Ryth - This TikTok Gooner Situation Is Disturbing.

Episode Date: February 7, 2025

This TikTok Gooner Situation Is Disturbing.

Hi, how are you? Good. Have you been here before? Uh, yeah. Sir, you need to leave. I'm over here stroking my dick. All right, people, what's up? This creep on TikTok actually gooned himself to death. Now, audience, the subject of today's video is going to be Nautica Malone. Now, audience, this gentleman was a man with a wife and kid newly born with a happy marriage and everything.

However, ladies and gentlemen, sometimes men do get lonely sometimes and want to go and Goon. And this gentleman, Nautica Malone decided to go to a coffee shop drive-through to goon his fucking weenie. And whenever he got caught, he decided to kill himself in Minecraft. Let's begin. All right, so this guy is pulling up in a Dodge Challenger, quite a tasteful sports car. As of right now, there is nothing wrong with this video. You pull up in a Dodge Challenger, a pretty tasteful sports car, I imagine. It's not quite comparable to my Toyota Supra, but, you know, it's pretty good. But seriously, jokes aside, this woman was recording this video way before he even pulled up to the drive-thru. So this video tells me that he has definitely done this before.

You can tell that he calculated what he was doing because look how far away he is from the drive-thru window. In order for him to even get his order of food, he would quite literally have to get out of his fucking car. So I don't know, audience, something is telling me that this guy has definitely done this before. Good. Have you been here before? Wait a minute, so this is what the coffee shop woman was wearing? Well, won't you look at that? The coffee shop's name was called bikini beans. You know, audience, maybe these businesses would recognize that you wouldn't have gooners

maybe showing up to your fucking establishment. If the business didn't require the ladies to dress up like fucking bops, then you probably wouldn't come across nearly as many weirdos as you would if you didn't work out of fucking bikini beans. It's kind of like hooters. Nobody goes to Hooters for the food. Now, I'm not saying what this guy did was okay, right? You know, it's pretty fucking weird to goon in your car at a drive-thru. You can goon in so many different places.

Besides going to a public coffee shop and gooning to the woman at the drive-thru. That's fucking wild. But if you're a lady working at Hooters or a fucking bikini bean, should you really be surprised when a man is doing this? After all, the establishment itself requires you to kind of sexualize yourself. Personally, if I'm a woman working here, I would kind of expect it. Uh, yeah.

Sir, you need to leave. Unaccept- And there it is, ladies and gentlemen, the realization that, oh shit, I fucked up, I got caught with my pants down, literally. This video is like a 15-second Darmann episode. Man goons to woman at coffee shop lives to regret it, Darmann. Well, to be fair, he didn't live long to regret anything, really.

But anyways, in all seriousness, this dude really just got caught in 4K 60 frames per second. Personally, I think this guy should have drove off the second that he saw the iPhone. I don't know why the fuck he stayed. If you just drove off the second that you saw the iPhone, you would have never got exposed, bro. Why the fuck would you hit the brakes in such a terrible moment like this? Your pants is down, your weedy is exposed. Oh my God.

Unacceptable. Call 911. I think at this moment in the video, the end credits were already playing in this dude's mind. I'm really trying to put myself into the situation here. If I got caught like this, that bad in 4K, I think the end credits would be playing in my mind as I drove off as well. After all, ladies and gentlemen, this guy had a wife and kid. Personally, I would understand how I wouldn't be able to face them after that.

But anyways, back to serious mode. Do I feel any sympathy for this guy for what he did? No. You woke up in the morning and thought it would be perfectly fine to get pantsless in your Dodge Challenger. Get onto the fucking freeway and drive to a bikini beans to shimmy your shaft. There were so many choices you had to make along the way where you were like, yeah, maybe I shouldn't have done that.

But you fucking did it anyways. I do not feel sympathy for this man whatsoever. Even though all of this could have been avoided if you just practiced a little bit of sexual self-discipline. And maybe we wouldn't have a guy that killed himself in Minecraft over Gooning. A quick moment of silence for this gentleman really quickly. Okay, yeah, that's all the silence I'm gonna fucking give him. Anyways, before this guy killed himself in Minecraft, he prepared a book and quill for his wife. The book and quill he left his wife in Minecraft read,

I apologize, I love you, Queen, I made a mistake, and I don't think I'll be able to face you in the babies. I don't know why I drove through like that. My mental has been fucked up. I am not a monster. I apologize, and I love you forever. If I am in critical condition, please pull the plug. The note continued to all my family and friends. I love you and I'm so sorry and I love my kids and family.

Please forgive me. And you know why, ladies and gentlemen, the only people I'm actually going to feel sympathy for is definitely his friends and family. I can only imagine what they're going through right now. But still, at the end of the day, this dude still publicly exposed his weenie to some girls at a bikini beans. That is the textbook definition of sexual harassment.

So for the guy that actually did the deed, I don't think I feel sympathy for him at all. His brother also put out a statement saying, 15 years you have been my brother, I keep crying because of all the memories we have together and we can't make any more. I miss you, bro. I miss my best friend. I wish you would have came to me. I'mma miss your dumbass, funny-ass jokes.

I'm going to miss your random roast battles. I'mma just miss talking to my best friend. I love you, man. I wish I told you that more. I thought we'd watch our kids grow up together. This shit's tearing me up and doesn't feel real. I'm gonna see you in the next lifetime, brother. Once again, ladies and gentlemen, pretty fucking morbid.

Nautica's mom also put out a statement saying, This is the bitch that went up to my son's car and recorded this fucking video that caused him to take his life. She invaded his privacy. He had his fucking weenie out, lady. I get that he's your son. I'm sure that he was a fucking sweetheart aside from this incident. But if we're going to talk about who is invading whose privacy,

uh, he did. You don't goon to people in. public lady it is a crime she invaded his privacy by going up to his car please share this picture of this bitch so that we can make her pay justice for nautica baby your mom is fighting for you i'm not going to rest until you have peace love you my son gone way too soon let's make this girl pay please everyone share this photo with all your friends on every social media platform thank you so much in advance for your help yeah uh coincidentally audience from this woman's post it's actually fucking working. They're actually trying to create a revolution for this man. There are people that are

actually going to the same bikini beans in protesting this man's death. Hi there. How's it going? Good. Do you have a water cut? You do have to purchase something. I can't get a watercut. We don't allow filming. Ironic that they're saying that they're not allowed to record videos. I wonder why that must be. Do you hear last night? No, what's that? Yeah. I can't goon. I can't Goon. You killed that man. You killed that man. You killed that man. You killed that man. RIP, Pnodica, you killed that man. You evil, sick fuckers. Yeah, that is some crazy work to actually be defending this fucking dude. I sincerely hope that people are not being serious whenever they're trying to defend this man.

Like, is this the point that we're getting to now? We're defending sex offenders that go to bikini beans? That is fucking depressing. Oh yeah, and also this happened. Okay, nobody's actually taking this shit. You can hear all those little boys fucking giggling after they do this shit. But still, everybody that is at that protest. is fucking weird. Anyways, audience, subscribe to the channel for a part two on this situation. With that being said, I'll catch you guys. Later.