Rural Concerns - Kirby, scams & sticky toffee pudding trifle

Episode Date: January 14, 2025

Sunil’s been gorging on another decadent dessert and Chris has an embarrassing confession which sends Producer James into a censorious frenzy. The lads also read a letter from a lazy engineer. The lads will be back to shielding their vulnerabilities next week. Listen up, nerds! Chris is heading on a tour of the UK with his Edinburgh Comedy Award nominated show, Easily Swayed. He’s off to Gilsland, Edinburgh, Manchester (sold out), Leeds (sold out), Leicester, Bristol (selling fast). Grab your tickets, here! Drop us an email at [e-mail] if you have a Rural Concern you’d like discussed! The best way to support this educational podcast is through Patreon. For less than five quids you can get bonus episodes and access to our Discord community, The Creamery. Click here to start supporting Rural Concerns today! Our artwork is by Poppy Hillstead and the music is by Sam O’Leary. Rural Concerns is edited by Joseph Burrows and produced by Egg Mountain for A Lovely Time Productions. All hail CEX!

Hello, it's time for another episode of Rural Concerns, a podcast where three old friends in different parts of the country chat about what it's like where they live. I'm Sunil, and I'm technically a lord. I'm James, and I'm quite posh too. Oh, well, I'm Chris, and I'm actually working class. I think it's important to clarify, just so people know. In the arts. No, no, no.

I'm the voice, and I'm basically Kez in the round. The softest hands of any man I've ever met. No, these aren't soft hands. These are calloused. Mine are calloused from holding briefcases. So, so now, we didn't get a chance to talk about it in the last session. Tell us about this trifle. Sticky toffee pudding trifle. Marks and Spencers. 15 quid. A 15 quid trifle?

Yeah. Yeah. I was searching for it in London. Couldn't find it. Went to Bath. Went to an out of town M&S. Found it. Took it home.

Looked at the best before. I had two days to eat it. Mum can't touch it. She's diabetic. So it's on me. I don't know how many calories is in this thing. don't want to know but it's big i'm telling you i haven't seen a bowl that size full of trifle in my life oh is it like a proper trifle from the past like a in a fishbowl kind of thing yeah that's it like a fishbowl trifle so i had a fishbowl worth of trifle over two from three days i went over the best before so i definitely had a

bit of off cream by the end of it, but it was still tasty. Couple of questions. You have two questions each maximum. Did mine count? Did that count? The fishbowl? Was that one of mine?

No, starting from now. My first question, do you eat, would you be someone that would eat a trifle traditionally? That's two questions. Do you eat? Would you eat a trifle traditionally? Yes, I do.

No, no, no, no. I don't understand the question. You're out the do. No, no, no. I don't understand the question. You're out of the game. No. No, no. The question is, I just want to know whether you would. You said, do you eat? And yes, I do eat.

And the second question was, do you eat a trifle traditionally? And my answer would be, I don't know what that means. James, over to you. Right. Okay. Think carefully. Do you think 15 pounds was a reasonable sum of money for the amount of trifle that you got?

And my answer to that question would be, at Christmas, yes. Would you buy it again if it was in the sale, like the post-Christmas whoopsies? My answer would be an emphatic yes. Oosh. All right, Chris. All right, sorry.

You can have your question again, Chris. Sorry. I know this is it. My arms are tired. I just want to know, I wouldn't normally, this is not a question. This is just a thought. Trifle's one of those things where- A tiramisu, yes.

It's like a tiramisu, isn't it? It's like the, if you think of tiramisu- It's a British tiramisu, isn't it? It's like the... If you think of tiramisu... It's a British tiramisu. Tiramisu and trifle as two sides of the same coin. They're the same. They're connected. They're twinned.

And the third side of that coin is banoffee pie. Banoffee pie. Would you eat... Do you like trifle? Normal trifle. That was your last question. It was the same. Do you eat one and do you like trifle. That was your last question. It was the same again.

Do you eat one and do you like trifle? It's the same two questions. But nobody answered me. Why would I buy it if I didn't like trifle? Or didn't eat. Yeah, yeah. I'm trying to gauge whether the special trifle is consistent. In terms of consistency, is it like a traditional

trifle i can't get this into a simple yes no answer this is complicated stuff so in a sticky toffee pudding trifle you're essentially talking about the elements of sticky toffee pudding layered rather than you know so you've got a layer of coffee and a layer of sort of like chocolate custard as well and then thick like big nuggets of sponge thrown throughout the topping so its connection to the traditional trifle is scant like so you could come into this well what would you say is a traditional trifle i'd say it's a layered like sponge custard and fruit layered yes so. So this is sort of like sponge, choccy custard and toffee layered.

We're essentially talking, I mean, I'd say a trifle is a deconstructed cake. Yes. Hmm. That's a good, that's a very good point. No. No, you wouldn't. Okay. No, you wouldn't say that.

I don't think I would because it's got different. That might be simplifying it too much. I think a trifle is like just a bunch of different puddings i would say i would say that about a tiramisu is a deconstructed cake no i wouldn't because i wouldn't put a shot of espresso in a cake this feels like it's something for the listeners don't it if you would like what is trifle? It's like a science textbook or a kid's science textbook about dinosaurs and stuff and geology, isn't it? It's like digging back through time.

This is the sponge era. This is the custard era. Yeah, maybe it's like top, like the hundreds and thousands. This is where pudding technology has gotten to. This is the modern day of pudding technology, hundreds and thousands. Then it's sweet cream. That came from custard.

There's some jelly. You're saying there's an evolution throughout the layers. Yeah, the bottom, basic pudding. I say there's no rhyme or reason. M&S are basically the vanguard of desserts in this country. Of all sweet treats, I'd say.

It feels like a dark version of, do you know, like the Justice League or something like that, where they've got Willy Wonka and they've caught him doing something mad on his hard drive and they've like do you know like at the end of world war ii where all these nazis scientists they moved to nasa to do the lot they feel like m&s have done that with like a willie wonka type maniac they got fucking they got oppenheimer to make a trifle.

And that intensity of watching Oppenheimer, which was... Watching my arse blow up in the toilet. Robert Downey Jr. is present and overacting in both. So what was it? It was the Justice League gets Willy Wonka and it turns out he was a Nazi. That's it. And they're like, you work for us or you go to jail for being Nazi.

Yeah. Anyway, so that's Trifle Gate. Zach Snyder's pudding Oppenheimer. Right. So the reason I've summoned you both here today is something's happened to me that I just need to run over. Specifically, this is for both of you really,

but I thought it does specifically dip into some specific area of expertise. And I don't want to really particularly talk about this because it's embarrassing. And as you know, in this podcast, I come from a high status position so it's very difficult for me to admit fault case in point i have not apologized to the people of darlington and never will so it's tough for me to be like i'm an idiot that's done a daft thing yeah okay so you're being vulnerable that's what you say i'm being

vulnerable that's what i'm saying that's what i'm. That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm signalling. Wait a minute, James. That's a special sting too. We're being vulnerable. Yeah? Cotton Eye Joe or something. Cotton Eye Joe, do that please, James. We're being vulnerable.

Cotton Eye Joe or something. Cotton Eye Joe, do that please, James. I got internet scammed over the festive period. What happened? It's bad. It's very bad because it's very avoidable and it's very stupid and it's really rocked me. A tech savvy, not an early adopter, but, you know, like we're the kids that are good at technology,

but now we're old and all of a sudden I'm getting internet scammed. It rocked me to my core. We are in the firing line aren't we we're in the firing line all of a sudden because they articulate it in a way that tricked me but honestly what i'm about to tell you is successively just many many many red flags that i should have seen but wasn't thinking properly and didn't do any checks. This is very exciting. Go on. First,

first wave flag. This took place on Facebook marketplace. Oh, for God's sake. Yeah. Yeah. Were you shopping for something or selling something? I was shopping for something.

I was searching for, basically this goes back to, I was having a conversation with my good friend, Jack, who would basically give me a really hard sell on the history of, have you heard of the video game series Kirby? Yeah, Kirby's Dream World and stuff. Kirby's Dream World, the little pink blob that Nintendo made

where he can suck things in and have the power of those things. You know, it's like, and basically, me and my friend were talking about, me and Jack were talking about the Nintendo Switch 2 because someone's leaking some things. And we got onto Kirby, I can't remember how, and there's a game called Kirby and the Forgotten, the Forgotten Realm or World or something like that. And basically, apparently within Nintendo lore,

apparently when Nintendo came to America in the past, in the 80s or 90s or whatever, they fell foul of some sort of IP lawsuit. So they hired this American, a bald guy called like Jack Kirby or something like that, and basically got them off the hook. And is bald relevant? Well, yeah, because basically he got them off the hook. And is Bald relevant? Well, yeah, because he looks like Kirby does the character.

And out of respect to this guy, they made this character Kirby. And you're like, that's already so interesting and so bizarre. And now apparently what they do with the Kirby games, they would be used as early, early prototype for Mario games. Obviously the leading, the leading light of the franchise. Do you know what I mean? So the Mario games don't mess around, but basically if what they're working on is too niche or weird, it becomes a Kirby game.

And I was like, this is so cool. I mean, I want to play this game immediately. So I went onto Facebook marketplace and searched for Kirby. Apparently it's full of secrets and I like love hunting for secrets. There you go. They call me the Bulldog. Let's get you on the pyramids. But when we, when we like doing a game, we're all playing together. I'll be just like off searching in nooks and crannies for stuff, you know?

So it does annoy people. Anyway, I looked at it, I found it, and it was, oh God, this is so stupid. Right. It was, it was located, geolocated to Newcastle, which is 40 minutes away from me. Yeah. It was a guy called, wait a minute, let me see. So this guy was selling a Kirby game, was it? Yeah.

Did you buy a doll's House Kirby game? Yeah, it's so small. Yeah, I mean, I wish. So, wait a minute, let's do the transactions. Just before anyone emails in, it was John Kirby. We all know that Jack Kirby is the Marvel slash DC comic book person. I could see your little face going. Just because otherwise

people will, they'll get involved. First off, first red flag that should have signalled it was that this person who was selling it didn't have an icon as their image. Just a neutral. It's so stupid to say a lot of course that of course

that's a huge red flag readers the listing readers the listing i need to know what this this person said i don't know if i've kept the listing i can remember the gist of it though so basically it was like games very simple games available can post if needed i think it was that that tricked me and was like, oh, I'll have it posted because Newcastle's a ways away because it's like, oh, I could pick it up in Newcastle is what it's read like. And the fact that it's geolocated to Newcastle, which now I'm coming to terms with the fact that

this person's not in Newcastle at all. But it said as a description, if you can see the game, it is available. Don't ask if it's available which is an important bit of information for later so basically its name was obviously no icon so basically i was like i wanted this game in 20 and this is 22 pounds is what i've been done for which after it happened i mean we ain't got we're not we're in between the festive period in between working and not working so we're watching every penny it's tight so every penny counts but i said to nicola i said i've done

something really stupid and she was like what so i've been scammed and actually you know like her entire body language you know like, like, like frosted over. Yeah. Cause she thought it was thousands, not 22 quid. Yeah, exactly. So you have to, you have to tone it down when you say you've been scammed. Yeah. She's like, in general, she's not happy with my reactions to stuff, you know?

Cause I'm like, Oh my God. Cause I'm often like, you know, I have my phone. I'm like, Oh my God. Because I'm often like, you know, I have my phone. I'm like, oh my God. She's like, what? I'm like, they've released a trailer for James Gunn's Superman. Do you know what I mean? So she's like. Right.

So red flag is that this person doesn't have an icon. Then I contacted him and was like, oh, I like that. Can you post it? And he was like, yeah, but 20 quid isn't enough for postage. So I was like, I like that. Can you post it? And he were like, yeah, but 20, 20 quid isn't enough for postage. So I was like, what's that? And then he was like £2.50. And now that's not what it costs to send something tracked in the UK. And that was another red flag. You know, I think, I think sending a package tracked is about now £4 odd, I believe. It's definitely not £2.50.

So I was like, right, already. So, but then, but I'm like blinded by just the excitement of wanting to play this Kirby game on my Nintendo Switch. So I'm like, yeah. So I like, basically it's like, I'll send me the money on PayPal. And this is another big red flag, which I'm embarrassed about. But could you send it as friends and family as opposed to it being a business thing to avoid charges? It was so stupid. Do you understand?

Hang on. Repeat that. That doesn't make sense. What is it? Right. So when you send a payment on PayPal, you can basically select what type of payment it is. And if it was, I'm paying for a service or a business type thing it comes with legal protections okay right oh i see okay yeah he's got you to bypass

your own protection yeah he got me to seed all my all my sort of like understood understood power in the relationship legally good on him he's already you. He's got me so much. And now I can't. I've tried to nip the, you know, like it's sitting in the pending. Because I got it on PayPal via my, I got it on my NatWest card via PayPal. So basically I'm trying to stop it at both, at both points. You know, like, please, can we stop it? Can we, it's pending in that West card.

And they couldn't do anything about it. And then when you're telling people, you just, like, please, can we stop it? It's pending in that West Coast. And they couldn't do anything about it. And then when you're telling people, you just sound like, I sound like some old, I just sound like a moron. So it's like a deeply humbling experience for me. And it is, it's stuff that, why have I done? I don't understand why I've done any of this stuff in this process because I'm not, I am savvy to this stuff. I'm not an idiot.

It's all right. It's all not an idiot. It's all right. It's all right, Chris. It's all right. We'll be the judge of that. I already am. I sent the payment and then I was like, with my addressing as to where to send it to, and then I messaged saying, well, I said,

I know it's a bit of a mad time with it being particular, but when roughly will it be sent? When can I have my game? Yeah. Yeah. For want of a better word. I left the conversation. Yeah.

Immediately. And that's when I knew. That's when it became crystal clear. And I tell you what, there was another point where when I paid 22.50, he was like, I don't know if the listing's been updated. This is when I really knew it was bad. It was like, £20 for this game is a good deal, but not like an outlandish deal. Do you know what I mean?

As in, I think if you paid like £28 for it or £30 a summer, then you'd be like, okay, that's what it is worth. So £20 is like a good deal. But largely, sometimes with Facebook Marketplace, this is just people selling stuff. And basically, it's like just people that might not necessarily be up on the market value of a Nintendo Switch game. Very naive on my part. I'm like, I've got a good deal. But then basically, because I paid, he tried to upsell the payment and be like,

for 40 quid, you could get free games. And that's when I knew that this was bad. Do you know what I mean? Because that Nintendo Switch games are like, they don't lower the cost in the same way that they lower PC game prices. Especially not Nintendo-owned ones, yeah. No, Nintendo-owned ones, don't lower the cost in the same way that they'll lower pc game prices especially not nintendo own ones yeah no nintendo own ones they're basically it's like buying fucking gold bullion it retains

its value indefinitely i could pass these games down to my grandchild and they will still they will still cost the set they will they will make a profit you know they'll be like these are this is a mad amount of stuff going on so that's when he's trying to get me to get free games for 40 quid. I'm like, oh no, you've been an idiot. So then I just approached it with nicety and was just like, so when can I have my game? Left the conversation, blocked me. Blocked you?

I can't see him. They're still on there. No recourse via Facebook's, like, of course facebook's entire business yes because you you yeah yeah you bypassed it i bypassed it facebook's entire model though is based around not accepting responsibility for they are a platform people put stuff on the platform that's between you and the person who's put on the platform that's how they tackle it but there were protections but you bypassed i don think Facebook Marketplace has a function to buy directly through Facebook Marketplace. I think it's a bartering thing that's set up. A lot of it is geographically located stuff into it. So

if someone was selling a chest of drawers in Carlisle, Facebook connects us, but I would drive to Carlisle and give that person 40 quid and take receipts of it there. They're not a commerce platform. It's like connecting two people to do a deal independently. James, you're making a lot of faces that I believe there's some judgment going on. No, not at all. I know the thrill of finding a video game that you want and a deal and it seems like a good deal. I've seen someone

buy a picture of some batteries online by accident. Can I ask, did this guy have feedback? Did they give feedback for sellers on there? Or is it just a random person's account? I'm blocked now. I can't see them. It's like they're invisible. You must have checked before you bought it. No.

Well, you didn't check at all what the feedback was? I didn't check the process at all. Right. So this is the first time you bought something on Marketplace, is it? Yeah. I think maybe me and Nicola might have got some local, you know, like that. But it was very much, like I said, dealt with in person. I would have thought it's pretty much assumed that Facebook Marketplace is a hive of villainy anyway, isn't it?

Of course it is, and it should have been to me. Like, I'm not naive. You're not naive. You just got excited, Chris. This is impulse. This is why I don't do anything based on impulse. I don't think you're a particularly impulsive person, but I just think you got excited about a little game. I call it a little game.

It's like an ad. 22 quid. You can charge that. You can put that down to experience. I know. It's just like when money's tight and stuff, and you're like, of course. I've been scammed 22 quid for a game.

The kid's got no food for a month. Sorry. You're not that tight for money. No, no. We're not that tight for money. No, no. We're not like at the immediate bread line, but there's definitely chats about moving money around and stuff. And it's Christmas, so I just got too excited. So I did that.

So can I find this guy on my Facebook account? I believe that you might be able to, and I'm going to give everybody their email address. Aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye. This is my first login for like three years. James? Aye. Right, what's his name? Can I tell you what I did? I got

Nicola to check it out, because I was trying to figure out, like, what had happened where he just... This is where I figured out he was invisible, yeah? Because I'd been blocked which feels so cheeky but i did a thing i was like you know like a raptor testing the fence yeah where i remembered from the description of the game that he said don't ask if it's available if you can see it so i said to nicola i said can you search for this and can you email the seller and say is this game still available yeah and she

got like a really she got a really shirty message back that was like of course it's available and then she was instantly blocked and then i was like why are you asking if it's available when it says it's available you know blocked so i'm like i've yeah so I've got that, but then I've messaged my friend. Basically, I think, what can I do for revenge? Can you just tell me his name so I can look him up? B, obviously. D, which is

B, A, I. B, B. Ah. James, can I read the email address? I think we probably won't put it. I'm a scammer. It is a scammer. I don't like it. But you might be doing all this, and then this episode comes out, and then through the post, a battered Switch game comes.

Have you given it five working days? I think I've been left. The minute I asked when I was going to get my game, he left the conversation and blocked me. So I sort of. The person clearly hasn't got any patience. This is more vigilante justice, Chris. I sent a screenshot of his face to the WhatsApp group.

Were you scammed by the child in the foreground or the one in the background? It's mad. It is mad to me. You would buy anything from a man that looks like that. But I didn't see this picture. I don't know why you've got this one. But this be a different person a different person called gaming yeah but there was no picture on mine so maybe what was the product you searched for a marketplace what

there is a youtube yeah james what we will not do is lead a witch hunt against honest content creators on youtube They are a group of people that deserve peace. Right, so this person could, right, so searched it. Can you change your settings on Facebook Marketplace to Newcastle upon time? And then search for Kirby and the Forgotten Land.

There's a lot for sale. There's loads for sale. They've all got the same background, these games. They're just on people's kitchen tables. Yeah, but it's all the same kitchen table, isn't it? No. No. But is it the one where, have you found it, Forgotten Land? No, but there's none available in Newcastle within two kilometres.

Okay, so he might have gone to ground. He might have scammed me. He's taken that £22.50 and he's fleed he might have scammed me he's fled Newcastle scammed me got wind of this podcast

oh and then he's like we've got to move to that we've got to get out of here we've got to go to the sewers we've got to live in the net we've got to

live underground scamming you is like scamming a mafia Don you don't want to be around for the aftermath do you but really what I would like to do is just get everybody in the world

to message this kid and say is this still available but I fully appreciate that it's as angry as I am with the kid what I really am is embarrassed myself and it's

do you think the person you've found Sunil is the same person are they saying don't no I think it's not. It must be someone else entirely. I don't, yeah. If anyone is going to be doing any vigilante justice,

which we do not condone, make sure you're doing it on the right person. Always, if you're going to be a vigilante, make sure you get the right person and batter them instead of the wrong person. Have either of you two been scammed? I think I bought some trainers, which never happened. That's expensive, isn't it?

Oh, but maybe not if you're getting them on a cheapy site. Yeah, it speaks to just the general, we live in this age of, you know, it's like we're basically at the tail end of the neoliberal project. And the general vibe for the last 40 years has been do whatever you want and fuck the consequences which i believe we talked about before so it's where we are now like this is what happens when no guide like when no guides when there's no restrictions or moderation put in place because you're like anti-regulation but you're like you

know what sometimes having like rules and protections and like working practices put in place is good because it stops is i do it's more it's i think it's a bit it's worse than that in a way because you're like we're expected to know so much more about transactions and money and stuff than we ever were like all the stuff we have to keep in our heads like the price of gas and electricity how to do a pension change your savings rates every few months everything is like given sold to us as like the illusion of choice we're like oh you've got so much more choice now so yeah but now i've got a million more decisions to make and everyone is trying to fuck me i need to be. Yeah, you have to be an expert on everything. Or you have to religiously read the money-saving expert email.

Otherwise, some corporation is trying to take every penny they can from you. The interesting thing is, like, why do you have to think so deeply about every step of what should be a normal transaction? Yes, yeah, yeah, you're right. But then this is, you know, the equivalent of someone, it doesn't look, the thing is, it doesn't look like it, but it's someone coming up to you in a pub and going, do you want to buy a video game?

Yes. But it doesn't look like it because it's also online. Why not entirely shun the secondhand market and buy directly from the corporation itself, which is what they want. Or go the sex shop, as in C-E-X. This is it. Whenever you are in doubt in your life,

I've disrespected, if we take it into a religious, if C-E-X is, I've devoted my life, I pray to C-E-X, I left the church and I need to apologise. I'm going to, I mean, this is the young people running the till at C-E-X in Carlisle are going to get their full apology from me. They're not going to know what to do with it. I'm going to say, I love CX. I love it.

And I'll be back and I'll never, I'm going to tell you exactly. I am going to buy, because now I've been thwarted. I need to play this Kirby Forgotten Realm game. Maybe I could get that for my birthday. From who? Not us? No, not you guys. We're not getting you shit.

Right. Should we read a letter? Evening, lads. Okay, this is how it starts. It starts, evening, lads. Just thought I'd drop a message of gratitude or possibly a scornful one. I'll let you decide.

As a man in his early 40s, I'm currently studying for a degree in engineering to get the paperwork to supplement the 20 years experience 20 plus years experience i have in the sector while working a full-time job and with other commitments bloody hell i love this because it's instantly a gripe it's instantly a moan we get the tone now okay here we go now for one of the modules of the course, I had a couple of very wordy assignments due prior to the Christmas break. Being busy with work and other things,

I left it until this week to fully research, write and submit. At about hour 25 into writing and researching these reports, and I started to lose all hope in finishing as well as my recoverable levels of sanity. Then, rural concerns started playing on my speaker. I listened for the next 20 plus hours non-stop until submission of my reports. Here are my headline memories.

Gin can vigilante vengeance. Ineligible sports day competitor smear campaign. Radlers. Fringe fears and successes. Shirtless attempts at wife seduction. That's when James is walking around topless trying to break my marriage up. Amazing

choose-your-own-path adventures. Don't remember any of those. Joining the seedy underground veg-growing subculture. Copious amounts of muting and editing are required when Chris is on a sugar rush hyper or just excited after seeing something vaguely amusing plus many more ads had just been scammed by a child shit now realize i should have probably proofread the reports one more time before

submission have a great christmas and new year's break all chris from the south wales valleys spotify review of five out of five given not capable of checking internet speeds due to ineptitude and or being awake for almost two days p.s this is the last thing i'm doing before finally going to bed lovely what an interesting it's i mean it's nice to be told that you're just doing a great job but i'm worried about what grade he'll be getting for this. Also, this podcast believes that you should always pursue professional certification at every juncture. I think we... Even if you feel annoyed at having to do it. Yeah.

Even if you're annoyed because... Does it say what field he does work in? Engineering. Engineering. But it does seem like he just needs a pass. But has he just been walking around with no certificates and stuff? Just like what? What, just building bridges freelance?

Yeah. Building bridges. Is this Brad Pitt? He's like an amateur, what's it called, architect in his spare time. Is he an amateur architect? Yeah, he's big into architecture and he just does his own stuff. And it's like, I wouldn't go in a building built by him

he probably just likes mid-century modern doesn't he which is fairly simple to do isn't it bit of wood bit of glass stick a tree in the middle

this just falls down to the category of like celebrities doing do you know like Jim Carrey's doing a like a a painting exhibition and you're like

yeah that's that's fine. It's something to do for fun, isn't it? But it doesn't mean – I bet, basically what I'm trying to say is, I bet Brad Pitt's a totally fine amateur architect, but I bet I wouldn't be happy with pointing, do you know what I mean, on his new build houses. I've had a plumber in because we had a new friend.

He's from Lancashire, which nobody's perfect. But we lost his heating for a couple of days because we had a leak in the central heating system. And he was saying, he's saying, I've got a really good boiler, but it needs a service. And he can do that service, but he's sort of retiring, so he hasn't applied to be able to give the COGI certification out. Do you know what I mean?

So he's like, I can physically do it, but you need to get somebody in so that you can get the certificate, which is the important bit. Yes. So this feels like that situation is saying, I'm sure this guy's a good i'm sure chris is a brilliant engineer yeah but you need the certificate otherwise no one no one's going to take you seriously yeah i mean you also need to take the certificate seriously as well which it doesn't seem like you're doing is is he asking to put you to pay on friends and family? Oh, he just needs a little bit of money to get to his first certificate. No, Chris, we appreciate you listening to the podcast, but universally we have agreed that you need to pull your socks up a little bit

and not listen to 20 hours of a podcast when you should be studying, studying like Isambard, Kingdon, Brunel and stuff. 20 plus hours in. And then he started on the, on the rural concerns, Megamix. He did a Megamix. Yeah.

Just, so basically what we're saying is if you encounter an engineer called Chris, do not hire him. And if he looks a bit tired if he's too tired he needs a rest and he needs to take it seriously oh i'm glad we managed to sort that issue out nice one do we have time for a second email i don't know if we do you think we do yeah okay let's do it quickly then good evening lads long time listener first time correspondent huge fan 141.2 download

slash 26.2 upload not fucking bad Ian communal garden apologies for bringing yet another rubbish based story to the table but I couldn't help but think of you

as I followed this story from my local area turns out the council takes a firm stance on not dumping animals at the tip but it seems like the police only really give a shit if it's a horse or at least not a deer all the best and a merry christmas to

you okay here's the link let's have a look at this link from the from the bbc yeah the headline horse horse left at tip was actually deer. Police, hyphen police. Yeah, a dead horse that was dumped at a waste recycling centre was actually a deer, North Yorkshire police have said. Alerted officers to what was thought to be a carcass of a horse or a pony. Oh, following further investigations, the animal remains have been identified as a deer. We are no longer appealing for information.

Oh, why do you think that is? Christmas venmas venison oh because it could have just walked in but i think broadly what's going on here is that basically deer deer are so beautiful we have lots of them near us and even in five years of living up here every time i see one it feels like magic i love seeing every time it's like takes my breath away but i believe that they are technically considered to be a pest you know like like yeah yeah because they they sort of they don't have a predator they rampant they destroy a lot of farmland and stuff like this so they are a consideration whereas a horse is a creature that isn't allowed to roam free which means that it's been dumped i don't know i don't know but that feels broadly like

it might be heading in the right direction you know yeah i just went to google our dear pests and my first suggested google you know the you know how you get the search suggested questions. Yeah. My first one is, are deer silly? Are they? Don't know. Deer are fairly intelligent creatures who do stupid things on highways. AI overview, deer are not silly. That's not, they're not silly. They just perhaps haven't, they haven't evolved the ability to fully interpret the UK's motorway system.

That's not, that don't make them silly. That makes us a parasite. According to the British Deer Society, deer should not be classed as pests. They would say that, wouldn't they? Yeah, that's probably a website made by deers. Yeah. Who's big deer money? Oh yeah.

Okay. So that's, yeah. So I talked slightly half-cocked there. But when has that ever stopped us from that? It would seem that, yeah, the police care more about horses than deers. So if deers aren't pests, then we've got a little mystery on his hands as to why. Do you know what?

This could probably be solved by reading the full article, but we won't do it. We'll figure it out. You know what? I don't think it could because that is the full article. But it means they don't care because it's like basically just a rat dying in a bin, isn't it? Maybe it was a bad deer known to the police.

Yeah, maybe it had one of those little Hitler moustaches. Yeah, maybe. Someone to think about maybe maybe it put it listed Nintendo Switch games

that it never had any intention of posting to the person where they didn't even own it don't email to ask if it's present because it's quite difficult for me to email back because I'm a D because I've got hooves

it's got hooves this is a pain. There you go. And that is very much a full circle episode. That's a level of writing. That is master storytelling, Chris. What someone could say. Someone could say, not me.

I just sell tickets to my UK debut tour, which is in February. 2025. Unless you're a scanner or a deer. Thank you for listening to yet another episode of Rural Concerns. Right. Here's some stuff that you can do to help us and be nice. One, if you like this podcast, you can leave a review on Spotify, Apple Podcasts. It has to be a five-star review. If it's not a five-star review, something bad will happen.

What will happen, James? You'll start spamming their email address saying they're a scammer. We'll get you. We'll get you on the scammer's law. There's that. Other things that you could do is email us at

christopher at alovelytime.co.uk, which is an email address where we sort of like get us letters and we'll talk about them on an episode. But if you really want to support us, you can go the extra mile by going to patreon.com forward slash rural concerns and on their price of a pint every two weeks we put out some bonus episodes and there's like a chat group on discord that you get access to which is a real big laugh they're calling themselves the creamers i had nothing to do with that.

And they've been, they're a cultured bunch. They've been having good Christmases. They've watched, they've watched arts, cinema, Christmas cocktails. Do you know, it's quite a decadent group. Whereas me, I often feel like, because I'm working class, I often feel like a sort of, you know, like I'm masquerading there because I've got a bottle of Advocat and I need to sell it, you know? Yeah, it's better when

the script tend to be tighter, don't they? Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah. This is, this is it's like jazz, man. It's just, we're feeling it. This is fun. Rural Concerns was edited by Joseph Eject USB Safely Burrows. Our music is by Sam O'Leary and our artwork is by Poppy Hilstead.

You see, if you're reading it just off a page, you can't always get sentences. You're just making it up on the fly. It's like basically what someone's done there. Someone's reading. It's made sense concisely. Rural Concerns is produced by Egg Mountain for a lovely time productions. Night, everyone.

Bye. Bye. In a way, the time when people were accountable for their actions is the real forgotten land. Damn. He took his glasses off for that. Shame the video cut out briefly. Bong.

Like that.