Rural Concerns - Holidays, shushings & a terrible foam

Episode Date: July 8, 2025

Sunil finally snaps, James encourages responsible skulling and Chris evicts his new neighbours in the worst way possible. The lads also get a very cool message from an Argentinian farmer.  If you want to experience the full force of Rural Concerns Live, you can grab tickets to our Manchester show at Fairfield Social Club on 22nd November. Tickets will be a laugh. Do you think Chris is a good guy? Drop us an email; [e-mail]. We promise we’ll be very kind! The best way to support this educational podcast is through Patreon. For less than a fiver you can get bonus episodes and access to our Discord community, The Creamery. Our artwork is by Poppy Hillstead, our music is by Sam O’Leary and our legal due diligence is by Cal Derrick, Entertainment Lawyer. Rural Concerns is edited by Joseph Burrows and produced by Egg Mountain for A Lovely Time Productions.

Hello and welcome to Rural Concerns, a podcast where three old friends get together to discuss life in the countryside. My name's Chris and I live in rural Northumberland amidst the ruins of the long dead Roman Empire. I will spend my days imagining myself as a freezing cold Italian who's been stationed at an outpost on Caesar's bleakest frontier. As I stare out into the pitch black countryside looking for any telltale signs of an incursion

from the Celtic hordes. I think about my Italian family back home. I think about my little boy, Bueno, and my wife, Mrs. Empagnara. One day I hope I will see them again and we can all enjoy a buffon macerera. You know how we always do. Thunk! What's that? A spear just misses my Italian head. Ring a double bell. Ring a da bell. My name is Sunil Patel and I live in London, downstairs from the second home of a prominent MP. Music loudly plays at all hours and each day I see a stream of adult party animals coming in and out like a chemsex ant's nest. One time some beautiful young man with amazing tans and perfectly

landscaped facial hair went in dressed as members of Margaret Thatcher's front bench cabinet. I can't say who the MP is, let's just call him. Beep. Obviously. My name is producer James and I live in the suburbs, only a five minute drive away from the UK's last remaining Frankie and Benny's. The staff there know my name and they always give me a balloon, even though they know it's me. Can you set that sentence from the top please? Sorry, just give me a good run through please James. The staff there know my name and they always give me a balloon, even though they know it's me who leaves those horrible skiddies that start in the toilet bowl and end in the cow

pot. those horrible skiddies that start in the toilet bowl and end in the cow park. Let's do the podcast. Well, I'm on holiday, aren't I? You are on holiday. I'm on my holidays. One, two, three. Holiday report. Chris? Good morning, boys, and welcome to verbal concerns. No, I'm on holiday. I was talking about my holiday. Why are you on holiday?

He deserves it. Have you seen how much he's on television all the time? Have you seen how much I'm on telly in that? I'm in Kingswears and Dartmouth, and you have to get a ferry between the two. I don't watch base television. do you know what I mean? So I don't watch base television. Occasionally you pop up, I've been to a film with the cinema on, do you know what I mean? And it was when you were doing that advert for, to advertise the country of Sweden with Anne Hathaway, do you remember that?

Yes, Switzerland, Switzerland. Yeah. Me, Anne Hathaway and Roger Federer. Good lad. The three famous, the three Swiss triptych. No, I think she's a mate of his, so he roped her in for it. And you? I'm just a guy.

I'm just a guy. He played a guy that was, from how he was dressed, was 15 years younger than he actually is! I was supposed to play Federer's manager, but at the last minute Federer's manager decided to play his manager. That's fair enough. That's good. So the Federer's manager, but at the last minute Federer's manager decided to play his manager. That's fair enough. That's good. So the Federer's manager got the confidence. Yeah. And he was, he was, he was really funny as well.

Game mechanizes game. That's what I'm saying. So anyway, I'm on holiday. Shh. I'm on holiday. Oh yeah. 67 episodes and I haven't been shushed yet. I'm on, listen, I'm on holiday. I'm on holiday. I've had one night here. I've had a nice fish supper last night. And today everyone else has gone to watch the British and Irish lions in the pub.

And I'm here doing this podcast on my holiday. Do you understand? Is that a rugby thing or is that some sort of animal cruelty? It's rugby. A British and Irish lions. Are they both called lions? They're called the lions, but they are made up of players from Britain and Ireland. Chris, you can talk. I'm not shushing you.

Oh, you would like me to join the conversation now. Someone, someone else who's not them, different team. Okay. Yeah. Cool. Right. I missed out on some of the gimmicks. Right. So you're on an island community, is this correct? No. You said you had to get a fairy film one bit

to other. Across the harbour. It's sort of a harbour with two, there's Dartmouth on one side and Kingsweir on the other. And I've been here before. I came here two years ago and I went to a restaurant called the Rockfish and I went there again last night night and I'll tell you what, still lovely. I had a fish and some chips, but not fish and chips. I think I had a brill, a brill in Bernays sauce and unlimited chips. So it's like a, it isn't all you can eat buffet type fish restaurant. Only the chips. Only the chips. You can't do all you can eat fish.

That'd be mad. I went to a, Nicole took me to a really fancy fish place in Whitley Bay and I had dog fish gumbo. And I still, I still think about it routinely. Dog fish are the ones that look weird, right? Are they a type of shark? Type of dog. I don't know. It was, I think they might, it was delicious. It was a meaty, the meatiest type of fish you've ever seen in your life. It's one of those

places, you know, where you're getting what's served on the day. You don't be looking at a PDF menu online because it's going to be different on the day based on what that catch is. This is, this is exciting. This is good. This is good stuff. Who have you gone on holiday with? Okay. So I'm on holiday with, with Peter Callum.

Obviously, I probably shouldn't full name them. Should I? No, just do it. All right. Pete, Pete, Callum, Matt and't full name them, should I? No. Just do it. All right. Pete, Callum, Matt and Tom. Thank you.

No. Do any of them have any nicknames? Is Callum ever called Cal? Yep. Today we're going to hire a boat and get shitted. Nice. So these are school friends. Yeah.

Are you finding with men of our age that basically how you interact is the first bit of a conversation is 25 to 35 minutes of talking about what stage of decline your parents are at. Oh yeah, we do a bit of that. Yeah, definitely. It's just become part of the mandatory 40s chat is like, oh God, this one's got high blood pressure. Yeah. As we have loads of lagers. Yeah. And think this will never happen to us.

All right. Sorry. I've stopped talking about my holiday and I'd like to apologize for shushing you Chris. You shushed me twice there. And it's seared. I think it was three, but you didn't hear. Can I be fully honest? Yeah. Totally forgot we were doing this recording until Sunil says I'm sat there. So I've come into it with the energy of a bull that didn't know it was doing a podcast

recording. Full throttle. That's annoying to me because I've had to take time out of my holiday to do this. No, but I'm saying I forgot. podcast recording, full throttle. Mason You know what I mean? Well, what? Just, I'm getting a lot of flack now. I'm a good guy. I'm a good friend and a good guy. That was two days. To be fair, that was two days ago. I'm a good guy and a good friend. Can you all just, can we all just say that each consider? Can you just say that?

Why do I have to say that? I'm a good guy and a good friend. I'm a good guy and a good friend. We've got him on a technicality. Absolutely done him. Your skin looks very clear and fresh. Just randomly fresh skin. Anything?

What have you done there? Face mask? No. Oh, so that, I thought that was a makeup thing that you sent that picture of you with the stuff all over your face. Nicola made me put some, Nicola like two years ago, got me a men's face putty mask type thing. So she made me do it. She made me do it last night for

no reason at all. And I put it on and peeled it off and it felt magical. Did it? Yeah. And I did these things. I got these other things as well, you know, like under the eye little patches. I got two of those. You still got them on? No, I took them off. I took them off. That's just your natural bags. Yep. That's fine.

You're a good friend, Chris. No, I took them off. I took them off. That's just your natural bags. Yep. That's fine. You're getting a good friend, Chris. No, I'm a good guy and a good friend, Chris. I'm getting a kick in, but I understand it's not about me. It's about what's going on in the world. Maybe it's because you were late for this recording that we've had to do a short notice and very much against our schedules. So schedules. I've heard that some people were on holiday as well enjoying a personal holiday. If you start drinking, to be honest, we're probably saving your life. Do you know what I mean? What you don't need to be doing is drinking from 10am in the morning.

You can't handle that. I didn't want to. I wasn't going to. I was just going to have a shandy. You're going on holiday with, I'm guessing- Raddler Summer. Married lads with kids. Some of them, yeah.

There is never a more depraved animal than a married lad with a kid off the leash. Generally, it's not been, it's been very nice. We've had a very civilized dinner and then a lovely ferry ride home and then opened- We get to age where at least one of your friends has completely recalibrated the relationship with alcohol, you know, and they've stopped. Like, do you know what I mean? Like my friends just largely stopped drinking, which is brilliant, but it does come with a moment of like buffering in all of our brains because the only way we've ever interacted

only the only way we've ever hung out in 25 years has been in pubs. Yeah, I know. So you do have to slightly rethink things. I don't think this really applies to you because like as the as the Canadian about town, we are, you know, very off air with little coffees. Yes, I'm not sure about finding third spaces. Is it third spaces where you'd have to pay to be there? They don't exist.

They don't exist. So right, you know, like, you know, the, the Barbican go and sit in there for two hours. Yeah. But they are being, I feel this, I'm very passionate about this. I feel that these, if you're in a town center, they're now designed completely around commerce, aren't they? Yeah. So these places, I was in London and I realized that there's no

benches anymore. There's no benches in like most of central London. So there's no way to, so suddenly if you've got mobility issues, if you're a bit older, if you've got small children, the big advertisement is London is not for you. Yeah. Which is upsetting. And yeah, it's like one of those, do you know when they say like cities are designed for like the six foot tall men, this sort of thing. So like banisters are too high and all this sort of stuff. You worried about coming to London tomorrow?

I'm looking forward to it. Oh yeah? That wasn't meant to be a jibe, but I wanted it to be one. What do you mean, I can't reach the banisters? You can't reach the handrails on the tube. So you have to scurry on into the middle and hold on to the pole. Here is the city, mate. What I'll do is I'll put my big rucksack on and I'll get my ticket and I'll look down at my ticket

and then I'll look up at the thing and then I'll turn left and right and hit people with my bag. Make sure when you come out of a station, you just stop. Yeah, just stop to look around. And getting off the tube, and don't get off the tube quickly as well. And if you're getting on the tube, stand in the way of people trying to get off that tube. And when I get into the tube, even if it's full, even if people are spilling out onto the platform, I'll say, can you move down please? Like that. Can you move down inside please?

Is that bad? I didn't know that was a bad thing to do. I think that's quite a local thing. That's quite London. What you should do is when you get on the tube, even if it's really busy, just start trying to talk to people, just have a chat, and then get really annoyed when total strangers don't engage with your chit chat. I wouldn't have it. I don't live there. I often feel with London, there was a London is a rhythm. It is a beat. It's pump, but a bump, but a bump bump. You know what I mean? What was in that face mask? I don't know, but it's like two years out of date. So I think it's just seeping, seeping directly into my bloodstream.

But do you know what I mean? London's got its own rhythm. Bam, bada, bam, bada, bam. And you, when you live in London, that's what your body moves to. Bam, bada, bam, bada, bam. And then when I moved out of London, I had to come back to London for a while. I'm always back and forth to London, but I remember like I left London and then over six, eight months I'm back in London, I'm doing business. I'm like, I'm still running at the same frequency, like, you know, the bum, but then, but then I remember like suddenly I was out of tune with it all. Do you know what I mean? My internal clock changed.

I remember I stayed in a hotel in London and so on. I couldn't sleep. I was having a panic attack and my brother-in-law was just like, you're a country boy now, I'll show you off. And I was like, yeah, that's it. I've checked, man. Yeah, your rhythms now. You're a good friend and a good, what, a lad or a fella? What? I can't remember. Like a good, like a, you know what I mean? You've got a personal. I'll make a sting out of it and we'll just play the Chris is a good lad sting now I'm a good guy and a good friend I'm a good guy and a good friend I'm a good guy and a good friend what are you gonna say you've got a personal

calamity afoot yeah so much gone wrong what you get your phone number I can rely on Chris thing and I'll pick up and there for you you? I almost, almost always go straight to answer phone and then you text me going, what have I done? Whenever I ring you. Yeah, I think that's fair. I'm not ringing you that much because you always pretend to be really busy. I'm not pretending to be really busy. That's your ringtone.

I do look at other people and think, why are you not busy? Do you know what I mean? I never stop. I'm always, my brain's always, my brain's always ticking over with some, I'm always sorting something out. And then I saw another comedian, has to be said a posh comedian in a cafe in London, reading a book. And you're like, how have you got time to be reading a book?

You read book. In bed, I read one, exactly two paragraphs of a book and it takes me eight months of time. And I only do that to force. Do you know when your computer's not listening to the, when you try to turn the PC off, like you go to shut down, it's just not listening to you. It's still like powering away.

The book, like that's what my brain's like, I can't sleep. The book, his forces are shut down. Forces are shut down on a software update. You're right, it is that. I mean, it happens to me in the afternoon if I read a book. It makes me sleepy. But I think that's good. I suppose it's very important to read stuff that's not on the screen, isn't it?

It's like part of the process. Yes, that blue light, isn't it? It gets you, keeps you awake, makes your body think there's a threat. Got to stay up. Big blue lit threat. I need to cough. Do it. Done it. I'm muted and came back. Oh, that is very professional. A bit discombobulating being in this setup here. It's not the usual setup because of

course I'm on holiday, so I haven't really got all my stuff around me. Vapes. Are you worried about your vape? Can you not vape inside? usual setup. Cause of course I'm on holiday, so I haven't really got all my stuff around me. So. Vapes. Are you worried about your vape? Can you not vape inside? I can't vape inside. That's basically the main problem. I can't vape in here. I just want to get out. These four walls are closing in on me. I just need to get out of here. Should we have a, should we have a countryside update, Chris? I think everyone wants to know what's going on with your battle. Sonal, this is the podcast. You're living your life in the countryside or wherever

you are. That's it. Two nights, two nights. Two nights. I can see like a cherry blossom behind you or something like that. It looks magical. It's actually a really, it's a cliff face, not a cliff face, but a hillside. It just backs right onto the back of the house.

It's basically just a sheer rock. Oh, I can see that now. Yeah. It's basically just a sheer rock. I can say that now. Yeah. So what I thought was, yeah. Yeah. What you thought was flowers was actually wall. Yeah. The nature's wall, not a human wall. Audio first medium. Well, that sounds really, that sounds really good. I just want to say to you and the lads keep on trucking. Do you know what I mean? You'll be back in here with your wives and children. Thank you very much.

So yeah, get stuck in. You're saying, you're saying get stuck in on what? The lagers? On the lagers. And that's, you know what? I'd like to extend that to all. Yeah. The absolute top guns listed to this podcast. All the lads out there listening to this who are just sharpshooters, killers out there, keep sculling those tins. 24 seven cheers. They've got a flapjackery here. Can I just say to skull those tins responsibly, sharpshooters? Right.

Can we have a, can we have a countryside bit, Chris? Here is the countryside bit. Everyone is crying out to know what happened in the battle with the Wasps. We've won, but at what cost? The act of violence has diminished me. Do you know what I mean? We have claimed victory, but these Wasps, basically what we use these. And like I've said before, I have nature of being a man in the world fired out of my mother's womb like a red ball on a, on a pool table. Do you know what I mean? Like by a velocity. I have by proxy accidentally killed a lot of animals specifically since I've lived in the countryside. Do you know what I mean? They just keep that, that deer, that rabbit, do

you know what I mean? That Kestrel, did you hit a hawk or something with a car? I've walked at a hawk. This is all part of the cycle of life. If you live in that cycle, you get caught up. It's like gang violence. It's like being in South Central LA. Like you're not going to get away with it. You're going to kill or be killed. Will Barron It's a poster on the wall saying how many days since we've had an accident. 93 reset to zero because I've gone over a, I've gone over

a weevil or something like that. So the Wasps, the Wasps could not be, the wasps could not live. They were starting to, the nest is like just outside our, the sun room. Can we put a picture of that, the wasp nest onto socials? Yeah, I'll put the wasp, I'll put the wasp nests on the social so you can see the wasps nest. And it was in a right funny cranny. And basically we went to our local hardware shop and looked at what solutions there were. The solution is as far as we know,

what we couldn't do is like encourage them to move on. So death was the only option. So we purchased some, all I'll say is it looked like shaving foam and we waited until it was nighttime because basically, because the hives busy all day. Do you know what I mean? It's like Piccadilly Circus up there, you know, wasps in and out.

I don't know what wasps. Yeah, yeah. It's just like London. Wasps complaining that there's no benches. That's why wasps sit innately against human nature because they run at a London pace. Do you know what I mean? They run, they dance to the London beat. They can't live. Yeah. That's as a metaphor that gets worrying when you say that people from London can't

live. It's watertight. It's watertight. In general, we are asking for more emails, but they specifically what I've just said, please do not contact us at all. Basically, when it got dark, I put on my wife's dry robe, all encapsulating swimming towel thing. Yeah. Yeah. We've heard about this. Oh, because you didn't want to be recognized. And we did it by twilight, so the last of the sun, and absolutely caked it. Sprayed like a third of the bottle of this foam that just came out like shaving foam and it just like smothered it. And then basically

nothing happened. Like wasps started like slopping out of it, you know. MW What do you mean? Melted? RL No, not melted, but they were dripping in this foam and clearly in a bad way. And they were covered in it. Oh. An absolutely horrendous way to die. Very conflicting. They needed to go, but obviously don't want to cause harm.

But then my wife did it again in the morning just to be double a show. And I don't know. I think she enjoyed it. Did she dress up or was she like, I don't care if you know where I live. No, I think I was the maiden voyage of the firm. So I think we did overprotected and then we saw how it worked. So I suspect, and also the, by the morning, the wasps nest had been diminished significantly, you know?

So as far as we're aware now it's dead. So every now and again, a wasp seems to far as we're aware now, it's dead. So every now and again a wasp seems to be returning and it's like, what? You know what I mean? It doesn't know what to do. I was like, where's my mates? I used to, it's just like you coming down to London and everyone's slopped out. I don't think wasps can find other mates either, can they? Do they not make new friends? No, they don't mix well, do they?

I have no idea. And I don't know what to do. I think I have to at some point get a stick and prod it because I think I've basically left like a penthouse apartment, you know what I mean, unoccupied. So eventually maybe- It's got its own sunroom. Maybe another little exploratory wasp from another community finds its way there and it's like, listen, I've just found this totally empty pad. We should all go home now. Do you think there are WASP estate agents?

God, can you imagine the worst type of estate agent in the universe taking the two worst things in the universe there and conjoin them. Can you put it in a glass box as a warning? That's a good idea. What submerge it in resin? Yeah, yeah, yeah, like from Aldehyde or something. a warning. That's a good idea. Well, submerge it in resin. Yeah. Yeah. Like from Aldehyde or something.

Put it in this big resin block, put that block on the top of a cane, like that guy in Drasset Park, do you know what I mean? And just be like, on a cane, you know what I mean? A big staff with a big block on the end. Yeah, great. David Blaine. Like David Blaine. Exactly like David Blaine. Like David Blaine. Exactly like David Blaine.

Let's be honest. Maybe David Blaine is the perfect deterrent. Can you imagine going into anywhere and David Blaine's there? God, you'd leave immediately, wouldn't you? By the way, speaking of old jokes, I got that joke from last episode. Do you remember the joke from the letter from the person? Did you get that joke? Yeah. The red Richard. No, what is. Do you remember the joke from the letter from the person? Did you get that joke? Yeah. The Red Richardson. No, what is it? What's the joke?

So it was an idea of a title for the filmed version of Sunil and Red Richardson. Go and rescue your, what was it? Spirito de Punto. No, it wasn't a Punto. It's a Lexus. A Lexus, a small Lexus. It's a mid-size. There are smaller ones, but they don't make them anymore. Okay. Okay. Not the smallest Lexus. Currently the smallest one in the lineup. Yeah. But they used to be a smaller one before. So it's not, it's, you know, it's different what you're talking about.

Yeah. You can get toys. Sure. The, one of the titles was put forward as being Get Carter brackets Sunil's flat. Yeah. Now I think the reason I did it. Get car two Sunil's flat. Is Get car brackets and Il's flat. Yeah. Now I think the reason I did it is get car to Sunil's flat. I get it. And generally the only reason I got that is because when I clipped it up, the auto subtitles got the joke better than I did.

So we're absolutely fucked. AI's won us. Great. We're sorry AI, we've done you wrong. So congratulations. I think it was Tom, was it? So should it be congratulations or should it be sorry? Sorry from Chris. Okay, so if you could write in your apology, Tom. No, no, James. The last episode was just, yeah, we, we did a heartfelt and passion plea for people to get in touch with us to

talk about countryside issues in their life. And you just spent the last five minutes of the episode going, what? I don't get it. Get cart. What? And I was like, James. And that's, so now you would say, well, actually, well done. That was a good joke. Thanks very much, Tom. Yeah. You'd have to, you don't apologize for not getting a joke. I can't go around apologizing for being stupid because I I've got no time as it is to do anything.

That's right. I agree with him that he's stupid. This is, I'm happy to let this issue sit. I just, uh, listener, imagine this just all the time. Okay. There you go. Let's move on. No, I'm setting myself up as the Fonzie of this pod.

Well, I want to hold a meeting with teenage boys in a restroom, in a restroom with a fast food. So what? I do my business out of a toilet cubicle. Oh, right. Sorry. Yeah. I punch things when they don't work. Eee.

Eee. Thanks, Tom. Sorry about my stupidity. There you go. Should we have a look at some of the letters? Because we've had some really good correspondence now. Got it. Okay. Do you want to read the Spotify comment from Dirk? I will. I'll read the Spotify comment from Dirk here. If you haven't read it already, brace yourself. This is off its tits. Okay. Spotify comment from Dirk. Hello rural concerns. Greetings from Argentina. I live in the countryside in the province of Cordoba. Is that how you pronounce it? In the valley

of Calamuchita. Anyway, it continues. Finally finished my underground house. Yes, I live underground. Kind of like a hobbit. A cheeky Argentinian hobbit. You won't be able to find me with satellites. I have no internet connection yet. I need no bins because I have chickens so they get the bio waste. Plastic gets burned and bones of my dogs and any metal will get melted soon. Farmer Dirk out. What an existence. And a life. Yeah. I mean, there's a lot going on that I would like to drill into. I would very much like to, Dirk, if you are willing, please could you email a picture of your underground hobbit hole to christopher at a lovely time dot co dot UK.

I just want to see, I just want to see an underground, a real life hobbit hole. Yeah, me too. Also, I want to see the chickens and I don't know, I don't know if it's the way you read it Sunil, you made it sound like a treat that they get the bio waste. They get the bio waste. Sunil Dharja They get the bio waste. I think I want to know, I want to know how far the nearest shop is. And if you want to pop out for a can of Coke or anything like that, how long does it take you or you just can't do it? I want to know where your neighbors are. I want to know...

Al-Khalili I think you want to know if you can vape in that cave. Sunil Dharja And mainly can I vape in that underground at Hobbit House? Al-Khalili Have you always been a farmer? Like is it a lifelong profession of trade? Or is it something that you've got into in later life? Also, big shout out to, I didn't realize this was fine, but if it's been endorsed by the global community, guys, just let's just burn that plastic. Yeah. It's taking up too much space. Let's get it burn. Mason- I think burning plastic, industrial, you know, quantities is bad. But if we individually just burn enough plastic, we could save the world.

Jason- Because where's it going? It's just going into a landfill, maybe where someone can get some quids out of it, but other than that. Mason- Exactly. Jason- So yeah, I think, as I understand it, So yeah, I think, I think as I understand it, like people just having little fires and stuff is like, it's very much a countryside thing. Do you know what I mean? You've got something you don't want, let's just get a little fire on go, which is very, that's not a city based.

It's quite 80. I dunno. I think that's 80 city. People are, they're way more bonfires weren't they? Like the Warriors, oil drums. Yeah, with barbershop quartets singing around them. I do worry about the bones. I'm just going to say, I do worry about the bones.

The dogs get the bones. Like a dog shouldn't have a chicken bone, should it? Dogs shouldn't have chicken bones. And I think this guy knows that. So where are the bones coming from? But we don't know, he's getting chicken. Yeah, you're joining two dots that are like the chickens. I think he's vegetarian. Yeah. I think he's vegan or vegetarian. Where are the bones

coming from then, Sunil? His victims? Backpackers. Yeah. Dirk, please don't be a murderer. Please don't be a murderer, Dirk. Sorry, slightly distracted by the chap outside the house that I shouldn't really be in. Is he vaping? I don't know what he's doing. Why are you in a house that you shouldn't be in? Well, it's not my house, is it? It's my friend's house. Sorry. Anyway. We had some more correspondence directly directed at you, Chris. Do you want to read that or do you want to tee it up and senile read it? I got a message from my good friend, Claire, who I met university, who this is in response to last week's episode,

where I said with full confidence, I'm a good driver. I'm a good guy. I put a little on and Claire says, you nearly killed us pulling out of a junction on a night and stopping, questionable good driving. And then at the end of it, there's a full stop, but that wasn't there originally. And the message I added of it, there's a full stop, but that wasn't there originally. And the message I added that just so it was a proper sentence, which I think tells you exactly the sort of full stops on WhatsApp messages. Come on. You know what I mean? No, no, no, no. Don't be making excuses for Claire. Like standards are important. She's a teacher.

Do you want me to release your text messages? Don't say release. Don't use the word release. That sounds like the fucking Epstein files. Well, it's going to read like it as well, unfortunately. Yeah. Big party on this boat. Are you coming? Yeah. No, I think as we alluded to it before, Chris, you're one of the people that sends a text message per sentence. A message per sentence, right? I think I do as well. As we alluded to it before, Chris, you're one of the people that sends a text message

per sentence. A message per sentence, right? Yeah. I think I do as well. They're punchy and it's good and it's to the point, but when you have your phone on in the car, hooked up. Yeah, that pisses me off actually. Is this explaining the slow build of resentment? The absolute state of the bullying that I received when, as soon as I came on this recording, you know, is this going somewhere to explain that?

The recording that you rocked up late to holding a hot drink, yes. The one you didn't know was happening. I didn't know it was happening. I'd done all the preparation for it. He did do all the preparation. To be fair, he did do all the preparation for it. I have a question. Why did you pull out of a junction and stop? Do you remember the incident or is it lost in... I vaguely do.

I was on, I don't want to be a big head, but I was on the way, we were going to a restaurant. Michelin starred. It's not an important fact, but I think it just gives a bit of flourish to the tale, doesn't it? I think it's like, cause it's dark, not really. And like road markings being a bit confusing. I mean, Claire might be the one to tell you all the ins and outs of it. Cause she's clearly got lots of opinions. Send us a voice message, Claire.

That was a year and a half ago, Claire. Let it lie. Send us a voice message, Claire. You have the right to reply. Yes, you do. This is the legal right to reply, which is we have to honor. Right. Should I read this email? Yeah. It's all happening, isn't it?

This is what happens when you ask people to send correspondence in. We always forgot to, but right. Okay. Here we go. This is an email. The subject is, I'm sending a fucking email as per request in the episode released 1st of July 25. Okay. Good. Thank you. Brilliant. There's a level of specificity to that that already tells me we're going

to be in for a good time. First of all, 72.5 MBPS down, 17.9 MBPS up. Respectable. Medium. Now that's dealt with, I'd like to say thanks for keeping me entertained while I play games on my fully functional RGB gaming PC. Well done. How's his axe button? Very good. Chris, I'd like to tell you that your brain fascinates me. Being permanently on the verge of a total meltdown and growing leaks, you've cornered the market there, although I'm not sure what for. No? So Neil, since since you mentioned, since you mentioned Radler, I really want one, but I can't find any. Hope at some point you stop getting robbed. Maybe you should

just move out of London. What a shit hole. Interesting. These damn lemons. I'm seeing them in a lot of mainstream supermarkets now. I think I saw one in a co-op. Damn lemons. Damn lemon. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. James, you do both podcasts that I listen to religiously, brackets. Yes. Something I won't mention.

Bluh man. So without you, I'd be really quite bored. So thanks lads. Looking forward to seeing you at Manchester from Ethan in North Wales. Ethan's coming to the live show. That's good. Thank you for that. In terms of radler pointing, I always think like you need your bigger supermarkets, don't you? It's not something that you would get in a smaller outlet. Really. It's a specialist beer shop one that they're all, if you've got any sort of access to a tin, like a beer shop, a tap room or whatever it,

like there's radlers in there. But I understand that that's a big ask. Niddle, Aldi, if you've got any of those, they often have them, don't they? Yeah, they can do, yeah. But also a Waitrose, they're in Waitrose or in M&S, I believe. Delivery, deliver to your house. You might need to go to the seasonal aisle rather than the standard booze aisle. I can't imagine drinking about in the deepest November. That doesn't feel right, does it? They're fucked up over there, man.

Different temperatures all the time. Sorry, Chris, I interrupted you. I was just going to say, yeah, thanks for messaging in, in regards to my brain. That's really nice. Someone else, you know, someone, people contact me, someone's just messaged me today, very nice, but just saying that they've got ADHD. And I'm like, I don't actually officially have ADHD. I've not been tested for it, but saying I'm on these tablets. So I was like, yeah, should I get tablets? But then I'm like, I'd probably get a test first. No way. Straight at the tablets. Although it does, I do feel like I'm being slightly goaded on the fully functional RGB gaming PC. And I have decided,

I have decided because, because do you know what I struggle with? Appointments. Do you know when it's like there's a problem, but the answer, sorry? Oh, sorry. I thought that was a real question. That's good. That is good, James. That is good. That's a good bit.

I'm glad we got that repeated. I struggle with, you know, when the answer to a problem isn't clear. Like you know, when you talk to most tradesmen, like there's a million different ways to cut a cake and then they're just like, they're just like, they'll, they'll say something like, it could be this, it could be that. I hate that. I don't, my brain can't process that with this PC. It got to a place where nobody really knows what's going on with it, but

I've just decided I think it's to do with a motherboard. I'm going to take it into a PC place and say, listen, I want to upgrade the motherboard and the memory and pay money to have it rebuilt basically like that. It will come at a financial cost, but I cannot live in a world where I can't play on little steam games. I bought myself this one where there's a game where you were, you, you are managing a hotline and people are calling in because they're encountering supernatural animals. And you like, you have to, you have to advise them, you know, like you're a call center

worker on like the best course of action. That's just been sitting on my steam account and I can't play it. So I can't live like this. I'm going to take action even if it comes at a personal cost to me. Ethan, thank you for the call to action. More news soon and we'll see you in, we'll see you in Manchester on the 22nd of November. There were still some tickets available. Yes.

Ticket link will be in the show notes. Don't ever do it. Don't ever do Doctor Who on this podcast again, please. No, it wasn't actually, you know what it was thinking about it is actually an impression of John Craven from Vic and Bob's I had one half of one series on video and I used to watch that all the time. Listen, we haven't had a wrap up of St. Can's day.

No. Oh yes. That's what a great way to finish the episode. To wrap up St. Cans Day. We had some lovely cans in Kennington Park and then a St. Cans Day miracle happened and the pub we went to afterwards let us in for a lock-in, a lock-in in central London. How many other people?

Five of us. Yeah, maybe six. Do you know the person? Never been in that pub in my life. That is how much they respected us and what we were doing that day. How many pints did you do? I would say conservatively 20 pints. Fuck off, you did 20 pints. Well, I did like eight drinks. I had like four cans and then, okay, I had like seven

pints. Seven. So you're over that 10 pints is a milestone. I didn't hit 10. I don't want to, do you know what? I don't want to hit 10 ever again. 10 is not a number I want to hit again. Thank you. Not even next St. Cannes? Well, not even on St. Cannes. I think there's a limit to what I can do on St. Cannes. This fills me full of shame, but when I lived in London, I remember drinking 10 pints of

cycle at home and I remember cycling. That is not an endorsement. And I remember, I remember, do you know like in Star Trek when they went past warp factor 10 and the universe sort of like everyone started turning into like it triggered evolution and people started turning into spiders and stuff like this. It felt like that. That's not an endorsement though. Yeah, is that good?

No, not on any endorsement. It was terrible. It was terrible and I've never done it again. Don't anyone do that again. I had to do a podcast the day after St. Cannes as well. St. Cannes Boxing Day? It was absolute hell. It was so hot that day. I had to sit in a non-air-conditioned office

while two ladies shouted at me. So never ever do trusty hogs, absolute hell. It was so hot that day. I had to sit in a non-air-conditioned office while two ladies shouted at me. So never ever do trusty hogs the podcast the day after St. Thank you everybody for listening to this episode of What About Concerns. We hope you had a good time and a laugh. And just a reminder, you can get tickets to our last live show of the year. It's on the 22nd of November at Fairfield Social Club in Manchester in 2025. And tickets for that show are in the notes and the tickets are flying. Yeah, doing really well. And a quick reminder, me, Chris, I'm going to the Edinburgh Fringe with a work in progress version of my new show called Rewilding. And what's it about? I don't know. Not at all, but it's at the Monkey Barrel from the 15th to the 19th of August exclusively.

And if you want to support us exclusively, the best way is to become a Rural Concerns Patreon. For a small donation, you'll not only be supporting an independent podcast, which means that we have the power to sort of turn up whenever we want and start the recording whenever. Will Barron You'll also get weekly bonus episodes and stick around for a sneaky peek after the credits. Alistair Duggan Our artwork, who's that by? Poppy Hillstead.

The music, oh my God, it's Sam O'Leary. And our legal due diligence is by Calderick Entertainment Lawyer. We're paying a vast sum every month. Will Barron Rural Concerns is edited by Joseph, steampunk shotgun with a filament bulb and a cog burrows, and is produced by Egg Mountain for a lovely time productions. Very good. Very well done, everyone. You must have the relief of having someone to talk about on a podcast. Do you know what I mean?

When you just do, my friend's father passed away and I said, well, at least you got something for the podcast. Jesus. Were they comedians? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Not just some. Okay, good. Yeah.

It's difficult as a non-comedian, I think, to get into podcasts, especially if you're all your story is your dad died. Yeah. It's difficult as a non-comedian, I think, to get into podcasts, especially if you're all your story is your dad died. Yeah. Just be like, hi, yeah, yeah, I just work. I do change management for Curry's PC world. Yeah. I've just listened to podcasts and I've just got through bereavement. Thought I could do maybe off menu.

Bong. Like that.