rSlash - r/TrueOffMyChest My Wife Is Pregnant From Another Man

Episode Date: January 24, 2023

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Welcome to our slash true off my chest, where OP discovers that his girlfriend is pregnant with another man's baby. Our next reddit posted from throwaway. My girlfriend just gave birth to our first child. I know that I'm not the biological father, and I revealed that I knew as soon as she gave birth. I found out when she was six months along. This guy, Brian, approached me at my work.
Starting point is 00:00:23 Are you serious boyfriend? I said yeah, and I asked him what he wanted. He said that he was sorry that he slept with her, and he swore that he didn't know that she was with someone. I don't believe that though. He then pulled out his phone to show the text between them. They'd been sleeping together for at least a year. Then she found out that she was pregnant, and they came to an agreement to just pretend the baby was mine. In return, she wouldn't lose her perfect life, and he wouldn't be responsible for a baby. I knew it was weird.
Starting point is 00:00:55 We've been having problems trying for a baby, and all of a sudden she got pregnant so easily. But he explained that he had been thinking about it and he recently became a Christian. He said that he couldn't live his life knowing that I was living a lie while his child didn't know their real father. So yeah, I told him I'd keep in touch and to not say anything to my girlfriend. I've had a lot of time to think, but ultimately I decided to wait until she gave birth. To hurt her in her most vulnerable moment. I'll spare you the details, but she went into labor.
Starting point is 00:01:28 The baby was born and she was taken to the NICU to be monitored for a bit. What should have been a beautiful moment of me holding my baby was the most heartbreaking time of my life. Just knowing that he wasn't mine hurt me. Once my girlfriend was sewn up and comfortable, I started packing up my stuff to leave. She asked where I was going and I just told her. I said, I know that I'm not his father. You can act all shocked, but I know.
Starting point is 00:01:54 Just ask Brian to come. I'm positive he'll sign the birth certificates. Then I left. She's been calling my phone over and over and has even gotten her sister to call me a few times. It was hard pretending these last few months, but I think I'm satisfied. I feel really, really heartbroken though. I was planning to propose to her on the day that our baby was born. I was gonna make her the happiest woman ever.
Starting point is 00:02:18 Oh well, I'm gonna go get drunk now. Hey OP, so like, I definitely commend you for breaking up the relationship because I think anyone in that situation should because she's clearly showing herself to be a really toxic partner. But like, I don't know if it's 100% accurate to say the baby's brine and not yours because technically it could still be yours, right?
Starting point is 00:02:40 So while I do agree with the direction you're taking, you should at least do a paternity test first. Because on the off chance that that is your baby, he's your responsibility. I mean, definitely don't reopen a relationship with this woman because she's mega toxic, but still, you guys can co-parent together. So, I'm on your side OP, I just think you're being a little hasty here. Oh, scratch that OP post in an update. This is 20 days after the original
Starting point is 00:03:05 post. I'll cut to the chase. I'm not the father, but I already knew that deep down. Brian and the baby were tested to be a match, so that pretty much answers that question. He's very excited to be a dad, even despite the circumstances. We've kept in touch this whole time, and he's actually a really great guy. Goes to church, volunteers at shelters, etc. I'm not sure if we'll continue to stay in touch after this, but I wouldn't mind getting a drink with him every once in a while. I hope the kid does great in life. He should, with Brian as his dad. As for Sarah, around the time that I posted this, she had asked Brian to be with her officially,
Starting point is 00:03:41 since there was nothing to hide. As far as I know, he hasn't taken her up on that offer and just wants to co-parent for the sake of being in his kid's life. I think that's very smart of him, honestly. Me and her have talked as well. We talked about where it all went wrong. She felt as though I wasn't there for her fully and just felt unfulfilled, which I understand. And the rest of the post is just sort of, you know, saying
Starting point is 00:04:05 life goes on, she's moving on, he's moving on. Okay. Sad. Kind of a mixed ending here, kind of sad, kind of hopeful, but OP, I'm glad you're out of that relationship. Our next reddit post is from Non-Nular Havoc. I'm a 16 year old boy, and I was born to my mom when she was 15. I've never known my real dad. My mom didn't drop out of school or anything, and the year after I was born, she started dating Jack, and when they went to university, I obviously got left behind with my grandparents. Mom and Jack got good degrees, got married, and moved to a city by Vancouver.
Starting point is 00:04:42 My mom's always been in my life. She would still come home every weekend just to cuddle with me and would always give me these nicknames, but calling me her special guy would be her favorite one. She'd always bring me back presents and gifts and spend the whole time playing with me. She's the one who paid for my tutoring and after school stuff and would try to make it to games and stuff like that. Jack wouldn't always come with her, but it was always fun when he would. He's taken me fishing with him a lot of times, and we even went camping for two weeks together
Starting point is 00:05:11 once. But never again because I hate camping. But when I was 10, my mom and Jack had a daughter, and then another girl three years ago. I don't really know them, especially because my mom stopped coming over as much after they were born. We don't cuddle anymore. We did on my birthday, but that's it. No more cute nicknames for me, except for a special guy.
Starting point is 00:05:34 It's like they all got transferred to her daughters. No more gifts, and the worst part is she doesn't come to my games anymore. It was okay with me before because they still had a spare room in their house and I could go there when it's time for university. Yesterday, my mom faced time and she had a big announcement that she was going to have another baby and it was a boy and now she'd have two special guys. I guess she saw how sour my face was because she asked what's wrong and I don't know. I just admitted how jealous I was that her daughters got her so much. And now her son was going to get her, and there wouldn't even be space
Starting point is 00:06:10 for me there when I had to go to university. And I guess what I said affected her because she started crying and wouldn't stop and had to hang up. My grandparents are mad that I made her upset and think that I don't value them now or something. Jack phoned me, and now he's mad because my mom thinks it's a mistake now to have another kid. And he's also mad at me because he was like, why would I ever think they wouldn't have room for me? I feel like I really messed up telling her that.
Starting point is 00:06:37 And here I am at school writing about it on Reddit because I can't stop thinking about it. Okay, okay. So for the start of the story, I was kind of on the mom's side, like she was in a sucky situation, and then she stayed in school, and she went off to college, she'd get an education,
Starting point is 00:06:52 and she transferred OP to her grandparents. I was like, okay, that kind of sucks. They're making the best of a bad situation, but I understand. But then, then she left school, and she moved out, and she left OP with the grandparents. Okay, I don't really understand why she didn't bring OP to live with her then, but okay,
Starting point is 00:07:12 I guess. Then she had other kids and she didn't bring back OP then. And at that point, it's like, okay, I see what's going on here. She's just a bad person. I mean, literally, that's just what it is. She's playing favorites. Her precious daughters get to live with her, but not OP, the unwanted stepchild. OP, you had every single right to call your mother out. Why? Because she's being a terrible mother.
Starting point is 00:07:37 And then your stepdad is like, I can't believe you would think that we wouldn't have room for you. Why would he not think that you've never had room for him his entire life. You've had 16 years to bring OP into your home, to treat him like a son, and you never did it once. Okay, you went camping, I guess, so man. And then when you call them out on every single person in your family is blaming you for it, OP. OP, your family is super, super toxic.
Starting point is 00:08:06 I think you're like too young and too in the middle of it to really understand what's happening, but I hope from the comments on this Reddit post and from the comments on this YouTube video, you can understand that your family is mega toxic, mega toxic. I'm gonna be harsh with you, OP, because I think you need a wake up call. And the wake
Starting point is 00:08:25 up call is that your mother doesn't really love you. I think she just feels guilty about what she did and how she kind of ruined your childhood, not kind of how she literally ruined your childhood. And that's what's causing her to still be involved in your life. Not because she loves you, not because she wants to be around you, but just because she feels bad. She feels like a bad mom, because she is a bad mom. If she really loved you, if she really cared about you, if she really wanted you in her life, nothing is stopping her from bringing you
Starting point is 00:08:52 from your grandparents house to her house. But she's never done it, not in 16 years. So it's very safe, very reasonable for us to conclude that she just doesn't love you OP. I hate to say this because you're the victim here, but like, honestly, you really need this wake up call so that you can cut them out of your life and move on because a head of you down this path lies nothing but pain. Our next reddit post is from throwaway. My husband started acting strangely upon hearing my sister's pregnancy announcement. I feel like I'm going crazy
Starting point is 00:09:25 here thinking about it. My husband and I were at my parents house for dinner. Always going well. We were talking, laughing, and eating. But as soon as my sister announced her pregnancy, I noticed at first that my husband got quiet. Didn't get up to congratulate her when the rest of us did, and just kept staring at or towards her, I'm not entirely sure. I repeatedly asked if he was okay, and he mumbled about feeling a bit sick. That was strange, because he was perfectly fine that day. Literally moments later, he started throwing up. Like, I had no idea what was happening with him.
Starting point is 00:10:00 He sat on the bathroom floor near the toilet, just looking down and refusing to let me help him up to wash his face. I kept asking him if he was okay, but no response. My family was worried about him and I had to take him home. I checked his temperature and blood pressure, but everything was normal. Still, complete silence on his part. He went to sleep shortly after, and in the early morning at 5.30, I woke up to the sound of him crying in the shower. I rushed in asking if he was okay, but still no response, other than him telling me that he needed a minute with himself. I almost lost it, demanding he explain what was going on, and he told me that he was just
Starting point is 00:10:41 feeling overwhelmed. But from what? He's not the type to get stressed out from work or anything of the sort. This is just so strange and out of character for him. He got dressed, left, and then refused to even talk about it. I can't help but feel like this reaction was triggered by my sister's pregnancy announcement since this all started right after she made it. What makes me feel so horrible is the fact that my sister once implied that my husband was her type
Starting point is 00:11:08 and hope to get someone like him. She has a boyfriend, by the way. This could be nothing, but I can't shake this weird feeling about what happened. Man, this story has just climbed to the top of my list of Reddit posts I most hope shows up on best of Reddit or updates because I am dying to know what
Starting point is 00:11:26 happened after this. I mean, it could be a couple of things, but I'm a big fan of Occam's razor on Reddit. Typically, the simplest explanation is the correct one. Two options. The first option is that OPs' husband secretly had an affair with OPs' sister and they ended it and now OPs' husband is sad about it. The second is that OPs's husband has secretly been in love with the sister all these years and now that she's pregnant he suddenly realizes that he could never have her so he's breaking
Starting point is 00:11:53 down. Personally, I think I'm a fan of option 2 just because the crying in the shower and the throwing up is a little strange if they'd been cheating, I think. I think if they'd been cheating, it'd be something closer to rage or anger or frustration, but weeping in the shower, that's like mourning, that's loss. So I'm thinking that he's sad because he lost a life that he envisioned for himself with the sister as his wife. I don't know, what do you guys think? Either way, I think
Starting point is 00:12:25 things are looking pretty dire for OP. Our next reddit post is from Reddit Proud Guy. I left the country to avoid paying child support for a kid that I didn't want. I had been with my girlfriend for a year at the time. We were both 22 and just out of university, getting started on our careers. One night, she tells me that she missed her period. We got a test and it turned out positive. Mind you, I was a bit surprised because I always used protection and she told me that she was on birth control. We had discussed this prior and we had decided to hold off on having kids until at least five years later when we were both set, so I was sure that we would safely abort. I thought that I'd just be there to comfort her and give her time to process what's happening.
Starting point is 00:13:08 Three weeks later, she tells me she wants to keep it. I keep pleading with her, telling her that I'm not ready, and we're not going to be okay financially, but she insisted this is what she wants, and that will be happy. I firmly told her that I was not on board and she responded saying that it was her sole decision and she'd made up her mind. We decided to take a break from each other because of the constant fighting and eventually decide to part ways. I spoke to my parents about this and while I was initially planning to stay back and help raise the kid, they convinced me that
Starting point is 00:13:41 it's best if I leave the country. My father was a dual citizen of both the US and another country, which I also inherited. We spoke to multiple lawyers, and I knew that I would be untouchable by US courts, and there weren't any enforceable child support treaties with that country. Last I heard, she had a successful pregnancy, and was reaching out to all of our mutual contacts to try to reach me. I only disclosed this information to a few close friends who thankfully didn't share anything with her. I do sometimes wonder what it would have been like to raise the child and I wish her well.
Starting point is 00:14:16 But not having any say in the final decision and being forced into it still gives me nightmares. Our next Reddit post is from Inundated with Bros. Two weeks ago, me and my girlfriend were walking home while a little drunk after a party, and we were robbed by an armed mugger. The guy stopped us, pulled out his firearm, and told us to give him our stuff. I immediately gave him my wallet and phone. My girlfriend decided to be difficult. I don't know why.
Starting point is 00:14:44 She's usually very smart, but this is the stupidest thing I've ever seen her done. She refused to give him her phone or purse. She decided that the best course of action was to argue with him. She kept yelling at me to do something, which led to the guy keeping his gun trained on me the entire time.
Starting point is 00:15:02 She was just doing too much. She had no sense of self-preservation, and it was very clear she valued her material possessions more than my life. Eventually, I took both from her, gave it to the guy, and he ran off. Afterwards, she was pissed at me for keeping us both alive. I grew up in the hood, and I've had stuff like this happen to me more than once. I know the best way to make it out of these situations is to just give them your stuff so they'll leave. Yeah, it affects sucks losing money, but that's a lot better than getting hurt or worse in the streets over a few hundred bucks. Both of our lives are worth more than that, but she apparently didn't see it that way.
Starting point is 00:15:41 Her utter lack of desire to keep both of us alive over money is a huge wake up call to me. Like, if she's gonna be this effing stupid in a potentially life or death situation, then how can I trust her to be with me throughout the rest of my life? Well, that's a thing OP. You can't. The way that your girlfriend responded was horrifying, and you're lucky that you didn't get shot. Down in the comments we have some pretty crazy stories. Amy G. Dallard says, I know a guy who got shot in the head during a Craigslist sale gone robbery. It was over 200 bucks. He somehow lived, but yeah, he
Starting point is 00:16:18 refused to hand over the $200 item. And then another story from Elshop. My friends husband died because he tried to fight a car jacker. They murdered him and took his car anyway. My wife and I live in a big city. We've had a couple of conversations about this. Rule number one is absolutely give them whatever they want. I can replace the phone, car, credit card. I can't replace my wife. I can't believe your girlfriend was that dumb to risk both of your lives over material
Starting point is 00:16:48 things. That was our slash true off my chest, and if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.

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