Rural Concerns - Noms, monsters & dashcams

Episode Date: August 27, 2024

Chris is nommed! Sunil has a dashcam! Producer James has to take over certain administrative functions! Like writing the blurb for the episode! It's not as worthy of an award nomination as usual, is it?

Welcome to Rural Concerns, a podcast hosted by two wonderful comedians, Chris Cantrell and Sunil Patel. This James the producer taking over here because Chris is a little bit discombobulated from just having been nominated for the Edinburgh Comedy Award and Sunil went near a river yeah I'm tired add a new hot dog with mashed potato in it what in it in it what like through the middle like a reverse stuffed crust no as in spread on the roll like butter what yeah that's it what like through the middle like a reverse stuffed crust no as in spread on the roll like butter what yeah that's it then they put the hot dog sausage on top and then crispy onions right i love a cronion yeah that was nice one pound 25 ikea yes they're swedish special

hot dog i never heard of such a thing perfect for the hot weather. Yeah. Extra mashed potato. It's what you want in summer. Yeah. Well, I mean, that's, I mean, it's great that hot dog technology is still moving. Cause the last innovation I heard was the chili dog.

God. Yeah. I suppose a lot of the innovation has been about what you put on top of the sausage, but this is very much underneath the sausage, which really, it really blows away the casual eater. Yeah. And also cause it would, I guess to the, to, at a glance, much underneath the sausage which really it really blows away the casual eater yeah and also because

it would i guess to the to at a glance it would just appear to be a slightly thicker roll that's right if you've smeared yeah mashed potato on the inside at a glance it'd be like oh there's is there a cloud under my sausage but you know mashed potato especially cheap mashed potato doesn't really taste of anything does it it? It's just sort of wet mess. I feel like I knew the person who invented, was the kid of the person that invented Smash. The old maid in Chelsea or something. No, I don't know where it was.

It was like Bible camp. This was in like America, wasn't it? In like the 30s, surely. Something even older. Maybe it was the robots from the advert. Well, you saw the robots from the Smash advert and thought, I know they're kids. Yeah, I saw a bin. Have we heard from Chris?

To be honest, he's barely even said he's going to be coming to this. He's maybe, I think he's, he says he's five minutes away and that was five minutes, four minutes ago. So he's less than 20 seconds away. He'll be in in a sec then. Well, I think we've covered everything.

I do think so. I don't think anything else has happened. I went to the river, but Chris has been nominated for one of the biggest awards in comedy. Yeah. Again. Again.

Every year. Can't get away with it, can he? No. He's like the James Acaster of comedy. I know. He can't just have a year off. He can't just have a quiet time. What are you eating now? The second segment of comedy. I know, you can't just have a year off. You can't just have a quiet time. What are you eating now?

The second segment of three. Check these out. It's called Polly Milk Choco, right? So it's little sweets. They look like tiny little Tonex tea cakes. And I thought, these would be nice. It turns out it's a lucky dip. So some are milk chocolate, some are butter toffee,

and some are something called Arak Arak some sort of coconut liqueur where's what this is like a very

either upmarket or downmarket revel I think upmarket I think it's a very common in Sweden because of course

I got it from my trip to Ikea is this all Ikea did you just go Ikea for your big shop to get some frames and because I was getting my dash cam fitted on my car in Ikea. Was this, is this all Ikea? Did you just go to Ikea for your big shop? To get some frames. And because I was getting my dash cam fitted on my car.

In Ikea? Or there next door, in Holford's next door? In order to reduce my insurance costs. What does it plug into, the dash cam? Is it like plug into

the cigarette lighter? If you pay a chap, the wires don't show themselves. Oh. Yeah. And it just comes on when you start the car? That's it.

If you pay someone, they like, they talk to you like you're a granny with an iPad. And they don't let you know the technical workings behind it. You are opening up another avenue for people to claim that they've got a video of you wearing kin. I've just eaten one of the Arak ones, which tastes of like gas, like natural gas. Oh, that's not good. that's not a good flavor i had some japanese sweets that were the flavor of vomit fruit and they sort of slightly take they were like sweets that had a weird taste of natural gas in the middle yeah what is that natural gas flavor

and how are they getting it well isn't isn't actually natural gas famously odourless? Oh, yeah. And so they put a flavouring into it, so it's just the same one, I guess. So they've added the flavour of coconut rum to it. Yeah, arrack. Right, should I do my river trip quickly while he gets a glass of water? I went to the river, London's river, for a focus meeting of male leaders in the community. Oh, yeah.

What, like a sort of low budget that one with the owl in it did you burn an owl well like davos yeah yeah it was like that it's a bit like that we didn't burn an owl i burnt a load of sausages because i didn't keep an eye on the barbecue that was a good looking barbecue i saw in your picture was that there already we need to talk barbecues once once ch here. Hi, Chris. I'm here. Are you drunk? You've been drinking again. I've not been drinking.

I wouldn't dare drink. You've been smoking. Nicola. No, no, no, no smoking. I've just, honestly, I've had a very big and very long day and it's still not done. Well done. I liked your photo shoot.

Started with that, nine o'clock in the morning, having a great time. And I've just photo shoot. Started with that, 9 o'clock in the morning, having a great time. And I've just not stopped. Like me, mum and me dad and Nicola and the boy are here. So we've been having a good time. But I'm also at the same time trying to be very present with my family wherever it's in a month, but also simultaneously organise a debut UK tour. Do you know what I mean?

It's been an intense day of like sneaked glances at my phone but did they only come up because you got nommed were they like if you don't get nommed just whenever you get back we'll see you that's not the pre that's not the prerequisite to them sharing affection no they were coming up anyway and it's really nice to

break up the what's the word like the chaos of it and stuff and then my son I took my son we went to a show together and that was really cool and uh like just knocking around it's been really nice nice to me to meet lots of people as well so yeah it's a little bit of respect for the old man maybe nothing new for you of course because i think it's every year you've been there since pre-pandemic now you've been in nominated for something i don't know i don't want to it's very dazzling and overwhelming and brilliant about i've had a good i would not want to put across that i'm bored of this so now

this is a brilliant thing that's happened i'm not jaded i don't suffer from on way but yeah i've had a good i've had a good time i don't want to talk about it too much. I still haven't really processed what's happening. Do you know what I mean? It's very full on. Do you want to talk about the things we were discussing before you came here? Yeah. Yeah, please.

I'd like to take a double back on that. I need to be grounded in the middle. Because my life now, if I were to tell you what my life is based on today, it'd be free champagne, free bacon do you know what i mean this is i swim in different circles now so i would so i would like to be grounded we're talking about whatever you want about boring stuff okay have you got a dash cam on the astra no and i've been meaning to do it since we got it a year and a half ago two two years ago. Are you scared of what you will do to the car or what someone else will do to it? What I will do to it? Yeah.

That's it. I don't want a Digicam trying to be like absolutely splattering a barn owl, you know? If you do get some roadkill with a dash cam, you've got to put it on the Discord. Yeah, I've got to, essentially. Although, yeah, I don't think that's exactly what they signed up for but we'll make that an elite patreon tier it costs 17 pounds a month and it's just for and we'll put we'll call it people with refined tastes you know like if we we can run this podcast very successfully off the bat, we're working on a mass market model talking to all these dweebs.

But what we really needed was one or two high profile perverts. Okay, well, I've got a dash cam. Let's compare footage once we've killed something. So did you just get your dash cam? I got it installed last week, as I was telling James. Nothing appeared yet. The same day I went to Ikea to buy their special hot dog they've got at the moment. Chris, you're not going to believe this. Yeah. I know you will because I've told you in the group. Yeah. No, I don't know. I've not read the group. I've been running around. Go on, tell me. They put mashed potato underneath the sausage. What? They

spread mashed potato on the roll, put the sausage on top and then said, do you want crispy onions? And I said, yes. And? And it just tasted of nothing. Obviously, it's just sort of like a bit of wet mass underneath the sausage. That feels to me a very Swedish type idea. Are the Swedish known for potatoes though?

I don't think they are. Hasselbacks? That's the name of the hotel, isn't it? No. It's when you take a potato and you like score, it's like tiny little cuts in the potato. Yeah, I know that. I'm saying it came about because of, oh, is it?

I'm sure you do, because I can see in the reflection of your glasses that you're Googling it right now. I'm looking at it, you're right. It is Swedish. Is it? It's from the Hasselbacken restaurant in Stockholm. No way. Don't try and pretend you have more info about Hasselback potatoes that I've just told you about them. I've made Hasselback and Restaurant in Stockholm. No way. Don't try and pretend you have more info about Hasselback potatoes.

I've just told you about them. I've made Hasselback potato. Have you? Have any of you? Put your hand up if you've made Hasselback potato. I actually have. All three of us have? That's bullshit.

Well, there you go. Where's your next chess move, Moriarty? How many did you make? I don't know. We have them quite frequently. Nicola likes them. Oh, hello. of Moriarty. How many did you make? I don't know. This is a... We have them quite frequently. Nicola likes them. Oh, hello.

And this is pre-NOM. I had my first Hassleback Potato with Chris. Made by Chris? No, it was in the Edinburgh Botanic Gardens. Yeah, I had lunch

at the Edinburgh Botanic Gardens when Chris and I went to Edinburgh for a weekend last year. Yeah, we did a weekend of comedy and ate shit every night but had a lovely time in the day.

We went to the dungeon. Went to the dungeon. It was really quite scary. I grabbed his leg. Go back a second. Nicola will not eat an IKEA hot dog. Best bit of going

because she thinks the sensation when you bite into them is like she imagines she's biting into a finger. Yes. The pop. There's a pop,

a pop of the, yeah. The pop of the membrane is what you were about to say, Chris, I think. Say Yes. The pop. There's a pop, a pop of the, yeah. The pop of the membrane is what you were about to say, Chris, I think. Say it, say it. Don't censor yourself. Well, now you say that.

Now you say that. Yeah, no, she's like crunching into the hot dog. But I like those hot dogs. Where's your nearest Ikea? Oh, probably Gateshead now. Oh my God, is it?

A long way away. I haven't been since I've moved up here. We haven't had a call, so we've been living in a shanty, upside-down house for a while. But now, we're stocking this entire house top to bottom with basically whatever's cheapest in charity shop,

British Home Foundation, that sort of thing. We've got a load of shonky drawers, £15 each. We're going to upgrade them and buy nice stuff, but it's just going to be gradual. We've got away from DIY on this podcast because quite crucially, I haven't done any of it for many months. I've been doing it and this is what I said to my wife.

I'm doing an Edinburgh show. This is our future. Do you know what I mean? It's kind of lucky you got numbed, isn't it? It really takes the heat off you. I'll be totally honest with you. If this didn't work out like it did, I was going to be a postman.

I'm serious. I'm deadly serious. I'd had enough. I'd had completely enough. I was like, I'm done. I'm going to deliver letters and parcels. A simple life. This is a hard life.

I'd rather just do letters. Yeah, I'll do parcels on weekends, you know what I mean? Like, top up money. Fling them into a garden. Yeah, get them all, put them down a chimney. Like effing Santa Claus, you would say.

What were you talking about before I came on? And was it talking about me? Did you explain the context of my big day? I don't want to talk about it. I think we did. Did you explain? I think we alluded to it, yeah.

Did you explain what it is and the prominence in the comedy ecosystem that this nomination, but did you explain that clearly? We said it was the biggest award in comedy, but it's not. It's the biggest award in live comedy. Yeah, after the joke of the fringe after joke of the fringe dave's joke of the fringe i will i won't do that i tried submitting some jokes but they're all half a page they're all half a page and they said you know what i mean several times you know i mean i didn't

get it i couldn't get it succinct I couldn't do it yeah I think we did mention you've been nominated for the Edinburgh Comedy Award the biggest award in comedy

2024 do you know why I did my show today I did want to ask what sort of big boys are coming in your show now I had today I had Jack Whitehall

wow came in and when he was leaving I was like messing around with my pdq machine you know like desperately try desperately trying to do like three things turn it on connect it why i'm in a cave i'm in a subterranean cave i've tried to connect to the wi-fi that's in the next door building so i can run a card payment through it's the most stressful bit of my day. But Jack Whitehall came up, he said,

that's a really good show, you should be really proud of it. And I was like, thanks for coming. Do you know what I mean? I'm having a great time. Other than that, nobody really, but lots of people. I don't know anyone that I recognise from TV or anything like that, but I'm sure there were some bigwigs in. Maybe a corporate sponsor for this podcast?

I don't know. I saw Angus Deaton in someone else's show. Oh. And? Did he enjoy it? podcast? I don't know. I saw Angus Deaton in someone else's show. Oh. And? Did he enjoy it? I don't know. I was just looking at the back of his head. Yeah. I'll be winning the show.

I was in your show when the reviewer from The Guardian was in. I don't want to talk about this, but what are we doing? What are we talking about? I've had a great month. I've had a great month. I've had a great time. The only thing that we know for certain is I'm not going to be a postman anymore. Other than that, it don't matter.

I don't want to talk about the ins and outs of that stuff. I've read one review. I've read one review and one review only in the middle of the fringe. And I was like, it was a four-star review. Do you know what I mean? It's going up on the wall. I was having a great time. And I thought, this this can't be bad because i opened it and it opened

with a sentence meandering is a word that is often and i was like i was i rang amy gladill who's my friend director of the show as well said i've read a review and i shouldn't have done it and i sort of told her about it she said you know what that is the reviewer fucking hates you but has to admit the show's good and i think that's and i quite as you said i quite enjoy that well done to amy as well that's incredible amy gladhill also the delightful sausage friend of the podcast take it we're taking we're knocking the cambridge mafia off the street do you know what i mean? She was my second question. When they told me that I'd got it, I said, has Amy got it?

They said, yes. And I said, yes! Like that. But she was in a meeting, trapped in a booth at City Cafe, so I ran along to meet her. And then we just went and sort of hid for a bit, you know, and just re-acclimatized. Do you know what I mean?

I met a heiress last week who's trying to give away all of her money. She's given away 25 million. Wow. Why? She doesn't believe in being rich. She doesn't believe in inheritances. She will. Does she have children?

She doesn't have children, no, no. But she thinks inheritances are bad for equality in Europe. She's given away 25 million. She lives in a rented flat with a bike. But here's the sad bit. She said once she's given that away, she's going to keep on inheriting more and there's no way she'll ever be poor.

Got it. Why does she keep getting more? How many more relatives does she have? It's like one of those big families that are worth billions. But do you know that she could bring happiness to so many artists? To one nominated artist. By sponsoring a debut UK tour. I did suggest it.

And maybe a Belfast date, if we can remember it. She could send me first class on that adventure. A UK mainland and potentially Belfast tour. Sorry, do you know when you'll be doing it in London? I think there might be talk of September, but I think I'm keen to push it back a little bit. So it's like October, November, because I need to relax and lots and lots of adrenaline to leave my body.

Because I know now I've got three days left, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, three shows left, or four shows. I'm doing an extra one, but I've got four shows left. Yeah, Saturday, Sunday, three shows left, or four shows. I'm doing an extra one, but I've got four shows left. Yeah, Sunday I'll leave. I'll get home and then we'll go camping with Nicola and the boy. And in that week while we're away camping, the amount of adrenaline that's going to leave my body is going to leave me, there'll be tears, there'll be, like, you know, seizures.

Not seizures, that's not right. But, I mean, like, they'll be like you know seizures not seizures that's not right but i mean like they'll be quite physically uh apparently in the theater world they like build it into their calendars you know like post-show blues it's like a thing that's like an old tradition in showbiz and stuff like that and it's like yeah it'll hit me like a like a brick wall because i think for the entire month the adrenaline is through the roof whether it's up or down the baseline of adrenaline is so far beyond what's normal you should normally end an edema run with a week all-inclusive of aleraki yeah yeah yeah with the lads get away from the wife and child medicinally like take coke and stuff just to keep the energy right 25 million pints and a coke 25 million pints of the coke monitor it and slowly land this fucking boeing 747 that is

that has been me in august slowly land it yeah because i really actually this is important to me the camping stuff because i'm i'm now after having spent a night at the river barbecuing, in the market for a portable gas barbecue. Ooh. Yeah, what are you guys cooking on in the wild? I've got a pretty decent one. What is it? I don't know.

I don't know. Nicola sorts it all. You don't know if it's gas or charcoal? It's gas. Nicola buys everything. Nicola does the putting it together. Nicola does the cooking on it. When she says, can you take this rubbish to the bin?

I say yes immediately. That's the dynamic. It worked for us. Can I call her? Is she busy right now? She's busy with it. It's bedtime. The boy's here and he's tired.

So she's putting him to bed. But I think she will be on her phone. Hopefully she'll reply. Oh, she's online. She's the boy's here and he's tired so she's putting him to bed but she i think she will be on her phone hopefully she'll reply oh she's online she's online she's read it okay and i'll just take a photo of you for i've been taking a picture of what um on the chat like no no i'm just taking a picture of you boys so she knows why i'm asking just want to take my top off she says oh hang on yeah james take your top off no that'll slow down the answer we've got one of them uni portable pizza ovens oh you make pizza while camping to make the dough beforehand and take it you can get some quite good i think it's pizza express ready-made dough

that you keep in the fridge you can take that that and throw it and cook yourself a little pizza. It's lovely. Nicola says, Sad James has a top on. Is that her nickname for me? Sad James? Yep, I knew it. The KADAK Safari Chef 2 High Pressure.

So that one uses butane canisters. Thank you. I knew it. Can I talk to you? This is not for now. We're talking about camping equipment. But Sonu, i need to pick your brains re adaptive charging but we'll come back to that you can pick my brains about adaptive charging i don't know exactly what that means i don't know what it means but i think it means if i put my phone in and i set my alarm like seven o'clock

it like alters the flow of energy so that it it's an a my phone heals gradually up to seven o'clock it like alters the flow of energy so that it it's an it my phone heals gradually up to seven o'clock well i have on my iphone it just charges up it charges up to 80 percent and then it does the rest on a really slow charge up until the time your alarm goes off so it's better is it i presume it's because it's better for the battery yeah i think that's it really how interesting i just don't know if it's that it's better for the battery. Yeah, I think that's it really. How interesting. I just don't know if it makes that much difference really. If it does extend the battery life, then it's a good thing for people who haven't got young children

and might have to leave their bed during the night and unplug their phone because then you've just got an uncharged phone. I don't charge my phone above 80%. It simply doesn't happen. Really? No. Because that's bad for the... Yeah.

There's a setting in it which stops it at 80%. What do you mean? What is it? Is it bad for the environment? No, it's bad for your battery. Oh, right. There we go.

Is this good podcasting? It's probably bonus. What have you been up to, Sunil? Went to the river with the boys the other day. Comedians. Patrick Spicer, Nathan Roberts, Will Rowland. Oh, this sounds like a bunch of good lads. Yeah, it was a focused retreat of male leaders in the community.

That's how it was built to me. Focused retreat of high-performance male leaders. I mean, it's very respectfully, but I don't think any of the four of you would be the ones that would want in a wilderness survival scenario. I don't think any comedian would be helpful. Kevin James. Kevin James.

Paul Blart Mall Cop. Whittling. Paul Blart Mall Cop whittling. Doing knots. He's got a birdhouse tent 2K. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, that does sound good. So are you feeling, are you feeling the stink,

not the stink, the itch to go camping? No, no. I'm feeling the itch to barbecue in my garden on a small portable stove. Why can't you just buy a slightly bigger one? Because, you know, this is a rented property,

you know, they'll be moving, you know. Yeah, yeah, that makes sense. And then you've always got it, you can always take it places. That's quite cool. But anyway, on our focused retreat of high-performance male leaders, we talked a lot about masculinity, how we exist in the world as men, just that kind of thing.

And what was the conclusions? We've got to get ripped and just batter lads. We've got to. There's no other option. You've got to do that. You've got to do Instagram reels. This is modern masculinity. What have you been up to, James? I went to the cinema. You got to do that. You got to do Instagram reels. This is modern masculinity. What have you been up to, James?

I went to the cinema. I saw that Deadpool film. And? It's a bit tiresome, isn't it? I thought it's the best film I've seen. I think it's the best film. I laughed at least once a minute for two hours and 36 minutes. I mean, come on.

I laughed a few times. There were some funny jokes. That dog was annoying. That's the world's ugliest dog. Oh. He's got his own Instagram. It's not. Oh, so actually, to be fair, then, okay, I was going to say I'd had all the cameos spoiled for me.

I didn't know that was a cameo. My mate went to watch it and he was like I just wanted it to end and I was like one is that and I was like come on now

it's the best film that's been made in recent memory and he was like what's wrong yeah it's up there with Jim too Hugh Jackman was really good

I thought Hugh Jackman was really good and sometimes Ryan Reynolds was quite funny but a lot of the times it was a bit annoying. Yeah. I think that's fair. He's meant to be annoying,

but then he's very good at it. So that's annoying. Yeah. He's a good guy. He's all right. He's like a musical theater guy like me. So he's, you know,

Hugh Jackman. Yeah. Yeah. Hugh Jackman is. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Song and dance man. Yeah. He's a song and dance man like me. So he's. Born entertainer. The only, the only vague talking point Jackman is, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, song and dance man. Yeah, he's a song and dance man like me, so he's... Born entertainer. The only vague talking point I had is, are we all too old to have ever been into Monster Energy Drink? Yes, it is an interesting thing, yeah.

It's really not our generation, is it? Red Bull was about it. Yeah, but there's a real big problem with these. This isn't like a cultural choice thing. These are real bad drinks. Do you know, like a tin of Monster is like 23 teaspoons of sugar.

And I, you see kids drinking them on way to school. It's fucked. This should be illegal. Is it tasty? I don't know. I don't remember.

Well, we'll pick up, we'll pick our own flavours. Can we get bespoke tins that say Royal Concerns on it? We'll email Monster. There's, yeah, I i mean i think you have to be over a certain age to buy them don't you in some shops really yeah there's also that one called boost which looks like shit like the dog like the knockoff version looks like a battery or something done to like the design of the thing yeah it's

just all i'm saying to you lads is stay away what the last thing we're in a demographic that needs to think about his heart yeah you know what i mean i think monster i've never had i've had i would very very very occasionally have like a red bull if i'm doing you know like a mad drive when i'm driving so long i'm seeing things that aren't there you know like one of those drives but it's also very closely associated with gaming isn't it monster because you don't need to stop you can play until the wee hours but i suppose they sponsor it don't they sponsor extreme sports and stuff as well they're trying to like forge mental connections okay i think i've got our flavors we've got peaches and cream assault and orange dreamsicle assault yeah energy assault

is one of them it's like got camo on it peaches and cream probably Chris that's you yeah and I'll have the orange dreamsicle orange dreamsicle

I'll be the orange dreamsicle another well done Chris well done Chris and you're going to have a right old day tomorrow yeah I'm having a good time it's really

when does the results come out is it going to be after this yeah yeah they'll come out on saturday so we'll know either way but it doesn't matter i'm having a great time it's i don't know you know it's one of those things where you won't get it and people will message like commiserations and you're like don't worry about that i'm having a i've had a brilliant time. Do you want to record a version if you do win?

Yeah, definitely. Stick it. Stick it. This is the final episode of our concert. I got this £10,000 and spent it all on Monster Energy drink, peaches and cream. He was talking to you, Sunil. They asked me a question

and I was like, what would you do if you won? And I said, I'd buy my wife a new carpet. Do you i mean that's that i want to win it don't matter but all i'm saying is if i do i'll give most of the money to charity yeah and you'll buy back the pints i bought you in edinburgh when i was there as well you bought me pints yeah a number of them i made you buy me one as well didn't i did you buy a ticket to my show? I just walked in. Yeah, good. So this is the exchange. You came in the show, you buy me a pint.

That feels right. You've been in my show for free. Nowhere. I've always bought a ticket. You were in a Pleasant, weren't you? Yeah, then Monkey Barrel last one. Pricey, pricey. So yeah, I threw all our money at you.

Yeah, isn't yours a pay what you want? Bits of it are. It's like you can secure it. Yeah. Like for the last 10 minutes no you can support you can buy a ticket to security or there's a pay what you want allocation where it is heavily implied that you should give a bit of money to the performer by me i'm like please come on and i get my son up. I lift him up like this. And all of his clothes are falling to bits. I'm like, look at this. You've done this, you monsters.

I say, please, please leave him up. But if you leave him, I'll kick your head off your shoulders like it was a football, you know what I mean? Touchdown. All right, well, here's a fitting quote from Tupac to close out the Rural Concerns podcast. Reality is wrong. It's up to us to change it.

Oh, God. Boom. Wow. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I assume he means that reality is created by us as we go forward in life. I broadly agree. I think reality is malleable.

Yeah, I actually changed my mind. I agree with Chris. Reality is often, particularly working in entertainment, reality is whatever you put in Instagram Reels. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? Absolutely. That's reality.

Just so you put, oh, I've done a sold-out gig, but it's just you, a picture against a wall. Do you know what I mean? We all know what's going on, but that's the truth. Captured. Come on now, the dark arts. That is a fitting quote from Chris Cantrell to close out rural

concerns. You just want this to end but now I'm just suddenly getting a second wind. How are you getting a second wind now? He's had a monster off cam. I've had a monster. I've had an off cam with monster. No, I don't want a second wind. We've got to wrap it up. I need to. We're back to normal. I've got a week off next

James. I'm going camping. We might need to figure something out don't forget the bug spray what's the thank yous what's the list of thank yous do the quick list of thank you sam o'leary for the music poppy hill stood for the artwork and egg mountain joseph burrows for the editing shout out joseph burrows joseph burrows is all right egg mountain for a lovely 10 productions is how it's we have the lawyers agreed that we should present it. The ghost of Tupac.

The ghost of Tupac for giving us advice when we needed it the most. The creators of Monster Energy Drink. Refusing to put out so much substandard. IKEA. For making hot dogs. With mashed potato on the bottom. Dash cams. Dash cams.

And finally, the people of Sweden. I want you to know, this is my mental faculties now, the same as when we started this podcast in January. I was very depressed. My brain is a mess, but we are coming back. We did not drop the ball once during the Edinburgh Fringe when we were away. James was on holiday. We will not stop.

We can never be stopped. This is Real Concerns. Thanks for listening. What shall I do about all these emails where they say they've seen me wanking? Um, I don't know, to be honest. Yeah, I mean, they haven't. How do you know?

Well, it's a common scam, isn't it? I sent it off to the crime prevention people, you know, at GCHQ or something. Oh, yes. Yeah, see if they can crack the code of who's seen me wanking. Did they ask you to send pictures of you actually? They were like, yeah, send us some pictures of you actually wanking just to make sure it's not the same thing that they've got as well.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. What are you eating? I'm baring my soul to you. A Kit Kat junkie with Speculoos in it. Bong! Like that.