Rural Concerns - First Birthday Shenanigans!

Episode Date: March 25, 2025

Grab a Radler and dive in as Chris, Sunil and Producer James look back over their first year of the pod! You can see the lads live in Manchester on 11th November for their last live show of 2025. Grab your tickets, here! Big thanks to Phil Ellis, Amy Gledhill, Mark Silcox, Nicola Redman, Alisdair Beckett-King, Helen Bauer, Farmer Buggerton, Poppy Hillstead, Sam O’Leary, John Stansfield, Claire Hawkins, Dave Blackett, Andi Keen, Jack Lewis Evans, Lee Jones and Joseph ‘Limewire’ Burrows.  Got a Rural Concern? Drop us an email at [e-mail]. The best way to support this educational podcast is through Patreon. For less than a fiver you can get bonus episodes and access to our Discord community, The Creamery. Our artwork is by Poppy Hillstead and the music is by Sam O’Leary. Rural Concerns is edited by Joseph Burrows and produced by Egg Mountain for A Lovely Time Productions.

Hello and welcome to this very special first birthday edition of Rural Concerns. Over 52 episodes, this show has blossomed from being a genuine mental health intervention into the world's leading podcast about weird countryside business, metropolitan sprawl and mushroom-fuelled necromancy. That's right. Can you believe we've been churning this wank out for a full fat year? Now join us as we take a moment to celebrate our marginal gains with a well-earned tinny. Lads, Rattlers at the ready. Deploy. Hey!

Cheers. Cheers. We deserve this. Oh, that is good stuff, that one. This is German. I couldn't find a proper Rattler, so I've got a Schürfer. Schürfer, Herfer. Hefeisen beer. Yeah, you've gone in pretty hard.

Grapefruit. Yeah. But I thought I wouldn't like it, so I thought I'd bring my own recipe. What's the ABV of that one then? Mine's 2.5%. Same here, 2.5. Is it?

Chris, if it's anything over 2.5, he's going to be racist. You told me you were going to have a Guinness Zero earlier. What have you got? You got a can of Sprite? It's 4.1. It's a session IPA because Carlisle City Centre let us down on the Valdus front.

Just get a lemonade. What I've done for my backup, which I might move on to because I'm not sure about that. You know I had to put in an Ocado order for this. I've got a lager. I've got some 7-Up. Yeah, that's it. And then I've got some Limoncello

because I was going to do a turbo radler, which was an invention I came up with on holiday. Do a shot of each. Do you know what I did? I'm calling it a depth charge. This was my Saturday night decadence. Do you know because you try and eat well in the week and then you get to saturday you like used to go out didn't you hit the tiles drink too many pints now you're just not really doing well you're having a lovely family

day at the beach that kind of thing but then what we did what i did was as my treat called it the depth charge it's a rice pudding with a mass bar dropped in it no no no no how i just cooked a rice pudding hot well the the rice pudding's hot and then the mass bars got in in cold like normal size like a russian's like a russian sub and that goes lengthways in or flat flat dropped in like a sub going down. Do you know what I mean? Sort of mash it in. Towards a thermal vent. This sounds interesting. But it didn't work as well as I thought it was because the

if it was chocolate it'd have been a magical but because it's nougat it didn't quite work well anyway. Do you know what nougat's made of by the way? It's dates. Oh this again. It's eggs. What do you mean? It's dates. Oh, this again. It's eggs. What do you mean?

It's egg white. It's egg white and sugar. Oh, so it's a cousin of the meringue. It's a half-done meringue. Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. Yeah. Have you tried crumbled up cookies into one of those tubs of heated up custard?

There we go, something to think about. Have you tried cutting top off of a muffin, scooping the inside out, filling it with an ice cream microwave in it for 30 seconds? No. Something to think about. Yeah, that is something to think about. It is something to think about,

but not necessarily what you think it is. Do you know what I mean? Just, are you on statins? I'm worried about... I haven't done that stuff for years. So where do we start with this fantastic... We've been doing... We've done how many episodes?

52. This is our 52nd episode. With a couple of... Do you know what I mean? With extra bits of... And it's actually 53 if you count that one where we recorded for an hour but felt too sad so we deleted it.

Not even good enough for the patreon we just decided didn't we that's not going out it wasn't even like we didn't say anything bad it was just like it wasn't firing that's quite what it was it was discussing hair growth formulas let's not bring this one down there'll be more burps in this one than the others I was telling you yeah because this is a party this is a party like we we've just kept going so it is

our one year anniversary although I think we released our first episode in a little bit but it's basically a year it's 52 episodes

that's a year we've got some messages can I play one or play a couple happy birthday rural concerns it's Nick Chris's wife.

I'm really happy he's not depressed, like well done, lads. Thanks, Sunil and James, for your support. But I do wish you'd stop doxing us. We're not having money problems, OK? Please don't panic. But I wouldn't say no to some more Patreon subscribers, am I right? Hey there, creamers. This is Alistair Beckett King wishing a big happy birthday

to Rural Concerns. If, like me, you think that the best part of this podcast is the deep bass baritone of producer James, then I recommend you listen to his other podcast, Lawmen. It's very, very good. You don't have to. You can keep listening to the cool renegades of Rural Concerns with their vapes and their slandering of real specific named individuals, or you can come on over to the podcast for people who take their GCSEs seriously. Anyway, happy birthday, rural concerns. Speed test here. That's 147.9 down and 28.9 up. So is that good? I don't know. Your internet connection is very fast.

All right. Happy birthday, Rural Concerns. It's Andy, the trade bait man. Oh, Chris, you still owe me for the brownies. Happy birthday, Rural Concerns. I'm Sam O'Leary and Chris is right. I didn't want to do the music at all. I didn't want credit for it.

It's all made out of garage band loops. I'm not proud of it. I'll tell you what I'm proud of and what't want credit for it. It's all made out of garage band loops. I'm not proud of it. I tell you what I'm proud of and what I want credit for. My poetry. That's all I wanted to say. There we go. A few little messages there. A few little messages. First off, if you want to go over

to listen to Lorm and the podcast, please, when you do now, just save us a bit of admin and click unfollow on this because we don't want you. Ooh. Wow. No, I don't mean that.

I don't mean that. I don't mean that. It's too spicy. It is a classic ABK move, though, to come on and cross-promote. That's good work. Sunil, you could take notes. All right, come on now i've

promoted this podcast on every other podcast i've done for the last three or four weeks that's because actually that's because he knows that there's a chorus of snitches they were literally putting the snitches in the creamery on the on the discord were literally putting screen grabs of the transcription of you. Just of me promoting. Just of you promoting Rural Concerns to people who have already paid to support Rural Concerns. Fucking hell, like having the CIA after you, isn't it?

Yeah, but it's like whether, if someone does something through willing or through fear, does it matter if the result's the same? You know, like when companies get heavily on board pride and they're like they're doing it for commercial gain yeah is that good is it the same it doesn't feel like and result is just overall good i guess isn't it right i guess it's exactly the same yeah so did we have there we had my lovely wife on the peg we are fine for money she's asked me to say we are do you know what i mean i'm still like you know what i could do a few hours in a post office

no no you're not doing that did you not watch mr banks in the post office you would absolutely not be able to handle that chris i can't do basically with my ticket that is do you know what i mean if some guy from fujitsu is telling me i'm a liar i'm too i fold too easily do you know what I mean if some guy from Fujitsu is telling me I'm a liar I'm too I fold too easily do you know what I mean like if they if they were like

saying you stole and I'd be like yeah maybe I did I guess I didn't mean to you'd actually look forward to a spell in prison improving yourself

and that getting jacked as usual get super jacked helping them out do you know what I mean I want helping them out with their like spelling and that.

I'm thick prison lad. Like Martin Shkreli. Like Martin Shkreli. You know what I mean? I'm sitting there. I've got the Wu-Tang album. Nobody's taking it off me. No,

I think, I think you'd take a, take over a bus in protest. Oh, like in speed? Yeah. Yeah. Basically speed,

but Chris is Dennis Hopper. Just go, pop quiz, hot shot. Letting everyone on without tapping in. I think in prison, we'd still be mates, but I think we'd all be in different sort of... I don't. We'd move in different circles one way.

No, don't. You're about to be one of us being a paedophile aren't you that's where I want to get to me and you in different prison gangs James is a cop James he'd come out with a baton batter us to death James if you were a screw would you be a bent screw?

I heard a thing. I don't know if this is true, but in the high security prisons that have proper bad people. Yeah, like the Joker. Yeah, like the Arachum's Asylum. Yeah. They have to change the staff every so many months or years or something like that,

because the staff in essence become corrupted. And this is absolute conjecture and I have nothing to back it up. Who told you that? I might've read it on a Batman forum, if I'm honest, I can't remember. I believe that then I believe that. It's just one of those jobs,

isn't it? Where it's, I don't know what they earn, but you think Christ, not, it's not don't know what they earn but you think christ not it's not enough that and being a secondary school teacher you're like no way what who's doing this yeah who would willingly do that i couldn't i could never do you know what i mean if i had some like 14 year old lad throwing a chair at me i couldn't i'm not programmed to deal with that i always remember a story someone told me about the bad boy had pissed in the teacher's kettle.

Wow. Every lesson, the teacher would go off and make a cup of tea at the start of the lesson. But this lesson, the bad boy had pissed in his kettle. And the kettle was in the classroom? No, it was in the little, you know, their teachers have their little office at secondary schools. Well, the boy went into the staff room and pissed in the kettle. I don't know. You can't dust for piss, but he knew.

It was clearly his piss. Yeah. So fun, fun story. Fun little story. the star from him pissing the girl I don't know you can't dust for piss but he knew it was clearly his piss yeah so fun fun story fun little story I was hoping I was hoping it'd be like Ben Fogle or something

you know like like turn his life around whenever I see on the teleguide the TV show Ben Fogle new lives in the wild I always misread it

as Ben Fogle now lives in the wild and I think yeah apparently Ben Fogle someone just someone just left a house to him because they liked him so much. Apparently someone gave him acid in a pub once. Oh, yeah.

Boy, yeah, they spiked him. I'm sure he's lovely. But can I just say this? He's one of those clowns that says, you know, when it's results day and a chorus of very privileged people come out and say you don't need exams. Do you remember how Ben Fogel came into our lives cast away yeah yeah weird yeah early early proto proto reality tv it lasted for a year yeah they're on an island for a year it's not that long after

it's like a dam broke into and it's and reality tv was invented i I know it's knocked around, but Big Brother come out. Do you remember Nasty Nick? A dirty, dirty trick. Yeah, sat down with him. How could you have done this? How could you have done this to us? Do you know what I mean? He just wrote some notes. It's laughable now.

Yeah, not long after that. Where's Nasty Nick nowadays? I'm going to look him up. Where is Nasty Nick? Where is Nasty Nick? Well, we have to look him up. Right now. Where is Nasty Nick? Where is Nasty Nick? Well, we have to know. Nick Bateman is currently in Sydney, Australia. A den of snakes.

He's trying to finish a book of fiction. So what have we learned over the year, apart from where Nasty Nick is? That if we ever say anything slanderous, you'll sort us out, James. You'll sort it out in the edit. I've learned that I'm as young as I'm ever going to be. I've got some great friends.

And talking to you two really does put that in perspective. You know what I mean? I'm good. I'm just set up a perfect environment for madness, aren't we? Have you ever felt, have you ever had really bad mental health issues? Have you ever, I just say this, because I think several times in my life, do you ever feel like there's a veil and you think I'm so close

and if I go past this marker, I'll never go back. I'll be mad forever. Does that make sense? I've read that written down sometimes, yeah, but I've never felt it. I think there's like two or three times in my life, vividly, I thought, oh, if I just keep going here, I'll never come it. I think there's like two or three times in my life, vividly, I thought, oh, if I just keep going here, I'll never come back. Yeah.

And what is here? Is this a space in your mind? I don't know. It's like a way of thinking. It's like a sort of, like, I don't know. It's like a perspective shift or something like that. And you're just like, if I push forward, if I continue down this line of thought, I will be mad.

So I'll just, so I really just this line of thought, I will be mad. So I'll just, so I really just go, I'll just not do that then. But is it you that's mad, Chris, or is the world mad? That's what I'm saying. I tell you, the maddest I felt like, oh, I'm a crazy man, was when I worked in an office and I couldn't get my head around. I think we talked about this a little bit. I couldn't get my head around the dissonance between what people said they wanted and what they actually did.

Do you know what I mean? Like we want to, we want to be really good at this, but really what they're doing is counterintuitive to that. And the fact that everyone talked in a certain way, but was actually running secret agendas made me feel the craziest I've ever felt. But if I hadn't felt like that, I think I worked in a job that was so traumatic,

really, that it did sort of change my brain patterns. But if I hadn't have been doing that, I think innately, I have quite a cowardly core. So basically, if it had been just one degree nicer, I'd have been there. Do you know what I mean? And then I thought my brain went on fire for a bit and then they made me redundant and then I've never gone back and I tried something new.

It's mad to think that you're only in this business because Café Rouge went under, isn't it? You know what I'm thinking? If Café Rouge was still a going concern, you'd be down there. Sort of the menu out, cancelling tips. Cancelling tips. I'd be like, I'd be rubbing my hands, looking at a chalkboard,

thinking like. Less egg in the souffle. Less egg in the souffle. Prefix. Dinner for, I'd be like, the wording of like, theatre prefix menu. Two meals, 23.95. Do you know what I mean?

Like, I'd be like, that'd be my morning thinking of that i don't know who's the winner in this i never actually worked today i didn't do corporate i always worked in the public sector and that was clearly where people had checked out so it kind of felt like quite a safe environment yeah it was like clearly people were like i don't it kind of felt like quite a safe environment. Yeah. It was like, clearly people were like, I don't want to do this work and no one can sack them.

Like an actual, an actual, you know, when you say that those puffins on the island that you saw, and you just like, how did they all get on the island? It feels like that sort of vibe, isn't it?

You found you, you found your crowd and it was really, you see there's a load of, there's a load of puffins on an island, but you cannot chuck quids at them. of vibe into it. You found your crowd and it was really... There's a load of puffins on an island but you cannot chuck quids at them. It's such a shame. But you,

among your people, you found your people and they're 52-year-old, 52-year-old boomers who can't be asked. It's genuinely the most frustrating places, yeah.

But anyway, yeah, I was only, I knew I wasn't going to try and have a career there, so I was kind of fine with it. Because now we do podcasting to great financial gain. Dynamic podcasting.

Ambitious podcasting. To quarterly yields. This is... The sky is the limit. The sky is the limit with a podcast. And James has got two podcasts, so he must be equally... Seventh heaven. Yeah.

What do you think you've learned, James, about yourself? I'm a lot less patient than I thought I was. Ah, I see. But I think I scoffed when you said we would hit our stride around episode 50, but I really do think we have just about hit our stride. Is this a peak? Yeah. It scares me how much we're not yet finding the peak do you know what i mean i've got a feeling we're just at the bottom of the mountain the smoke's just about like the smoke the steam at the bottom of the mountain the mist is just about cleaving and we can just about see a bit we can we can see that there is a peak

and we can see all the dead and dead around us you know like shackleton style dead podcasters oh because they don't because it's actually more dangerous to to remove a pod an rss feed isn't it than to set a new one up yeah every time you don you do that and they have to send out, you know, like Mountain Rescue, it costs money. So, but do you know what I mean? So many podcasts, you know, like the birth of a new species, you know, and they don't make it past seven episodes.

So many fail. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, not even fail. They realise it's not worth doing. There's a lot of ADHD around. They make a sensible decision to shoot it at the back of the head. I've rarely seen people make a decision to stop.

It just drifts off, doesn't it? Absolutely. I've been there, you know. I've read a number of podcasts. You get carried away, don't you, by exciting new things? You get carried away by exciting new things like this. Tip of the iceberg, peak of the mountain. Pick one.

I was desperately trying to think. I thought I'd run out of things to report about from the city, but then I'm finding I'm having to dig deeper with things. But yeah, I've got a few things to talk about this week. Like doing the podcast. Shall I get a bit emotional now or shall I just save it, Jim? Don't get emotional now. It's always fun.

No, it's not fun it's just doing the podcast has made me like I said I've got a cowardly custard car do you know what I mean

takes a lot do a lot of mad stuff but it don't come natural to me I don't like willingly jump out of the plane with no parachute takes a lot

takes a big run up for me to do stuff but doing the podcast has a lot, takes a big run up for me to do stuff. But doing the podcast has, a lot of times this year, like we leak up and stuff, I've signed up to it. Then I've sort of lost my bottle with it a bit, but I'm coming back because basically with the podcast,

I'm just about getting to the point where I'm like, no, I'm not going to make an excuse not to reach out to somebody or not to do something. But with a podcast i'm like grit my teeth and i'm like no you've got to go into that room and talk to those pensioners for five minutes because we've got to churn out a new episode it's made me insert myself into a lot of people's lives actually yeah i think the thing i have the thing that I have learned is that if I ignore your requests for a music bed for long enough,

you will just forget about it. I don't think it's that difficult to do a bed though. Yeah. You aversion to doing beds is, I've come to terms with the fact that it's about you, not me at this stage. I just, I can't be asked to work out the legal ramifications.

You can get royalty-free beds. There's a website called royalty-free beds. If they change those rules at some point in the future. Come on, man. AI's here. It's all over. Let's have some messages from there. Happy birthday, rural concerns.

I'm Dave, Chris's neighbour. And he really needs to stop telling people my house was a weed farm. Happy birthday, Rural Concerns. I'm Chris's plumber, and I wouldn't say we're friends. No, not at all. Happy birthday, Rural Concerns. Editor Joe here. Just so you know, I've kept all of the Slyner's outtakes.

They're my nest egg. Should any of you make it on to Greg? You're so fucked, Gregor you're so fucked Chris you're so fucked that was like a personal do you know what I mean

that three bullet aimed directly at my heart that was Dave he's he's house was a weed farm stop saying that

no we've talked about you can't tell us off for saying things that are true there's that one and in his cellar under four boards. B, obviously.

That's it. That's all I'm saying about Dave. We've already cut that out before. Next one is, who else was it? It was me plumber. It was your plumber friend. Plumber. And I just need to have a chat with him.

I'm probably going to have to pay him overtime just to fully get his head around the concept and producer joe good to good to hear back if joe would like anything no you didn't meet him it was all a bit mad wanted there's a few too many people to speak to but i would just like to say we'll send joe a lovely gift basket once a month as long as he keeps all those wav files keeps them nice and safe we should do a super cut of the slander though oh god that would absolutely just be our deaths yeah i think we should discuss our editorial policies at a live show and just and i explain how we reach a decision so i believe you had some city updates so now i forgot I've got loads. Oh, wow.

Go on. I did a TikTok dance yesterday in Soho with some German teenagers. I was a bit early for an appointment in Golden Square in Soho. It's like a really nice, I was just waiting. I had like 15 minutes to kill. And then these German teenagers says, can you... Massage. Yeah, that's it. and then some teenagers were like

can you just stand in the back of this video and i said no no i've got to go and then i thought you know i've got 15 minutes i can't just stand here anyway and then they started singing and they started showing me the lyrics and it was a song i don't know what the song was and and then it started turning into sort of like african african it was like an african song as well nice so there's like there were words in it that i didn't understand and and and then they made me they made me dance yeah i saw there's some kids outside a shop when i did the leicester comedy festival a skate shop or some sort of fashion shop yeah but the kids were just clearly doing a dance and the shopkeeper was like

came out to like like move them on i just thought you miserable old wanker yeah i that's what i i was i thought i won't be miserable about this i'll just i'll do it but yeah they were they they were laughing a lot at me at the back of the shop what do you mean that you're on there well i mean they're like eight like 16 17 year old germans why did they want you in the back i don't know i was just walking down the street and they just suddenly they were they stopped me as the first person it does chime with somewhere i got sent i've got tiktok and i don't use it but every now and again it sends me prompts or push notifications and it said chosen, kids dancing, knobhead in background. So now I'm like, put it to it.

We sing to this homeless man. Making this homeless man's day. Yeah, thanks. I would just like to say thank you for continuing to push yourself out there. You know, like basically. Did you mention the podcast? Yeah. Got a little sign. All right. out there on, you know, like basically. Did you mention the podcast? Yeah. If any of you snitches get ahold of that TikTok video,

destroy it. No, just for a year, you've been out. You haven't had one night in, you've been out in high society. Like basically Sunil's been anywhere, anywhere in London where people are just knocking on a door,

nondescript door and go, and you open the door and there's like a red light coming out the other side it's two o'clock in the afternoon sunil's been there every single day just like press pressing the flesh pushing the podcast pushing the podcast so yeah thank you thank you for that no no problem no problem all right your turn you have to do something from the countryside now. I can do that. I've got loads of stuff. Oh, can I tell you one thing? Like, oh, this is bad. But it's not, like, two things.

One, I've got into Pokemon Go. Oh, yeah, like that. James, should I read my Pokemon Go friend code out so that people who listen to the podcast... I don't know how it works anymore. My last experience with Pokemon Go ended with my phone being snatched out of my hand by a bike-based thief deservedly you absolute clown i had to

report to the police as well and they asked me what i was doing on my phone and i just said mortgage stuff yes grown-up things yeah a mortgage stuff a wild evie appeared um sorry what i was i was at a pokemon go gym right so i just got into this because basically the boy wanted pokemon go he had it on his month so i was like i'm gonna get it so that we can go on these little walks to catch because it's like anything that'll trick this little boy into going outside now you know so we can play we can do half an hour of a walk and get pokemon together and go on adventures anyway he's interested in it way and almost instantly but now i've gone deeper than i thought and i've spent nine pounds 98 i'll make him a backpack bigger no no no no no no you don't need to you don't need to do that you do if you're in a rush

to make your backpack bigger yeah you do sorry what did i say i wanted more pineapples so i did that and the other night basically i i was in man i don't normally i did a show in manchester and normally i drive home from that show after but you get home about i get i know so you'd make some eggs happen I stayed over in my friend's house in Manchester. So I had some drinks and I don't normally drink. And I drank like five pints of strong beer. And I was lightly rat arsed, but not in like a mad way in a way where I'm a 41 year old man who's drank

five beers. I was very sleepy. Do you know what I mean? Like that? Anyway, that, that is a prelude. Cause then I got home the night after I couldn't sleep.

I don't know. I'd slept in the afternoon and I'd come home and had a nap. So I just didn't sleep. Think too much alcohol. Do you know what I mean? It's just one of those things like, why have I drank? This is too much for what it was. So, but I did that.

I was up at four o'clock in the morning. I was just like, I can't be arsed with this. I got my phone out. Because normally I'd try to look at my phone. I'm just trying to, you know, focus on blackness, focus on my breathing.

Well, four o'clock's a good time to get up and grind. No grinding. It was four, it was 4.45. I was a bit fed up. I was like, I'm not going back to sleep now.

So I got my phone out. And basically, this is a bit crass, but I think Nicola thought I was doing something that I shouldn't have been or i could have been in my own marital bed but i think it was that website sorry i think she thought that i was you know like taking myself into my own taking matters in hand i was taking

matters in hand so she sort of turned around with an energy of like what are you doing you know that would be weird i think even as a as a as a yeah i think it would even even as a long married person to for suddenly your partner to be yeah she turned around and i was just like what are you doing and i was charging up my pokemon go attack you know like like rubbing my skin which is gonna be like sleeping to someone who's wanking. Yeah, that's the movement. I was like rubbing the screen to charge up my hyper beam from a Snarl Act. An audible sigh. An audible sigh.

Well, relief though, relief. An audible sigh as dawn broke. So I've done that. That's the countryside, kind ofer i have to walk on countryside things so that's one definite country and we and you know for all these episodes we've stuck to the theme and i think that needs to be lauded the other one thing i'll say is do you know there's this ref base they're my house yeah what's happening with that this is this this is the secret one subtly don't look over your shoulder. There's no one there. What are you doing?

Subtly. It's like, it's very busy around here in terms of activity, in terms of night, like as in practice helicopter runs in the dark, big military vehicles coming in and out in a village. There's just a lot of military stuff afoot. If I wasn't, you know, if I wasn't like, if I was just a casual observer, it might look quite like our country's definitely gearing up for a ruckus. Do you know what I mean?

But you're not a casual observer, are you? You're a seasoned veteran. I'm a seasoned veteran from a place called Bradford. And if you're listening internationally, that means that I can smell violence. It's not something that I use myself, but I'm definitely familiar with its order. And I can feel that the armies, you know,

like they're getting ready. They're practicing. What are we getting ready for? That's up to you. I don't think we should. I thought this was because Trump has refused to spend any more on defence in Europe, right? Or something.

So we're getting a little. So we have to spend more now. So we're getting a little. Don't worry, James. We're too old. We're not going to sign this up. If anything, what we should be doing is buying shares in BAE systems. There you go.

Hot tip from Mr. Patel. Cheers. Edit that out, Joe. Actually, don't edit that out. Investment tips. Market surge. No, but one other thing about this RAF base. So I go for a run near the perimeter.

There's signs everywhere, like, basically. Chris. Say Chris. Say Chris. Come on. Saying, like, don't touch unexploded munitions. Oh, wow. Lasers. Stuff like this don't touch unexploded munitions. Oh, wow. Lasers, stuff like this.

But there's ones- It says don't touch lasers or it says lasers? Warning lasers. There's like, but there's one big sign that says property, past this point, property in Ministry of Defence. And I've been too scared. I want to see what's over this little hill. So this, what I thought I would do is,

because I've been out running, what I would do is just run a little bit further up this road under the start. If they stopped me, I'd be like, oh God. So I was just lost in the zone, in the flow of the run. Do you know what I mean? And my tunes, I'd done 10K. Do you know what I mean?

I was like, I was in the zone. But then I ran a little bit further up the hill and saw like a camera on like a mini pylon type, like some sort of independent camera system that was just jutting out of the forest. And I lost my bottle. You probably should on that one because of lasers and unexploded munitions

and do not trespass MOD property. But get this, there's an 11K race in June, I think, that goes into the base. So I've like, I've got- Oh, so they're allowed to run into it? Yeah, yeah. You buy it. I presume there's some sort of vetting procedure, but you-

Well, worth it to have a look. Exactly. Exactly. And then when everyone else is running off, I'm just like, well, wait a minute, my shoelace. The shoelace is tied. So I'm bending out to tie my shoelace. They've all run on. Yeah.

The cameras are following the crowd. They've seen me and they just think he's just tied his legs. Let's follow the crowd because they look, there's a couple of dodgy ones in there. Whoosh, I've gone. Someone's just left a room, a bunker. They've gone off in a different direction. I've just caught it before the door shuts with my foot. Right.

You know what I mean? Yep, yep, yep. I go down, all the way down. I'm walking down and down and down for miles, all the way down. Wouldn't have been walking for that. I've been walking for a day. What's at the bottom? A UFO.

But what's in that? A guy dressed like an Egyptian pharaoh. Oh, so yeah. Okay, so you're going to get to the bottom of where the pyramids came from. It's a Stargate. It's the film Stargate. It's the film Stargate. Film Stargate.

He's got a staff. Yeah. What's on top of it? Mushroom. Yeah, you weren't expecting that, were you? Well, no, because it's not true. No, but it could be true and we'll know. Oh, I see.

Right. Yeah. You're going to be in Lycra with greased up nipples. Yeah, so they won't hear me coming. And a big number on you. You'll be out of breath, Christian. You'll be out of breath. Down the corridors.

How are you going to get back up the stairs? I get out of breath on a 30- are you gonna get back up the stairs i get out of breath on a 30 minute conversation on a zoom call no i'm just thinking it's something that could happen or no yeah yeah or they bring me in for testing did you ever apply to be an mi6 or something like that no i didn't really how mi6 like? Am I six? Okay, yeah. You did the application because they were like pretty heavily pushing it as a normal job for a bit. Yeah.

I think I was in a post-university office job temping type, what do I do? I'll be a spy. So it starts at 24 grand a year. Is it worth it? But we talked together on WhatsApp messages. I trade in information, don't I? Yeah. Like a Cold War don't I? Yeah.

Like a Cold War spy. Not a catty gossip. But do you know what I mean? You know, I keep a lot of information. Keep it quite close to my chest. So did they not want to give you the job as a spy then? No, I couldn't do the maths portion of the test. I couldn't do basic sums

to the level that was important. What use is maths when it comes to, is it tradecraft, they call it? Yeah, they should just put, can you do sums? No. If so, you just go in a room and there's some lad

with a scar on his face, one white eye smoking a fag. And then a bloke just goes, he's a traitor and leaves you a potato peeler. And they like do what you want and then you're in or not. Do you know what I mean? And I'd be like, could I do the potato peeler? Could I do the mask test?

No. Could I do the potato peeler test? Absolutely. I'd say probably not as well to be honest i don't think you're capable of inflicting violence no i don't think i am i think i've got i've got this thing where i've got my mouth is a bit too quick for my brain sometimes do you know what i mean so yeah well i will say this now just just just to beat james to it yeah yeah now, just to beat James to it. Yeah, yeah, Gabby.

Just to beat James to the edit. Big Gabby doesn't think. I will not murder a mysterious man with a scar on his face with a potato peeler. I won't do that. And do you know what? Fair play to you. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I took the high road, actually. And I was like, I will turn your job down. I've done a, I've done a bit about this on stage, but the good thing about, I believe that I've done stuff now just on my tweets and my social media videos and little stuff that I've been in where I can never go back. That's better than spying.

All right. Okay. I can never go back. I could never be a spy now, James. They just Google me. Well, I wouldn't call it back because you were be a spy now James they just google me well I wouldn't call it back because you were never a spy in the first place I can't go back

I can't go back to that life you can't go back to MI5 no you were never in it you're not going to knock on that door again you were never at the door in the first place I thought you were describing the beginning of Skyfall for a minute there Skyfall nobody do you know what I mean?

Man in his, man in middle age. What's he doing? He's just got a normal job. He's tweeting. He's done some dodgy tweets. He's doing a hundred, he's doing 200 press-ups in a bus stop. Now look at him, he's battering lads with a penchant. Anyway.

Yeah. So that is the countryside. He's undercover. I got too scared to go into an active military base during the time of war. Should we have some more messages from... Yeah, I suspect, I think I know what one of them's going to be, but go on.

Why, what do you mean? Happy birthday, Rural Concerns. Sunil, if you could just post a bit more on social media just to stop chris's vein throbbing in his head while i'm chatting to him it would really help me out happy birthday boys happy birthday rural concerns this is the dog whisperer and i can confirm that i've seen a man fingering a dog at the... B, obviously. That's right, B.

I'm saying it again. Everyone was happy about it. I don't know what your fucking problem is. Everyone was happy about it. I don't, I don't get, I don't... That's the dog. That's a man filming the dog. And that's my friend Lee watching it.

Okay, a couple more, a couple more. Happy birthday, Rural Concerns. This is the head of marketing for Monster Energy Drinks. And I just want to stay on the record that I would not sponsor this podcast under any circumstances ever. So please, for the love of God, please stop emailing me pictures of middle-aged men wanging stuff into skips. Please, give it a rest. Hello, Mark Silcox here. I'd like to wish Rural Concern podcast a very first happy birthday. Sunil and Chris are working very hard. Sunil is in London

and Chris is going around in different villages and towns to listen to their concerns and raise the issues people in these rural areas are facing. So I wish them all the best and wish a fantastic happy birthday and many, many more years ahead. All the best. Happy birthday, Rural Concerns. My name's Poppy Ilstead and I did the artwork. This is genuinely one of the most masculine commissions I've ever received. And it absolutely terrifies me.

She, the painting of you two, right? Yeah. Can I tell you a fun story about Poppy? Can I tell you a fun story about what my kid said when he saw that picture? Yeah, go on then. Why is that boy dressed as a witch? Yeah, it's true. Carry on.

Well, and what did you say? That's Chris, don't worry about him. Is that the right message for a young man in this world? It's the right message about Chris, that's for sure.

Don't worry about him. That's Chris, don't worry about him. Don't worry about him. Just don't say his name three times. He's inches away from the veil

that'll tip him over. Imagine if you slipped that bit out. But he said, if I took one extra step, then I would be mad forever. You said it. I'm saying, you know, James always says to me imagine if they took what

you said and wrote it down he always says that whenever we have an editorial

tete-a-tete in the background he's always like imagine what it would like look like written

down even stupider is that you said that was what you were like when you were working an office job

so what the fuck is it what now no but now I can just like, sort of, I can flip around. I can say, I can write a shot of Starry Bell or Mushroom. Do you know what I mean?

Feel free. Yeah. Just like, I've got a save out for it all. It did not contain well in Microsoft Excel. What else have we got there? had that was pop yeah poppy hillstead so she did you know that poppy poppy hillstead and we talked about this before but you know she's got this big massive five foot picture oh yeah nude she's like she made she painted that for this short film oh yeah i found out at the week, like the other week,

that's in front of her bed because she hasn't filmed the short film bit with it yet. Oh. So it, so it's sitting, so her and her boyfriend wake up to the five foot picture

of me naked every day. And her and her boyfriend were like commenting on how my body's shaped. Do you know what I mean? They're like, because I see it every day. Yeah, but she didn't, she didn't paint it, you know,

when you were naked, right? No, I tucked it in. Yeah. And I got Nicola to take it. I got Nicola to take it and she didn't even blink. What do you mean take it? To take the reference shot. Oh, okay.

You didn't sit for it. You took a picture. Yeah, I took a picture. So she needed just a reference shot. So I sat on our chair no tucked it in and said nick i need to take a picture of me naked for poppy she just did it she didn't even blink really and the pitch and the painting's never been used apart from to be last thing they see at night first thing they see in the morning first thing but apparently

there's a short film in the works and when that that's done, my friend has preemptively bought it to be hung in his hall in Yorkshire, I think I said, yeah. He's the Airbnb guy and was, I believe, the king of the league table. For a while, yeah. Can I tell you another thing I've heard about? This is my friend Peter, who I used to live with. And then in London, now he owns a couple of Airbnb type properties in Yorkshire. His partner was telling me he's got dyslexia.

And apparently at uni, he's a very bold man. Do you know what I mean? I can imagine him as like quite a bold, younger man as well, but very softly spoken. But he had dyslexia and he sort of said to the tutor or facilitator or something, what do you have, what provisions do you do? And they hadn't done any provisions for dyslexia. So he just like, can I be in charge of that he talks about, Pete talks about this middle-aged lady with great affection even now. But he just brought her to all his lectures

and she managed his calendar and stuff. Oh, wow. That's nice. Full-time? I don't know. Full-time, I asked him. I'll ask for the qualification because it was a very funny image to me. This 20-something young man with a middle-aged PA.

A middle-aged PA. Can't be that much stuff to get in the diary, can there? I don't know. Like, down the keg house. Wednesday afternoons. Sports afternoon. Wednesday afternoon down the union. Right.

Who knows? Amy Gledhill. Shout out Amy Gledhill. Okay. Shout out Amy Gledhill. I'm expecting one message. That's all I was saying. Yeah, there's one more to play here.

And I do want to talk about that as a city issue as well. Okay. But whether you want me to do it before or after the message, up to you. Well, it's labelled tirade, so I think I'm going to play it. Happy first birthday, rural concerns, from your favourite listener.

It's me, Helen Bower. And, Sunil, I'm taking the fucking Robert Dias poll bowl i can't believe you talk about on the podcast obviously you technically bought it but i use it the most also i'll do something fucking minging with it including my minge being in it so then you won't want to take it so fuck off fuck off also you can't just be like oh you can buy it from robert dyers because they don't sell them anymore because i'm fucking checking all the time even though you'reias because they don't sell them anymore because I'm fucking checking all the time. Even though you're like, oh, they obviously still sell them. Shops change their stock, you fucking moron. Yeah, so, I mean, obviously, best not to get her when she's had a drink in her.

That's what I say, firstly. Secondly. This was the chortle.co.uk awards. Congratulations on the nom. You know, she missed her bus to do that one. She missed her bus for that, I think. And I don't think it was worth it. Look, first of all, that Robert Dias bowl is very special to me.

That saw me through lockdown when I was living alone. They do still sell it. You just have to go online and reserve it to pick up in the shop. It's $4.95. It's the Robert Dias pasta bowl, nine inch. Okay, it's not hard to get hold of. She does use it more than me because whenever i go to use it it's sitting on the side of the sink unwashed and that's all i have to say about

the bowl apart from the fact that she's not taking it it's my bowl you can't just take my bowl from me especially when that's everything that is literally your everything that's my that bowl is my everything yeah but obviously i was there with so so me and Helen were having a bit of a chit chat. And she said, she listens to the podcast. And she said, Chris, Sonny lies. He tells lies on that podcast. Oh, she would say that, wouldn't she? And I was like, what do you mean, Helen?

And the one that she told me, she said a lot of your behavior is very strange. And the thing that she told me was that the other day she was unwell. She was ill. And what you did then was go to the shop and buy a packet of penguin chocolate bars and eat six of them in front of her. Yeah, I fancied them.

And she just watched. Well, she was sick. She couldn't eat anything, could she? Did you at least read her the jokes? Yeah. Well, she asked.. She couldn't eat anything, could she? Did you at least read her the jokes? Yeah. Well, she asked. I had to read them. No, because she had some sort of food poisoning episode.

So I had to go out and get some milk because, you know, there was no milk for tea and coffee. I wanted some milk for tea and coffee. I just thought I'd get myself some penguins as well. But it doesn't mean it's got nothing to do with her food poisoning is it getting the penguins it's just a man buying penguins there's nothing wrong with that

did you get her any of this sort of stuff there's like a few key items that are good if someone's got quite an upset stomach isn't there oh yeah what are they oh it's an acronym hold on let me find it well I mean if she's vomiting she can't really keep anything down can she

yeah but there's like a was my reasoning there's a specific it's BR it's the brat diet i believe it's bananas yeah rice we had those we've got that apple sauce toast well we had most of that in the house so she could have done that but no why is it strange for someone to leave the house to buy some penguin one the way i say it yeah that sounds strange yeah but uh eating them in view of somebody's strange. Well, it's my house, isn't it? It's my house.

I can eat my penguins in my house. Did you tip them out into the bowl? No, I hid them behind the air fryer. She said she thinks basically you feel quite insecure sometimes chatting with us once a week, like two adult men with families and houses who eat grains. I, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Don't tell me with the beetroot brush.

I would. Two men who are provided grains and trout. Easily smash seven penguins and hide. I hide chocolate for my children all the time. I have to occasionally go in the cupboard to eat chocolates. See, I don't, I had no real shame. I had some shame about it because obviously I hid them for a bit. But I did offer her one, but she couldn't eat it.

I thought it would be a nice treat as well if she wanted one of them. I don't see it as a bad thing that I ate some penguins. I don't know why you're looking at me like that. It's good to get both sides into it, just so. Now we know your side. We had Helen's side and. Now we know your side. Now we know your side. We had her, we had Helen's side and now we've had your side

and yeah. What's weird about it? A stark contrast. If I have to, if we have to, we don't have enough time. Right, well, who's keeping the bowl?

It's not even an argument because it's my bowl, isn't it? I know, there ain't enough time in the world. There ain't enough time in the world.

I'm going to hide that bowl before she moves out. She's moving out in three days. I'm hiding that bowl. I think she knows it's going to be behind the air fryer i've got a new air fryer but you've already explained how like you live minimally yeah i mean that's why that bowl's so important to me i'm actually as soon as she goes i'm getting rid of all the plates so i'm going down the charity shop with the plates dashing them out the window well i thought i don't know how do you give away plates nobody really wants old plates to there but i'll give them to the charity shop why are you doing that is it to discourage is it to discourage guests no it's just i don't like the plates they're not

nice i listened to a podcast that was about bill clinton oh god what was it called? It was basically where you use terrain as a deterrent. Yeah. You focus, it was all about America's borders. So refocused all of the border defense in the accessible areas, which are near big voting populations. Right. This forced people crossing legally into more and more dangerous areas because of the terrain right now the reason i bring that up is because i believe that is the environment you're trying to make so that if someone comes around they don't feel comfortable in a hostile environment

a hostile environment that's it i'll be honest with you that has been a tactic in the past yeah just like you know like when they put those, do you know, they say they're anti-pigeon things when they put them on steps and stuff, those little spikes. Basically, do you put those on an Ikea recliner? I've got to get a new sofa and I'm going to make sure it's under 160 centimetres long so that an adult can't sleep on it. Ouch.

Wow. Yeah. I mean, that is literally the opposite of what I would do. I would probably like try and make sure it was a sofa bed so that I could have guests. Oh, but you don't get the kind of guests I'd get. No? You don't have middle-aged comedians

who just want somewhere to stay after a gig. Ah, okay. Yeah, and I don't want to be shutting that door yet, you know what I mean? Where are you sleeping now, Chris, when you're in London? I normally go to Amy Gledill's. And what's her sofa like?

Because she had, she was going to give me her old sofa at one point, but it didn't work out. It's very good. I'm always in and out. Stained by Chris. Tear stained.

No, tear said. If you've got male comedians knocking around, do you know what I mean popping down for an audition there's gonna be there's gonna be tears in your city that's just

fair play actually okay I'll get a proper sofa bed for the boys proper sofa bed adds the same mattress covering as you know what you do for people who are a bit older

and they're infirm plastic that heavy plastic sheet but not for me tarp tarp for the lads tarp for the lads tarp for the lads who are chasing their dreams

tarp for the lads who had six pints and gone to sleep where all the lads that they got at uni with owned seven bedroom houses and have massive pensions alright well you've changed my mind guys thank you for making me a kinder person both awful etc that's good I'm glad to see you you're keeping the bowl though I'm keeping the fucking bowl man All right. Well, you've changed my mind, guys. Thank you for making me a kinder person, more thoughtful, et cetera.

That's good. I'm glad to see you. You're keeping the bowl, though. I'm keeping the fucking bowl, man. It's my bowl. I don't even know why I'm angry that it's even become a talking point, because why would you just lay claim

to someone else's stuff and say, that's mine now? Son-El, it's all everybody's talking about. The bowl? And not in the way that you would like. Right, fine. talking about the ball and not in the way that you would like right fine helen has built up a loyal fan base of listeners on this podcast including myself well she was like what's he like i was like you know what he's like do you know what i mean it was like two two sort of people with a shared trauma swapping notes association with me she he was basically insinuating there's something deeply wrong

how is there something deeply wrong with me when I want to just keep my bowl I think that's fair enough and eat some penguins in my own house that's all I'm saying

and what but what before we start to wrap it up Jim what is next what's down the line well two more episodes

and then knock it on the head probably but just let it fizzle out obviously we've got the Mac show coming up thanks to all the lovely people

who bought tickets for that I think it's sold out yeah big time but if you are hankering after seeing us in real life do

the this whatever this is you can do that in Manchester can't you in November yeah

give it some fucking oomph mate this is, that you can do that in Manchester, can't you? In November. Yeah. I mean, give it some fucking oomph, mate. This is a big deal. News to me, this one. Go on.

22nd of November, 2025. Can I, can I tell you how you, you should do it? show me how to do it. Sorry. Listen, okay.

So guys, like I'm blowing dust off my thing, gold, I'm doing gold glitter off my fingers at the mic. At the mic, at the webcam. Guys, all your dreams are coming true. Oh, shit. Guys, get this.

We are doing our last live show of 2025 on the 22nd of November in the greatest city in Lancashire, Manchester. Not the world. Yeah, put a bed under this, James. Manchester's a great city. Some of the people in Manchester are a bit much, to be honest with you. Women are fine. Some men are a bit, you know what I mean?

This is selling it. But it's a good place. We're doing it at the Fairfield Social Club. Do you know what I mean? This is selling it. This is a bull. It's a good place. We're doing it at the Fairfield Social Club. It's got a very, we have done data research on our audience. We've met you guys when we've been out and about, which is why this show will be starting at 2.30 PM in the afternoon.

Of a Saturday. And it will be wrapped up for tea time. And we'll see you all the next morning for a premiere in breakfast around the corner. But I can't tell you, it's going to be just a live show, but it will be. I'm cooking up something. Oh, no.

Some fresh new madness. Which I'm calling. No, we've got it with our trademark decide one's own destiny. Yes. System. Yes system yes dude system can sonil can sonil survive the secrets of what of pitch 49 listen that it's a real shame he's got eight months to come up with this that's all i'm saying all right if i've got a feeling it's gonna be seven months of this and then yeah a couple of weeks of, oh, fucking hell, I've done too much again. A bit enough more than I can chew again. 170 page adventure.

A lot of WhatsApp talk downs. I don't see it like that. I see it as... A lot of messages are saying, just go with it, guys. Just go with it. Yeah, all right. There is a bit where I'm like, James, just stop asking me questions. Just stop. Because James is like, well, just stop asking me questions. Just stop.

Because James is like, well, if you did it this way, it'd be a lot easier. And I'm like, yeah, but I'm too far into it this bad way. Just start with a skeleton and flesh it out from there is what I said. I'm going to start with a skeleton for this one. I'm going to work on the overall structure of the story on one line. I'm going to build the structure in a post-it note thing. And I'm going to write, well, I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I'm going to write, because I've been reading a lot about interactive fiction.

Yes. So what I'm going to do first is write a two-page overview of the story. Not the choices, but like what world world are we dropping the sun into? Who are the characters? What are some key escalation beats? To set the tone and flavour. That's what I want to achieve. These are some big things that I want to happen,

and this is the general trajectory. Then it's wireframing underneath. Choices, routes, like different ways that we can go, different whether we interact with anything. And the final stage is fleshing out the individual sections. Right. It's going to just brace yourself. That is on the record now that you're going to do it that way around.

I tell you, in the Discord community, a thread's kicked off about um interactive fiction and i've brought a lot of interactive fiction i've been listening to radio documentaries about it i honestly believe that this is what i want to do as a job oh a hard pivot hard pivot yeah no it's a soft pivot it's kind of a soft pivot it's kind of what i've been doing yeah it feels like it's right up your street yeah and i don't mean that as an. I wasn't just calling you a dork in an underhand way. So the tickets are on sale now.

22nd of November, 2025, Manchester. 221125. Remember those numbers. 221125. And that'll be Chris's passcode to his phone leading up to that date. Should I give him... James, should I or should I not

give everybody my Pokemon Go code? I don't know what it means, but yeah, James, should I or should I not give everybody my Pokemon Go code? I don't, I don't know what it means, but yeah, probably it's fine. I'll do it. And then, can you get your location

from it? Your actual physical location? If I send them a gift, they will see, I can't do it. Isn't Helen banging into all this Pokemon Go stuff? Yeah,

me and Helen are, me and Helen are friends. We're sending each other one or two gifts a day. I have no idea what this means. But basically you send postcards, but the postcards are almost where I live exactly. You know?

So I can't do it. That'll probably go against your wife's request not to do it. Yeah, my wife has expressly, you know, you got it in first, first one out of the gate, please stop revealing our full address. Okay, babe, I understand. I won't do it again. Shall we do the outro?

Do you want to do a letter or is it just too much for a letter now, an hour and 10? It's a big old job for Joe, this, isn't it? I mean, we could. It's a bumper birthday episode. I've got one very quick letter. Oh, yeah. Is it a birthday?

It's basically a birthday card. Basically a birthday card. Let's hit this one. Hello. You Google Chris Cantrell, you find a urologist. You Google Sunil Patel, you find a urologist.

So what's going on? Kind regards, Anthony. 539 up. Down. 539 down. 395 up. And that's Oxford fibre. That makes sense.

There's a lot of science going on there. There is a lot of science going on in Oxford. Wow. What are you doing with 395 up? What are you putting up there? Why are you just getting urologists? Yeah, I didn't think I was a urologist. There's a Chris Cantrell urologist, some American guy,

and we're fighting over the rest of the year. Well, there were a lot of Sunil Patel as doctors. Yeah. When I've been finding you on social media, I have to remember the exact spelling of your social media handles because if I don't, I'm just heading headfirst into a sea of Sunil Patels. Do you know what I mean? They're saying it don't pop up on the recently found.

Well, it should do, seeing as we've known each other for over a decade. Yeah, but the algorithm's keeping us apart. I still like stay away from him, find a new one. Find a new one.

Look how many there are. You could do so much better. This one, this one from Austin, Texas would definitely share the podcast. It seems really kind. I don't know. I don't know.

I mean, yeah, I'm surprised that you are finding that because we've both achieved things that are on a par with being a urologist, I think. Have you chat GPT'd who is and your name? I've gone, what's a 180 twice? 360. I've done a 360. I've done a 360. I've done a 360.

I hated AI. Then I've been listening to some podcasts and I was like, it's happening, it's inevitable. Now I think it's just a load of wank. It's the Emperor's New Clothes. I'm back at the beginning. But we can't talk about that now. We owe our listeners two-hour deep dive into AI.

James, we have to, that's what they want. We have to do it. Happy birthday, all the cashers. It's me, very very sad. I've just taken a break from being out in the field and looking at the mushrooms and trying to persuade the bull not to charge at me. I just wanted to say, not to charge at me.

I just wanted to say, well done. Who'd have thought it? We'd have been here 200 episodes in. I wouldn't have thought you'd have got past the first one. Well done, lads. Had a fresh bang on the teeth for me. That's the most Northampton he's ever been. It's pretty bang on. There's no way that could be made up. Do you know what Northampton he's ever been. It's pretty bang on.

It's like, there's no way that could be made up. Do you know what I mean? It's too real. And that was the 52nd episode of rural concerns and you can't tell by our voices but we are bent over with gratitude our palms upturned in thanks as our noses scrape the floor i think he's trying to say thanks for listening and join the patreon but thank you very much and if you would like to go the extra mile please recommend us to someone irl in real life yeah just for our audience that's what that means and but i mean maybe if we

are recommending somebody maybe don't start with this one i can't imagine this one's the one to like take you to first toe dip in they must be listened to sequentially or alternatively you can drop us a five-star review on Spotify or Apple Podcasts. And the best way to support Rural Concerns is by wanging us a few quid on Patreon. It will help us continue and you will get bonus episodes

with a new type of bonus episode coming out soon and access to our online chat community, The Creamery. Yeah, so a couple of things. One, we've got our live show. The sales are on for now

for Manchester for November. Just another thing that I thought I'd mentioned. At the Mac Comedy Fest, our show is sold out, but I'm going to be doing a little cameo in a brilliant podcast called Crowley Time with Tom Crowley. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I'm doing a bit, innit? It's like if you haven't listened to it,

it's just like one man sort of sketch show thing, and I'm doing a little part in's like if you haven't listened to it, it's just like one man sort of sketch show thing. And I'm doing a little part in it and I can't wait. So I think that's on. I think that's on the Sunday. I should have double checked out. But yeah, that'll be fun. Can't wait. But if you want to email us,

drop us a line at Christopher at a lovely time. Dot co dot UK. Rural Concerns was edited by Joseph. Google Gemini Burrows. Our music is by Sam O'Leary and our artwork is by Poppy Hilstead. Hey, and a special thanks to people that I definitely should have written their names out. Phil Ellis, Amy Gledl, Mark Silcox, Nicola Redmond, Alistair Beckett-King, Helen Bower, Farmer Bugerton, Poppy Hilstead, Sam O'Leary, John Stansfield, Claire Hawkins, Dave Blackett,

Andy Keane, Jack Lewis Evans, Lee Jones and Joseph Limewire Burrows. Thanks everyone. And you, the listener, thanks. Rural Concerns. I enjoyed your efforts to catch the Gin Monster. You came closer than you'll ever know. But you'll never catch me. Bong.