rSlash - r/TIFU by Suction Cupping My Butt to the Shower

Episode Date: October 2, 2026

0:00 Intro 0:06 Suction 2:01 Psych ward 6:28 Puzzle 10:25 Spiked 11:49 Wrong text 13:06 Passionate hug party Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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free of charge. BetMGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with Eye Gaming Ontario. Hey, I'm Mike Barrenholz. On my new show, funny you ask, trivia starts the conversation, and then things immediately go off the rails. I ask a question. My guests think they know the answer. Sometimes they do. More often, they do not. And then the conversation takes a turn. One trivia question turns into stories about career highs, painful bombs, and behind the scenes moments that probably should have remained private. You'll hear confidence, misplaced confidence, bold guesses, wrong answers, quick laughs, and the slow realization that maybe this was, is a bad idea to say out loud. If you like smart comedy, sharp conversations, and trivia that

exists purely to melt people's brains, this is Funny You Ask with me, Ike Barrenholz. Follow Funny You Ask with Ike Barronholtz on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Welcome to R-slash Today I Fpped Up, where OP suction cups his butt to the shower floor. Today I effed up by getting suction cup to the shower floor. All right, this ain't pretty. But I feel that I must share this public service announcement to save a poor soul out there that thought they had a good idea from going through with what happened to me this morning. I'm a huge proponent of the shower beer and pretty much anyway to give yourself a little spa day at home. Occasionally, I like to enjoy sitting on the shower floor with the heat turned up to gather my thoughts. Here's the fact you need to know.

The shower tile is hard and I was looking for a workaround. Well, Walmart had these boating inner tubes on sale for like $3, and I had that eureka moment. Here's my reasoning. A shower and a pool both have water, so this should work just fine. It did not. Those pool tubes are supposed to float on water. If you set them on tile, then sit on it, you create a suction effect. A strong one that only gets stronger the more water flows around you and the more you

struggle. So there I am, stuck to the shower floor getting water boarded with a hundred and eighteen degree water. I can't reach the knob to turn the water off. All I can do, all I can do was laugh and wonder if this was going to make the newspaper in our small town if I had to call the fire department. Think everything wholly that I remembered it's just a $3 inflatable tube before any such calls were made. and I deflated that some bitch with a toothbrush. It was a humbling moment. But I'm free now and won't be doing that again. Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.

I think I've read too many Reddit stories because the title made me immediately think that O.P. was going to have some sort of dildo stuck to the wall type of situation. Anyone else thinks the story was going that way? Today I effed up by accidentally getting admitted to a psychiatric ward because I misheard my name. I went to the emergency room a day and a half ago after being assaulted at a barbecue party and knocked unconscious by an aggressive drunk guy, which potentially could have led to a concussion, as I was feeling a bit light-hitted, fatigued, and had a ringing sound in my ear.

I checked in and told them what happened. They took my information and printed out a patient tag for me. Shortly after, I was taken to an examination room and they examined my face and ears for any injuries. They noticed my jaw was quite swollen, which they found concerned. and they ordered an X-ray and CT scan for me so they could check for internal injuries. I was told to go to the waiting room and that someone would come shortly and escort me to my x-ray. I was honestly a bit surprised I was the only one sitting in the waiting room at that moment. About 10 minutes passed and two men wearing white robes come to the waiting room and called a last name,

which I didn't quite hear, but I heard it ended with Sun. For context, I'm Icelandic and living in Sweden, and in both countries, last name ending in Sun are very common. My last name just so happens to end in Sun too, so I just assumed they were calling my name, as I was the only one in the waiting room. I went up to them and told them that was me, to which they just sort of nodded, and told me they would escort me to the next building over. On the way there, they asked me if I'd been driven to the emergency room by an ambulance, and I replied that I had just walked there, to which they were extremely surprised, and asked me if that was really the best idea.

They asked me a bunch of things, but I had a bit of a hard time understanding their questions in Swedish, and I explained that Swedish was not my first language. They asked me what my native language was, and I said Icelandic, which they seemed kind of confused over. They took me to an elevator and pressed the button to another floor. I asked them, So, what happens now?

And they replied they're going to take me to a room where a doctor will come talk to me. We exited the elevator and walked toward a locked door that led to a hallway. The sign above the door said psychiatric ward, which made me very confused. I somehow made it make sense in my head that because I possibly had a concussion or some type of head injury, they had to evaluate me and take down some sort of information before my x-ray and CT scan. They took me to a room that was labeled Calm room, and I was asked to sit.

I was asked to do a breathalyzer test, which they told me with standard procedure to make sure I was sober. One of the guys that had escorted me sat with me and started to ask me personal questions in a weirdly childlike and condescending tone. I answered his questions as genuinely as I could, but the fact that he complimented me on answering the most basic things made me even more confused. I thought the whole situation was extremely weird, but I just kind of accepted that this was some sort of standard of to make sure I didn't have any kind of memory loss and that I was aware of my surroundings. After several minutes, the doctor finally arrived. She called me the name of another patient, and I told her, that's not my name. The whole room went quiet. They just stood there and looked very confused. Then they finally asked me who I was, and I answered and explained to them that I was

at the emergency room for a checkup because of trauma to the head. They finally checked my patient tag and realized they had escorted the wrong patient. They apologized profusely and told me that this had never happened to them before. They offered to escort me back to the waiting room and jokingly said that they would not charge me anything for the free tour of the psychiatric ward. The two men who had taken me to the psych ward showed me the way back and their tone and demeanor towards me changed drastically. They finally believed I really did. I really did. wasn't a Swedish psychiatric patient and that I really had walked to the emergency room by myself. When I arrived back at the waiting room, a man was waiting for me to escort me where I was

actually supposed to go. The good news is that the scan showed no fractures or internal bleeding, but the doctor who gave me the result joked that he would not be writing in his report that the psychiatric ward had accidentally hijacked me for a little while. O.P., you're lucky they didn't actually book you in. No, you got the wrong guy. That's not. That's not. not actually me. Sure, sure, I bet. Take your medicine, buddy. Today I effed up by spending decades of my life and derailing a meeting on an impossible puzzle. Back in the 90s, a teacher gave us a line puzzle to solve, saying that if we could solve it by the end of the year, we'd have a pizza party. You basically have to draw a specific pattern without lifting your pencil or repeating your lines.

For 10 minutes, everyone tried because pizza party, but then everyone got bored. I was obsessed and couldn't let it go. As others were doodling the S or random shapes, I was drawing this half-finished puzzle, always one line away. At the end of the year, no party. Years passed, and I would still occasionally try to solve it when it popped into my head. During junior high bio, high school chemistry, college history. There'd always be a 10-minute period of remembering, trying a bunch of times before,

eff it, got a focus, then forgetting for a few months. I got a job and at least once a year I'd find myself in a pointless meeting just trying over and over again. The margins of my notepad covered in the designs because surely if I just keep trying I'll unlock it. If I start with this line, maybe this line, if I go this way, always the same result. One line short and I move on. Occasionally, I would mention the puzzle to someone else. They would make a few attempts and get bored. This morning, I had to be in the office for a monthly meeting.

Nothing important, just project updates. I got there early because it's better to be early than late, so I started to make a few attempts. A coworker came in, we made small talk, and I mentioned the puzzle. He said it sounds easy to just make a workflow to eliminate all possible paths. I told him I'd been trying for three decades, and it's harder than it seems. He took that as a challenge and makes a few attempts, repeating the same, if I start with this line. Another coworker comes in,

sees both of us drawing the same shape over and over, asks what we're doing, and then tries. Eventually, there's 11 grown adults in the meeting room drawing a shape. At one point, someone says they figured it out, we ask how, and they just said,

I don't remember, I think I, and then retries, but comes up short. Someone finally says, we're 20 minutes into the meeting. Let's just YouTube the solution. There's dozens of videos showing how to solve it, but each one breaks one of the rules about not repeating a line. We go to Google, and one of the top results was a Reddit post that called it the impossible line puzzle, with all the comments saying it's mathematically an impossible puzzle.

So I was given a line puzzle as a kid that I was low-key obsessed with solving for over three decades. It's been on the internet since early AOL, and I didn't once think to look for the answer online, I would have learned it was impossible, but I was just stupid enough to still think I can solve it. O.P., I was browsing the internet recently, and I saw an advertisement for puzzle boxes, and it was a set of four increasingly difficult puzzle boxes. The objective is to open up the box and find the prize inside. And I like puzzles a lot, so I bought all four puzzles on Impulse, and it was, I don't even remember, something like $200.

And they came, and I was super excited to try them. So I start with the easiest puzzle thinking I'll blow through this and then I can start trying the harder puzzles. And I am completely stuck on the easiest puzzle. I have absolutely no clue what to do. I'm like three steps in and I'm just, it's like a total brick wall. I've been trying for like five to ten minutes every day for about two weeks now. And it makes me feel so stupid. Every time I fail to make progress, I'm tempted to look up the results online and figure out how to do it.

But I'm like, if I can't even figure out the easy puzzle, I may as well just. chuck the other three in the garbage. It's like I spent 200 bucks just to make myself feel stupid. What an awful feeling. Today I effed up by appearing to spike a girl's drink. So a group of friends is at a pool party slash barbecue. I have a packet of something called stiffy stuff. No, really, which is a novelty magic trick slash practical joke. It's a powder that instantly turns a liquid into something with a consistency of jello. I decide I'm going to deploy. I'm going to deploy it into the drink of my friend, thinking she'll be appropriately surprised to find her juice has turned into a semi-solid gel. Oh, what fun! Unfortunately, another girl saw me putting the

powder into her drink, and immediately and loudly warned my would-be prank-e that I had spiked her drink. I had not considered the optics of this joke if I got caught in the act, and it was a pretty embarrassing explanation that while immature, this was emphatically not a rupee situation. No, no, no, I'm not a sexual assaulter. I'm just a moron. You gotta believe me. Only a moron would do something this stupid. Down in the comment, someone says, should have been pretty obvious when the liquid solidified. O.P. replied, naturally. And that's how the situation kind of resolved itself. Still, there was this really humiliating and awkward 30 seconds where I was essentially Bill Cosby. Today I effed up by telling my boss I was horny.

This happened recently and proved that I should put my phone down when I'm drunk. I'd gone day drinking with some friends and got pretty hammered. I got home and was just chilling on the sofa. My girlfriend was going to come over after work, but that was still a few hours away. I was texting her, telling her how much I missed her. Then my boss texted me. He asked me if I wanted to come in extra early the next morning. After, we all know where this is going.

After reading that text, I went back to texting my girlfriend. At this point, I was really horny. So I texted her, I'm so effing horny right now. But I messed up and accidentally texted that to my boss. My boss just texted back, What the hell? Realizing my mistake, I texted him, back and said that I meant to text my girlfriend that, and I'd be in early the next morning.

He thanked me. I was so embarrassed going into work the next morning. My boss seemed to have a good sense of humor about it. He told me, I guess I shouldn't text you on your day off. I started to laugh, but still, I was very embarrassed. The top reply, double down and ask him what he's doing tonight. Today I effed up by throwing an adult party. Me and my co-worker are, are always playing the harmless little jokes on each other, with the purpose of trying to embarrass one another. He's probably late 60s, balding, short, and he's been married for most of his life. Even though he was at work today, I put on his out of office something along the lines of, I'll be out of the office so that me and my wife can enjoy our quote, lifestyle cruise.

We're always interested in making new friends. Please reach out if you ever want to get together. I thought it was pretty harmless and wasn't too over the top. Figuring most people wouldn't even know what I was talking about. I was wrong. His message was up for most of the day until he realized what was going on and turned it off. The next morning, he ends up getting called into HR to explain his email about inviting coworkers to his sex party.

Instead of ratting me out or explaining the story, he simply decided to say, I'm sorry I overshared. I should have thought that through better. And that was it. He didn't even get into trouble. But now, HR thinks he's into swinging. O.P., just wait until he gets his revenge on you.

That was our slash today I effed up. And if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day. My reg league goalie says he plays for the love of the game. You gave up six goals last week, Steve? Maybe play to win, huh? Like with Bet365, I get paid the second my team goes up big with early payout and can cash out at any time before the game ends.

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