Rural Concerns - Sauces, sweets & tomato vapes

Episode Date: September 9, 2025

Chris recommends a brilliant syrup for follically challenged lads, Sunil raw-dogs the M1 and James isn’t worried about child slavery laws. The lads also celebrate the release of Sunil’s Hollywood film, The Toxic Avenger! If you want to experience the full force of Rural Concerns Live, you can grab tickets to our Manchester show at Fairfield Social Club on 22nd November! So far our prep is just a post-it note on which is written, ‘best live podcast episode ever’. Series two of Chris' radio show Icklewick FM has just dropped on BBC Sounds! It's also on BBC Radio 4 at 11pm for the next few weeks.   If you have a Rural Concern you can send us an email to [e-mail]. We promise we’ll be very kind! The best way to support this educational podcast is through Patreon. For less than a fiver you can get bonus episodes and access to our Discord community, The Creamery. Our artwork is by Poppy Hillstead, our music is by Sam O’Leary and our legal due diligence is by Cal Derrick, Entertainment Lawyer. Rural Concerns is edited by Joseph Burrows and produced by Egg Mountain for A Lovely Time Productions.

Hello, I'm Senor Patel. I live in London's Glittering London region. You'll recognise me from the adverts, not just the ones for the Building Society, the ones on the dark web offering 10 mil doses of my precious seed. If you see these ads, please do not respond. are a scam. This agency is not allowed to market and sell my special juices. Please come direct to the source. No time wasters. Last week I had a cabal interest here, but when I quoted the postage in packing, they decided they couldn't be asked. I can imagine your seeds. It only use it's got is, you know, that people putting it into a glass with water, you know, like collagen or something like that. That's the only use, is it? Only use that and grouting. They'll drink it with water. And grouting. Mix it with sand. seal those cracks up

and I am Chris Cantrell to escape the constrictions of city living I moved to the deepest countryside in search of freedom and peace however all mine and the other villagers decisions have to be vetted by the clever pig green apple for yes

red apple for no plus each villager has to take a turn caring for clever pig's progeny turns out if I contradict hard enough I can lactate I'm producer James and I'm not only very good at Mario Kart on the Nintendo Wii I'm also a great dad

You're supposed to end your bits by saying You do loads of calm or something over porn And that's what it's supposed to be No I didn't want to Spencer the producer James bit traditionally in the intros It's normally like Some at summer I live a barbing life That's why I take industrial amounts of cocaine

That's it I'm an internet pornography addicts These are these are the hallmarks Of producer James's intros Well, I'm just trying a new thing. Just through it riffing. Well, I hope it doesn't put off listeners. Mm, yeah, me too. Right, right.

Come on. Come on now. Welcome to Bill. We don't need to say that. We don't need to say this because we were doing the intro, this would be edited out, you fucking idiot. But Chris, you've been to Ireland. Is that countryside?

Were you in the countryside in Ireland? It's mainly countryside, isn't it? I was in a place called Port Stewart, which is basically. basically a well-to-do, seaside town. Can I tell you what Ireland does that's absolutely amazing? Go on. Pepper corn sauce on fucking everything. We went to this place.

We ate out twice at this same. Basically, I'd describe it as an ambitious chippy. It's a chippy by, it looks like a chippy, digital screens, but it's got some street food things. So basically my wife had chip onion grover, which is like chips with onion and gravy. But I cannot describe to you the viscosity of this grover. It's fake. It's prop.

This is standard. But my son's going like, my wife's going, oh yeah, look at that. And the lady in the shop's like, you know, like putting on a show for Nicola, he was just having too much of a good time. My son's like my little English boy son going. Dad, look, look how thick the gravy is. You know, like that, he couldn't believe it. Also, I said to Nicola after that,

I said, does it wind you up that you've got a little English boy? Do you know what I mean? Like, we're amongst her kingdom, you know what I mean? And you're like, you've got a little English lad. And he's not, he's a regional boy, but when we're in Ireland, we all sound like Little Lord Faultil Roy's, you know what I mean? But we had that.

I had, like, basically, peppercorn sauce. It's like, it should be in the common lexicon. and found its way onto a new meant. You know, and they're always like, right now we're in a period of like Asian flavors, aren't we? You know, like, from around the world, we're in a trend of like Korean flavors. Do you know what I mean?

Like, stuff like this, delicious, delicious Eastern. Your kimchi's. Yeah, your kimchi. We're in the age of kimchi. This has now become something that you would get in a restaurant on a high street. And I am all for it. But perhaps when the new, what's new, what's next? Perhaps, like, let's look a bit closer to home

and put peppercorn sauce of fucking everything that... You wanted it to be the new salted caramel? I wanted to be the new salted caramel, peppercord sauce. It was delicious. It was delicious. I mean, what are they putting it on? Chips, meats, meat. Chicken, burgers, steaks.

Yeah, that works. With still the full peppercorns, because aren't you not... Are you supposed to eat the pepper? Do they have the full peppercorns in it? No, there's no crunch to them. It's like It's like ground It's been boiled out

Yeah No not boy I don't fit you're boiling It's like There's not a pepper There's not a full pepper corn in it Crunch crunch crunch It's like

Oh okay So it's a sort of grey coloured Yeah but it's got black bits in it But it looks like it's ground down Do you know what I mean So it's like It passes Uncrunched basically

But I had a chicken burger Chicken Burger Chicken Burger Peppercon sauce And like tobacco onions Absolutely That's a lot going on though Isn't that a lot going on?

That's too much, though, isn't it? It's very umami, all different types of umami. Yeah, but you're forgetting about the taste of the chicken because it's been overwhelmed by peppercorn and tobacco. Yeah, what are these tobacco onions? What's that? Maybe I've got the name wrong, but they're basically a type of onion that's like... You think in Tabasco?

Yeah, I think. They're just like cooked onions. They're really nice. Why are they called tobacco onions? Because the thin, crispy fried onion strands resemble dried tobacco leaves, both in color and shade. They've not had a bad auntie blow smoke on them. This podcast has veered, unchecked into using the internet willy-nilly

to critique stuff that I've said. I'm backing you up. Chris, I'm backing you up. Yeah, but you don't even know when the leak competition is. We have to Google something. We're trying to find when it is. It's probably happened by the time this episode's gone out and we won't have been there. And we don't want to Google cow's arces, but we have to fact-check you on.

and stuff like that. Bulls, fannies. Bulls fannies, that's mad. Just add it to your tabs, son. My tabs, I've had to shut down my tabs so this uploads properly. You've worked in restauranting, haven't you? I've worked in, when I worked in restaurants many moons ago, I was it. How are those restaurants doing?

All closed. It's like when you watch an episode of Kitchen Nightmares, you know, and if you Google the restaurant, every single one is shut down. And you like, because, like, God of Rams is trying to say, They're like, don't do 2,000 things on a menu, do seven things really well. And these are important lessons to learn. But then the owner will casually drop the I owe $800,000 to the bank. And you're like, it's too late to learn this lesson.

And they're all shut down. Yeah, that was how those. But I worked in the marketing department, which and my boss at one point was a lady who was in charge of like, they called it NPD, new product development. So while they were looking at basically a need to always start producing new stuff When I worked for Beke, obviously

She's still going It's done by different people But basically this A lot of this was dictated by the whims of who was in charge You know, their personal flavour So I remember there was a guy Who took over for a bit

Who was a pig And the guy A hundred percent bleep in that name. And the guy, basically, he was like, this isn't a new, they made, created the bespoke pepper cart. No, not peppercore. They created a bespoke pizza-based sauce, you know, tomato sauce. And honestly, it had so much, it had so much sugar in it,

it was basically jam. Do you know what I mean? It was, and he like, these people are pigs. Do you know, like, my wife's gone into, she's been gardening for the first time. She's been growing vegetables. There is this countryside bit. We've got like strawberries, blackberries, tomatoes.

The tomato plants all went beautifully. And we've just had a regular supply of tomatoes. And like, she gave me some raspberries and was like, that's about a quince worth of vaspers. And then so for the first time, although it's a ton of work to get going, you're like, you know what? This is actually hitting us in there. This is reflected at the bottom line.

You know, like... Let's not forget owning that amount of land is all should quite useful as well. We've got a fig tree and it has gone off its tits this year for producing figs. Mad amount of figs coming out of it. Figs I could take it or leave like, to be honest. It's four pounds for six in your waitrose. Yeah, but they're not going to, no one's going to pay you that amount of money for your figs.

If you've got two children and you don't care about labour laws, you can set up a little pop-up shop in the front of your house and you just lurk behind the scenes to make sure. or no creeps are around, and those kids are selling them. 50 p for one, three for a quid. Boom. It's nice having herbs, but basically my mother and fathering law while we were away, we had some work done in the garden,

the ongoing pipe issues, and they used that time to like, they did a bit of gardening for us, but my farthing law pulled out our, we had perennial rocket, and he misinterpreted it as a weed and pulled it out. And come again. But having like a big fatch of fresh rocket just was brilliant.

And the flavor, the tomatoes, the flavor of these tomatoes compared to what you get in the supermarket was honestly insane. Don't start me on French and Italian tomatoes again. It would just make me angry about British tomatoes. Yeah, but this is the ones that we're going at home, maybe taste closer to the ones that you have in Italy. So it's something to do with mass production, isn't it? Is that? And also like even if you're a heavy vapour like me, you can taste a good tomato when it's good. English tomato vape is not as good as Italian tomato vapes.

English tomato vape. This is a third new section. Don't get me started about French and Italian tomatoes. James. With Sunil Patel. Don't start me on French and Italian tomatoes again. With Sunil Patel. The food I had in Italy was astonishing.

We're doing multiple podcasts within the same podcast, but I think this broadly all sits on the countryside. So maybe put the sting there. What for? The butter, it's mad about butter. I don't know. So just put some of the summer, the summer, there's something that is the former.

Put that sting there. James. I'll do the milk slash dairy slash come up there. Do you make fig jam, James? No, because we're flipping them outside. You're actually selling them? We're making two. The kids were selling them.

They made £5.50. You live on quite a narrow street. Yeah, so it funnels in, the footfall. So do you package them? Like, do you put them together in a little bag or something? Pop them in a little baggie, yeah. What baggies? Like weed baggies?

Yeah, but there's a little picture of a fig on it. You've put a picture of a fig on it. Smoking a spliff. No, but they made posters and stuff. They were like, you know, fresh, locally sourced. What'd you do with fig? Cut it up and get some blue cheese and a cracker. Do you eat the whole thing or do you scoop the inside?

Yeah. I used to have steeped fig, red wasp. steeped in red wine with panacotta, something like that. It was very nice. Where'd you have that? That was when I worked in the restaurants. It was a very nice dessert. That's pretty good, yeah. Don't Google what restaurants used to sell that because you've said so many things about the people that worked in those restaurants. That's why we have to believe it. Not for what you're saying now. It's over. It's for what you've said in the past. A lot of them were bad people.

Yeah. Stop saying. It taught me a lot about how to be in the world. That's all I'm saying. That's all I'm saying. And you said if you'd... Maybe they were good people in a bad situation. situation, Chris. You haven't thought about that? James, don't worry about what I'm about to say. Some of the people that I used to wear with there were evil. To be honest, you've said that before.

Well, they were wasted in a restaurant group, then weren't they? Yeah, they should be working in. Be, obviously, fucking hell. Name my mum's house in Yorkshire. There's like a lady who has a box outside a house. And she sells for charity, not for charity. Yeah, yeah. She sells these honeies.

She sells honey, which is like produced locally somewhere. I don't think it's by her, but she has these jars of honey. Gotta be bees. It's an honesty box situation. The honey, the money goes to charity. But apart from honey, every now and again, she'll get this jar of a thing called rose hip, rose hip honey or sauce or whatever the fuck it is. But it's made out of rose hips.

It's like I've never, it's one of the most beautiful, flavors that you've ever had. It's not something that is very common, but if you ever get your hands on any quantity of rose hip sauce, buy it. Is it a rose hip jelly? No, it's not jelly because it's like a, it's wet. It's got the consistency. It's been processed by bees, is it?

No. It's got the consistency of honey, like a wet honey. Rose hip syrup? Syrup, that's it. Rose hip oil is good for balding, lads. Is it? You rub it on your head, yeah. Yeah, so do they.

suddenly this podcast's interesting rose-hip syrup has gone. Can we buy it on an industrial scale? I thought rose-hips was like, that was how you made itching powder though. Right, let me Google it then. You got the seeds out of a rose hip and it was basically itching powder. No scientific studies have been conducted. Cool. So probably could work.

Yeah, so almost definitely does work. It may support a healthier scalp environment that could contribute to hair growth if follicles are present. But rose hip oil is unlikely to regrow hair in bald spots. Okay. Sorry, lads. Yeah, all right. Well, none of us have got like any bald spots, have we?

Not thanks to the rose hip oil. Well, there we go. It's not expensive. No, because, like, rose hips. I'm not talking about putting it on my fucking head. I'm talking about putting it on toast. Oh, sorry. It's tasty.

I can imagine that on like a fresh vanilla ice cream. Did we talk about Edinburgh in that, in that episode we did alone. A little bit, yeah. You slandered some people, yeah. Did I? Not thanks to me editing it out. No, that was in the high culture episode.

Oh, that was high culture. Yeah, I don't know if we did talk about it in the episode then. I'm pretty sure I mentioned that I went up to see to Edinburgh and I saw Chris. Yeah, yes. Yeah, we have talked about it. Yeah, great. It says here in the city bit. Here is the city bit that I've joined MicroDick support group.

Does it need a support? I don't know. I didn't write it. I think Chris wrote that in there for some reason. I don't know. I wouldn't do that. I'm proud of you for finally reaching out. Do you know what I mean? You shouldn't have to battle this out by yourself. I don't know what you're talking about. If I do go, it'll be to provide information for you guys who are too scared to go. Would you be like the pound coin for scale? For the record, do not have a micro dick. If anything, too much the other way. You're saying you've got too much dig.

I thought that was public service. Too much steak Struggle to fit in a carry bag No this is fine This is a fine podcast thing to say Who's written these points for me Who do you think Cinema goers summer of Sunil Patel?

Oh yeah, just how many times I've been sent in the Discord group The Patriot community of people who support the podcast Just online So many people Like if you go to the cinema this If you go to the cinema this summer everyone's screen grabbing your face because you are before every single film.

So I assume that you've got a lot of messages for people. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Also, this is not 2024. What we are in now is a year of divine cinema. We're having a good year for the cinema. I'd be going to the cinema more than I have done in recent memory. So I've been seeing you a lot. And every time I'm like, why aren't this come by just buy some new headphones or why

did it take him so long to get that new cable? Do you know what I mean? It was nothing wrong with my cable, was it? It was the echo cancellation button on this screen here. And I've got headphones on now because I've lost my headphones. See, I'm upgrading for the benefit of this podcast. I'm putting everything into this. Everything I'm earning off that advert is going into Royal Concerns.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Also, the boy who's been on, I would count it on my own eight intercontinental holidays this year. I have not been on eight intercontinental holidays this year. Puffin Island. Puffin Islands, Wales, Devon. And that wasn't a holiday. We were there for a film festival. That's true.

Lake Como was the holiday. That's still the same continent though, so technically it isn't into continental. Yeah, and that was only five hours. Chris. So, and I haven't got any other holidays books, but I might do. Can we, in, on, off the back of that. Yes. Sunil is going to be in the film Toxic Avenger.

Yes. Can we go as a field trip to see it? Or will it be weird to go to the cinema? First off, will it be? be shown in the cinema. Cinema is releasing this Friday. A bit of being one London cinema. Yeah, we'll go to the Prince Charles.

That's classy. Are we going to go for a school trip to see Toxic Avenger with Sam? Oh, yeah, sure, yeah. I mean... Would you come in? I don't really like watching myself and stuff. Yeah, but this is a special event. You've never been in summer this, like a cultural event like this before.

The Cine World. You know what I mean? You're in that death in Paradise set in Cornwall. That was a big deal. But this is a Hollywood movie. I would like to watch it. Yeah, that's the only way I'll get to watch it really, isn't it, until it comes out? I can't quite bring myself to commit a £150 train ticket.

Like, what am I doing to treat myself to buy it on demand? Oh, Siddell, do you know if they do with a steel tin edition? Because I've got a PlayStation now. I can play the Toxic Avenger. They will 100% do a steel tin edition of this. This is just for the fans, this film essentially, isn't it? Yeah, and this is, it's got a real width of, you know what I mean? like punk rock but not punk rock what's that rock that like my chemical romance do

emo yeah it's like got a real whiff of like an emo rebel about it this film right okay i haven't even yeah well we'll see i mean yeah we can all go if you want but it depends on you're next down in london chris it's basically young blood the film into it looks really like i watched like an r rated like a like the red band mature rated trip violent it trailer that had violence in it. An absolutely mental approach to trailers, this film has to be said. I like it. It's weird, but it's not ineffective because all I do is think about it.

I think you are the target audience for this sort of film. Yeah. You bullies. Chris more than me. Yeah, Chris Moore. Just because I know every single word to some insane clown potty songs, Guilty is charged. If I, I need to, I'm still coming back to, we're still in the school holidays.

I'm sort of getting my head around work and stuff. I believe that I have cause to be down in London soon, but it is not locked in to any degree. There we go. Well, I'm seeing you this Saturday, aren't I? Even though we don't say that in this episode. Yeah. That was a while ago, but yeah.

That was a while ago when I saw him, but it will be this weekend. That's what I'm saying. You know what? We should just wait to see what the... Well, we won't have time. The Discord community will come out for this, the rural concerns support.

will come out to, no, not for the gig, for the Toxic Avenger. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I want pictures, I want people chicken jockeying in your scene. Going full, Zanil. What do you say? What's one of your lines that they can chicken jockey out? I genuinely cannot remember my lines. This was, we filmed it years ago.

Yeah, it was years ago, aren't it? Because I remember when you first said you were doing it, I was so... Convinced it was part of the DC universe. So excited about it because I was like, this is a really, really big deal. Then it got stuck. Then it got stuck on a shelf for five years. And shout out, Nicola, for helping me with the accent.

No, don't associate with that. What? She did. She's a speech coach. Is she helping the American accent? No, no, I asked her to help me with it. He approached her independently. But she did, listen, if you listen to this film, she did what she can.

She didn't have loads of time. That's it. Like, don't hold it against her. She's brilliant at a job. she does some clay innately when you're moulding it you know some clay is better to work with than others some clay's shit and hard and ruined already we didn't have long that's what he's saying that's what he's saying listen I can't have your shaky American accent impacting the money that comes into our household do you know what I need to insulate Nicola from this professionally

I'd just like to thank Nicola for making my accent not shaky at all thank you can I do a very tiny countryside update. Oh, go on. There is this countryside, but a local community allotment type, two farmers are growing a range of vegetables and we've just paid for a collection of vegetables in a box. Do you know what I mean? This has been delivered from the local farm. This includes a rat's tail radish, which apparently is, yeah, it's not a nice name, is it?

but apparently it's super, super spicy. So I'm excited to have that. There you go. And that's a countryside. That's the update. That's a countryside up there. No, it's because normally if you do those updates, you normally say something absolutely mad after it

rather than something wholesome like that. Yeah. You normally say, and I'd love to fucking, you know, the person, the farmer who did it, she says, my foot's still burning from this fast. Oh, right. So I'm excited to have it. Good.

I don't know. Not on toast. You ever been a salad? Right, sorry, so salads, I know. All right. I need to start ordering salads in restaurants. I've got a mentality whenever I'm eating. I'm always having.

The burger. He always goes for the burger. No, but if I'm always eating, I'm eating, the thing is eating out has become more a part of my life than it would have been. You know, because I basically spend so much time, cities where I've got basically one hour to kill until I need to do a thing. So as part of that, I'm eating out,

but I've still got this mentality. of like every time I'm eating out, it's a treat, go wild. So I'm always having a pizza. I'm always having a burger. Now I need to make a sensible choice and go for something like a nice salad. This is what I've, yeah, I've tried to wean myself

off the chicken Caesar wrapper M&S and I've started going for the super food, nutty, whole food salad. That's perfect. That's really good stuff. I'll try it out. It sounds shit compared to the Caesar. No, it's genuinely, it's quite a meaty salad.

It's sort of grains and nuts and bit of hummus if you get the other one here. But then you can offset that. with a bag of nutty clouds. Offset that bag of nutty clouds. When I'm eating in the car, I try and not get, try and get a box of grapes instead of sweets.

I eat them mechanically when I'm doing a drive. Basically, when I have sweets, I'll eat the full bag of sweets. I hate it. You know, sometimes I'll get a bag of sweets and I'll eat a chunk of them

and then I whang the bag of sweets into the passenger footwell so I can't get to it physically because I can't help myself but eat the entire bag. Do you know what I mean? And then obviously I'm leaning up I'm on the motorway, I'm leaning over, fatality risk high, trying to get a glacial mint.

Not just a sugar crash. You'll never catch me doing that. Me personally, I would never be seen eating a bag of sweets at my age. Yeah, sweets is, yeah. You'll never catch me doing that. If you do, shoot me in the back of the head. Nutty clouds. I don't eat sweets at all.

I eat cookies sometimes. Nutty clouds aren't sweets. They're adult chocolates. eating a bag of fantastics or whatever. Never going to happen. Not going to have no haribos for me, thank you. Eating a full colour of the caterpillar on the motorway. Look, long journeys, no food in the car.

Just coffee. Just coffee and your thoughts. Just concentrate on the road. Radio off, staring ahead, thinking, yeah, that's what I do. He's just, he's barebacking or whatever it's called, isn't he? Raw dogging. Raw dogging. Raw dogging.

Raw dogging. Raw dogging. It's the same thing, though, isn't it? He's barebacking. Is it? Sano Patel, bear back in the motorway. Sena Patel, bear back at the M1. The entire of the M1, entirety of the M1N, A1N.

I can't think of a single podcast I want to listen to, so I just have to raw dog it. One of the ones you're on? Yeah, I'm not going to listen to this again, am I? I've already been in it. I'm in it. You might want to. You say some things you might want to check.

I don't want him, I don't want him listening to this because then he'll start having an opinion on what gets kept to what doesn't. I don't want that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. that's why I don't listen to it. All right. Good. Countryside update.

That is a good one. Box of vegetables. What's going to be the clip from this, James? It better not be him putting his dick in a carrier bag. That's what you get on the Patriot. Should we do like a letter? Yeah. Maybe a lit, yeah?

I want to know consistently bombing on Radio 4 means in Sunil's section. Oh, well, I'm doing Catherine Bowhart's radio show on Radio 4 every week. over the summer. Does that mean it'll be available to listen to on BBC Sounds now? It will be, yeah. It's out every Friday night and Saturday morning, and it'll be on, it's called Too Long Didn't Read. It used to be called TLDR, but apparently the listenership doesn't really know what that acronym means. So ironically, they had to make it longer. Yeah, ironically, they had to make it longer. You knew what it meant, Chris, TLDR. It's like a Reddit term, isn't it? That's so, ever so Reddit. You seem like one of the Redditist men I've

ever met. Yeah. I started using, I started using Reddit and hated it and then stopped. But recently I found myself come back to it. The reason being the internet is so broken to use that when the only place you sort of get normal people talking about, no, not normal, but the only time you get people discussing people who know what they're talking about, yeah. Like things in a way that's easy to understand, like we got all this AI generated nonsense

adverts. Reddit takes you to like a person saying, I think this, which taken with a big pinch of soul can often be more informative than Google Gemini, the idiot that is Google Gemini. Correct. But yeah, so I'm on that. I'm doing. And is it going well? Well, I'm doing five minutes of sort of almost like a character I'm playing where I'm just basically an absolute moron. And it can be really funny, but there are times when they don't get the joke and they're just like turning on me. But I had to do one this week. It was very funny set is written by Madeline Brettingham, brilliant writer. She just wants so you think you're funny. So we worked together and figuring out what to say. This time, I had to go on

after John Bolton. Do you know who that is? The American. Yeah, the neocon. They are John Bolton on. Why? On a Zoom call. Security, like, security advisor to the Republican Party. Absolutely like, what an about turn for the audience. So, I mean, obviously we couldn't mention it. Isn't he being investigated by the FBI? Is he? What's he done now? Two-day news for John Bolton. Yeah. Current news. BBC. FBI searches home of Trump advisor turned critic John Bolton. Yeah, that's it. So he doesn't like Trump now. But he used to be, he used to like Trump. Yeah, he's the former attorney general, isn't he, of United States or something? And he went on that radio show and now he's being investigated. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. That was just days, that's just a couple of days after he was on the show and I had to do five minutes of stand-up talking about how much shagging I do.

So that's probably being investigated by the FBI. Oh, what an about turn to the about turn. Was he nice? Yeah, he's very charming. I think a lot of people who have been in politics for this long eventually end up sort of rehabilitating their image and being quite being investigated by the FBI. But I'll tell you what, it's a very interesting show to be doing,

especially when it's like quite serious commentators and people from the Financial Times or like politicians sometimes and then me having to come on for five minutes and be like, and women got high-pitch voices. This is funny though. It is funny, but the audience doesn't always get that harsh turn. Because they're always filled with, you're not allowed to sell tickets directly with these sort of things.

They have to be, they're like filled via lottery, basically, aren't they? Like, do you want to see a radio show? Yeah. A radio four show being recorded. So then you're getting only like a new slate of people. Yeah. That are probably, they're in London. They want to do a thing.

They just, they like, oh, I'll go to a radio recording. Whatever it is, it doesn't matter to them. And on the whole lovely people. I don't think people always know what they're in for when they get a ticket for something like that. I don't know who's going to be on it. I don't know what we're talking about. We decide two days before we do it. And it's been like a really fun job. Right, letters time. Yeah, read it. Okay, let's scroll down the letters. Should we just go for the next one in the list? Hold on, out the phone. Let me just scan it. Oh, yes. I would like this one. A letter from Dave.

Hi, chaps. Your request for mail in the last pod coincided with the return. of my favourite insert, where Chris L meant, oh, my internet's gone fucking hell. So I figured I'd get into... See, he does listen to it. Well, I listen to his voice. First off, love the podcast. I binged it like a bastard

during a particularly persistent bout of insomnia, and now I'm in the unfamiliar realms of having to wait for episodes. I'm lucky enough to span both town and country, living on the very edge of Sheffield. So I'm in the centre in 20 minutes. No leaks in my garden, but I've cultivated some excellent rhubarb.

I found Rotter-down horseshit made it like it was on steroids. Oh, right. I thought that was just a brag. I found Rotter down horseshit. Best to keep in with the manure suppliers, lads. Sonell, I don't know what to advise. Bucket and shovel outside Buckingham Palace.

As a man approaching 50, I'm beset by mild but different peeves. My current one is anyone at Wimbledon who starts a chant of Let's Play a Let's Go. Just fuck off. I think it means let's go, player, let's go. That's the chant, isn't it? Let's go. Oh, is that the chant of the tennis, is it?

Okay, right. Well, it's just a general. It sort of, it feels like a. It came from American football. Oh, I see. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's go team. Let's go.

Yeah, okay, got it. Keep up the splendid work, and when life calms down, I'll come see a live show. All the best, Dave. A charming letter from Dave, actually, Dave. What I like as well is this ticks off lots of core, rural concerns, listener. You know what I mean? The founders, Dave's founders during insomnia. That seems to be quite common.

Yeah, it does, isn't it? Yeah. Our listeners cannot sleep. also just a random tangent on something that annoys him this is what we are here for just need to tell us about your bin situation Dave yeah he didn't mention that that's a little suspicious

did we have any other things we wanted to ask listeners we were talking about it a couple of weeks well it was the TV size but that hasn't really taken off as much as we thought it would probably a lot of cord cutters oh you think laptop viewers you've got to have a telly guys come on

even to use it as a bad quality mirror do you have mates that don't have telies Yeah, I do actually. I remember a group of uni friends went around to a mate's house and he'd recently moved in with a long-term girlfriend and one by one as we arrived, people would sort of look around the living room and go, where's your tell it?

What are these fucking books doing here? Yeah, and he had a record player, that was it. My brother doesn't have a teller. He had like a projector for when they occasionally, like I think, like maybe this is in his old house, but he had a painted wall, big picture on it, took the picture off, left an unpainted, white patch of wall that the projector went straight onto.

It's very cool. But that just shows you the mindset of someone that doesn't really watch teleloads. Do you know what I mean? Like they'd crack that out intermittently. Where me and Nicola like, we've been threatening to have a board game night for seven years now. All through lockdown.

You know, we haven't done it. But I think we've got, I've come to terms with it because I'm like, my life's a mad life for being a traveling troubadour. Do you know what I mean? When I'm at home, I like watching a bit of telly. That's it.

Don't want to apologize. for that. I've just done a thing, which if currently feels like a mistake, we had Sky and we got rid of Sky and have just got like a Google TV thing. But the big problem is it doesn't, you don't just scroll through like a list of channels of what's on. Yeah. And we wouldn't necessarily watch what was on, but it was like that was with some background noise of the whatever channel it was already on from last time playing. There isn't that because it's just your app interface. And it's, yeah it's i'm still feeling unnerved i'm not sure it's worth 50 quid a week well you have to choose you have you have you have to deliberately choose don't you know yeah i should reduce your viewing

i need to remember what i want to watch i just stream live bbc yeah we live in it's our tv and because our chimney is booked we don't have an antenna like we like the antenna on the roof it basically is a job that needs to be so we don't have any sort of real live tv going through the antenna. So we live in a world of, you know, like if the app allows us to stream live TV, we can do it. Or are we going back? I want a list of all the different channels all in one place where I can just look at. Like, that's what I do when I want to watch telly is like look at the channel names. I don't do that. I watch that right now in my head, what have we got? Peacemaker, alien earth. These are the shows. Yeah, straight in.

I'll tell you what is good. On the Samsung telly I've got, they've got their own system of channels. So they've got all these channels, like, load to them. And one of them is just like 24-hour Mr. Bean. Oh, hello. Oh, one more right, then. One of them's 24-hour Jamie Oliver. Me and Amy Gledill popped up on the LG TV home screen, the Delightful sausage one on the homepage. So it was like, I was like, I don't know what to do in his newfound fame.

Is it next up's done a deal? It's next up, isn't it? Yeah, I think it's next up done a deal. I also think it's the show that we did where they didn't use a picture of both of us. they just put Amy Glider on and you're like, yeah, fair enough, so would I. Hey, guys, that was verbal concerns.

Wow, we had a good time. And just a reminder, you can get tickets. There's some left to our last live show of the year. It's on the 22nd of November 2025 at Fairfield Social Club in Manchester. And tickets for that show are in the notes. That's going to be great fun. Now, Edinburgh Fridge has done. Our mindset is shifting completely to the live show.

How? Like, it's almost how are we going to make this unprofitable? This is the question that's keeping me up. But can I also just remind you that I've got a radio show. It's called Ikewick FM. I've been working on it for about a year. It's now on, you can listen to it on BBC Sounds, the full series straight away. It's got this amazing cast in it.

Neither of them are on this podcast. That's fine, no. It doesn't hold us back. So, yeah, check it out. And the best way to support us here at Rural Concerns is to become a Rural Concerns, Patreon. Thank you to everyone who already does that at patreon.com forward slash Rural Concerns. And if you don't already do that and you go there and you start doing that, you will be supporting an independent podcast. and that means that we have the power to cut out massive swaves of things that promise,

I promise you, these two do not want in the final episode. You'll also get weekly bonus episodes where we talk about whatever we want and it's libelous and mad, I reckon probably. And also we'll get us banned from America. Stick around for a sneaky peek after the credits. Don't even say that as a joke. I'm cutting that out. We can say that as a joke.

The artwork for any episode is done by Poppy Hillstead. Didn't pay her any actual money. I appeared in her short film than nothing. Do you know what I mean? This is a skill swap trade. New music for the podcast, Sam O'Leary. Again, he was late doing what I'd asked him to do months ago

and hated doing every second of it. So he only charged me a tiny bit of money, largely just so I didn't bother him ever again. And you did let him draw your will. I did let him draw my willy. Legal due diligence is all the way overseas. Calderick, the entertainment lawyer that we keep or we retain for purposefully

just to make sure that we don't trample into any grey areas. Rural Concerns is edited by Joseph Fridge with AI in it Burrows and is produced by Egg Mountain for a lovely time productions. That was a great time. Lovely stuff.

Lovely stuff. From last episode. Oh no. Oh, not the same bottle of water over as last week. Same bottle. Same point in the episode. Yeah, mad that you just had that bottle of water.

One week between the recording. Yeah, and what's nice as we put the same t-shirts on. Don't ruin the magic of the podcast that we record sometimes two episodes at once just to buy us 17 minutes a piece between the deep and start recording again. Don't tell it, it'll break it. To buy us 17 minutes in which to put out some social posts. Let's get away from the admin of the podcast. Yeah, that's true.

James, I'd like to raise a point. Can we do what's saying? No. Okay.