Rural Concerns - Dungeness, jet office & personal drones

Episode Date: November 18, 2024

Chris’ advice puts a friend in a tough spot, Sunil visits the silliest office ever and James continues to be smug about his internet speed test. The lads also discuss the logistics of having a personal drone. Chris is taking his Edinburgh Comedy Award nominated show on a tour of the UK! He’s heading to the Soho Theatre from the 4th - 7th December, then it’s on to Edinburgh, Leeds, Manchester, Bristol, Leicester and Barnard Castle. Get your tickets, here! We’re doing the first ever live edition of Rural Concerns on Saturday 1st February 2025 at The Bill Murray in London. Around 75% of the tickets have already gone! That’s loads! Grab yours here! Drop us an email at [e-mail] if you have a Rural Concern you’d like discussed! The best way to support this educational podcast is through Patreon. For less than five quids you can get bonus episodes and access to our Discord community, The Creamery. Click here to start supporting Rural Concerns today! Our artwork is by Poppy Hillstead and our artwork is by Sam O’Leary. Rural Concerns is edited by Joseph Burrows and produced by Egg Mountain for A Lovely Time Productions.

Hello and welcome to Mobile Concerns. How would you describe it to someone who hasn't listened before? How would you describe what? It. How would you describe it to someone who hasn't listened before? How would you describe what? Thit. How would you describe Thit? That. Thit. How would you describe Thit?

This podcast, it's a podcast that's born out of a desire to check up on how our little friend Chris was doing after he moved to rural Northumbria. Didn't say little. Sunil also lives in London. So he keeps us up to date with its cutting edge cultural trends. And we both are wrangled by our producer, James, who doesn't laugh very often, but when he does, it's more delicious than hot chocolate. Very good.

Anything else? Yeah, we're all, I'd say, quite hefty in his own way. We're hefty, but we're not threatening. We're not threatening. But we would absolutely wreck anybody that tried to hurt our friends or families just to get some bloody likes on a TikTok. Boo!

Chapter one, the business. What is the order of business? The order of business is, first off, I would like to apologise for my general tone and atmosphere during the last recording session. Things got to me geopolitically. I was hopped up. Yeah, on sugar. You had three brownies.

I had two little, tiny little sections of brownies. He knows his limits, that's a no. But it certainly didn't help the situation. Yeah, you were jacked up on Treybakes. I was jacked up on Treybakes. I said a lot of bad stuff, created a lot of work for people. What's been going on, Chris? What's been going on in the countryside?

Yeah, let's do countryside sting then. Let's just drop it there is there is this countryside bit there i want the the that you know the gap let's just drop it you know like can you do the gap of hey hey hey hey? Smoke weed every day. That was it. Okay. I bet if you took that recording and put that over the song, it's fucking bang on. Chris, can you turn the radio down while we're recording, please? Hey, hey, hey, hey. What?

Smoke weed every day. I've got like, I've got several things to talk about. Can we have one? Yeah. Can we have just one of them? Yeah, that's fair. Yeah. I want to talk about one.

I've been hanging around a lot recently with my good friend and business partner, Amy Gledhill. Where was that? Two different places. We're working on our radio show, which we'll be recording in a few weeks' time. So we're prepping all the work for that. So we've been meeting up. And she took me to a place called Dungeness. Nice. Have either of you ever been?

Yes. Have you? Yes. I've been on the little railway. What did you make of it? It's a bit weird, isn't it? Because it's right by a nuclear power station. Yeah, and it's a small one.

Is it quite small, the building? It's unassuming, isn't it, the nuclear power station? No. Oh. The nuclear power station is... Assuming. Yeah, it's huge. Oh, it's not the little one I was thinking of.

I thought it was like a little steel building. What is it then? Has it got reactor bowls, whatever they call them? It's got like, there's lots of signs about nuclear material and stuff like this. It's like a giant industrial complex. But I would say that Dungeness is one of the most beautiful places that I've ever been.

Perhaps, like, I don't, maybe beautiful is the wrong word, but like a beauty of stark desolation. Like next to the nuclear power station, you've got, apparently they call it the UK's only desert, but it's got these like, I don't know how to describe the terrain, but it's like shale stones everywhere.

It sort of looks like pictures of Dust Bowl America type stuff. You know, it's out with weird little shacks. It's like a big pebble beach, but you can't really see the sea and they're almost in dunes, aren't they, of pebbles? They're almost in dunes. It's all pebbles. There's like a mixture of real shonky looking shacks

that look like they're going to collapse. But obviously it's become like this destination for like artists and creatives. Most notably, there was like a guy called Derek Jarman. Yeah. I think he basically lived there and his house is like a sort of museum of sorts that you can go into. But basically it's got these like, it's a mad mix of detritus like there's weird bits of stuff from like naval like shipyardy type stuff mixed with some of the most high-end buildings you've ever seen

on the on the stones on the stones yeah and they're like shacks that are like are they old railway carriages or something that's where ed sheeran recorded really yeah there's a recording studio there inside a railway carriage yeah there's a bunch of these old railway carriages and they're like artists retreats and that's where we went to write in one of them in some like in some built in some like little hut that inside was one of the nicest things i've ever been in in my life like it was gorgeous so we went there and i was just like, this is amazing. And we had a good time. But we did have a difficult situation.

Basically, she wanted to take a picture of us and put a phone on a bit of wood and used some pebbles to keep the phone still. Ah. So we could, and then the pebbles instantly slid away and her phone fell and smashed on the pebble. So that was awkward. Ah. That's why they don't make selfie sticks out the pebbles instantly slid away and a phone fell and smashed on the pebble. So that was awkward. That's why they don't make selfie sticks out of pebbles, do they?

No, did that. And then at night, like we were down a little track, a little pebble track, and which you drove all the way down. I wasn't driving, Amy was driving. And then you drove all the way back out. Sounds like you got lost. No, worse. Like you had to reverse backwards.

But basically Amy was like, oh, it'd be great if you could just turn around. And I was like, you could just turn around. I said a few times, I said the terrain is all the same. I said the terrain is all the same. I said, the terrain is all the same. So she started turning and it happened both very slowly and incredibly quickly where the minute, like she was slowly, slowly, slowly reverse. The second she left the path and was on the shale siding,

like the shale next to the path. She couldn't have been more profoundly stuck at all. So was the main path made of like compacted shale? Or was it like, it wasn't like tarmac? It wasn't a separate path. There's like occasional bits of tarmac path, but the bit outside the house was like compacted shale. Right.

And you think it'd just be like a gravel drive off to the side exactly so i said the terrain's the same so she did it she couldn't have got more stuck she couldn't go like she was spinning her wheels the wheels were getting buried pinging stones off left right and center i imagine so i was still next she was doing that i was so that i got and then i was just like pivoted to i'm just going to help as much as possible so i was like digging the wheels out from where what do you mean you pivoted to I'm just going to help as much as possible. So I was like digging the wheels out. From where? What do you mean?

You pivoted to I'm going to help as much as possible. What had you started as? No, no, as in like there might have been something said that might have led us to believe that all the terrain was the same. So past that point, it became my job to be as sort of like a good guy as possible because i there's a world where i could have been in trouble so i dug the wheels out but then at this point foxes started coming what and the foxes weren't the foxes weren't scared of humans so they got really they were watching me work and they got really close to me amy was really scared so i made her

sit in the car and then we had to call the AA. And the AA got us out after we couldn't find him. And then when the AA guy finally, and he was so lovely, and he wasn't judgmental at all, like sometimes roadside guys can be. The minute he left, Amy went, all the terrain's the same. And I was like, fair play to you for not mentioning that for three hours. Fair play. So yeah, that's Dungeness.

What an exciting adventure though. Almost getting stuck on a murder beach. Yeah, it was great. And I will remember I got a little... Murder beach? I got a little... There's lots of people knocking around Dungeness, you know, that live there that are like... It feels like things can go...

People can go missing there yes it does it's like the people that are knocking around there that live there there's everyone we talked to that works in the pub or something like that or in what like we we bought little pictures you know like someone had converted their little shack and they had a little art studio in it so we bought a little postcard print type thing everyone there sort of almost had the vibe of like why do you why are you here you know like that like they couldn't get their head around why it might be considered beautiful yeah but dungeon s is like it is a place to visit isn't it it's quite a famous place now well not famous but it's like a it's a notable destination for people yeah but we had this we had this where like my mother-in-law in our in our village was in the pub and one of the people

in the village who was drunk was just like why why have chris and nick moved here right yeah yeah why have they come here yeah you know and i couldn't get their head around why we're here and the answer is it's beautiful one of the most beautiful places i've ever seen in my life that's why i live here but like if you're in it and you grow up in it and stuff like that i can imagine that it is just a bit of an odd thing to get your head around i'm just looking at pictures of the nuclear power station yeah what do you think so that's dungeon sb so is there a dungeon s a not that i know of is there two is there two there's two i found the other one it's next to it it's just right next to it there's two power stations next to each other then there's the Dungeness Bird Observatory,

the Old Lighthouse, and the Britannia Inn. I mean, these are all... It sounds so desolate. Oh, no, there's a snack shack. Oh, thank goodness. Oh, that looks nice. I was going to say.

Just fish. Just snacking on fish? Well, they're snacking on fish. They're frying it up and snacking on it. Oh, okay. That looks really good. Oh, Chris, that looks great. We'll go.

We'll do the live show there. We'll do another live show there, part of the tour. Yeah, it really is an interesting place. I mean, you told us it was the only desert in the country as well. Yeah, but I don't know whether that's verified, but that's certainly on the marketing literature, do you know? Yeah, okay. It looks like it's one of those places where there's one road in

and often it's just the sea has taken the road yeah but there's i i could understand i can understand i can understand why people for a certain mindset it might not be perfect do you know i mean but it's also one of these places where it's like i'd love to retire there you know i find places that are sort of empty kind of staggering. Honestly, it's kind of a bit about why I love living in the Northeast. There's bits in the Northeast coast and stuff. They are popular. You do see people there, but there's also some places where it is quiet.

You can find little nooks and crannies that are totally empty, and I love that sort of a place. I love industrial things like on top of natural beauty and stuff, like a power station. And I could see myself retiring there. You know, like some old comedian. I'm well past my prime. This is years in future.

I'm on my own. I live in one of these shacks, totally blind. Nickel have exploded 10 years ago. Do you know, like this sort of thing. And like, I'd be like, do you know, like when when they like an old kung fu master out in the middle of the out they track me like young comedians or come and they'll track me down over the desert and i can't say anything but they'll say i just thought could you and i'll just say and give me your notebook and i'll get in a notebook and i'll just feel it with my non and with my fingers because I can't see anything with my eyes.

And I'll say, you should probably put cum at the end of the sentence because that's a funny word. Do you know what I mean? They're like searching for wisdom from an elder. Just add more cum jokes. Can I do a suggestion before we talk on to what Sunil's about? You know what we haven't done in ages? An internet speed test.

Oh, right. Okay, well, you're catching me. Okay, fine. Yeah, I'm catching you. Sunil's internet has just gone down, and you've been, I could almost hear you rubbing your hands together when you're typing into the WhatsApp group,

saying, I need to do an internet speed test soon. I'm doing mine right now. I just typed in speed test, and it's on the Google search page. I typed in the internet. These will be our official figures for the quarter. Oh, okay.

Okay, I'm going to run it. There it goes. I've done mine, so I'll go first. My internet connection is fast. I have 23.7 Mbps download and 5.19 Mbps upload.'s not that good yeah i know i don't have a particularly snazzy package what wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait right

i got a number of things going on here i've come back with a terrible score okay yeah you have been grainy throughout this entire but i've clicked on wi-fi settings i'm a thing and you know you get like you've got like you know networks and then the ones that you're connected to it doesn't say i'm connected to any of them so you're running on what i'm on ghost internet at the minute i've got two internets here you're on starlink maybe i'm gonna i'm gonna have to connect to the one that i know is good if this is don go. Don't leave me with him. But I might drop off. Okay.

Chris, what's your speed test, please? Okay. Thank you for asking. It is download 69.2 MBPS. Upload 18. That's very good. Yeah. This is okay.

But I am working on something else that's going to knock this table on its ass. And what is it? Go on quick. There's some new broadband touting around in the village. They're a new company. They've come in. They give you a wire that comes to your house. But basically, they're called Fibrous.

I've never heard of that before. But they are hooking. That sounds like a bad thing. They are hooking houses up in the village. They're getting downloads of 450 plus. And what do they call that wire? Do they call it the wank wire? Yeah, high-speed wank wire.

Yeah, that's concerningly high compared to mine. James. James has gone clearer in his image. Look. Just swept over to the proper internet. Oh, so do you want a V want a v2 yeah go on then 141.2 down 141.4 up where are you people getting this fast internet from who's your company james i don't know it used to be called the wank wire was it swish fiber or something? You're on Fibre.

Chris, what are you on? Yeah, I'm new Fibre. They bring a wire to your house. Yeah, Fibre's the one that's come... Fibre is fibrous, isn't it? Are you on Fibre now, Chris? No, no, no, no, I'm not, because we're in a contract with Bloody Pussnet.

These guys are paying you out of contract. They're paying people in the village out of contract. Hang on, hang on. Have they dug up the road yet, though? Because they've got to dig up the road yes yeah sirs please sirs how much is your monthly internet bill please for this guy yeah 25 quid no that can't be i think i'm still in a promotional beginning and i'm worried about what's gonna happen when that promotion ends i'm with the uk's best broadband provider. Which? Zen Internet. A number of which recommended provider awards. I do remember Zen Internet, actually.

I just think I've gone for the lowest package, haven't I? I mean, it's good enough, but... Right, well, I'll work on that. Maybe they do our high... I don't think they can control how much internet you get at your house. I just went for the cheapest one. If you've not got fibre coming into your house, there's not much you can do because there's the copper in it.

Even if it's fibre to the end of the street, you're still behoven to the copper. What? You can't get as much internet down a copper wire as you can through a light tube. All right, I'm looking on their website to see if I can upgrade. The podcast Patreon, we will support this. We will pay for it. Really? Oh, I oh no that's rubbish it said it at the most it can get me is

57 what's going on i live in london yeah but you live in the rats nest don't you there's too many there's too many people other rats yeah too many other rats on top of each other on the internet watching how many people are watching can you even imagine how many people are watching Brooklyn Nine-Nine in the immediate vicinity around your house? And not even actually watching it just while they're doing

something else. Just doing something else. They've got Brooklyn Nine-Nine on. And then probably Instagram videos on their phone as well. Yeah, little clips, little shots of Brooklyn Nine-Nine. Yeah, okay, fair enough.

Well, you know, that was disappointing for me. That's been really disappointing. Maybe I'll move to the countryside I think we could talk to Sonil here is the city mate I met Tuka Suleiman

from Dragon's Den went to his office what what and then I met a man who sells jets whose office is built like a jet

like the inside of a jet he told me the future the best business to get in at the ground floor right now is drone transportation they're not gonna do drone transportation he said they've just been licensed in america amazon have just been licensed he said next up we're looking at personal drones what do you mean a personal drone to fly you around personal drones to drive, maybe a couple of other boys around. No, no. A personal drone lifts you around.

That's right. Bollocks. Flying cars are coming back. Fucking bollocks. Well, they're coming. It's not bollocks. It's people like you with your small minds that can't see the future like me and other business leaders. Do you know what I think a personal drone will mean if they clear a drone?

But they can't imagine drones just, you know, like with things in the air, just like millions of drones zipping about over you like bees. No, just follow the road network. That sounds like a nightmare, son. It sounds like... It'll be autonomously controlled. It'll be autonomously controlled with a pilot in it. It sounds like a nightmare.

You've got a personal drone. I have to take... Nobody's allowed to do podcasting for some reason so i have to take up a job as with a flamethrower going into people's houses and burning books does that sound like a good story to you well it's ray bradbury's fahrenheit 451 that's exactly there's no drones in fahrenheit 451 is it the plot have you had another tray break chris no i just can't believe they can't believe there'd be a drone that would basically be strong enough to lift me.

That sounds mad. Of course there are. There's drones now that lift huge payloads. Is there? It's on YouTube. They deliver loads of medical aid around parts of the world that are really remote. What are they powered by?

Electricity. Batteries. Surely the batteries are so heavy. Batteries are heavy, you're right. But they, yeah. Right. But what a personal, I could say a personal drone. batteries surely the batteries are so heavy batteries are heavy you're right but they yeah right but what a personal

I could see a personal drone you know if you've got a drone basically programmed to like stick to you like so I'm like oh I can't be arsed carrying this bag

bag goes up into air and then I draw it down with a hand gesture what do you think of that I don't like that no I'm like you're like so no you want a little vape

but you don't want everyone to know that you carry a vape all the time so get a drone to carry my vape above me yeah and then you just cut your fingers

it drops in your hand no not even that it comes around puts it straight in his mouth yeah into mouth drop it right into mouth take a drone

blades are going in his eyes it's horrific no but he said okay so the first way it's going to start is, well, Amazon are delivering stuff via drone now. He was like,

there's obviously food delivery that will happen quite simply. It's like you can just order your Starbucks and it'll be dropped off by drone, which does seem plausible. A much better way

of doing that than having Uber Eats and Deliveroo absolutely screwing over people who've got no other choice than to drive around London on motorbikes. So what, so would restaurants be like a drone assembly point?

No, well, I don't know, but I assume the drones would be owned by people like Deliveroo. I suppose what you want to do is start investing in second and third floor businesses. Well, what happened is that, you know, the, you know, the ghost kitchens that are in London now, it will probably be around those. Yeah. The dark sites, is that, you know, the ghost kitchens that are in London now, it'll probably be around those. Yeah, the dark sites. Is that what they're called? No, that's torture sites. That's where like Guantanamo Bay and stuff. Yeah, no. Probably drone people in there as well.

Ghost kitchens are just where there's like three chefs making 10 different menus from different restaurants, I think. That's, yeah, I've seen that. I've seen about them. Yeah. So I assume that's how it'll start. But I mean. So it'll be like a central kitchen. All the drones will go to that, drone their way out. Drone their way out, in and out.

But yeah, interesting, isn't it? Oh, you can, drone loader will be a job. Drone loader will be a job, yeah. But it will, do you know like restaurants and stuff, and they've changed immeasurably now when you go in and there's like basically a fleet of, there's like an area in there for, and none of the restaurants have been built

with this development in mind. So you basically have these sort of areas where there's like, if it's a high turnover restaurant type thing like in McDonald's or whatever like that, there's like a big section of McDonald's now is kind of devoted to a holding area for people just waiting for these delivery type packages and stuff.

With the big backpacks. People with the big backpacks. Big square backpacks. They're sort of just hanging around. They're in there a lot. So everyone knows each other and stuff. And that will be replaced with someone who, what, a drone lands in their hand like a bird?

They make a gesture. They make a gesture. They make a gesture from above. A unique safety, like, I'd go like that, look at the camera. I can't see. I'm just seeing the bottom of a microphone. I can't see because it's cut off because of the way you've positioned yourself. I do that. And then the drone can recognise that from the sky.

Just for the listener, he's made a unique hand gesture. Is that from Cares or something? Yeah, and it comes to me. Come to me, John. And then as well. That's right, yeah. As well. You know, if I'm getting picked on by bullies in the bus stop,

I can just go, come by. That's right. Blades in their eyes. That's absolutely right. Blades in their eyes. Or, alternative, blades in their eyes. That's absolutely right. Blades in their eyes. Or, alternative, blades in the eyes. Or, if someone's giving me, someone's like, blanking my head, do the hand gesture,

down a drone comes in. Apparently this is possible. Picks someone up, flies him off and drops him into a volcano. If I choose to hold on to, if I choose to. Now, firstly, listen, there'll be no blades in the eyes. As you know, drones don't have exposed blades as it is now, do they, the big ones? Do they not? They have circular guards around them.

Oh, yeah. Oh. Because that's extra weight that you've got to get up in the air. Anyway, his office is like the inside of a jet, and that's how he sells these jets. He's like, this is what it will be like, you know, that kind of vibe vibe i won't be working in here when you're on it yeah yeah i'll just be having meetings in it so is this is this guy getting into jet jet cult like is he getting into drones drones no no his name's steve varsano he's he's quite big on social media but it's very interesting he just he just he's just got an office that's like a jet inside on park lane and that's a part of london i don't think i've ever actually walked around and it is

insane the whole area like mayfair all that yes right two questions one what makes mayfair insane two what do you mean it's built like a jet? Like the shape of it or like the materials or what? Imagine the fuselage of a jet is your office and that the fuselage is inside the office. Like you see in films, like we see in films. Like we see in films. Like you could pretend you're in a jet if you took a picture of yourself inside that office.

So there's jet windows which have a video screen behind them showing like the sky going by if you're driving up park lane you can see his office it's next to one of the big hotels there it's quite open to the public from the outside you can see like it's a jet you're inside a jet it's like marketing for his business really into it you're like it is yeah it's really good marketing because you want to be in it everyone wants to be in a jet everyone's everyone wants be in a drone, picked up by a drone. Not if Chris is controlling it. Yeah. I've got my little wrist,

arm wrist thing on, I'm like, drops you off, you know. And can you just tell us, just to wrap up this piece, can you tell us about what, you met a dragon?

What are the? Oh yeah, dragon from Dragon's Den, Tuka Suleiman. Good lad. Right. He was giving me some advice on how to start a business.

He started out in the rag trade and now he's obviously a fashion guy, makes clothes and sells them. So he gave me some good info. I think there's... He was like, he was telling me how to start a business. He was like,

you want to find something that you can buy cheap and sell for more. Right. I do believe that's not necessarily, you know... What? I do believe that's not necessarily, you know, I do believe that's quite an old insight from the business.

Have you ever done that? I tried to do, I tried to tout some tickets once, you know, like when I was a younger man,

I was like, I've got these tickets, spare tickets, I'm going to try and sell them and make a profit and I ended up losing

quite a lot of money on like Matt Goss tickets or something like that. Do you know what I mean? Matt Goss. Half of Bross. Something like that. It may have been one then, but it was... You tried to make money on tickets for half of Bross.

Did they even tour separately? I don't... I might have got the person wrong, but either way, I believe I made... I believe I got into a world that I shouldn't have done. What? Touting. Hustling for Ticketmute Live.

A hustle culture, Sigma grind set. This sort of thing. It was, what am I doing doing that? So I just thought I'd settle into the rut that I'm very happy with, writing little bon mots in my notebook. How far into the grind culture did you get before you realised it wasn't for you? Yeah, what time did you get up? I do rise and grind. I do. I do. I do rise and grind. I do.

I am. I would be someone that wakes up at, I wake up with the markets. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. What time's that? Six. No,

no, no. What do you mean? I get up the earliest in this podcast. No, no, I don't, but the markets don't open at six.

What time do you get up James? Fish market, mate. What? At the minute, if I'm lucky, mate. What, at the minute, if I'm lucky, 7.30. Oh, shush, Mr. Lying. Oh, really?

Shush, Mr. Lying. 6.30 is kind of the norm. 6.30 is the norm, really. Shush, Mr. Lying. Shush, Mr. Lying. 6.30. 6.30, that's okay. We're broadly similar.

Sunil gets up at... You're not even going to ask me, are you? You get up at about 11 o'clock or no? Because I message you. No, I don't get up at 11. I message you. Yeah. I message you at 7 o'clock and I sit looking at that WhatsApp message

until both ticks turn blue. What makes you think I haven't already read it on my notification screen and decided to get to it after my two hour long morning routine? What's your two hour long morning routine? Is it grind culture? Workout, meditation, smoothie. These are the follies of a silly man. What working out are you doing?

I've got some new adjustable dumbbells don't worry about me. This is like my brother-in-law will tell me problems from his life and his problems to me are laughable problems. Problems of, you know what I mean? I ain't got enough time to work on this project that I'm writing and stuff like this.

He's like, I haven't had any time for eight years. But you've made it work, hasn't you? I've made it work. Yeah, how many times did you get nominated for Edinburgh in them eight years? In them eight years, exactly. Tell the listeners. Tell the listeners. The key is not to have any time at all.

Not to have any time at all and never, ever. I am relaxed and I can't read books and I can't understand board game rules, but still I will not seek a diagnosis. You're the definition of hustle culture. Thank you. Okay, well, well done. I've just had a text. I've just had a...

I tell you, me and my wife are on increasingly shaky ground at the minute because I keep slacking off on the podcast. I've just got a WhatsApp notification saying, bullshit, you've had no time. You have a lot of long train journeys to do. I have a lot of long train journeys I have a lot of long train journeys I'm allowed to bugger off for two

three days to Dungeness I have done nothing but apologise can you apologise to us I don't want to

apologise to you too because you're my friends being friends is never having to say you're sorry thanks for listening to rural concerns do we have any live shows to promote chris yes james thank you for asking i'm doing my show, Easily Suede, in London, if you please, at the Soho Theatre from the 4th to the 7th of December. And it would be... 2024.

2024, yeah. Yeah, in about a month's time. It would be the biggest honour of my life if you were to come... To the Soho Theatre in London to see Easily Suede between the 4th and 7th of December. Yeah. Cool. What can you tell us about this critically acclaimed show, Chris? Well, it's about how it's a show

which, and this doesn't happen very often these days, but it's just a laugh, do you know? It's like culturally a bit of a dead time for comedy, do you know? It's like culturally a bit of a dead time for comedy. Do you know? So it's like laugh, laugh, laugh. And that's hard to do. That's hard to do.

You're selling it. You're not just playing London with all these laughs, are you? I'm taking all of these laughs around the country. Bristol, Leeds, Manchester, Edinburgh, Leicester, Barnard Castle. And just a reminder, we are also doing our first ever Rural Concerns Live on Saturday, the 1st of February at the Bill Murray in London. Over half the tickets have gone. Ooh.

Chris has got back into touting. Yeah, it's selling. It's selling very nicely. At a point where I'm shocked to the point where, please, I have another show on. Please come to the show. Come see the solo show.

Come see the solo show because the solo show is written within an inch of its life, whereas the live show of this podcast is just going to be almost certainly two hours of rambling bollocks. And you can get tickets for both of these shows at alovelytime.co.uk.

What do you mean by both? It's in my solo show. Oh, is it all on there as well? It's all on there. Great. The other thing that I would like to say is if you want to send us an email, you can email us at christopher at alovelytime.co.uk. Rural Concerns is an independent podcast,

and the best way to support us is via Patreon. Yes.co.uk. Rural Concerns is an independent podcast and the best way to support us is via Patreon. Yes, that's it. For less than a fiver, you will get access to our Discord server which is called The Creamer and there's lots of fun chats going on. Right, support us now by heading to patreon.com forward slash

Rural Concerns. And you could also leave us a five-star review on Spotify and Apple Podcasts. You can comment on Spotify now. Yeah, it's a brand new feature. could also leave us a five-star review on Spotify and Apple Podcasts. You can comment on Spotify now. Yeah, it's a brand new feature. You can leave us little messages and we'll respond. How many stars should they leave, Chris, though? It has to be five! Wait, wait, what happens if they gave us

four? If it's four, then an algorithm will hire a real world assassin to come into your bedroom and put a pillow over your head and shoot you in the head through the pillow. So please put five stars. We don't want that to happen to you.

Yeah. Good Lord, please put five stars. Rural Concerns was edited by Joseph Nanu Nanu Burrows. Our music is by Samuel Leary and our artwork is by Poppy Hilstead. Moral Concerns was produced by Egg Mountain for a lovely time productions. As a reward for listening to the end,

here's an inspirational quote from the book, The Concise 48 Laws of Power, Robert Greene, new edition. Law 34. Yes, please. Be royal in your own fashion act like a king to be treated like one the way you carry yourself will often determine how you are treated in the

long run appearing vulgar or common will make people disrespect you for a king respects himself and inspires the same sentiment in others by acting regally and confident of your powers you make yourself seem destined to wear a crown thank you i love that one swan about swan about like a prick and the world is yours and people will think you're a prick and that's Well, maybe you do, you big bloody giant. Chris, come on. No, he's just a normal size. No, he's not that either. Somewhere in the middle.

I'm normal size. I'm just nearer than you thought I was. Bong. Like that.