Rural Concerns - Camping, poolside lagers & Dr Oetker

Episode Date: June 4, 2024

A midge-bitten Chris considers his family camping holiday, Producer James tries to sign his children up for national service and a very well rested Sunil reveals the taste of summer. Plus, Dr Ganja returns! Get in touch! Drop your rural concerns to [e-mail]. You can support the lads on Patreon for less than the price of a fancy London pint! For bonus episodes and access to ‘The Creamery’ head to https://patreon.com/RuralConcerns Our music is by Sam O’Leary [www.samoleary.com] and our music is by Poppy Hillstead. Our first pass edit is done by Joseph Burrows. Rural Concerns was produced by Egg Mountain for A Lovely Time Productions. Disclaimer: We love the King!  

Intro 1, Chrissie? Yep, I'm just looking at intro 1. Okay, you ready James? Yeah. intro one Chrissy yep just intro one okay you ready James yeah James are you ready though I don't know maybe you stopped the recording maybe

you want to maybe I did maybe you want to give notes or something like that I don't know sorry I've been on professional radio and it shows. I'll keep this all the way down.

Okay, okay. I'm doing it, I'm doing it. Listen, I'm going to go into proper presenter voice. Go on, yeah, looking forward to this one. Go on. Welcome to Wirral Concerns, the podcast where the banter is like gold-top milk. Aye-aye. My internet's gone. Oh, fucking hell. You've suddenly gone.

You've suddenly gone. Did you turn it off? No, you just completely cut out. No, the internet. That was brilliant. Where the banter is. He's going for the big chop. It was perfect.

Did you do that, James? Did you prank me? No, no, your internet cut out at that exact point and then came back in. Oh, fuck off, man. Should we do it? Should I do one more? I looked up death rates from Brazilian butt lifts

the other day. They can't get accurate enough figures, but it's something like between 1 in 2,000 to 1 in 4,000 die off it. Jesusesus which is actually quite high isn't it that's like my wife went to she she just come back from a week she had to go to cairo for work for a week and she was saying that the driving is so insane over there do you know what i mean like uh just you don't indicate you just pull out there's no like yeah you don't over like you undertake your overtakes yeah it's just mad and i was like yeah but don't

worry about that because that it's just a different culture and there isn't a right or a wrong way of driving it's just a different mindset culturally anyway so i ran it i ran like egyptian road safety through google and so like we're talking about 200 people a day die from traffic accidents and i was like yeah maybe what from being in the car or being hit by one i don't know like but those numbers let's get the breakdown let's get the breakdown let's let's see who's safer yeah i mean yeah yeah yeah i've got nothing to add to that so i shouldn't have said yeah no you did it was like in terms of conversation and improv and stuff it was very much like you took i passed the baton to you and you took it yeah i know you passed it to me and then i i just wanted to throw it back yeah you haven't you haven't you haven't

i was gonna say have you have you driven through London? That's what I was going to say. I have. Every time I go to London, I'm paying at least £180 in fines. Because I can't understand how to pay the congestion charge. So I always have to pay the penalty fine. Because I've paid it. Last time I was down, I paid it. I thought I prepaid it.

I paid £50 to something. To a man. Did a man flag you over, flag you down as you came in? Yeah, I got my wallet out. He inspected my wallet for me. He really helped me out. So I paid £50 in advance for something, but then still got a, you haven't paid your congestion charge,

you owe £80 in arrears. So I did that twice. What did you pay £50 for? I don't know. I tried my best. It's an impenetrable system. It's not. You go onto the congestion charge website and pay it.

So I did that. I ran a red light. So it cost me basically, I could have flown, I could have gone to Egypt for this money, the money that's flying around. It's just, it's unknowable. It's unknowable.

I can categorically say it's not unknowable because there are signs everywhere and you can just go online and pay it. No, I'm not taking that. That's on. I'm not taking, I'm not taking that conversational. That's on.

I want this conversation to stop. I want it to end. So now can I ask you a question yes this is awkward but i think we should have it on i think we should have this conversation on air have you changed your instagram settings so that you can now no longer be invited to partake in our reels to promote this podcast yes or no no i haven't but what i have done is deleted instagram off my phone so i can access it via like a web browser on my phone but that's a clunky process do you want me to go and do it now i've got an old phone that i've got instagram on no i haven't i couldn't add you in anything so i I was like, I thought, I don't know how he's done it,

but he's managed to find a way to do less. Yeah, after you threw me under the bus in the last episode. I was asking you to do one thing that was except one reel, one support night. And he was like, nah, I'm getting out of this. You not only threw me under the bus, you also threw James under the bus as well. What are we talking about?

Oh, come on. Can't you remember what we're talking about? Why have you deleted Instagram off your phone? I got a new phone and I thought it might be a good chance to get all the social media off it and just have it on it. So when I'm out and about, I can't go on social media and just waste my time on a bus or a train or something like that. And then if I've, when I get home,

if I want to have a look at social media, I'll go on my old phone, which is still on. What do you, what do you, what do you do then when you're on a bus

or a train? Do you, honestly, do you have a lingo or something? I haven't been doing a lot. I've just been staring into space, listening to music. It's been interesting.

I'll tell you that for now. It's been very interesting. But I've been on holiday as well, so i've not had any reason to be bored recently but we'll see how the next week goes when i got nothing on wait a minute i'm gonna do it don't james don't put this in i'm gonna put a good segue in so sunil you turned 180 degrees away from the mic to begin that segue and raised your right hand. Are you playing cricket or something? No, let me do the same, Chris. You do your thing.

Go on. Hey now, Sunil. Hey now, Chris. Sunil, you look, if you don't mind me saying. Don't say it. Are you going to say tanned? No. Jesus Christ, no. I was going to say tanned? No. Jesus Christ, no.

I was going to say incredibly well rested. No, don't. Don't put me in that box. I thought we were having a laugh between friends. Just a bit of banter, you know. We won't be laughing about that, please. And thank you. I have actually got a tan though.

I've got a tan. Yeah. And why do you have a tan? Because I've been to the island of Menorca. Ooh. Ooh. I'm interested in knowing why. I mean, I've told you that before, Chris,

but in the sort of document you sent out about this episode, you wrote down fresh pasta and siestas, which are two things you can get in two separate countries. But do the Italians have siestas? Well, I don't think so. I don't think so. Yeah, I think with the Italians, they're not really working enough to warrant a break.

All right. Okay, come on. Oh, now it is. Now it is. There's the edit point. Ad break. Ad break. Ad break. Dr. Oetker's pizza.

You know, Dr. Oetker says on his pizzas, Italy's number one frozen pizza. And it feels like a linguistic trick, doesn't it? Yeah, it feels like a linguistic trick. I think what's going on there is, because those pizzas are not nice. They're delicious. Yeah, they are i used i was i was brought up on them i do like them a lot but yeah i think the gist is you know it's like

the italians will not have a frozen pizza i think they'll make them from scratch almost exclusively i think it's like trying to sell to us the UK's best frozen full English breakfast. And people will eat that. You know, people will eat that. I do think we give the Italians too much credit. I'm sure they absolutely like absolute trash.

No, they don't. They don't. Honestly, I've been to Italy the most recently of all the other countries. And I've been doing my Duolingo's enough to understand. I was sat on the beach and there was a big family next to us eating these amazing looking sandwiches that they brought in.

And I'd done enough Duolingo to understand what they were saying. And they were genuinely talking about what they were going to have for dinner. Like food is so important. But they're only having those sandwiches because they don't have an M&S or a Pret there. Yep. Oh, man.

What? The food is just so good. It is, yeah. It is so good. James is furious, furious at this. But you know what as well? Italians do. Little cigarettes, coffees,

mopeds. These are teenagers. This is... Do you know what I mean? They know how to live. They're not like our teenagers, just wearing black, carrying knives. Terrifying. Vape. Monster. Monkey bikes. Yeah. Little Vespa. Tiny

cigarette. Tiny coffee. Where are you going? I'm going now. I'm in love. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. But do bear in mind, I didn't go to Italy. Oh, yeah.

So to take it through, for somebody who is listening to this, like our friend, what's his name? There's a guy who listens to this in Canada. So to a Canada, where is Mallorca? Where is what, Chris? Where you went on your holiday. Yeah, Mallorca, that's right.

It's a small island off the coast of Mallorca. But what's Mallorca off the coast of? It's Spain. Right. I knew that. I'm thinking of the Canadian

listenership here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You didn't know how to say it. I was just having a pop at the fact you didn't even know how to say it. I was just having a pop at the fact you didn't even know how to say it. Maybe. I didn't quite hear that, so maybe if we speak clearly,

we'll pick up all the stinging burns. Very interesting. Yeah. Oh, please do. The wheels are coming off. Can we go back to my Spanish holiday? Yes. Right.

Menorca. Small island. Nice, but it's in Spain, but it's got all the good stuff like Burger King and Lidl and Mango Menswear. Those are the shops I saw there. They've got other shops there as well, such as McDonald's.

And I think H&M as well I saw there as well. I might be wrong, but I think H&M is... Dutch. Yes. And that is not near so that they've done well they've done well they've got the uk and tiny spanish islands do you know look i'll tell you what was uh interesting about my trip there the lagers that we got from little were 4.6 but we only realized about a day and a half in that we'd sunk a lot of Lidl lagers that were 4.6%.

And then we swung a full 180 to what I think is the best drink I've had in summer, and it's called a Radler. Now, a Radler is basically a Shandy. Oh, yes. But on the continent, it's a Shandy, not just with lemonade, but with grapefruit or other fruit drinks.

Absolutely game-changing. We're talking 2.6%. You can drink that all day and not have one of your mates up by the neck by 8pm. Oh, I felt seen with that comment. Okay, that sounds a rattler, like a continental lager cocktail. I tried to look for it in Sainsbury's yesterday.

Not available here. You've got to get them online somewhere. So it's a pre-made drink. You weren't mixing them yourself? No, no, no. You can if you want, but you can get grapefruit ones here if you're looking, but they're more like craft. What would you sub it with, like Rubicon?

Fizzy Rubicon. It would work, and that's what that's one thing it would work fizzy rubicon fosters there you go yeah that would oh what a treat our gift to you listener enjoy summer summer's here i did that also i paid six euros for toasty and a pint in in a place called kit gap bar that was good but this is the most interesting thing on my flight over um i was getting to my seat there was a man in it and i said sorry that's my seat and he said sorry and then he sat he sat next to us on the flight over turned out it's the actor david haig don't know if you've ever heard of him you'd recognize him if you google him he's been in lots of stuff i think think he's been in a lot of

big things uh comedy actor i will do that and we had a lovely chat about uh comedy and acting all the way oh yeah i saw him he had his head bashed in in crack that's it that's the one it was absolutely haunting i watched that way too young is he the one that went into the the room that you've mentioned a couple of episodes oh yeah that's him i think he walked into the room got battered to death what room walks into a room and it's covered in like bin bags oh right that's him is it just about realizes and then boom what a great callback to that yeah well i met him in person there you go that's insane wow yeah and he was a lovely man lovely man he recognized me i didn't i thought

i mean i recognized his face but i thought it was um is his voice i recognized but then yeah yeah that was him we had a good chat what did he recognize you from well he just said oh you've been working with dominic haven't you so he recognized me from the nationwide adverts from the curse from the yeah from the AI replacement ads. But that's my big news from my holiday. Can I ask more questions about the holiday? What sort of accommodation are you staying in? Is it a villa?

Right, okay, so you rented a villa. How many people? One, two, three, four, five, seven. What percentage of performers to not performers? 100%. No, one non-performer. Did they do the driving and get the bits? Yeah, they actually did, yeah. And the cooking, so yeah.

So one grown-up. Yeah, correct. How was that vibe? All good? Everyone relaxed and chilled? 100% good vibes. Swimming pool, lovely. A lot of tinnies, a lot of drinking, a lot of fun.

Thank you. A lot of chatting about business, social media metrics. Boys group set up on the side, immediately shut down by the rest of the group. All good, all good stuff. Like a WhatsApp group? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was referred to by one of the participants

as the most pathetic group he's ever been in. But yeah, really good. Really nice. Really relaxing. Any big ideas come to you? Like, do you know what I mean? Like, what are you going to do? I don't know.

Did Divine Inspiration hit by the poolside? No, I was reading a very good book called The Inner Game of Tennis, which is sort of one of the old, like, it's not that interesting. It's basically about just not overthinking stuff and just hitting the ball hard probably edit that out if i know if i know james oh i did go to a spanish liddle i did demand that i go on the trip to the liddle honestly not that

great only difference between that and the one down the road for me is there's less bacon in this one and more spanish stuff what's what spanish stuff like less potato waffles and that more no potato waffles at all that i could see a lot of like spanish meats okay okay like sausages gammon but only one bacon only one bacon in the whole place no I think you're only getting bacon in like the sort of paler scandal origin type countries

do you know what I mean it's us the Germans the Dutch do you know what I mean with the bacon boys with the bacon boys we love a sausage

the bacon boys the bacon boys do you know did you go on holiday as well then yeah did you go on holiday James we love a sausage the big beans buys the bacon buys it you know did you go on holiday as well then yeah did you go on holiday

James I'm going away camping this weekend you got any bacon we developed a hack last time

which is basically if you've got too much parma ham when you're camping then simply cook it and use it as bacon

remind us of where you live in the world Cotswolds have you had wishy-soonak when you camp it, then simply cook it and use it as bacon. Remind us of where you live in the world? Cotswolds. Have you had wishy-soonaks personally been to your door? Ask for some of your egg. He sent us a survey. He sent us a, but maybe I can imagine where you live in Chipping Norton, that cul-de-sac is like, if you can win over that cul-de-sac, you've won over Middle England.

Do you know what I mean? Was it you saying you won a national service back, James? Now that all of us are too old to be drafted. Get the kids off those scooters. Yeah, looking at his own sons being like, these kids. Soft there. Didn't have to do the open mic circuit like I did.

Bloody hell. I don't agree with, the open mic circuit like I did, bloody hell. I don't agree with the policies like a silly mad policy, but I would love to send my son on national service. Do you know what I mean? I reckon you'd rather threaten

your son with it rather than actually send him to it. Send him to it. We're going through a bit of a disrespectful patch that I think the thing that would remedy it is warfare. Do we have military schools here like they do in America? They send unruly kids to. This feels like a James question. James, you've been through this.

There's the posh people's one, isn't there? Posh people send their kids to the army. What, as kids? Yeah, I don't know i don't really know that much about that but chris your holiday was a form of national service i believe looking at the notes here yeah i've had um i've been camping i've come back from a weekend of camping you're right yeah i don't it's i won't show you you my legs, but like I'm in a bit of a state. Back from camping, I think it's fair to say

it's my second big... What did you mean, your legs? Bear trap or something? I am covered head to toe in midge bites because I didn't respect them and I didn't prepare for them. Yeah, they're a fucking nightmare. I do feel for you, Chris.

I mean, yeah, it's a horrible thing to happen, isn't it? I wasn't prepared. I didn't want to miss out. The one good bit about camping is having a chat with your mates and stuff, you know, like sat in a chair drinking little tinnies, which, to be honest with you, it could do so much easier. But for a little bit, once you've done all your tasks, you know, you've got all your equipment, you've done your check,

you've boiled your water so you can wash dishes and you've done all these millions of things that you need to do just to survive during camping. You get to chat to your mates, but then we were beset by midges because we were near a river. The people that I was speaking to were mostly prepared with midge helmet type things. So what are you supposed to do about your legs?

I just couldn't be bothered putting, I didn't put trousers on. I was wearing shorts. I was having too much of a good time. I could feel the midges in and around, you know, like they're like on my eyeballs and stuff like this and going in every office, but I don't want,

I can't let the fun happen without me. Do you know what I mean? That's a weakness on my part. Could you have sat inside the tent and chatted to them through the wall of the tent? But then they might not be like a Catholic priest at confession. All right, lads, what's going on?

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, no, I don't think I've got that star power to attract, do you know what I mean? If there's an obstacle, you guys, if there's an obstacle to talking to me, you're not going to do it. Yeah, so I did that. We had, by the third night, I'd bought, like, I've got a head mask midget net thing to go over my head, like a beekeeper.

But by the third night, I was pretty sure that the midges were now coming out of my skin you know like candy man like with the bees so it was i good family times i would happily never do it again but with the rest of your family all right for the midges or was it just was it just my wife yeah, my wife goes to bed a bit earlier. Like my son kept going, oh, these bloody midges. Like that. And we kept saying, stop saying bloody.

Well, that sounds, I mean, apart from that, how was it? Where was it? Right. So we went to a place near, I can't, I don't do any of the, I don't agree to it. I don't book it. Even when it's like the one thing I have to do is not book working, but indefinitely I will put something on that weekend and have to cancel it

because I don't like, I have like one job. So I don't know where we were, but it was kind of near Penrith, which is in the Lake District. Oh, it's, it's, it's, I only know it from Withnail and I. It's brilliant. Yeah. The house of Withnail and I is, it's, it's, it's, I only know it from with Nell and I. It's brilliant. Yeah. The house of with Nell and I is, it's within a drive of me.

And the Penrith tea rooms, is it? Somewhat. You can go and watch with Nell and I once a year, they do a mini festival where they projects the film onto the side of the house. Right. That is featured in the film.

And my mother-in-law, I think I've talked about this before, but my mother-in-law was saying like, you should go, Chris, you would love it. And I'm like, yeah, I guess so. But I just, you know, when it's like with Uber nerds, I like the film, but not to the point where I'd care about quoting every single line and stuff

like that. So we're in Penrith. We're like the Lake District. No offense for the Southerners and Americans. Right. So no offense to- Anyone listening who's not, yeah. The co-host and producer of the podcast. And I think pretty much most of the people listening to the podcast.

But do you know what I mean? On mass, they're fine one-on-one. On mass, can be a bit much. Why? What are they doing? How are they annoying you? What's happening? Just by being, do you know like the Southerners bring us an energy,

which is... They bring us a mosquito repellent. They load it over us with a mosquito repellent. But to win Penrith, so this is my second camping adventure. And I go with my uni friends, and we've all got kids now and stuff like that. So last year, we went to a place in Scotland,

like a very, very well-to-do middle-class campsite that had like, it had, you paid for your plot, and then there was like a sort of outhouse type thing that had electricity and a microwave and an oven and i said to my wife i was like what is this what are we doing do you know what i mean like is this the great outdoors and my friend chris who's scottish was there and i said this is a really nice place and he said yeah yeah it is and the price point's right. So, you know, it keeps the Scots out. He's Scottish, so he was allowed to say that.

But it was right. Do you know what I mean? It was very easy. How much are you paying for a night in there? I'm going to bet that it's more than I paid per night in Menorca. Right. So where we were in Penmeriffe over this weekend, the cost of that is, I think it was £35 a night. Per person?

No. Per pitch? Per pitch. Yeah, that's less. Don't get me wrong. There's an outlay to it that we started. We spent a lot of money last year. We spent a little bit of money this year to upgrade it.

Oh, yeah. You've got to buy all the kit, haven't you? You've got to buy the kit. So we got to. How big is your tent? We've got like a, I think it's technically like a six man tent. Can you stand up in it?

Yeah. Yeah. No. Okay. That's a no. The way you said it, that's a no. Like basically I was thinking about us,

Brian, could be in you? Probably. Could James? Absolutely not. Yeah. Well, I'm, I am actually, I'm quite a bit taller than you, Chris. So don't, you know, Probably. Could James absolutely not? Yeah. I'm quite a bit taller than you, Chris, so don't, you know.

No, we're both the same size. What are you? What are you, 5'9"? Yeah. I'll have a bounce. I'm 5'11", maybe 5'11", 3 quarters. Come on. Maybe. Come on.

Winner's team. When I wear proper shoes. Look, those little Cuban heels. As gifted to you by dominic west all right yeah i know but i thought it was one of those tents you get on like french camping holidays with a little kitchen that you can all walk around in so last year we like you do a little bit every year and it's i'm trying to get my head around what campanese because it's really, it's a strange holiday and a strange thing to do innately. Yeah. So like, as far as I can tell, it's busy work. Like the thing about a camping weekend

is, and I think as somebody who I believe as an attention focused condition, it's like when I play computer games, they absorb my entire focus and attention, which means that my brain isn't ticking away on various other stuff. And I think there's something similar going on with why you do camping. The settings are beautiful, but the busy work of camping, everything that you want to do in camping, everything that you do in your normal life is taken and turned into it. You at least three to four more steps to do like to go to the toilet or whatever it's not just going into the toilet it's making sure you have your shoes on it's have you got a light to make it to the thing have you got your torch you're leaving have you zipped the tent clothes

not unzip your trousers yeah because that's a nightmare but it's like have you done all these things and it's so mentally exhausting and jarring that i believe the goal of camping is to make like if you're concerned about if you're busy you're busy your life's busy you've got back-to-back meetings all the time a million emails you've got your work phone with you and stuff like that it removes that because there's no signal and you can't think about your projects and outbox and all this stuff that you've got to do because you've got to put so much extra mental energy just into like eating or going to the toilet yeah and i think if you've got i think they should send people who've got like dangerous,

intrusive thoughts to just live on campsites because I think if you are doing, you can't think about shooting. You mean they should make them homeless? I think we're getting into, I think you're trying, I think you're doing a, I think you're doing a politician's trick

to get, to make me look a fool because of the words that I've said. But it's like, if you've got all this busy work to do, you can't, you don't have enough mental energy to think about shooting the king with a harpoon gun. It does mark itself as like

James he's right he is right he is absolutely right this is the first time he's been right and we look I don't want we love the king

carry on James it does market itself as a peaceful experience but it is as you're pointing out there exactly the opposite It does market itself as a peaceful experience, but it is, as you're pointing out there, exactly the opposite. It's incredibly... It's not like a sort of, you know,

you're in nature and you're just sort of communing with nature. No, you're just trying to survive. Can I just get... To defend camping, if you get the kit right, if you prepare properly, it's going to be plain sailing and you can just chill out in your chair most of the time if you get a tent that pops up bang it's up get the pegs in piss in a bush you're away have a non-performer to do all

the other work have a non-performer to drive into the shop to go outdoors. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think as well, it's like, I'm not a natural camper. And if I'm very, very honest with you, I don't really enjoy it on many levels, but it's good for the boy and my wife loves it. But what I don't get is my wife is a busy woman, a powerful, busy woman who's operating at any given moment in at least two different time zones. And I was like to her, you know, like I fell into, it's midnight.

I can't, the midges are in, they're swarming around. I'm trying to empty the tent. And it's all, I've lost one of my shoes in the darkness. And I said to her, I just don't understand why you, a busy woman, has opted to use your leisure time to make yourself even busier. I don't get it. And if I'm very honest with you,

I'm not attracted to the camping version of my wife at all. When she goes camping, she becomes like the sort of person, yeah, she gets out in the morning hands on the hips says good morning to a mountain do you know what i mean i'm like who is this person that sounds quite fun actually but i mean this is your attitude towards it being good for the boy is exactly why i had to go camping every year as a child every year i used to have to go to north wales to go camping for a weekend and every without fail, the tent would either like fall down or blow down or get like, there'd be a,

I don't know, a fucking flood or something. And every year we'd just go back again, the same tent, absolute nightmare. Hated it. Hated it with a passion every year. When was the last time you camped?

Best of all, 2010. 2010. Wow. 2010. I mean, there's, there's been countless opportunities to camp since then like sometimes you get you know the main one is obviously mac fest where you know there's a lot of camping there there's no way i'm dying in a field at that time of year there's also like various festivals if you get but there's absolutely no way i'm camping it i just i'm just i can't do it anymore it's horrible well our friend amy gladhill friend of the podcast she went to that comedy

festival in wales and paid for an expensive outdoor bivouac type you know like a yurt type tent yeah yeah not a bivouac that's like dug into snow yeah no not a, not a kayak, not a kayak, a yurt. But she opened this luxury yurt and wherever they pitched it, it was on top of, it must have been on top of a nest of spiders because her pillow

and bed sheet and the whole tent was swarming with spiders. She just shut the door and never went back. Never went back. What, slept in the car? Or drove another half hour to Abu Isfah

and got a Premier in. That's the thing. That's always an option. And I'm surprised not more people take it. But camping's about the process. It's about punishing yourself for being slovenly in day-to-day life. It's pure.

Because it's not cheap. You're not saving much money. Over years, you will be. Like I said, the first time we spent, we probably spent about, I don't know, because I'm not in charge of the money on any level, but probably about 700, 800 quid. This time we spent like 200, 300 quid to top up. And we go with my friends who are seasoned campers and they've

got like hacks do you know what i mean they've got they've got kitchen roll affixed to a unit via a cable tie to make it easy access do you know what i mean yeah they've like they clearly think about it they discuss it as a couple and i'm'm- I've seen it on Instagram. Yeah. I'm trying my best to like get in. And it's the girl who I went to uni with and her husband, who's a geography teacher. He's a great guy. I don't think on paper we'd naturally be friends, but I'm thankful that he's in my life because he's just like a steady eddy,

you know, like not a performer. Like he's a geography teacher. It's just a different vibe. But on the first day I followed him around the campsite and he went, look at that. They've got a two and a half grand tent. That's a Berg house. And I'm like, Oh wow. Yeah. That's, is that, is that good? Sounds good. I can care about that side of it. You know, what makes a, what makes a tent two and a half grand then? A brand name probably, but like lots, I don't care about that side of it. What makes a tent two and a half grand then? Brand name probably, but like lots, I don't know.

We didn't spend that for our tent, but the game changing thing, we got it in a sale at the start of lockdown before everyone realised that they were going to be camping all the time. The living compartment is made of blackout material. Right. Absolute game changer material right absolute game changer absolute game changer i can't believe that they've kept that from us what do you mean so the living there's a living room in your tent well you know like your classic tunnel tent yeah or the main bit of it there's a bit there's like a lobby yeah where the staff sleeping bit then the sleeping bit yeah made of blackout but that so that inner tent of the tent is made from blackout material

my god absolutely brilliant genius genius yeah yeah i'm just my friends who i went camping we bought a new tent and they've gotten it made us stand in their bedroom to experience this blackout scenario. And instantly, do you know what I mean? We're like, we need a new tent. We can't be left behind in this. We need to, because they were a bit, I think they were a bit, like this time we showed up a lot more prepared. We're like, hello.

We're figuring it out. Do you know what I mean? So, and then my friend, my other friend came and her son, this is not good. Her son was really unwell, but they thought, you know, like they missed the first night and they were like, you know, we'll come on the second one. Cause it'd be so nice to see everyone.

And it'd be nice to have a relaxed, to be out of the house. And her son was so unwell and was vomiting. Like on the night when they went to sleep he was they were in the tent and he vomited all over the tent and they they only have one yeah they're due an upgrade of a tent so they only have one sleeping space so he was sick all over that so he had to like empty it like they did not have a good time did they get a hotel no no no they were like they just didn't really sleep loads and then my friend said it's been really nice to see everyone but i've had better i've had better times in my life oh yeah that's that's good that's

fine and we had another friend who has got a new baby and just bought a fancy glamping pod because they've got a 15 month old baby. And they haven't done camping. They're like, we'll spend money on a fancy glamping pod. And her husband came who's like a successful businessman. And he didn't really bring any sort of camping equipment, but he did bring a very fancy Rolex watch. And I said, that's good. We need that to barter with the

locals? When we get on the wrong side of the farmer. Over summary. Great times. Can't wait for next year.

Good. I will never come. No, I don't think i'll ever camp again i've got a feeling that i don't know maybe to celebrate episode 50 or something like that we crack out i'll camp in your back garden no i think we should do it when we when we do perform this live at a National Trust establishment, secretly without their permission, then we'll have the full camping experience. You know, I've got a feeling that this podcast could be a three-day festival.

Once I went camping on my own when I was a teenager. I went to Leeds festival and I slept, I slept through a riot. I went the year, I think this is the, I can't remember who was playing. I remember I watched the hives and I think prodigy were on, but Leeds festivals really like not a naughty boy festival.

I don't know what it's like now, but when I went, it was like moshes and stuff like that. It like mad people but the year that year the one year i went i drank a bottle of lambs navy rum which made me very sick and basically spent most of the weekend overwhelmed and queasy in a tent but on the final day there was just a mini riot and there was a riot squad of police and tents on fire, bins on fire, and the riot police are like banging their shields. And I just slept straight through that.

So... Well, they just went past your tent, didn't even wake you up out of it. I think, no, I think, I don't know. I was, yeah, I saw a bit to it. It was just like, I was in the wrong place. I'm not built for, I'm not built for that environment. You're not built for camping now.

You shouldn't have done it. No, I'm struggling. I'm struggling, but I'm determined. Like moving to the countryside, I'm determined to make a go of it. I'm a born again country gen. I love this. I'm doing some NLP programming or whatever it is.

Do you know what I mean? I'm rewiring my brain. I just telling myself that I love it. Do you know what I mean? I'm wet, soaked through. I'm cold. I'm covered in midge bites. I'm like, this is great.

And if I say this is great enough, eventually it tricks my brain. I just, no one believes you though. No, but I'd only have to convince one person, me. Yeah. I was, sorry, I was just looking at which festival that was, Chris. It was 2002 and the riot was, according to what I'm reading, in part caused by the offspring doing a lazy set.

Honestly, you're bringing a lot of memories back there. We were so angry about the offspring half-assing it. And Weezer came and they were like, hello, Worcestershire or something like that. Do you know what I mean? They got the name of the place wrong. I don't know whether they were doing it on purpose, but we were like, we're leads. We're leads. Like that, you know what I mean? They got the name of the place wrong. I don't know whether they were doing it on purpose, but we were like,

we're leads. We're leads. Like that, you know, terrible, terrible times. I think I'm going to, when I want to do a segue,

but I'm too scared in case James shouts at me, I think, would it be useful to everyone if I got a gavel and banged a gavel? Yeah. Yeah. It would be useful. Good edit point. Cause I'll see the peaks.

I'm peaking. What are we segwaying into then? I don't know. James, have we sort of... Because we've abandoned the format, really. I've got a letter from... Obviously, guys, you can email us at christopheratalovelytime.co.uk. We'll read them out if we can or able, depending on the content. So first off, I want to do a reprisal of an email that

like we discussed a few episodes back which was from our good friend dr ganja he's back he's back because obviously we spoke about dr ganja and for those who haven't listened, Dr. Ganja basically has done what I've done and moved to the middle of nowhere. Sorry, can I just ask, are we calling him Dr. Ganja or is he calling himself Dr. Ganja? Honestly, Dr. Ganja wrote to us about trying to find weed in a rural community. And it was my idea to change his name. It didn't even occur to Dr. Ganja at all that we idea to change his name it didn't even occur to dr ganja at all though he should maybe change his name so he doesn't mind being called dr ganja no he's codenamed so dr ganja was featured on a previous episode and has got in touch regarding when we discussed

him so this is okay what's he what's he written then? Is it, hello, verbal concerns, Dr. Ganja here, which makes me think... Right, did he write that or did you... He wrote that, which means that he's taken, he's taken the name Dr. Ganja and owned it. Good, good, good. Thank you so much for including my silly correspondence in last week's episode, Top Lads.

I like that and I don't think we told it enough. Just wanted to let you know that as I joyfully played the episode to my wife, I caught myself shouting, listen, babe, it's my babe, it's me. I am Dr. Ganja. The look of muted disappointment she gave me struck deep. I could tell she wanted to share my joy, but ultimately was dealing with the reality of a husband

that writes letters to podcasts about skunk. A little bit of our love died in that moment. You will, however, be pleased to hear that I've got a great postal connection to a great selection of herbs from around the world. So this rural summer should be a sweet one. I'll say that as well.

Okay. Very happy for you, Dr. Kanja. Yeah, yeah. Kind regards, Dr. Kanja. I'm just happy. I really, I've got a feeling, I've got a feeling me and've got a feeling being Dr. Ganja would get on great to the point.

I don't think you can call yourself Dr. Ganja if you're struggling to find the herb. But he's got some now. Is it finally on this podcast? A happy ending. Yeah. All right. Yeah,

no, it's nice. Yeah. Well done Dr. Ganja. For finding a dealer. But yeah, he's got the postal connect. Is he going to support you out with some as well?

Are you guys near each other? Do you know? I don't know. We haven't shared. Do you know what I mean? Dr. Ganja, despite not wanting to use a code name, is smart enough to know that I could be a cop. Do you know what I mean?

I might shop. I might shop him in. And that, as they say in the podcast world, is that. Why are you laughing at that? I don't know. I'm just nervous. I didn't know how to end it. How do you end it, James?

They say like and subscribe. They say subscribe. Give us a like. Five stars. That's how they end a podcast. Give us a like. Five stars. If you want to send us. Sorry, what does that mean? Give us a like, five stars. That's how they end a podcast. Give us a like, five stars. If you want to send us...

Sorry, what does that mean? Give us a like, five stars? What does that mean? Give us a five-star rating on Spotify or Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts from, please. That's the one thing you can do with us. If you want to do an extra thing, the only other thing, if you don't want to do that, be kind to each other.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. A lot going on out there, isn't there? Looking after each other, yeah. Just life's too short. Be kind to each other. Enjoy a, what's the name of that little,

that lager drink with lilt in it? It's not lilt, but yeah. I'm thinking about how you could make it on your own terms. Yeah, you can make it with lilt actually. It's a good idea. Yeah. Make it with lilt. Lilt doesn it. It's not Lilt, but yeah. I'm thinking about how you could make it on your own terms. Yeah, you could make it with Lilt actually. It's a good idea. Yeah, make it with Lilt. Lilt doesn't exist anymore.

No. What do they not? What do they got now then? They've absorbed it into the larger Fanta brand, which as a former marketing man myself, that's good business.

Let's get back on what we were saying because look after yourselves and put some Fanta Tropical into your lagers and just enjoy, just enjoy your summer. Don't forget the Mozzie spray.

Don't worry too much about branding changes and logos, anything like that. It's not, it's beyond your remit. Just live your lives. Um, keep your head down. Love your families.

Uh, look after your circle. John, this sounds like we're doing callbacks to, keep your head down love your families look after your circle John this sounds like we're doing callbacks to imagine if you're just coming into

this podcast now this is a callback to every single thing that we've said it's like we're wrapping it up don't wear tracksuits unless you're actually

working out or running or something yeah we've done we've done 11 episodes at this point it's a good place to wrap it up where did we start right back at the beginning running or something. Yeah. We've done, we've done 11 episodes at this point. It's a good place to wrap it up.

Where did we start? Right back at the beginning. And yeah, thank you. I must insist that this episode comes to a close. Good night, boys.

Great. Bye. Rural Concerns was produced by Egg Mountain for A Lovely Time Productions. Our artwork is by Poppy Hilstead and our music is by Sam O'Leary. Thank you for listening. Just the fact of you listening means loads. If you want to go one step further, a review on Spotify or Apple podcast would be good. You could leave five stars.

That would be great. In fact, that's the only option. Anything below that will be discounted. Here are some example reviews. You could put, this is the best podcast ever. You could put, I didn't know anything about dog cum and goblins. And now I do. Five stars. Do you know what I mean? It's great. We'll have a good time. We've also got a Patreon, which is brand new. Eventually it's going to be a home of our bonus

episodes and weird photos of my feature ceiling. But right now it gives you access to the creamery, which is a discord server where you can chat about the episodes. And there's a good little community of people that are all saying, Sunil, please join the discord. But if I'm totally honest with you,

he doesn't know exists and he's finding out right now this second. Yeah. Chris is right. I am just finding out. I've written all the marketing, but I've written rules about how to conduct yourself in the Discord group and I've signed everything from, thank you, from Chris Sunil and producer James.

And almost immediately people are like, Sunil doesn't know that this group exists. I've never got a link to it. I don't even know. When did it start? Are you going to come in the discord? I'm not going to come in the discord, am I? We set it up. It's nice.

People being really nice and saying nice things and interacting in a friendly way. But almost immediately someone joined called Mr. Minge flaps. Do you know what I mean? It's like, which means we're going to have to keep an eye on this safe space. Great. James,

if you, if you want a more succinct outro than that, you can fuck off. To be honest I'm not going to use the second one it's going to be the first one we're going to cut Sarah halfway through

okay but then no one will know how good the writing is that's the difficult bit