Rural Concerns - Eye masks, long drives & big cats

Episode Date: March 4, 2025

James has been watching some films, Chris wants the bullies to hear and Sunil has eyes like a 12 year old. The lads also catch up on some letters including an update from their favourite wreck head… Chris still has a couple of tour dates! He's off to Barnard Castle (22nd March) and Chorley (17th May) Grab your tickets, here! Got a Rural Concern? Drop us an email at [e-mail]. The best way to support this educational podcast is through Patreon. For less than a fiver you can get bonus episodes and access to our Discord community, The Creamery. Our artwork is by Poppy Hillstead and the music is by Sam O’Leary. Rural Concerns is edited by Joseph Burrows and produced by Egg Mountain for A Lovely Time Productions.

Good day to you and welcome to this latest episode of the young, beautiful and metabolically vibrant podcast, Rural Concerns. I am Sunil Patel and I live london god's last stand against the hordes of discount warehouse stores that are slowly taking over this country i'm chris cangel and i moved to a rural adil and now i have no friends near me to have a little coffee with nowadays i only visit the big city twice a year to visit my special doctor who reassures me never no microplastics in my lap. I'm producer James. I like dogs, bubbles and chip cheese beans. Best films I

ever seen was Equalizer 4, especially the bit where Equalizer 4 absolutely fucking barred those Spanish lads. James is probably referring to Equalizer 3, where Denzel Washington takes on the Sicilian mafia. Anyway, let's get on with this episode. Lovely stuff. Well, yeah, I don't want to speak for James, but I do think we're kind to you, yeah.

Cruel to be kind. Yeah, harsh truths. I consider't want to speak for James, but I do think we're kind to you, yeah. Cruel to be kind. Yeah, harsh truths. I consider it cruel to be kind. Yes, that's true, because otherwise, what happens? The decline of civilisation. Spare the rod. Spare the rod. Spoil the child.

I think as well, I know me, I'm the personality type where if allowed to operate with like full support, I'd become a monster. Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. If people,

people would just be nice to me and telling me I'm good all the time. I'd go, I'd go fully off a deep end. Have you ever stayed at like a proper fancy, fancy hotel where you have like a butler and stuff? Not a butler. The fanciest. Have I told you this? Like butler and stuff not a butler the fanciest have i told you this like nicola once won in a raffle two nights in a hotel in amsterdam that was 500 pounds or 500 euros a night wow and we went to amsterdam and you had to have a meeting with a concierge

when you went in and it was like near christmas time so we sat down to talk about the booking and got mulled cider you know like like mulled cider poured in hot glasses and we talked and they were like okay so what they took us through the scents that we can have pumped into the room and and we got a porcelain a porcelain gift thing full of cookies to take away. And Nicola was like, we should go. We should go and investigate Amsterdam. And I said, no, Nicola. It is within our means to visit Amsterdam.

We can afford to come to Amsterdam, but we can never afford to come back to this hotel. So let's just stay there. Go to the swimming pool downstairs. Hey, look, I did one of those under eye masks the other night. Oh, yeah? Yeah.

I can still see it. I can still see your eyes, yeah. I keep seeing it. They keep getting advertised to me. Garnier, vitamin C. That's an official recommendation from the pod. No, it isn't. First time I've ever used one.

Felt great. Hold on. He's gone. Our producer's gone to get his face mask. Producer's gone to get his skincare routine. I think you might have noticed, but we did an episode the other week where I was talking about just looking at myself in mirrors,

looking very old, and you were like, watch your skincare routine. And it was just like... Hot water. Silence. Hot water and a flannel. That's a tough flannel. Silence for me, but I want everybody to know

that following that humiliating reveal, I now have quite an intensive skincare regime. Take us through. We're talking chemicals. I'm just like late to it. So I'm catching up, which means I apply moisturiser like an Australian cricketer. You know what I mean?

It's like dripping off my nose and stuff. War paint. It is quite late though. It's kind of like doing weights in your 70s, isn't it? No, I'm fine. And I think I'm going to be fine. Is it, are we breaking, is this podcast taboo breaking? Because we talk about mental health issues and...

Bins. Bins and skincare. Is this like breaking taboos, or does every male podcast talk about mental health? Is male mental health done? I think we should roll it back a bit. I don't think we need to worry about that. I think we should roll back,

like talking about male mental health. Just put it back in the box. If I order these eye patches now, they'll arrive by 10pm, so tomorrow I'll have eyes like a 12-year-old, won't I? I get all my wife's offcuts. Right. From her beauty regimes.

So she, what's that picture of? I don't get the gold ones. I haven't got the gold ones. I want to be like shaved in liquid metal. You want to be like... I want to look like the Terminator, the T-1000 from Terminator 2. No, you want to be like one of them Harkonnens in that bath. Yeah, I want to be like... I want to look like the Terminator, the T-1000 from Terminator 2. No, you want to be like one of them Harkonnens

in that bath. Yeah, I want to be in that bath. I want to be kissing my nephew on the lips in that bath. You're going to swell up like a big balloon.

You're going to float to the ceiling. And when I'm angry, I'm going to fly up to the ceiling. Listeners, if you are quite new to the podcast,

I suggest you do some background research, which is what's his name? I want to say... June 2. By who? What's his name? Danny Villeneuve. Danny Villeneuve. How do you pronounce it? Denny.

Villeneuve. Number three, this. We are too old. Dune. There's already some... Do you know know apparently what i got the i heard it so apparently then he wanted to i don't know how you managed to get such contempt into that word but you really slammed me he wanted to so he wanted he did dune one and two and then wanted to just like take a break for an indefinite, like not an indefinite, he wanted to do other stuff, you know, because I think in terms of the books,

the story moves on significantly like the next chapter. It doesn't go proper nuts and people, spoilers. I don't know. I think, I don't know, but he wanted to leave it some time and come back to it. But then apparently Warner Brothers were like, we would be very keen on you making this immediately because it was obviously, so I don't know if that's a good or a bad thing for the future of Dune.

But do you know what? If there's one person that we can trust to do it, it's Denny. Can I, it's gone off camera to do. Oh, there's a little dog, little dog's in. Where's he gone? What's he gone for? There's a little dog. The little dog's in. Where's he gone? What's he gone for? There's a little dog coming. Countryside issue.

Well, the dog is a countryside issue. An animal? There's a little dog in my house. Is that just roamed in? Has he got the right to roam? He's got the right to roam. Do you know what? We need to talk about right to roam.

Can we have a... We've been talking and talking. Can we just point of order? Where are we in? What should we talk about? We're all waiting for the document to be shared by you. I saw you slamming me for not sharing the link. I'm on it now.

You're on it? No, actually, I'm being silly. I'm being silly. I can't believe you haven't got this important document. So it's a joke now you're on. How do you exit chat, exit group chat group chat but in real life what do you mean group chat well our chat it's gone wrong i need to exit and and mute notifications right chris you've got a number of topics you want to talk about this is men are be the letters episode

though we've also got a ton of we've got a backlog of letters but i think this is just men to be letters i think we've done our waffle i did want do, I did want to catch you up on my films. Cause I finally watched some films. I don't want to be some podcasts. Like it's like talking about films. You wearing a cap. This isn't what this is. What's dog man.

It's a kid's film. It's good. I've seen it. It's all right. Yeah. It's all right. I thought for kids, for a kid's film,

come on. No, for a kid's film actually is very, I was very, yeah. It's all right. Yeah, it's all right. I thought... For a kid's film, come on. No, for a kid's film, actually, it's very... It was very, yeah. Snappy. Yeah. Good energy. Well animated as well. I really like the look of it, yeah. Into the Spider-Verse.

Yes. It's like just upped everybody's game. Yes. You watch that? I wandered in. I took my son in, wandered in to put in boots the last wish i was like okay i'm just gonna zone out and go to sleep sensational that's a good film that's a good film it looks like a million bucks too and i think it is because i'll just say this then we need to move

on we need to do the the loose premise of the show and that but it's i think it's because like animation was like rushing towards like basically like which one can look the most human whereas i think now it's like embracing that it is an animated medium and you can push things in like like artistic vision is more important than like graphical fidelity that's my opinion you see this is why we don't talk about films it's talk about art now though aren't we and what it is to be human yeah exactly i didn't quite realize that i also saw madame webb why have you watched madame webb when you've when you were dad with because i heard it was so bad i heard it was so bad and i wanted to see why. And it's amazing how bad it is for what was touted as quite a mainstream

release that they obviously wanted to, you know, be up there with like the good Marvel films. I've started a little list of films. Go on. Which I haven't seen. They are Rebel Without a Cause. I've seen that. Seven Samurai.

Not seen that. These are classic film. This is, I don't understand what you're doing with your time, James, is the point that I'm trying to get to. I don't understand, as a father of two,

with time commitments, that you are going into a film that's so bad, it's actually bad. I don't know what you're doing. It's interesting to see, because a lot of people, there was a lot of media discourse about it. But what time of day are you watching these films?

Between 8.30 and 9.00. AM? PM. Half an hour segment? Yep, that's all I get. That's all I get. No, at the minute my wife is away, so once the kids are down, I've got time to watch a film. I watched The Last Voyage of the Demeter,

Dracula on a Boat film. It's quite fun. Bit like Alien. I watched, I saw the TV glow. Very good. Very depressing. What are these films? I've heard of that one.

That's meant to be good. It's good. Why don't you watch, why don't you watch proper films? What do you mean? Jack Reacher film. You know what I mean. Jack Reacher the film.

John Wick film. John Wick the films. I've seen some of the John Wicks. James know what I mean. Jack Reacher the film. John Wick film. John Wick the films. I've seen some of the John Wicks. James, can I ask you a question then? So, take us through. So, you've obviously

got, you've got the hallowed second evening. Wife is out. You don't have to pretend to watch some shared thing. You've got time. You don't have to

pretend to watch Love Island, do you? Married at First Sight Australia doesn't start till next week. I've got time. Yeah, but App to pretend to watch Will Vivald anymore. Married at First Sight Australia doesn't start till next week. I've got time. Yeah, but Apprentice is back, isn't it? I do not like, I don't, I can't, no. Please, there's some absolute wallies on there.

I like the wallies, but I don't like that Sugar sort of enabled middle management to think that you can be a bellend and that's fine. Same as, what's his name? the cook with the craggy face? Ramsay. Ramsay allowed middle-aged men to shout at people. We don't shout, do we? Who were their subservience. No.

No. And while it may be something we want to aspire to, we shouldn't do it. I don't think I'd feel too bad. I feel bad. Chris, you'd love to bellow at some do it. I don't think I'd feel too bad. I feel bad. Chris, you'd love to bellow at some new comedians, wouldn't you? When I worked for, when I worked in an office for my biggest chunk, I worked in like a truly dysfunctional place,

which involved like some of the worst people that I've ever met to this day. Chris, Chris, Chris. And they were, listen, listen. And it's bullying. You've previously said who you worked for and not said these bits. And now you're saying it's not. It doesn't matter though.

It doesn't work for them anymore. It's not going to take Columbo to put it together. Company don't exist. Company don't exist anymore. And let me tell you this, if the bullies listen to this, then do you know what? I'm okay with that is this the

segment of the show that i suggested to you via our side whatsapp chat yeah the one that the section the show called best served cold yeah revenge a revenge segment which is chris's revenges go on then but i wanted to do a full revenge podcast but then decide it's just a fruit that's too delicious and it'd want me from the inside out decide it's just a fruit that's too delicious and it'd rot me from the inside out. So it's just a segment now. We need a sting though. What are we going to...

I don't know what you say. Oh, you think that's fine. It's actually not fine because I'm getting revenge on you. How does that sound? Yeah. I'm going to pop that down in my notebook. Yeah, I'm going to pop that one. my notebook yeah I'm going to pop that one what does that mean

we're just loading it down for future or you're on the list that's a bit much yeah you're on the list I don't know you're alright no I know what you go

lovely cold revenge yeah let's do mmm lovely cold revenge yeah let's do that mmm lovely cold revenge a hot slice of cold revenge there we go this is this is I bet this is what SNL

feels like when they're coming up with those jokes in the room do you know what I mean yeah it is quite disappointing, isn't it? Mmm, lovely cold revenge. Now a hot slice of cold revenge. Mmm, a lovely slice of hot cold revenge. Oh, no. It can't be done. I would like to abandon this segment and move on.

You're definitely the Tracy Jordan of this. We shouldn't be indulging. We need to keep an eye on this. It's boiling this. We should have been indulging. We need to keep an eye on this. It's boiling over. We do. As in, I can't be having feuds with people. This is the thing. This is the thing.

This is how we break. Man regretting revenge. This is how we break the hour-long barrier on the episodes. Do you know what I mean? We've got loads to do this episode. Yeah, we have got to break the hour-long barrier on the episodes. Do you know what I mean? We've got loads to do this episode. Yeah, we have got to get on these letters. We've got to do letters. We've got a backlog of letters.

Lots of fun people. Letters? You're not on SNL now, Chris. We've got a backlog of letters. We've got a backlog of letters. I can speak. I can speak properly. You can understand me.

You do sound clearer, but you sound a bit bunged up. I'm always a bit bunged up. I'm a nasal guy. But Nicola has made me, because I was saying, I sound like a pig that's been tugged off in a lot of his episodes when I get too excited. So Nicola's, she's put a light on me. She's elevated.

This is all until we get the attic office. Two months out, I think, and that will be in a state where I can podcast from there. And I'm going to podcast on an elevated table. I just think you're going to be in a pitch black echoey roof. Think you're going to get one of their movable tables. It's going to get stuck up, but you're going to still sit in a chair. So it'll just be the main noise will be your chin hitting the table.

Yeah, but the act of that will open up my throat straight in my back. And I will talk like... It'll just look like a magic trick. I've got a very high-end office chair. I bought a second hand years ago. That is nice, but what we are not doing is organising the transfer of an office chair from central London to Hadrian's Wall.

Chris, it's a gaming chair. Come on, we all know it. It's not a gaming, it's not a computer chair. It's not a computer chair. One of them rocky ones on the ground that's got speakers in it the only reason he's got rid of it now he's got a new one

with RGB lighting running through it I'll quickly tell you the seating situation but this is actually very funny so my flatmate Helen is moving in

to a new place soon to her yeah her new flatmate there another comedian called Nathan Roberts we asked him like, has he got much stuff to move in? And he went, yeah,

I got like one black bin bag and a computer chair and that's it. And that is the state of men these days. Nice work. We need to do the letters. We're supposed to do the letters. Countryside, I've got to do like a burst of countryside business. You've got a dog in your house.

Mate, I've got a dog in your house. I've got a dog in my house. Two, my attic renovation continues. I've just had a plumber here taking a radiator off and I'm stripping some wallpaper. More on that when it comes. Somebody who listens to this podcast sent me a WhatsApp message to tell me that I can't mulch for my leaks in February. It's way too late.

And I didn't open the message because i was having a panic attack that leak comes over before it's even began get some dark web mulch i've been around the countryside oh i've been around the country all week traveling doing my tour and i just want to acknowledge everybody who came and i also met lots of people that listened to this podcast and i gave them a little vinyl sticker and if you see a if you see any of us out and about you are legally entitled to ask us for a vinyl sticker and we will produce it why do you sound like you're about to cry I don't know I just honestly it's been a long week I did so much much driving. I loved the gigs, but I didn't like driving

and I didn't like being away from home so much. My friend John was with me for two days. So I only really did two days on my own and my brain nearly broke. Do you know what I mean? I had to go to a hotel. I had to go to a hotel on the outskirts of Bristol and I just felt very sad.

Did you kick off because you couldn't choose the room smell? No room smell at all. The only room smell was someone who'd clearly got special dispensation to smoking in the hotel room are you built for solitary no you're always out he's got two solo chairs i don't think no but he's never in he's never in the thing about sunner is he's out i'm in a lot at the moment but yeah yeah, occasionally there'll be, yeah. You are one of these people. Are you available? Yeah.

Immediately. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Always busy. Yeah. Always picks up the phone. Apart from when he's busy. But more often than not, he's out.

He likes being out. I don't know with me, I'm out tonight. I'm digging again. And you're just like, I said to my wife, I said, I've had enough. I don't want to go out tonight. And she said, boo-hoo. It's a job. We've got bills to pay.

I said, okay. The secret is, the secret is never dress like you're going to stay indoors all day. Hard denim. We're back to where we started. Hard denim. Hard denim. Yeah. Did you know I wore my hardest denim to where we started. Hard denim. Hard denim. Yeah. Did you know I wore my hardest denim

to the live, by the way, Sunil? I didn't even get one comment. I would expect no less. It doesn't require any compliments on my side. It's basically to be expected, isn't it? Chris, before we do the letters,

can you quickly tell us about London driving and what you're scared of? I had to go into London. It sounds like he's going to cry again. No, me and John organised. I've got, there's a lot of adrenaline leaving my body. I can feel it.

Leaving? Yeah, as in, I've had a mad week. I've been up, I've done my day, my tours. I've gone down to London. I did an audition and then I drove. Basically we organised this tour. So it went Leeds, Manchester, down to Bristol, but then back up to Leicester on the way home.

And then at the last minute I had to go to London. So it was down, up, down. And then I'd spent Monday just driving a massive stretch in a country. But I got to go, I got to, the fortuitous timing of it, I got to meet my aunt. I had a break in Birmingham to see my aunt, and it was actually her 80th birthday that day, which was lovely. So it was a nice, but it was, but I'd done too much.

So now I've had all that adrenaline. I've got, I've got to, yesterday I thought I'd have a bit of a crash, but I come home, I had too much bud in my body. You know, I was, I had a mania. I had a mania of admin had too much blood in my body you know i i was i had a mania i had a mania of admin because i was trapped in my car like having a jaguar trapped in a car do you know what i mean like a pack like what's happening here too much blood in your body like a jaguar in a car they're taking a wild animal and they put it in a car too long. You're painting a picture only a child could draw. And it come out and my eyes are too big.

Like a jaguar's. And I did too much admin. The jaguars are notorious for it as well, aren't they? Imagine that as a brief for AI. James, that is the sting. That's the countryside as well. I think we're meant to do the countryside stuff, but I was like,

I really desperately tried to like weave it in, but I've not physically been in it. I feel glad to be back in it. It's renewed me. renewed me it's you know the power of being back in the countryside i feel it in my body but i've physically just been in big cities all week so i think if we just say sometimes this is the countryside bit i think it confuses people that we are saying is your countryside mind going into the city that's what i'm Yeah. And it's now confused and scared. Exactly. Now it's home in the green.

Yeah. I'm getting men around my house again. It feels order has been restored. Friends, Paul, the plumber from Lancashire. Nobody's perfect. And he's,

he's, I really like him. He's a good lad. He, he does. He's doing very basic stuff for me because my dad

showed me how to take a radiator off but then I tried it on my own and I buggered up a pipe why are you taking a radiator off

on your own yeah you should be getting friends you need another pair of hands my friends I mean plumbers because my dad

showed me the thing is we did it in his house he showed me how to do it but my dad's radiators are like new and well maintained where these are ancient it but my dad's radiators are like new and well

maintained where these are ancient he's got quick release radiators yeah so i took it so paul helped me win it just because i tried it in my son's bedroom and i like i just didn't go well there was a little leak so now i'm going to master taking off the radiators myself but paul just did it two seconds because my mum and dad are away for a month and i'm trying to get stuff done because i need a podcasting studio it's become urgent i won't be do you know what in my head i won't be happy until i have a personal podcasting studio yeah okay does that sound mad i think it sounds mad it doesn't sound mad but it feels like something that's not going to leave your mind until it happens it I don't think you're being unreasonable. I don't feel that a radiator is the most important part of a podcast

and studio. It's quite a well-insulated room if you do it right. I need to, I'm sorting out the walls. There's a lot of work that needs to be done. A plasterer's coming on Saturday. We're full steam ahead on the studio it might take a while but this it's basically the marker that is rural concerns 2.0 we need to read some words

so we're saying we're gonna we're gonna read some letters it's been a bit of a hectic period of us rushing around so we've got a few letters of people that contacted us. In terms of when people contacted us, they need to, like, we obviously asked for people to give us their internet speed tests. We also asked them, how do the bins work? You know, like, when is bin day? What colour are the bins? We'd also like to ask them if they've got a video of them

throwing something in the tip as hard as they can is there something else james yeah frozen pizza brand and how high is the house above sea level so basically what we're looking at is just a keen 700 words before you can ask a question well have we got an update from your friend of mine no i've never met him i've had a message from if if you haven't listened all the way back oh dear basically we've been contacted a couple of times by he's i'd basically say he's become my close friend now he's called dr ganja is his codename. And basically he's a gentleman who lives a similar life to me as he moved to the middle of nowhere and basically first contacted us because he wanted me. And we have no idea where each other lives,

but he wanted me, who also lives in a rural community, to give him a hookup for marijuana. After that, a great friendship has been born. Go on. Now, the Dr. Ganja update. Here we go. Dear Chris, I'm the gentleman of rural concerns. Why is he addressing you personally at the beginning?

I guess you have an existing relationship. Because the email address is my... I thought it was more that you are the ganja guy and I'm the three of us no I'm not the ganja guy I'm a guy who has professional commitments and a mortgage

I am not the ganja guy dear Chris and the gentleman of rural concerns quick Dr Ganja update in the months since we last spoke

I located a very reliable source of the herb times were convivial until I found out I was about to become a father. What? Congratulations, Dr. G. If he's Dr. Ganja, then is the child also,

what's the son or daughter of a doctor called? Master Ganja? Master Ganja. You've confused doctors with sorcerers. He's just a kid until he goes to Ganja? Master Ganja. You've confused doctors with sorcerers. He's just a kid until he goes to medical, until he goes to Ganja Medical College. Pre-med, pre-med Ganja. Little pre-med Ganja.

All of a sudden, I became keenly aware I was a middle-aged man, consuming at least one pack of Mr Kipling's French fancies per day, and a capacity to endure six hour YouTube sittings without a care in the world. My wife deserved better. I do wonder what Dr Ganja does for work,

if anything. Maybe he's retired. I can smell the whiff of a man. Like I can smell my own. A man with a high status wife having a good time. Long story short, I'm off the bud life is electric

my child is due any day and the bong has been retired to the shed I've since re-listened to the entire podcast from start to finish it's bloody mental

wonderful stuff congratulations on your award let's be having a UK tour internet speed unsure but it takes about 30 seconds to buffer an entire episode of homes under the hammer all the very best dr g ah it's good that he's not completely left those days behind him r.i.p r.i.p dr ganja another one of the legends long r.i.p dr ganja

long live dr ganja i suspect that but do you know like do you know like in an old western when the old gunslingers hung up their revolver, but then some hassling, basically what I'm saying is I think it's only a matter of time until that bong's coming out of the shed. Do make sure you clean it out though, because you know.

That one bag in the office and he's on the tube again. Having a new baby. I suspect the law could be getting prized off that show. Lovely. Good to hear from Dr. Ganja. I wonder what the future brings for Dr. Ganja. I hope he listens to the podcast while raising a child.

What I'm worried about reading now is like Dr. Ganja's sobered up and suddenly the podcast doesn't make any sense. Do you know what? It's like he's got clean and then he's like, this is meant. So I hope, I hope, I hope he can still vibe with it. I hope his brain can still channel into the drug mind, which is necessary to absorb this podcast. Next letter. A up the boys first things first

51.1 mbps down 14.1 up i'm using one of those 5g wi-fi routers so it's wildly unpredictable in a city center flat now that's quite interesting is he using so it's like a mobile network is it like three or something god how did he describe it the guy that fitted our little satellite sim card internet when we lived in the farmhouse basically said it's like i want to say temperamental or uh but he basically meant it's like a finite resource the internet that is in the sky so basically when there's lots of people on it it disappears because there's only so much internet flying around. Don't, James, don't want to be asking another single question about what I just said. I believe everyone said that.

It sounds, basically if you think of the internet as water. It's kind of like an invisible soup that we walk through. It's an invisible soup. And if everyone eats it. It's why every now and again you're just randomly, like you're walking through the internet sometimes

you'll pass through a whiff of internet where it's particularly dense and that's why in your head you'll like randomly just think about like old episodes of friends and stuff that's it's when the internet world the internet world and the corporeal world uh and on hallow and halloween the veil between the two worlds is its closest and you can look into it and watch every single episode of sidebar sorry i'll continue the lesson now i want to say how much of a huge fan i am of icklewick fm and I'm buzzing at a second series. I've also just started An Idiot's Guide to Bagging an Heiress, and I'm equally hooked.

I did enjoy that, I must admit. I also enjoyed Icklewick FM, but I've said that before. Has Radio 4 always been this funny? Ooh. I always had the notion that it was just comedians I thought were dead or cancelled making jokes about twerking up north is when you have a job, or some deadpan politics shows from posh-sounding people that you can tell are dead fit. No offence, producer James.

I'm normally a six-music-all-day man, but these recent revelations have got me tempted to dip my toe in foreign waters. Have I been a victim of my own prejudices or are more comedians getting opportunities to make great radio shows am i just getting older and the comedians i think are hip and young are they the comedians that the kids think are dead or cancelled alex from leeds very interesting question is that the you know the chalice of being responsible for bringing someone into radio for that's someone i'm very very excited by there's a lot i tell you what i think a few years ago with radio comedy stuff i didn't feel particularly connected maybe it is an age thing or maybe it's like peers and stuff but i mean

it's the only channel that puts out this sort of content into it. I was just thinking me and what I really like about it as well is it is stuff that I've suddenly realized is by and large, okay for me to listen to with my eight year old son, which we listened to Ian Smith's radio show. Ian smith is stressed i think it's called and i put it on and my boy was just absolutely peeling listening to it the little dog licked my hand it scared me but that's a really nice that was a really nice experience and then i suddenly realized it opens up this massive vault of stuff that we can listen to as a family there is a lot of yeah there is a lot just a huge amount of stuff that's been made for for radio for um i i think it has maybe it's changing a lot i mean we only started making shows in the last sort of like three or four years didn't we for radio but

before that i i don't really know i think a lot a lot of it is that there is a lot more a lot more competition for audio comedy from places like Audible or podcasts, obviously. And I think that wasn't around 15 years ago. So what you got was what you got on Radio 4. Different types of stuff are getting made now. But it's always been a place for wild, silly, ambitious stuff. But fundamentally, I don't want Alex from Leeds to think

for one second that this isn't because they are getting old. They have aged into Radio 4. Welcome to the club. Aged into Radio 4? Unfortunately, that means you are aging out of Six Music. No, no, no, you're not. No, but they've mixed it all up.

It's like, do you know what I mean? No, Chrisris no one who listens to six music likes any of the djs that's the thing you do if you listen that's how you bond yeah the only person everyone could agree on is huey was great on a saturday i really like sean caveney great keith's and he's not on it anymore. Charles took over from Keevney. Keevney's popping in on Radio 2 and has like a podcast and stuff. But you would every now and again. I think when they've got their main,

what Six Music has as their, you know, like the main big hits. Now I'm a bit like, no, like that doesn't feel, that's not. But Six Music is the place where you will find, like, a 12-minute, like, mad sort of drum music solo from a bit of the world that you don't really know about. And I find that, that is brilliant. No, that's, what's her name on a Sunday?

Keris Matthews. Keris Matthews! That's Charles Peterson. Someone needs to tell Marianne Obbs that no one wants to listen to techno at midday on a Tuesday. I'm going to stay silent on that because... You're still coming down.

I've got too much blood in my body. So now it's... Oh, and then we've got another letter. Have we got time for one more and then the intro outro? I think we've got time for one more because I like this letter. I'm very interested. so now would you like to take us away hey there chris snell and producer james a preface a preface a preface i happened upon your podcast via trusty

hogs and the numerous references to this elusive and bearded man who consistently is made to hug and share his sweets with his lovely if not persistent and albeit uber boisterous flatmate. Okay. Yeah. A lot to unpack here. Am I elusive? I don't know. Yeah, probably am. I needed to know more. Upon a deep dive into the interwebs, I landed quite unexpectedly here. And truth be told, I'm smitten. I am not your target demographic, I presume, as I'm a long-haired lesbian chef living in a small coastal town in Central California. I don't think that means you're not our target demographic. No, and I'm going to sit my head above the parapet,

and I'm going to say, I do believe that lesbians can be middle-aged too. Welcome to the club. Sorry about it. Applause, dig in. Sorry about, I'm sure you've suddenly become aware of, like, you've got a funny knee, or you may be going a bit deaf in one ear.

You are exactly where you are supposed to be. Have you recently bought one of those hot water, sort of hot heat patches for a joint? That kind of stuff. However, anyway, I can't come up with a letter. However, I am so deeply invested now in upload and download speeds 36.2 slash 33.2 very unusual that you get an even one though like that because normally 30 33 up is good 33 down is stuttering do you know what i mean well it's not i've got that

anyway that's fiber though. Fibre usually is split evenly. So deeply invested. Now, I've blown down recipes, blah, blah, blah. Not blah, blah, blah, but you know what I mean. Where I'm stuck in the middle of a sentence. How do I start again if I'm stuck in the middle of a sentence? You need to go back. This is a sentence with a lot of commas. You need to

go back. However, I am so deeply invested now in upload and download speeds, 36.2 slash 33.2 milk creams drunk driving gin drinkers too much spit in chris's mouth too much spit in chris's mouth that it is like an asmr dream whether james will be wearing a shirt what character snill will begrudgingly be made to become as part of a goblin reenactment? Whether Sunil will ever slip on a pair of sweatpants? The state of the dog Bordello?

What the hell an air beam is that I feel intense depression when I finish my binge of your pod? Why is an air beam? You know, like when you're putting up a tent, and in the old fashion world, you'd have sticks, wouldn't you? Temp poles. A tent pole. It'd be quite the tent pole.

James, you know those sticks that you click together? What, do they have a name? But you have an air beam. You pump them up and it's all done with air. In a nutshell, I've been ploughing through these episodes, both on my commute to work and as I fall asleep at night and genuinely look forward to hearing the hilarity and evidence care that you all have for each other. Your laughs and wits are such a welcome burst of serotonin

in this insane bullshit country of ours. While we may not make it out without a revolution over here, I will face the Trump apocalyptic world with you all in my ears and a grin on my face. Raising a rattler from afar, Nicole. That's lovely. Thank you. What a lovely letter. Yeah, thank you very much lovely to hear that we are gracing the ears

of people who live upon foreign shores near Hollywood so if you know anybody if you want to lightly pitch the drive into the main town

lightly pitch this as an action film with Jeremy Piven playing all three roles no special effects just running around the back of the camera. Well, thank you very much for contacting us, Nicole.

And thank you for everybody who's been featured in this episode. Like I say, we are running a dash of a backlog because we do plan these episodes quite tightly. But then just, there's always a lot of, there's always a lot of bullet points. And then we get roped into scrapes and shenanigans. But if you like are listening to this and you want to sort of say hello to us or ask us a question about the countryside,

maybe you live somewhere like California and you don't know what an Airbnb is. Maybe you haven't got a sheep where you live. Then just message us and we'll tell you what it's like. I've got a little dog next to me. Where's it? It's gone. Oh, Chris,

wait a minute. He's lost the dog. Little dog's gone. Just go, Nicole, if she's worried about finishing the podcast, she can join a discord, get a load of free episodes upsell.

Come on. Patreon. Patreon. Not discord. You, join discord get a load of free episodes upsell come on patreon patreon not discord you discord is discord is a is a feature of joining the patreon

yes if you join us on the patreon we've got some extra bonus it's like off-cut content and we've started putting out exclusive episodes

we put a live show choose your own no destiny decide one's own destiny decide one's own destiny I thinkide one's own things. Destiny. Decide one's own destiny.

I think originally it was a countryside simulator. Yeah. Also, I've been going very deep on reading and listening to documentaries about the history of interactive fiction

and I am jazzed. Thank you for listening to Rural Concerns and if you're hungry for more laughs why not check out my BBC Radio 4 series An Idiot's Guide to Bagging an Heiress, and you can find that on BBC Sounds. Chris, what can listeners do if they want to go like the extra mile in supporting us? If you want to help us, really help us out,

first thing, the most important thing with a podcast that's independent and proud is word of mouth. And what that means is going into a busy shopping center, banging a pan with a wooden spoon and say, and shouting your internet speed figures. And that's a way that this podcast will permeate through the British cultural mind and beyond. But the other thing you can do is leave us a review.

If you listen to us on Spotify or Apple Podcasts, it has to be a minimum of five stars, because otherwise a curse will befall your family, whereupon they will never be able to find an M&S when they want a little treat. Yeah. Sad.

Sad curse, man. Now, if you have a rural concern, you can email us at christopher at alovelytime.co.uk and we'll read it on an upcoming episode as long as it doesn't say anything, you know, really libelous or bad. Even then, we probably will.

I think we will. Yeah, I'll cut it out. Rural Concerns was edited by Joseph, Technics 1210 Professional DJ Edition, Burrows. Our music is by Sam O'Leary and our artwork is by Poppy Hilstead. For all concerns, it's produced by Egg Mountain for a lovely Time Productions.

Guys, listen. No, don't riff it. Please consider supporting us on Patreon. We have bonus episodes. You can get access to our Discord server, which is called The Creamy, where a lot of like-minded individuals who are passionate about the rural community

make the chat and share tips. Stop riffing it. I'm not riffing it. Also, you've got bonus episodes. No, keep riffing it. See what happens. Yeah, it's like jazz, isn't it? It's like very self-indulgent.

You've got, there's bonus episodes, plus we just did a big put on a Decide Your Own Destiny countryside simulator which is available yes for people to listen to exclusively on the Patreon

now have you looked at those chairs James yes I have I've got I've highlighted my favourite sentence what's the favourite sentence raised on

fine turned legs with brass toe caps. Lovely. Imagine sitting on them fuckers. Labels to the underside. They're quite gaudy. What do you mean they're gaudy? It's green leather, mahogany, not even mahogany.

They've got like, in my head I'm thinking 1950s, 60s, mid-century, but what it is is of the French Revolution, Louis XVI type vibe. When was that French Revolution, Chris? Yeah, 17. Right! Right! Bong!

Like that.