Ryth - The Dumbest TikTok Life Hacks.

Episode Date: March 16, 2025

The Dumbest TikTok Life Hacks.

All right people, what's up? Today we're checking out the worst TikTok life hacks by Jordan Flom. Flom, I don't really give a shit, really. Sure, I have a shitty pronunciation of his name, but I promise his life hacks are even shittier. It's only been about four seconds in this video, and I've already found three mistakes. First off, put them fucking dogs away. Second thing is, why are you cooking a bunch of popcorn kernels on an actual grill? Are you not able to afford a $20 popcorn machine?

I would think so if you can afford a fucking grill. And finally, where the hell is your spatula? I can see that you were using a fly swatter, which I pray to God you weren't using before. But holy shit, if this video doesn't scream cheapest millionaire, then I don't know what does. I'm gonna bring it right over. Look at all these little marks that is popping.

Oh my gosh, hey, hurry, we're losing so much. So you're telling me with a house like this, you can't afford a popcorn machine. Either that or you're too fucking lazy to order some shit off Amazon. And also, nice job with the tin foil. Sure, it's the biggest fucking Jimmy Rig ever. And sure, you can definitely make this problem a whole lot easier. But hey, you're making popcorn.

That's all that matters. Oh, my. Hey, look, it's dumb fuck. Maybe a quick word of advice. Turning off the grill and scraping this shit into your bowl would actually help. I know you feel very fucking special and you don't want anybody to pop your bubble right now. I can assure you this popcorn problem was solved over a hundred years ago. What the fuck is he doing?

Is he doing penis enlargement on his backyard? At this point, I'm putting nothing past this guy. Wait, zip to zipper and butt in the pants. It's like sewing. I think it's like wasting a pair of fucking pants and breaking a lawnmower. Motherfucking, you can't walk your lazy ass down 15 minutes to J.C. Penny and buy yourself some jeans. I kind of give hats off to this guy for at least being a little creative for TikTok. Because, I mean, why wouldn't this get 50 million views on TikTok?

But holy shit, I want to know this guy's thought process of making a video. He looks at his jeans and he looks at a lawnmower and he says, yeah, that's a video idea. Honestly, I kind of envy his creativity. But either way, these life hacks are fucking awful. Horses in pieces. You can't even do this. The back looks really good. Johnny, please, shut the fuck up.

He looks homeless as shit. I can see his fucking ass cheat. Oh yes, baby, that's fucking sexy. Bro, women are finding anything sexy nowadays. I know I'm pausing the video again, but this is sinful. You are dipping a Louis Vuitton bag in what is this, fucking cement or some shit? As a person that really is into clothes, bags, and shoes, and all that other materialistic shit, which I honestly shouldn't be, and neither should you guys.

Looking at this video brings me so much pain and sorrow. And it's not even my bag, and that's the sad part. Okay. Oh, it's hard. There we go. And here comes. I'm gonna keep it right here. Look, oh wow.

But these straps are in here, man. Your veins. It's popping loose. There we go. Rolling it off. A little bit of gold. I just can completely cover it. I know you guys can't see me right now, but my fists are shaking in the fucking air.

You guys might think that you're a roller coaster of emotions in middle school. Oh! You have seen nothing compared to what I'm feeling. right now. My depression during middle school? What the fuck is that? The feelings that I'm feeling right now should not be felt by anybody. Okay, so now how do we use this? You're gonna put it right in there. Look at this. Yep, I want everyone to tell me if you think my wife will like this surprise. So this is his wife's bag. Oh shit, somebody's sleeping on the couch tonight. If I were this man's wife, he would be fucking killed, murdered. You'll see my ass on the news for fucking homicide. Doing that shit to my Louis Vuitton. would piss me off. I know what some of you are thinking this is for.

I'm thinking of something very sexual. Apparently we're reacting to part two of this video. I'm kind of glad I didn't see part one. A little tripod. I'm going to go to this app right here. And you want to make sure it just barely touches. It's going to just swipe. Wow, this is going to change the world, I think.

You'll have thousands of matches. And there you go. I think this guy is thinking with this. second head and not his main head. How do you get so horny to the point you need weenies to swipe right for you on Tinder? Imagine getting to message a girl being like, oh, why did you swipe right on me? Nah, it wasn't me. It was a fucking weenie. Please don't tell me that's an actual couple on Tinder. Oh shit, that's got to be embarrassing as fuck. Please don't tell me he's about to take a shit in public. I'm sorry, maybe it's just me, but is this glue even necessary? I never thought that you had

It's such a limited supply of dirt you actually need to savor the only dirt you have on top of a fucking toilet seat. Actually, I take that back. This whole fucking thing is stupid. Why is there a toilet seat? Why are you on the beach? Why are you about to take a public shit? We want a little ledge. This is not building a toilet.

I mean, thank you for clearing that up. But it still doesn't justify why you have a toilet seat on the beach. I can't possibly think of any other way that you can use a toilet seat without looking like a weirdo. If these are primal TikTok life hacks, I'm sure we're going to learn a lot of shit today. If I had to make an assumption of what this guy is creating, I would assume it to be a cooler. I don't think this guy realizes you can buy like a styrofoam cooler at Walmart for about $5. Instead of paying $25 for a toilet seat that you're only going to use once, It would only make sense to get the $5 styrofoam cooler.

Because more often than not, you're not going to go to the beach every single day. I mean, I haven't gone to the beach since like late 2019. But this toilet seat is such a shitty investment. The most important part. Now we're going to take this. Come right over here. Right on top. And then completely bury it.

Well, fuck my thighs and call me Einstein. We got ourselves. a genius. Okay, but what happens when you like forget where you put your shit? Audience, I'm sure you know the phrase out of sight, out of mind. When you're surfing and catching the fucking waves, I highly doubt you're thinking about your phone that's underground. All this motherfucker did is make buried treasure for some little kid 500 years later to discover. And boy, is he going to be confused when he finds a toilet seat covering it all. You're going to take a box fan. You're going to place it right there. Place it right there.

Here, go right down there, right there. Last one, zip ties. All the way down, and you're gonna pull it. There's now one solid piece. I feel like this is the only life hack video that actually isn't that bad, but I know, I know we're not at the end of the video. I'm just curious how he's gonna fuck this up.

Right here, you take these right here, it's on my front, just like that. One big battery. See? And that is how you fuck off in the sunset with style. You know, buying an electric scooter or maybe using your foot to generate some kinetic energy. Nah, baby, that is the thing of the past. Shut the fuck up.

You got a skirt down the road with six Home Depot fans strapped to your fucking back. Now this is what I like to call the Industrial Revolution. Fucking idiots. If you're making this to prank a homie, then you are a fucking fiend. If anybody were to do that to my toilet seat, I will personally give you the the John F. Kennedy treatment. I will fucking Oswald your ass. All the way over here. So I'm going to set the camera back up. Take this homemade pasta. Notice how it collects all the pasta perfectly.

Take this lid. You're gonna bring it down and give it a good push. You can pick it up. Bring it right to the kitchen. I think I've seen enough today. Like seriously, I've seen enough. I gotta go take a shit. Anyways, audience, please click the video on screen. I promise you'll love it. But anyways, yeah, subscribe.