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If this pulls him, you have to subscribe.
Like and subscribe at the same time.
It's also impossible to like and subscribe at the same time.
All right, people, what's up?
Topper Guild has completely sold out as a YouTuber.
Now, audience, as I'm recording this video,
Topper Guild is at over 70 million subscribers.
And, uh, honestly, it felt like just a couple years ago,
I was filming collab videos with Topper Guild myself.
Wait a minute, it has been a couple years.
But anyway, since those last couple years, when I was filming with Topper Guild, his content has changed a lot.
Instead of copying other people on TikTok and wasting mounds of food for YouTube views.
And also, instead of milking Vesh Remy's face for every single YouTube video,
Topper Guild, in the recent year, has decided to make a groundbreaking career shift.
And that career shift is copying every other big YouTuber on the platform.
So today we're checking out Topper Guild's recent YouTube shorts and see if it's,
anything better than the videos that he put out before.
Hand out, we're going to see if his channel is warranted 70 plus million subscribers.
Let's begin.
One dollar.
Oh, come on, Topper, really?
You know, I should have known that Topper Guild was going to be copying Mr. B since Stokes' twins
by doing videos like this.
Listen, audience, I'm not sure if you guys noticed this across YouTube shorts by now.
But YouTube shorts content has got to be the most dopamine hijacking content
across the entire planet.
The video starts off as something
with a little bit of dopamine
and a little bit of reward.
And as the video progresses,
it gets more and more shocking
and more and more crazy.
And that right there is exactly
how dumb asses like Topper Guild,
Stokes Twins, and Mr. Beast
keeps yo-ass glued to the screen like Elmers.
And they make you fall into this trance
where they're like, oh my God, guys,
you gotta subscribe to the channel
if this actually comes true.
Just watch,
Ladies and gentlemen, the rest of these videos that we're going to be checking out today follows this exact same formula.
Bro, it's not even doing anything.
$10.
Guys, do you see what I'm talking about?
As the video progresses, the boats are going to get more and more expensive, and oh my gosh, is the boat actually going to move the human across the fucking pool?
Seriously, guys, these videos are getting so unbelievably scripted.
It's actually sad.
And you know what?
You would think that these little five-year-olds that consume Topper Guild content would, you know, pick up that there's kind of like a pattern after the 500th video that is kind of, you know, formatted the exact same way and scripted the exact same style every time.
But no, most kids are just too fucking retarded to figure that shit out.
Come on!
That's not even close to strong enough.
$50.
Come on, short.
I'm scared short.
Ah, guys, oh my gosh, that was like so funny.
The part when a grown-ass man just said that he was scared of toy sharks?
Oh my gosh, dude, I'm getting a six-pack by laughing so hard.
Gee-wiz, Zoo-wee Mama, I'm really about to pass out because this shit is so funny.
Topper Guild, ladies and gentlemen, the toughest content on YouTube.com.
This one's weak.
Hey, hey, stop.
Broke, you broke it.
Topper, I honestly have no idea why you're complaining.
Don't you make like $10,000 a day on just YouTube alone?
And you're complaining about something that costs the price of a full tank of gas on a Toyota Tundra?
You are the last person to be complaining about money, sir.
Because I can recall just a few years ago,
you were perfectly fine wasting hundreds of dollars on food.
$100.
Come on!
Spider-man boat is weak!
No!
$500 boat.
Dude, do not lie to me.
That is not $500.
You are not convincing anybody in this audience that that boat costs $500 U.S. dollars.
Now, if you were to say that that thing costs 500 pesos, I would probably believe you.
But you are not going to sit here and tell me that that costs $500.
The average retail worker has to work a full seven days to afford that.
Is that really what you're saying right now?
Yeah, you are.
are full of bullshit.
I have a good feeling about this one.
Huh?
Come on!
Fight!
No!
Bro!
Oh, your boat sucks!
No!
$1,000 boat!
Topper, you have gotta be the biggest cap artist I've ever known on YouTube.
I just looked up a thousand dollar electric boat and I see this.
Can you know, if you were to tell me that this cost $1,000, I would actually believe you.
Because, uh, there is no way in hell that I would get something like that that costs a thousand dollars.
cost $1,000. What a complete rip-off. I'm not spending $1,000 on something that would look like it would be inside of my baby's son's bath tub.
If this pulls him, you have to subscribe. Here we go, ladies and gentlemen, the exact point in the video that I was talking about. Do you really think that Topper would say that and then the boat wouldn't pull him? Remember, guys, this dude's end goal is to get as many subscribers as possible. Seems like a pretty normal goal for every single huge.
on this platform, but I can promise you that Topper would not say this if the boat was not going to pull him.
And guess what? As the video progresses, you're going to see different variations of this
type of promotion. He's either going to say, if this works, then you guys have to subscribe,
or he's going to do something different where he says, if you think this is going to work,
you need to like the video. And if you think this is going to work, then you have to subscribe.
You guys are going to really start picking up on this type of stuff whenever you watch YouTube
shorts after my video. It is just so funny how this type of content is so in your face, but yet nobody
picks up on this kind of thing. Three, two, one, go. Come on. Oh, yes! No, it's bullying him! Subscribe!
Holy shit! Woo! We have to subscribe to Topper Guild! I don't know, maybe it's just me because I'm a
YouTuber, and because I'm a YouTuber, I know every single method of self-promotion. So maybe
watching YouTube content just isn't fun anymore because I know all the methods.
But audience, doesn't this type of content piss you off, at least just a little bit?
It's like YouTube shorts isn't even fun anymore.
It's just a bunch of dumbasses cash cowing subscribers.
Now granted, YouTube shorts is how I blew up on YouTube.com.
But at least I can have the common decency and tell everybody that I wasn't doing shit like this.
So yeah, I'm pretty glad that I don't have a dirty conscience.
Thank fuck I did not end up like this guy
Which soda makes the biggest explosion
Bro this is so predictable
These videos are getting so predictable
That I can literally put this shit into a graph
This Coca-Cola can is the start of the video
And the climax of the video is gonna be this Coca-Cola can
Oh my gosh guys, which can is gonna make the biggest explosion
I think my five-year-old little Timmy ass has to watch this
the entire video to see what happens.
For the record, ladies and gentlemen,
this is exactly what Topper is wanting you to do.
As long as you watch his dog shit content
all the way to the end,
YouTube is gonna keep promoting him.
How much you guys wanna bet
that he's gonna say you guys have to subscribe
if this one's the biggest explosion?
Level four, guys, I'm honestly super scared.
Oh, oh, oh.
Topper, why the hell are you making that noise?
Listen, Topper, I got to hang out with you for a couple days in L.A.
The only other time I heard a noise like that is whenever you were in the men's room.
Coincidence? I think not.
Okay, but in all seriousness, Topper didn't say you have to subscribe in just this video.
But I'm just going to prove my point right now.
Just like it's impossible to cross this glue trap, it's also impossible to like and subscribe at the same time.
Also impossible to like and subscribe at the same time.
Like and subscribe at the same time.
Subscribe if you think I'm gonna win
and like if you think the police officer's gonna win.
Yeah, I think I proof my point.
Topper Guild is a complete sellout.
Anyways, audience, subscribe to the channel
if you would like another episode of Topper Guild.
With that being said, I'll catch you guys.
Later.