rSlash - r/Trueoffmychest My Husband Left the Country & Ghosted Me

Episode Date: September 13, 2023

0:00 Intro 0:09 Worst husband 6:19 Brief update 6:43 Big update Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

To support sustainable food production, BHP is building one of the world's most sustainable cottage mines in Canada. Essential resources responsibly produced. It's happening now at BHP, a future resources company. Welcome to R-slash True Off My Chest, where a husband ghosts his six-month pregnant wife, our next reddit post is from anonymous stories. I ignored my husband so much that he went away without telling me. I'm a 30 year old woman and my husband Harry is 31.

I'm 6 months pregnant with me and my husband's first child. During this pregnancy, I've been very exhausted every day and would usually come home from work and go to bed an hour later, then I'd wake up at midnight and reheat with Harry and made us for dinner. For context, I've been part of a huge work project that's been going on for months, and I've been extremely overworked. On top of this, my husband doesn't have a job at the moment, and isn't looking for one unless I remind him. I've been working over time to get as much money as I can before maternity leave. Our anniversary was on the 6th of August, and I'd ask my husband if we could have a romantic

dinner at home and then snuggle up to watch TV under a warm blanket. I thought that this was a wonderful idea since I was too tired to go out and because I knew that Harry was doing most, if not all, of the household chores. However, he seemed a little annoyed when he agreed, but I thought nothing of it. The next However, he seemed a little annoyed when he agreed, but I thought nothing of it. The next morning, Harry seemed quite cold towards me and barely looked me in the eyes. Once I got home from work, he wasn't there, but that was normal since he could have been out with friends or at an interview, so I went to sleep. I woke up at about 11 p.m. that night to see that I was still alone in the house, so I checked my phone.

I had about eight missed calls from Harry and a long text. The text read, I understand how tired you are because of this pregnancy, and you having to work extra hours most days. But I'm over being ignored every day and having a five minute conversation with you every so often. You expect me to do all the housework and plan our boring anniversary alone? I'm really annoyed, so I'm staying at a fring tonight. Text me when you see this. Of course,

I called him and texted him about being sorry and wanting to talk, but I never got an answer. In the morning, I called my boss about having a day off, and I spent most of the day waiting for Harry and planning my apology. However, when he came home, he silently handed me a rose and a card saying that he loves me, but he needs a few days away from me to figure out what he's going to say and do. Then those days became a week. I messaged him every day, and he would constantly say that he needed one more day, or just another night at his friends to figure everything out. But then, eight days after he initially left, I decided to go to that friend's home where

he was staying to confront him. So I drove over 30 minutes away and banged on the door so hard that I could hear an echo from inside. By this point, I realized that I should have put more effort into our relationship. But he also should have talked to me about this instead of just running away. Harry's friend came to the door and was confused, but pleased to see me. He seemed a little on edge as I talked to him, and he had to break the silence every so often with comments about my pregnancy and how he couldn't wait to meet the baby.

Finally we stopped talking, and I practically demanded to see Harry, saying that I wanted to apologize, but also explain how childish he was being by hiding from me. The thing that I found absolutely hilarious, but actually not hilarious at all, was that his friend said that Harry wasn't there at all and that he had left for Ireland 5 days ago. Ireland! To say that I was absolutely beyond furious and extremely confused would be such an understatement. His friend invited me in and sat me down to talk.

It turns out Harry had told his friend of our problems and had come up with the solution of going on a holiday as a couple to sort everything out and learn to love each other again. So of course, his friend thought that this was a lovely idea and helped him book the flight on the evening of the 5th. Coincidentally, that was the first night that Harry stayed at that friend's house. His friend then explained how he had been confused when I arrived at the door, but didn't want to say anything about the holiday in case it had ended early due to us arguing. Harry's return ticket is booked for one week from now.

I'm just so angry and quite heartbroken to be completely honest. I messaged Harry the moment that I found this out and he only responded with, had to figure things out. Sorry. So now I'm home alone, again, and trying to figure out what I'm going to do or say when he gets home. Also, for context, OP lives in the UK, so Ireland is, you know, it's over water, but it's not super far. Also, OP clarifies that her husband is paying for the vacation out of his own pocket. Hey, look, I can sympathize with a guy feeling lonely and kind of ignored because his wife is overworked, tired, and pregnant, and doesn't have much time or energy to invest in the

relationship. But there are healthy ways to deal with this problem, and mysteriously banishing to Ireland for two weeks with no notice is not the way to do that. I mean, Opie is busting her butt while pregnant to provide for her, her unborn child, and her unemployed, uncaring husband, and his response is to just ghost her. What if something happens to the baby? What if she has a miscarriage or a really early birth and she's in the hospital and he's like, oh, I forgot to tell you, I'm drinking Guinness in Ireland, so, uh, sorry, I guess.

And the saddest part of this post is that this guy manipulated OP and making him feel like she had done something wrong. It's like, come on, girl, you're not neglecting him, you're just exhausted because you're working nonstop while pregnant. I really honestly genuinely feel like this is divorce territory. Even if you completely erase the pregnancy angle, I think that just having a husband or a wife just vanish into smoke for two weeks going to another country without even telling the partner is a deal breaker in my opinion.

It's irresponsible, it's uncaring, it's kind of dangerous a little bit. Because if something happened to either one of you, the other person wouldn't even know. Also a lot of people are saying that the husband is probably cheating on OP, which I won't say is definitely the case because we don't really have any hard evidence to support it, but let me just say I wouldn't be surprised at all if that's the case. I mean, hey, maybe he is an Ireland by himself for two weeks. Possible, but not super likely. Also OP posted a very brief update.

I'm not deciding anything until our talk, but I definitely won't be staying in my home with him after this. I can't trust him not to run away again. I've gained some self-respect, and I realize that he's being a butthole so I talked to my mom and she's happy for me to move in with her on the 21st and I'm free to stay with her for as long as I need to. As the world's population grows, so does the need for resources like potash to support sustainable food production. This is why BHP is building one of the world's most sustainable

potash mines in Canada. Essential resources responsibly produced. This is what BHP has committed to Canada. The future is clear. It's happening now at BHP, a future resources company. To discover how, visit BHP.com slash better future. Grab your loved ones and hurry to Swisschallet today. Visit Swisschallet.ca for contest details, while supplies last. And then, OP posted another update, so let's see what happened. For the last few days, Harry's friend has been living with me and helping me through

this. Yo, Harry's friend is more of a husband than Harry is himself. That is awful. Okay, focused Abney. One way that he supported me was that he scheduled a couple an individual counselor for Harry and I. I've also been calling my mom every day since I found out. Also, my counselor, Harry's friend, and my mom all gave me the same advice.

So I scheduled an early maternity leave with a slight bonus to each paycheck because of all my overtime and unpaid help. I officially start my maternity in four days. Yesterday, Harry's friend went to pick up Harry and sent me photos of who he was with as reassurance that it was his sister, Tiffany. To be clear, Tiffany is Harry's sister, not Harry's friend's sister. When they arrived, I prepared dinner and cleaned the downstairs of our home so that we could have a civilized conversation without hunger or distractions to stop us. Harry looked extremely tired, and he seemed to be on the verge of crying the moment that I opened

the door to them all. I was incredibly patient for the sole reason of being able to get through this discussion in one piece, and so when Harry wouldn't speak, I let Tiff explain why she had gone with him. Tiff is a lovely lady who helped me through the few months before my pregnancy. However, Harry didn't stay in close contact with her, and I lost touch with her when the work project started. Because of this, she had no clue about anything going on until Harry called her and said that he had a spare ticket to Ireland.

At first, she was reluctant to go since she knew that I was pregnant, and so she tried to ask why Harry would leave me and whether or not I was with someone who could care for me. Eventually, Harry snapped and told her the real reason of why he was going away, so she joined him to make sure that he knew that it was wrong, but also to help him through all the emotions that he was feeling. Tiff was the reason that Harry came back to me. If she hadn't have gone with him, then Harry admitted that he might have moved to Central London or to a small village in the countryside to hide from this.

It took everything in me not to cry when she admitted that, and I could clearly see the shame on Harry's face. Also, let me rapid fire a couple of clarifying details. One, Harry did use his own money to pay for the tickets. Two, the reason that Harry's friend didn't see who the other ticket was for was because, once they'd found the tickets, Harry's friend had already gone to bid.

Three, Tiffany was by Harry's side, the entire holiday in Ireland, and confirmed that without a doubt, this was not to find a fling. They spent most of their days in the cheapest hotel room possible in silence before Harry started talking about everything. 4.

When we met and married, Harry was a loving, hardworking, job-having man whose only dream was to have a wonderful family, and then retired to one of those cute stone villages in the south of England. After an hour of me and Tiff talking, Harry finally spoke up. Tiff and Harry's friend went to the living room, but I never realized how strange it would feel to be with Harry again. He confessed that he had stopped loving me a month into my pregnancy. He said that it had nothing to do with the fact that I was sick all the time, dirty as a mole, or wouldn't stop talking about the baby. He just didn't have a reason. Since he couldn't think of why he stopped loving me, he assumed that the love would come back in time, that maybe it was some delusion caused by the stress

of the baby on the way. Over time, that love didn't come back, and he started feeling incredibly guilty and alone in everything, which is when he got fired from his job. He originally told me that he got fired because his work performance was belittled by new management, but really, it was because he was too trapped in his feelings to think of anything except for how much he didn't love me. Then, he just never tried to get a job job because sitting at home without me was much better than sitting at work and possibly getting fired again.

He came to love that he had a loan time until the moment that he felt alone. That was when he refused to work just so that he wouldn't have to see me. He wanted to sit and wait and see how long it would take before I came to him. This trip was to test the waters. It was to see if life would be better without me and he still hasn't decided. Yo, this dude. I'm pissed off you guys, this guy's pissing me off. Oh my god.

During this whole explanation, he kept emphasizing how he didn't love me and said that it was like I was a child who needed to hear something a thousand times just to understand it. He never apologized. In a rough way, I was shocked, distraught. If you have a word to describe that awful emotion, then I felt it. I cried, I shouted, I cried again, and we sat in silence until I could talk. Then I told him how I could never trust him again. How could I possibly trust him not to walk out on me or the baby?

How could I trust him to tell me these things or explain his emotions or to see the story from both sides? How could I possibly work myself to the bone again for such an unloving husband? So I made the decision for him. We could go to couples counseling. Not to be a better couple, but just to understand each other so that we could actually talk. Because no matter what, our lives would always involve each other because of the marriage and the babies, so we had to be able to talk.

I moved into my mom's home, and I'm free to stay there for as long as I need to. My mom is helping me make the spare room into a nursery and she's being the most amazing, supportive, incredible mom that anybody could be. Tiff and I are going to stay in closer contact and Harry's ex-friends said that he can be an appointment driver and is going to be my second emergency contact. As for when I go into labor, my mom will be with me. And if and Harry's ex-friend will be waiting to meet the baby and to stop Harry from ever seeing the delivery room. Finally, I made it clear to Harry that will separate for now,

but we will divorce and remain separated after the baby is born. I'll make sure that he is not included on my emergency contacts. He can't be trusted to show up or even be where he says he is. I'm not gonna update this anymore since I have things to do and a baby to prepare for. Oh man, I have to point out that Opie said that Harry's ex-friend, not his current friend,

but his ex-friend is gonna be driving her to appointments. This dude's buddy is a better husband than the actual husband. Man, I try not to cuss on this channel, but Harry is an absolute fucking loser. This dude has an amazing wife who's working hard for the family who's carrying his baby. And the second that she can't focus 100% on his needs,

he's like, you know, actually, I'm not sure if I love you anymore. Let me just vanish for two weeks while you figure it out and carry my baby on your own. And then when he got back, I was expecting him to apologize. I was expecting him to be sorry to say, um, I went through so much trauma. Please take me back, babe. But instead he's like, let me be super, super clear. I don't love you. I don't love you anymore. I'm not gonna love you. I don't even like you. And he didn't even have the balls to come in confrontor

in person. The only reason he did is because a sister dragged him here. He was just gonna vanish like a weak little coward. God. Ugh. This dude flew to Ireland to sit in a cheap hotel with his sister, not even the sightseed, not even to walk the wave-tossed

cliff sides of Ireland and stare out into the ocean and reflect about the man that he wants to be. No, he just sat in some cheap motel in silence while his sister silently judged him. Huh? What's even the point? You think it's possible that he was planning on cheating, but when the sister took him up on his offer,

which he probably wasn't expecting him to, he realized he couldn't, so because he had like a chaperone and that kind of ruined his plans, I don't know, I'm having a lot of trouble getting into this guy's head. Okay, so I'm recording this in the morning, and a lot of the times when I record episodes in the morning,

I'll take the juiciest stories of the day, and then when I go upstairs to have lunch with my wife and my daughter I will tell my wife oh my god you gotta listen to this story. I could not wait to tell this story to my wife because that's what it means to have a loving relationship with a partner. You want to share things and be involved and you love to be around each other. I feel so so sorry. Not only for OP but also for the guy to be honest. Like, I loathe him, I hate him, I think he's an awful person, but I know what he's missing out on.

He's missing out on being involved in his kid's life, watching her grow up, become a person, and it's just... It's sad, it's sad that he's such a pathetic fucking loser that he'll miss out on this. That he's ruining his wife's life. Man, I cannot insult this guy enough. I'll stop talking because you guys are probably sick of it. That was our slash true off my chest. And if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.