rSlash - r/TIFU Toxic Dog Pee Put me in the Hospital

Episode Date: September 17, 2025

0:00 Intro 0:05 Burnt 2:26 Pee 6:49 Bathhouse 10:25 Water 13:57 Pavlov Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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3.99% during the Volvo fall experience event condition supply visit your local Volvo retailer or go to explorevolvo.com. Welcome to r slash today I effed up, where OP sunburns his eyeballs. Today I effed up by accidentally making myself colorblind. So yesterday I went surfing for the day with my brother. I got up early and basically spent the entire day on the water, eight hours total. Around the four hour mark, my vision started to get red when I blinked, which I've experienced before so I brushed it off as normal. An hour or two later, everything that was normally black or a very

dark color started to appear red or maroon, which I have not experienced before. By the time I left the water, all the rocks on the beach were this ruby red, looking totally insane. And I knew that I overdid the day, but figured I'd sleep it off. Here's where things get weird. My brother and I get back to camp and he started a fire. The fire was monster energy green. I totally panicked, realizing I actually fried my eyes and I tried to sleep it off. I wake up the next morning, no difference. So here I am, over 24 hours later and this is where I'm at. Black is now maroon. Pure white is monster green. Red and yellow are both different shades of orange, and Minecraft Diamond Teal is just straight up gray.

I'm feeling quite depressed and hoping my vision returns, but I'm not feeling too hopeful. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated, lull. Edit. Hitting to the hospital. Appreciate the comments, lull. Update. I have burnt corneas. The eye doctor said it's very likely not permanent damage, and it should correct itself in three to four weeks. No direct sun exposure in the meantime.

So it's looking like a shit. Shaded summer for me. Bad joke. Then another update. I had my first good sleep since the incident. I'm starting to see some improvements. Teal is coming back a bit. The only significant impact currently is red through yellow all appearing the same. White is still a bit green. I'm doing a bit of googling about this and apparently being on the water for long periods of time can be extra dangerous because you're getting sunlight from above and also reflected from both. low off the surface of the water. This can also be a problem for skiers. So be aware of that the next time you hit the beach or the slope so you don't sunburn your eyeballs. Today I effed up by cleaning old

dog pee and ending up in the ER. So earlier today I was cleaning the bathroom. I have a tall laundry basket that I keep in there for dirty clothes. It's the kind that has small holes going up the sides. I usually keep a thick plastic bag in there to keep the smell of the dirty clothes in. Well, as I was cleaning, I noticed the laundry basket had a little yellowing to it at the bottom. When I bent down, I realized that my two dogs have been sneak peeing in the laundry basket. So I take the bag out, and of course, there it is, semi-dried, nasty pee in the bottom of the laundry basket. In my head, I'm thinking, this needs to be sanitized immediately. So here's where I messed up.

I put the laundry basket into the tub and grabbed the first sanitizing thing I had. I see, concentrated bleach, and I pour. As soon as I poured the bleach onto the pee, I knew I messed up bad because it instantly started bubbling. It created toxic chlorine ammonia gas. I turned the tub faucet on full blast into the mix, knocked the basket over in the tub so it could drain, and ran out of the bathroom to grab a rag to wrap around my face. I wasn't fast enough though, because my eyes and nose were on fire. Once I got back, back into the bathroom, most of the mix had gone down the drain, and I took the basket outside. After a few minutes breathing real air, I went back in and opened up all the doors and put the fans on high. My eyes were still stinging pretty bad. My nose felt burnt, and my face felt tight. I sat down to try to play a video game, thinking I didn't get it that bad, but after a few minutes of trying to shoot the cannon through my tears, I decided I might need to go to the hospital. So I make it to the ER. They take one look at me.

me and send me straight to triage. Here's where it gets better. The triage nurse looks at my eyes and says that we need to get you to an eyewash station for 15 minutes to wash your eyes out because they have mild chemical burn. There's one just around the corner in the bathroom. Let me tell you guys that the nurse was just as surprised as me to say that the eyewash station was no longer in that bathroom. So she goes to find an eyewash station while I sit there with my eyes just crying. And let me tell you, there was no eyewash station on the ER floor. So this nice nurse says there's one up in ICU for sure across from that nurse's station. So a whole different nice nurse takes me up a floor to ICU where we go to that bathroom where

there is no eyewash station. We find another bathroom and another no eyewash stations anywhere. So finally I say, hey, I worked in a lot of kitchens and restaurants. There's always an eyewash station next to the dish pit. So we go all the way down to the hospital cafeteria where I stand against the wall and wait for the nurse to see if there's an eyewash station in the kitchen. I waited for a while too. When she came back, she was holding two bottles in her hand, portable eyewash kit. The kitchen only had two of those and no others, and they needed them back, but yeah, I could use them. The kitchen didn't have an

eyewash station either. I came to find out later, the hospital had just gotten remodeled, and no one anywhere in the hospital thought to have an eyewash station reinstalled anywhere in any bathroom on the whole premises. So the nice nurse takes me back to the ER area with bottles, and we go to a bathroom where I stand over the sink for 15 minutes squishing those bottles into my eyes while making small talk with a nice nurse who has to stand there and time me. Finally, I get done with that, and they sit me in a room until a different nurse comes to look at my eyes, Listen to my lungs, and basically make sure I don't have chemical burns anywhere else. My nose is a bit crispy right inside, but since I didn't breathe in, I was okay.

She leaves, and I wait a little longer for the doctor to come in. He prescribes 500 units in each eye with the Morgan's lens. So I sat there and let this nurse put these crazy lenses in my eyes after some numbing drops, and they did a wash of my eyes, which was the craziest feeling ever. I'm home now, finally. My eyes hurt like hell, and I've got 10 days of eyedrops prescribed every three hours. So, in case you don't know, don't clean urine with bleach, especially old, dried urine, which is basically just pure ammonia. Today I effed up by visiting a Japanese bathhouse. Back in 2017, I was in my final year of university, and I got the opportunity to spend five

weeks in Tokyo for an exchange slash observorship. One of the items on my bucket list was to visit Asinto, which is a traditional indoor Japanese bathhouse. I wanted to go somewhere a bit less touristy, and luckily there was a place only a few blocks from where I was staying, like 45 minutes out the central city. Not wanting to make an idiot of myself. I did some research beforehand regarding what to expect and how to act. One thing mentioned was that you have to wash yourself before you hop in the pool. I didn't have any soap, but I read that you can buy it at most places, and if not, then it'll often be supplied. When I got there, I quickly realized that no one spoke English, and although I managed to pay for my entry, I couldn't communicate about the soap,

nor could I see any for purchase behind the counter. I assumed there would be some in the actual bathing area, so I stripped down naked in the changing room, put my clothes in a locker, and proceeded into the actual bathing room. On the left side of the room, there was a lot of the room, like 15 or so washing stations. To the right was a big pool. There were a few old men sitting, well, more like squatting on tiny footstool things washing themselves. I was the only non-Japanese person there, and alas, there was no soap in sight. Then I spied just to the left of the entrance on a table, a small woven basket with like seven bars of soap in it. This is where I made my big screw up. I assumed that this was the communal soap basket. I grabbed a bar of soap,

and walked over to one of the washing stations to get to business. One of the old Japanese guys saw me doing this and started glaring at me and muttering something under his breath. This would have been the time to return the soap to the basket and call it a day. But I'm an effing idiot, so that didn't happen. Shortly after, another old Japanese man gets out of the bath, walks over to the table, picks up the basket of soap, exchanges words with the guy who glared at me,

and proceeds to also start glaring at me, and saying something in what seemed to be a pretty angry tone. This is when I realize, with horror, that the basket was, in fact, his, and I had just stolen one of his bars of soap. By this point, I'd already lathered myself up, however, so handing the soap back to him clearly wasn't an option. I awkwardly tried to apologize, but I could see that it wasn't well received. I didn't see any other option except to finish washing myself,

but the next issue was that I had nowhere to put the soap. I didn't have a toiletries bag with me, and there were no rubbish bins anywhere. So I just sat there, red-faced, completely naked, dying a million deaths inside, continuously rubbing soap on myself and breaking it up slash disintegrating it into small enough chunks that it would go down the drain. I'm sure the Japanese men continued glaring and cursing at me, but I didn't make any further eye contact with them, so I can't be completely sure.

After this ordeal was over, I rinsed myself off, got up, and entered the bath. The water was incredibly hot, however, and this, alongside the shame and embarrassment washing over me, made for a thoroughly unenjoyable experience. I only stayed in there for like five minutes before slinking out, back to the safety of my touristy accommodation. O.P., what a power play! Not only do you steal the soap right in front of the guy, but then you crush the bar of soap into dust in front of them. Today I effed up by giving a little girl a sip of my water. I've been working as an assistant coach on my son's little league team.

The team consists of six and seven-year-olds, 14 boys, one girl. I've never coached kids before, but I love baseball, and kids always seem to like me, so it's working well. The coach is fantastic, and really, we all seem to get along great. So the coach texted me and basically said, hey, make sure your volunteer paperwork is in order, and I recommend you go and submit for the background check. I want us to be completely above board. This is standard in little league sports, so no problem. Never been arrested. Everything's cool. The one little girl on this team is a big personality. She always tries to hug me, often in front of her mom, and I try not to hug her back.

I've spoken with her mom about this, and she just says, oh yeah, she's a big hugger. She hugs everyone. I'm very friendly with her mom, and I do treat the girl a little differently than the boys, less hands-on. She goes to the same school as my son, who's popular. The other evening, we were playing a game, and it was very sunny and warm. The kids were playing hard and sweating. We're all in the dugout, and I brought a refillable water bottle from my son. I was compelling him to drink water, and the girl says, I'm really thirsty. Can I have some too?

I tell her to go ask her mom for a water bottle, and she says, My mom isn't here now. She's watching my brother's game. Okay, so I unscrew the sippy cap off and give it to her, and she takes a drink. A little while later, a different kid asks for a drink, and I say, sure, open your mouth and I'll pour you a sip, since I'm trying not to cross-contaminate with germs. The little boy is really thankful because the water's cold. Soon, a bunch of kids are asking me to pour some water in their mouth, and I'm thinking, I'll bring in a big jug next time with paper Dixie cups, just like when I was a kid.

Then the little girl comes up and asks for a drink. I try to hand it to her and she says, No, pour it in my mouth like you do the other kids. I said, okay, you are silly, but sure, and I pour her a drink into her open mouth. Now, apparently some other mom saw this and felt that it was inappropriate and told her mom and then both moms went to the coach with their concerns. The coach spoke to me about it during the next game. He told me the complaint and immediately said,

this is a no-win situation for you. Do you understand? I assume that means that I shouldn't say or do anything else about it. I was on Cloud 9 coaching these kids and it brought me crashing down to reality. It terrifies me and baffles me that I could do something so innocent and be accused of something so horrible. So what am I going to do about it? They just made me an official assistant coach. Well, I am absolutely going no physical contact with this girl. She tried to hug me last game, and I stopped her and said, sorry, I'm not allowed to. Later, she told me that she wanted to play catcher and asked me to help her get the gear on. I told her, go ask your mom if she wants you to play catcher. The mom said no, and then appeared in the dugout and said, I'll help

you get the gear on, and she did. I will never be a coach again on a team with a little girl on it. Seems like a lot of fuss, personally. As a dad who has a little girl, I don't find this to be particularly appropriate. If O.P. did this only with a little girl and treated the guys differently, then yeah, I could see that being a little weird, but since, you know, all the seven-year-olds were like, oh, pour it in my mouth too, just being fun. It doesn't seem weird at all. But I guess some parents are just going to be sensitive, so what are you going to do? Today I effed up by pavloving myself into sleeping with my wife for food. So I'm 38, and I've been married almost eight years now. I love my wife, and our marriage is great. That being said, and without going into too much detail,

there are certain things she likes to do in the bedroom, which require a certain amount of prep, which, honestly, I don't always feel like putting in the time and effort into doing. Not that I don't enjoy the act, mind you, I just don't always want to turn it into a whole production. In a seemingly unrelated note, there's a bakery I really, really love. They make the absolute best croissants. It's like eating clouds. It's insane. But keeping with the theme of me not wanting to make a whole thing of these things, it's located on a narrow street, not within walking distance, and parking's a nightmare. Going there is a commitment. Still, whenever we do go, it's so worth it. We get pastries for the day, some coffee, and a few plain croissants to make croiss sandwiches later. It's amazing. A while back, my wife went, how about I go get us pastries from the place you like while you prepare and we do the thing?

And I agreed because, in my mind, totally worth it. It was practically the best day ever. This became something of a norm for a few months. Unfortunately, the other day when I went to get pastries, I realized I couldn't stop thinking about the deed. Now, apparently, that particular act in my mind is completely tied to those croissants. I genuinely cannot perform the act without craving croissants. And perhaps even worse, I cannot go to the baking.

without thinking about intercourse. I'm not going to say it ruined intercourse or croissants for me, but sending my wife out to get pastries in return for intercourse certainly did backfire. The comments are all thinking what I was thinking. Tell us your wife likes pegging you without telling us your wife likes pegging you. That was our slash today I effed up. And if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.