Rural Concerns - 3 wishes, CEX & the dazzling aurora

Episode Date: May 21, 2024

The episode of Rural Concerns is brought to you by The Horse Shop! As well as (finally) getting to grips with world politics, Sunil takes us through his latest Blu Ray haul, Chris forgets to look up and Producer James pronounces ‘Lidl’ like an absolute maniac. Lock him up, he’s the Joker! Great news! You can now support Rural Concerns on Patreon! For more check out https://patreon.com/RuralConcerns. We’d love to say we’ll put your donation towards our production costs, but the truth is we’re taking every single penny into CEX. You can also email us at [e-mail] and we’ll investigate your very own Rural Concerns. Our artwork? Poppy Hillstead! Our music? Sam ‘adult magicians are cool’ O’Leary [www.samoleary.com]. Rural Concerns was produced by Egg Mountain for A Lovely Time Productions.

I'll talk first. That's me. You ready? Ah! Welcome to Mobile Concerns, the podcast where two lads from London feel sick with jealousy because I've got a massive house and it costs less than they spend on little pistachio lattes. Yum, yum, yum. You all right? You all right, lads? Where do you get... You can't even get pistachio lattes. That's not a thing either. What is it then?

Pistachio latte. Right. I love that this, I love that this. The guy in the garage is lying to you. I love that this is the saving comeback. Absolutely stick with jealousy.

Sounds disgusting a pistachio latte. Stick with jealousy. You're like matcha latte. Is that what you meant? Oh God. Yeah, you can get that. We don't have good

coffee culture, but we have big houses. I know which one I'd rather have. Let's do the episode. Ba-da-bow. Do I need headphones? No, because you put echo cancellation on. I just said I wasn't using headphones on it.

It just turns it on automatically then, does it? Yeah. Oh, very clever. So that's what happens when you click headphones or not. It's whether you do or don't have that on. How do we start? Should we just open? Should we just talk about world politics for a minute?

No. Oh yeah, because we've done the intros and outros, have we? They'll be done separately, yeah. Will you start talking about Palestine then? I, yeah. No. No, come on now. It needs to be, it's we're 10 episodes in. We need to, we need to get this figured out

because this is mad. Right. Should we start now then? Let's start now. All I'm saying is, I think everybody in the world should be mates. That's it.

That's common sense. Are you going to do your no walls theory again? Oh yeah. No, there should be no walls. Walls should be illegal. Yeah. Instead of toilet doors, they should have just the string. If you agree with that, if you agree that There should be no walls. Walls should be illegal. Yeah, instead of toilet doors, they should have just...

If you agree that everyone should be made and no walls should be legal, leave us a five-star review on Apple Podcasts. That's very easy to disagree with, Chris. We will take this down by brick. Come on. How many people in the world don't want walls? Exactly.

Not very few. You're in the pocket of big glaziers. Yeah, yeah. I don't want walls exactly not very few so you're in the pocket of big glaziers yeah yeah i don't want to be i i've actually done i've got a 2-1 in politics have you yeah how have you got how have you got a degree in politics you've never talked politics in your life yeah but look at my life i live like basically um maneuvering the comedy ecosystem is like basically navigating with a like a sort of feudal baron into do you know i mean it's a very medieval they teach you at university is it well i did i think i did it i stood i did it i wasn't bad at it and i really enjoyed it and i like i studied like nuclear politics loads of stuff like that.

What's nuclear politics? Is that like two- The specific geopolitical situation that emerges when nation states get nuclear weapons. Oh, like game theory. Yeah, exactly. That sort of thing. Like the race to get in the arms. What happens when these weapons exist?

Saying this, I watched Oppenheimer last week and I watched the first half with Nicola, my wife, and she was like, what is going on? Who are these men just talking and talking and talking? This is boring. So she left. So I watched it and I was like, this is a great film. And then, to be totally honest

with you we basically bought some edibles six months ago and she was away for the week so i was like let's just get these finished off and i could not tell you what happened in the second half and it was just like i thought it was the maddest most i thought it was like a film that had real madness in it do you know i mean like the way it was shot maddest, most... I thought it was like a film that had real madness in it. Do you know what I mean? Like the way it was shot and written and put together. There's like a real vibe of insanity running underneath it. I liked the bit in it where the bomb went off.

Yeah, I thought that bit was good. Yeah. Also, I've talked about this on another podcast, but when you watch it at the IMAX, you're not expecting like a hundred foot view of florence pugh's tits it's just a shock you know no film about the nuclear bomb but yeah i think this is what my wife was like there's no there's hardly any women in it and one of them's just had the tits out for 60 percent of the time that they're on screen and i'm like this was the 50s or 40s that shows how much close attention i was paying this

was the recent past this is what women did yeah you know it wasn't the 50s though don't you a big time because i i studied politics to an international level, to a top league level. To an international level. To an international level. You're a top international politics student. I feel like the more I'm talking about this, the less I sound like it. You should never have mentioned it. No.

I've got a two-year in politics and sociology. James, have you got a degree? I've got a drama degree, of course. But you actually seem like the one that's most practical yeah no it turns out i'm not i would have thought you'd have a geography degree fuck off fuck off sonny got a degree i dropped geography at the first possible chance what do you got a degree in the university of life hedge funds nfts Edge Funds. NFTs. Speaking of which, we have not come out of the top 200 on Apple Podcasts for the Cayman Islands.

Wowee. Is that where your Apple Music accounts are located? Is that where I'm laundering my money? No, I did a business degree, didn't I? Did you? As you can tell. I don't know what a business degree is. We do.

When me and Sonal are on the blower, these are the most lighthearted chats that we have. When it's just me and him and we're not being observed, we talk about business theory and strategy quite hard. And I love it. I love it. Machiavelli, that kind of stuff as well. Talk about what?

We talk about Machiavelli as well. Yeah, talk about Machiavelli. Political intrigue and how to basically, um, I think it's how to essentially how to come out on top of the pile. Right. I think that's what we talk about simultaneously. I'm going to admit that during these working hours,

when we do schedule these chats, we should be doing work. Um, yeah, business degree, which actually I can't remember any of it is actually i think it's absolutely a waste of time i think i would say and i don't mean to speak for all well both of you but i think all our degrees are a waste of time except james's we did a mime segment yeah

so you know i get a lot out of that okay it means that when you could pretend that your internet's gone and really sell it when you want to bounce out of this call. Do you know what I mean? Absolutely. Beef, beef, beef, beef. No, I think we went to uni in the golden age. Not the golden age. The golden age was when it was free.

But ours was comparatively not a huge money sink compared to like i got some great friends but i don't believe that they are worth the 80 to 100 grand or whatever kids have to pay now at uni i mean i think i'd be i'd tell my son i'd give him like a thousand pounds i'd be like i think you can get two real good mates with this i I don't know what you're going to do with it, but. Well, you guys, I mean,

it is hard to make friends if you're not put together in a sort of environment, isn't it? I mean, as you've, as you've demonstrated, Chris, if you're not in an intense environment with other people,

you, you know, you probably won't make friends. Right. Oh, I have made friends actually. So. No, I mean, in the village, you know, you're not like you're suddenly in a new environment but it's not like you've all got to get smashed every

wednesday night is it it's basically freshers week every week in your village isn't it yeah i'll tell you what i will tell you and it brings us on to one of the talking points uh i do have friends actually there's a couple that are it's a couple that are... It's a couple of builders. It's a couple of builders. Builder again, all right. I pay him an amount of money a day. Did you make a new friend at the tip, Chris? Yeah, yeah. He told me, he said, don't put that in there.

That's timber. He said toilet seats, technically you have to pay for them. You have to pay for toilet seats in our tip, by the way. You have to pay for what you have to pay for toilet seats in our tip by the way you have to pay to throw them away to throw them away because it counts as like diy or some bullshit or not that like up from diy well it's just a bit of wood or plastic you mean sorry to hear that yeah furious you're getting rid of your toilet seats are you well yeah getting a soft close installed um okay also we'll get back to i'm gonna be getting i'm gonna get be getting a japanese wash your bum i was about to ask you you have to get one

surely i've got access to one it's just the installation what do you make because you need a combination plumber electrician yeah it's like fitting a shower oh yeah of course but for your ass but for your ass yeah we can't be asked without level we can't be asked but getting trying to get one of them a plumber or an electrician is basically it's like trying to summon a genie into it so it's it's like this is why we are not the infrastructure of the uk does not support a japanese computer grade if you um if you had three if you had three wishes to ask an electrician what would they be infrastructure of the UK does not support a Japanese computer grade. If you had three,

if you had three wishes to ask an electrician, what would they be Chris? None of them could be. Are you my friend? Will you come to my comedy gig? No. Well, what could,

what could, what could I ask an electrician? Could you just rewind my arms like that yeah I don't really think I need two more wishes can you make sure those

ethernet can you make sure those ethernet cables are real drum tight like yeah have a go on

his van maybe have a drive around in his van you can drive his van. Have all spools of wire sloshing around it back while we do wheelies. That's two wishes.

No, they're not wishes. These are things that could, like, do you know what I mean? The magic element. Do that. And then go Mackie's drive-thru. Three wishes. That's three wishes all done. Fully rewired house. and then go Mackey's drive-thru three wishes that's three wishes all done fully

fully rewired house uh donuts in a van and finishing off with Mackey's drive-thru best day of my life with my best friend

Tony the electrician and then your wife's gonna come and pick you up from that McDonald's and take you home and just as we're leaving he goes he goes

wait wait wait white window down there's your invoice for today sir i've got another friend just on this and then we'll talk about the stuff um another friend has emerged called uh robert the plumber because i've sprung a leak and I tried taking, I'm just like, I'm committed to doing more masculine DIY related activities. So my dad showed me how to take a radiator off at his house,

where all these radiators and stuff are almost brand new and in really good maintained Nick. And I came here to the dog bordello and tried to take a radio off myself. And I like absolutely fucked one side of it. So it's leaking. So I've had to bring in a plumber and my confidence has gone. My dad knows he can see it, but I'm going to come back to it. I'm going to take another one off.

So Robert, the plumber came around. He's coming back thursday and i know a true friend would come back thursday you know does he does he know that you've you fucked it up um he can tell yeah because i don't i don't lie about stuff like this anymore i don't lie because he just my life's been too much like an episode of Keenan and Kel, you know, where you try and tell a lie to hide a secret and then it ends up bigger. So now I'm just like, yeah, I messed it up because I'm an idiot. Can you fix it for me?

That's what I want. And can you be my friend? And can you be my friend? And these are the opening hours for Mackie's drive-thru. But I have, in other friend-related news, I have now acquired via my wife two, three, four new friends in the village. I've mentioned them briefly, but basically they're the young ones.

We're the young ones in the village, all minimum 40 years old. Uh, but we're the tearaway teens at a village because the general age is very high in the eighties. So we average it out. But the other night, uh, I was out at a barbecue type thing, drinking in the garden, drinking beer in the garden. And I thought I'd stop drinking alcohol because i was like i don't need this you know i mean turns out no one had asked me to have a pint in basically

two years you know i mean so my my like abstinence from alcohol was directly connected to having no friends so when someone said you want a beer i couldn't have said yes any quicker yeah um and i had a great time so much so that i missed the northern lights that were visible over the like my village and i think most of the uk uh like a rare sort of lunar event yeah i i knew they were happening but i didn't see him i was i was out in the open and i was in Dorset when they were on. You should have seen them then though. No idea. No, I was outdoors in a cocktail bar.

See, this is it. I was just having too much of a good time. I was outside somebody's house. What time was it supposed to be on? This was like, I was out till like- Between 11 and 1. I was out at half 11 on a Friday night. I was back home watching YouTube videos.

Yeah. But I just didn't look up. Yeah. And that's what annoys me. It was there for the taking and all I needed to do was look up. I live in a dark skies area. Do you know what I mean? Like pigs, isn't it?

Like pigs? How's it like pigs? Because they can't look up can they? Yeah. Pigs can look up. Can they? Yes.

We've discussed this on another podcast from now. Have you two discussed this on another podcast? We have, yeah. It was whether

pigs can look up or not. Oh, I don't like that. I don't like how that feels. Don't talk... I'm sorry. I don't think we were feels. Don't talk. I'm sorry. I don't think we were talking about you when we were talking about camping.

I can't say that we weren't. The thing is, I'm not going to give up on that. I'm not going to believe that they can because it's, it's too late for me to change. That's a fact for life for me. And I'm not going to change it. I think that's a good thing to lead with a party.

Cause it feels like no one's going to sense check that, are they? No, no. What do you talk about when you're talking to new people and, you know, where you are? Because, like, you, you, you know, you're, you know, you're not, like, from there. You know, well, you know, you're a, you know what you are. I know what I am.

I'm sort of largely settled to what I am and it's fine. My son's been going to cricket in the area, which I don't know who it is. And it's so nice. The people that run it is so friendly. But it basically attracts like the kids and the parents, like the most middle-class parents that I've ever met. You know, like a guy in a polo neck with boating shoes on and stuff

like that like we're very very inland I don't know where he's come from but they're like they're very middle class and suddenly I feel like a big thumb do you know what I mean and no one's really talking to me because I'm not an account manager at KPMG. When don't you start wearing white polo necks? I think I might have to do, but I'll give the game away because they're all like proper office grade PAYE boys, whereas I'm a bit of a, do you know, they're like, what do you do? And I'm self-employed, so I'm probably like

you. My first response is always what do you need? I can do it. I'll figure it out. Well, they won't get you in for any plumbing will they no where are you playing cricket because like i would have thought the area that you live in you'd get nobody that really works in an office it's near one of the slightly bigger villages which is like near a big town well then there's a, it's near an old monastery type building, a priory that's like a national trust type thing. And it's in a field next to there.

There's a lot of people up here in the hedgerows and stuff. And I went to a party at Christmas last year. No, I didn't mean that. I didn't mean, there's no actual people in the hedgerows. It's not like a halfling situation. They're not hobbits. There's no hobbits in the countryside, as I've seen, but they're quickens. Have you misheard someone talking about hedge funds?

No, just what I'm saying is in the rabbit warren, what is like the little villages, there's lots of little places for middle-class people to hide. Do you know what I mean? As they should. You are middle-class class let's not forget yeah but when i'm with these or so i feel out of place everywhere when i'm with like the people in the village i feel like oh like like a lad who's got a hanky or something you know i mean like a

real hoity-toity type but then when i go to these like proper middle class people last christmas i ended up getting invited to like a like nicola wasn't there she was away it was like one of the kids in george's classes parents were having a christmas party and it was basically like all the middle class people and they were basically there was a big chunk of them that second home where we live they live in london but they they are half residents of the of the village or thereabouts and i was like where where do these people come from and there was a lady he was lovely but so posh and she has like a horse training shop yeah you know she has like a shop where people come to train horses um yeah and my mother-in-law and this is a shop is it is it a shop well you pay money and

then they look after your horse or i'll show you how you ride a horse it's a tailor's oldest time which high street is this it's uh yeah i think they shut down is it on an industrialist an out-of-town industrial estate is it a bit it's got to be a big shot with curry's pc world just but like my mother-in-law was showing me around this party and basically in this environment she's like oh bigging me up a lot do you know i mean this is my like not quite this but this is my son-in-law he's been on radio for you know like that and i'm like oh god and i was talking to this very posh girl and i said oh you're right i'm ch. And the posh girl was like, Bruce? And I was like, no, it's Chris. And then my mother-in-law was like, Chris, you told her Bruce.

And I went, I said, excuse me, Jenny. I didn't get my own name wrong. I think they're out a bit. But what happened is, which was too polite to say, I was just not, I was so incredibly, I basically cased these people. Do you know what I mean? The bird?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. The cestral, like. They're worried you're going to peck their eyes. Completely indecipherable. But they know a natural predator. I've seen you hovering around the lay-by. I think we should veer away from class because it's a poisoned chalice and James has already set me off consistently going in on lads

who wear tracksuits. I think it's a murky minefield. We've done the war in the world. We've done all the wars in the world and class. I think we need to get them to safer ground quickly. So, Neil, what's been going on? I had a lovely London day out the other day. Go on, then.

Went to the CEX on Woolworth Road and used up some of the voucher that I had. Looked up what stuff they had online first, you know, ended up with NBA 2K23, Hitman 3. Yeah. And this is the one,

Equalizer 1, 2 and 3 on Blu-ray. Right. What do you think of that? Is that the Denzel Washington's? That's correct, yeah. It's the third one where he goes to Italy. That's right. It's brilliant.

I'm not saying it. It's absolutely beautiful. Just the name of the shop. Did you see the advert for it during lockdown? No, did they do an advert? Yeah, they did an advert. And we like the time that Lidl did an advert and we all learned that it's actually pronounced Lidl.

It's pronounced sex, isn't it? It is pronounced sex. They are sex shops. I went to the sex shop. Is that what it is? Yeah. I think it was supposed to be like,

you know, funny when it opened. I love CX. Yeah, but apparently their logo was designed by Charlie Brooker. I heard like, cause he used to work for him a million years ago. Oh,

right. But I love CX. I heard like, cause he used to work for him a million years ago. Oh, right. But I love CEX. I could talk about CEX all day. I think it basically keeps the, there's an element of society that CEX keeps running, doesn't it? It's like a, it's like a very fun pawn shop into,

for. There are some bleak stories walking into that shop. Yeah. It had some great deals coming out i was there like just paying for my stuff and this um this old man sort of like sort of waddled waddled in with one of those shopper trolleys and then he said i'd like to um i'd like to sell some dvds like i was like okay every single inch of that shopping trolley was full of dvds and he was just pile after pile just fistful of dvds like

all there's like miscongeniality all sorts of stuff just like popping out and the guy was just it wasn't angry because they're not allowed to get angry but he was like right i'm gonna be here for about an hour and a half having to sort through these but i stuck around hovering over him to see if there's anything i wanted for a bit but miscongongeniality 2, I'm the populist. Miscongeniality. Completely unmarked. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Almost as if no one opened it to watch it in the first place. But there's a few.

So I'm now, the next CEX on the list I'm going to go to is Deptford. That one seems to have a lot of good films, actually. Sorry, Sunil, did you see how much he got for his shopping cart? No, because, well, it would have been I think less than a pound.

Because the trade-in value of a DVD is roughly one penny. So he did that, got his quid, put it straight back into a company. Back into one DVD. Into one DVD to get out and start the cycle again. Yeah, that was my big day out uh apart from that

i've just been working on myself uh paying for various medical things oh don't look at me like that okay physio for my knee oh all right i didn't realize that because all i was like oh i should get some stuff sorted out because i'm not doing much at the moment so i just like you can just book it online and turn up i had no idea and my knee hurt a bit so I thought oh I'll just go to the physio she was just as soon as she said

it was fine it stopped hurting so it's up here it's upstairs it's upstairs that's the thing she loved it better said you can call me anytime

and that should be better now so you're like you're not getting the upstairs sorted out I hope there's upstairs you should never touch you should only drive you forward it's too that if we fix what's in your head your legendary industry bar setting drive yeah he's gonna just disappear to nothing and he'll just be happy just

to sit at home and watch miss congeniality 2. I'm doing fabulous. Yeah, and then I went to the dentist. Oh, what state are your teeth in? Honestly, like not bad. Yeah, I'm like medium. I wish you could get a third set, I think, in general. You're only second already. Yeah, you are, aren't you? I had a friend that had baby teeth until he was quite old.

You know, like a late teenager with baby teeth it's weird isn't it you know it wasn't me i've got i've got adult i've got adult teeth great adult teeth really grown up teeth yeah i've got you don't have any teeth out um i've had some wisdom teeth out but i think i got like I think I got my first fill-in in recent history, and it sort of really garbled my head. Do you know what I mean? Why? They drilled too far.

They drilled too far. You checking out signals? What's happening? Yeah. Opened it up, opened up the cavity, and it was just, I could hear Satan say, burn the dentist down. Now, I've got a dentist who's 26 years old or something like that. Do you know what I mean?

Wow. Wowee. Mine also does Botox in the other room. Did it? So it's a one-stop shop for you, really. Yeah. It's a brand new clinic. Went in, and as I was leaning back, I looked up,

and he's fixed a TV up to the ceiling. So you can watch, you can't watch what you want. It's just a scene of some boats. God, Jesus. What are the small boats? Little boats in a little fishing village. So you're watching,

you have to watch. So you're having your teeth drilled right down to nerve while you're watching Rishi Sunak. So send in the small boats back or something like that. Jesus Christ, that sounds like some out-of-clock work, Orange. Yeah, if I remember correctly it was scenes of Dunkirk footage.

Yeah. Mine's got a Where's Wally. What, to look at up on the ceiling? Hmm. Well, once you've done it once though. I don't think it is actually a Where's Wally.

I think it's just a picture of a lot of cartoon dinosaurs and they say it's a Where's Wally. On the ceiling? That's not for you, James, is it? That's for the children. I go to the children's dentist. I'm Chris's friend who had baby teeth until...

Still in an NHS loophole. Still gets it for free. Maybe they think he's got that, do you know that disease that Robin Williams had in that film Jack? You know, when he was, it was like a little kid, but it was in the body of a 45, 50 year old man.

Yes. Maybe, maybe your dentist thinks that you've got that. But with teeth. But with teeth. Summary, three winning smiles for three top plans. Right. So shall we do... do you want to do corrections i've had a couple of corrections from having the episodes out in the world they are largely coming from my own village. A couple of big supporters. We've got, first off, a correction from Andy DeBaker, who owns the local cafe in my village.

Is that House of Mac, by the way? That's House of Mac, which I've talked about before. You talked about that on my other podcast. Yeah, delicious. Summary, the essential place to stop off to if you are walking or near Hadrian's Wall. Oh, bloody hell. If you just want to drive to find a really tasty food place,

you know, like lovely food, then hey, house of Meg. But the thing that they do that's really- What do they specialise in? They specialise in the, for my money, then hey, house of Meg. But the thing that they do that's really- What do they specialize in? They specialize in the, for my money, the world's most delicious tray bakes. The guy is basically, Andy's basically like Willy Wonka, but we're talking about a millionaire shortbread slice that is like it's short it's shortbread and then a wedge of caramel

that is bigger than you like it's longer than your thumb do you know what i mean the length the height the height of the caramel is as long as a human thumb and on top of that you've got a couple of centimeters of chocolate on top of that you've got got a couple of centimetres of chocolate. On top of that, you've got like a bit of Bloody Mars bar or something or a mini egg. Do you know what I mean? He's just thinking outside the box. He does a biscotti type thing, biscotti rocky road. Like he's just like, you know, like that guy from Saw, Jigsaw.

He's like that, but for confectionery. How do we buy these? You come to visit your good friend. Oh, for fuck's sake. In the middle of nowhere. And I'll bring you a platter. I'll bring you a platter. Can you bring some down to London next time?

Yeah, I will do the next time. Oh, yes. A couple of tree breaks. We could do a little tasting session. We've never been in a room together. Who have? Me and you. could do a little tasting session but we've never been in a room together who have me and you the three of us

no we've never I saw James recently last week did you well he came to that preview that you didn't come to

that's alright you're busy where was that in Bill Murray Bill Murray no one told me that it was alright it was good

what day was that Tuesday 30th of April. I was just getting my haircut in the day. I had nothing in the evening. I didn't ask. I was too shy. Yeah. But James was there.

Too shy to ask your actual friends. Yeah. I forgot how tall he is. How tall is he? Yeah. Yes. Well tall. I never forget.

How tall is he? He's very tall. So much so that when we were talking, I was like, okay, let's crunch podcast chat. But we stood on the road and I had to make him stand on the road while I stood on the pavement just to take a couple of inches off of him. Do you know what I mean? I was intimidated.

Power move. I like it. Yeah. I was like, get down on the road and can you lift me up a bit? That feels right. So, sorry, I derailed the corrections. That was silly of me. That was your fault.

I just wanted to hear you say Treybakes. Yes. I love a Treybake. I love Andy who makes the Treybakes. Andy the baker says to me that in a previous episode, I was chatting. It's almost as if this podcast includes basically no research at all. But I was just willy-nilly saying that there are no nudists in my village. And apparently that is incorrect.

I don't know much about this situation, but there are reports of a nudist living in the village, operating up in the forest on the hill. And apparently they've been spotted running around, having a good time. I don't think there's any malice there. I don't think anything shady has happened, but running amongst the trees. So I need to now obviously find and befriend this nudist

and add him to my menagerie of strange men. And hey, if he's a plasterer, then, you know, fair enough. So he's just frolicking. I think he's just frolicking in the woods, but that's what the countryside's for, isn't it? Has he got shoes on? I don't know. That wasn't clear. Because if he's got shoes on think he's just frolicking in the woods, but that's what the countryside's for, isn't it? Has he got shoes on? I don't know. That wasn't clear.

Because if he's got shoes on, he's frolicking. If he hasn't, he's gone mad. Andy, I think I need more information. He listens to this podcast on his way to the gym

like every Thursday, which I think is not the ideal environment to consume this podcast. Getting amped up with this. We need to know more about this nudist. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. And we need access to Tr up with this. We need to know more about this nudist. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And we need access to Trey Bakes. We need access. And if you are a serious fan, you can do three things for us. One, give us more information on the nudist. Two, send Rural Concerns a complimentary box of like a sort of a menagerie of your Trey Bakes. Like not like two of one thing but we want like one of each thing you know like a brownie with white chocolate lumps in

we want a blondie we want like a bit of carrot cake whatever you've got but we want one of each to sample it and we will make a video of us eating it all and we will put it on the internet for 12 people to like do you know i mean you can't you can't get better marketing than this and i think i think we should um andy i suppose i should address it to andy andy i don't know if you've heard of an outfit called the flap jackery he's not going to reply is he immediately i think we need at least two weeks there is an outfit called the flapjackery which

posts its flapjacks around the world maybe it's something you could think about is that a weed thing? no no it's just flapjacks you can put your weed in if you want but yeah but maybe if you want someone to help with that I've got a business degree Chris knows about nuclear politics and James I'll just be on vibes we could run a business for him all of us together

working in unison that's what it's all about the boys just making money hand over fist with flapjacks not flapjacks trey bakes come on now and uh to the second correction. It's all right. That's correction number one. And I think Andy would, yeah, I would be very surprised if we didn't hear from Andy again. But also not that surprised if he blocks me on Facebook. Correction two comes from Dave the Decorator. I've mentioned before before watching this man work he's a cockney as well

or something like that do you know he's southern just ended up living here and you're like lovely guy what's his voice sound like? it's like you're like Chris

like that how you doing listening to the podcast you know like that he's a good lad what he can do I'm going to get him to paint my hallway when we've got no money, just because otherwise

it'll take me literally 20 years. Do you know what I mean? But he listens to his podcast a lot, which is really nice. But apparently in another episode, when we were talking about me finding a Druid male support group. We talked about like, you know, maybe we'd be sacrificing virgins. And Dave says,

not sure you'll find any virgins in this neck of the woods. You'll have to bus them in, which is, I think like, I think, thank you for the continued support, Dave, but I'm not really sure that's the right term we're going for this podcast. Yeah. Come on. Come on now.

Boys will be boys. Boys will be boys, but, you know. There has to be a line. What's the line? I don't know. No buses. Is that the end of the corrections i think so pretty much all right great but that's the end of corrections so far yeah the thing is we've done quite well on corrections because a lot of these episodes nobody else has listened to them because

they're all done internally so what i'm worried is that now we seem to have opened like a Pandora's box of people pulling us up on the stuff that we're half-assed and not checking out at all. And I, for one, don't care for it. Rural Concerns was produced by Egg Mountain for A Lovely Time Productions. Our artwork, that was by Poppy Hillstead, yo. And our music, well, that was bashed out as quickly as possible by Samuel Lurie. And it really does mean the world that you're listening to this. But if you'd like to go one step further,

you can now support Rural Concerns on Patreon. We have two tiers. They're both cheaper than the cost of a pint. And you'll get access to bonus content, including bonus episodes, as well as some pictures of Chris's dilapidated countryside mansion. And Sunil, couldn't I get you to promise that you will give people the postcode to the secret pub that you found under hidden under a restaurant?

Yeah. Why does everyone want to know that? Because it's open late. You branded it as a secret. It's open late. It's empty. Everyone, this podcast is driven on the back of secrets. Only in the Patreon. Done. Only in the Patreon. Done. Full postcard. And if you'd like us to discuss your rural concerns, email us

at christopher at alovelytime.co.uk or drop us a DM on Insta at Rural Concerns. That'd be just Chris because I don't look at that. I don't have a login, do I? You don't need a login. What are you going to do?

Look at boobies. I'm going to do that line again just because I couldn't get through the full sentence. It's my fault for writing it so eruditely. You know what I mean? There's a lot of stuff. It might not all make it into this next episode. Do not read The Tavern of the Deviants.

I want that. I want you to go in fresh into that one.