rSlash - r/Trueoffmychest My White Wife is Pretending to Be a Black Man

Episode Date: December 6, 2022

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Welcome to our slash true off my chest where OP finds out that his white wife is pretending to be a black man on reddit for some reason. Our next reddit post is from deleted. I found out that my wife is pretending to be a black man on reddit. So this is going to be kind of tough to type out. To start, we're both white, but essentially I was on my wife's computer for work since mine had just kind of died to type out. To start, we're both white. But essentially, I was on my wife's computer for work since mine had just kind of died the other day. I wasn't trying to snoop around or anything, but I noticed in the history that she had been to Reddit. I didn't even know that she used Reddit, so it came as a surprise. She knew I used it,
Starting point is 00:00:40 so I was curious as to why she never mentioned it. I looked at her profile and needless to say, I was beyond shocked at the posts and the comments that I found. I won't go into too much detail as to not make anyone upset, but she was pretending to be part of the black community. Even going as far as pushing certain agendas, all while pretending to be someone she's not, she even had a profile picture of some random black guy.
Starting point is 00:01:06 I saw that she regularly got into arguments with people on the website as well. I'm not sure how to even bring this up. I guess I just really needed to vent because I feel like the image of my wife I knew is falling apart and I don't know how to deal with this. She's been noticing that I've been acting distant and not sticking around the house as much. She asked me if I was cheating. Of course, I denied it and began to arguments about it. I'm so stressed out! What the hell? I'm sorry to anyone and everyone that I may have upset. I just wanted to vent because it feels like my whole world is coming down. I'm gonna confront her. I just have to process all of it. This comment from Seth928 as a black man who's really a white man, I am outraged. All right, I am I am searching through the comments guys trying to find an update but OP deleted his
Starting point is 00:02:00 account so I got nothing which sucks because I am dying for an update on this one. One user down in the- This is so ridiculous. One user down in the comments posted a link to another Reddit account, where someone was saying, as a black man, it's really difficult to post on Reddit because no one supports you, and then people called that person out for being OP's white wife and that person deleted their account, which is a little suspicious, a little coincidental. Anyways, good luck OP.
Starting point is 00:02:34 I don't really know how I feel about this post because it's very, very weird. Our next Reddit post comes from Quizyad. I cheated on my wife three years ago. She agreed to forgive me if we opened the marriage, but now I live in agony every day. So I'm a 41-year-old guy, and basically my wife, who's 39, found out that I've been hooking up with a woman who I met online who lived two hours away. When the woman visited, we checked into a hotel. This went on for three months and we had met a handful of times until my wife caught us. She was waiting in the hotel lobby and saw us coming down from the room. She left me the next day. We separated for eight months and those eight months were terrible on all of us, especially
Starting point is 00:03:22 the kids. We have a nine year old son and seven and three year old daughters. We started talking about getting back together. My wife thought that since our love life wasn't enough for me, and since she was sure that I would cheat on her again, we might as well open up the marriage. I told her no because I've learned from my mistake, but she wouldn't waver. I relented.
Starting point is 00:03:44 We decided, as in, she decided not to tell each other the win, where, and with whom. Now, over two years later, we're back to normal. At least, it appears to be back to normal from the outside. On the inside, I'm dying a little each day. Every time I see her happy, I wonder if this is just her old bubbly self, or if she was thinking of some other guy. She's a very beautiful woman, and I'm sure she has no problems finding men who want her. Whenever she takes a shower after coming home, whenever she rejects my advances, I think that she's been with someone, and that kills me. I've tried to discuss closing the marriage again, but she shuts
Starting point is 00:04:25 these attempts down very quickly with a divorce card. Before all this happened, we had amazing passionate hugging several times a week, but now we do it probably 4 to 5 times over the past 3 years. She demands that I use protection, and she refuses oral or to allow me to finish her in any way. I stopped asking because passionate hugging is painfully bad now. I haven't slept with anyone else because the look on my wife's face in that lobby still makes me sick with guilt. I don't know how much more I can take.
Starting point is 00:04:59 I love my wife and I want to spend the rest of my life with her. Will she ever stop punishing me? Have you ever forgiven a cheating spouse and stop punishing them? What's going on in our head? OP, if you're looking for sympathy, you're not going to get any from me. She's not punishing you, she's giving you exactly what she wanted, which is to open up the marriage and sleep with other people. Then when you face the consequences of your actions, suddenly she's punishing you? Nah man. She's pursuing her own happiness, just like you pursued your happiness.
Starting point is 00:05:31 Our next reddit post is from Wild Gas. I'm a beautician, 35, who's married to an engineer who's 34. My husband is very intelligent, and I'm always proud of him. He has a colleague who's very intelligent, a 31-year-old woman who he's very close to. Before the events that I'm about to discuss, I never had any reason to be uncomfortable about his relationship with her. I've always felt secure in our relationship.
Starting point is 00:05:55 We're both independent people who would just leave if we weren't happy together. We've been together for five years, married for one and a half. My husband and I were on a three-day trip with my husband's colleague. It's a tradition at his work every autumn. We came home yesterday morning, and I had a bad taste in my mouth after this trip. It felt like me and the colleague's partner, who was a 35-year-old guy, were the third and fourth wheel to my husband and his colleague during
Starting point is 00:06:21 the entire trip. During dinner on the second night, I was sitting silently playing with my food after almost two days of being ignored. Her partner was also silent at first, but we started talking a bit, asking each other generic questions. The female colleague, who was in a very loud, teasing argument with my husband, suddenly turned around and asked what the two of us, me and her partner, were talking about so quietly. Her partner said that we were just getting to know each other since those two were too busy talking about things that we knew nothing about. The colleague laughed and said, what could we discuss with you? Make up and Kim Kardashian as she nodded towards me.
Starting point is 00:07:01 We have more intelligent things to discuss. I was dumbfounded. I guess because I'm a beautician, I can only discuss Kim Kardashian. I mean, any outsider to any profession would be dumb listening in on two people discussing work-related subjects. She would have been just as ignorant as I was if I was talking to my coworker about my job. My husband just laughed, but the female colleague's partner said, that's rude. I said nothing because I had distaste for the whole situation. On the last day of the trip, I spent most of my time with the female colleague's partner. I ignored my husband and the female colleague. Yesterday evening, the partner deemed me saying that
Starting point is 00:07:42 he wanted to talk about our significant others. He said that he's been feeling uncomfortable about his girlfriend's relationship with my husband, and he went through her messages. He sent me screenshots where my husband and his colleague are basically calling me stupid and shallow and laugh about it. Well mostly it's the colleague saying mean things, and my husband laughing about it and adding in. Sometimes he would say something like, no, I love my wife, and she would answer.
Starting point is 00:08:11 You only like banging hot dumb chicks, and then they laugh. When they're not texting about how stupid I am, they're texting about work, and in one of them my husband wrote, I love your brain, to her. I started crying when I saw the screenshots. I have never felt so self-conscious about my brains or my profession. I love my job, and I thought that my husband loved it too, or at least didn't have this disdain for it. I've been my own boss for over 10 years, and I make close to 6 figures. I never thought of myself as a dumb person. I like to think that I'm fairly well informed
Starting point is 00:08:48 and I have a passion for history, languages, culture, et cetera. But yeah, I'm not an engineer working on some design for artificial hearts or something. Still, the text messages from my husband, complimenting the colleague, hurt more than the ones making fun of me. I don't know why. I think that my husband and his colleague are out of line at best and, well,
Starting point is 00:09:10 probably screwing as well. I still don't know what to do. The last thing I want to be is an insecure wife. If he isn't happy with me, then why is he here? Okay, this is really, really weak evidence. I don't have a lot to base this on. But I'll say my hunch is that they're not actually sleeping together because if they were really sleeping together, I think most people wouldn't be so overt about it, right? It's kind of the opposite of what you think, right? If they're sleeping together, then they would be super aware of what they're doing and
Starting point is 00:09:40 how wrong it is. So they would try to hide it when they're around you and her partner. But the fact that they aren't hiding it would lead me to believe that it's just sort of like, it's how they flirt, it's their banter. I will say though that I think your husband is either currently emotionally cheating or on the route to emotionally cheating. I'll also say that I'm pretty sure the colleague wishes she was screwing your husband. I don't know if I can say that it sounds like your husband wants to sleep with the colleague because these are kind of like wishy-washy messages. They're still bad, don't get me wrong. But the colleague putting you down to him is definitely a tactic that you see pretty commonly among
Starting point is 00:10:19 women who put down other women. Either way, these are all kind of irrelevant details. The point is, your husband is disrespecting you to another woman, which in my opinion is a line you should never cross. So like cheating, not cheating, the fact is your husband doesn't respect you. He doesn't think you're smart, he doesn't think your profession is valuable, he just doesn't value you. So do you really want to be with someone who doesn't value you? Also, like the fact that both you and the colleague's partner were both uncomfortable really says a lot about their behavior. Our next reddit post is from sleep affair and the title is, my partner's girlfriend found me in his bed. I really don't know what to feel.
Starting point is 00:11:01 I'm obviously angry and sad, but also relieved and amused to have found out like this. So I'm a 23 year old woman, and last night I stayed at my 24 year old boyfriend's house. We've been together for three years, and we planned on moving in together in January. My boyfriend works early, and I usually leave his apartment during his work day. Last night, though, for some reason I didn't sleep well, so I woke up around 1pm. I decided to stay over because it's only three more hours until he gets back to work. I did his dishes, cleaned a bit, and then went back for a little nap. I woke up to the sound of a door opening. I heard two people talking and laughing. My boyfriend and a woman.
Starting point is 00:11:42 I heard my boyfriend enter the shower and the woman came into the bedroom. I immediately got up and then she and I quietly stared at each other for a long time. I'd never seen this woman before in my life. She said, we might want to leave. Quietly enough for my boyfriend not to overhear from the shower. I quickly collected my things and put on my shoes and coats. My boyfriend exited the shower right then, but I just walked past him and didn't say a thing. Me and the other woman got out the door together, and he started shouting after us,
Starting point is 00:12:15 but didn't chase after us because he was still butt naked. Turns out, the woman thought that my boyfriend was single, and they'd been having a fling for three months. She apologized many times to me, but I reassured her that it was okay. I didn't think my boyfriend would be so stupid to start a fling, and then bring her home before checking whether or not I was still there. Apparently, he got a little too cocky and comfortable with my stupidity. I haven't responded to his calls or texts for now. I'm heartbroken, but I'm relieved about finding this out before moving in with him. Then OP posted an update.
Starting point is 00:12:52 We broke up. I read his text messages. The first ones were trying to downplay and explain the situation. Then he moved on to apologizing. His last text was him asking for a switch games back when apparently he realized that I wasn't buying his explanations. I told him I'd return his games, but that our relationship was over. Then I blocked his number.
Starting point is 00:13:15 Well OP sounds like you lost your boyfriend, but you might have picked up a friend along the way. Our next reddit post is from a non-cheated. Yesterday morning, I was contacted by a lawyer. I was confused because I don't have any need for one for anything. The lawyer told me that her client is seeking a divorce from his wife due to the wife having an affair. Their investigator found out the affair is with MY husband, and her client asked her lawyer
Starting point is 00:13:41 to tell me since my husband is married. The lawyer provided me with proof of the affair. My brother-in-law is supposed to be married on Saturday. My husband is the best man, and he's already there to assist with everything. Me and my five-month-old daughter were supposed to leave on Friday morning to join them. My husband is unaware that I know. I'm shocked, but the proof is right in front of my eyes.
Starting point is 00:14:06 I haven't told anyone, but I did ask my sister to come over after work. I'm gonna ask if me and my daughter can stay with her. I don't think that I can face them at the wedding. I don't wanna hear his excuses. My sister's husband is a lawyer, and while he doesn't do divorces, I'll ask if he can recommend someone. I have talked to my sister, but I'm mostly just getting my thoughts out on here because I'm feeling entirely scattered. Then OP posted an update. I told my husband that I'd been exposed
Starting point is 00:14:36 to COVID so I couldn't attend the wedding. My sister helped pack my stuff, and she's letting me and my daughter stay with her until I find a flat. When my husband returned home on Monday, there was a note telling him that I knew about the affair. The husband of the other woman was going to be filing for divorce later that week, and I wouldn't be far behind. My sister's husband recommended a good divorce lawyer for me. My husband and I both have jobs, but we don't own a home. Once we've been separated for two years, we can get a divorce. My solicitor said that there's no way to shorten the time requirements. That was our slash true off my chest, and if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast
Starting point is 00:15:15 because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.

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