rSlash - r/Trueoffmychest My Wife Cheated on Me, Then Laughed at Me

Episode Date: September 2, 2023

0:00 Intro 0:09 Adopted 8:07 Arrested 9:02 Cheating 11:27 Marriage ruined 13:11 New lifestyle 15:04 Inheritance Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices...

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 This holiday season, let's swish Shalai to the cooking so you can enjoy spending time with those you love. Their iconic festive special includes the famous quarter chicken dinner. Now with cranberry sauce, stuffing, lindor chocolates, plus a scratch and wind card, where everyone's a winner. Grab your loved ones and hurry to swish Shalai today. Visit swishshalai.ca for contest details, well supplies last. Welcome to our slash true off my chest, where OP discovers her deep dark family secret.
Starting point is 00:00:32 Our next reddit post is from our Umy daddy. For background, I'm a 39 year old woman, and I grew up in a family marked by domestic violence and child abuse. My father, Hank, used to hit my mother until one day when I was old enough and I stepped in front of him. From that day forward, my father took all of his anger out on me and my mother was all too ready to let him. He's been arrested for domestic violence and we moved around every two to three years once child protective services in our new area was called. When I was little, I used to beg my mom to leave him,
Starting point is 00:01:06 but she would always remind me that she had three kids, me and my two younger brothers. No education beyond a high school diploma and no work history. Hank wanted her to be a stay-at-home mom. To this day, I've never seen anyone stand up to him besides me, and they're still together to this day.
Starting point is 00:01:24 In spite of my childhood, I went on to be rather successful. Growing up watching my mom in this relationship made me never want to be financially dependent on a man. I earned two full-ride scholarships to college and took out student loans to put myself through the rest of my schooling. I'm now a doctor with a large practice living 1,000 miles away from them, and I've been no contact with Hank for almost 10 years, except for recent events. Ever since the pandemic, the need for services in my line of work has been unprecedented, and I've been hiring pretty much non-stop since 2020. There's a shortage of available providers in my area, and it's been tough finding qualified
Starting point is 00:02:03 people to hire. I belong to an online group of other practice owners in my area who are also in my area and it's been tough finding qualified people to hire. I belong to an online group of other practice owners in my area who are also in my particular field of work. This group has been so valuable and supportive through the stress of the pandemic and the aftermath of our community. So a couple of months ago, I was scrolling the group and someone posted about a new, free background check website that they said was very thorough. I like the price of free, so I figured I'd run a background check on myself to see how good it really was. I figured I'd already knew what would come up. Well, this site was super thorough because I found my parents' marriage certificate on there. The thing is, it was dated three years after I was born. This didn't line up with the story
Starting point is 00:02:43 that I was always told growing up. For reference, my parents had always told me that they were high school sweethearts and got married right after graduation and had me one year later. My parents were never affectionate with one another and they never celebrated their anniversary growing up. So I never suspected anything was up. I called my mom and I asked her when her anniversary was, and she took a long time to respond, as if she was doing math in her head. She lied to me at first, but I asked her if she wanted to try that answer again. She played dumb until I asked her if the date such and such rang a bell.
Starting point is 00:03:19 The phone went silent and I asked her to explain herself. She then told me that she and my father never wanted me to know that I was born out of wedlock. I was furious about being lied to my whole life, but I also didn't believe that she was telling me the whole truth. I hung up the phone and immediately ordered both an ancestry DNA kit and a 23-and-me test to be overnighted to me. The next morning, I took a picture of both tests and texted them to my mother. I told her I was too angry to talk to her just yet, and asked to schedule a phone call with her that Friday. I told her that would be her only opportunity to come
Starting point is 00:03:55 clean, and if I found out she was keeping any more lies from me after that, I would have to reconsider having a relationship with her. Friday came and we had our phone call. My mother told me that she had gotten pregnant in high school and her boyfriend's family moved him to Florida after that. I was elated that Hank was not. In fact, my biological father, but instead, my adoptive father. But I was mostly infuriated and felt betrayed that my mother would let some man adopt me
Starting point is 00:04:24 and then treat me so cruelly my whole life. Emotions were high and I berated my mother for this. It wasn't my finest hour. Since then, my PTSD from childhood that I'd worked so long in therapy to manage in my 20s has come back full force. I search the internet for people in my situation in hopes of finding a support group or community, but it's kind of a rare problem to have. After wrestling
Starting point is 00:04:50 with the idea, I finally made a post on my private Facebook account asking people if they had any recommendations or resources. Thankfully, it paid off, and I was put in touch with a researcher out of California who specializes in identity trauma, and I was put in touch with a researcher at a California who specializes in identity trauma. And I found an online group of individuals who have experienced finding out that they were adopted later in life. And many of them had traumatic childhoods as well. It was such a relief to not feel so alone.
Starting point is 00:05:17 I've been connecting with DNA relatives to search for my biological father and I'm in the process of changing my last name. Well, I gained some information on the DNA websites which revealed that, surprise, surprise! My mother was lying about my biological father, so I called her back up to ask for more information about my biological father. She became defensive and angry with me for wanting to know more information about my biological family.
Starting point is 00:05:43 She called me ungrateful and then asked, what do you want to know, that I was a slut? There! Do you feel better? I lash back at her for letting hang to all of that horrible stuff to me over the years, and I asked her how she could sell out her own child like that. She then told me that I was a difficult child who needed discipline because you wouldn't be controlled. I told her that she should have terminated her pregnancy with me and she ruined my life.
Starting point is 00:06:11 Again, it wasn't my finest hour. I hung up on her and blocked her. Last week, I received an eight-page cease-and-discuss letter threatening to sue me for defamation from my Facebook posts if I don't take them down. The threat was from Hank's lawyer. To be honest, I'm still scared of Hank. But I'll be damned if I let him get away with bullying me and preventing me from speaking my truth.
Starting point is 00:06:34 I've had Hank blocked on Facebook for almost 10 years. But somehow, they had screenshots of everything I posted. I never posted anything that wasn't the God's honest truth. I'm upset and nervous, but I won't back down and I won't let him control me anymore. I'm in the process of retaining a lawyer, so I'm not looking for legal advice. I just needed to rant. OP, so I'm not a lawyer, I'm not super well versed in legal matters, but I'm pretty sure that anyone can write a cease and desist about anything. I'm pretty sure I could send a cease and desist to all of my viewers telling them to stop
Starting point is 00:07:08 watching other YouTube videos and only watch my content. I'm pretty sure a cease and desist is just a letter that basically says, please stop doing this thing, but it has no legal bearing whatsoever. So, hang sending you an 8 page cease and desist, it's just pointless, it doesn't mean anything. And even if he does sue you, you're speaking the truth, so what do you have to worry about? I think you're more afraid of Hank because of your trauma than because of the actual threat that he's presenting to you right now, which I understand I'm just saying this because Stanger Ground OP, nothing Hank can do right now can really hurt you.
Starting point is 00:07:41 Also, man, how do I say this? I'm surprised to learn that you still have a relationship with your mother, and then each time that you got angry at your mother, you said that it wasn't your finest hour, which suggests to me that you feel guilty for calling out your mother. Even though, in my opinion, your mother is just as bad as Hank, possibly even worse than Hank. Like, I really can't tell what's worse, a child abuser, or the mother of a child who lets her child be abused.
Starting point is 00:08:12 So, I'm not criticizing you, O.P. Clearly, you've got a ton of trauma, so maybe this is your way of coping with it by still talking to your mom, but honestly, I think you'd be better off cutting both Hank and your mother out of your life entirely. They're toxic, horrible people, and you're way better off without them. Our next reddit post is from Felis Verdebrata.
Starting point is 00:08:32 I received good news last week, and I really can't share it with anyone because it's becoming more and more of a dark hobby of mine. I got a guy arrested after I found him in underground chats last month bragging about what he did. This guy gave me enough information to find the victim, and after a lot of hard work, I found her Instagram. I contacted her, and she immediately contacted the cops and got him arrested. This isn't the first time I've done this, and I've been filing police reports of several other guys who I've come across. But this is the first time that I actually found the victim and helped the lawyer with the evidence and got real feedback of my actions. And it feels so good to have helped her, and I'm so proud of her strength.
Starting point is 00:09:17 That's it. I just wanted to share because I'm super happy. Opiee, handing out some vigilante justice nice. East Side Mario's all you can eat is all you can magasup salad and garlic home. Come on. We're going to be Metro links and cross links are reminding everyone to be careful as Eglinton Cross Town LRT train testing is in progress, please be alert.
Starting point is 00:09:46 This trains can pass at any time on the tracks. Remember to follow all traffic signals. Be careful along our tracks and only make left turns where it's safe to do so. Be alert. Be aware and stay safe. Our next Reddit post is from Deleted. I cheated on my wife four years ago. I'm a 38 year old man and my wife is 41. I regret it to this day and I've never cheated again since.
Starting point is 00:10:14 We have two small kids and when she found out, she moved out. Life was hard on both of us and we were miserable. I love my wife more than anything and losing her was excruciating. After a few months apart, I begged her to come back and we took it slow, going to therapy and just trying to build our life together back up. She moved back in after a year
Starting point is 00:10:37 and everything was back to normal again. We were even stronger in our relationship grew. We're very happy together. I finally thought our life was perfect again. About a week ago, a man showed up at my door and when I opened the door, he was confused, then apologized for mixing the days up. I was supposed to fly home with my kids the next day. My wife took over and she went back to the guys car and they taught for five minutes and he drove away. I asked her who he was and she said he was just a friend.
Starting point is 00:11:07 He came to pick her up since I was supposed to be at my parents, but he mixed the days up. I was shocked, so I asked her if she was sleeping with them. She was so unbelievably unbothered, looked at me for a moment and said yes. I was speechless. I asked her, are you sleeping with others? And she said, yes. I asked since when, and she said, since we got back together. She was calm the whole time, talking about it like it was normal. She asked me why it was okay for me and not okay for her,
Starting point is 00:11:38 and when I said that I never as much as looked at another woman since I cheated, she was surprised at first. Then she laughed at me. She said she'd just assumed that I was still cheating, so she thought that if I could, then so could she. I canceled my trip to stay with her at home, but she said she was sorry, she already made plans. I got very upset and started yelling at her. She said that if I didn't like it, then maybe we weren't supposed to be together. Then she said that if I kept yelling, she wanted a divorce. WTF? Buddy.
Starting point is 00:12:10 OP. Come on man. Are you really this blind? Your relationship is over. Did. Finished. No more. Just accept it and move on because the two of you are never going to be in a loving relationship
Starting point is 00:12:23 again. You literally effed around and you found out. Our next Reddit post is from Ericsson's diary. I still can't comprehend what happened. I guess I just need to get this off my chest. I'm having a vacation in Spain because my family has an apartment here. A few days ago, I was just browsing through my phone. In this apartment complex, our walls are not soundproof, not at all.
Starting point is 00:12:45 Each resident can hear what the other ones do, like cook, talk, etc. I could suddenly hear some really loud moans and creeks since my room is right next to the wall separating us. It's not a big deal, but it went on for hours. I was starting to feel pretty uncomfortable, so I put my headphones on to block it out as it was happening during the day. I could hear the wall being banged between us, and I just hope they weren't breaking anything. So now, earlier today, I saw the wife of the neighbor while taking out trash. She told me that her family would have appreciated if I would stay quiet after 10pm because I have a bad habit of watching TV until midnight. I apologize
Starting point is 00:13:25 to her and asked her in return, could you be a bit more quiet during intimacy? I know that I have no right to ask that and I acknowledge that. Then she told me that she and her husband hadn't been intimate in years. I apologized and left. I'm now writing this post a few hours after the encounter. I've been hearing screaming coming out of their apartments. I think I ruined their marriage. I feel really bad about it, as they also have a young kid. I feel bad for telling her that, but at the same time, I didn't know.
Starting point is 00:13:58 I'm really sorry for the kid. Opie, I understand the guilt that you're feeling I think that's somewhat natural, but let's be super clear here. You didn't ruin the marriage, the cheating husband ruined the marriage. Our next reddit posted from Loud Complex. My husband suggested Polly Amory a few years ago, and I love it! We're five years into our marriage with three-year-old twin girls. After the girls were born, my husband pushed for a polygamous relationship,
Starting point is 00:14:25 and at first I was against it. He kept pushing, and I finally said yes. At first, when he would be out with someone else, I would cry. I debated divorce for a while. After I cried and processed everything, I realized how over him I was. I also realized that leaving him would put me in an awful position and the girls would have to live their whole lives moving houses every other week. Then, while I was deciding what to do, I realized the perks. My husband works full time while I teach yoga part time in the morning. I get great insurance through his work, a great place to live, and barely pay any bills.
Starting point is 00:15:03 He worked from home most days, but I slowly convinced him into going into the office after I get home from my morning yoga classes around 9 a.m. I then pushed him to go on more dates, and I would do whatever I wanted with the twins. We go out on play dates with my mom's friends. We see movies, go to parks, do anything we want. My husband has almost always gone at this point on multiple dates with multiple women. I get to pick what I want to watch every night after the girls go to bed. I rarely have to clean up after my husband because he's gone all the time.
Starting point is 00:15:34 I basically get all of my bills paid for. I get a free place to live. If I want a night off, I just tell my husband I have a date and he takes care of the girl or takes him to his parents place I typically don't have a date. I just go shopping, eat at a place by myself or read a book at Starbucks I'll even do girls nights and get us hotel room so none of us have to Uber home I've gone on a couple dates, but honestly I don't really care to date our relationship is basically over But I enjoy the perks of it now our next red- post is from deleted. My great-grandfather passed away two years ago. He left me $50,000 in his will. I was surprised because we didn't know each other at all.
Starting point is 00:16:15 The money was locked away until last week. Anyways, I had $15,000 in credit card debt, $20,000 in student loans, and a $10,000 mortgage. So my idea was to pay off my debts and put whatever was left into my savings. Well, my girlfriend says that she wants us to use that 50k to get a down payment on our own house. Right now, we live in my house. I bought it 10 years ago dirt cheap at $70,000. It does need some remodeling, but I made it work. And now it's a cozy place.
Starting point is 00:16:47 She keeps saying that it's our money, but it's my inheritance, so it's my money. If I pay off my debts, it'll cut down my monthly expenses by 70%. The only remaining expenses will be food, water, electricity, and miscellaneous. My car was paid off last year. Opie, I don't really know why you're making this post because it's very clear what you should do and it sounds like you already know what to do. So yeah, this is your money, it's not your girlfriend's money. Pay off your debts, man. Because yeah, technically it's your money now, but if you use that 50k to buy a house that's in your anger girlfriend's name, then suddenly that 50k becomes half her money.
Starting point is 00:17:26 That was our slash true off my chest, and if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.