Ryth - These YouTubers Exploit Ronaldo For Views.

Episode Date: August 25, 2025

These YouTubers Exploit Ronaldo For Views.

If you can jump as high as Christiana Renato, then you win $1,000. Dude, shut up! The only thing you're doing with $1,000 is making Krispy Kreme Restock. Can you jump? Dude, why is everybody making videos about Ronaldo? Wow, uh, I guess everybody is gay now for this man. Not surprised that it's YouTubers like this. All right, people, what's up?

Famous YouTubers have a very weird obsession with Ronaldo. Nick LaMao, Zong, Topper Guild, Stokes, Twins, and Spurs. Spicey, whether it be a Ronaldo challenge, whether or not they're featuring a Ronaldo that looks like it's from Timu.com, everybody, as of recently, has been clickbaiting the hell out of Ronaldo. So today, we're going to be checking out everybody's Ronaldo videos, and we're going to be ranking them 1 through 10 on who is the worst. Listen, I'm just going to be completely honest with absolutely everybody. These videos are probably all going to be 10 out of 10 the worst videos I've ever seen on the internet. But anyways, with that being said, let's begin. If you can jump as high as Cristiano Renato. Ah, excuse me, sir. What the hell did you just say? Did this obese man just say Cristiano Renato? Listen, buddy, I hate to disrespect, but I sincerely believe you still got a few jelly donuts up in your larynx.

I think you might want to take care of those before you hit the record button. You win $1,000. Why are you guys laughing like a bunch of elementary schoolgirls? You guys are all multimillionaires. Listen, ladies and gentlemen, if you were to offer me $1,000 just for you. for jumping five feet in the air. I'm not going to be very excited. The whole concept of money in my life

has been so diluted that $1,000 means absolutely nothing. And I'm just saying if $1,000 means nothing to me and I have 4.6 million subs, what do you think that these people feel with 100 million subscribers? A thousand dollars is going to barely pay for the dinner they're going to have this evening.

This whole challenge is like one serving of caviar. Why are we screaming like cavemen discovering fire? We're gonna have to see a replay on that. Yeah, he didn't make it probably because he wasn't six foot. What a tragedy it must be to be 5.11 and a half. You know, girl, now that you mention it, whenever you say girl power,

that is exactly what I think about girl power. Y'all talk so much garbage about boys and claim that you guys are the best thing since sliced bread. But whenever you guys are facing any sort of opposition or challenge, you guys fail and you claim it's girl power. Listen, lady, you don't have girl power, you just have girl math. Saying I'm just a girl as not gonna get you out of this one, pal. One day I'll get that. Imagine being on one of the most popular YouTube channels on the entire platform

and your role inside of the friend group is to be the suss weirdo. I would really hate to be this guy if I was on the Stokes Twins friend group and I was told to talk about balls and being gay all day. Is this really your life, buddy, just being the butt end of every gay joke known to man? And by the way, YouTube community guidelines, I'm not being here. hateful or no hate speech. This is literally what this guy does. It is quite literally every single video he makes himself look like an absolute weirdo. Don't blame me. Blame the self-claim gay dude that makes himself look weird every single video. I'm so gonna get an age restriction on my video now.

No you didn't. Holy hell dude. You lacked so much testosterone in your body. I can just hear the estrogen lactating from your chest when you said that. Maybe you should stop drinking all the soy milk, you pixie boy. Oh, so all of them failed. Well, I guess nobody's getting the $1,000. Anyways, if I had to rank this video, 1 through 10, uh, yeah, it's definitely a 10. Topper Guild, baby! Can you jump higher than Cristiano Ronaldo?

You know, why am I not surprised that Topper Guild completely stole the video from Stokes Twins? Also, audience wasn't just me, or did I subconsciously want Topper Guild to clip his chin on the concrete? If you can, you win $1,000. Wow, Topper, a thousand bucks! Just for reference, ladies and gentlemen, on how much money that Topper Guild makes a YouTube video? You see these YouTube stats right here, this is Topper Guild's YouTube channel. He averages on a low of 9.9 grand a day. Now, I just want you to watch the rest of this video of them getting hyped over a thousand bucks.

Once again, ladies and gentlemen, this thousand dollars is not going to pay the caviar that they're going to eat this evening. All right, I've got this. Let's be the game. That was close. Bro, I seriously don't know how little kids don't notice that these videos are scripted. Oh my gosh, guys, that was so close. Chat GPTS scripted videos. I love balls.

Yeah, so did your mom, buddy. Your mom loved him so much that she decided to have you instead of flushing you down the toilet. Wait, what? Ooh, that was close. Topper, he literally hit the ball. The hair counts, buddy. He literally touched the ball. Where is his $1,000?

But jump higher next time Hey buddy, I know you sound discouraged But if you comment on this video I'll give you a thousand dollars, trust me There might be some shipping issues, so if you lose Your money, uh, I'm sorry This one's from Messi! Listen, man, with all due respect, I seriously

don't think you're gonna jump that high. I'm sure that you're a great guy and all this other stuff You're fat, I'm sorry, you're fat What? That's why Ronaldo's the goat. No, he's not? Comment down below who you think to go. The goat really is Ronaldo, ladies and gentlemen. I'm not gonna lie. And by the way, this is coming from pure bias as a fellow Portuguese. I practically have Ronaldo's blood running through my veins. I never watched Messi play before, but I'm just going by bias, okay? Hate me in the comments all you want. I will gladly be close-minded. No, that does not count. Well, you never said that you can't use your hands, pal. Topper looks like you owe two people a thousand dollars. What's wrong, dude? You don't have $2,000, even though you get paid $10.000.

grand every single day. You was one greedy-ass dude with bird nest hair. Oh, yeah! No! Let's see you! Go! Oh, no! That's cheating! Sounds like a skill issue, Chinese man. Maybe next time you should watch where you're going and you might actually win!

I didn't do that! Let's go! If I get this, everybody has to sue! Hey, Topper, hey Topper, why don't you listen to me for a second? How about you, shut the fuck? Let's do this! Oh, no! Yeah!

Your video is more stinky than my great-grandmother's ashes. This video is also a 10. Greenline! Spicey, run quickly! Oh, Mr. Brass! I thought this video was just about Ronaldo. Why are you here? I'm sure that we're going to see Ronaldo at some point.

Red light! All right now, don't move. Don't move, you idiot! Squeed game dog! Hey, what the hell is going on here? Follow the rules and stop eating... Oh, so basically this whole video was just AI-generated garbage. Yeah, Spicey, this video is going into trash.

I'm sorry. I don't ever want to see this garbage from you ever again. I hate my dad. That's because I love Rinaldo. Yeah, I think you love Rinaldo a little too much. I think that confirms why you are fanning his penis at the beginning of the video. So today I'm gonna meet him. You know, Zong, I wouldn't doubt that you would meet him literally and figuratively. Alright, bro, I need to stop. YouTube community guidelines, please don't snite me like Thomas Crooks.

But there's one problem. How am I gonna get his attention? First, I decided to try and cook something for Rinaldo. Because everyone loves food. Bro, what is that? First, you got Prime. Uh, absolutely disgusting product. You got Feastables, and then what is that?

Literal dog shit? I am not surprised that you would cook up something like that. So, Ronaldo's not going to like that. He's not a big back like you. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Kill me now. How this guy got more than 100,000 subscribers is beyond me. Next, I tried to dance so I can be his cheerleader.

Oh, my eyes. You'll never meet Ronaldo. Everyone's subscribers. Hey, Ror, bra, blah, blah, blah. Sorry for reacting to Zong's video like that. I really just didn't like himself promoting. But you know what? Instead of subscribing to Zong, you should subscribe to me, ladies and gentlemen.

What do you think about that? Okay. And finally, Nick LaMalle. Somebody stole my sign, Granaldo jersey? Okay, yeah, I'm done. All of you have the worst videos on the entire planet. But audience, if you want to subscribe to real content, well, baby, I got just a thing for you.

But anyways, with that being said, I'll catch you guys. Later.