Rural Concerns - Community pub, Euston & ouija board etiquette

Episode Date: November 5, 2024

Chris gives us the lowdown on a newly opened countryside pub, Sunil reveals a secret about the most chaotic rail terminus in London and much to Producer James’ chagrin, the lads agree to prioritise free speech over pleasing corporate overlords. The boys also read a letter from a young man who’s living the dream. We’re doing the first ever live edition of Rural Concerns on Saturday 1st February 2025 at The Bill Murray in London (💩). Over half the tickets have already gone, so act now to avoid missing out! Grab your tickets here! Chris is going on tour with his Edinburgh Comedy Award nominated show. He’s visiting Edinburgh, London, Leeds, Manchester, Bristol, Barnard Castle and Leicester. Get your tickets, here! Drop us an email at [e-mail] if you have a Rural Concern you’d like discussed! The best way to support this educational podcast is through Patreon. For less than five quids you can get bonus episodes and access to our Discord community, The Creamery. Click here to start supporting Rural Concerns today! Our music is by Sam O’Leary and our artwork is by Poppy Hillstead. Rural Concerns is edited by Joseph Burrows and produced by Egg Mountain for A Lovely Time Productions.  

Hello and welcome to Rural Concerns, a podcast about the countryside, the city and everything in between. Well, as long as by everything in between you mean charging cables. My name is Chris. My name is Sunil. My name is James. That's all of our names. Let's smash on. Heya, heya, heya. Welcome to this episode of Rural Concerns. I now announce the banter is open. Oh, I didn't like that. What was that? I don't know.

Just because it's like, how do you start these things? It's hard, isn't it? Well, I don't think we've used the word banter on this podcast before. I don't think we've pretended to be a town crier before either. I'm just trying to make things, keep it a bit fun because everyone's probably

and in terms of re banter you can call you can call a a tiger a very big cat do you know i mean but we all know what it is it's a tiger do you understand what i'm saying no we can avoid the term banter but but what's happening? Yeah, that is what we're doing. That's what we're doing, isn't it? Yeah. I thought you were saying we've got a tiger by the tail because you're such the Bantzmeister.

This is Alec the Eggheads at Harvard University figuring out what you're on about. The Eggheads in the Discord group. As much as I think you're both nice to chat to i'd never call you bantzmeisters what not in a bad way that's not meant to be that town crier impression i didn't know but he would never do that in public he'd only ever do that on our podcast he'd never come into a pub and do that with it with his own bell can you imagine what i'm like to be within a pub? Oh, man.

He's a quiet little mouse. He's not getting served. Nursing is half a shandy. He's not getting served. Oh, my God. Back of the queue. No, I just, I'm not, Sunil's right, I'm not. I will just sit there like a little shrew

and just observe everything that's happening. Do you know what I mean? And then slag everyone off in a script three years down the line. Yeah. I'm a purveyor of experiences. Do you know what I mean? I do often think I absorb, do you know,

if you just sat there, I look at how someone like, I don't know, like drinks to drink or something like that. And I'm like, that's weird. And then I'll keep it, index it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But we've got stuff to talk I'm like, that's weird. And then I'll keep it, index it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But we've got stuff to talk about. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, yeah. We've got like literal stuff. So now. This looks very exciting from Chris. I've just got a lot.

It's been like last time we'd sort of met, we didn't really address the document at all, did we? So it's like a, it's like a splurge of events that have happened. But should we start with, what have you been up to, Sonu? In the city? City Sting. Let's go. City Sting. Here is the city, mate.

I went to the countryside again. Okay. Country Sting. Here is the countryside bit. Spent a day at a country house, just working little jobs around there. It was called Western Park. It's in Staffordshire. I think, from what I remember, that's where they signed an amendment to the Good Friday Agreement. If you guys remember that. Oh, yeah. What was that 90 it was after the initial one when they needed

to clear up a few issues anyway yeah went there tried to work in the house met the staff tried to work in the kitchens did a bit of chopping was very bad at it wasn't allowed a job in the kitchens and then this is the worst thing they have a miniature railway there but the guy only works whenever he wants so he wasn't there that day i couldn't have a go on it what yeah terrible but yeah just had a lovely day in the country it's basically all for the radio show so i can't really feel too much about it but the exciting news oh yeah we want that embargo on that hot radio for content yeah you know you want to save that one for deadline. I mustn't reveal because there's lots to reveal.

Okay. The main thing is that I can reveal that on the way there, Euston station. Don't know if you guys know Euston station. Yeah, a little bit. I used to go there a lot. I'm there at least twice a week at the minute. Yeah.

Possibly the most shambolic station in London. Pure chaos. Absolute chaos. There's a little haven, a little retreat that you wouldn't normally notice tucked away underneath a staircase down a little alleyway. And it's called Hotel Chocolat.

As in the wooden Euston station? Yeah, it's tucked away there. You would never notice it. It's, I mean, yeah, it's not, that's not like a sort of hidden london type grade and that's a secret london tip from me it's the hotel chocolat in euston station because and here we go the lack of coffee options in the area you got pret you got leon disgusting absolutely disgusting

coffee i like a pret what coffee yeah are you mad are you mad but i don't drink coffee to enjoy it i drink it like administering medication do you know what i mean like a drink yeah but you still don't want it burnt which is how it comes out of pret no but it comes out you taste it it tastes of fags and you're like yeah you know what this will do just like all right well next time yeah pop yourself around to secret london hotel chocol. It's just underneath the staircase. It'd be hard to find. It's between the WH Smith and the platforms. You're going to struggle.

You're going to struggle to find it, but look, it'll be there. Walk into there. They do coffee in there. And here's the thing. They do a lovely mocha. I didn't go for it, but my producer, Ben Sutton, did. They said, do you want cream on top? He went, yeah, why not?

It's not just cream, boys. It's chocolate cream. Oh, my days. It's like ganache on top of your mocha. Oof. It's thick, chalky ganache on top of your... Yeah. Anyway, so we got the train after that.

He couldn't shut up for two hours. It absolutely did a number on him. In a way yeah just a sugar high that sounds good and now that you're saying this of course like how busy and chaotic euston station is you're totally right of course the hotel chocolat does have this secret coffee function yeah it's largely just you can walk up get your coffee immediately no queue no queue at all yeah i often go in there if i've been away for a few days they do these little you know like little trays of tiny chocolates they do them and i normally get me and nick could they do a little deal like two for 10 quid or something and they do these pistachio chocolates and they are one i love them like i used to go and used to get

like i'd buy if i've been away for a few days it's just like a little thank you for doing all the child care type gift placation we used to buy i used to buy different ones i bought the pistachio one and this one and another one or whatever but now they're just like and like ensued the rest and pure pistachio because they're just the nicest one oh you can the rest and pure pistachio. Cause they're just the nicest one. Oh, you can choose just a pure pistachio. Yeah. Yeah.

They do little trays of, of like six chocolates that are all a flavor team. I think you buy three for 12 quid. Well, I that's, I was in there. I don't know if you guys do, do advent calendars.

Yeah. Big time. For the children, for children. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, yeah.

Just for the kids all right let's not talk about it then yeah i didn't mean you have to think though i'm an adult man someone who lives in an infantilized state that most people in london live in like the adult children of london what you're about you play world of warcraft on your pc you play card games i don't play world of warcraft also these card games you need a degree to understand the rules which is why i actually haven't played any of them because i can't get made around the rules you're going to an interactive war of the worlds experience later today do you know about that i got told about it don't worry i got my info i know about your movements day to

day whenever you're in london i know what you're up to. Yeah, it's not limited. He's going to London today. Listen, listen, this is a private. I get a signal every time he's arriving in the city. Yeah, yeah. You just, if I'm wearing shorts, you just, you just follow the crowds, don't you? Yeah, I'm going to London for a couple of days, mainly because it is radio show crunch time

and we need to tighten it up. I must say, James, behind the scenes, Chris is really getting in the way of my radio production. Oh, really? What? I don't think that's happening at all. Constantly calling the producer, ruining my and my producer's time together

with his wittering. Incessant. He's got a flip phone. Has he? A Razor? Is it a Razor? No, it'scessant. He's got a flip phone. Has he? A Razor? Is it a Razor? Yeah, yeah. No, it's a Cat, as in Caterpillar. Do you remember Caterpillar? Not remember them. They make diggers. But yeah, they make phones. The shoe brand? Yeah, the shoe and digger

brand make phones. What? I would have killed for a pair of Cat shoes back in the day. Like the Wu-Tang Clan? No, they were Timberlands, weren't they mainly? Yeah, I think Cat was like the sort of English market version. I think it's one of those ones where, you know,

outside of, in America, in a different country, it has a totally different brand perception. You know, like from what I understand, you know like Dickies, like which is skater

related stuff over here, but in America, it's just something that like builders wear and stuff. Got a little coffee coming in. Have you? That's a Nicola. How's your hand Nicola?

Lovely. Oh, that's a thumbs up. Very nice that. That's a thumbs up. That's a good thumbs up. That's brand, brand new skin.

Brand new. Yeah. No fingerprints, which means if anyone crosses me, she'll come at them in the night. What was I saying? Yeah. Car hat.

Car hat. In them in the night. What was I saying? Yeah. Carhartt. Carhartt. In the UK, a luxury brand for dads who've hit 40. Yeah. I assume that we're all in Carhartt. I don't really wear Carhartt. Like, because it's an old person's cool brand. Are you wearing what the kids are wearing? Crop tops. old person's cool brand. Are you wearing what the kids are wearing? I just think... My problem with Carhartt is that

the American brand Carhartt is built as almost indestructible work wear, which you can't just wear anyway, but they licensed it to a European company called Carhartt Work in Progress, which is a separate company, and they make lower quality but more fashionable cuts

of the original stuff more fashionable but less hard-wearing perhaps we should say in case car heart work in progress decide to sponsor us i reckon they will we're our market yeah we're their market aren't we the only brand we've got left is anchor they're the only ones that we talk about in revered holy we talk about their products as if they are holy relics. Anchor Butter. No, the guys that do, they do my brilliant portable charger. Oh, yes. I would never buy Anchor Butter. A multi-tool charging end thing.

What were you texting me about this morning, Chris? I want like, do you know, like I want a little thing that has got all the little cables, converters on. What's up, James? I've just, I've just zoomed out to, remembering that we're recording a podcast here. Yeah, this is what it's about. It's what people want, apparently.

James, can I, can I just say something that's just going to blow your mind one degree yeah in the patreon discord group for people who support this podcast for three pound a month they have asked whether sonil would do a special bonus episode to talk about amazon black friday oh yeah i did see that in terms of our audience which i won't lie has plateaued we're gonna play to the crowd this is the this is the this is the content they want this is how when political parties die isn't it they just concentrate on their core we are we are we are the death throes of the Tory party. All right, sorry, no more cable chat.

Keep that to the Patreon episodes, please. Next item on the agenda. We haven't had any country news. Well, you went to the country house. No, no, I mean from you. I want to know what's happening in your village. Well, I want to know why you were so bad at things in the country house. What were you bad at cutting?

Well, I mean, I'm nowhere near as good as the chefs that work there. But you're not, have you not, did you not get good in lockdown? At chopping? Yeah. Nah, not really. I had Hello Fresh.

Ah. And then they give you like three tiny little potatoes. They give you food, but they give you food that's chopped already. It's like, I hate Hello Fresh.

Guys, they could easily be a sponsor. They could easily be a sponsor, Chris. Do you know what? I haven't heard from those boys for a bit. What are they up to? The HelloFresh gang. Making delicious meals easily doable by people who live in London and can't go to a shop like an adult and buy.

No, I am afraid that like, even talking about companies and sponsorship is blunting our edge and we're not allowed to speak the truth as we always have done on this podcast. And I think that's more important than the few quid you could earn. James, I don't think, if you have got into this union for money,

I've got some bad news. So Sonal, in the country house house who was the most who was the most senior ranking official that you met during your time there did you meet the lord of the house the lady of the house very interesting story the lord and lady of the house had to give the house to the nation about 20 30 years ago and then they try and run it as a business so it's not part of the national trust or anything like that but there is still like the actual house with all the artwork and stuff in there the most senior person i met was the head curator gareth he just keeps hold of the history of the house that's all it is it's but it's quite strange it's a halfway between a national trust

house and a working like event space so they try and do everything there what do you mean they had to give the house to the nation is that the word you use they had they had they had to because of death duties inheritance tax so they gifted it in perpetuity to the nation yeah but they can still live there no they don't live there no i don't so they got kicked out by britain yeah i think they still sort of vaguely have a hand in the running of it because it sort of earns a living and stuff but yeah they yeah i don't really understand the business of it because like i think like but if if if you own that house and you had to you had a lot of money on it you'd either have to sell it to a private seller but there was loads of artwork in there that was like

deemed of of note i've got a site well in our village we've got a couple of buildings that are owned that are like owned by the village in perpetuity now i think the village but i don't understand the legal side of it but on a bit of countryside news from my end countryside staying just imagine it yeah yeah i'll put it in afterwards in the edit in village, we've just had a new pub open, which is a community-owned pub. Now, that's in direct competition to the normal pub that's always open there, right? Yes, but it's murky, I think.

What, the other one is murky? No, the other one's great. Like I say, it's the one for the community, the other one. Traditionally, there were two pubs. And from when I lived here, the one up the road that's just reopened, which shut for a while, and it reopened, and it's been reopened as a community one. But originally, that pub was, because it did food,

it more catered to the walking community. Whereas the other one was just a pub that sort of opens at five, Because it did food, it more catered to the walking community, you know, like the heat. Whereas the other one was just a pub that sort of opens at five and largely when you go in, you would see the working lads, you know, in there from the farms and stuff. No food really. A wet pub or a wet bar. Yeah, yeah. So there was like a sort of natural split.

Crisps? Crisps, definitely crisps. What sort of brand crisps are we talking up there? Are you Seabrooks? Seabrooks. Seabrooks being bought out by a Chinese company, I think. Still called Seabrooks, aren't they? Yeah, Seabrooks was like a shining light.

You know, like my wife would be going on about Northern Irish Tato crisps and stuff, and you'd be like, yeah, they're all like absolute dog shit compared to Seabrooks though. But now- Seabrooks were the king, yeah. But now Seabrooks, Seabrooks was a Bradford brand. But now from what I understand, it's been bought out. So it's-

Sorry, have I inadvertently touched on bring back Bradford better? The crisp cantrell movement. You've got it back front and centre. We're back in Bradford heartlands. Yeah. No, it's not Seabrooks. What crisps do they have up there? I think they've got it back front and centre. We're back in Bradford heartlands. Yeah. No, it's not Seabrooks. What crisp do they have up there?

I think they've got walkers and I think that I need to do a record. I need to confirm. The other pubs reopened and I went in for the grand opening and I went in another night to have my tea because you got to support this sort of thing. I still want to, because in the gap, I've been going for little drinks on the Sundays when I'm not away. In the other pub, I'm still trying to,

I'm not saying goodbye to one over the other. Do you know what I mean? I want to facilitate both. And overall, it's a very good thing for the village. But I found it very interesting being in the newly reopened community pub because there was a load of people in there that i've never seen before and you're like who are these people and where have they come from and there was a really interesting like there's some you know you know as in there's like different bits of it like maybe there's some people that

don't drink in the other pubs anyway so I've suddenly expanded the cast of people that I thought made up this village, which is great. Every last two times I've been in, there's been some lads that look like, I don't know, they look like sopranos goons to me. Do you know, like they're coming in wearing tracksuits and one of them burps quite loudly. Like the sopranos. Like the sopranos. That was one of the burps quite loudly like the sopranos like the sopranos you know

and i just that was one of the key things wasn't it so i just think yeah i think we won't have words but i think you know like it's very interesting and the most interesting thing that happened on the pub reopen we went we took went in on halloween night because they did we we did a little loop of the village for the boy to do trick-or-treating and then we went in on Halloween night because we did a little loop in a village for the boy to do trick-or-treating. And then we went into the pub where apparently a Grim Reaper was coming to tell stories. Sort of like a Father Christmas vibe, but it's death personified.

Yeah, it was weird. It didn't entirely work, but, you know, you don't begrudge somebody giving their time up and doing something for the kids. Especially if they're holding a scythe. Especially if they're holding a scythe. But it was a guy who came out like a bit of a sort of goth funeral undertaker. And basically what he did was tell some stories about the village.

Now, from what I understand, I don't think this guy's done it before when he's volunteered his time. So it was brilliant. And also it's the first one, so the next one will be even better. But he was telling these stories. He told some ghost stories, but then he sort of ended.

The guy is legit a ghost hunter and he veered out of the stories and into, like, I don't know how to describe it really, but like an impassioned warning to the children of how not to conduct a Ouija board. How not, how not to, as in like how to do it safely? As in, as in like these, I can't remember all of the facts, but it was like, never do it in a graveyard.

Oh my God. Never. Um, whenever you are, whenever you're done with it, always say goodbye. Yeah. No, sorry, carry on. Why do you have to say goodbye? Because if it's a malevolent spirit and you're not polite, they might not respond kindly to that.

Demons are really into manners, aren't they? Yeah. I think they're just grumpy though, aren't they? Because they're just grumpy though aren't they because there are demons or because they they're demons maybe they were grumpy before they died and grumpy people will take i think demons are not people demons are like the devil's minions kind of thing like like you'd see in a in a hieronymus bosch is. Angels who've been tempted by Simpsons porn. Do you know what this is? Yeah. That's your autobiography, isn't it, Chris?

Chris Cantrell, the angel who was tempted by Simpsons porn. I think I said Timpsons porn there, which is another brand we can't use. Yeah, that exists as well. Yeah, I want this key cut and the rest. What does that mean? I don't know. I don't know. It's horrible though, isn't it?

But the tone that this guy shifted from telling vaguely historical stories about the village to a stark warning to my son, who's an eight-year-old boy, about how he should conduct a Ouija board. It was honestly the most, it was such, it was, it was so, such a full on and he was deadly serious as well. So I was like, I, at this point, I'd gone over the other side of the room because my son is basically my son loves getting involved in group things my son is i found out recently a

heckler so i was i took myself off to other side of the room where my mother and father-in-law was sat with their friends so i sat down and then my mother-in-law's friend started saying to me, like, do you experience anything in your house? Have you ever had experiences in your house? And I went, no, to be, I don't, I don't think so. And then I was being very polite, but this friend bought me and Nicola a special candle that apparently had some sort of blessing on it. Sage. Yeah. Sage.

Yeah. Yeah. And was meant to, she said, well, you meant like basically when we got that candle, what we were meant to do in our house was light it and take it on a tour of the rooms of the house to cleanse it.

And I, and I said to my mother-in-law after I was like, Jen, I think we just burnt it like a candle. We didn't take it on a tour. We just put it. So from what we could tell, our front room is very, very free of ghosts. I'm surprised it didn't make you pass out.

What do you mean? Because you're a malevolent spirit. Oh, right. It's at the very least a trickster. Yeah. For now, at the very least a trickster yeah at the very least yeah I've started watching

a TV show called Marianne about a it's a scary French TV show where it's got a witch that inhabits the bodies of people

and the only thing that she can't lie about is her name you know she's a trickster she can change the subject she can distract you but if you ask her a name

she has to tell you it. And that, yeah, it's scary. What's this on? Netflix. Is it in French? Yeah, it's in French, unfortunately. I'm saying it's just like, I used to just not care about subtitles, but my capacity for reading has just dropped off a cliff.

Are you not of the generation where you have to have subtitles on all the time now? No, but my son is. My son's just like getting very comfortable with having subtitles on. So we have them on a bit more than we used to do. But as someone who kind of believes that I'm going partially deaf, it's like I'm sort of getting into the vibe of it, but I don't want to yield to it just yet. I have them on for everything as well, but yeah.

I'm reading at the minute. I don't know. It takes me a long time. And I read lots. I read thousands of words every day. But most of it is like just fucking gibberish talking to you two in the WhatsApp group, you know. It's just like nonsense.

But I've sat down to read The Trial by Franz Kafka. And I've been reading it for about three months. Look down the other day, page 39 you know what I mean? Where are you reading it? What time of day? I'm reading it in bed before you nod off. It puts me to sleep and sometimes even finding

where I was on the page the previous night I'm asleep in that but I'm not reading during, I'm not one of these London comedians that you know, you're sitting in Soho Theatre reading books. You're just of these london comedians that you know it's it's so half here to read in books you're just reading franz kafka for fun yeah you can't this is the problem i can't i'm struggling to read as well the only thing i've really sort of really the thing is you've got to start reading books that you actually enjoy you've got to start reading

all of the sharp novels anything by bernardwell, Ken Follett, that's your bag. Yeah, yeah. But I've come off of a couple of books I've really enjoyed, but there is a thing in the head to like read a classic, read someone from a different point of view. You know, like my wife's got all these books and I'm like, I just can't quite, I don't know. It's about some- What books is your wife reading uh good books good books i don't know but i'll tell you this

the colors the color on the cover is like a tuscan sort of orange or like a house with a peach background you know what i mean so that's the type of vibe of a book. Whereas my books that I read are like black cover, blood red writing. Gothic script. I've read that. I told you I've been reading books about goblins and I love them so much. Oh yeah, that was what you were reading.

But after that, I read one that I really enjoyed that was called Red Team Blues by Corey Doctorow. And it's about, it's a detective novel, like an old fashioned, like structurally, it's an old fashioned detective novel, you know, like a Maltese, like a noir, like a Maltese Falcon type story. But it's about a forensic account.

The detective in it is a forensic accountant and people hire him to track money and to basically, like, and in the story, this guy has lost some secure enclave security keys, you know, for like mobile phones or something like that. I don't understand the technology per se, but basically some blockchain shit.

And he's, the mystery is him backtracking and finding like who stole them via, like, anyway, I just really loved it. Yeah. Red team blues is a plot different, a plot driven detective story told in Corey Doctorow's distinctive style of high-tech internet subculture.

This guy's a fascinating guy. This guy's like an activist. He writes, he's mad. They call him like social fiction or something. It's a subdivision. It's a subdivision of science fiction. Yeah, it's a grabby next Tuesday thriller. Yeah.

About cryptocurrency shenanigans that will awaken you to how the world really works. He just read in the blurb. Just read in the blurb. It's about the difference between offense and defense. His website is craphound.com. Oh, yeah. This is a good, this guy is like passionate about, you know,

like creative commons licensing and stuff. Oh, yeah. This guy's a big brain. I enjoyed the book. I give it a recommend. James, put the recommend sting there. We haven't got a recommend sting. What would it say?

Just put there. Put there. And it's like, this is an official recommendation. Add that to the list with Hotel Chocolat on it. Yeah. Put that in. Put that. This is an official recommendation. And

take off the Swiss chocolate nutty clouds. I've just got to say, before we do the letter, there's a lot of swearing nowadays, Chris, when it comes to admin. It seems like you're getting a bit annoyed at the admin. No. I love the admin. You've put in brackets here, Sunil reads the fucking letters. But last recording,

there was, like, lots of, there was lots of, like, picking holes in the script, you know, like, and saying, it says we all read the script, you know, and it's like, fuck off. Just read it. So, it was that energy being carried over do we have any letters yes we have this letter from roger the subject is lads dads and sanitary pads hello roger what

is this a chill this is like blue peter yeah it is through a kafka-esque lens yeah because sometimes this podcast does feel like never-ending fucking bureaucracy where it's designed to punish one man. The system is designed to punish one man who's a nice man. It does feel like one of us has turned into an insect. That's the only thing I want. And if he's written any other books than that, we don't care. We don't want to know about it.

Because I won't be reading another one after this. Right. Let me clear my throat for Roger's letter. All right, team. My name's Roger, and I'm a very big fan of the pod and of your other individual works. Chris, I came and saw your Edinburgh show, and you referred to me as Ross or Rob on the pod the next week, which I was dead chuffed about because you also called me young. I'm sorry for getting your name. I'm sorry for getting your name wrong, Roger. But you did look like a kid to me, which is not a kid, but you know, like here's a young, here's a promising

young man. Right. I wanted to email in as an urban living listener who works in the country. I'm a forest manager who lives in Glasgow. So I have to travel out of the city for work I grew up on the outskirts of Leeds so now live in a more urban area than I did as a kid as such I was wondering what does this make me am I a rural listener or a city mouse listener I spend most of my working week roaming through my forests managing replanting and harvesting across 14 forests over southern Scotlandotland but spend my evenings and weekends in the dead dead urban environment of glasgow city keen to hear your thoughts and wanted to reiterate that i bloody love your podcast you three are brilliant and giddy chris

always makes me laugh cheers roge p.s i travel around cumbria for work and i'm in northumberland next week for a few days of leave with my wife and my dog and i'm sorely tempted to try and work out chris's village from the shag loads of info he's given away on the pod but don't want to be a dead creepy prick so we'll probably just go to the beach instead pps sorry about the title i've had a whole beer and very little tea and didn't know what to call this sorry thank you very much roger thank you roger thanks roger this is an interesting one first off the first point i'm going to zone in on like a laser targeted missile i grew up on the outskirts of leeds yeah yeah so roger please could you give us in a follow-up in a follow-up email your bd postcode you grew up in

bradford bradford is the outskirts of leeds shocker no no leeds is the outskirts of Leeds. Shocker. No, no. Leeds is the outskirts of Bradford. Bradford's one of the biggest cities in the UK. Bring back Bradford better. Yeah, but Leeds has got a Harvey Nichols. Yeah, it's also got... Why hasn't Bradford got one?

Because Leeds has stolen all of Bradford's glory. Yeah. Okay. Anyway, sorry, Rog. Sorry, Rog. Roger, you're from Bradford. glory. Yeah. Okay. Anyway, sorry, Rog. Sorry, Rog. Roger, you're from Bradford. Leeds is a giant tick of the Northwest. I also have a separate question for Rog as well.

I went to a sort of replanting scheme near Glasgow as well, two and a half hours out of Glasgow in the Highlands. And I want to know, Rog, is it true that the reforestation has been done in the past quite badly with foreign trees rather than Scots pines? Thank you. Oof. Oof. Big questions. Yeah, we were talking to a conservationist there and they said that people get paid money to replant trees on their land in Scotland. But it's often done these very, very fast growing trees, which aren't native to Scotland.

And the Scots pines, which I think smaller pines take a bit longer to grow and people don't really tend to use them as much. I mean, it's a bold, bold gambit because he could be one of the non-Scots pine planters. But he deserves a right of reply. He does. Yeah. deserves a right of reply. He does. Yeah.

So, Rog. Cheers. Or just knock on Chris's house, because it sounds like you know where he lives. I mean, I've not made it hard, really. There's not many houses with witch's brooms on top of them. It's also, Roger, would, does, near, near-ish me, there's this, this like a military base

that is surrounded by forestry land, which is lots of these trees. And it's a very interesting bit of the country. There was a Radio 4 show about the quietest place in the UK and the guy didn't reveal the place, but I believe it to be around this area but also what i found interested about this forestry grown area they grow the trees in lines do you know in a natural world they've got these lines of trees and and they basically blow over very easily because they're

not like there's no natural security of them like locking together. Higgledy-piggledy. Higgledy-piggledy. And root networks and more diverse stuff in the land. So, Rog, could you, what I just said, could you make that into a question and answer it? So, I mean, if it turns out Rog is really proud of how lined up he plants his Norwegian furs. We're in big trouble.

I believe him to be, as I am. Because Roger Setter, aside from working in the countryside, there's several key areas of overlap with my experience. You know, I grew up on the outskirts of Bradford. I grew up in Bradford too. You grew up in Leeds. I grew up in Bradford. I grew up in Bradford too. You grew up in Leeds. I grew up in Bradford. I live in the countryside, but I believe no matter how long I'm here, I believe that even though my body and nervous system is reprogramming to a quieter, greener way

of life, I believe that when I die on my deathbed, you cut me and I'll bleed to a muck. Do you know what I mean? I'm the city. You have been reading Corey Doctorow, haven't you? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, it was a good book.

But I do think Roger is a city man. I do think it matters where you lay your head at night yeah and Glasgow's like for what a bit like

do you know what I mean Glasgow's wicked Glasgow is the Berlin of the UK can I say that with absolutely no I don't want to have to explain myself

I get it do you know what I mean it's cool Glasgow's cool Edinburgh's the most beautiful and it's very cheap is that what you're saying no I'm not saying that is Berlin cheap I the most beautiful. And it's very cheap. Is that what you're saying? No, I'm not saying that.

Is Berlin cheap? I doubt it. Yeah, it is. It's remarkably cheap. Is it? It's the cheapest major city in Germany, yeah. Edinburgh is beautiful. I think Edinburgh's a strong contender for the most beautiful city in the UK. It's

magical. But Glasgow's very cool. Problem with Edinburgh is full top to bottom with posh London cunts. Glasgow, wicked. You are, but, here's a city mouse, but you've got an influx of countryside into your life. And it's this juxtaposition that i do believe means that there is an inflection point of happiness somewhere in that so you're saying roger's happy now i'm saying that roger

i don't know what roger's got going on him out of a feud going on with council yeah i've been caught fire tipping i don't know anything about his life but if he's splitting his time between the city and the countryside if he's going to if he's got easy access to laser quest if he's splitting his time between the city and the countryside, if he's got easy access to LaserQuest, but if he can go out for a PAYE paid hike, then to me, being out in the countryside, it's good for your body. Yeah. It's good for your mind.

Is it? You spend a lot of time outside in the countryside, don't you? Yeah. Okay. Not as much as I'd like, but you do, when I'm feeling mad, you just like get yourself out for an hour, take it in, take the view in. It does. It just inspires you to draw those eight-titted women you draw.

Can you stop talking about the eight-titted women? He sends you one picture. Eight-titted women drawings have been a recurrent theme throughout our friendship, Chris. I'll tell you what I'm going to do, because we're finishing this record and I'm on train to go down to London, very much to Glasgow and have...

That wasn't an edit. That wasn't an edit, listener. That was Chris backing out of a sentence all by himself. No, because I was giving London, I've just said loads of, I was just saying how cool, I was just saying how cool Glasgow is. And then I was saying London's cool

and I didn't want to do that. I think London is the Edinburgh of the South. I think that's fair. It's yeah, full of London seas. But not as beautiful. You're saying it's full of posh London cunts then. But on this train route, I'm going to be doing one thing and one thing only.

Drive the picture of Sunil Patel with eight tits that will be going straight to the Discord. Yeah. You can meme it up with that picture of him. So that's a good advert for the Patreon. Yeah. Join the Patreon and you can have access to Chris's doodlings. Three quid and you can see content that Sunil has no inclination to ever check.

Sunil cannot comprehend how much his personal messages are just going directly into the Patreon account. It would blow his mind if he could see what content was on there that he sent me in a private encrypted space. So thank you, Roger. Thank you, Roger. Thanks, Roger. Thank you for listening

to Rural Concerns. Just a reminder that we're doing our first ever live show on Saturday the 1st of February at the Bill Murray in London. That's 2025 and grab your tickets now because they're selling very fast. And we've already started work on what will be a special element to the recording, which I don't want to say too much about, but I was leaving voice note messages for james the other day and i'll if i said to you guys the feast of a thousand sorrows

i mean that's just just i mean james has done that thing where i can't see whether he's got a blue tick anymore you don't see he's he don't want to he don't want to be seen to be seen seeing it you know so get your tickets and if you a rural concern, you can actually email us to it. Email us to it. Email us to it at christopheratalovelytime.co.uk. And the best way to support Rural Concerns is through Patreon. We're an independent podcast and we are sustained by your pennies. And for less than a fiver, what you'll get is regular bonus episodes,

ad-free episodes, plus you get access to the online Discord server, which is known as The Creamery. Give us a little taste of what's happening in there, please. Well, something actually brilliant has happened because they picked up that in one of the recent episodes, Sunil has made a mistake. No. They made a mistake. When discussing, we did a public service announcement on Nutty Clouds

and the calories, and Mike in the Discord community has said, I think Sunil mixed up jewels and K-Cow numbers. You should be able to eat four bags of Nutty Clouds to get your daily recommended calories. This is great news for lovers of Marks and Spencer's almond flavoured Nutty Clouds. I've actually got a bag here and Mike, you've changed my life. You're absolutely right. I was wrong. 147 calories per fifth of the bag. So yeah, you can have as many as you want. You took that on the chin. I didn't think that would happen. If I'm wrong, I'm happy it's,

it's, it's worked out well for me. Yeah. I suppose there is a, a double edged coin here, in there. Or a single sided sword. A single sided sword.

Right. So please support us now by heading to patreon.com forward slash rural concerns. And you can also leave us a five starstar review on Spotify and Apple Podcasts. And it has to be five stars. It has to be. But Chris, what will happen if they try and give us a four-star rating? A Margaret Thatcher flashlight will automatically

be dispatched to your workplace. Probably best put five stars then. I wish there was another way. Rural Concerns was edited by Joseph, 4chan and a bunch of fannies, Burrows. Our music is by Sam O'Leary and our artwork is by Poppy Hillstead. Rural Concerns was produced by Egg Mountain

for a lovely time productions. You can cut those out if you want, Joe. And as a reward for listening to the end, here's a very brief inspirational quote from Robert Greene's 48 Laws of Power. When you show yourself to the world and display your talents, you naturally stir all kinds of resentment, envy, and other manifestations of insecurity. You cannot spend your life worrying about the petty feelings of others.

Ooh. Yeah. Yeah. I think that's a good one yeah it's nice isn't it that one yeah it's not as bleak as the others yeah a bit more hope into it just like do you do you you do you it could be summarized as yeah yeah you do you and we support you no we don't we have petty insecurities. Do we? No, but that's what it's saying. Oh. Like Chris with that guy in the pub. I'm a seventh level sort of Buddhist type mindset. Do you know what I mean? I've totally... What?

I've totally foregone human inadequacies of the human spirit. All right then. Smelling weed used to be a special event, didn't it? Being on the street and smelling weed was like, this is an unprecedented event. And now it's just, this is Tuesday. It's everywhere. Who's smoking that?

Turn around, it's a cop. Do you know what I mean? Do you know what I mean? Bong! Like that.