Ryth - The Stokes Twins Are Braindead.

Episode Date: August 19, 2024

The Stokes Twins Are Braindead.The Stokes Twins. The most recent YouTuber that blew up on YouTube Shorts and TikTok are also producing some of the cringiest videos YouTube and TikTok have ever seen. Today we check out The Stokes Twins and their cringe YouTube Shorts and TikTok's to see if their incredible blowup over the past couple weeks is ACTUALLY deserved..

If you can break these three boards with a one inch punch, then you win this mystery briefcase. Oh my god, dude, what the f*** happened to you? Look at this guy literally a few years ago and now he's built like a fucking lowercase beat. Wooo! Shut the fuck up, you Shamoo! You really think your puny f*** was gonna do anything with that punch? I can guarantee you Bruce Lee's flaccid wiener under a waterfall is stronger than you. Frikin weak-ass p-se.

Alright, people, what's up? Today, the Stokes Twins are just going crazy today. Lately the Stokes Twins, if you haven't known already, has been blowing up on YouTube over the past few weeks. I mean, like, seriously, these guys are gaining around 400k fucking subs a day. So you might be wondering, surely they're posting some groundbreaking content, surely some shit that all of us should be watching. Yeah, that's a fucking lie.

Can a car window chop off your finger? Way too close! That's right, ladies and gentlemen. the content brought before your eyes is the reason their channel is getting 400,000 subscribers a day. Now, audience, never have I ever thought throughout my YouTube career that I would be seeing channels growing at this fast of rate? But you know what's even crazier audience is that I never thought the YouTube channels will be growing at such a fast rate over some dog shi-f-fucking slop content like this? Like seriously, this video has gotten over 150 million fucking views or something. And all you have to do, ladies and gentlemen, you could do this.

content yourself all you have to do is just put your finger inside of a car window and then pull your finger back like a pussy literally these videos require no thought process no budget of money no nothing and guess what if you make it interesting somehow some way you get 150 million views in a few days the time to become a millionaire has never been easier because look at these fucking moron first we're going to try this hot dog and work her way up to my finger There's no way I cuss through a cucumber. Is it just me, or is the reactions in these videos like way too overhyped? Like audience, I'm watching these videos with one hand on my mouse and my other hand on my fucking wiener because it itches.

Basically, what I'm trying to say here is that nothing in this video is getting me jumping out of my fucking seat and screaming like these kids. Holy fucking shit, a car window can actually cut through a cucumber. No fucking way. Like, where the fuck is the comedy? like I can walk down the hallway. Open my bathroom door and then windmill my fucking wiener in the mirror, and I would somehow find more entertainment out of that than this fucking video. We actually cut that.

Now we're going to try. My, I'm going to hear this guy. Audience, you have no idea how much I fucking hate this guy. If there's one guy that I can just delete from the entire Stokes Twins crew, it would be this fucking nerd right here. I have yet to see this guy in a single Stokes Twins video where he just, doesn't act like a fucking weirdo. I mean, maybe that's just his character in the Stokes Twins videos to give off sex offender vibes.

But every time this dude comes on screen, I literally just want to jump off a fucking 10-story building. Shut the fuck up. This is the closest resemblance of a human finger. That has got to be the biggest amount of bull's... I've ever seen. Ladies and gentlemen, whenever you think about a human finger, do not compare it to a fucking carrot.

Because if the human finger has the similar bone structure to a carrot, and if my weiner has the similar bone structure to a finger, all that basically tells me is that I'm never going to have intercourse with a woman ever, because if anything goes wrong.

Ladies and gentlemen, I'm f***ed. I am infertile. I'm never having kids. I want to happen to my finger. And now, my finger. Wait, you guys better subscribe if I'm risking my finger. guys actually think this fucker's gonna do it oh god guys somebody subscribe dude shut the fuck up everybody

knows you're not going to do this shit fucking whiny ass pussy always complaining for subscribers subscribers i'm just kidding nothing happened ha ha ha I got 40 million subscribers now this is the face of a man that made a video that got 150 million views and probably got five fucking million subscribers all because he put his finger inside of a car window and rolled up the window. You see this shit, ladies and gentlemen, right? He's fucking laughing at you. He's laughing at me right now.

You don't have 5 million subscribers for doing this shit, but yet he does. Does this shit piss any of you off? Like, it actually should. If any of you want to be a YouTuber, the standard for blowing up on this platform is so low. I mean, look at this fucking guy. You really think this guy actually deserves 40 million subs? All you got to do today in YouTube is literally do stupid shit like this,

and you become a millionaire immediately! And the craziest part is that some of you guys think I'm joking, like the phrase overnight success is no longer a meme anymore. It's actually a thing. So honestly, I don't know why you guys aren't hopping on the train. Like, seriously, you guys should do this shit. Like, do some dangerous stunts or some bullshit. A million dollars, ladies and gentlemen. It's as easy as doing stupid shit like this.

Can a guillotine actually chop off your head? Oh my God! You almost took my head off! Are you guys like fucking stupid? Whenever you guys went on the internet to buy a guillotine, you didn't read the fucking item description. You guys didn't have a chapter about the medieval times during history class or some bullshit. How the fuck do you not know the purpose of a guillotine? Listen, audience, I know this video's a skit, right?

I get that it's a fake video. But, dude, I sincerely hope they know what a guillotine actually is for. Because if they were really on some type of myth buster, shit to actually see what a guillotine can do, bro, you know the purpose of it. This is not made to dice up your fucking onions for his fat ass to eat some burgers. It is to chop off your fucking head, which should really be put to use right now. First, we're going to try this hot dog, work her way up to an actual head. Okay, so the car window chopped off a hot dog, but then you don't think a guillotine is going to chop up a hot dog. What kind of fucking universe is this?

I feel like these guys are like the world's richest cheapskates the way that they just keep on using the same fucking props over and over again. Because if you look at the video, they already use, like, like a few props that they already used in the previous video. Don't you guys see that the budget for these videos are like maximum $40? It's actually crazy what little budget you can have on YouTube and still get over 100 million views. And three, two, one. No way! Oh my God!

That reaction to slicing a hot dog in half was way too fucking much. No one! God, dude, like somebody showed this man an episode of Hell's Kitchen. He's gonna lose his fucking mind. Now we're gonna try the closest thing that resembles a human finger, a carrot. Holy, Molly, Molly! I really don't know why everybody's getting so fucking excited

over a guillotine slicing up vegetables. Like all you guys were little kids at some point, everybody in this room has probably played fucking Fruit Ninja. I mean, granted, if you're getting like a nostalgia boner because you see Fruit Ninja in real life, I get it. But dude, literally in the previous video, you guys did this shit with a car window

and it sliced it in half. So it is able to chop off finger but can it chop off a head now before we do an actual head we're gonna try a watermelon pad what the hell the watermelon got decapitated which means it's time for the final test a human head I know that I'm pausing the video at the most important time but guys come on entertain the idea what if the guillotine accidentally slipped between his fingers God the world would fucking celebrate three two one I'll let you guys do it when you hit 50 mil

Alright, subscribe. Yep, yep, that's the shit right there, ladies and gentlemen. This is exactly why the Stokes twins are getting around 400k fucking subs a day. Because of stupid shit like this, they leave you on a cliffhanger, they promote their YouTube channel, then they feel like everybody has to subscribe. And because it's a bunch of little kids, they're gonna fucking do it. I mean, shit, I guess I should start doing shit like this in my videos. I should behead myself on camera.

Oh! Wait, move it a little lower. No! What was that? The one thrust. punch. Ugh, the one thrust punch. I get it?

I'm so fucking quirky. Fuck you. Anyways, y'all, subscriber. Try to reach 5 mil.