Ryth - TikTok Recipes That Should Be Illegal.

Episode Date: June 29, 2024

TikTok Recipes That Should Be Illegal.TikTok. TikTok is the place where anyone can get famous for anything. TikTok cringe has been around for a long time, but not like the TikTok trend of TikTok recipes. Today's TikTok trend showcases the worst TikTok recipes i've ever seen.

If you like whiskey, I'm sure you've heard of an old fashion, but have you ever heard of an oldest fashion? Make these Mayan death cigars, torch them, and then mix our drink with back. All right, people, what's up? Today, I probably found the worst TikTok recipes ever. I'm going to show you how I make my childhood favorite cereal, cinnamon toast crunch, oops, all shrimp tails. Oh, what? It honestly just tastes like cinnamon toast crunch. Audience, I introduce you to Calabros Kitchen. If you're looking for the most rage-baiting recipes, then this guy is for you.

So you may have heard of a beef Wellington, maybe even a Weaf Bellington, but have you ever heard of a Leaf Wellington? Excuse me, motherfucker, say that in my good ear, please? A Leaf Wellington? Is that the duty shit that just leaked out of your mouth? Do you need a fucking spanking? Start by gathering some leaves, throwing them in a blender, and then grinding them up. Okay, actually, what the fuck? No fake YouTuber voice right now, what the fuck is this? Shit looks like my great grandmother's ashes.

And then put them in a bowl and mix in some water and some flour until you get a sloppy leaf mess like Well, Mr. Sir, you got one thing, right? It is surely a fucking mess. I'm not even sure if squirrels the fucking nature speed bump would be able to eat this shit. This concoction looks like something a sick dog would shit out of its ass. Put your leaf slop into a loaf pan to make a leaf loaf bake at 375 degrees until golden brown like this. It looks like the bread from fucking Outback. Whoa, whoa, Rith. Are you talking shit about Outback? Yes I am. It's fucking shit. Fuck you. And then you also want to cook up some mushroom. Duxel. Then you want to use some moldy corn leaves as the brujudo. Remember, audience, not just any corn leaves, some moldy corn leaves. Obviously, this guy makes satire content, but you can't help but notice how elegantly shit his videos are. The combination of the happy music, him talking in a monotone voice, it really encapsulates the embodiment

of what it means to truly be a shit cook. Smush on your mushroom Duxel and then smear on some Chick-fil-A sauce onto your leaf load. Okay, this motherfucker is. is just freestyling at this point. Leaf Wellington, fucking moldy corn leaves, and now Chick-fil-A sauce. I don't know if that was a sudden jab at Chick-fil-A for being shit. But if it is, I'm a little offended. Then roll it up just like a Beef Wellington, and then put it inside some puff pastry. Once you got it rolled up, add some egg wash.

Motherfucker, that looks like the make-a-wish worm from SpongeBob. Probably taste the same, too. And then score the top. Throw in the oven until it becomes golden brown just like this. Then grab your nearest electric saw and cut a perfect portion. Electric saw. Okay, fuck you. As you can see, audience, the content before you is most definitely rage baiting.

And I'm not quite sure if I'm going to make it to the end of this video. I might get too based and say a racial slur. I'm going to show you how I make my childhood favorite cereal, cinnamon toast crunch, oops, all shrimp tails. If I can gouge out my eyeballs in a painless manner, I would do that right now. You guys probably would too. I mean, no pussy shit. If you willing to spoon out your eyeballs, I mean, hey, go ahead.

This shit's about to be fucking foul. Start by rinsing off your shrimp and then detaching the tail from the shrimp body. Then mix together some cinnamon and sugar to make cinnamon sugar. And then you want to bread your shrimp tails first in some flour and then into some egg and then back into some flour. So they look all nice and coated like this. And then some hot oil, just fry your shrimp tails into their golden brown like this. And then just drop them in a bowl, sprinkle on some of your cinnamon sugar, give them a little tossy toss. Did bro just say tossy toss?

Motherfucker, the only thing tossing is yo ass in my basement. Do some fucking science experiments on your stanky ass. Making shrimp tails, motherfucker, you're making a sentence bale. Then pour some milk into a bowl and then add in your shrimp tails into the milk. Then you have my favorite cinnamon toast crunch. Oops, all shrimp tails. I fished one out just to give it a taste. And you know what?

It honestly just tastes like cinnamon toast crunch. There he is. There he fucking is! Did you genuinely eat that? Did you really put that cinnamon shrimp shit in your mouth? Fucking disgusting. Do you have a wife that kisses you? It's just the cinnamon and sugar. It's a little bit crunchy. Some of the shell doesn't like crisp up all the way and he gets stuck in you I can see the pain in this guy's eyes. I mean, I have to give some respect to this guy for actually eating the shit he makes in his TikTok

But dude, I know you're hurting inside is the TikTok clout really that worth it? I know you've heard of an ice cream sandwich But have you ever heard of sandwich ice cream? Well Calabro's kitchen? I have not and I think there's a good fucking reason why It's only two ingredients, really, ice cream and a sandwich. I love how he dropped that bitch in the blender with no hesitation whatsoever. Clearly, this isn't this guy's first rodeo in making shit food, or at least intentional shit food for TikTok. But bro's really about to ruin a perfectly fine ham and cheese sandwich. If I said I didn't have an urge to beat the shit out of him, I would be lying.

I'm using an Italian hokey, and I'm blending it up with a little bit of heavy cream, until it became a nice sandwich slurry. You think that fucking dooky looks nice? Looks like pink sauce that was shipped by fucking FedEx. Oh, it looks like a nice slurry. Bro, shut the fuck up. I then mix it with some vanilla ice cream. Hindsight, I probably should have just used the ice cream to blend it with instead of the heavy cream.

But anyway, this had like a weird texture. There was still some meat chunks and cheese chunks. You don't need to describe the bullshit. I know. Motherfuck is trying to justify his cursed food recipe. And he's trying to make excuses to make it sound not as shit. Just a minute, bro. You're making some stinky shit.

And I threw it in the freezer until it stiffened up a bit. As you could see, I was impatient. It was a bit soft. But anyway, I scooped out a little scoop of the ice cream and then I added some extra virgin olive oil and some Italian seasoning. You are the expert of cooking fuck-ups. For starters, the ice cream already looks like a blended up fucking pig fetus. And then you sprinkled it with some fucking olive oil and leaves and shit. I'm sorry, audience, I'm not a cook. I don't fucking know this shit. I can't even make it grilled cheese in this bitch.

Anyways, this shit is just fucking disgusting to the culinary arts. Jordan Ramsey would beat the fuck out of you. To go along with the Italian Hogi theme. The Italian Hogi theme. Oh shit, your ass better not step in fucking Italy. You will get fucking skinned alive. If you like whiskey, I'm sure you've heard of an old fashion, but have you ever heard of an oldest fashion?

No, I haven't. Enlighten me. To start off, I'm gonna make a simple syrup using turbanato cane sugar and a really old book. This book happens to be medieval history by Carl Stevenson. I prefer the taste of books printed around World War II, but any old smelly book will do. What the fuck did my ears just register? You like the taste of books from World War II? Well, motherfucker, step right up.

If you go back to 1942, you can get the mine for 1999 from Defeudor's Backpocket. Get a sniff of that shit! To make the simple syrup, all you need is equal parts of water and sugar, and then crumble up a piece of that old book and then let it steep in the sugary water. Let this mixture cook down until it gets a little bit sticky and then let it cool off to the side. So what's the purpose of getting the Old World War II book? Are we gonna get the masculine? an urge to kill n-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-s them shit.

We're gonna know what Abraham Lincoln's beard smells like, like, what the fuck is this? Glass, we're gonna put some ice followed by our old book, simple syrup, and then a little bit of some bitter-bitters. Then I'm gonna pour about three ounces over a bourbon, and then I'm gonna take these Mayan death cigars, torch them, and then mix our to drink with that. You have officially lost me. I was still mentally there when you were talking about the fucking World War II book,

but you just shoved the fucking Steve Harvey cigar in that shit. What the fuck is brewing a shot of lung cancer? Lastly, I'm gonna get some blood orange peel, squeeze it, and then mix it around, and there you have the oldest fashion. Obviously, I had to give it a try, and off the nose, it smells like death cigars, but when you take a sip, you get nice caramel notes, followed by some old damp basement, and it finishes with hints of vanilla and orange peel. You make me fucking sick. Anyways, audience, I think I've seen enough bullshit today. Please click the video on screen. I promise you love it.

But anyways, yeah, subscribe.