Ryth - Topper Guild's Fakest Video Ever.

Episode Date: August 3, 2024

Topper Guild's Fakest Video Ever.Topper Guild, one of the biggest TikTok cringe and YouTube shorts creators just uploaded the fakest video I have ever seen on YouTube. Topper Guild hides in a school while getting hunted down by the police, this has gotta be the fakest Topper Guild prank video i've seen.

Somewhere inside this school, there is a golden safe. And the police are here to make sure nobody finds out what's inside. Dude, why is one of the police officers like 80 fucking years old? Did this motherfucker bring Captain America into a Topper Guild video in 2023? Because damn, that mufuck is more wrinkly than Prince Phillips nuts. All right, people, what's up? Today, I found Topper Guild's worst video I've ever seen. The videos I've made about Topper Guild in the past has been fucking insane.

But in my opinion, none of these videos are going to amount to the amount of fake bullshit. we're about to see today. This mufucka actually rented out an entire elementary school to film a YouTube video. And also, may I add, he was recording this video at like 2 in the fucking morning. Kino, that's crazy. When it was 2 a.m. and I was snoring my ass off. This man, Topper Guild, was recording a YouTube video.

This shit got me dead. But I need to know. Make sure you watch till the end, because this is going to get crazy. Oh my God, guys. This video is going to be so crazy. He jumps at a pool. You know, Topper, usually in a YouTube video. you'd like to show the climax of the video at the very beginning if you're trying to advertise this video to me as like the most exciting shit I've ever seen in my life

Q jumping in a swimming pool is probably the most anti-climatic shit I've ever heard but you know what guys maybe Topper Guild has an ace up his sleeve maybe he's gonna have a fucking police shootout or something Shatters come on we gotta get inside Stay low, stay low, stay Shudders what the f f f f f f f f f-stay quiet stay quiet stay low stay low This motherfucka scream it at the top of his lungs right now. How the fuck are these guys cops? Like you literally hired a fucking old man for this shit. Oh yeah, that's right.

The video's fake. I remember. Okay, top team, this entire school is on lockdown because the principal told me that there is a secret golden safe somewhere in her office. So let me get this straight. This guy, Topper Guild, has some sort of connection with the elementary school principal.

And this school principal told Topper Guild that there's a secret golden safe in her office. And the main character, Topper Guild is going to heroically steal it from her office at 2 in the fucking morning. Somebody, please make sense of this plot. If there are police outside, whatever's inside that golden safe must be extremely valuable. Well, what are you waiting for? Let's go. Bro, bro, keep your voice down.

Bro, you did not just do a fucking YouTube intro at Mr. Beast volume. And then tell your cameraman to shut the fuck up, literally when he was whispering. Somebody, please get this man a hearing aid. There's probably security systems everywhere in here. And we do not want the police alerted, because then they're going to. to come in here and find us. Okay, I'm sorry. Shh, keep your voice out.

Okay, no, actually, how the fuck does this guy Topper Guild not break character when he's recording? I remember when I was filming videos with Topper Guild out in L.A. And, bro, this guy when he was recording, he would not break character. I seriously wish I had the raw footage for some of this shit because I was breaking characters so many times. But this dude, Topper Guild, when he's recording, bro, he gets into the character. At this point, audience, it makes me wonder if it's actually him or not. But this whole place is abandoned? This place is nasty.

Bro, you went to school here? Yeah. Shutters, I can get any good going. Oh, no, please. Yeah, so much for keeping your fucking voice down, like, holy shit. Dude, Shudder, shut the fuck, I'm shut the- The- Ah, police!

Police, no! In a few seconds, audience, I'm gonna have to get a fucking hearing aid. You hear that? Get out the door right now. Oh, come on here, go. Go, go. I'm not here. Come on.

Come on. I'm gonna try you, man. Police. Put your hands up and show yourself. Nice, bro. What a good way to give away your fucking location. Bro, if you was trying to catch a criminal, you know, walk into the place you're trying to catch the criminal. And then announce to the entire world, you literally at everyone

in the fucking Discord server. Hey guys, I'm a fucking cop, but I'm here. Like, holy shit, you're an idiot. Like the left son, I'll clear it right. We have a camera system up here. Looks like he's newly installed. I don't know, bro. Those cameras were made in China. That shit probably looked like this. Shunners, we gotta find this principle office. Come on top to you. Comment down below if you see it anywhere. Yeah, guys, comment on the video. Please comment on the video to boost the video performance in the YouTube algorithm.

I see what you did there, Topper. Very fucking slick, but it ain't gonna work on me. Yeah, that's right. Fuck you. Did it here? Shh. Like the bathroom. Bram.

Sorry. Why do you look so stupid in this frame? You look like a crying four-year-old running out of the bathroom because he got fucking wedgied in there. You look like a whiny pussy right now. If you guys thought that was a close call, make sure you keep watching because it only gets crazier and crazy. No way, Topper. It gets even crazier near the end of the video. Oh, shit, I gotta watch it now. Yeah, no, but seriously, this video is literally 15 minutes long. Just for reference, we're not going to be watching the entire video. Because, uh, I want to have some remaining brain cells for the remaining of my day. I don't want to spend all my brain cells on a fucking Topper Guild video. That would just be foolish. Topper, Topper, quick, quick, what is it? Bro, oh my gosh, principal. Come on top team.

Bro, you're supposed to be the principal's office. Let's go. Wait, Tom, don't, don't, do. Oh my gosh. Doctor, this must be the golden saint. Oh my gosh, the totally top secret safe inside of the principal's office is right on top of the fucking table. That literally makes no sense whatsoever. Audience, if I was trying to hide some shit, especially from Topper Guild, bro, I would be carving holes in the wall in shit to hide the safe. And then I would be putting like a fucking Mona Lisa painting on top of it. I would be doing whatever it takes to hide my shit from Topper Guild.

Like seriously, do you trust this motherfucker with anything in your life? Wait, bro, it's locked? What? No, wait, we need a combination of numbers. Whoa, top team, you need a fucking combination of numbers to unlock a save? Yes, you dumbass, you fucking idiot. How are we supposed to find that? Wait, what's this?

Is it a note? Four golden items equals code to unlock safe? Oh, my God, shutters. This is it. This is the answer we're looking for. God, dude, the plot of this video is so dog shit. How did we find them? I guess they're probably somewhere around the school.

Wait, what's that? Wait, is that security camera? Oh my gosh, shutters, you're right, these are the security cameras. We can see the entire school. I can see the police officers. Bro, they're looking for a shutters? Where are the at? They're just in the front hall where you triggered the alarm.

There was an accident. Yeah, well, shutters, your accident caused the biggest fuck up in all of history. You guys thought Topper Guild wasting food was a bad idea. Ha, fuck that. Shutters stepping on an alarm to trigger the police to find Topper Guild in a fake YouTube video. Oh yeah, that's that real shit. But no, seriously, it's fucking crazy that the only real thing Topper Guild is done in his life is well, you know, wasting food.

That's pretty fucking goofy. I really just thought about that. Look at that. Looks great. Come on. Let's go. Shutters, they're coming. What do we do?

Let's go. Robleau square. There is no fucking way. These guys are real cops. Audience, the principal's office was literally big as fucking Walmart. And these guys walked through the main entrance and literally look two feet in front of them. And they're like, Yeah, Coase is clear.

Like, what the fuck? Oh my gosh, shutters. That was a close call. Bro, what are we supposed to do? We gotta get that safe open. Bro, we have to split up. Why would we split up? So you can go find the golden objects,

and then I'll stay here, and I'll tell you where they're out with the security system. Wait, why do I have to go find the golden objects? You're the faster one? No, I'm not. Buddy, have you not seen your best friend shutters? I'm not saying anything.

I just think that Topper Guild would be a little bit faster than somebody that's a little bit wider, you know, than him. Yeah, no, actually shutters, you need to get into the fucking jubter. You need to hop on a treadmill, my boy. Beat me on the stairs, stopper. Okay, but shutters, how are we supposed to communicate?

Wait, what are these? Bro, are these walkie-talkies? Oh my God, more convenient items for the plot of the video. Oh my God. Tom Team, do you guys see this golden object? You're a trap, bro. Do something. Oh gosh, Tom Team, the cops are coming.

Okay. Jumped into the pool. They can't even see him. I am fucking done. I don't even need to explain this part of the video. These deaf mufuckus actually just let Topper Guild literally swim in a fucking swimming pool behind them. This is definitely the fakes Topper Guild video I've ever fucking seen. Anyways, audience, please click the video on screen.

I promise you'll love it. But anyways, yeah, subscribe.