rSlash - r/Topposts I Accidentally Got Married 🤷

Episode Date: May 25, 2024

0:00 Intro 0:08 Accidental engagement 2:10 Step out then 4:21 Terrible dude 5:44 Comment 6:20 Ghosted 10:58 Top comment 12:02 Farted on a date guys side 14:01 Girls perspective Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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That's dairy farming forward. Welcome to r slash top posts where OP accidentally gets married. Our next reddit post comes from r slash confessions. I accidentally got engaged and married. I had been dating my girlfriend for about four years and I took her out for dinner on Valentine's Day one year. I had purchased a nice piece of jewelry that I wanted to give her to show her how thoughtful I was.

It was a ring from an antique store that cost $500. This was a big spend for Valentine's Day, but I thought that it would be a great effort. We sat down to dinner and I handed her the little gift bag with the ring without saying anything. She opened it and exclaimed, Oh my god, yes! Before I knew what was happening, the waiter was bringing us complimentary champagne and the whole restaurant was applauding. She called her mother from the

table and apparently I was engaged. I didn't say anything because I was a bit shell shocked and I still couldn't wrap my head around what had just happened. After a couple of weeks, I figured I would just roll with it and we got married several months later. For 15 years, my wife would complain to her friends how I didn't say a word when I proposed and I would always joke that no words can capture the depth of love that I have for you and that my silence was the most poetic proposal of all time. I planned on taking this secret to my grave because I thought that it would break her heart.

In a moment of honesty a few months ago, I decided to let her in on what happened. She was a bit miffed and I think she's still a bit hurt, but I think it's such a great story and it all worked out perfectly anyways. We've been married for 15 years and it was the best mistake I ever made. Looking back, it was definitely an engagement ring that I'd purchased, even though I would have never given such a small diamond during a proposal. I did upgrade that small diamond to something more appropriate for a modern engagement after only a few months of being engaged.

OP, this is a sweet story, but what did you expect my dude? You were dating her for 4 years and you gave her a ring on Valentine's Day? What other interpretation could she have possibly had? Our next reddit post is from throwaway timely. I'm a 37 year old man and my wife is 35. My wife said that I can go see a hooker if I want a passionately hug. We've been married for 8 years, together for 2. We've always had a really good love life, until our child was born 3 years ago. I of course understand that passionate hugging isn't going to be the same after a child,

especially since we don't have any family to help in this country. She went through some terrible postpartum depression which we worked on overcoming together. For the first 18 months after our child was born, we had no intercourse. During those last 18 months, her depression has improved and we make it a point to get a babysitter and go on at least one date a month. We've also occasionally had intercourse, like once in a couple of months. Again, no complaints from me. I love her and I understand that she might need time.

We went on vacation last week after her parents agreed to babysit during their visit here. She was super excited and said that she couldn't wait to be with me and for us to have, in her words, a lot of sex again. It was a three day vacation and on the first night, she said that she didn't feel like it. On the second night, she said, nope, not feeling it. I was a bit disappointed, which she picked up on immediately. She asked what was wrong, and I said, nothing, let's just watch TV.

Then she said, you know that I've changed. I don't know when I'm going to want to have intercourse like before again. If you want intercourse, go see a hooker, I don't care. I was taken aback by that and said that I would never do that. She said, okay, whatever and was visibly upset for the rest of our trip. We got back yesterday and she said that she didn't want to talk about it. I'm kinda sad and I want to convey to her that I love her and I don't see her just for intercourse.

I told her that, but she didn't seem to think that it was genuine. OP, that is one of the most obvious traps I have ever heard. Do not fall for it. I mean, it doesn't sound like you're going to fall for it, but clearly that was meant to some kind of like angry, depressed jab than anything actually constructive. Sounds like your wife is really going through something, OP. I don't know. I hope she gets therapy or something. Our next Reddit post comes from r slash ask feminists. What's the line between respecting a woman's opinion and helping her when her opinion is wrong?

As the only male presence for a friend of mine, I feel the responsibility to make sure that she's doing fine. She's a lesbian, so having no males around hasn't been a big problem for her, but I think that it's unhealthy in the long term to cut off the opposite sex completely from her life. She's now manifesting some symptoms of her being asocial and having some issues in general with relationships. She feels uncomfortable that I kiss her, touch her, hug her in a very normal friendly way, and that once someone mistook me for her boyfriend, I'm trying to gently push her

to get used to my presence and see that there's nothing wrong in having relationships with men. She's under the impression that she can't really be a friend with a straight man because he'll try to passionately hug her. So where do I draw the line between doing my job and helping her and respecting her boundaries? She mentioned feminism so I'm asking here. I'm always very sweet and kind to her,

so I'm hoping this will make her more comfortable. Oh, this guy is kissing and touching and hugging her in a very normal, completely normal friendly way. I have to wonder, do you think this guy hugs and kisses and touches his male friends in the same normal friendly way? No? Well then, maybe you're trying to sexualize your lesbian friend, dude. Also OP added this comment, But isn't it unhealthy on some level to be socially isolated from half of society?

Also I read that a woman's period is affected and lines up when they're closely around a male, and I think to have nobody in her life will mess with her biology and hormones. I'm not an expert here, but I think there are many reasons why she would benefit from even just being around me. Honestly, this guy seems like one of those dudes who believes that lesbians aren't really lesbians, they're just mad at men and they just need to wait for the right guy with the right dick to come around and fix her opinion. Our next reddit post comes from r slash relationship advice. I'm a 24 year old woman and my boyfriend is 26. My boyfriend of 7 years completely ghosted me out of the blue. It feels completely unreal.

I'm 24 and I've been with this guy since I was 17. That's a quarter of my life. Basically my whole adult life. He's the first and only person I've slept with. Nothing happened to cause him to ghost me. We didn't have an argument. We had a great relationship, at least in my opinion. One day we were cuddling on the couch and the next I can't get a hold of him.

He blocked me on everything. I was so worried at first. My first thoughts were that he was hurt or dead or in a horrible accident. I only learned from a mutual friend that he basically moved halfway across the country, but at least he's still alive. He just doesn't want to talk to me. It's been three weeks now, what do I even do? Do I travel to him? I don't even know where to go.

Do I give him time? I hope I'm not appearing like an overly obsessive girlfriend, but what the heck? Seven years! I need closure even if it's just, you're ugly, I never loved you, I found someone else. Anything! Am I expecting too much? I can't just discard seven years like a used yogurt cup. Maybe I did something wrong, but I don't know what it could be without him telling

me. I didn't cheat on him, I've always tried to be kind and caring. I wasn't a financial burden either. I paid for my own things and paid for half of everything. I'm trying to think of all the things that I could have done wrong. I had a terrible childhood. I was abused and I still have some scars from cutting myself. Maybe he thought that I was ugly from the scars or too depressed and sad at times, but he could have told me, I would have understood.

He and our mutual friend both blocked me now and I'm not getting any answers. I'm just sad and confused and I don't know what to do. Then about one week later, OP posted an update. So after 4 weeks, he contacted me again and we agreed to talk face-to-face at my place. What he told me what happened was that he simply panicked and ran away. Apparently, I was asking too many questions about the future. If he ever wanted to get married, what he thought about kids, etc. I also pushed him a lot to finally finish his degree and get a job. His main source of income

are still his parents. He said that he couldn't handle it and he saw his life as being over and he needed to get away from it all. Then he started blaming his friend who convinced him that he was wasting his twenties on just one girl. That same friend apparently also got him a job which is why he moved hundreds of miles away. That job didn't work out and he got fired after a few weeks. I guess that's why he's back now. I asked him why he didn't at least talk to me and how hurt and worried I was. He said that he didn't want to make me cry and he didn't really want to break up. He wanted to prove that he could succeed at that job and then come back to me. Overall, a lot was said.

We talked for two hours, but that's the gist of it. He must have apologized like a hundred times, telling me how stupid he was to let his friends influence him. One of his kindergarten-like logic points stuck with me. He said, We never broke up. I never said that I wanted to break up. We just took a break.

In my mind that was like he said, ha, you didn't say uno, so we're still together. He basically promised me heaven on earth if we got back together. Breakfast in bed every morning, he'd do all the chores, what have you. He also swore that there was nobody else, that he slept with nobody else. In the end, he asked if he could stay because he hasn't been paid from that job and he used all of his money and he has nowhere else to go. His parents live too far away and he's on bad terms with that friend who got him the job.

I felt a bit bad, but I told him no, that I need to process and think about everything. I did however agree to store some of his stuff just to free up space in his car. So that's where I'm at now, sitting alone in my apartment with his boxes. One of them smells really bad, like moldy clothes. Maybe I'll wash those tomorrow for him at least. Now I need to think about what to do with all this, what to do with myself. Part of me still loves him. We had so many great moments together before that.

He helped me through a lot. He helped me get away from my abusive mother and my stepfather. The top post from Specialist After says, If the job worked out, he would have never come back. And I'm inclined to agree. But what's really strange to me here is you guys were together for seven years and during that entire seven year relationship, you guys never talked about marriage or babies once? Not even once?

I'm personally very like pro-monogamy and pro-marriage, so maybe I'm super skewed here. But to me, waiting more than like 6 months to have a conversation, hey, are you planning on getting married someday? Like, we don't have to get married soon, but I just want to know, are you the type of person who wants to get married someday? Not having that conversation within 6 months of starting to date is kind of crazy to me. And lasting a full 7 years without even once stopping to discuss your

future is just straight up bonkers to me. I mean, what did this guy expect that you would just casually date forever? No big deal, just Netflix and chill for like 40 years straight. Okay guys, we have a really interesting story here. This is two separate posters who are both posting their version of the exact same event. This story comes from Retail Degenerate. I accidentally farted on a first date and she walked out in the middle of dinner. I met this girl a couple of weeks ago and I've never hit it off with anyone like this. She was extremely attractive, funny, we loved the same things and everything was perfect.

However, she kept mentioning all of her pet peeves, some of which are unforgivable and instant deal-breakers. Our first date was this past Saturday night. I made a reservation at a hard-to-get hole in the wall that's literally a tourist attraction in my town in Louisiana. It's a perfect spot for a quiet dinner. That quietness would become a detriment to my dating life. I had been gassy all day for no reason at all. It was one of those days. However, the farts weren't noisy or smelly, so I didn't think much about it.

We were talking and having a great time when I tried to ease one out, and for some reason, it was an audible, CLEAR fart noise. In a desperate attempt to lie my way out of this mishap, I quickly said, that's not what it sounds like, I promise you, it was my chair. The night's conversational focus has now shifted towards the unidentified noise. Her whole demeanor changed, and there was no more laughs, jokes, smiles, nothing. One of her aforementioned pet peeves had surfaced. The night was effectively over.

In a last ditch effort to recover, we decided on trying to recreate the fart noise with the chair. If I could somehow achieve this, I had a chance. Although slim to none, a chance nonetheless. Long story short, I could not recreate the fart noise by scooting the chair around and our now delivered food was getting cold. She accused me of being a farting liar and left. It's now Monday morning and I still haven't heard from her as I lie here and post about my gastric misfortunes. Believe it or not, this was the short version. Is there a chance for us or is she out? Should I have taken ownership of the fart? Thoughts?

This guy and I hit it off after a few weeks of talking, so I agreed to go on a date with him. He was very funny, intelligent, and cute to name just a few. We were getting to know one another. We discussed things that we love, hate, and annoyances from a relationship standpoint. So far, nothing crazy. I told him that I don't tolerate dishonesty, I don't like feed, and I don't like bathroom talk. Fast forward to our date and everything

is going well. We get our drinks and appetizers. He got some kind of bean soup as an appetizer. He was slurping it out of the bowl, which didn't really bother me. It was just noticeable. Dinner comes out, and he lets out the loudest, rankest fart that I have ever had the displeasure of witnessing and I work in healthcare. Honestly, he looked so embarrassed. I was going to ignore it and continue with dinner. That is, until he practically yelled, I didn't fart! It was the chair! The chair farted, not me! I promise, I didn't fart! So I said, it's okay, just please stop saying that and lower your voice. Y'all, I kid you not, this man starts scooting around on the chair and telling me he'll prove

to me that he didn't fart and to just listen for the chair. This went on for a solid 5 minutes with people staring at us. I was so embarrassed and he would not let it go. I finally just got up and left. He left me several voicemails afterwards telling me how dramatic I was for leaving over a squeaky chair and how ridiculous my pet peeves were. I never responded to him and then I found out about his reddit post. Can y'all blame a gal for walking out? Well, OP, I don't blame her for leaving you. You are, after all, a farting liar objectively. That was our Slash Top Post from Reddit.

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