rSlash - r/Trueoffmychest My 10 Year-Old-Daughter Isn't Mine

Episode Date: February 17, 2023

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I got together with my wife about 15 years ago. She came with a pre-made family of a daughter and two boys. Then in October of 2012, she got pregnant. We weren't trying to conceive, but we weren't actively trying to prevent it either. The date of conception seemingly matched up, and a beautiful baby girl was born on August of 2013. I've been led to believe until this last Saturday that she was a hundred percent mine, and I never questioned it.

But over the weekend, I took my steps on to a show choir event, and I met up with an old friend from around the time of my daughter's birth. A friend I met through my wife. This friend and I had a few drinks, and she said that she needed to get something off her chest that she's been holding secret for years and told me everything. I was shocked to say the least. The next day I called and confronted my wife, and initially she denied it, but she admitted to passionately hugging with the actual father. I hung up on her, and I had three hours to drive home with my son, all the while ignoring her calls.

When I got home, she pulled me aside away from the kids and confessed everything. This little girl is my world, and I do not have any intention of turning my back on her. It's not her fault that this happened, but her mother now wants me to try to move past her indiscretion and stay together, stating that what we've built since is strong, and I shouldn't tell my daughter about this because the real father has had no intention of being a part of her life. I don't think I can forgive her for this. It's too big.

I am so angry right now at her and all of her friends that knew but kept silent. I can't leave because I don't want her to state that I abandoned my family. I'm afraid that if I do keep this secret from my daughter, that she'll one day find out and hate me for it. If I stay, I can't talk to anyone about it. They'll be confused and astounded that I stuck around, and it would make me feel like less of a man. I could bottle it up and let it eat me up and then rage quit my life. Yeah, Opie, there's for sure no coming back from this man.

There's no coming back from it. After your wife cheated, lied to you, and forced you to raise a kid that you thought was yours but isn't, I don't even know how you could look at her anymore. Also regarding telling your daughter, I know some people don't agree with me but this is something that I personally really, really value and believe in, is I think every single person on earth has a fundamental right to know who their parents are. And I think denying someone that right is inherently evil. So the truth isn't about you, it's not about your wife, it's not about your marriage, it's about your daughter, your daughter deserves

to know the truth. But as painful as it might be to tell her the truth, your daughter has a right to know who her biological father is. Anyways, good luck OP, your wife really did you dirty. Our next reddit post is from Leading Sir. I live in a big city in my own apartment. My girlfriend, Lily, lives with her roommates, but if I'm being honest, she basically lives over here 80% of the time. Early yesterday, while I was at the gym with my friend, Mike, she texted me that she had an old friend that she hadn't seen in a while that's in town, and that it would be nice to have a quiet place to catch up. I said they could use my apartment, and that I'd go out for dinner with Mike so they'd have time to catch up. During this time, I was at the

gym. Since I was at the gym, I was in a rush. I didn't ask who she was inviting over. Well, apparently I should have, because the old friend she was apparently catching up with alone in my apartment was her only ex-boyfriend, Kyle. Around 30 minutes later, I got a text from her saying they're at my apartment. I just said, bet and continued working out with my friend. Mike and I finished our work at around 7 p.m., and decided we would go to Whole Foods because their hot salad bars have some great food.

We ate there and finished around 8.30. I was on my way home, and honestly, I wasn't expecting anything other than just saying hi and heading to bed. It had been a long day, and honestly, I was just ready to get some sleep. I arrived home at 9pm, and at this point, I had no idea if her friend was still over or not. I was secretly hoping they weren't, because I didn't feel like socializing at all, but hey, I'll take one for the team. When I walked in the apartment, I see some huge Timberland boots that obviously belonged

to a man. I immediately thought, shoot, her friend brought her boyfriend along, so now I have to stay up and socialize. As I enter the living area, I see my girlfriend sitting on the couch with a man at separate ends, but staring right at each other talking. My girlfriend notices me and jumps a little. At this point, I'm still completely oblivious. I say hello and start walking towards him.

I'm looking around the house at this point for her friend. Honestly, I just thought she was in the bathroom or something. I shake the guy's hand and say something like, hi, I'm Lily's boyfriend. He replied back in a cocky way saying, I'm Kyle, Lily's ex. I was like, oh, my fault. I thought you were her friend's boyfriend. Then it got a little quiet. And I rapidly came to the realization that my girlfriend had been alone with her ex in my apartment for the last couple hours. I look at my girl and say, so I'm taking this was your old friend. She said, yeah, in a soft voice. At this point, I wasn't

letting myself jump to any conclusions, but I'm tired and don't feel like socializing. I'm also now upset that my girl was just chilling with her ex in my apartment. It got quiet again, and those two made zero effort to continue whatever conversation they were having just upset that my girl was just chilling with her ex in my apartment. It got quiet again. And those two made zero effort to continue whatever conversation they were having just moments ago. Lily asked how my day was, and I was like, it was fine, I guess. Again, getting the vibe that I was interrupting something. At this point, I'm fed up, so I look at Kyle and say, hey, do you mind ending it here for today? I actually have some things to talk to Lily about. He said, she invited me over though and we're still

reminiscing on the good old days. I look at Lily and she can't even look me in my eyes. I look back at Kylin's say, okay, let me rephrase, this is my apartment and I'm telling you to leave. He then looks at her and says, do you want me to leave? At this point, I'm not proud of it and I completely lose my cool, saying what the F do you mean by that? I don't give an F if she wants you to leave or not, I'm telling you to get the F out of my house. Lily tells me to calm down, turn and tell Kyle that he needs to leave.

Kyle gets up and hits towards the hallway to get his stuff. I follow him and he ends up leaving. I came back and now Lillius pissed at me saying that I embarrassed her. I embarrassed you? She then goes on about how my reaction is totally uncalled for because she told me that he was coming over and asked. I was like, no, Lillie, you said an effing friend was coming over and asked. I was like, no, Lily, you said an f-ing friend was coming over, an f-ing friend. Not once did you mention this friend was a guy, much less you're f-ing x. She then said my reaction was BS and that I acted like a douchebag. I told her that you're with your f-ing x in my apartment. Do you not understand how much of an f- you that comes across as? I then asked, why are you even meeting in the first place?

And she tells me that he's going through rough times and he needs someone to lean on. She said that she just wanted to be there for him because he's a nice person and that by hanging with him in my apartment it shows nothing shady is going on. I explained how that was BS and that if my ex started having issues and I was the one comforting her, she would be pissed. She was like, no, she'd understand because she has empathy. I said that was BS because you got pissed at me at the gym because I smiled when a girl complimented my form when lifting.

She then said that she was done talking and stormed out. I didn't say anything. I didn't chase her. I haven't reached out. I just sat on the couch and thought about what the F just happened. I then called my dad who gave me some great advice. Then she texted me two hours ago. Can we talk? I'm sorry for not telling you that it was my ex that I invited over. I don't want you to get the wrong idea. Nothing happened. Nothing's going to happen. I love you. He messaged me out of the blue and he needed someone to talk to.

I didn't think that much of it. I'm sorry for deceiving you. I wanted to talk to him at your place because I didn't want you to assume that something else was going on. Please talk to me. I love you. Then OP ends the post by saying that he's not sure what to do, but he's leaning towards breaking up with her. I like this top post from Slow Bra. This is messed up man, don't worry OP, you'll be laughing about all this with her in a few years on her next boyfriend's couch.

Hell, Kyle might even be there too. OP, I'm with ya, if I were in your shoes, I'd break up with her too. She didn't want to meet her ex in your apartment because she went into a void the appearance of something shady happened. She wanted to meet in your apartment because in her place, she has roommates, and if she screwed her ex, her roommates would know. But if she meets him at your apartment, then she can do whatever she wants and no one there to witness it.

OP, if you ask me, a line's been crossed and there's no coming back from that. Metrolinx and cross links are reminding everyone to be careful, as Eglinton Cross-Town LRT train testing is in progress. Please be alert, this trains can pass at any time on the tracks. Remember to follow all traffic signals. Be careful along our tracks and only make left turns where it's safe to do so. Be alert, be aware, and stay safe. Our next reddit post is from Lowfield.

I'm a 25 year old woman. Six months ago my fiance, a 28 year old guy, asked if I would be willing to have an open relationship. I agreed. Everything was okay until like 3 months ago when he asked if we could switch from open to poly. I agreed again. He started dating a girl from work and I started dating a guy from my gym. Now this other guy, who's 26, is so different from my fiance. He takes me on dates every week, he brings me flowers and food at work, he texts me just to say hi.

He's sweet and affectionate. My fiance however, we've been together for 4 years. He only gets me flowers from my birthday. He's never affectionate. His idea of a date is playing board games or watching the Witcher. They're very different in bed too. With my fiance, most of the time, it's just a chore. He's fast and rough.

Then he goes to watch TV. My boyfriend, however, is very tender. He takes his time and he checks if I'm enjoying it. He cuddles with me after and brings me snacks. I was talking to my mom about this and she asked me which one makes me happier and I guess it clicked. I like the way my boyfriend treats me while my fiance is more of a roommate at this point. After my talk with my mom, I decided to talk to my fiance as well. I just told him that I wish that he would be more affectionate with me. He

just shrugged and said that he isn't into chick flicks. So I guess I'm gonna break up with my fiance because I don't want to marry a man that never takes me out or buys me flowers or holds my hands. I want someone who shows their emotions. I don't know if me and my boyfriend are going to work out since it's still new, but at least now I know I have options. Then OP posted an update. I was super nervous to have the talk with my fiance, but apparently at dinner it wasn't just us. He invited his parents and didn't tell me.

I wanted to have the conversation with him privately, but his mom started talking about the wedding. She had a bunch of flower arrangements, dresses, and venues printed out, and she was going to buy a dress tomorrow. I got overwhelmed and ended up telling them the wedding was off. I tried to be as gentle as I could, but my fiance freaked out when I gave my reasons. Then he made a scene so we were all kicked out. He left by himself like 10 minutes ago.

I'm still in the parking lot with his parents. They're trying to call him. I'm gonna drive them home. And then I guess I have to get ready for round 2 when I get home. Then OP posted another update. We had a huge fight and he confessed that he only wanted to open the relationship because he wanted to sleep with his coworker without being a cheater. And then he wanted to poly relationship because he developed feelings for her.

Then he called me a B word for dumping him because you're a big baby who needs attention. Apparently I need to grow up because real men don't get emotional. Then Opie posted another update. My now ex-Fianse called and begged me to come home to talk because he's sorry and he didn't mean what he said. And when he started crying, I said, real man, don't get emotional and you can call your girlfriend if you want to talk to someone. Then OP posted another update. I talked with my boyfriend and we're going to close the relationship. He had been thinking about it for a while, but was afraid to ask, so he was happy when

I suggested it. My boyfriend helped me move all the things out of my apartment that I shared with my ex. My ex has called and texted me all night and I blocked him because honestly it kind of scared me. My ex's girlfriend came to see me at work. She was worried that I ended things because of her. We talked a bit, and I assured her that it wasn't because of her. We also talked about my ex, and his lack of showing emotions, and she's now reconsidering

their relationship because she also wants someone to show their love. And she was thinking that he never showed love because the relationship is still new, and she thought in time he would get more comfortable. But after we talked, she wasn't so sure anymore. Every single time I see a Reddit post where one person in a closed relationship says, I want to go to an open relationship, it's because they want to cheat and get away with it. Every single time, like literally, 10 out of 10 times, a hundred out of 100 times. I don't think I've ever come across a Reddit post where someone said, let's open the relationship

and it ended okay. I'm not bashing open relationship necessarily. Like, if you wanna be poly or open, whatever, I'm just saying, it's a pattern in these Reddit posts. Our next Reddit post is from throwaway. My ex-husband and I got divorced three years ago. We didn't have kids, although we wanted them so badly. We knew each other for over 10 years, and we had been through

so much together. He helped me out when my family abandoned me, and quit his job to move with me. He even helped me get my degree, and I never wanted us to divorce. But he was the one to initiate, because he was secretly diagnosed with a medical condition and said that he didn't want to ruin what we had and become a burden. He's very sick now and has asked to see me probably for the last time. My current husband got extremely upset with me when I mentioned it to him and threatened to divorce me if I go.

I'm 5 months pregnant and I feel like I'm seeing a side of my now husband that I've never seen before. He called this inappropriate and said that my ex was being manipulative. He told me he would divorce me if I see my ex, but this could be my last chance to say goodbye to him. I can't even imagine how terrible I would feel if he passes away without seeing him for the last time. But there's a lot at stake here, and I don't want to sneak around behind my husband's

back. Yeah OP, I don't know exactly what the right call here is, but I do agree with you that the right call is to NOT sneak around behind your husband's back. So you have to either accept your husband's ultimatum or fight against it and risk divorce. I'd love to help you OP, but honestly, this is a decision that only you can make. That was our slash true off my chest, and if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.