rSlash - r/Tinder Incel Seeks Super Model FWB

Episode Date: April 25, 2022

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Welcome to our slash tinder, where love is in the air. On this next post, OP Warns never let a tinder date drop you off after a date, especially if you tell them you don't think that y'all are compatible. I just needed someone who wasn't so vanilla, girl. I needed someone who liked excitement and liked going out. It's not personal, I just got bored with you. I'm sorry I hurt you. You're just not about the fun, travel, and the nightlife.

I understand completely. I'm so glad, Loll. Of course. That's probably the first time that you ever took responsibility for your shortcomings, Loll. Like the fact that you just sit there like a doormat. And that you let yourself be a punching bag and then stay passive. Like I wish I knew how to help you with your self esteem.

I will say this though, I hope that you've moved since then, the gangs around there are terrible, winky face. Do you open the door for Uber Eats? I bet you do. I might be a nice guy sometime, and just to tell you that I'm sorry, send you a delicious meal via Uber Eats. You should have died in that car wreck. You're a pathetic excuse for a human being. Take care, you piece of s**t. You look really good considering that you've had a kid. What? So are you saying that when a woman has a child, she immediately becomes ugly? Wow, what a backhanded compliment.

No, I meant like sometimes when a woman has a child, their body can be a bit loose. Face palm emoji. I'm fed up. Why is that? Just women pissing me off. In what way? They don't want to date me and they ignore me. Maybe because you come on too strong.

So I shouldn't approach. No, do, but don't come across as to needy or thirsty. Actually attempt to get to know the person first. I don't come off as thirsty or needy though, and I do try. You do. You come across as really insecure in desperate. And wouldn't you become insecure in desperate when you're constantly getting rejected? If you don't try, then people will tell you to try.

And then if you do try, they'll call you desperate. No, it's the way that you try. LMAO, life's just boring. Yeah, you don't sound like you're happy being on your own. Yeah, it's rubbish. You need to work on yourself. I have! Dating is so exhausting as well. You haven't tried, otherwise you'd be fine with being on your own and you wouldn't have such a negative outlook on everything. Yes, dating is exhausting, which is why having

a break once in a while is good. Like, we all die in the end and life's boring anyways, you know? I've just lost my confidence. Sorry to hear that. Women hate me. It sucks. They just want black guys. Oh, right. You know, not every woman has that preference. I feel depressed now. You need to work on yourself, mate. Get some counseling, go to the gym, and get that confidence up. Feel more sure about yourself, because you do come across as very insecure. I've lost confidence because of women. No, I'm depressed because of them. No, you've lost confidence because you take everything personally, and you've allowed

your interactions to affect you. If you were secure with yourself, you would just brush it off and move on to the next person. It's no one else's fault for the way that you feel, and the sooner you realize that, the better. You need counseling. I'm thinking of, oh my God. I'm thinking of painting myself black. Don't be ridiculous.

Shut up. That's rude. No wonder you're finding it difficult if you speak to people like that. Huh? You saw my messages and you approached me on video. You look cute. Why can't we just go get nandos? Do you hate me or something? No. You're ugly. Good to know.

And good job. Your opinion means absolutely nothing to me, Lull. Your kid is ugly too. Lull, yeah, you have issues. Opie, I appreciate the attempt that you're making to help this guy out, but he seems like kind of a lost cause. Anyone, anyone, anyone he's talking about painting themselves black to go on a date? Um, yikes, my dude. I'm leaving now.

See you soon. See you soon. See you soon. Um... Yeah, I just saw you from afar, and I'm sorry, but I can't meet you. I don't like guys who are too fat. I'm not attracted to them. I'm sorry, so it's better for me to go back home than to pretend that I liked you. Good luck with your upcoming dates on Tinder. Wow, but you could see what I look like for my photos.

I'm literally shirtless in one of them. But I thought you were less fat. Maybe it's how I'm sitting down? Who knows. I couldn't be attracted to you. Sorry. So I'm going back home now. Cool. It's better that way than pretending that I liked you. And you don't look like you're 22, you look like you're much older. I am 22, but fair, I do hear that a bit.

You look like you're 35 maybe. I know because you haven't found a girlfriend yet, so take care of yourself more. So you're not coming back then? Nice. No way, I got home already. Oh no, see, I said nice. I'm the one dodging a bullet here. And I'm dodging a big cannon.

You should go to the gym sometime, it's good for you. And go to the dentist too, because I didn't see your broken tooth. And this girl links a picture of this guy from his profile where he's smiling, and you can see one of his broken teeth. And then like OP includes pictures of like what he posts on his profile, and yeah, you can see his full body. So to this girl just like not look at the photos, and then bail on the date because of what he looked like, that's just, what? Anyways OP, I'm with you on this one. You definitely dodged a bullet. She's judgmental, mean, hypocritical, and honestly kind of stupid. Profile from Jonathan, age 31. I'm looking for my lovely ever after. You must be blonde

or brunette. You must be fit and toned and go to the gym at least four times weekly. Be no more than 5'11 and no less than 5 foot 4 in height. You must be available at all times and give good head. He must be able to cook and clean and devote as much of your time to me as possible. He must have a steady income of over $70,000. You have to have your own apartment that I can crash at occasionally. If you fit these criteria, swipe right. I will not settle for anything less. Also, I'm not interested in big beautiful women and single moms. On this next post, OP describes how their date thought that they were a catfish. I'm

literally sitting right by the door, wearing a red plaid shirt. You can't miss me. Is the front door facing the parking lot or the main road? The parking lot. That's their patio towards the main road. Um, are you here? I really hope that you didn't see the much older man sitting by the door outside, also wearing red, and thinking that I'm a catfish, LMAO. I'm sitting by the door inside.

Oh my God! That's definitely what happened, isn't it? LMAO. 100% I'm turning around. And then the girl gets inside and opes like, surprise it's me, the old man. So let's go in our date, babe. This next post is a profile on Bumble. About me, I got a hand it to my husband.

He really screwed up when he told me that he wanted an open marriage so he could ask out a waitress who turned him down, by the way. I'm giving him a taste of his own medicine by going on dates and having loud intercourse. F.U. Jim, bonus points for anyone who insults him in your first message. I'm still not over how I should have seen this coming. This is a man who once spent most of our rent money on only fans and betting on his favorite college football team one month. I now fully see how absolutely pathetic my husband Jim is. Short, tiny dick, bad job, and no effing clue. I can't wait

to humiliate him on the way out the door. I get way too excited about finding a man that I can date after my inevitable divorce. But who would also have some fun publicly shaming him in the process? Any ideas are totally on the table. This seems like a totally safe and healthy relationship to walk into and not at all like diving into a burning dumpster fire. You've matched with Tommy. I've got all my teeth. I'm a small town guy too. That's good, Lull. So, what do you do down here for fun?

I'm down visiting my grandma for a few days. Mostly just, yo, what the f***? Wait, what? Is this a... No. Mostly just go to clan rallies. If you look close enough, there are very few inwards here, and there's a reason for it.

Thumbs up emoji. What the f***? Your dad is your brother too, isn't he? On this next post, OP is a woman and has been talking to a guy on Tinder for a few weeks. So is taking a fist? Just gotta... Wait, what? Hold up.

Wait, what? Wait, what am I reading is this guy talking about fisting her so was taking a fist you just gotta loop it up and work on it a little bit you're just being basic lol whatever good luck finding someone to fist I didn't say that I wanted to do it I'm just saying that you should be willing to try it if you want to find someone. You gotta try a little harder than being basic to get what you want, Loll. Loll, I don't think I want someone that wants to fist me, bro.

Why? Are you saying that if you met the perfect guy and they were like, I want to fist you, you turned them down just because of that? Loll, yeah. Like, why the hell would I let someone put a whole hand in me? Wow, you're not allowed to ever complain about being single. You're your own worst enemy when it comes to dating, Loll. I don't understand why OP is being so resistant.

This guy is obviously just trying to help her out, you know, just give her a hand. We had a black... Oh, geez. Okay, I'd like to point out that I'm just reading with this guy saying he doesn't say we had a black eye on sight. He said we had a black on sight. We had a black on sight doing heating and he got kicked out low. Cussie's black?

Yeah, it was awesome. He was lazy AF though. Yeah, I'm not cool with racism. Sorry dude, that's kind of screwed up, that sucks, I really liked you. So you don't like me anymore? It's not like I'm part of the KKK. Well, just to verify, I have Black friends too, so there's a difference between Black people and inwards. And he doesn't say the word inward, he says the actual inward. I listen to a ton of rap music too, don't get all millennial on me now.

If not being racist is a millennial thing, then I actually don't mind being categorized with them for once. You've matched with Hannah. Where'd you grow up at Hannah? I grew up in Alabama. I do have to say that it's a cousin fucking town and I'm a product of insist. You'll be my first non-biological body if my plans go right. Down in the comments, I'm gonna read this post from just another ghost.

Well, you can still call me daddy if it makes you more comfortable. Also, we have this post from another Russian spy. I used to work with a guy from Louisiana, and one day during lunch, somebody mentioned imbreeding. I don't remember the context, but it had nothing to do with the guy from down south. Anyway, the southern guy stood up, pissed off, screaming, that don't just happen in the south, that happens in all small towns. Lorraine, nobody to f**k but your cousin?

Everybody looked at him, and one guy says, you f**k your cousin, didn't you? small towns. I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.