Rural Concerns - Carpets, premieres & marginal gains

Episode Date: December 10, 2024

Sunil promotes a new cable, a film and basically anything that isn't his own podcast. Meanwhile, Chris is getting some new carpet and James has a bone to pick.   Also, we did an Internet Speed Test but forgot to actually say Chris' new stats. It was a mistake, but it does add a bit of dramatic tension for the next episode!   Get your tickets to Chris’ debut tour, here!   Drop us an email at [e-mail] if you have a Rural Concern you’d like discussed! The best way to support this educational podcast is through Patreon. For less than five quids you can get bonus episodes and access to our Discord community, The Creamery. Click here to start supporting Rural Concerns today!   Our artwork is by Poppy Hillstead and the music is by Sam O’Leary. Rural Concerns is edited by Joseph Burrows and produced by Egg Mountain for A Lovely Time Productions.

Hello and welcome to Rural Concerns, a podcast about a man who moved to the countryside, his city-dwelling friend and their long-suffering misery guts producer. My name is Chris Cantrell and I live in rural Northumbria. My name is Sunil Patel and I live within London's congestion zone. Right, so I'm Misery Guts then, am I? Well, I mean, you think about your actions and why somebody might write that about you. Your bad vibes james one of my best purchases of black friday this year has been a new cable for podcasting oh yeah it's braided it's two different colors very solid very sturdy

the the plug ends are chunkier you know gold plated no no need i went into richer sounds once and they said you don't need it fair enough i. I once bought something from, it might have been a Richard, I always call it Richard Sounds. Richard Sounds. On Tottenham Court Road. And I was in a bit of a hurry and I just needed to buy some headphones from a device. Yeah. This was ages ago when wireless headphones were a madman's dream. Can't do that anymore, can you?

You can't buy headphones anymore just on a whim? No, no, absolutely. And I went in and I was like, oh, I can have these. And the guy was like, yeah, yeah, yeah, sold it. And I went out and then I realized it was like one of them plasticky things. So I needed a pair of scissors to get at it because I needed to get out the headphones right then and there. Turned back in to see the guy that had just sold me the headphones doing like a sort of spin bowler celebration and i've never more felt ripped off in my life how much were the headphones i can't remember but evidently too much what's all this breathing

noise chris morning chris honestly oh my god is that, what's going on? You're loud. You've got something in your nose. Have I? I don't know. It's sort of like heavy breathing. I'll tell you what it is. This is a very tight recording. I got set up, but I basically need to get set up with this on the iPad. A little, a tiny little nubbin that takes a USB into a USB-C to go into.

Anyway, I'm in the living room, and that was in the attic. So I just had to run up over three floors, which I guess is just a bit of a mad way of saying that. You don't have the right cable. You fired your butler. No, my house is quite big. You spent it all on house and not enough on cabling i mean right i'm in the attic that's officially happened but i'm missing i'm on the wi-fi up there so it's a

bit chonky but i basically need a little dongle that connects me into i've got a cat five sitting at the top of the house now but i just don't have the dongle to plug it into my PC. So I'm one recording session away from a bit more of like, like this podcast, we know that this podcast is about tiny incremental steps towards success. That's its motto, isn't it? Oh, success. Okay. That improvement.

That's what this podcast is about. This podcast is about managing decline. And marginal gains. And, and marginal gains. And I think that's like, so we are getting there. That's the thing though.

I suppose not many sort of, that Dale's Brails, Dale, Dale Bravesford, Dave Brailsford. Are you having a stroke? That philosophy of marginal gains, you can't only do marginal gains.

You do have to have something like talent and skill in the middle to gain from. What are you saying, James? What? I'm saying that me and you are getting strung up in the creamery on the Discord. Are you getting strung up as well? Well, by association

after we talked about comedy cv.co.uk i'm presuming a couple of weeks ago someone was like oh wow look at this list it's got loads of famous names on there it's exhaustive and i think we'd already we'd actually pointed out in the episode that me and you were never on it we were never on it yeah so that's a shame isn't it I'm getting a kick in by default. I'm getting another kicking on the Patreon Discord as well, aren't I, Chris? Yeah, so just for people that might have just tuned in this week for the first time.

Or two of you, because it's marginal gains. Just as a side note, James, is there any way you can remotely turn Chris down a bit? I've turned... No, no, just in my ears, not for the recording, because you're drowning out James, who is an important part of this podcast. I can turn me up a little.

Yeah, God, you don't want me... You don't want just too much of me. It's like a foghorn going off over a car. I'll try and... Like I said, my blood was up. I just ran up three flights this day and these are victorian floors as well three floor victorian house we get these are not modern tiny rooms like where you have to crash to be in them you spend two grand on each one i get it do you know what i mean you could literally put three of me and then on each of us shoulders and then you would touch the ceiling. That's how big of it. You could put that house in London.

It would be an HMO. Bring it in. But right. So we've got like a Patreon where people support this podcast, which part of that comes with access to a Discord community. And basically, yeah,

there's been a lot of having a go at James. Also, but I like this as well because Sunil basically goes on different podcasts and does not mention that he has a podcast which personally i'm just going to say it just i'm speaking to the listeners there it drives me up the bloody wall but like do you know what i mean it's one of those things where minstrel been friends for nearly 15 years and you're like what are you gonna do fall out with him because he don't promote because he don't say that he's got a podcast no you bury it down i just forget you know i just i don't do these podcasts to put it to like it's not like you do them when you have something to promote you just do them because somehow let's

be honest we're not doing podcasts for fun are we come on you don't go on someone else's podcast for a laugh i always thought we were supposed to so when i do podcasts i do them for a laugh i tend not to to do ones that i don't want to do i did trusty hogs recently because so you're advertising them yeah it's great podcast isn't it i imagine there's a bit of crossover in the listenership that's where would people find it i don't know computer or phone or something but but the listeners the the people that support us basically i prefer like I feel like faking with a little team of urchins when they have to because they run back and grass on her up and tell me that he's not, what podcast he's on

and that he's not promoting verbal concerns. You are all done for once I get full access to the Discord, which I can't quite work out. I tell you what you need to do. I know that it's confusing and it's like asking someone of your years to adopt new technology I know that it's confusing and it's like asking someone of your years to adopt new technology. No, no, no.

It's okay. I will sit next to you. I will sit next to you. Delete all the crypto servers from it and clean it up. I will do that. That's all I was going to say. I won't look at any of the folders. I'll just delete them all and leave it pure and clean so you can just have it.

It gives some dogs going to the moon. So this is like, we've got a tight recording. So I just think, I know we did one quite recently, but should we just do an internet speed test? Oh, just for a,

just for a laugh, something to do. Just to say, I do have a bit longer now, but James doesn't. I don't. Yeah. Nor do I actually change,

change my mind. Yeah. So we're all equally busy. I think we should just do an internet speed test just for just to do this i always come bottom we're meant to do it quarterly really but i just i just feel like something to do into it so let's just do a quick internet i've got so much to talk about oh yeah let's do it today oh god this is pathetic i can see it sort of struggling. I don't know how I've coped this long, you know, at this speed. Oh, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.

Go on, go on, go on, go on. Right, should we report, but did you manage to do an internet speed test in all of that? I've done it on my phone. So that is Wi-Fi, not even wired. I've got mine ready to go. Mine's ready. Okay, I think you two should go first.

Well, should we do the lowest first, which is me 24.6 down 4.49 up hello how are you speaking to us now what are you talking have you you you're the one who cuts off more on this podcast than anyone else yeah but that was in the past and that anyway i'm getting no that's because i'm running a sub that's because i've got a little i've got a laptop to make my i got an ipad to make my life easier and it's made it much more complicated in a lot of ways so james i think we should go to you next okay one five six point four down one three four point zero up check that out what no i don't know what's up for this whoa yeah not bad your server's in dublin chris i'm really proud of you for that that's really good what's your provider called a fibrous i'll tell you what's happened i've just i don't know on the ins and outs of it

but it's something to do with it's some rural fiber expansion plant you know that my village is split on the border between cumbria and northumberland so i live in northumberland as per the council but i have a cumbria postcode but basically we can present as whichever county we want to pay like technically we can show someone a bill and be like well we're northumbria so they have to give us services because they'll often say like they'll often say you've got a Cumbria postcode, and then we show them, like, we can be like, no, we've got a Northumbria account, so we qualify for Northumbria stuff. I think in this instance, the Fibre's expanded to the Cumbrian side

of the village, and we used our C, our Cumbrian postcode, to get access to the scheme because the other side of the village doesn't have it yet. But basically, all I'm going to say is it came, a guy knocked, and I was with Pussnet, and a guy came and knocked on the door and my wife was like, what happened? I said, I don't know how to put this, but a goblin came to the door, like a guy who was a little goblin.

He was like a little salesman guy and he like just gave me and he was like going it's like this little guy that was just like full of the a goblin he was like full of the chat he was selling he was selling me ways and he was like he was like this is my personal number if there's any issues with the install you call that number he says because i will help right because my name holds a lot of sway in this industry you know like stuff like this and i'm like yeah yeah yeah i want my very fast internet now big on goblin how much are you paying a month then the base package is 25 yes we've gone up to 35 because we've got a landline because we do not have phone signal

and we need an up like i haven't sorted out the landline yet because it's just a bit of a mad week but i need a landline to talk to people because me out is it's patchy phone signal you swap to an internet call it's a mess and a lot of time you know like like the doctors were gonna ring me and stuff like this and they're like like, well, we'll call you. And I said, I don't have any phone signal. And they were saying like, oh, we'll ring you three times. I said, yeah, but I've got really patchy signals. So like a telephone call probably won't go through.

And they were like, oh, we'll try three times. And I went, yeah, but like the houses. Yeah. They must be used to that in the area surely no apparently absolutely not gonna move on it

at all so you just have to like I don't know go to camp to camp up a hill for the day well no yeah well now

but you only need wifi for people to call you you don't need a phone phone signal do you I'll tell you what it is it's sometimes like with an internet thing I think it can

I think it can, I think it can, the receiving of it can fail. Right. If, if like there's no phone connection, but if you, don't laugh at me,

if you call, if you call from an internet call through to a normal number, do you know what I mean? This feels like that, that's science's that is science well actually the whole phone network is now voice over ip isn't it do you know that bowie quote that people i think you've said your mate said it the bowie quote about like if imagine like being in a swimming pool and like if you're when you're a little bit out of your depth that's when like

the interesting thing happens yeah i think we just proved no absolutely not when you're out of your depth it's just sort of ums and errs hey listen there's you are still meant to be working on for the for christmas the super cut of ums and errs people put this podcast on to go to sleep to the ums and uhs do you know what i mean by the way can we can i on a personal level can we just circle back to what me and sunil were talking about before you bum rushed this showed this show, Chris. Yes, but please give it a contact so I can be part of the conversation. Black Friday wire deals.

What do you mean? Is it just buying spools of wire? Well, Sunil's just got a lovely... Brand new podcasting cable. Yeah, and I want in on some brand new... Cabling. Podcasting cabling. I've got... what's that?

So I can see your connector. So it's USB-C, I'm presuming, to that one that's asymmetric. What's that called? Micro, is it? USB? Yeah. And you remember there used to be a different shape of that that had like a little hat.

Yeah, it had a little hat, didn't it? And I, yeah, what's that? I don't know. i need one of them and they're becoming more and more obsolete i'll find it for you james you guys carry on with the podcast zoom audio relies really heavy on heavily on that so i need to stock up on them i will immediately find that for you thank you very much While you guys continue on with the podcast. So that was thanks for the wire chat. Chris, should we delve into the sheet? Yeah, let's talk about the sheet.

Does Black Friday warrant more? This will be coming out well past Black Friday. I think we will barely be in time for Cyber Monday. Mini B5 pin. Mini B5 pin. Mini P5 pin. Mini B. Mini B. I'll send you a link.

And do they do it in your, does your range do it? I get them from Rhino Cables. I've just sent you the Riverside link. Thanks. Thanks. It's the link to this call that we're on. Good. It's good that, you know know none of us are any good actually

so when people you know when we're arousing each other for not being good at a thing we're all no one's punching down it's an early start come on yeah it's an early right so black friday's been and gone what can i just say before you we go into it, so James wants some cables. Son-O, have you got your eye on anything in particular? I got a new cable. I got my mum a squeegee for the shower. Yeah, nice. So a total spend of about eight quid this Black Friday. What's a squeegee?

It's like a wiper. Sounds like it should be a sponge, shouldn't it? How about you, Chris? What I would like is a fancy toilet brush for my upstairs toilet. I can help with that. I would like really big, in big ticket things, me and the wife, basically, our Christmas present is a new Hoover system. Yeah, I've been speaking to your wife about this,

but she says you do the most of the Hoovering, so you're the one most interested. Which means that she just doesn't care at all about most of the hoovering. She means all of the hoovering. But do you know what I mean? I understand because they call it what mental load, don't they? And it is fucked and it is probably sexist. I don't think I'm a sexist.

No, you're not. I think I'm kind of the exact opposite of a sexist. A good buddy lad. Guys, can I just say, I don't think any of of a sexist. A good buddy. Guys, can I just say, I don't think any of us are sexist. Can I just say that? Shout out to the ladies as well. How is your head? One of the topics on the spreadsheet is head melt roundup.

How is that going? Bad. Is it bad? No, I'm just, I'm in a crunch period, which happens like once or twice a year, you know, when it's Edinburgh Fringe and stuff like this. Yes, I remember you around Edinburgh Fringe. And I just, not disappear, I still do the little bits,

but the extra mile that we would go in the week to get the podcasts out and discuss the little bits and pieces around it, that's disappeared. Now it's just like stuttering trying to get through i'm just recording my radio show next week and it's all going very well i've just got a lot of next week yeah on the fourth when are you doing the auditions then like when when do when do you have people read i did an audition last oh no no no for your radio show when you don't really oh it don't really auditions. When do you send out the call sheets then? Oh, dear.

Is it? Oh, right. Have you got yours, Sunil? No, Sunil's not. Got Cartman? We can't do everything together all the time. I can't do it. I do enough on Radio 4 now, I think.

Yeah, me too. Chris won't let me do any more. Also, Chris has been getting in the way of my Radio 4 now, I think. Yeah, me too. Chris won't let me do any more. Also, Chris has been getting in the way of my Radio 4 production by calling my producer five minutes before he's due to leave the house to come and meet me. Therefore, he's late. I'm waiting in the cold. We should be recording.

I think we've already cut out this topic of conversation from a previous episode. I'm just saying. Yeah, because it's boring. Because it's boring. Because Chris has access to the edit. Yeah, it's boring. I'm going to call.

Do you know what I'm going to do next week while you're recording? What? Constantly call your producer. Well, I'll be taking his phone off him on day one and he can have it back on day seven. You don't have to use a flip. He's got a flip phone.

You don't know what to do with that. You could just call me and i'll get him on the phone because i'll be oh no oh yeah yeah i won't do that oh james no no no what drama school did you go to again there's literally no there's literally no giant characters in this voices it's not well i went to a i didn't go to a drama school there was a giant in the first series that wasn't there actually yeah and we cast a very short man a very a very short man absolute oh my god but thank you for listening well i won't listen again anyway so i'm stressed but now i'm not stressed because i just feel bad about every other thing. You're not casting me. You feel bad about that?

There's just so many. I tell you what, we're an absolute, it's one of those things, there's so many people that you would want in it, but we are basically awash with very talented white men. They're at epidemic levels. Yeah, but I'm not talented. That's my USP. I don't think that's true.

That was good acting though, wasn't it? Yeah, it was. Right, do you want to tell us about your fancy audition, Chris? I did a fancy audition. Oh, yeah? For a friend's show? No. I got called in to do a big theatre in London.

Ooh. Is it Mice and Men? No, an idiot. We're trying to expand our range. No, it was just one of those things that came through because I'm in the middle of this radio show. I was like, I don't have time for this. I don't know what this is.

I don't know. I don't have time to be brought into London to go into a big theatre so that I can find out that it's everybody that's poshing London in the audience laughing at me for thinking that I could be in somewhere in London. Do you know what I mean? That's mad. And they're all filming me on their phones thinking,

he thought he could be in this, in a proper thing. So I was like, no, I can't. Britain's got talent. So i was like no i can't britain's got talent so i was like no but then my agent rang me up and was like are you sure you're turning this one down and i was like i was like what is it how did you go has it been done i did it i done it i spent this is what i'm saying like the crunch of last week on top of it just have to learn this like saying got there didn't have to learn it of it just had to learn this like saying got there

didn't have to learn it we could have just read it off a bit of paper it's better if you've learnt it though it's better if you've learnt it but they were like they were like have you done

we said oh we could just read this if you want I said absolutely not please because I've just been learning this for five days so I said can we try it without anyway it was good it was good

nice it felt exciting but it did add to my stress. But I went into the middle of London. That was good, in and out. Do you know when you'd hear back? No, I don't know. You don't know with this stuff. You just, you've got to move forward like a shark.

Would this mean like you'd be performing on the theatre stage every night for a long time? About a couple of months. Bloody hell. A couple of months, every night. It's, it's a big thing that would affect the family. It's like two Edinburgh's. People don't say that as well.

I think we're doing Edinburgh. I think it's like how the brain works, but so much stress to get to like a few days in. When the show is not perfect, but you show it's clicked in, you've memorized it. You've made a few significant changes, you're like, this is it, a few days in. And the minute you get to that bit, you're like,

I'm bored of it now, I want to go on. You know what I mean? Once the challenge of it's gone. But with a play, you can have a bit of fun with it more because it isn't just one thing that you've written for an hour kind of thing. It's like you can do the best version, but then you can, you can kind of always be honing it. So you always got that.

Yeah. I mean, and now it's done. It's off to the ether. It's this thing is inherently a numbers game. And also it's like people will use people that they know and all this sort of stuff. It's like, it's just how it works. Do they? I can't believe I said that believe you are the problem chris i'm part of the system but it's like when you done that i did i do remember when billy elliott goes into billy elliott like beats that kid up at the end but then they're like oh what do what do you like? It feels like electricity. You know, like he describes why he likes dancing.

He says that he leaves and I'm like, why do you like dancing? He went, it feels like electricity or something like that. Or words to that effect. Felt like that. I enjoyed it. But there we go. What have you been up to, Sunil?

Sunil, I saw you on the telly the other day. You interrupted my Friday night, not in an advert format you were on graham norton show yeah chris mccausland was on wasn't he promoting the film so i did a little bit in a christmas film and they showed a clip of that film just so people don't yeah scroll back to see you on the sofa next to the rock i went to the premiere of that they although i went to the screening of that and they in the email they said if you come to this you're consenting to the bbc filming you and i was like what's that about because it's a film on sky

i got there they had a big bbc sort of hoard not hoarding those pop-up stands and people taking photos in front of it yeah because all the strictly people were down there of course because it'd be like what you got up to this week so were were you on that Strictly as well? No, I mean, I didn't know what it was. I didn't know what was happening and I don't know anyone on Strictly. So I was like, why are there so many people here? I don't know. And everyone kept saying they're from Strictly

and I had no idea. So I just watched the film and then I had to go home. So you didn't fall prey to the curse of Strictly. You haven't had your relationship broken up by a Strictly yet. Did you kiss a dancer? Honestly, this is good. Do you remember there was a lot of buzz earlier in the year that you were on the potential list of people

with the money? Only in the Metro. No one else had any clue about it. It is exciting. It is exciting. Would you have been filming? When did you film that film? April. So potentially it could have been... What, you think they mixed me you have been filming? When did you film that film? April. So potentially it could have been. What do you think?

They mixed me up with Chris McCausland. Yeah. They were like, it's someone from this film, not who you'd expect. And then it was Sunil then, obviously. They'll put Sunil in there to give the blind guy a chance. Well, I think Chris has turned it down a few times before. He's absolutely amazing.

We have it on in the house. My God, it's brilliant. I've not watched it. I've not watched it this series. We've sort of got, but I do, I've watched it. Me and Mickley used to watch it all the time, but I think it's one of those things where if you're like out for a week, you lose the momentum with it and then it's like hard to latch back in but over the years i have enjoyed it i think i started off

being very dismissive of it like a teenager but then it was on in the background and over the years very like slowly pivoted to oh there he comes here's this one having a dance to like jump into look at that footwork yeah the state of that footwork like yeah yeah it's it's a good time it's a good time any other big dogs at the at the premiere yeah i don't know who they are though everyone kept saying they're they're like very important people and strictly but i don't know i don't really know oh well it's it's lee mack and chris mccausland's film. Don't feel the need to promote it. No, no. Do you mention the podcast in the film?

There's lots of cuts made to it, obviously. It was five days filming overnight. It was like a Christmassy night scenes. But yeah, no, I don't mention the podcast in the film. I would summarize the plot as being like Home Alone with adults. Die Hard. Die Hard then. Yeah, it's like Die Hard with Chris McCall and Lee Mack.

Die Hard with kids. But that's what I've been up to recently, apart from recording my radio show, which Chris got in the way of. Chris, I don't know if you know, but I've actually performed at the Royal Court Theatre. Really? Have you? What have you done there? Did a show there years ago called Man Watching.

You've done a play? Well well it's not my play they they get one comedian every show to come in to do the show so it's just me on stage it's a really interesting play it's but it's called man watching you the audience basically the audience is waiting there and on stage is a printer and then i walk on and i have maybe two minutes while the play prints out on the printer i've never seen it before and then i pick up the papers and then i have to just read what's on the paper for the whole thing and not go off script wow that sounds like a dream job it's really it was really it was amazing yeah it's called man watching and it's basically about it's basically me reading the female writer's words makes me very anxious just in terms of printer jamming there is someone at hand to make sure a printer doesn't jam it is a laser printer so it is pretty efficient but is it wireless is it powered wirelessly i vaguely admitted thermal i think this is about five years ago but i

i think it was cabled just to avoid any data transmission issues you'd need you need it to be fully cabled yeah and i had a lectern that i put my thing on and then you just got to read it it's and it it does last the whole hour so there's but it's it's a really funny i guess you call it a script but monologue yeah i don't know i mean there's no way you can see it now but it's it's a really funny i guess you call it a script but monologue yeah i don't know i mean there's no way you can see it now but it was you can buy the actual script on amazon but it's worth reading it's good so it's the same every night it's the same every night but a different male reader is it always a comedian the season i did was all comedians it was about eight nights i think and then they've done it again. They, I think it started in summer hall in Edinburgh and then moved to the Royal

court. Yeah, I did the Royal court never had that. I think for actors, it's like incredibly special, isn't it? It's like the, it's like,

it's like comedians look at somebody like the Apollo or the comedy store or something like that. It has a history. But for me it was like, Oh, what the fuck is that? All right, then I'll go there.

And it's, Oh, thank God it's next to the station like that kind of vibe yeah it's good to go into that situation slightly because because i think it gives you a bit of like i don't know the things that we find the things that we find scary are probably gonna be so i think that makes walking into something like that but basically by not taking it seriously, is how you can have a good time. And saying, fuck off to tradition. Oh, I didn't say that. No, don't say that. Be respectful.

Be respectful to the form. James, should we do, have we got a letter? I don't have a letter. We did have a letter on the other document from last time that we didn't get to, which was from our rubbish correspondent. Oh, it's a long one again, isn't it? Jasper. Unless you want to talk shit pipe,

there's something on here called shit pipe exclamation. I noticed you put exclamation marks on all your things, which as someone who's written comedy before knows, that means you don't believe in them. I don't know, just it's like a reminder to me to approach some quiet, to approach the topic with some pep, you know what I mean? Right, so one, I've talked to House Update. We've agreed to dip into my savings to get carpet for the front room

and for our bedroom, i already said just because nicola deserves some nice things she has to carry the mental load that is an undeniable and unavoidable fact but she deserves to not have to wear you know like walking boots in her own front room i do believe in that i will make i will facilitate that secondly we've got a problem with our sewage pipe which I think is a historical problem before we moved in. It's definitely not your fault. It's definitely not my fault. It's on a hill, but our house is on a hill and the flat that's down the hill next to it, it's basically got, we think some, some sewage leakage going into the property.

So we were just basically trying to figure that out we haven't gotten there yet s rolls downhill famously we have we haven't got there yet but basically we diagnosed that part of the problem is that we have a victorian water trap it's called that's become like basically overflown and he's way past what you would use as a base standard nowadays so we're basically i mean it's all fine i'm in the middle the the guy who owns the flat down the hill not a gene like not a genius but he used to work for waterboard but not a genius so he used to work forord. So he's very knowledgeable on this area. And he says to me,

like, I'm like, I said, I don't know what is, I said, we'll just get onto his building insurance and sort of figure it out. And he was like, no,

because, but we share a sewage. Basically he said to me, if you've got your shit pipe coming out of your house. Did he say it like that as well? No, no, no,

he didn't. He's a proper guy, but he said the pipe coming out of your house. Did he say it like that as well? No, no, no, he didn't. He's a proper guy, but he said, the pipe coming out of your house, that's your drain, yeah? Yeah. The minute that two drains join, that legally becomes a sewer, at which point it becomes legally the jurisdiction of the water board, in our case, whatever our case is united utilities so he where i would have been like yeah where i would have been like oh yeah it's our thing

to fix he's like no it's theirs they'll pretend that it isn't but it definitely legally is because i'm going to put the screws on so i'm like this is i think it's going to save me but there's going to be some work to be done but it's basically the problem of the the guys who came to look at it was like this is a victor a trap or whatever it's called it's a bit of victorian piping and he was like when they put this in they probably weren't even having they probably weren't even doing shits down it and stuff we're probably wanging them out at street or something like that maybe and oh it would have definitely been it would have definitely been a lot less high high pressure as opposed to do you know what i mean it's they're they're living in pre-fatberg days

pre-fatberg days they're like pre-fatberg pre-working at home pre no coffee grounds coffee pre the diet that i'm writing this radio show on pre five guys so it's it's exciting it's exciting that's all i can say i'll keep you updated i'm glad that i can see why you had an exclamation mark next to it actually i can't wait for a five year legal battle with united utilities to take out out the podcast. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is the only podcast where you're going to get a five-year legal battle with United Utilities. Do you think the waterboard have a bit of a laugh because there's that torture called waterboarding?

Do you think they have a bit of a laugh about that in their office? Yeah. Or do you think they're like, oh, that's kind of ruined our SEO now? I think they take their job very seriously and will not be laughing at people for having a laugh and stuff and who need to tie up starting so come on james i think you might need to rethink that sentence chris yeah i know

i know because i think you describe waterboarding as having a laugh and stuff in our live podcast should we waterboard each other? I mean, it's famously non-fatal. Yeah, it's just a laugh. It's just terrifying. everybody listen to me if you that's uh listen to me thank you for listening to rural concerns and if you have a rural concern email us at christopher at a lovely time.co.uk the best way to support rural concerns is through patreon for less a fiver, you'll get regular bonus episodes, plus access to our online Discord server, The Creamery.

So head to patreon.com forward slash rural concerns. And there's going to be a little snippet of some of the bonus stuff at the end. This little, little, little treat for you. And you can also leave us a five-star review on Spotify and Apple Podcasts. And it has to be five stars because if it's not, if it's four stars, always Sunil's going to come round your house and empty a Henry Hoover bag full of brick dust all over your front room.

So yeah, just best put five stars then, isn't it? Rural Concerns is edited by Joseph Bunsen-Burner-Burrows. Our artwork is by Poppy Hilstead and our music is by Sam O'Leary. Rural Concerns is produced by Egg Mountain for Lovely Time Productions. And as a reward for listening all the way to the end,

here is a bit of wisdom from The Daily Laws by Robert Greene. November the 25th, transform self-love into empathy. The most important step is to realise you have a remarkable social tool that you're not cultivating, empathy. The best way to see this is to try it out. Stop your incessant interior monologue and pay deeper attention to people. Attune yourself to the shifting moods of individuals in the group. Get a read on each person's particular psychology and what motivates

them. Take their perspective, their world, their value system, and then crush them i i added that bit at the end that's a great one that's a great one so that's like think about other people and if you are on someone else's podcast mention that you got your podcast yeah think think about other people going on other podcasts and not being prepared for to promote stuff because they're just they're having a good time their own time think about other people when you're casting your radio for a sitcom all right that's enough that's enough let's just call this one what it is crisis level we'll be doing the next one with a first guest and it's a it's like a therapy counselor sitting in a mediator these incremental improvements you wanted have fucking

fallen apart, haven't they? That was better than the last one. Yeah, my God. I think the next one will be incrementally improved because we'll all be doing it through our lawyers. Oh, Chris Cantrell's recording

failed when he did that internet speed test. Yeah, he's got an iPad, hasn't he? He's got to just switch to another app. He's either giddily unplugged everything in his excitement. Yeah, you can hear him breathing. He's gone. And he's gone.

I missed not being able to use the My Internet's Gone sting. My Internet's Gone. Oh, fucking hell.