rSlash - r/Tinder "Total Nympho Seeks Man Who Will Ignore My Red Flags 🚩🚩🚩"

Episode Date: November 26, 2021

r/Tinder Are you looking for love? Well so are these folks, including some of the biggest red flags to ever hit the dating world. This one girl says that she's a nympho, but she also straight-up admits that she's a "master manipulator." How dumb would you have to be to date someone who proudly says that about themselves? It's like a giant red flag factory 🚩 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to R-slash, a podcast where I read the best post from a cross-reddit. Today's subreddit is R-slash-tender, where love is in the air. The profile of Matt, who's 22. Requirements, you must be under 6 feet, you must not be obese, must be traditional, must not have any baggage, must have conservative values, must work out, must upkeep yourself, must not nag or complain, must not have red, blue, or non-natural hair color, must not have more than $8,000 in debt, must have over a 725 go score, must not smoke or drink. If you can have preferences, so can men. If you have

feminist attributes, I'll swipe right, so if you feel the need to get triggered and vins, go right ahead. This whole post is just weird and mean, but what's so strange about it is you can't have more than $8,000 in debt, which first of all is a weird number, but secondly, why cut people off because they have $8,000 in debt? What if there's a hot, smart doctor who's like a brain surgeon, but new doctors in their field start off with tons and tons of debt. In fact most people who go to college have way more than $8,000 in debt so that's such a like weird arbitrary cutoff. And how are you supposed to have a high credit score unless you're in debt because the best way to raise your credit score and get a really high 700 plus credit score is to pay off your debts. It's like is this guy trying to find a girlfriend or is he trying to approve of a mortgage loan?

On this next post OP title's a post, should I? So what are you looking for? Someone cool to hang out with for starters. No real expectations, Lull. Opened to anything? Just see where it goes? Opened to pretty much anything, yep. So like most guys fall into three categories. Oh yeah. Type 1 only wants to passionately hug. Type 2 is looking for a relationship. Type 3 say they want a passionately hug and they're open to whatever comes. Normally the type 3 guys only want a passionately hug and they say that they're open to give ladies hope of a relationship. When in reality they have no desire for anything but passionately hugging every once in a while, lol. Passionately hugging is great in everything, but it's

definitely not all there is. I just know there has to be a spark for anything to happen, so I try to keep an open mind. Oh, I like that. I'm just gonna give you a few warnings about me. I'm crazy, but I'm aware of most of it. I'm a nympho, I'm an attention whore, but I'm always loyal and honest too. I have a very high passionate hugging drive, and it's caused many relationships to fail because I want it so much. Thanks for being honest. I'm a bit of an open book. I want to show you all of me, not just the good side, because if it's going to become something, you'll see it all eventually. And if not, I'd rather it be sooner than later.

Definitely, I appreciate it. I'm liking you already. I appreciate the no BS factor. Thank you for being appreciative. I'm 38 and I'm overplaying games and all that. For sure, I don't like beating around the bush either, unless it's the fun kind, lol. But I'm also a master manipulator. it was a survival technique when growing up. Down in the comments, thinkbox thinks says, this is like walking through the woods, openly

seeing a bear trap and then happily stepping into it. And then Manwazo adds, yeah but the word nympho is written on the bear trap, so it's worth getting some action first. OP, if someone straight up tells you that they're a master manipulator, then why would you ever want to spend any time with them? So, no OP, you should not. Unless, of course, you like sticking your dick in a bear trap. Well, anyways, the guy from the last post can be best friends with this guy. Lady, it's a hard pass for me if you fall under these categories. Fat, obese, big, beautiful woman, curvy, or other words for fats. If you're on any form of medication for your mental health, if you have kids over 30

years old, if you're boring and need conversations carried, if you've ever, ugh. If you've ever been R-worded or you're in an abuse of long-term relationship. If you're alcoholic or a drug addict, if you're a feminist, if you're flat-chested with no butts, if you have multiple tattoos, one I can look past, but more than that, nah. If you use online dating for ego boosts. That nursery picture you took with all the plants is beautiful. I miss my garden when I had my house. We love plants around here. I feel so lucky that I have a space to have a whole bunch of house plants and a good-sized garden. What kind of garden you got going on? Food, permaculture, pretty things to look at. Mostly food in a few pretty things, although the season is just about over and that's such a bummer. You could cultivate some fall and winter plants like winter

green, which will still bury in the winter, and the berries are edible and taste amazing. I mean, you can feel free. I don't really need suggestions for my garden though. I wish I could. It's one of those things that I really miss about having a home. But this lifestyle is really rewarding as well. Have you traveled at all yourself? Alright, I know what I'm doing in my space, and I really don't need you to tell me that there are fall and winter plants. I'm well aware, thanks. I opt to not grow them. I can be bummed about tomato season ending while not wanting to grow in the colder months. I don't need a solution.

Oof, that type of overreaction to a simple conversation continuer is a bit too much for me. I hope you find what you're looking for, but it won't be with me. Down in the comments, JBSL says, being a gardener myself, it's possible she actually got a stick up her ass earlier that day. Are you a toaster because I want to take a bath with you? Ha ha, nice one. It would be pretty electrifying. Sparks would be flying for sure.

You could say there's a spark between us? Yeah, I definitely sense a connection. I have a socket that you could plug into and then OP tries the exact same pickup line on another woman. Are you a toaster because I'd like to take a bath with you? That's how my dad died. So you want to take me out the same way? What the f*** is wrong with you?

Listen for anyone watching this video, I strongly advise against taking a bath with a toaster because it'll make your toast all soggy and gross. Do you like BBC? Do you mean beautiful British Columbia? Sadly, I've never been. No, I mean something else. The British Broadcasting Company has some great shows. The IT crowd and Peaky Blinders are amazing.

No, not that BBC. You'll get it, I'm sure. If you meant bald by choice, I'm not really into bald guys, but I guess you could pull it off. You are very smart, I see. You know a lot. Of course, I sit on my big black couch and study every day. I like you. And sometimes I wear my big black crock to the library. And you drive a big black car, I guess? Nah, it got stolen by a British-born Christian. Oh, okay, but don't worry, I got one. You've matched with Tabby. Are you my laptop?

Because you're very hot, and I'm concerned. Let me try that again. Are you my laptop because you're very hot and I'm concerned? Let me try that again. Are you a flatterer, because I'd go to the edge of the world for you? Then three days later, OP writes. Alright, how about this? Are you a parking ticket because you've got fine written all over you? Then one day later, not your style? If I said that you had a great body, would you hold it against me?

Man, that would have been my smoothest one yet. Then some days later, OP writes, okay, tough crowd, I might just send you d**k pics. Oh shoot, never mind, pictures don't work for some reason, so here you go, and he sends a duc emoji, a duck pick. Quack! You know, you're such a good listener. Did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth Plagueis the Wise? I thought not.

Uh, Opie, you're so smooth that you left her speechless. Why do you look so familiar? Huh? How so? I was gonna say the same. Maybe we matched a long time ago. Lots of perverts on here. Maybe if we did did it probably didn't end well. Oh yeah, that's fair. Well, I did delete Tinder for about a year so it was

probably that. I don't know, you look like my type so I probably would have either met you or ended up being mean to you. Well, I was seeing someone so that's why I deleted Tinder. But I don't think that we ever met. I didn't ask Lowell. A guy bringing up his ex on the first minute when I didn't ask Red Flag. Good luck with that heartbreak and best of luck on here. Lowell, what? How is that talking about an ex? I just explained why I deleted tender which is probably why we didn't meet. I didn't ask about your relationship history or why you deleted the app, but yeah, like I said, best of luck with that. Lots of men do go with the, I miss my ex-opener, so it might work for you too.

How was that saying that I miss my ex? This literally has nothing to do with that. God damn, no wonder you're having a tough time on here. Like I said, I'm not interested in someone who brings up their last relationship in the first minute. But best of luck with that method. Oh yeah, it's so my fault that men's first message to me on here is, I love your bald p***** or tell me you squirt. It's all me, moron. I really don't think that you understand what I said. Or you don't care and you just want to start something.

I was trying to explain that we probably didn't meet because I just deleted the app. No where did I mention anything about my ex? That's just being insecure on your end. I'm insecure because you aren't over your ex? Huh. Insecure, or I couldn't care less about a stranger on the internet who likes to talk about his last relationship. I must be insecure.

That's the only reasonable explanation. I am NOT interested in humoring another guy that's gonna start whining to me about his ex. That certainly does not make me insecure. Perhaps you're confused as to what the definition of the word is. I just want to say again that nowhere did I talk about my ex or say that I wasn't over her. Lol, I don't know where you got this from. This is just all you coming up with this. So, Sia. I feel like going on a date with this woman would be like,

so tell me about your past. Well, you know, I grew up in Virginia with my mom and my dad. Wow, you're talking about your mom already? What are you, some kind of mama's boy? Listen, I do not have time to date a guy who loves his mother more than me, so see ya! Profile of a 25 year old straight man. Requirements do not be fat. Have an $80,000 salary plus job. Must weigh less than 130 pounds. Cannot be taller than 5 foot 8. Must be fit to an extent. No baggage. No feminist qualities. Must hold conservative core values and be open-minded.

Do NOT effing argue with me. I'm not your daddy. You're paying for the first date. What? Must hold conservative values. Must not be a feminist. She must pay for the first date. What?

50-50 lifestyle. Stop smoking. It's nasty. If you're not at least a 7, I'm not interested. If I swiped right on you and you failed a requirement, don't even bother matching. These are my standards. Get lost if your butt hurts. Okay, so it should be pretty obvious what I think about this guy because I got confused while I was reading it. But how are you going to want a conservative woman who doesn't have feminist values,

but will also pay for the first date? What? You've matched with Matt. You need a dominant man to take control and put you in your place. Love you and take care of you. Give you love, affection, and the attention that you deserve. And what is my place exactly? By my side, with me, forever, addicted to each other.

I'm very spiritual, and I'm good at reading people's energies. Everything and everyone in the universe is made of energy, and it connects us all. I've turned down many women where the energy hasn't been right. It's a feeling, a knowing. I know I can make you happy, and I know you'll be good for me. And I'm very ambitious. I know what I want and I always get it. So I'm like a nerd, you know, I like video games and anime

and I'm not really into like the whole crystal spiritual chakra spiritualism thing that people are into, you know, not to judge. If you're into that fine, you know, it's just not for me But like as a gamer nerd whenever people talk about energy I'm always just thinking like oh your energy levels are off the charts. It's over 9,000 Did you use it for bin jutsu to open up one of your shock regates? I know that I could never dare I

Know that I could never date a girl who Like was into that type of thing because she'd be like, Tabney, will you stop it already? You're sending all this toxic energy my way. Hahaha. Meanwhile, I'm on the other side of the room being like, C'meeay. Hahaha. Swipe if you score more than 15.

Like staying at home plus five. Believing God plus five. Like staying at home plus five, believes in God plus five, works and or studies plus four, family oriented plus four, drive plus four, not clingy plus three, be able to compromise plus three, positive outlook plus two,

has goals in life plus two, remains common times of anger plus three, cooks plus four, minuses does not believe in the Lord minus five. Not good with parents minus four. Needs attention 24-7 minus three. Doesn't drive minus one. Goes out nearly every day minus five.

Smokes or does drugs minus five. Always gossiping minus four. Has hundreds of guyfriends minus four. All right, how do I stack up? three four five six seven eight nine ten. Oh 14 oh 18 oh works 22 oh oh likes staying at home five

27 oh 22 No 22 27? Uh oh, 20. 22. No, 22? Somebody help me. I scored a 22 and she's coming for me. Females, I'm looking for a woman who will all caps make me see you in. In, make me dinner. A, appreciate the things I do for you. K, kiss me. E, eager to ask about my day. I'm... marry me. Eeeh, endlessly love me. See, capture my heart. You, until death to us part. I'm... make me c-

Oh, and I like girls who is blonde, intelligent, and big booty. Yes, OP, I also like girls who is big booty. I also like girls who is intelligent. What type of guy doesn't like girls who is big booty and who is intelligent? Okay, I'll order you pay. That sounds fair. What's on the menu? Well, I want Taco Bell.

So Taco Bell. Damn, okay, I guess that'll work. I was hoping for something else though. And what's that? You were supposed to say me when I asked what was on the menu. It would have been great, but Taco Bell is fine. Damn, I don't know how I missed that one. I said it in your lap. Well then, it sounds like I should come sitting your lap to make up for it. Still gonna get Taco Bell first though. I have my priorities. Here's a life pro tip for you OP.

Try to have sexy time before the Taco Bell, not after. That was our slash tinder, and if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put on your Reddit podcast episodes every single day.