Rural Concerns - Spider-goats, birthdays & the cursed mushroom

Episode Date: January 28, 2025

Sunil’s spending his birthday studying conflict, James is showing off about his kitchen skills and Chris poses an impossible question which leaves the lads reeling. Please let us know if you think this actually is like an episode of the Twilight Zone! Hey, yo! Chris is heading on a tour of the UK with his Edinburgh Comedy Award nominated show, Easily Swayed. He’s off to Gilsland, Edinburgh, Manchester (SOLD OUT), Leeds (BIGGER ROOM), Leicester, Bristol (SELLING FAST). Grab your tickets, here! Drop us an email at [e-mail] if you have a Rural Concern you’d like discussed! If you email, please remember to say if you would or would not eat the mushroom. The best way to support this educational podcast is through Patreon. For less than five quids you can get bonus episodes and access to our Discord community, The Creamery. Click here to start supporting Rural Concerns today! Our artwork is by Poppy Hillstead and the music is by Sam O’Leary. Rural Concerns is edited by Joseph Burrows and produced by Egg Mountain for A Lovely Time Productions.

Yo, yo, yo, are we ready? Yo, yo, yo, you're listening to Rural Concerns, a vibes-based podcast where three middle-aged lads air their grievances and occasionally remember to talk about what it's like to live in the countryside. My name is Chris Cantrell, and I'm the cheeky little boy of the podcast. My name is Sunil Patel, and I'm the dead-eyed, no-emotion robot of the podcast. My name is Producer James, and I'm the miserable, if you slag people off, then I'll just edit it out, dad of the podcast. All aboard! Next stop, another fun episode. miserable if you slag people off then i'll just edit it out dad of the podcast all aboard next stop another fun episode toot toot let's just get let's just record yeah just get it recorded

we're recording now yeah we are yeah i record. So we're actually recording this when The Traitors is on. Yes. See, fortunately, I've got a buffer of my wife also likes Love Island. So she's going to watch that until I've finished recording and can join to watch Traitors. Really wish I could understand Traitors. I just don't get it. Did you never play like Mafia or anything? No, I should have watched it from the beginning, but now I'm lost.

Well, it's not that complicated. No, but I can't jump in now everyone's the you know the storyline catch up just catch up it's only six episodes it's only six hours of your life with stuff like this as well it's like being part of the contemporary you know like stuff happening in real time and like when there's twists and turns and then you jump on social media and there's people like making jokes about it that's a big part of the fun it's i think it's a great show it's a great show because i think it's primarily the people that they have in the game and not what you would call great minds it's a game where you know like deal or no deal yeah where there is no logic to it. But all you do is put people in and wind them up and let them go.

They try to work out basically something. They're trying to work out something that I think is kind of essentially unknowable unless someone says something really stupid. And I stand up and I watch it, you know, like Alex Ferguson at the dugout. I stand up with my arms folded staring at it. I stand right next to the TV.

I've seen the photo, yeah. Yeah. It's strange. It's strange. It's the only thing that I do it like this with, you know, but I just get very invested in it. James, lead us, lead us. Chris.

Yes. What you've got, all of your notes that you've put for yourself on the document end in exclamation marks. So imagine they're all very exciting. No, I just put that in just to sort of G me up a bit, you know? Ah, I see. What does mushrooms mean? Yeah, what is mushrooms, exclamation mark?

Have you taken some or grown some? Neither. Oh. Eaten? Oh, no. Basically what it is, is for my birthday, I was given a book by one of my neighbours called, I think it's, I'll get the title right and put it in the comments,

but it's called, I think, My Entangled Life. Oh, I've got that on audiobook. I haven't heard it. I've just started reading it. What's it like? Very fascinating. Now we're talking. They're aliens, aren't they?

Mushrooms? Yeah. Blasted from an asteroid, asteroid perhaps i've not read the book really this is just me going off my gut reaction but they're basically like an integral part of life and i was just thinking i've got a hypothetical question for you both what if because mushrooms do all this mad stuff i remember going to a nature light day at the local at local local lake and there was a mushroom lady there who specialized in mushrooms and she had loads of examples and she was selling this type of mushroom that dried out uh you you use it as kindling do you know any fires to get your fires going yeah that makes sense for almost any dried mushroom, right? No, this was a special one that like caught fire very, I don't know, it's magic.

These mushrooms are magic. So then my other friend, the friend who gave me this book, gave me, like pointed out this big clump of mushroom on a tree, one that was real meaty and you could cut it off. And he was like,

there, if you fry that up and eat that, you can eat that. Now he said the only thing. And he was like, there, if you fry that up and eat that, you can eat that. Now he said the only thing was that he was like, basically eat it quite quickly before the maggots are set in, that the maggots are like kind of an inevitability of something being harvested from outside. And I did eat it, but the idea, and I know that that's just the modern world of,

I know that that's the natural world of foraging food, that flies and maggots and stuff are like part of the process and we just have this sterilized version in the shops, but it did put me off a little bit. Do you know what I mean? I couldn't fully commit to it mentally. You're sort of picking through it for maggots then? Yes, which did take some of the sheen off the exciting thing of foraging.

But I've got, my mushroom journey is starting from here. I'm just going to read. I'll feed in some information when something cool happens. But I've got a hypothetical question for you. All right, go on then before I show you this product. So what if there's this mushroom that grows and you harvest, it can only be harvested in a very remote part of the sort of Cumbrian wilderness once every few years and it only ever produces three mushrooms.

Yeah. Right. So you've got this mushroom that's very rare, very expensive to cultivate. Yeah, yeah. It takes a lot of manpower to find it. It's expensive. So if they've got three It takes a lot of manpower to find. It's expensive. So if they've got three of these mushrooms, we all get given one.

And if you were to eat this mushroom, you would get a head of hair as thick as it's ever been. And it'll stay like that until you die. All your teeth will drop out like a baby's, but be replaced with brand new shiny white adult teeth, you know, like a third set just to, so, so you've got that.

And basically, basically you're the same age, but genetically you would like the, the, the doctor be like, well, I've just done your tests and you, you looked,

you're 28. Do you know what I mean? So that's, that's what can happen if you have this mushroom, but. Sounds great. But. Oh.

By the act of taking it, you forget everyone you've ever met before. So we would be on this call. We've had this mushroom. We sat there. We were big, thick hair and amazing, brand new, box-fresh white teeth. Yeah.

And I'm like, who are you two? Do you know what I mean? I don't think I bother. My hair's all right. My teeth is fine. And I've got the testosterone of a 21 year old you had your testosterone checked again i've talked about it repeatedly on this podcast he's brim he's bristling with it i'm brimming with it yeah brimming i'm overflowing my cup of testosterone overfloweth i want to fucking fight and fuck everyone no that's not. He has to spit four times an hour.

Otherwise he'll drown in it. I have too much spit. So that's a bit of a hypothetical situation. So Jim, what do you think of these things? Would you take the cursed chalice of this rare mushroom? It's an interesting question, isn't it? It's like a riddle. This is like one of those, you know,

those actual thinking puzzles. It's very clever, isn't it? Right, okay, James, just quickly answer it and let's go into why technically this is a bad question. I don't think I would do it because I've got children. That's it, exactly. You've both got children. Obviously you're going to say no.

But could I beforehand write stuff down? That's worse. That's worse. Can I look at pictures? This is your child. Like Memento? Yeah, like Memento, like the film Memento. Even if you wrote it down, you wouldn't remember it. You wouldn't feel it. You'd just

be like, that's reading about someone else's family on a bit of paper. I didn't't go into detail but in order to consume the mushroom you need to fully decove and enter a sacred circle so no you won't be able to write all down and your clothes will be burned afterwards there you go good question i think chris i i okay i would okay i will for argument's sake i'll take it but i actually think like james i actually think i would remember i would actually remember because you just built different i know you're saying you won't but i actually would that's what i'm saying because i'm built different you'd simply remember i think you two are liars i think you would know i would i'd be on this call and have this

luscious massive top knot and my son would come in and i'd be like good day to you sir and he'd be like you've got an amazing you sir. And he'd be like, you've got an amazing smile. You haven't forgotten how the world works or anything like that. You've just forgotten all your human interactions. But then how would you still know how the world works? Well, this is like, it's basically like an episode of the Twilight Zone.

It's not one of the good ones though, is it? You've got, Jamesames you've got it's not like you know monster on the on the plane wing one or james you've got everything you ever wanted but there's a twist i've got nothing that i like did you say there were three of these mushrooms? Yeah, it wouldn't be dangerous. Fucking idiot. Maybe the listeners should email in whether they would, or pop in the Discord, would they take the vanity mushroom? Hair, teeth, body. Subject heading, am I a psychopath? Subject heading headed cursed mushroom and if you can email

if you can email that to to Christopher at a lovely time dot com dot UK and we can finally put this to bed

what do you mean finally to pay off something that's probably been cut from the last episode Sunil you can tick off engagement from your little piece of paper now oh my goodness that's our engagement section done

done that's the mushrooms done that's where I am with my mushroom studies is that in is there a mushroom like that is that in the book well no I've read one paragraph I've read one paragraph. He's read very little of it. I've read one paragraph of the foreword.

It feels like your mind drifted. Chris, you've read one paragraph of the foreword, and when I said they're aliens, you were like, yes, absolutely. Mushrooms and octopuses are beings that were not innate to this planet they've crashed here on asteroids look it up okay yeah can i share a couple of 4chan links in the discord please of course yeah absolutely anytime all right okay okay that was that was that deserved the exclamation mark you know chris next point though next point please point of order next point next point should you want a senile point or a chris point i did quite a lot of points on the last one but i can pick up some points if chris wants me to do

some points instead of one of the things he's got there. What do you want me to talk about? 24 microfiber cloths for eight quid. Oh, hello. Yes, please. What's microfiber? It's like a special cloth that like really does a good job of cleaning and that. Does it though? Yeah, it does. Doesn't it?

It's got more surface area than any other cloth or something like that. But a duster. Oh, I'm using it to clean up black mold. Oh. Yeah. Boom. And car window. So I got a deal for 24 microfibre.

This is not a bit in the podcast. This is not a bit. I can't stretch this out beyond saying I got 20. It does have an exclamation mark on it, though. I was happy with the deal. I got excited as well, like Chris. I just wrote it down thinking, you know, this is something to riff on. But it's not.

It's just 24 microfiber cloths for 8 quid this is like this is the arrogance of the comedy podcast devotees especially in podcasting we've gone mad

we think we can spin anything into gold but sometimes we think yeah this will probably be gold do you think that Mozart did the sixth symphony

by just drawing like a double clef or something and be like, I'll figure it out on the day. No, look. Okay. Look, the backstory is obviously I need to prepare for, I'm going to buy a few things for the house.

Now I'll be living alone in a couple of weeks time. I don't like the idea of you living alone. Helen was very, Helen was very good for you mentally. What? Absolutely the opposite, I think. And she listens to this podcast. No, she kept a close eye on you. She was in your business but this is... I don't need a close eye. Why do I need a close eye on me? Because otherwise you just, I don't

know. Is this about the leaf? Excuse me? Well, the leaf that she found in my room. I didn't know about this. He has mentioned the leaf. I have and then she found a worm but i'm pretty sure she brought the worm in yeah yeah do you think under my watch there would be a leaf or a worm in my house no but i also think there'll be i also think there'll be there'll be one plate and one fork and one knife this is the sand this is why i'm asking listeners for cutlery tips and

obviously i've got enough plates now. I've got given some plates. The only thing I need is microfiber cloths, a sofa, a coffee table, microwave, air fryer. That's all I need. Bin.

I need a bin as well. A life of a modern bachelor. What? Yeah. If I, if, if anything goes, like,

that sounds, it's good to hear about your life. And some fruit. Yeah, go on. But all I'm saying is, it's good to hear about your life. And some fruit. Yeah, go on. But all I'm saying is, if I had to go from my marital life and sharing my life as a couple to living on my own with just those seven things that you've listed. And?

Oh, the telly. Perfect teeth, great hair. Oh, yeah. Locking body. Then I would, do you know what I mean? Chris, I'll tell you what, I'll take that mushroom if you chuck in a short throw projector as well. Me and Sonny will have a friend who got divorced

and his life sort of started playing piano in Euston Station and got his nose pierced. Do you know what I mean? I was like, I was like, I can't, I can't support this. I just held Nicola's hand,

do you know, for a week and was like, but you've, you've never lived, you've never lived alone. No, but I did have a big, I've always lived with flatmates and then I lived with Nicola,

but I think there was a bit of me where I was like, I would like to live alone. And a lot of times as a, as a married man with a small child, it's an urge I get repeatedly. Do you know what I mean? Because I think the older I get, the older I get, the more I settle into my self-diagnosed neurodivergence. I'm like, I just like to be on my own for a bit.

I don't, I mean, I like it, but obviously I do get quite scared of the dark and stuff and being alone in the flat sometimes because I'm scared of like ghosts and that. But you'd have it way worse if you're up there on your own. I don't get scared of the dark, no. Oh. What?

Lives in a dark skies area. Doesn't even give a shit. Edit that out, James. Edit all that out. Edit out the bit where I said I was scared of the dark because you can live on your own in London Sunil

because you're never more than you know a metre away from a rat and people and also people and he lives on a red route

so when he expires they'll just chuck him out onto the street just wait for the bus to open and open the blinds I used to live on a red route

over a domino's. What a life. Hell in the day. What did, what did it, James, point of order. What did he say about Domino's?

He lived on top of it. Not, not what I, it was, I counted it. It was 30 steps. I tell you what I, in terms of my life,

I am so over the moon. I don't live within like deliveroo just eat or whatever it's not a thing up here how do you so what do you do you just plan you go to that garage or it drives to the court 40 minutes away like there are takeaways 12 minutes and eight minutes there's a fish shop eight minutes away driving on this is driving on the air road but can I okay let me give you both a hypothetical

it's 12 at night midnight you're hungry yeah what have you done what are you gonna do toast slice of toast

yeah toast at a big food cupboard where there is like you know spare food what spare food are we talking is it dried goods

it's dried goods i can i can rustle up a decent pasta based like carbonara type thing quite simply so you've always got eggs and bacon and cream is that what you're saying it's not cream it's eggs sorry it's eggs bacon and parmesan thank you come on but sometimes yeah you do find yourself eating like just Ritz crackers or whatever. On the handful of occasions I've come home trollied, it's like stuffed crust Chicago town pizza from the garage. Oh, right. No, but I'm trying to, I'm on a health kick now,

so I'm trying to not even do that. I'm not eating biscuits. Me and my wife, me and Nicola are not eating biscuits and sweets. And I tell you, tensions in the household are high. Oh my God, what's that? These biscuits are, and I don't want to talk about,

I know I talk about a different type of food item almost every episode that I've become addicted to in some form. But these malted milks, milk chocolate malted milks, I'd never had them until maybe a month ago. Are they good? What company? Who makes them? Sainsbury's.

Sainsbury's own brand. That's a recommendation. Chris is just texting. Sorry. I'm just, Nicola's, basically now we're recording this in Nicola's bedroom so she's like, when can I go to bed? I'm like, podcasting done,

podcasting done, gun, gonna keep going, babe. You know what I mean? Well, should we do a letter then? No, no,

no, no. Let's have a, let's just keep having balance. She can stay up. She can, you know, she can do some knitting.

All right. It's my birthday next week. Oh, is it? What are you doing? I was having this discussion with good old James Gill. I know James Gill. Yeah. And we've settled on at this age just settle for a ham sandwich and skyfall on blu-ray nice that's a good choice what birthday is it 40 fucking hell 44 no same here same here

what are you chris 41 yeah? Yeah. I won't lie. I'm sort of super depressed about just feeling that things, do you know what I mean? Like life's slipping by. Have I done enough stuff? But I think my life is sort of, I don't think, I think basically my 20s, I didn't perhaps utilize them to a high standard,

but my kind of my life is kind of a silly adventure. Do you know what I mean? I don't know what I am. Am I happy? I don't know. Is this happiness? Well, I don't think you should optimize for, for happiness. I don't think that's it.

I just want people to say this guy looks like Paul Rudd. That's not happiness though, is it? No. Where's this mushroom? Where's this mushroom? Where's this mushroom? Give me the mushroom. Goodbye, everybody. I've never met you before.

Well, what kind of skincare routine are you on now then? If you want to look like Paul Rudd. I don't want to look like Paul Rudd. You're doing those little under eye things. That everyone's doing on Instagram, the little gold. The little gold things that go on your eye bags. I need to sort mine out. My bags are getting bags.

I'm really concerned. I told you we should have gone after dinner. We should have got some under-eye stuff. Surgery. Chris, do you consider yourself to be a comedian? What do you mean? Because I haven't said anything funny since... No, because you're moaning about yourself,

but you're a comedian and you've been nominated for the Edinburgh Comedy Award. Oh, don't. You don't need to. Don't. You don't need... This is not a...

It's at least twice. James, this is... I appreciate it. This is not a crisis chat. I'm actually fine. I'm stronger than ever. I'm just... I want to make sure...

I've just taken delivery of this mushroom. He keeps looking at Paul Rudd. I want to make sure that we are living life to the maximum. That's all I'm just, I want to make sure. I've just taken delivery of this mushroom. He keeps looking at Paul Rudd. I want to make sure that we are living life to the maximum. That's all I'm saying. So when we're in Mac, but thing is, I think I drank a bit over Christmas. I don't think drinking is, I don't think drinking is part of having a good time in that way.

Do you know what I mean? I don't think it's more nights out like that. I think I need to do something drastic. You were the only one that had an alcoholic drink on our dinner yeah i did dinner you had a special little cocktail yeah you had a little cocktail do you know what it was lovely but it was sweet so it was once he found out we had a discount yeah that was that's literally it i was like yeah hit the discounts at 50 hit the cocktails at 50% off. Absolutely. And it was happy hour.

Yeah. And it was happy hour. I wouldn't pay nothing for this cocktail. Well, no, because we split the bill. Yeah, we split it fairly. Yeah, did we split it equally? I'm going mad on cocktails. We subsidised your cocktails.

Yeah, yeah. But I did eat quite a lot of the sides. And when you went to the toilet, I ate some of your food. What? What? That's why that woman was staring at you. That's, again, the other episode. I wouldn't have chosen,

but James suggested we get some octopus balls and they were some of the nicest things I've tasted. They were really somewhat special. Really somewhat special. What is it? What do you call? Takoyaki. Takoyaki.

Yeah, that was really cool. We should have another meeting soon in that restaurant. We should be eating Japanese food. Here is the city bit. Anyway, for my birthday I'm going to Imperial War Museum. Nice. Best bit? Modern. Modern?

Modern. Riot shields, grenades, landmine. Video games. Video games, yeah, drones. I saw an Instagram post saying they replaced the periscope controls for a submarine with Xbox controllers. That's pretty cool. I was reading about spider goats. Spider goats.

Do you know when genetically spiders have been cross-bred with goats to produce to produce industrial quantities of web because web scale is obviously stronger than kevlar we all know this so apparently some scientists are working on a genetic hybrid of a goat and a spider where the milk produces spiders web on a bigger scale. I was saying this to somebody and they were looking at me like, you know, I'm like, I'm a thick idiot. Right, I've just asked the AI.

I've just written goat and spider hybrid. AI is not the fourth presenter of this podcast. And the AI has responded, I aim to understand, are you looking for me to help visualise or create art well thank you

for the compliment I guess it is but basically do you think there's basically people there's fringes of society that are doing mad stuff do you know like

there's like human rights do you know there's human rights like conventions and stuff that stop us like editing the genome and stuff. There's people in the background in like off-grid places that are messing with human DNA. Chris, you've dreamt this. This isn't true.

This isn't real. It's a good idea. It's a nice idea. Right. I've just looked up. We're going to do a letter now. All I'll say is, we're going to do a letter now. All I'll say is, all I'll say is,

sit tight on this one and we'll come back to it. No, no. Let's circle back because you can't go on this podcast and say scientists have bred spiders with goats to make more webs. Right?

Because that's not true. Just a normal goat with tits of a spider. Normal goat with tits like a spider. What are they going to do? Just type that in right look this will be biologically impossible since they're very different types of animals belonging to completely separate filler okay too distantly related for any kind of direct breeding they've

inserted spider silk genes into goats that's what they've done okay so is that not exactly what the fuck i just said yeah but no you were saying you were saying it like they got a goat and a spider to fuck. No, no, no, no. That's it. But do you not think it's fucked that they're making genetic hybrid of spiders and goats? They're not doing that. They've put some spider silk genes into goats. Son of a...

That is genetic tampering. That's not just happened at random. Oh, I see. I see that's what you're saying. You're saying let's not tamper. That's not just happened at random. Oh, I see. I see that's what you're saying. You're saying let's not tamper with God's creations. I'm saying that AI is going to fail because ultimately it'll be scraping. We're putting this podcast out into the world. And this podcast, ChatGPT is going to scrape it for data.

And it's basically, if you can't see what I can see, that ChatGPT is basically the H it for data. And it's basically, if you can't see what I can see, that chat GPT is basically the Hindenburg falling to earth slowly because it's being fed bollocks about magic mushrooms that can make you young. Do you know what I mean? This is... We differ on our views on AI, James, you see. He thinks it's nonsense. I think we've got six months left.

You have shown yourself to be susceptible to grifts you have shown yourself to be closed-minded to a bit like an old man i do actually i have actually gone into this year thinking because i've got a son a lot of the modern world it i'm computer savvy i'm computer literate but like with my son playing computer games and stuff like this you know like he's playing computer games you stuff like this, you know, like he's playing computer games, you know, like wants to play stuff like Fortnite. He's not playing Fortnite, but he's on stuff like Roblox. And like,

these are creepy, creepy games that have like predatory online elements to it. And that bit I found very confusing and I've not engaged with it, but I came into this year being like, I have to get my head in the game with stuff like this and AI, and I'm going to start watching more videos on YouTube because I can't become like a technical pariah. It's just the world feels very crazy.

But if you don't see that ChatGPT, all it's making is it's very advanced predictive text. And for some reason, all it's doing is it's very advanced predictive text and for some reason all it's doing is hoovering money it's not really producing anything I think that's just one element of the things that are happening out there

James you're right, Sunil's been suckered in and we need to move on, we need to do a letter shame on you Sunil for trying to get people into your AI grift it's no grift. I'm not asking for any money. I'm just saying, if you remain open-minded about it, it could be very interesting. That's all I'm saying. There's nothing,

there is no more reasonable position than that, than mine. Yours is unreasonable. Thank you. Is that the letter? Should we do a letter? Sunil, we've had some letters. There's a quick one to open with. Do you want to read it? Hello, hashtag lads that's good i like that no read the one above that okay this is a letter from chris's mom she hasn't said hello

it just says nine pound fifty for glue wine in covent garden four five exclamation marks and then no outro no that's it i was going through the i'm a bit behind on the inbox so i've been catching up so this is one that came in over christmas when my mum and dad were down in england and telling james off so yeah glue vine apparently nine pound fifty in common garden there you go thanks mom is she sure that doesn't include the mug that you take back with the deposit or is that actually nine pound fifty i don't know but what i wasn't keen to do is open it up for rebuttal but there but there we go. Oh, that's just the subject line? No, no, that's the email. That's the email.

Thanks, Mum. Now, do you want to read this one? Next one is from Barry. He says, Hello, hashtag lads. Good opening, Barry. Strong. Hashtag lads. I like that a lot.

First things first. 72 MBPS down, 18.5 up. More on that in a minute. Standard. Second things second, though. Deep breath. More on that in a minute. Standard. Second thing second, though. Deep breath. Black wheelie bin for general waste, green box for cans slash plastic,

black box for glass slash paper, brown caddy for food waste slash ducks. Good reference. Green wheelie bin for garden waste that we have to pay extra for, and a weird blue sack thing for cardboard that disintegrates every 18 months so i have to buy a new one or let's be real steal from the next road along on the way back from the

pub okay can we just chip in there a lot of info there i instantly like barry a great deal he's he's got into the he's got into the core of what this podcast about and has admitted to casual theft this is my kind of guy. This is your show. The only thing is, I would say that he must live in a city. If he's got a box, a black box for glass and paper. He does say where he lives. Okay, right. Okay, we'll keep that as a surprise.

Anyway, go on. Anyway, I had this broadband offer through the post this week, and I'm sorely tempted to grab the maximum tier, join the Patreon, and rock it to the top of the leaderboard. The only problem is that it would ruin me financially, and my wife is not keen on us paying £1,800 a year just to impress some people on a message board. She could be right, I think.

Now, do you think the Creamery community would consider crowdfunding my 7GB broadband dreams? Maybe I could download massive files in seconds and post them out on a USB stick to those with dog shit internet. That's me. That's from Barry in Bristol. P.S. My wife and I had a baby recently,

so in the hunger for late night content, I made the dubious decision to listen to the entirety of Rural Concerns over the past two weeks. Not entirely sure what it's done to my already slender grip on reality, but I've had a lot of fun. Thank you, Barry.

Nice one, Barry. I like the cut of this guy's jib. This is, again, another listener who has binged it in its entirety in kind of a fugue state. This seems to be an oncoming type of person. Basically crazy people that keep listening to that. I have to listen to these episodes once or twice like sort of type of person, basically crazy people that keep listening to that. I can't, I have to listen to these episodes like once or twice to like get the,

I couldn't, I couldn't do like 20 hours or something like that. That's, that's insane. Do we just have soothing voices or something? I think two of us do. I don't think that's what it is. That's a very interesting,

lots of interesting stuff in there i very much like the concept of trying to get a patreon discord server to pay for somebody's high speed broadband i like it there's an interesting thought process going on there it's a crowdfunder how much is 1800 quid a year that's a lot of money this will be something he lives in as you said didn't you he lives in bristol so this is peace and okay so he lives in a he's got a little box for his card and his glass okay this is peace this is bristol that makes sense bristol so if he's getting some if he's getting some crazy top tier thing also again this highlights another ongoing theme in his podcast when people write in exasperated wives this is do you know i you know what I mean? There's a lot of

poor women putting up with a lot of stuff off a lot of quite... trying men. I would like to have more letters and communication with these exasperated wives if possible. Why? So if you are an exasperated wife... Why? What are you up to?

Hey, all these losers keep emailing in. Can the hot milfs please get in touch directly? But it would be a good idea to hear from them. Like, you know, what's the exact problem with the internet and stuff like that? And, you know, that's all I'm saying. What's their take on the bins?

If you are the partner of somebody that listens to this podcast and you are often not against your choice forced to listen to us we would love to hear your views yeah I think we do we need the balance I think tell us exactly why we are such fucking

losers if you want and we'll clap back it's called engagement would you take that mushroom that Chris described earlier And we'll clap back. Yeah. It's called engagement. Would you take that mushroom that Chris described earlier? That's all we want to know. That's the only thing we want to know. Would you, any wives out there, take the mushroom that gives you a good thick full head of hair?

Great teeth. Fresh teeth. And the body of a 28-year-old boy. Thank you for writing in, Barry. Thanks, Barry. We appreciate the listen and taking the time to get in touch with us. It means a lot. He must have had so many adverts for Joker 2, Folly or Doom.

Folly it has. Yeah. I'm paying good money out of my pocket to make sure we keep those adverts in. It's coming out. Do you know what I mean? It must have hit digital download. It must have as soon as it hit the cinema. Yeah.

Very much the anti-conclave, which is very much the June 2 of 2025. Thank you for listening to World of Concerns. We appreciate you listening to us bang on about DIY and desserts and that. If you'd like to go the extra mile, it'd be really brilliant if you could drop us a five-star review on Spotify or Apple apple podcast but it has to be a five-star review and what happens if it's not a five-star review we'll go to the police and say that you cut down sycamore gap and if you have a real concern that you would like us to discuss please email us when you would like at christopher at a lovely time.co.uk we We'll look at it. We'll respond to it if we can. We'll have a good time.

And if you are the put-upon partner of a listener, do write in. Rural Concerns was edited by Joseph Tamagotchi Burrows. Our music is by Sam O'Leary. Our artwork is by Poppy Hilston. Rural Concerns was produced by Egg Mountain for A Lovely Time Productions. Thank you. Release the doves.

Yeah, a thousand doves are flying in the room now. It's insane. It's insane that we're doing this for every podcast and this is the first time we mentioned it. Crazy. But it reminds me of, I've done jury duty several times. Tell us about all the cases, please. Yes. I did it twice and I got called up for a third time.

Because you were just so good. They were like, this guy is good. I basically cried and they let me off on the third time because I was like, I can't do it again. I think it was when I had basically summer. I was working on something something kind of cool, like back in the day. And I was just like,

I can't, I can't, it's messing with my work and stuff. And she forgave me. So now I think that means that I can't be called up again. Do you know? Because three, if I'd have been called up a third time,

that would have been the maximum amount of times. Can you not get off it by saying you're racist? Is that just America no but they're like show me what's on your phone and they're like I'm listening to Cyprian and they know it's bullshit

bong like that