rSlash - r/Trueoffmychest My Landlord Has a Crush on My 13 year-old Son

Episode Date: April 17, 2023

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To support sustainable food production, BHP is building one of the world's most sustainable cottage mines in Canada. Essential resources responsibly produced. It's happening now at BHP, a future resources company. Welcome to our slash true off my chest, where OP's 44-year-old brother-in-law has a crush on her 13-year-old son. I think my sister's boyfriend, who's 44, is infatuated with my 13-year-old son. I'm a 38-year-old single mother living on a waitress salary. Times are tough right now, and due to unforeseen circumstances, I've had to move in with my

sister for the past couple of months. It's not an ideal situation, but I'm doing my best. I have an ex-husband, who's 40, who's emotionally abusive, hence the divorce. We share custody of my incredible son, Roman, who's 13, who's been so understanding of our financial situation even at his young age. My sister Sarah is 42, and she has a boyfriend, David, who are 44. They're well off and live in a massive house. My sister Sarah is 42 and she has a boyfriend, David, who are 44. They're well off and live in a massive house. My sister was happy to take me in, but her boyfriend, David, not so much. Which I completely understand.

I offered to pay rent, but my sister won't have any of it. So I do chores around the house and cook as often as my work schedule will let me. I never saw much of David anyway. He was often at the bar with his friends or working or locked in his room playing video games. When we did see each other, he acted like I didn't exist. My son Roman was staying with his dad for a while as I was figuring things out, and I was worried about David's attitude once my son moved in with us. I talked to David and promised him that Roman would be respectful and well behaved, but he was weird about it and shrugged me off. Then, David met Roman. David is absolutely fascinated with my kid. His disposition changed so quickly

that it gave me whiplash. Suddenly, he stopped locking himself in his room and has decided to spend time with us. Well, mostly my son. He helps Roman with his homework. He watches all of Roman's favorite shows so they can talk about them together. He buys him food and gifts. My sister Sarah is over the moon.

She's been telling me about how us moving in has been the best thing for her relationship because David is happier now. I thought it was sweet at first, but in the back of my head, I think something more nefarious could be going on. To paint a clearer picture, here are some other changes I've noticed that I can't decide whether they're innocent or not. One, David texts my son often, which wouldn't be weird, except he does it while he's at school. The texts themselves aren't weird at all, but David lightly scolds my son for not replying

sometimes. 2. Before my son moved in, David was rarely ever home during the afternoons and evenings. He'd stay out after work and go drinking with his buddies until late in the night, a habit that he's had for years according to my sister. Now he's home all the time. He gets home before Roman gets off the bus, around 315, and he stays home all day, even offering to babysit while I'm working through the evening.

He still drinks just in the house. 3. Last Wednesday, I woke up to use the bathroom during the middle of the night. To get to the bathroom, you have to pass by my son's room. I was surprised to see the door was closed all the way, since Roman always likes it open because his room gets hot at night. Also, he's been staying up late texting his friends lately, which has cost him to sleep through his alarm and miss the bus some days.

So that night, I opened the door to let the air in and make sure he was asleep. And there was David, standing by Roman's bed. Okay, alright. We have just crossed over the threshold from like, uh huh, this is kind of suspicious. Maybe he's just really caring. Maybe something that Ferris is going on. So, okay, we crossed the line right here. David said that he was looking for his cell phone But I saw him jump with anxiety when I opened the door. He left quickly muttering something about how it might have been in the kitchen Why would his phone be in my son's room? And why was the door closed? Yeah, right? Exactly. Okay, I'm getting worked up here. For David offers to drive my son everywhere he needs to go, but only my son.

David offers to drive my son everywhere he needs to go, but only my son. School, practice, his friends' houses. This is the same man who wouldn't lift a finger for me until my son moved in. Five, I caught David doing Romans' laundry, resulting in a few articles of clothing going missing. This one irritated me because I make my son do his own laundry. I asked him not to do this, but his excuse is that he's trying to save water. I don't know how to fight him on this since it's his house. I'm terrified of bringing this up to my sister. Am I reading into things too much? Am I silly for worrying that he might have ulterior motives?

If I tell my sister and she gets angry and there's nothing going on, she'll kick us out and we'll be homeless. So after OP posted this, everyone in the comments was telling OP to trust her gut, and that David's behavior was far beyond what was appropriate, and that definitely emboldened OP to speak up. And then OP posted an update. In the past four days, I spoke with my sister Sarah, her boyfriend David, and my son Roman all separately. One went well, two didn't. My first conversation was with my son.

I think you'll understand what I mean, but I had to ask my son serious and explicit questions. Roman adamantly denied that David ever did anything to him. He seemed surprised that I asked. He said that he would have told me if he had, and I believe him. I know that he could be lying, but I'm trying to take his word for it. Like you all advised me, I didn't bring up the bedroom or laundry situation, but I was honest with him and told him that David's behavior towards him was inappropriate. We had a talk about boundaries, saying no, consent, etc.

I drilled into him that David is not to drive him anywhere, text him anywhere, and to be around him alone under any circumstances. I also explained what grooming is and that it's what David's been doing to him. Then he said something that broke my heart. He apologized for letting David treat him that way, and that he shouldn't have fell for it. Those were his exact words. I assured him that none of this was his fault.

I want to make it clear that David is not praying on him because of how he looks or how he acts. He's doing it because he's a predator and they pray on the vulnerable. Honestly, I could tell that the conversation had left him a little shell-shocked. To know that the person you liked and trusted isn't who you thought he was, would leave any kid rattled. For the rest of the night, he followed me around like a lost puppy. It did break my heart a little to see him like that, but I don't want to feel a false sense of security around David, so I have no regrets about it. Sarah was next. I knew that it would turn into an argument before the conversation even began. It's always

been that way with her. My sister is nice, but not kind. I told her that I was uncomfortable with the way that David acts around Roman, and I think that it's a lot deeper than what he portrays it to be. I mentioned that I didn't like the gift giving and the constant texting, and I brought up the bedroom and laundry incidents. Like I predicted, she was offended that I was accusing her boyfriend of grooming my son. She didn't see how this was proof of anything. Do you know how many socks and pairs of underwear I've lost while doing the laundry?

It's probably stuck somewhere in the dryer. The more I expressed my concerns, the more defensive she got. She thinks that I'm manic, essentially. She said that as soon as I get a roof over my head, food in the fridge, and a steady job, I intentionally screw it up because deep down, I don't think I deserve happiness. That she tries to help me every time, but I end up stabbing her in the back like I am right now.

So she doesn't believe me. That's her prerogative. Fine. I told her that I won't be staying at her house much longer and that I don't want David around my kid anymore. That will be keeping to ourselves for the rest of my short time here. She's letting me stay, surprisingly, but she said that she's glad to see me go. She swore up and down that David would never hurt Roman, and that she was sad to see her relationship with me ruined over an accusation with no real basis. That I shouldn't let myself destructive behavior and my bipolar paranoia get in the way of

other people's happiness. And that I better not accuse her boyfriend of being a predator anymore. Essentially, she kept shifting the blame onto me, so I ended things there. Oh, and she told me that she wants reimbursement for things like clothing and grocery shopping, because apparently, we're draining her wallet by buying so much food. I apologize and said that I would buy my son's groceries from now on. David came back from his church retreat Friday morning, which is when I confronted him. I was very upset, so I didn't go easy on him.

He was thrown off by my hostility, but once he understood what I was implying, his demeanor shifted. Sit down, sit down, let's talk about it, he kept saying. Except he was the one who was nervous, and he looked like he was on the brink of a panic attack. I kept my composure. I asked him why he was in my son's room in the middle of the night with the door shut. He gave me the same excuse that he was looking for his cell phone. I asked him why he couldn't have gotten the phone in the morning. He said that he said his alarm for 5am for work and that he didn't want it to go off with my son in the room and wake him up. I asked him why was he standing over my son's bed?

He admitted that he was trying to wake him up and ask him him why was he standing over my son's bed? He admitted that he was trying to wake him up and ask him if he'd seen his phone. But didn't he just say that he didn't want the alarm to wake him up? I asked him what on earth would compel him to think that it's okay to wake up my child in the middle of the night to help him look for a cell phone. He said that he wasn't thinking straight and that he was sorry. I asked him about the missing laundry as well. He adamantly denied what I was implying. He said that his and my sister's clothing get lost in the laundry all the time. That he would help me find my son's missing clothing. All while apologizing profusely. I'll admit, I was thrown off by how apologetic he was and it made me a little soft. I thanked him for letting us stay in his house,

and I apologize for not setting boundaries earlier, but I told him that, from now on, I didn't feel comfortable with him being around my son. No more driving him places, buying him gifts, texting him, helping him with homework, doing his laundry, etc. I essentially told him that he's no longer allowed to be alone with my son or touches things under any circumstances. He broke down in tears. He was hysterical. The thought of me believing that he's praying on my son made him miserable, that he would never do that. He said, I love him like a father loves a son. When reading my original post, a lot of you believe the same thing at first, and so did

I. Yeah, let me just stop here and say same thing, OP. I was trying to give the guy the benefit of the doubt because, you know, you can't jump to an accusation that like horrendous so quickly because it's like life-roaning. But once the evidence piled up, it's like, nah man, the gloves are off. This is, we can't be cautious anymore. This is a problem. So I just want to stop here OP and say, don't blame yourself for trying to be cautious at first because I think that's human nature to try to give people the benefit of the doubt.

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to play live Blackjack on the same points bet app. The platform that gives you everything you need. You know what to do, bet on it. Point Spets Sportsbook and Casino. But I just don't like the way that David looks at him. Yeah, I see the kindness in his eyes towards my son as he helps him with homework or watches a looks at him. Yeah, I see the kindness in his eyes towards my son as he helps him with homework or watches a show with him, but there's a nuance of something covetous and sinister that I can't

shake off. Anyway, I told him that it's unhealthy for him to be so fixated on a child, and that he cannot depend on my kid for happiness. I told him that we'd be leaving his home very soon. I didn't tell him where or when it was happening. He asked if there was anything he could do to rectify the situation. He suggested that the four of us sit down and talk about it, but I declined. I reiterated that he is not allowed near my kid anymore and left it at that. A small part of me feels like I was too harsh on him overall, like maybe he was just looking for his phone.

Maybe it's a coincidence that articles of clothing are missing. But he was on his knees sobbing, like I had just pulled a rug out from underneath him. All this for a kid that he hasn't even known for that long. I don't think that he was devastated that I'd accused him of being a predator. He was devastated that I had revoked his access to my child. I'm not stupid. I once witnessed this man argue with my sister. Brutal, verbal assaults from both sides, which ended in my sister crying. This man didn't shed a tear. Okay, um, I'm sorry about the interruptions, but I just

got to stop here and point out something that I kind of feel like is really obvious and I'm surprised that OP isn't pointing it out. If I invited a family member into my home and they stayed here with their kid and suddenly that family member is accusing me of this type of inappropriate behavior towards their child, I would not want to keep these two people in my home. This accusation is the worst accusation someone could ever make towards a man. So if she made that accusation towards me and I was doing nothing wrong, I'd be like, yo, this is a problem. We need to cool things off, get out of my house, because if you think this is inappropriate, then I shouldn't be around your son. And I'm doing nothing wrong. I don't want to be around your son.

So let's just like separate, let's part ways, because I'm not doing this, and let's like get you the hell out of my home, lady. Why would I ever want to keep them in my home? So she can keep accusing me and ruin my life with these life-destroying accusations. No way man, there is no way I would let them stay in that house one more night. What I'm trying to say here is, David's behavior doesn't really feel to me like the behavior of someone who's in a sense. Am I wrong about this? Fellas, all the guys listening to this post.

If a woman and her son come into your house and the woman accuses you of that, would you be like, hey, it's okay, why don't you stay a couple more weeks and we can hopefully work things out? Or would you be like, no, this is bad, let's knit this in the bud, get out of my home. Cause I'd be like, get the hell out of my house today Anyways back to the story. Okay, OP finishes the post. It's a pretty long post saying OP's watching Roman like a hawk She also purchased a nanny cam and she's also looking into public housing and women shelters

Then about one week later OP posts in an update I guess I'll start off by saying that my son and I weren't in the house much up until Friday of this week. We've been staying at a local motel that's decently close to a school and where I work. But since we left the house, things have sort of escalated a bit. David's number is blocked on Roman's phone,

but David found my son on TikTok and Instagram on Monday night and messaged him there. Nothing explicit in the messages, just things like, did you block my number? I really miss talking to you. Is everything okay? Maybe in the future we can talk to each other again. I'm sorry if I upset you or your mom. Are you and your mom safe?

Where are you staying? Respond to me when you get a moment. I have something important to tell you. Oh my God! You guys, what am I reading? That commentary that I just made about how I would kick the woman and her son out of my house if I were innocent in the situation, I'm really trying to think like, how would an innocent man act in the situation? And you know what an innocent man would not do?

You know what he would never ever ever do? Is secretly stalked the guy on social media and sent him secret messages saying that he misses you. He also sent many more messages like that, basically just him begging my son for a conversation. I was livid when my son showed me. I think what set me off the most is that I know David messaged him because he thought my kid would respond without telling me. He thinks that they have some secret, private relationship right under my nose that I'm interfering with.

I'm pretty sure that's why he hasn't kicked me out of his house. He's not mad, just miserable, and desperate for some sort of contact. I feel like no matter how hard I pull my son away from David, he's refusing to let go. We blocked the Instagram and TikTok accounts immediately, and I screen-shotted the messages. I asked Roman to delete his Snapchat account, just in case, but he didn't want to do that. I'm like 99% sure that he is a girl on there that he likes. I let that slide because he came straight to me about the other accounts and he agreed not to add any new accounts on Snapchat or posting anything that gave away our location

for the time being. This entire ordeal has upset my son. He broke down in tears when he came back from school the next day. That hurt a lot to see. I don't know if I express this, but Roman genuinely liked David and they got along well. Maybe my kid saw him as a father figure since he was shunned and neglected by my ex-husband. David's harassment spilled over to me too. He called me multiple times and texted me things like,

Let me know when you're back so we can resolve this. Am I allowed to attend Roman's baseball game on Thursday with you? I'd like to support him. Can you please answer? I'd really love to talk, just us. I'm sorry if I gave you both the wrong impression. I didn't block his number on my phone. I figured that the more he talked, the more likely he'd continue to incriminate himself

and I could use his words against him. I didn't answer a single one of his questions, but I let him know that if he contacted my kid ever again or if he showed up to his school or any events that I would go straight to the police. This is the bad news, and I'll forewarn you that if you're easily triggered, please don't read any further. Well, um, OP added that disclaimer, so I guess I will put the disclaimer here. Also my editor is going to put a timestamp after this moment, so if you want to skip the triggering parts, you can click that timestamp and fast forward into the future.

I want to thank all of you for confirming my suspicions in the first post, because I found something heinous. I mentioned that I planned to set up a camera in Roman's room. I asked for his permission first, and he said that he didn't care since we're barely in the house anymore. The camera I chose is motion sensitive and links the footage to my iPhone so I can watch it anywhere. The camera was set up on Sunday night as soon as I received the package, and I hid it above the door frame so that it overlooked the entire room. You can't see it unless you use a ladder.

I didn't get anything for a couple of days. On Wednesday evening, around 6 o'clock, David came into my son's room, stood there for a moment, and then left. No longer than a minute. An hour later, he returned and started going through his drawers. He picked up a specific garment and left within less than two minutes. I wanted to throw up. I didn't sleep that entire night at the motel. The following day, I had someone cover my shift, which gave me the opportunity to do a deep search of David's

room while he was at work and my son was at school. I found the article of clothing inside of David's pillowcase on top of the pillow, right where he would lay his head to rest at night. Okay, I don't know what I expected, but I wasn't expecting that. I was so sick to my stomach that it took me almost two hours to confiscate that article of clothing and check it for evidence. I won't elaborate, but you can infer what I mean. I was nauseated the entire time. All I could do was put on gloves, throw it into a ziplock bag, and shove it

into my closet. I didn't want to look at it, or even think about it. I still don't. That answers the question of why David was so insistent on doing my kid's laundry. Who knows how long this has been going on. I've been ruminating on the next steps to take. Besides my main priority, going to the cops, my other priority is telling my sister Sarah. We are obviously not on the best terms right now. She found out that I confronted her boyfriend last week and she is livid. How dare I accuse him of grooming my son. Apparently, David is not the same man that he was after we left and returned to his old habits. He was back to going to bars with his friends every evening and his drinking got worse.

He stopped coming home early from work and dragged himself through the door at almost midnight. If he even bothered coming home that is. And he was no longer affectionate towards my sister. Apparently, it's my fault that he's depressed again. If these aren't red flags, I don't know what is. I can't tell if she's in denial or if she can't actually see them. But what she's most concerned about is that David hasn't been home since Thursday. He went to work, came home briefly, then left again without telling her when he'd be back. In my head, that makes sense. He knows that either she or I took the garment that was inside of his pillowcase, and now he's afraid to come home.

It confirms all of my suspicions. The rest of this post is kind of long, so I'll summarize. And the next paragraph, Opie, says that she wants to give proof to her sister about her boyfriend being a creep, but she's not sure how or when to do it. Also, OP got approved for public housing, so hopefully she'll have a place to stay soon. Then OP continues. I guess all I really have to say is I'm not sure how to go about providing the evidence I have to the police.

When I give them what I have, they'll start some kind of investigation, right? I'm just nervous that I could get into trouble for the camera. And the messaging, that counts as harassment, right? Do I tell my sister everything before I go to the cops? Any advice you can give is welcome, because I've never been in a situation like this before, and I don't want to mess it up. Just because I'm leaving David's home doesn't mean that I'm letting David get away with what he's done. Man, this story, the story really escalated quickly. OP, you were a hundred percent right to leave David's home when you did.

Who knows what would have happened if you had stayed in that house? Outside of that OP, I would say stop beating around the bush and go to the cops immediately. Tell your sister to, just rip off the bandaid and send her the video and email. That was our slash true off my chest, and if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.