rSlash - r/Topposts I Spanked My Patient

Episode Date: August 19, 2024

0:00 Intro 0:08 Booty smack 1:50 Comment 2:35 Wrong type of drugs 10:32 Prank 14:53 Tragedy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Your mom hates it when you leave six half-full glasses on your nightstand. It's a good thing mom lives on the other side of the country. And it's an even better thing that you can get six IKEA 365 plus glasses for just $9.99. So go ahead, you can afford to hoard because IKEA is priced for student life. Shop everything you need for back to school at IKEA today. Welcome to r slash top posts where OP's girlfriend is a crazy abuser. Our next reddit post is from CrumbsandCookies. Today I effed up by giving a prostate exam and smacking his butt afterwards.

This happened a few hours ago. I'm a 29 year old woman who works as a general practitioner. Earlier today I had a 56 year old male patient complaining of difficulty urinating. So as his primary care physician, I'm obliged to perform proper history and a physical exam. For context, if you're not in the medical field, difficulty urinating is one of the signs and symptoms of benign prosthetic enlargement, which is usually seen in men older than 50s. So it's routine to perform a digital rectal exam slash prostate exam to check if it's causing an obstruction of the urethra.

And for those who don't know, that means sticking a finger up his butt. So I did the routine physical exam, asked for his consent to perform the procedure, and proceeded to do a rectal exam where, in fact, his prostate is bigger than the usual size. After the exam, I asked him to put his pants back on and sit on the chair so that I could explain the next steps. As I explained this, my brain shut off and my reflexes kicked in and I smacked my patient's butt as he stood up to put his pants on. We both froze. I said my apologies and he just joked, you don't know how to properly spank an ass.

Too long didn't read. I want the floor to swallow me whole. OP what I want to know is why is your reflex to automatically spank a butt whenever you see one? At the very least please tell me you took off your gloves before spanking them. Also down in the comments, we have a couple of funny stories. Grizzle Adam says, I was having some urinary oddities and I decided to have my prostate checked.

The doctor was putting some EXTREME pressure on my prostate during the test and it felt like I was going to pee on the exam table. So I said, Jesus, I feel like I'm about to dribble on your table. He immediately stopped and said, and we're done here. I think he misinterpreted what I meant. I cringe so hard every time it comes to mind and he never even sent my results. Then this story from Cheap Drinks. I decided to break the ice during my first prostate exam.

Just as he was about to go in, I said, Hey, aren't you gonna buy me dinner first? He laughed, I laughed, then he stuck his finger in my butt. Our next reddit post comes from rslash off my chest. My mother-in-law set up an intervention for my drug use and she got arrested. My husband Mike and I don't have much contact with his family because they have some different beliefs about many things, and it's caused us to get into some disagreements in the past. Especially with Mike's mom, Karen. This time, Karen started something that will cause her to no longer see her son and I think she may be

in a lot of legal trouble. A few years ago, at the age of 34, I had to have an organ transplant. I had been on the waiting list for a while. I was informed long before the transplant that I would need to be on anti-rejection drugs for the rest of my life, as well as other medications to support my life after the transplant. Going off these medications would cause my painful death. So we recently decided that we would try to give Karen and Mike's younger siblings another chance to be in our lives because Mike's cancer returned. It's very treatable, but it made

us think about how important family is. We had them come and stay for a week. Everything was going well enough, but my life is lived by a strict schedule of alarms going off every so many hours to remind me to take my needed medication six times a day. No matter what's going on, I stop the second the alarm goes off and I take my pills. His mother complained and said that it's rude that I stopped mid-conversation to take the pills. I get it, she's not used to that, but if I forget to take the pills or I'm late, it's a problem. I'm on medications that I can't take within so many hours of other medications. She even said, you must be getting the good drugs if you can't wait an extra second to get those pills in you. I tried to explain that none of my medications are for pain

and they don't get me high. I tried to explain that I'm forgetful and the alarms are the only way that I can be sure that I took my pills even though they're in an organizer. Mike and I had to go out yesterday leaving his mom and his siblings alone at our house. When we got back, all the dining room and kitchen chairs were in the living room in a circle facing each other. Karen, her kids, my husband's grandparents, and my neighbors whom I hardly know were all sitting in the chairs with two chairs left for me and Mike. Karen asked if we would come in and sit down. We did. She started off by saying that they

were all there because I was clearly addicted to drugs and they would help me get off them. Mike immediately stood up and asked what the hell she was talking about. She explained how I was clearly addicted to my medication and I was abusing it. My husband told his mom that she knows I need my transplant medications or I'll go into organ rejection and die. Karen said, No, that's not true. You need to stop the drugs cold turkey and we'll all help you. I started crying and hyperventilating. I was so upset. I know that I'll die without these medications and I have panic attacks if I misplace them. My husband told his mom to get out. His brother stood between Mike and their mom and started

screaming about how I'm just a junkie. In the middle of all the yelling, I jumped up and ran to where I keep my meds, which is in a box on the bookcase in our living room. I opened the box and all my meds were gone. I screamed to Mike to call the police. Mike looked at me and could see the box where I keep my medication is empty. Mike pushed his brother aside and grabbed his mom's purse and started going through it, but none of my medications were there. Our neighbor, who again, I hardly know, called the police to our address. Mike, Karen, and Mark's brother and sister were all just shouting, and I was just numb. My medication organizer kept a week's worth of medications, and each day I could pull a few days worth of meds out and keep them with me. I know I had pills until 6pm that night,

but at 6am the next morning, I would need more. When the cops arrived, Karen tried to say that I was using illegal drugs, so she took them and that we were getting violent. I grabbed the folder that I keep under the box of pills that has all of my medical records, including copies of my prescriptions. I told the cops that I needed my husband and I to speak privately to them. One officer agreed to come with Mike and I to another room. Mike explained that the drugs his mother was accusing me of taking were anti-rejection medication and that his mother took my medication and he has no idea what she did with them.

I also showed the cop my medical records about what drugs they were and gave them the number for my transplant team coordinator who could verify all of this. I told them this was very serious and I would need my medications again in about 15 hours. Karen was questioned and it turns out they threw all my medications in a bag and threw them in a dumpster of a restaurant because I didn't need them. I really lost it. One of my meds cost $2000 a month and the other 14 meds cost between $10 and $200. The cops asked if I wanted to press charges on Karen.

My husband immediately said yes and I also said yes. I also said that I wanted all those people to leave and if they didn't, I wanted them trespassed. The cops offered to send someone to look in the dumpster for my pills. I told them they could try, but I have a very compromised immune system and I am wary of taking meds from a dumpster. They understood that. They think that my insurance will pay for replacement medicine with a copy of a police

report. I called my transplant team coordinator and she's helping me with coupons to get small amounts of my medication in the meantime for a very low cost. Karen's husband, who didn't come along on this visit, called and told my husband that he needed to bail his mother out of jail now. We are not doing that! Any money that we could spend on her bail, we would rather spend on getting my replacement meds. If we have to pay for this medication out of pocket, then we surely will be suing Karen for these costs. This is just a vague recollection of what happened yesterday, but it's kind of a blur. I did get enough pills to last a week, thanks

to strings being pulled by my transplant coordinator. Okay, OP, I think I can get a sense for why your husband doesn't like to talk to his family. Okay, it's kind of becoming clear. I think I get a vibe for why that is. At the very minimum, this is theft. That's one crime. We also learned on a recent episode, a very similar story actually, that tampering with someone's medication is also a felony.

So we have that crime. But also, I've got to wonder, for real real guys at what point can you also add attempted murder? slash Manslaughter to the charge, you know, because if someone needs medicine to live and you steal the medicine Isn't that kind of like killing them? Does that count as attempted murder? I actually don't know the answer to this Oh also, I just saw a random comment pointing out that it's also defamation because she's going around the neighborhood spreading a verifiable lie.

So is that really a crime? It's a thing you can sue over in private court, but I don't know if that's like a... Do you go to jail for defamation? I don't think you do. I think you just sue for it. Yeah, a lot of people in the comments are saying this is attempted murder. I guess this is up to a prosecutor or like a DA to the side. I really don't know. Any lawyers out there? Does this count as attempted murder? My guess would be no because this is a really stupid defense.

I think, honest to God, they're too stupid for it to be attempted murder because attempted murder you have to like know what you're doing. I think you have to have intent like I'm going to go kill this person. But Karen is actually so dumb, just so like she just has such a room temperature IQ that she doesn't even understand that what she's doing is dangerous. So I think if OP did die from this, it would just be manslaughter, which is when you kill someone accidentally, I think. Lawyers, please help me out in the comments. I'd love to know. I guess one thing we can all agree on is that Karen is criminally stupid. Our next Reddit post is from rslashdrewoffmychest.

I ruined my brother's life over a dumb prank. I'm a 23 year old woman and I've generally gotten along with my brother, who's 28, and his girlfriend, who's also 28. Though I don't think that my sister-in-law has ever really liked me. She moved in with my family when she was 17, and back then my brother and I would have the typical sibling fights over things like food and the Xbox. She always took my brother's side in these arguments, but I figured that we'd all move past that since we're adults now.

Despite her snarkiness towards me, I've always tried to ignore it. I recently came home from college to celebrate my 23rd birthday with friends and family. The night before my birthday, we had a family dinner where my brother brought up a childhood memory of a shared birthday party when I was eight. I had gotten mad that he blew out the candles before me, so I playfully wiped a bit of cake on his nose. We all laughed about it as a fond memory, and there's even a framed picture of it in our parents' living room. The only one who didn't laugh was my sister-in-law. The night of my birthday party, everyone was there.

My friends, family friends, my parents, my brother, and my sister-in-law. After I blew out the candles, I suddenly felt someone grab a fistful of my hair and try to shove my face into the cake. I struggled to stand as my brother's girlfriend was pulling my hair so hard. People were yelling at her to stop. Even my mom tried to pull her off me. But she shoved my mom backwards. My brother was also telling her to stop.

She then grabbed the back of my neck and used her weight to push me down. Her nails dug into my skin, drawing blood. I'd had enough and, in pain and frustration, turned around and punched her as hard as I could. She fell backwards, crying, and then ran out of the room, silent. My brother apologized, saying that he didn't know why she did that. My mom was mortified, insisting that if it had been a joke, she wouldn't have been so rough. The dad was angry because she had drawn blood with her nails, and the cake had skewers in it to keep it upright.

He had made the cake. My best friend got me a cloth to wipe the blood off my neck. My parents made everyone leave, and my brother eventually went home too. Later that night, my sister-in-law texted me saying that she was going to sue me and press charges, claiming that I couldn't take a joke and that she was just getting payback for my brother. I sent a screenshot of the text to my brother who responded with, WTF? Around midnight, he came to our parents' house looking really sad.

They've been together for a long time and I feel like I ruined everything. I keep getting texts from her. The most recent one was her blaming me, saying that I ruined a relationship over a joke and that I should have just let her push my head into the cake. She keeps saying that it would have just been funny. This morning, my brother and I were eating the leftover ruined cake, and he smudged a little bit of cake on my nose to get even, but I can tell that he's really sad. I don't like to see my brother like this. I feel like I ruined everything. Everything was so perfect

before this happened. If I could take this back, I would, but my brother has done so much for me, and I gave him this. I ruined his life. OP, I read a story on Reddit a while ago. I don't think I published a video about it. This was just my personal free time browsing Reddit. It was a story very similar to this where someone had smashed someone else's face into a cake and that cake had some sort of like wooden like spike or beam or support

structure in the cake and literally killed the friend. Literally just impaled their skull into the spike causing massive brain damage and the person died. So this was extremely dangerous, irresponsible and even if the cake didn't have spikes in it, and it did have spikes in it, but even if it didn't, this is still just disrespectful and cruel and she's getting revenge over what? A silly child? It's not even a prank. It was just that's like cute. That's a cute thing that family does to each other is squish a little bit of frosting on someone else's nose or their cheek. I did it to my daughter when she was, I think her first birthday party. We have a nice picture of cake

on her forehead and cheeks because I put it on there on her first birthday. It's adorable! It's not evil! And she was trying to avenge that wrong and right the scales of justice? Yo, this girlfriend is crazy. Our next reddit post comes from r slash confessions. I'm a 25 year old guy and my girlfriend is also 25. We met during our second year of university. We were in a lecture together and she asked if I could sit next to me. She was the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen, so of course I said yes. She started asking my name,

what course I was taking, where I was from, etc. I'm a very shy and timid person and this was the first time that a pretty girl had ever really spoken to me. So by the time our lecturer arrived, my mind was racing about her. The lecture finished and she said that it was nice to meet me and walked away, leaving me frustrated that I didn't have the courage to ask her out. For the next three weeks, she sat next to me and we talked more until I finally asked if she wanted to go over our notes together sometime. To my surprise, she actually said yes. For our final two years of university, we were almost inseparable. Our third year together, we were long distance because she lived 300 miles away from me, which caused a few issues to pop up.

She started to get a little jealous of my work friends because they would go out to bars most Fridays. We could only see each other one weekend every month due to our schedules, but every time she visited she would always ask if any new women started in the office or if anyone had been hitting on me when we went out as a group. The answer was always no, but I didn't mind because I'd never had anyone love me so much they got jealous and protective over me. This went on for 8 months until she suggested that I look for a job nearer to her so that we could live together as a real couple. It took 5 months for me to find a job, but I did and I moved in with her leaving my friends

and family behind. The next few months were great and we were finally a real couple. It was like we fell in love all over again. But that's when everything changed. The new office that I worked in was quite small with a really friendly team of people that treated each other like family. My girlfriend told me that I couldn't go out with them like I did with the people from my old job because she wanted me to spend that time with her.

My parents weren't allowed to come visit us because she said that it would be easier for us to travel down to them, but then we never did. A few months down the line, a new girl, who was 28, joined our team and I friended her on Facebook like I did everyone else in the office. When my girlfriend found out that I was Facebook friends with the new girl, my girlfriend went crazy. She threw her phone at me and started yelling at me, calling me a cheater. It took hours to calm her down and explain that everyone was friends with each other and that I wasn't cheating on her. It all rapidly got worse after this.

I had to show her my messages each night after work to prove that I wasn't talking to anybody else. She would start arguments over the smallest things like putting a mug in the wrong spot in the cupboard or getting an Amazon delivery without telling her. What? An Amazon delivery? She would throw things at me from magazines or a phone to food and even a small potted plant because it wasn't the right one, which shattered and cut me so bad

that I needed stitches. She began punching my arms, chest and back. The worst incident was when after an argument she… Jesus Christ! She accidentally ran my foot over with her car, breaking three bones, and I had to wear a giant boot for three months. I lied and told everyone that I dropped a paving slab on my foot while rearranging our garden.

I never told anyone what was going on, because I was embarrassed that someone half my size was able to hurt me like that and that I couldn't stop it. And I was ashamed that even after everything she had done to me, I still loved her. She was my whole world. But it all ended in March. I was working from home one day when she came into our office and started hitting me, calling me a thieving piece of garbage plus other terrible names because she couldn't find her phone and she thought that I had stolen it.

After a few minutes she left to calm down, but what she obviously didn't realize was that I was in a Zoom meeting with my boss, a 58 year old guy. He saw the whole thing and just sat there in shock. He told me to leave my place immediately and meet him at work. I got to work where my boss was waiting outside and he took me up to his office. I broke down crying as I explained to him everything that had been going on. After I finished, he hugged me tight and said that he had no idea that I was going through so much but that it needed to stop now.

He drove me to the police station and helped me file a report against my girlfriend and he told me that I'd be staying with him and his wife until I felt safe. Wow, big W from the boss! My girlfriend was arrested for questioning and then released the next morning. She began blowing up my phone with text messages and voicemails saying that I'd ruined her life and that she was so mad that she'd be staying with her parents for a while. The police took her in for questioning again while she was at her parents, which led to them finding out what was actually happening. Then everything was quiet for almost a week, until I got a call from her parents telling me

that my girl- oh, that my girlfriend had ended her life after being questioned again and that she was now dead. I was heartbroken. We had so many plans for the future that now will never happen. Even after everything she'd done to me, I still loved her. I wanted her to get help so that she could get better, not die. It's been four months now and I'm back living with my parents but I still cry myself to sleep every night and have nightmares. If I had been a bit stronger, I wouldn't have told my boss everything. I never would have gone to the police and she'd still be alive. I feel so guilty and it's all my fault that she's gone forever.

Man, OP was abused so heavily that he's still suffering the psychological effects of it 4 months after the abuser is dead. This girl really had a grip on OP. Man, good thing the boss in this story is a decent boss. Typically, every single time a boss shows up in one of these videos, he's just some general run-of-the-mill scumbag, but this guy really had OP's back. That was our Slash Top post from Reddit, and if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.