Ryth - The TikTok Food Waster Got Worse.

Episode Date: June 6, 2024

The TikTok Food Waster Got Worse.TikToker Topper Guild. The TikTok star and YouTuber Topper Guild, has been previously known as the "TikTok food waster," is now making more of the worst TikToks i've ever seen. Topper Guild cannot stop making TikTok cringe.

Mom, can we please go to the pet store? We're not getting a pet. Alright people, what's up? Topper Guild, ladies and gentlemen, has gotten worse. Okay, let's get these. Oh, I love Milky Way, okay. Star first, please. Okay, let's go find Mom.

When the shit goes in, the shit comes out. And today, ladies and gentlemen, it's fucking out. Mom, can we please go to the pet store? We're not getting a pet. I swear I won't ask for any pets. I want to look. I'll take you, but you cannot ask for anything. We are only looking.

Capish. Okay, bet. Ever since Topper Guild has been called out for wasting food and being a fucking bitch. Ever since then, Topper Guild has moved on to bigger and greater heights, relatable content. He tries to appeal to the general audience of middle school and high school students consuming YouTube, thinking that we're going to watch his videos being like, Oh, that's fucking relatable, man! When at the end of the day, we're just shaking our heads at this fucking numb nut.

Oh, Mom, look at how good. Cute he is. Please adopt this one, please mom. Look at him, eat. He's so cute. Audience, is the video getting relatable yet? Are you like, oh, yeah, yeah, I was that kid when I was little? If you're feeling even 1% relatable to this video, clearly your dad didn't spank your ass hard enough or he just wasn't there for you. Mommy, can I get the jerse? Shut the fuck up. But mommy, the gerbils really keep shut the fuck up, pussy. Sweetie, no fishes, no hamsters. The next time you ask for something, we're out. Oh, look at how cute the little fishes are. Mom, I know you're sad not to ask. But can we get a fish, please?

Sweetie, the fish are cool, but what did I tell you about asking? Fine! If I were the parent, at this point in the video, I will be dragging my child out of the fucking store by his hair. Misbehaving in front of your mother and father like that, you fucking disgrace. I grab you by your neck like a misbehaving dog that shit the floor. Mom, can I please at least just get this fox? I told you to stop asking for stuff. Let's go. Please, Mom.

Sweetie, no, we already have enough rats running around at home. Br-ha. Worst day ever. Is this the shit that I have to watch for eight minutes straight? Listen, I know that Topper Guild's videos are all satire. I'm checking out these videos pretending as if they were a real situation. And admittedly enough, for many people, these situations are actually real. So I'm not pissed off at the part that Topper Guild is creating shitty relatable content.

I'm just pissed off in modern society. Your parents give you everything and you still have your fucking panties in a twist. That's the part that's pissing me. Dude, I have the best idea. What is your idea? We're going to convince Mom to buy us all this candy by telling her there's going to be a ton of trick-or-treaters, even though there's not going to be a lot of trick-or-treaters, so all the candies ours.

That's a really good idea. Okay, first off, that idea never works. I'm sorry to be that guy, but I never gave trick-or-treaters jack shit. Do you expect me to give a 13-year-old girl dressing up as Jeffrey Dahmer a fucking feastable and shit? The answer is hell no, you're a psycho bitch. Think I'm going to treat you like my equal. Get out of here.

I swear it's going to work. Trust. Okay, let's get these. Oh, I love Milky Way. Okay, guard first. Please. Okay, let's go find mom. Mom, we need all these candy. Sweetie, what are you doing? You can't just put stuff in my cart. I'm not paying for that. Oh, come on, mom. Why not? Mom, he's right. We're going to need a lot of candy because there's going to be a lot of kids. I don't think there's going to be that many trick-or-treaters this year. To be fair, I do not know why people trick-or-treat anymore. I get it. It's a holiday and oh, it's so fucking scary. But why are you going to buy candy to give away candy just for you to go out and get more candy at the Crackheads House and potentially have your candy fucking drug? It doesn't make any sense. Do you really want to be that house that does not have a lot of candy?

That's a bad look. I guess you're right. I don't want to be that house. What a pussy. Oh no, I don't want to be the house with no candy. I don't want to be a fucking bitch. I don't want my neighbors talking shit about me on Facebook groups. If there are any moms that are watching this video and you,

have this mentality. Stop wasting your husband's money, you insignificant, deadweight wasting piece of shit. Okay, it's fine. Put more candy in there. See, Mom. Yeah, Mom, we're definitely gonna need these. Oh, and, um, uh, this is well. Definitely these, these kids love these. Kids that truly act like this are a waste of oxygen. If I can take a breath with 0.0000001% better oxygen levels, if these kids did not exist, I will take it. My breath matters more than these kids' breath. Oh my gosh, bro, look at how cool this shirt is. Oh, that is cool. I want this shirt, though. Come on, let's go get these clothes.

Here's the plan. If mom says no, let's just tell her that she said she was going to get us these clothes last week. How is that gonna work? Because mom's super old and she forgets things. Right, she is really old and she always says she is forgetting things. Wait, so you're telling me moms actually forget things? I must be one unlucky motherfucker. I swear my mom is the spawn of Doctor Strange. She can remember shit that never even happened.

Oh, son. I remember something. six years in the future, you did that shit to me. I swear I can never win. By the way, Mommy, I know you're watching this video. I love you. Hey, Mom, do you think you can buy us these clothes? Sweetie, no. You guys have way too many clothes. I'm not buying you those. Oh, say something. Oh, yeah, Mom. Last week, you said you were going to get a shirt. I did? I don't remember saying that. Isn't that right? Yeah, mom, you did say you were going to buy a shirts last week. You're just getting really old, so sometimes you forget things, you know? Oh, I'm sorry. Okay, I'll buy you guys those. was any other race of mom, she would be beating the fuck out of these children.

If you call a white mom old, she doesn't give a shit. However, if you say that your Puerto Rican mom is old and she's forgetting shit. At that point, your heart belongs to your mom, but that ass belongs to the flip-flop. Mom, mom, mom, playground, playground. Okay, sweetie, you can go for five minutes. Go play. Yes! Mom, look how high I'm swinging.

You're doing so good. You're not looking. Look. I saw it, sweetie. Wow. Hurry, you're going to miss it. Good job. This is what you would call modern parental figures.

When you have an absent mother and especially an absent father, should you be surprised when you turn out like a fucking dumbass? I for sure wouldn't think so. Oh, mom, can I get some candies? Sweetie, you do not need candy, come on. Oh, man, mom, please. I really just want some candies. Spoiled-ass children.

I love whenever I see little kids in Walmart talking shit to their moms because they wouldn't buy them a fucking kit cat. I'm sorry, you little shit, but last time I remember, you're five years old and you're trying to run my bank account. Oh, the nerves of steel these kids have. Do you know what five-year-old kids were doing in the 1900s in Pennsylvania? Motherfuckers were working in coal mines and shit. And here you are in 2022 complaining over a Reese's like a pussy. You were never meant to win at life.

Oh, dad, can I get some candies? Of course, son. Get what you'd like. I'll just get these. Is that all you're getting? Why don't you grab something else? Really? I can get more? Of course. Anything you'd like. Okay, um, I'm gonna grab these and, um...

These also. Just don't tell your mother, okay? Don't worry, Dad, I won't tell Mom. Son, grab those peanut M&Ms for your dear old dad, okay? The one video where I'm proud to be a man. You see, audience, I aspire to be a dad like that one day. What's that son? Mom told you not to get the Reese's? Fuck your mom, I'm the one that made the paycheck.

Get what you want, son. I'm fucking rich. Dude, we should go to the movies tonight. Oh, I'm so down for the movie. Okay, here's the plan. You have to ask my mom because if I ask her, she's gonna say no. She's your mom, you ask her. Trust me, she'll only say yes if you ask her. That makes no thing. Don't believe me?

Watch this. Hey mom, can we stop at McDonald's? No, we're not going to McDonald's. So you're saying that moms are also fucking deaf. I swear I'm in the worst position ever. Not only do I have a mother that remembers shit that never happened. She can hear me 10 years from now talking shit about her. Now that, ladies and gentlemen, is crazy.

See, I told you, you have to ask. Oh my gosh, I guess you're right. Uh, okay. Um, excuse me, Miss, um, Topper's mom. Oh, oh, oh, what is it, sweetie? Can me and Topper go to the movies? Uh, I don't know. Beg her, beg her.

Please? Please? Um, okay, let me talk to your mother and if she's okay with it. Okay, I can take you guys. I noticed that the general meme across all these videos is that if you're an entitled little fucking pussy-ass soy boy, If you beg mommy hard enough, she will get it for you. Unfortunately, that will not be the type of father I will be. I feel so bad for the Nordic seed in my nutsack that will soon be my children.

Because I'm actually going to train them to be a fucking man. None of this soy boy shit. Oh, can we go to the movies? Shut the fuck up. Okay, I'm going to drop them off in 10 minutes. Bye. Oh, let's go! Let's go!

We're going to the movie. And I'm going to go the fuck outside. Anyways, audience, I've seen enough bullshit today. Please click the video on screen. I promise you'll love it. But anyways, yeah, subscribe.