Rural Concerns - Mind moles, legitimate botox & an announcement

Episode Date: December 2, 2025

The lads reunite after a triumphant live show in Manchester to discuss cosmetic surgery and how big the human tongue is.   Rural Concerns is taking a break! Something cool has popped up which means we’ll be unable to record new episodes. We’ll share more information when we can but for now; Merry Christmas, happy New Year and may all your leeks be competition-grade!   Our artwork is by Poppy Hillstead, our music is by Sam O’Leary and our legal due diligence is by Cal Derrick, Entertainment Lawyer. This episode of Rural Concerns was edited and by Egg Mountain for A Lovely Time Productions.

But, Sunil, does you want to start right, tell it is about your... Yeah, look at that. It's going to be a scar, there's going to be a scar there, just under my eye. You've got a little plaster like the Rappanelli. That's right. Because your brother's in prison. Yeah. No, what it was was obviously I was out there

sort of protecting my country and that and got into a bit of a had a mole removed. You got into a bit of a bit of a mole removed. A bit of a bit of a mole removed. Just put it out there protecting my country fighting for what's right. No, I had it removed and they showed it to me in a little jar.

They said, there it is. We're going to send it off to the lab and make sure it's nothing dangerous because I was out there fighting. Oh, to protect the country? To protect the country, they're making sure my mole is not dangerous. Oh, that's good of them, actually.

That's really good. I'm really glad that they're doing that, and it's definitely not just a purely cosmetic procedure for vanity reasons. It has to be taken out of yourself, and just to make sure it's not dangerous. What does the, under the surface bit of it look like? It keeps growing back. It's like, no, no, when it was in the jar,

was it just the mole, or does it have, like, a root? Does it have tendrils legs? It has a little bit of a root. That's disgusting. Then I smelt burning flesh, and they were cauterising my massive wound from fighting for my country. So they,

so like innately, there's always going to be, mole going to just be keep growing back. That's right. Yeah, mole just going to be keep growing back. Inately. Inately.

But it's like under the skin, it's like a mushroom into, it's like a mushroom going out of your face. No, I'm not going into mushrooms again. We spent a year on mushrooms, first year of this podcast, never again. And the second. It's been two years.

It's been two years. It's like an iceberg, let's say that. It's like an iceberg, it's it? Do you think that the mole is, how do I put this delicately? Like the physical manifestation of a tortured mind? Like guilt, is it? You think it's a physical manifestation of guilt and shame?

Why don't you call it a beauty spot like everyone else does? A mole is a mole. You can't read into a mole. A mole can't be grown by the mind or what's happening in the mole. doesn't affect mould, does it? Moll just does what Moll wants. But officially this does mean that you are, as far as I'm aware,

the first member of this podcast to openly admit to having cosmetic surgery for purely vanity-based reasons. Yeah, I guess so. But Moll does have to be removed. James, have you had any work done? No, I haven't. He's smiling. I don't know.

He's smiling, but you can't tell because he's got so much work down. He's smiling and moving his face, but none of his reactions are showing on his face. Basically, we had such a good time at the live show that I think James has pumped all that money into, he went into... Into my own face. He went into the Arndale Centre

and got cheap knockoff fillers injected into his face. Yeah, I've got a taste for it. I've got a taste for the limelight. It was a good show, wasn't it? It was. I had a brilliant time. I won't lie. to run up to it when I would say fully bonko.

Yeah, but that seems standard for you. Yeah, because I'm kind of an all or nothing guy. Like, as I was doing it, you know, it does enter my head. Imagine if it had been chipping away at this for three months. Yeah, imagine if there were some sort of documented record of other people saying that to you. I did do the protests for writing this that. we discussed after the last one. I did do the wire frame.

I'm talking specifically the second half of the show, which was a decide-your-own destiny adventure. Dude. Ad-dude. I wrote out the framework to that. And then when that was complete, I didn't. I started doing that and then I ran out of time,

so I just wrote it fully. You sort of did it on Thursday before the show on Saturday. Which was too intense. Which is too intense. But it was great fun. It worked. It was a great fun. right laugh.

So do you have any thoughts about the show? Heavily redacted there's actually a lot of slander in the show that we've redacted there's a lot of slander in the decide your own destiny

that we should also retract. Why are you looking puzzled, Chris? You wrote a 38 page choose your own... Decide your own destiny. I think there was a point in the show where you were like don't you care about my feelings

and I'm like, I care about you so much look what I've written you a full book Some ill. But for the listeners, he's basically written age, decide you're in destiny to convince me that I'm autistic. Despite the fact that I think you are the most diagnosed person on this podcast, aren't you? By people that listen to this podcast.

freelance diagnoses. No, to be absolutely fair to you two. Yeah. I don't think either of you two have been diagnosed. Exactly. No. I think James is good at. masking and his condition. You can't just throw that around.

You can't just chuck around and mask it. James is just pure charm on this podcast. But when he's trying to figure some out in the background, you're like, okay, he's got, we need to make a special consideration for James's brain and Sunil's emotions. There's nothing, no consideration. I'm the one that's been brave enough to admit that I've been fighting for my country and had my morning.

That's true. I'm not brave enough to admit what cosmetic surgery I've ever had. fighting for my country. Not sure if it counts as cosmetic. But you know how Matthew McGonnery stopped, took a lot of courage to stop doing rom-coms, didn't he? He was a rom-com guy, and he sort of took a hard pivot out.

And a lot of that was him sitting there going, I'm not doing this anymore, I want to do more interested stuff. Yeah, I watched that Graham Norton. Yeah, exactly. It's that, which he's told on multiple... Grame Nortons. Multiple Graeme Nortons.

But what I'm saying is, so now, yeah you if you'd have kept the mole you'd have just been going out of wanting you to be making a decision not to be necessarily in the commercially viable advert sector and pivot hardcore into mole act grind house mole act grind house mole man no but the mole if you you don't remember this but the mole only grew back in the last year since you've been since this podcast yeah it's got nothing to mental health before you start chucking that around the mole is a mind bowl. No, it's not a mind mole.

Thank you to everybody who came to the live show. Yes, yes. In Manchester it was one of those moments, you know why, like I say, I think like pulling that show together in the week, do you ever get times in your life where your mind

feels like it's tissue paper and there's someone's with a wet finger has ran the wet finger down the middle of the tissue paper and that you feel that with just the slightest bit of effort, it would tear fully down the middle. That's how my mind felt. Do you understand that feeling? If you do understand that feeling, I do understand that feeling.

I've had it a few times in my life. There's been a couple of times, I think I spoke about this before, but there's been a couple of times in my life where I felt like I've been standing on the edge of madness. Do you know what I mean? And you're like, oh, and I remember distinctly, I had a really mad time once when I was, I spent a summer in between uni working in a, like in a factory, you know where you get cake mixes? And I was packing fudge bits into like pre-packed cake mixes and they sit on a conveyor belt. And I remember at that time, I thought, if I take one more step over this line, I'm mad forever. Do you know what I mean?

Yeah. And I've always like come back over the line just about. I mean, no thoughts on that. So, I mean, round and about, thanks everyone for coming to the live show. No, no, that's what I'm saying. But when we got to the show, it's like that moment where the relief of doing it and you're like realizing what a community of 40-something odd boss

with a mast and it was magical. It was a magical time. I think we had that thing because there was so much prep put into, like, supporting bits, like making little videos and designs and stuff like that. I don't think any of us had truly really grasped what we were going to say the moment the show started. As usual. And we sat down and we're like, right.

Or now. Thank you. Welcome. Yeah, we definitely over-delivered, I think. We definitely have to show. I mean, let's be cautious. This may be, yeah, we definitely did the best live podcast show that's ever been done. It has been said.

about that show. Yeah, it has been said. I bought, sort of, you recommended, I bought basically bought a big power bank. Yes. It's too big. Yeah, I know. I don't know why he bought it.

You just straight away he bought it. You didn't even ask me. I did ask you, but you were working. You weren't available. You gave him three minutes to reply. It's 25,000. Is it like a laptop charger? Is it like a laptop charger?

It's a laptop charger. Could you go on a good camping holiday with it? Yes. Oh, yeah, yeah. It's the same heft as a car battery. And I'm looking at around. It's heavy. The only thing is I've got another one, the 10,000.

Yeah, that's perfect. Yeah, that's perfect. That's been misplaced. So now what I've got is, as Sonnell, you sort of goaded me the other day when I said, I've lost my power bank and you said, you only have one. So now I've got two. So when the other one eventually shows up, It just shows how fragile men's mental health is, isn't it?

They're getting bits cut off them. They're buying giant batteries. James's face is full of Botops. But now I'm going to have a dual setup. I'll have a sleek, smaller one for when I'm in the, when I'm pop it into the city for the day. I'll have the Meteor one when I'm doing something a bit big and mad. And it's got two little leads I can charge my phone and my laptop at the same time.

Because when you're having to sit in a cafe in a city centre for an afternoon and you're scared of the provincial staff you're too scared to ask them if you can use a pug socket this is a perfect like fix around. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's basically to avoid

having to talk to people and make connections. Via a USBC connection. That is nice actually. So, thank you very much. Summary, summary. So that's had cosmetic surgery. Thank you very much to everybody who came to the live show.

It was a magical time and none of us will forget it. None of us will forget it as long as we live. Good God, no. And who made that possible, the audience. But we have a bit of news, don't we? Yes. We do. Which is why we've communed.

That's a word. Basically, we're going to take a break. Yeah. We're going to take a break. Not from each other. No. At WhatsApp group, still going to be running hot with the sort of stuff that Sunil sends.

No. But I do get to mute it for a couple of weeks. Yeah, this is sort of like a reverse divorce. It's not, we're not splitting up. We're just leaving you, the children, the listeners, on your own for a bit. Yes, that's exactly it. You know, like when your parents went on holiday without you. James, if anyone does get it, that reference, it's our listenership.

no basically what's happened days we've been doing this show once a week for two years moving often we've had such a good time doing it but often moving lightly heaven and earth in the background to get to the recordings because we all live very different slightly mad lives so it's just been we've just been doing that but unfortunately and I'm so impressed that we've kept up that pace but we're hitting a schedule-based hurdle that we cannot find our way around, unfortunately. So it's insurmountable. So we're going to have a little pause on doing the weekly podcast.

And we'll come back with some. There'll be some news. We can't really talk about exactly the nature of what's going on at the minute. We should be able to talk about that in the new year. For now, on the Patreon, we're going to be putting out some videos of recent episodes. Maybe a little Christmas bonus. We cannot say. We need to get it through Calderick and evidently Sunil as well.

But that will be on the Patreon and then where there'll be hopefully a little announcement in the new year and things will become clearer then. But thank you very much for our support in us so far in all our hours. endeavors. Basically, we've all got something quite exciting pop-up, you know, Sunil's in, basically they're making a new version of, they're making a new version of Weekend at Bernies. And they saw Sonnell in a recent Hollywood film and said, this guy, he really, really, it does have the vibe of being dead. It does, on camera, it looks totally dead. So they've got a new, Sunil's in Weekend at Bernie's. American dead, though.

That's the important thing. American accent. American accent. But dead. A full American accent dead. Weekend at Bernie's reboot. Tell them you're going to prison or something, Chris, please. No, that's what I've done.

Oh. At the live show, somebody was hassling me. Don't you remember this? At the live show, somebody was hassling me and hassling all of our listeners and kept putting his hand in everyone's bags. Not getting old, but just putting his hand in bag and going, what are you going to do about that, like a bully,

like a Manchester bully. And I said, leave my friends and leave all these listeners alone because they're all good people. Yeah. Did you say that? I said that to him.

He won't listen. He said, I'll have you outside. Went out. Karate chopped in. So, no, his fucking Ed came off.

And he apparently landed all the way in France. So I've got to go, I'm doing a, I'm doing a stretch in the new year. I think they should be putting the purple heart on me. Yeah. And James has done such a good job.

taking salacious bits out of this that he's taken up a new job as the Director General of the BBC. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But that won't interfere with the show, but I've got to go to Turkey and have my face completely remasped as someone else. Oh, great, yeah.

I think we're you, it's a case of draining out the Botox Aziz. Yeah. And re-drenate out. Getting legitimate Botox put in. It's a legitimate Turkish Botox. But around you. your head like that shark in formaldehyde.

Yeah. What shark infamalda? The one that's split down the middle. Damien Hearst, the dead one. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Imagine that. That'd be quite interesting, wouldn't it? Just like, instead of having Botox in you,

just have it on a bag on your... I don't know what I'm talking about. Oh. So when we're in Amsterdam... Deplestination? The plastonation, we saw a guy's head in suspended like that. Yeah.

Cut with a laser or something like that But basically cut like that, like that, that middle and his head split open. So you could see basically a cross-section of a human head And it was absolutely sensational. So again, round and about, thank you very much for your support. Let's keep it vaguely on topic. Yeah.

Final thought, guys, we want to leave you with this. One, have a good Christmas too. Do you know what? You're fucking how mad your tongue looks for the Cossack. Looks like it's a giant mass. But we'll keep, we'll see you in the Discord. In the Astro Lounge.

In the Cremory. Yeah. So now we'll see you in the advert breaks, of course. Yeah. One day's going to make the leap from the adverts into the main feature. And I believe there's going to happen for you this year. You know, I've done quite a lot of feature films and sitcoms and dramas, so I don't know.

Yeah, you say that. And quite a lot of feature films. Direct to Netflix mind. Yeah. That's actually a good thing now, though, isn't it? That's actually a good thing now, Chris. Thanks. Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas. Yeah, Merry Christmas. We'll speak to you soon. We'll have to you. You've got an Anne. I was going to say, for the man who's got everything, you want to get one of those gold spliff holders. Merry Christmas. Is that like the...

2020... What year is it now? 2025, yeah. 2026. Archery, painting. Leaks. Combine the two? Yeah, from a hundred foot, bang, on the canvas.

Yeah, shooting brushes. I suppose you'd just turn an hour around. Yeah. Merry Christmas I'm not going to edit this So all these endings are in Oh no, come on Merry Christmas

Everybody Bong Bong Bong like that