Rural Concerns - Cinema etiquette, chefs & the importance of professionalism

Episode Date: July 30, 2024

Ever wanted to be a podcast producer? This as-live episode will give you an unrivalled insight into the challenges faced by Producer James as he patiently waits for Chris and Sunil to join their scheduled recording session. It’s a bit like an episode of 24 if Jack Bauer just really, really wanted a Sunday roast. The lads also talk about the economic model of Pizza Express. What we’re trying to say is it’s just another banger of an episode. You can now support Rural Concerns via Patreon. For less than the price of a pint, you’ll get bonus episodes once a fortnight and access to The Creamery, our Discord hangout. You can see Chris’ show at the Edinburgh Fringe! Grab your tickets here! Thank you for listening to Rural Concerns! Our music is by Sam O’Leary and our artwork is by Poppy Hillstead. Rural Concerns is edited by Joseph Burrows and produced by Egg Mountain for A Lovely Time Productions. And thank you to Darius for the podcast saving cable!

Welcome to Rural Concerns, the podcast equivalent of nodding to a passing stranger on a well-trodden countryside walkway and saying, do you want to see a video of someone blowing up a dead whale with a grenade? Producer James here. We're recording this on a Sunday morning and we're very tight for time today. We said we can record between 10 and 11 and I said I've got a hard hour at 11 and I will start recording at 10.

So I've started recording at 10. Currently the only person on the call. Let's just release it in real time. A real time podcast episode. I mean, obviously I'll bleep it if Chris starts doxing 17 year olds or I could just advertise my other podcast while I'm here. Check out Lawmen, L-O-R-E-M-E-N, which is me and the comedian Alistair Beckett King talking funny about myths and legends.

It's a fun time. A lot less swearing than this, definitely. A lot less chat about crypto. It's three minutes past 10 now. I mean, it's five past now. I don't think they're unable to join the call. I'm going to send a message to the group WhatsApp chat saying, six minutes into a solo Shake Shelf monologue.

Best episode yet? Question mark. Oh, here he is. Please welcome to Mobile Concerns. Well done, Chris. Son-O here? No, not seen hiding a hair of him. That's why I just texted as he had a fall.

He's normally in before me. Did he say he was going out? He was out on the ladlash. I have recapped all of this in my six-minute monologue because this episode is going out as live. Yeah, this is just a taste of what a live show will be like. I'd driven down and he did. Well done.

I've come in a part of the car i gain access to the building because you have to be buzzed at like someone had to let me in i went to the toilet i've connected to a new internet yes and i've done a slightly different does the mic sound okay it does sound fine let me have a look at your settings and check you're on the correct mic you are on what's your audio just says bluetooth device actually i can't get any deeper normally i can like find out your brand name and stuff but tap the mic let me let's just check it's the right one can't hear that i can hear that you're coming through your headphone mic so one prediction correct okay right well when i One prediction, correct. Okay, right. Well, when I did connect this thing, it said...

Oh, dear Lord. That sounds bad. My internet's gone. Oh, fucking hell. Stop doing that. Stop doing that, whatever it is you're doing. I'm going to kick you off the call. You're done.

Okay, so... This is a bit... I'm going to kick you off the call. You're done. Okay, so... For me, this is like a very dull found footage horror film. Here he is. He's back on. He's looking smug. He's not letting on whether he can hear me, though. I can hear you. Can you hear me?

I can hear me. I can hear me. Am I coming out of your computer? Take your headphones off. You're coming in my ears now. Can you hear me tapping? No. Can I tell you why?

Because on the Bluetooth, I don't think you can split it to be headphones and then speaker out of another thing. I presume previously you've been wired headphones, haven't you? Yes, I have. It's not terrible quality, to be honest. It's not going to pick up as much mouth noise as we have over the previous couple of weeks. We can cut those out and add them back in if you want. Oh, yeah.

Can we cut them separate? But it's still not here? No. And he's not replied to my two direct messages now, asking him if he's had a fall and if we should text his flatmate. This is very unprofessional. I'm just going his flatmate. This is very unprofessional. I'm just going to say it. This is very un-Sanil.

This is not Sanil. Sanil is, he will not do the social media promo. He will not do many a thing like that. He will not be available for many a thing like that, but he will be there on time. Normally he's first on. Exactly. That's loud.

That is loud. That water that is loud that water thing is loud but i won't be here drinking water all the time goodness just doing mouth clicks i've come down with it i didn't bring the no nicholas advice she was like you don't need the the focus right you know like the the interface so she was like you could just you could just plug this straight into there so that's what i've done but i should have tested it at home before we need to plug your headphones into that that that does have an out but you need wired headphones yeah i know but these are wireless headphones i don't have them i know you're from the future chris you're a you're basically a cyborg i'm in manchester so i'm gonna message the guy who the tech guy and be like could you do this what time were you up

this morning half six all right that's not bad that's not bad on the road for on the road for just after seven and i went to the cinema last night so i was quite late what'd you say what'd you say quiet place day one pretty downbeat it was kind of beautiful in a really it's like this is really silly but in a very subtle it was subtle the characters were elegant it was it was not sweet that's the wrong word but it was just like a considered film that had quite a night like a mature call to it i really enjoyed it really enjoyed it went with nicola because we basically got a house guest. I'll come on to that. Are you happy to have your wife's name in this, by the way?

Because you started off in the first couple episodes, you were quite like, you make sure you said your wife and your child, but now you seem to be banding around names and doxing yourself. Happy for Nicola's name to be in it, but think it should be my son the boy you know but i went to the cinema we've got a house guest you don't need to talk into the mic remember oh because it's on the headphones you sort of leaned in like you were talking into the mic now you can wander around you can do this like you would do your ted talk stood up yeah pacing around well we'll just have to we'll explain i think this episode because Sunil's not here, which is very, very interesting gossip.

What we'll do is a 10-minute apology at the top about the sound quality. Well, I thought we'd just cut out the gaps and just put it out as live. This is like an insight into my world. Yeah, and the prep is that you're getting ready. You're going on holiday so we well i've told him i've got a hard out i'm going for a sunday lunch oh is that what the hard out is where are you going in-laws i've got a feeling he's not coming do you want to give him a ring speakerphone on stop drinking water you're drinking water we've been recording for 20 minutes

well you have i am i know i've really, I've really put it out there. I've, I've really, you know, I've put the world to rights. I'm calling Sonal. He was like, I'll turn up early.

Yeah, he was because he wanted to show me up. This is the talk mobile voicemail service. Oh, nice. Don't put his number on there.

B, obviously. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Please leave a message after the tone. When you've finished recording, please hang up or press the hash key for more options. Hi, Sunil. It's Chris. I'm just on the recording session with producer james we are just wondering where you are because you said that you would be on the recording session early it's obviously we've never known you to be late so basically your reputation is hanging in the balance

or it's in tatters chris it's in tatters wait a. It's in tatters. Wait a minute, James. I've got some exciting developments at my end. So, Bill. It's all hanging by a thread. Oh, you've got the headphones. He's just brought them in. Who's that? That's Darius. He works at Grub. Oh, yeah.

Ah! Ha-ha! Yes! And scratch the mic. Oh, there we are. Now, that is actually... Welcome back. I'm going to buy some wired headphones and this is the setup for when we were doing it in Edinburgh.

Were you going to drive to Manchester at 6.30 in the morning? If we still are doing it, let's be honest. Yeah, I don't know. Is Sunil going to get bailed in time? Will we come back? What if he's murdered someone? What if he's in jail? I don't know.

I don't know what happens. I think you're not allowed to podcast in that scenario, right? Oh, someone's just messaged. Coming. 10.22. This makes it from this point on, there can be no, every word has to be a banger. There has to be no ums.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa that means you're implying that my solo 12 minute monologue was not it was basically shakespeare in the park what i'm saying is normally do you know i mean no people don't know but we record how many we record three hours three hours to get to one 22 minute episode that's the that's the ratio of podcasting that's how it works yeah but that's mostly you fiddling around with the document. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And us being like, trying to read the script, but you're like cutting and pasting it.

Good morning, Sunil. Afternoon. Good afternoon at this late hour. Half day, is it? Part timers? Yeah. Sunil, it's 10.23. So this is how it's gone.

James has been on recording hard since 10 bang on 10 o'clock press record i joined at 10 11 bang on 10 11 chris joined in interrupting my world-changing monologue where i really called everyone out sorry and obviously chris's microphone fucked up you i can hear in your voice. You are hungover and you've been smoking cigarettes. I can hear it. I actually haven't and I'm not. Listen to that.

Listen to that velvety baritone silk cup voice. Probably just thirst. No, I actually haven't had a drop of alcohol. I don't believe that, Sunil. Sunil, don't lie. No, I'm not. Genuinely. Oh, no, I had one Shandy

oh yeah you're pushing the old Rattler agenda yeah on deaf ears that one well look look basically take us through last night

take us through the the steps up to this the greatest lapse in professional judgment I have ever seen no what my alarm did go off at 9am but I think I woke up This is the greatest lapse in professional judgment I have ever seen. No, my alarm did go off at 9am, but I think I woke up and I thought,

why am I getting up at nine? And I just turned it off and went back to sleep. Yeah, I said to Sunil, will not do social media. He will not contribute to the document. But what he will do is he will be there on time. So we're like, our heads are spinning. Right, I need to open the document because is it last week? Don't worry about the document, but we've got more ground to cover. We need to go through.

What happened last night? Come on. No, genuinely nothing. I went to a friend's birthday party, but I left that at 9.45. Having had only one shandy, being near cigarette smoke, but I left that at 9.45. Having had only one shandy, being near cigarette smoke, but definitely not inhaling it. You sound like a Tory MP.

Look, you know, these things happen. That sounds like a Tory MP, doesn't it? Yeah, these things happen. Boys will be boys. What's important is that we learn from it. In fact, the very motto of this podcast is boys will be boys. That's fine. Leave us alone. is that we learned from it. In fact, the very motto of this podcast is boys will be boys.

That's fine. Leave us alone. No, yeah. Sorry if I was 20 minutes late. We got hard out at 11, though. So this is all going in. This is all. Yeah, we still got 35 minutes left.

This is what I'm saying. There can be no margin for error. Chris insisted that every word had to be gold from now on. Like an absolute banger from this point on. Yeah, but what if you say something that can't go in? I won't do that. There was a couple of disclaimers at the start.

If anyone doxxed any 17-year-olds, that would be cut. Oh, good. Yeah, okay. Right, where's... What were we talking about then, guys? So whose party was it? This is what I want to know. Well, you know them.

It's our mutual friend. B, obviously. Again, I'm not sure about how much editing will be done on the surveys. Yeah, I don't know if we want to be naming people's parties. You're scrolling through people's names. If you want to know whose party this was, what you need to do is get onto the comedy competitions

that were going on in london in the circa 2012 2013 era and you will see us all on there yeah so that was it so uh so yeah that where have you gone now when i check the document i lose camera functionality do you know what i should get a separate camera so chris you're on an iPad. You can do side-by-side on two apps. I don't know whether that's possible. Right, I don't. I'm not talking to this old lady about it. Right, so cultural highlight.

Sunil's been out on the town at a birthday party for people in their 40s. That's right. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, a few crisps, some what's-its. Is it a house party scenario, or are we in a bar? House. Okay.

In London's fashionable North London. Ooh. I've heard of North London. Snazzy. Yeah. Was it like a Buffy laid on, or was it just... Had the person whose house it was done any real prep, apart from moving furniture to the walls.

Entire block of ice, and then the middle of it was chipped out to put tequila. Ooh. You know how it is. No, I don't. What'd you put? A load of straws? No, just like bottles and glasses to cool down on the ice. And then it was like a huge block of ice.

It was amazing. Did it work? Yeah, it cooled stuff down. It was was ice i know but sometimes like when you just have a big you need a bit of what like in a flat shirt if you've got a huge block of ice in a flat shirt warping the four boards deposit lost where did they get a huge block of ice a company called london ice oh yeah yeah it's essentially the first question i was where the fuck did they get a huge block of ice a company called london ice oh yeah yeah it's essentially the first question i was where the fuck did you get that from how'd you get that and you went london london ice just put a stick on the side of it because everyone's going to ask that this is if i have a theory about comedians in that i think we've been doing it for so long that there's a tip

i believe that there's a tipping point of the only two states that exist in comedy are a binary yes or no which is no money at all no like less than no money the tipping point after that is more money than god and there's nothing in between so i think there's like a tipping point where suddenly people start doing well and getting a big influx of money but because they've basically been living off nothing they spend it you know like feast and, and they go a bit mad, and they buy giant block ice sculptures. That's interesting, yeah. Yeah, he's not a comedian.

Oh. Ah! Okay. I've been hoist by my own petard. No, but you're right, though. There is that, isn't there? I think it makes sense, though, doesn't it? If you've spent, like, years earning very little,

then suddenly you get something and you buy leather goods. But this is what I heard about with MPs going mad on expenses and stuff. Someone said that basically for years

they are treated like dogs. And then when you get to the upper echelons of the political game, suddenly you have access to... Like, you make hair hair but in what way are

mps treated like dogs was in like the uh like the party mechanics of the lower echelons of you know like having to do all this stuff and it's like a miserable hard long life so basically it's opportunity when you get the opportunity people act like beasts yeah that's right and only very few people only very few people make it as well yeah exactly so when they do it's like you know what i'm gonna claim but my son needs to go skiing and he needs full day of roaming while he's over there um because he's a professional gamer have you got have you are you which one are you are you no money or more money than god um it's hard to tell really isn't it there's definitely i could i could maybe do with a few more quids yeah yeah just to take a bit of pressure off the wife you know yes she works so hard to

to support the arts that's what i would say to james we've got a house guest we went so we used that opportunity to go out to the city we have not been on we don't go on dates we haven't done for many a year really because all because pre-kids even it's not like i do evening weekends and she does she does like monday to friday nine till five because she did not a performer she's uh like a voice actor and a voice coach but it means that we are largely we have to be away intermittently we have to do like she has to do talks or courses or whatever evenings weekends so we're basically always fighting for the same time when it comes to childcare so every

bit of like babysitting support that we get is always to wax a scheduling conflict you know like she like last night she's like i've got to go to cairo and i'm like i have to be in barnard castle like two different jet setting lives but last night because i got house guests we used the opportunity to go into cow isle and have a night on the town i drove because there's no physical means to get back without spending on a massive taxi and i also had to be very oh i had to be up very early to get to manchester to be at this recording on time. So anyway, that's... Turns out you didn't need to be up that early. No, not that early.

We got some quality content done before I got here. I think that was good. Is it not, James? It depends if anyone's still listening. They can be the judge. But we went to watch Quiet... Well, it was basically dictated by what's on. Went to watch Quiet Place.

You can get that on streaming now. Day one. Yeah. So it's brand new. Yeah, yeah. i think you can pay for it sometimes is it but we but we went to watch that and it was great but haven't just been out with my wife in that setting for years oh right she's just talking at full volume you know like this conversation like we're talking now in the cinema in the cinema oh you've just discovered your wife's one of those people she's one of the like completely oblivious to it and then she's like why are you getting wound up did are they know just like just speak you're getting so

stressed out i can i can see you all stressed out now is this during the trailers and stuff oh what do you mean you think start talking normally during the trailers and then there's a there's there's a sliding scale of that person yeah but i'm talking about we're 20 minutes in and she's like not in the quiet place you can't do that in the quiet you know but the quiet place is even is even the the the atmosphere in the site library-esque everyone and this is like we are in really the tail end of the death of cinema what's she saying what's a sample of things she's saying well she's annoyed about a couple in front of us because we think they're going out for vapes

intermittently taking the shoes off you know this sort of stuff feet over the feet over the seats in front like very interesting by now and then she's starting fights yeah and then she said because it's because it's quiet play she's like talking about like the amount like what do you do if you need a fart you know stuff like this it's funny content yeah but it's just like but the people are not paying for that sort of thing so can they hear her ask these questions no not really but if i was there i'd be able to you don't mean i'd pick up on that and then the general noise going on so i was just like i was like we don't need to do this again we've done it now and we went for a meal and that was lovely and we went for a thai place and we were picking and i was like i want this dish like a chicken red curry and she's like well what about this what about this an alternative which is something i didn't want and then at the

end i was just like just order what you want. Just order both dishes. It's fine. And then we'll split it up that way. Don't worry about it. It's fine. We don't get to go out very often. I remember being on a train back from Bradford to Manchester, like over the Pennines

and someone, it was a late night Friday train and someone had like locked themselves in the toilet, you know, to not have the ticket checked and just stayed in there until this next stop was Halifax

and then got out. I hated him. You know what I mean? He's so selfish. There's like a tiny little pacer train that they have up north where it's not like, they should have been decommissioned 10 years after they were made, but they're still going strong now, like 30 years.

Did someone try and use the toilet? Yeah, and I was like, I just need the toilet. And he wouldn't let you in i beg in and he's like i didn't want his ticket checked that's all he said well no he didn't even say anything he just came out when it was like next stop halifax and then he got off and just as it does up and scum scum uh public transport complaints that should be a section. Someone had been fully sick on my train as well. I came home late, second last train of the night the other day and, yeah, had to step over a big puddle of sick by the door.

Like, they got to the door of the train. I don't know if they'd got to the station and the door hadn't opened quick enough or if they just thought, if I do it near the door, that's kind of right. Yeah. I'd fallen asleep for a bit, so I missed that. But that just means that they should just, you know, enough or if they just thought if i do it near the door that's kind of right yeah i've fallen asleep for a bit so i missed that but that just means that they should just like you know i treat

it like a circus in 30s just saw like sawdust should be like just issued from the ceiling you know cover it all until it's time to decommission the train tread it in i didn't get a late train back from this party but because i did i left quite early no because when you were coming home not that long ago just the normal trains had started everyone was getting into work I was on the train that takes people between the two venues of their night out

so it was like quite busy with people who were just the right element of piss to be loud but not pissed enough to be like slumped and quiet so it was fucking hell yeah i've seen like young people on the night out like that do you know when basically you look back at now when you're older and you look at kids and you just think oh be quiet do you know like because i remember being that age but you know when they don't

they don't really have a personality so they compensate by just being loud and taking up space and you're like just be quiet and get to first just be quiet until you're 13 and you'll sort of feel sort of like a person properly yeah it's it's interesting observing like people interact when they've got nothing to say to each other really just like really just the just the most banal conversations i mean i say that knowing that we do this podcast we yeah we're making that we're we're spinning that into sweet cheddar oh yeah yeah the the person the drunk person who i hate the most in the world is not a specific person don't panic we're not going to dock someone the drunk man that inserts himself into someone else's conversation do you know he puts like you'll be talking to your friend

drunk man who's been out drinking all day on a saturday comes and into the conversation bringing banter but actually what is is like a subtle almost primate style microaggression power sort of thing trying to dictate the conversation and dominate you into basically indulging his drunken whims and i have no time for that person and as i've got older i've got like much shorter and aggressive with that type of man not aggressive like a thing but i'll just be like please leave us because i'm speaking to my friend yeah wow just stare at me very intently and really over engage with what they're saying too much yeah no one ever does that to me because what i think puts themselves in the conversation well i mean to be honest i don't i'm probably drunk people yeah i know i know i know the type you mean but like i i think maybe it's just in

london you don't really get people chatting to each other like that you definitely london gets london gets the day trippers in and it's the lads from london will get your lads coming in from essex from watty yeah getting in on the train coming in from Bushy do you know what I mean and they come in for a day absolutely they've got the like combat 18 short back and sides they're absolutely

absolutely saddled down you know like an old mountain mule with Gak they're coming in and they're drinking heavily in places like Victoria

oh god what Liverpool Street's the one Liverpool Street so then when it's time to go home They're coming in and they're drinking heavily in places like Victoria. Oh, God. Liverpool Street's the one, isn't it? Liverpool Street. So then when it's time to go home, they're just putting themselves in everybody's business. And you're like, you know what? This is a town of artists. It's not.

It's a town of money launderers. It's a town of money launderers. And the sort of useless descendants of very posh successful people and some of my best friends just for a bit of balance

just for a bit of balance a bit of balance it does help not to be poor in this city yeah or disabled

like yeah the town's not built for rich and powerful rich and powerful fully abled. As long as you can afford a full pizza express on your own, you're all right in this town.

Yeah, you're going to have a good time. I always think when you're knocking around London, it's like, it is not built. The last time I was down, it struck me because I'd done a three and a half hour train ride and I got off at Euston and I was walking to, I can't remember where, but it was basically a half hour walk away and i was like i've just been in it i've just been in like a 120 mile an hour hurtling along yeah steel tube so i'm gonna walk this half an hour and it was

great but just walking through london there is no way to be for people there is no way there's no toilets there's no seats there's no like third places or anything like that no that's what the only thing you can do is like it's commerce isn't it like you can sit down and be somewhere still so go back to your little box please i'll go back to your little one bed box yeah that's right but i i but i think james were you gonna say something were you gonna slag off london no I was going to talk about my Pizza Express journey, but this is more interesting. No, we could circle back on Pizza Express.

Your journey to Pizza Express or your journey through Pizza Express is? Well, I've not yet been to one for 20 years. But we talked about this about the app, haven't we? But, yeah, I'm one quarter of a pizza away, quarter of a pizza away from silver level. Oh, brilliant. Well done. That's just through getting the ones on offer in the Sainsbury's. Oh, that's not even in the restaurant.

No, I haven't dined for 20 years. That's incredible. But Pizza Express is one of those ones where, you know, like it collapsed, it stopped existing, but crucially didn't ever stop serving food. You know what I mean? It was like, they were telling us, we were seeing news stories that it's gone into administration,

it's collapsed the financial backers or whatever. But just crucially, you can just still go. Their new business model is basically, we'll sell you these pizzas or if you've got the app, we'll probably just fucking hand them out for free. Well, I'll tell you what, we'll get into this very quickly, in and out very quickly,

but obviously, when I lived in London, when I lived in London for nine years, I spent the biggest chunk of that working for a restaurant chain, the head office that was in London. It was, I think they're mostly defunct now, but it was... Obviously. the head office that was in London. It was, I think they're mostly defunct now, but it was... And this was all around the time when there were several scandals, like the tipping scandal.

But the sort of big one, it wasn't a scandal, but it was basically what happened when two-for-one deals were injected into the business model. And basically, Pizza Express was the first one to do two-for-one discounts right and they were huge colossal do you know what i mean packing out the restaurant the pay the great minds that we used to work for this company who i still maintain to this day are some of the most broken psychopathic people i've ever experienced in my life and without them I would not be doing this because no I'm not naming

them specifically by implication you have it's very easy to pinpoint from the information you've given so they would we're going to take those names out Joe I know I said we wouldn't do any editing and you had an easy episode I didn't realise

no because it's not specific names. I think it's not like libelous or... How can you not work it out? No, but this would be like, you can call management teams psychopaths. Joe, do you think that bullying is acceptable? Yes or no? I don't think it's bullying because you're punching up. These are your bosses at the time.

But honestly, I want to say thank you to these people because if they had i was not i am not a courageous person i should not be doing what i am today and if working in that place was any less psychopathic than it was i wouldn't i'd still be there do you know what i mean was i'm guessing you worked there around the time of the height of The Apprentices and the rise of Gordon Ramsay. That, I think, seemingly enabled a lot of absolute bellends to shout at their subordinates. But that is what the hospitality industry, to some degree, is fueled by this like master, auteur-led approach.

The chef, you know, like at the highest level, the Michelin star level, that is an auteur who curates an experience and is an artist, facilitate or can facilitate negative behavior and how you treat people. We know that this is just how the world works. Series two of the bear. Series two of the bear. But that, that sort of like regard for the chef and stuff

went inexplicably from Mitchell and Style Level down to the people that worked for the restaurant chain that I worked for. Do you know what I mean? Some of the littlest little chefs. Like little chefs, the littlest little chefs. Like little chefs. The littlest little chefs. The guys that are doing basically boiling the bag carbonara were screaming at everybody.

And you're like, mate, you are not doing... Every bit of your job has been engineered in a mega cooking site so that you are basically just heating bags up. Just as an aside, I had a Wetherspoons meal last week. Table service. The table was was i would say and i'm not it was a big pub with a big garden i would say 100 meters no 60 meters away from the kitchen the table i ordered it on my phone ham egg and chips i would say i'm not this is not an

exaggeration three to four minutes after i ordered it, it arrived on my table. Wow. Fried an egg? A fried egg? That's the worrying thing. How did he fry the egg? Yeah. Or was it already ready?

But they're doing high volumes of dishes and that will be a high volume dish to some degree. It's an egg. It was like 8pm. But to some degree, what I'm saying is they will have a rolling... Do you know when you're doing a full English breakfast for a buffet, you just keep the eggs coming because you're doing that many of them? Are they binning eggs then? Maybe they've got a little egg holder. You are not paying for gastro-cooking experience.

You're paying for it cheap and quick. Give it 10 minutes, so I'm not concerned. Yeah, there's a fine line between convenience and worry. But I always think with Wetherspoons, Wetherspoons is a big city hack. Like we were saying, there's no place for you to go to the toilet. There's no place for you to sit down. Wetherspoons are the only places that basically you can just wander in.

Go to the toilet, no one will bother you. They're so high volume. There's so many people there. The thing is, the guy that runs it's like a mad head isn't it and I always feel sorry I was just about to congratulate him for building the only sort of public space that's open to everyone but I always feel sorry for

as a former marketing person myself I feel so sorry for his like brand manager at Weatherspoons because you know that they just want to do a promotion on summer drinks you know that they just want to do a promotion on summer drinks. You know that they just want to produce a pamphlet on record licks, like summer range and cocktails for the ladies.

But he comes in and he's like, yeah, yeah, that's good. But what we could do is print a 20-page booklet about all the people that said I did something bad during the pandemic. And I actually was right and I beat them in the court of law. I'm just going to make that into a manifesto or a book. And like the print runs, you don't like to make like a 12 page. I haven't seen it, but you,

the character of this person, this public figure, you know why it's called Wetherspoons? Yeah. It's petty. It's petty. And it's basically, it's his old,

it was his teacher who said he would never do anything in his life. So he named it after this teacher. It's amazing how that can drive you throughout your life, isn't it? That's why he's printing up beer mats that say, I'm right. Why did no one ever say that to us? That's what I want to know. That's a good point. We'd never make it.

I don't know. I do believe that I have a photographic memory for slights. I do believe that someone being slightly dismissive of me has been one of the key driving factors in me going like, okay, then we will do this. We've talked about this. Anyone's sort of general behavior not being open and warm is usually taken as a slight, not just by you.

I've had to basically divide. Basically, I keep meeting people at the Edinburgh Fringe and being like, they're a dickhead. And then you're like, no, no, they're just in an incredibly stressful, pressure cooker environment and they're not their best selves. Speaking of, not long now. thank you for listening to rural concerns if you enjoy listening to this show please consider

supporting us on patreon for less than the price of a really good usbc fast charging socket you'll get frankly libelous bonus content as well as access to our online discord community the creamery which i still don't have access to i don't know why i'm being asked to read all this stuff out when like half of it i don't even know like it exists well all i'm saying is i'm gonna i'm building up to letting you into the discord but it comes with some rules because we're chatting about some cool stuff we're all buying deathtrap dungeon and a few of us have got those and we're talking about

the mechanics and multiple choice adventures. Are there any mucky books? It's not been, no, but this is the start of how something horrible happens, isn't it?

We start with a normal one and then we build up to a mucky one. Have you ever written erotic fiction just for a laugh for yourself? We've got one minute. I'll do it quickly,

everyone quiet. Alternatively, you can drop us a five star review on Spotify or Apple Podcasts to help trick the mighty algorithm into believing the world needs another podcast

of some lads having an aimless chat. Here's one from Apple. Gav, this podcast is more than you imagine. That was a title capitalised. Unless you are a proper imagineer that works for Disney rides

and parks and something. Despite being in the over 50s centrist dad's bracket and often targeted casually with the ire of Christopher, I've continued listening and finding solace in the content. You'll like it. He does like it. And please note, if you give anything under the full five stars,

it will cause a computer glitch that will turn off the life support machines of veterans. Thank you for your service. I can be in service. Rural Concerns is edited by Joseph, Democracy Manifest borrows, and produced by Egg Mountain for A Lovely Time Productions.

Fucking hell. Our artwork is by Poppy Hilstead. Our music is by Sam O'Leary. Here's an inspirational quote. And the quote is, all I believe in is food and myself. That's by Action Chronicles. Thank you.

Bye. Where are we vis-a-vis? Visit us podcasting.