Ryth - Topper Guild's Worst Videos (Ryth Compilation)

Episode Date: August 15, 2024

Topper Guild's Worst Videos (Ryth Compilation)Topper Guild, the internet's punching bag in 2023 has created some of the worst YouTube Shorts and TikTok content i've ever seen. Today Ryth has made a compilation of all the worst moments of Topper Guild and his TikTok Cringe, YouTube Shorts, food wasting, Ryth and Veshremy collabs and more..

Yeah, can you guys believe I actually recorded this many Topper Guild videos? If you were to tell me one year ago, I would have made an hour worth of long-form content about Topper Guild. I wouldn't believe you. But, uh, yeah, here we are today. Today, I have compiled all my Topper Guild videos into one. If you're ready to see a year-in review of all the videos I made about Topper Guild last year, then here is the video. So, audience, go ahead and grab your popcorn and watch the marathon of me packing Topper Guild all last year. year. Anyways, yeah, subscribe.

Alright, people, what's up? Today we're checking out Topper Guild, which is, in my opinion, the worst TikToker of all time. Because what is TikTok content without wasting a shit ton of food? And I mean it, I'm talking a shit ton of food. I think we now understand the beast we're going to be tackling today. Anyways, I'm sure that this guy has already heard the age-old argument of why he's wasting so much fucking food and supplies, which is also the exact reason I'm making this video. The grand majority of his TikTok content just consists of him wasting a bunch of fucking food,

much like his dad wasting a bunch of fucking sperm in his mom's uterus. Hot sauce! Red and black peppers! You know, it actually just came to mind. How exactly is this guy going to clean all this shit up? I'm sure this guy could be hiring like a maid or something, but I can't imagine the fucking maid walking in the house. If I were the maid and I seen this shit, I would walk right out the fucking door. Oh yeah, he also does this annoying thing where he says,

Perfect at the end of every video. So I'm just preparing you guys for the ear blistering noise for every video. Turkey! Hey, more bread? Bers! I'm sure this guy's family must be so proud, because who would it be proud of their Honey Bunny's son wasting so much shit on their kitchen counter? And he's not even wasting food, he's also wasting technology as well.

Then again, the dumb fuck probably doesn't even know his iPad was there. He's got way too much money under his belt to even give a shit. But then again, how he got $29 million on TikTok is honestly fucking surprising to me. But then again, $29 million on TikTok, I think, says more about our generation than him. Why is wasting food the new funny? Look at this happy son of a bitch. I can guarantee you there isn't a singular thought of empathy in his eyes. When he looks back at these videos, he's thinking, holy fucking shit, I'm gonna get 40 million views on this bad boy.

And 40 million fucking views he gets. I don't know, if I were this guy, I would not be able to sleep with a clear conscious at night. How this guy doesn't have any guilt throughout his day is honestly astonishing. But then again, when you're a colossal piece of shit, you just don't recognize that stuff. Being self-aware, that's just normal people shit. Okay, so dumb fuck realizes that there's people that can't really afford food. Meanwhile, he turns right back around and waste a shit ton of food in return. If this guy's career is built up on wasting fucking food, he can easily open a food pantry and I guarantee you it would be successful.

Then again, I'm just a guy with an opinion, but I do challenge you audience that maybe my opinion just might be better than his. Pizza sauce. Okay, so this isn't the same piece of shit. from before. But this piece of shit is also another piece of shit. I'm gonna be making a video on later on. So yeah, stay tuned for this guy. Okay, coffee to the top. Now just a little bit of milk. Mmm, perfect. One pound sugar. And now for the coffee part. Yeah, yeah. Perfect. Have you guys laughed yet? Have you soiled your fucking panties yet? I'm really trying my best to understand. what is the comedic relief in these videos?

Because there is yet to be one singular video where I'm like, Oh, that's fucking funny. I'm sorry, Topper, but I just can't find your talent, sir. Three seconds in the video. You know, eggs are very nutritious, very valuable to a human being's health. And knowing that this guy's about to do whatever the fuck he's about to do to these eggs, it's just going to go right down the trash can and it's pissing me off. Red and green pepper.

You know how many homeless people he can feed with just that bowl alone? And thing is, is that he chose pretty good ingredients. He's got the eggs, bacon, the vegetables, and cheese. He's got it all. You know, he had the opportunity to possibly feed people that actually need the food. Or he's just going to make a big fucking mess inside of his kitchen and make some TikTok videos. And of course, being the dumb fuck he is, he does the kitchen shit. This guy can be doing so much better for other people that actually need the food.

But no, Mr. Selfish Dumbf can't give other people food, but instead he's gonna consume it all for himself. I don't know why he doesn't give food to homeless people. It would literally do the same numbers. Okay, just a quick waffle. Hmm, perfect. Thed up! Rest in peace, iPad, by the way. Mict fruit.

Souther sugar. Perfect. Saying that I'm fucking sleep deprived. Watching these YouTube videos isn't understub. I have still have yet to understand how this is 29 million follower quality content. I feel like dumb fuck over here should be motivation for you guys If you have an online career you're trying to pursue just look at this guy and say yeah, I'm gonna make it The title of this YouTube short is called who else can relate to this Well, Mr. Topper Guild, I'm afraid nobody can quite relate like you

You see I'm pretty sure 99.9% of people watching my video are not people that waste their food, let alone most of us are probably struggling to get a meal? So, to answer your question, dumb fuck, no, nobody's relating with you, and nobody will. Is this supposed to be the relatable part? Yes, we get it. Not everybody's a fucking millionaire

where they can waste $10,000 a week on shitty TikToks. God, if I see this guy, I would give him the fattest fucking wedgy. I would put this guy's wedgey on the tallest tree branch known to man. some barbecue sauce. Okay, now let me just rub it in. Some barbecue? No, thank. Bedfin.

I don't know why this hit me so late in the video, but it has. Through all the bullshit that this guy has recorded inside of his house, has it not came to any of you guys' minds that, you know, ants and stuff like that exist. Whoever cleans this dude's house honestly hats off to them. Because if there was any other maid cleaning up this person's house, It would be a fucking resort for any insect and any infestation to come to life. It's just so fucking pathetic to watch.

Pizza dough! Pizza son! Yeah, I think I've seen enough bullshit today. Mom, can we please go to the pet store? We're not getting a pet. Alright people, what's up? Topper Guild, ladies and gentlemen, has gotten worse. Hey, let's get these.

Oh, I love Milky Ways. Okay, Garters, please. Okay, let's go fight mom. When the shit goes in, the shit comes out. And today, ladies and gentlemen, it's fucking out. Mom, can we please go to the pet store? We're not getting a pet. I swear I won't ask for any pets.

I just want to look. I'll take you, but you cannot ask for anything. We are only looking. Capiche. Okay, bet. Ever since Topper Guild has been called out for wasting food and being a fucking bitch. Ever since then, Topper Guild has moved on to bigger and greater heights.

Relatable content. He tries to appeal to the general audience of middle school and high school students consuming YouTube, thinking that we're gonna watch his videos being like, Oh, that's fucking relatable, man! When at the end of the day, we're just shaking our heads at this fucking numnut. Oh, Mom, look at how cute he is. Please, please, mom, look at him, eat. He's so cute. Audience, is the video getting relatable yet?

Are you like, oh, yeah, yeah, I was that kid when I was little? If you're feeling even 1% relatable to this video, Clearly your dad didn't spank your ass hard enough or he just wasn't there for you. Mommy, can I get the jerse? Shut the fuck up. But mommy, the gerbils really keep... Shut the fuck up, pussy! Sweetie, no fishes, no hamsters.

The next time you ask for something, we're out. Oh, look at how cute the little fishes are. Mom, I know you said not dad's, but can we get a fish, please? Sweetie, the fish are cool, but what did I tell you about asking? Yeah, fine! If I were the parent, at this point in the video, I will be dragging my child out of the fucking store by his hair. Misbehaving in front of your mother and father like that, you fucking disgrace. I'd grab you by your neck like a misbehaving dog that shit the floor.

Mom, can I please at least just get this fox? I told you to stop asking for stuff. Let's go. Please, Mom. Sweetie, no, we already have enough rats running around at home. Bruh. Worst day ever. Is this the shit that I have to watch for eight minutes straight? Listen, I know that Topper Guild's videos are all satire. I'm checking out these videos pretending as if they were a real situation.

And admittedly enough, for many people, these situations are actually real. So I'm not pissed off at the part that Topper Guild is creating shitty relatable content. I'm just pissed off in modern society. Your parents give you everything and you still have your fucking panties in a twist. That's the part that's pissing me on. Dude, I have the best idea. What is your idea? We're going to convince Mom to buy us all this candy by telling her there's going to be a ton of trick-or-treaters,

even though there's not going to be a lot of trick-or-treaters, so all the candies are. That's a really good idea. Okay, first off, that idea never works. I'm sorry to be that guy, but I never gave trick-or-treaters jack shit. Do you expect me to give a 13-year-old girl dressing up as Jeffrey Dahmer a fucking feastable and shit? The answer is hell no, you're a psycho bitch. I think I'm going to treat you like my equal. Get out of here. I swear it's going to work.

Trust. Okay, let's give these. Oh, I love Milky Way. Okay, guards first, please. Okay, let's go fight mom. Mom, we need all these candy. Sweetie, what are you doing? You can just put stuff in my face.

cart, I'm not paying for that. Oh, come on, Mom, why not? Mom, he's right. We're going to need a lot of candy because there's going to be a lot of kids. I don't think there's going to be that many trick-or-treaters this year. To be fair, I do not know why people trick-or-treat anymore. I get it. It's a holiday and, oh, it's so fucking scary. But why are you going to buy candy to give away candy just for you to go out and get more candy at the Crackheads House and potentially have your candy fucking drug?

It doesn't make any sense. Do you really want to be that house that does not have a lot of candy? That's a bad look. I guess you're right. I don't want to be that house. What a pussy? Oh no, I don't want to be the house with no candy. I don't want to be a fucking bitch.

I don't want my neighbors talking shit about me on Facebook groups. If there are any moms that are watching this video and you have this mentality, stop wasting your husband's money, you insignificant, deadweight wasting piece of shit. Okay, it's fine. Put more candy in there. See, Mom? Yeah, Mom. We're definitely going to need these.

Oh, it's. Oh, this is well. Definitely these. Kids love these. Kids that truly act like this are a waste of oxygen. If I can take a breath with 0.000-001% better oxygen levels, if these kids did not exist, I will take it. My breath matters more than these kids' breaths.

Oh my gosh, bro. Look at how cool this shirt is. Oh, that is cool. I want this shirt, though. Come on, let's go get these clothes. Here's the plan. If mom says no, let's just tell her that she said she was going to get us these clothes last week. How is that going to work?

Because mom's super old and she forgets things. Right, she is really old and she always says she is forgetting things. Wait, so you're telling me moms actually forget things? I must be one unlucky motherfucker. I swear my mom is the spawn of Dr. Strange. She can remember shit that never even happened. Oh, son, I remember six years in the future. You did that shit to me.

I swear I can never win. By the way, Mommy, I know you're watching this video. I love you. Hey, Mom, do you think you can buy us these clothes? Sweetie, no. You guys have way too many clothes. I'm not buying you. those. Oh, say something. Oh, uh, yeah, Mom, last week, you said you were going to get a shirt.

I did? I don't remember saying that. Isn't that right? Yeah, Mom, you did say you were going to buy a shirts last week. You're just getting really old, so sometimes you forget things, you know? Oh, I'm sorry. Okay, I'll buy you guys those. If this was any other race of mom, she would be beating the fuck out of these children. If you call a white mom old, she doesn't give a shit. However, if you say that your Puerto Rican mom is old and she's forgetting shit, at that point, your heart belongs to your mom, but that ass belongs to the flip-flop. Mom, Mom, Mom, Playground, playground, playground! Okay, sweetie, you can go for five minutes.

Go play. Yes! Mom, look how I'm swinging! You're doing so good. You're not looking. Look! I saw it, sweetie, wow! Hurry, you're gonna miss it!

Good job! This is what you would call modern parental figures. When you have an absent mother and especially an absent father, should you be surprised when you turn out like a fucking dumbass? I for sure wouldn't think so. Oh, mom, can I get some candies? Sweetie, you do not need candy, come on. Oh, man, mom, please.

I really just want some candies. Spoiled-ass children. I love whenever I see little kids in Walmart talking shit to their moms because they wouldn't buy them a fucking kit cat. I'm sorry, you little shit, but last time I remember, you're five years old and you're trying to run my bank account.

Oh, the nerves of steel these kids have. Do you know what five-year-old kids were doing in the 1900s in pencil? Mothuckers were working in coal mines and shit. And here you are in 2022 complaining over a Reese's like a pussy. You were never meant to win at life. Oh, Dad, can I get some candies? Of course, son.

Get what you'd like. I'll just get these. Is that all you're getting? Why don't you grab something else? Really? I can get more? Of course, anything you'd like. Okay, I'm gonna grab these and um...

These also. Just don't tell your mother, okay? Don't worry, Dad. I won't tell mom. Son, grab those peanut M&Ms for you. your dear old dad, okay? The one video where I'm proud to be a man. You see, audience, I aspire to be a dad like that one day.

What's that son? Mom told you not to get the Reese's. Fuck your mom. I'm the one that made the paycheck. Get what you want, son. I'm fucking rich. Dude, we should go to the movies tonight. Oh, I'm so down for the movie. Okay, here's the plan. You have to ask my mom because if I ask her, she's going to say no.

She's your mom, you ask her. Trust me, she'll only say yes if you ask her. That makes no sense. Don't believe me? Watch this. Hey, Mom, can we stop at McDonald's? No, we're not. going to McDonald. So you're saying

that moms are also fucking death. I swear I'm in the worst position ever. Not only do I have a mother that remembers shit that never happened, she can hear me 10 years from now talking shit about her. Now that ladies and gentlemen is crazy. See, I told you, you have to ask.

Oh my gosh, I guess you're right. Uh, okay. Um, excuse me, Miss, um, Topper's mom. Oh, oh, what is it, sweetie? Can me and Topper go to the movies? Uh, I don't know. No, beg her, beg her, please, please? Um, okay, let me talk to your mother, and if she's okay with it, okay, I can take you guys.

I noticed that the general meme across all these videos is that if you're an entitled little fucking pussy-ass soy boy, if you beg mommy hard enough, she will get it for you. Unfortunately, that will not be the type of father I will be. I feel so bad for the Nordic seed in my nutsack that will soon be my children, Because I'm actually going to train them to be a fucking man. None of this soy boy shit. Oh, can we go to the movies? Shut the fuck up.

Okay, I'm gonna drop them off in 10 minutes. Bye. Oh, let's go! Let's go! We're going to the movie! And I'm gonna go the fuck outside. No, no, no, no. Oh! Alright, people, what's up?

Today we're checking out the fakes pranks on TikTok. Ladies and gentlemen, I introduce you to Topper Guild. And not that I need to introduce you to Topper Guild. Not that I need to introduce this guy because I've made quite a few videos on him already. Anyways, before we begin, I have a challenge for myself. You guys have been commenting, I have a swearing problem in my videos. So to fix the swearing problem inside of my YouTube videos for every swear word, I will have ghost pepper sauce.

We're going to be squeaky clean today, ladies and gentlemen. So with that being said, let's begin. Apparently, this is supposed to be the fake eyes prank. Audience, I know for a fact that this looked absolutely nothing like a... pair of eyes. If anybody gets fooled that this is actually a pair of eyeballs, then I am afraid you have contracted cataracts. You are Helen Keller. You think you drew eyeballs. Motherf-oh. Oh, fuck. You know, I really love spicy stuff. But the fact that I have to do this repeatedly over a multiple times in a video, this shit's gonna pit... I hate my life. Oh! Yeah, so I just filled this guy up with a crap ton of ghost pepper sauce definitely more than I would like to admit. Anyways, bottoms up. Oh, it's spicy. Nonetheless,

and gentlemen, but you see I love spicy stuff so much that it's not gonna bother me. Since I swore twice, I have to take two shots of the ghost pepper sauce, so as you can see, doing a little bit right there, there we go. Ah! God! Down the hatcher we go, ladies and gentlemen. Making sure I'm coding all the taste buds here. Woo!

That stuff is hot, ladies and gentlemen. Am I crying yet? Nope, not yet, but I guarantee you I will in a few minutes. Hey, what's good top? What are you watching? Topper. One of the best parts about these things. about these fake pranks that Topper does.

Is the ever so convenient placement of the camera in these videos? Don't you guys find it so funny how they never move out of frame? They're always perfectly in frame and the setting is perfect. And coincidentally, all the characters in every Topper Guild prank has the IQ of a goldfish. If anybody doesn't find these videos, at least a little suspicious, you are actually stupid. Are you mad at me or something? What's up? Bro. Your eyes are literally open. Did you fellas hear that one?

Your eyes are literally open. I genuinely do not understand the comedic relief in any of these videos. I understand that this is the part of the video where the seven-year-olds have a hoot and tooth. But seriously, if you need to stage a prank, why the heck does common sense go out the window? Hopper, look at me when I talk to you. Oh, you want to put like that? I sincerely wish I was Topper right now. That bottle of water on my body right now would feel fucking...

Bottoms up, boys. It gets worse slowly every single time. Wow, Topper, you're so clever. You know, I would like to raise the question how Topper gets these video ideas. But then I realized his entire career is copying another person. So I can probably guarantee you that this guy just Google searched prank ideas on the internet. Absolutely zero research into his career. But I mean, hey, it got him a Lamborghini so it can't be that bad. Topper, what are you doing? I'm just fixing the Lambo. Give me like

one second. I'm fixing the Lambo. Give me one second. I love all the sudden flexes he gives in all of his videos. I mean, not that flexing to a bunch of 10 year olds is necessarily impressive. I can show you guys my high school diploma and that's a flex. I know, but I thought we were going to go. We are. We're going to go in two seconds, just here, I'm getting a really bad glare from the sun and it's making it hard for me to see. Can you shut the gate? Okay, can you move your arm? I'll move it in two seconds, Sabrina. Just give me one set. Okay, I'm going to close it. You better move your arm, though. Audience, who the heck is falling for this? Unless she is an actual bimbo, then sure, maybe this prank might be real. But if you genuinely think that Topper moving his hand is going to mess up the mechanical job, then that is just silly. You're acting like your excess hand is so crucial to finishing the job. If this was a real-world situation,

Nobody will be falling for this. I'm telling them we're gonna be late right now. Topper moogers. That is by far the fakes scream I have ever heard. You really gotta give Darmand some props when the acting isn't even as bad as this. I could walk into Mickey Mouse Clubhouse and they're still gonna have more authentic enthusiasm than your stinky ass. Why do I swear bro? Why do I do this to myself?

It's not even getting spicy anymore, honestly. My tongue is so... No! My lips are quivering, my mouth is numb, my eyes are starting to somehow still not water, but I definitely feel myself going insane. No, sir, you need to stop. I am officially concluding that everybody in a Topper Guild short, you will lose every form of common sense the second you're on a Topper Guild video. It looks like a dog toy.

Stephen, your hot dog's ready. Yeah, extra ketchup just like your ass. There is no much. man that is going to eat a hot dog with that passionate of a face. Audience, I understand a grilled hot dog is a beautiful delicacy, but there should be nobody on this planet that should value a hot dog with that face. Either he is really about to enjoy the sexiest hot dog of his life, or he's bracing for the inevitable doom. And I think audience, he's bracing for something very bad to happen. Essentially, this guy knew he was going to get bamboozled. Like, come on, Topper,

Can you please give us an actual prank? Why not go into your buddy's bedroom and shoot them with a paintball gun? That's funny. What the fuck? Why the heck are you dressed up like that? You're going to scare Topper. You're so spooky. Once again, the setting is so perfect.

Explain to me why Topper is sleeping again in the middle of daytime. Do these 10-year-olds actually realize these pranks are more fake than your grandma's dentures? Even when I believed in Santa Claus, I can still figure out that this is so fake. Yo, it's good. No, no, I'm just putting all my soft right now. I'll be downstairs in like two seconds. You are such a pussy cat. See what I did there?

Pussy cat? Yep, that's not a swear word. But if I were Topper in this situation and I seen an intruder in the house, whether the intruder was dressed up as a burglar or a cat with yellow eyes, it does not matter. I've got a knife and machete in pretty much every room of the house, so if anybody wants to get the smoke, they can get it. With, of course, an additional machete in your skull. So burglars out there, you may not want to mess with me.

Yo, holy, holy, holy. Yeah, I think I'm done. Audits, I think I have seen enough bullshit to... I just realized my outro's a swear word. No reaction, bitch. Alright people what's up? Today I found Topper Guild's probably worst content ever. Is it wasting food?

No. Is it his fake fucking pranks? No. It is actually his long-form content. Invisible camouflage hide-in-seat! Seriously, Topper, you gotta calm the fuck down with that caps lock. Today we are playing extreme camouflage hide-in-seat at school. So this is the shit that Topper does outside of wasting food and faking pranks on TikTok.

This motherfucker's got way. too much time on his hands. I hire three professional body paint artists to camouflage us into anything we need around this school. Well, they did a pretty fucking shit job. You say these motherfuckers are professional? Bitch, I can do that shit and I'm a rookie. You could literally hire my bum ass walking into Home Depot and I can do this shit. What the fuck is professional about any of this?

I can have a fucking arm deformity at birth and I can still do a better job than these fucking people. I have my friend Ryan Prunty here who is currently inside the school being camouflaged as we speak. Motherfucker looks like the green giant on down syndrome. Looks like Shrek got some extra fucking chromosome. I also have my friend Sabrina here who is being painted. I also hired a real bounty hunter who is going to be here any second. And if he finds all of us within his time limit, I'm giving away $1,000 to one of you guys who come at school down below.

Holy shit, $1,000. That's a lot of money, Topper. I'm not necessarily making fun of the amount of money that Topper's giving away. It's just the fact that Topper is the one that's saying it. Do you really think this motherfucker is actually gonna give a thousand dollars away? This dude's personality is practically just being a piece of shit. And sure you can say that he's been doing a lot more charitable acts recently. Giving food away to the homeless and shit.

Audience, don't be fooled. He's not doing that as an honest action. He's just stealing the idea of some other motherfucker. And sure you can say that he's still doing a good thing. But audience, don't be fooled. He would not be giving away food to the homeless if he didn't see somebody else doing it and getting successful. Not everything on the internet is real. I am taking this extremely seriously and have my team plant decoys all around the school to throw the bounty hunter off.

And if we are found, we get arrested. You guys get arrested? Are you fucking kidding me? Now, of course, all the 10-year-olds are fucking puckered up in their chair ready to watch this shit. Because nobody would want Topper Guild to get arrested. He's too much of a fucking angel to get arrested. Oh my God, Stephen, did you hear that? Oh my gosh.

Oh, my God, Stephen, go, run, run, don't give me that position. I am Mike Ferguson, I'm a professional bounty hunter. Been that 23 years and that timer starts now. This guy is the bounty hunter. That is such a load of shit. From what I remember, bounty hunters can't have face tattoos. Not even a minute into the video and I got your fucking ass exposed. We got ourselves a bounty hunter fraud, ladies and gentlemen.

Oh my, God. What are you doing? I'm coming, coming. For a so-called 23-year bounty hunter, this guy must have contracted cataracts within those 23-year You would think that his wrinkled Jabba the Hut ass will be able to notice any form of movement But no, he's just that fucking slow Oh man, I'm looking for someone's face Right there

And motherfucker just point at the sun I don't know if you could trust this guy being a bounty hunter let alone crossing the fucking street I mean if his fucking ass crosses the street he'll be in the sky real soon I can't believe kids are falling for this shit I'm sorry but you have to be a certain level of stupid to fall for this. The only kids I think that actually enjoy this type of content is the type of kids that probably pick and eat their fucking boogers. Clearly the types of children that are going to be successful in life.

Oh my god. I calculated six seconds for him to get to the top of that fucking playground. You call this guy a bounty hunter. But he can't even get up a fucking kiddie playground in five seconds. The only bounty that this guy is collecting is the money you took to hire his ass. I've seen old people do the devil's tango faster than your snail ass. Okay, so we checked really good out here. Now I think it's time to move inside the school. Listen, we got a clock on its ticket. Subscribe and comment below. For a bounty hunter that is competing in a game of hide and seek, constantly speaking like a fucking drill sergeant is totally not going to give away your location. Gosh, I wonder where everybody is.

Shut the fuck up. Thank you. Is your typical little school? What to one of these wants? But I've been training for 25 years of my life. Not only is he blind as a bad, but he's also got fucking dementia. So which is it? Did you train for 23 years of your life or 25 years of your life?

Or did you confuse that with your wife's divorce? How to apprehend and take control of this situation? Understand the room, so to speak. Since when did bro start acting so smart? Yeah, so we need to start understanding the room really quickly. Hmm, yes, the floor here looks like a shitload of floor. Shut the fuck up. Oh my gosh.

They could be painted, they could be camouflage. Do you see that? Oh my. I think those are paper. What? If anybody has not been convinced that this video is fake, then I'm afraid you probably... You still believe in Santa.

Jokes aside, what the fuck is this video? Little children in 20, In 2022, consume this content with a free mind. I refuse to believe that they're not getting fucking strapped down and watching this shit. It's like getting spoon fed fucking acid. See that? Oh my god. Let's go, sonners.

If you see anything, look around the corners, please. You know you're a shitty bounty hunter when you're asking for the fucking cameraman to help you. If you see anything, look around the corners, please. Fuck off. I don't say anything looks like the room's clear. Come on. Come on. I think I heard something.

Come on. You see that over there? I thought I saw something over there. So a second ago, this motherfucker was blind as a bat. And now he's turned into fucking Superman with X-ray vision. This man's genetics are more bipolar than a teenage girl. Whoever helped them as masters of deception. Military, high-tech stuff.

It's not even on the market. She's got to be around here someplace. Do you see that? Listen, I got a plan. Follow me. Bro, why the fuck you creeping up on her like that? It looks like this isn't your first rodeo either. Wait a second. You're inside of a school. That can't be fucking good.

I'm really lonely out here, guys. I feel like I really need a girlfriend. I feel like that would fix all my problems. Audience, what you guys see before you is a midlife crisis. Don't be like this guy, ladies and gentlemen, do not have a midlife crisis in your fucking 20s. Don't turn out like those women-deprived old white guys that drive corvettes all day. I can't get bitches. Bidches. Shut the fuck up.

Sabrina! Topper! Get me out of here! No, no, Sabrina, scoot over, scoot over, move. What? Okay, hold on. No, I just, I really need your advice, okay? And then you'll get me out.

No, so hold on, Sabrina. I really want a girlfriend because I'm really lonely. Like, what should I do? Do you have any advice for me? Um, just get out there. Like, you know, put stuff out there, like be confident. So just, like, start dating around? Yeah, just like, so.

Okay, Sabrina, great idea. Top team in my next video. I'm gonna bring together 100 girls and date them all at once. Oh, no, no, no, thank you. No, thank you! The problem is, Topper, is that you need to find one girl that's interested in you. That's the first step. Oh!

You'll never get me, Mike! What you ever. No, you're wasting your time. I'm quick! No! I'm quick! Oh my God! Okay, okay, okay, you got me!

The only reason I enjoy this is to see Topper suffer. Literally nothing else. Anyways, audience, I think I've seen enough bullshit today. E-A- Alright, people, what's up? Today, the TikTok. Talk Food Waster uploaded the worst video ever. And by Food Waster, I'll be talking about Topper Guild.

Fuck this guy. I hired 100 girlfriends. Topper, what the fuck is that thumbnail? Getting your clothes ripped off and shit? Is that a cut on your cheek? The hell are these psycho bitches up to the fuck? I spent over $100,000 this week to have 100 of these girls here. The fact this motherfucker had to pay women to be around him.

I swear, Topper's a fucking repellent for a vagina. Dude had to bust out the fucking bank account for this video. I could do this video for free. You aren't gonna want to miss these crazy challenges and epic moments throughout the week. Oh my gosh, Topper just got fucking mooched! I never thought I'd see the day. I mean, that's what you get, Topper with a thousand dollar package of a woman. Kisses and mediocre compliments included.

Brought to you by Bimbo's Incorporated. I am only allowed to bring 25 girls out of the hundred into the mansion based off their one pickup line. If I hit yes, they come into the mansion. If it's a no? The fuck happen to your mouth. fuck a kiss too many women now he's looking like Stephen was that joke too dark yeah I'll give a fuck they go into the no bus for a trip back home would you mind grabbing my arm yeah I'm sure oh my god I've been touched by an angel fuck you

I know I'm so sorry I've been bad ladies and gentlemen this is exactly why men make the first move give me a pickup line like that I'm a fucking recluse back like a regular show hot dog I've been touched by an angel shut the fuck up did you get your license suspended no because you're driving me crazy Please come in! You hit except for that shit! Motherfucking, you better get a drive back home with that shit! The only turn on for me is if you whisper the copyright law in my ear.

There ain't a single thing more sexy than that. Except for me, when I'm butt-ass... Like pickup lines. Can I kiss you instead? M-uh-o-uh! Of course the fucking blonde would say that. You can't come up with a single cohesive sentence? Throw your goofy ass back on the bus. Do you believe in love in first night or should I want to buy again?

I believe in it. Come on in. Come on in. Come right in. Fuck you. Topper, how unbelievably cheesy do you have to make this video? Honestly, I don't even know why I continue to watch your videos. I won't forget the first time I watched her channel, but I'll keep trying. Holy shit, boys.

Diggity, damn. Listen, boys, hear me out. She's got way too much fucking makeup on. Get your ass back on the fucking bus. I'm so sorry. This is stupid. I don't even understand why you got a fucking pound of makeup. Call it costs more than your fucking outfit.

That's what I don't understand. I'm amazing. How are you? I'm great. You're my favorite YouTuber, and I want to smash your like button for the rest of my life. All right, good enough for me. You're good. Welcome.

Topper, that's a keeper. All those other women you hit yes on, their shit. If they support your channel, that's a Gigi. That's all you need, baby. Can I have a picture of you? I want to show Santa what I want for Christmas. Please, I love Santa. Fuck Santa.

That fat bitch broke my chimney. Santa tells me I need to watch my mouth. He needs to watch his fucking wait. Hey, Topper. Who's this fucking pixie? Even Topper's freaked out. Get your fucking ass out of here. Uh, guys, I'm so sorry for saying no. Thank you guys for coming. I can't believe I just rejected 75 girls.

I have never been so uncomfortable in my entire life. I'm surprised they came to see you. Even after getting paid. I would have took the money and blocked your ass. It's time to meet the girls with a little twist. Hi. Hey guys, Nathan here. Also known as in Speakable, we heard Topper was bringing 100 girls to a mansion.

And he's looking for a new girlfriend. Well, while he's going on dates, me and the... the boys are going to be in his ear telling him what to do. Let's try it. Topper, if you hear us scream, yeah. Yeah! Holy shit. I can see the air in all their heads, especially this one.

Why is your arm like that? Why so much fucking sass? Put your arm away. I don't like this girl. Fuck you. Hi. Hi there. Tell me about yourself.

Well, I'm 22. All right, Topper. Grab the water in front of you and dump it on your head. Hmm, interesting. Okay, and then, in terms of like, I've never seen a way. Talk before. Are you guys laughing yet? Isn't this like the funniest video you've ever watched? I'm laughing so hard. I got the fucking jizzled abs of the Greek gods. Why didn't I subscribe to Topper Guild sooner? Aye, hi, hi. Give me, give me a spark like a dog.

Communication. Oh, you know. Communication, what was that? The bad thing is that this girl doesn't even seem that bad. But because you got these fucking morons in his AirPod, they're just gonna sabotage everything he's doing. But then again, there's also the other side where Topper, Topper had to pay this motherfucker to be here in the first place, so I highly doubt anything here is gonna be authentic. Yeah, I'm sorry, yeah, so, anyway, yeah, just so continue. Where was that? That's really scary.

I'm sorry, well, you're smiling, so that means you gotta be having a good time, right? Yeah, I'm having a great time. Awesome. So, me and Topper had a great first date. I think the barking was so hot. Was I gonna tell him that? No. I like this girl. If she doesn't win Topper's a bitch, that's all I'm saying.

I really liked your pickup line out there, by the way. Oh, you liked it? Yeah, it was great. You make me want to fucking puke. You like my pickup line? Yeah. Shut the fuck on. Lons are not my type, by the way. What if he proposes to this one?

Where do you like to go? Where's your favorite place? Ooh, Bahamas. The Bahamas? I want you to get down on one knee and propose. That was the last thing I needed to hear. Why? Will you marry me?

Topper. Is that a yes? If you tell the girls to go home right now. Oh, look at one. What the fuck? All right, I'm sorry, I'm talking too much shit. So, tell me about yourself. All right, listen, Topper.

I want you to roast her outfit. On vacation? Probably, probably Switzerland. Did you pick out that shirt? Mm-hmm. And you picked out those pants as well? Yeah, I did. Is there something wrong with them?

What's with the fucking sass? Oh, is there something wrong with them? Shut the fuck up. Listen, ladies, if you're trying to attract a man. Not some fucking soy boy, by the way. I'm talking a fucking man. Throw that sass shit out the window. We ain't trying to fucking see it.

This woman is a woman is a. exactly who you don't want to be. Just can't really stand like the pink and white. Do you want to do this date one more time? Do you want to just go change real quick? Are you serious? You're wearing a booger shirt and you're gonna say that to me? Wait, wait, what are you doing?

Wait, oh wait. I mean, he did say he liked the wet look, but I don't think my guy's even wet anymore. He's a fucking faucet at this point. But I will say the faucet does drip. And Topper has the fucking drip. What's up? Have you been?

Not much, I'm doing well. Our Topper freeze. Don't move until we tell you to. So what I? Are you okay? I want you to take this moment while you're frozen and think about everything you've done in your life I want to you think think deeply very deeply I want you to think very long and hard about everything you regret all the decisions you've made in the past 18 years of your life I love how he doesn't show the food wasting hopper you know you fucked up in that situation you can make as many peanut butter fucking jellies as you want

we know what's a load of bullshit and you're copying somebody else's idea fuck you that was a little too much you can unfreeze now what's going on I'm good. I just thought about one time I was in like third grade. Fucking pussy. Oh, the third time I was in third grade. Me, me, me, me, me. How about the three years worth of fucking food you wasted? Ah, ah? No. Okay. Alrighty, Toppy Top.

I want you to whip out that beautiful cell phone of yours and I want you to flex your TikTok following, okay? I have like 29.4 million followers on TikTok. Oh, big deal. Top 50 creator in the world. Top 50. Top 50. Top for top.

Holy fuck women are. are so funny. Fuck my entire YouTube channel. This woman just needs to take over everything. Take my channel the fucking cat NFT you're looking at right now. I'm fucking leaving. Like this shit, this shit just belongs to her. Fuck this shit. I wanted to know, if money didn't matter, what would you be doing? If money didn't matter, exactly what I'm doing right now. I love doing this. And it's never about the money. It's just doing what you love and the money will cost. Yeah, I'm fucking done. Somewhere inside this school, there is a golden safe. And the police are here to make sure nobody finds out what's inside. Why is one of the police officers like 80 fucking years old?

Did this motherfucker bring Captain America into a Topper Guild video in 2023? Because damn, that mufuck is more wrinkly than Prince Phillips nuts. All right, people, what's up? Today I found Topper Guild's worst video I've ever seen. The videos I've made about Topper Guild in the past has been fucking insane. But in my opinion, none of these videos are going to amount to the amount of fake bullshit we're about to see today. This motherfucker actually rented out an entire elementary school to film a YouTube video. And also, may I add, he was required.

recording this video at like 2 in the fucking morning. You know, that's crazy. When it was 2 a.m. and I was snoring my ass off. This man, Topper Guild, was recording a YouTube video. This shit got me dead. But I need to know. Make sure you watch till the end, because this is going to get crazy.

Oh my God, guys, this video is going to be so crazy. He jumps at a pool. You know, Topper, usually in a YouTube video, you'd like to show the climax of the video at the very beginning. If you're trying to advertise this video to me as like the most exciting shit I've ever seen in my life. Q jumping in a swimming pool is probably the most anticlimatic shit I've ever

heard. But you know what guys? Maybe Toppergild has an ace up his sleeve. Maybe he's going to have a fucking police shootout or something. Shutters, come on, we got to get inside. Stay low, stay low. Shutters! What the fuck? Stay quiet. Stay quiet. Stay low. Stay low. This motherfucker screaming at the top of his lungs

right now. How the fuck are these guys, cops? Like you literally hired a fucking old man for this shit. Oh yeah, that's right. is fake, I remember. Okay, Tom team, this entire school is on lockdown because the principal told me that there is a secret golden safe somewhere in her office. So let me get this straight. This guy, Topper Guild, has some sort of connection with the elementary school principal. And this school principal told Topper Guild that there's a secret golden safe in her office.

And the main character, Topper Guild is going to heroically steal it from her office at two in the fucking morning. Somebody please make sense of this plot. If there are police outside, whatever's inside that golden safe must be extremely valuable well what waiting for it's go bro bro keep your voice down bro you did not just do a fucking youtube intro at mr beast volume and then tell your cameraman to shut the fuck up literally when he was whispering somebody please get this man a hearing aid there's probably security systems everywhere

in here and we do not want the police alerted because then they're gonna come in here and find us okay i'm sorry shh keep the voice down okay no actually how the fuck does this guy topper gill not break character when he's recording i remember when i was filming videos with Topper Guild out in LA and, bro, this guy when he was recording he would not break character. I seriously wish I had the raw footage for some of this shit because I was breaking characters so

many times. But this dude Topper Guild when he's recording, bro, he gets into the character. At this point audience, it makes me wonder if it's actually him or not. But this whole place is abandoned? This place is nasty. Bro, you went to school here? Yeah. Shutters!

I could get in going, bro. Oh no, please. Please. Sirs, go! No hurry. Yeah, so much for keeping your fucking voice down. Like, holy shit. Dude, shut her, shut the fuck, I'm shut the- A!

Police! No! In a few seconds audience, I'm gonna have to get a fucking hearing egg. You hear that? Get out of the door right now. Come on, get you go slow. I'm not, you're gonna tell you, man. Police.

Put your hands up and show yourself. Nice, bro. What a good way to give away your fucking location. Bro, if you was trying to catch a criminal, you know, walk into the place you're trying to catch the criminal. And then announce to the entire world, you literally add everyone in the fucking Discord server. Hey guys!

I'm a fucking cop, but I'm here. Like, holy shit, you're an idiot. Take the left, son, I'll clear it right. Bro, the police are right there. We have a camera system up here. Looks like he's newly installed. I don't know, bro. Those cameras were made in China.

That shit probably looked like this. Shunders, we gotta find this principle office. Come on, talk to you. Comments out below if you see it anywhere. Yeah, guys, comment on the video. Please comment on the video to boost the video performance in the YouTube algorithm. I see what you did there, Topper.

Very fucking slick, but it ain't gonna work on me. Yeah, that's right. Fuck you. Dude, that's a bathroom. Bruh. Sorry. Why do you look so stupid in this frame? You look like a crying four-year-old running out of the bathroom because he got fucking wedgied in there.

You look like a whiny pussy right now. If you guys thought that was a close call, make sure you keep watching because it only gets crazier and crazier. No way, Topper, it gets even crazier near the end of the video. Oh shit, I gotta watch it now. Yeah, no, but seriously, this video is literally 15 minutes long. Just for reference, we're not gonna be watching. the entire video because I want to have some remaining brain cells for the remaining of my day. I don't want to spend all my brain cells on a fucking Topper Guild video.

That would just be foolish. Topper, top of, quick, quick, what is it? Bro, oh my gosh, Principal. Come on, Top Team. Wait, bro, this must be the principal's office. Let's go. Wait, Tom, don't, don't, do. Oh my gosh.

This must be the golden safe. Oh my gosh, the totally top secret safe inside of the principal's office is right on top of the fucking table. That literally makes no sense whatsoever. Audience, if I was trying to hide some shit, especially from Topper Guild, bro, I would be carving holes in the wall in shit to hide the safe. And then I would be putting like a fucking Mona Lisa painting on top of it. I would be doing whatever it takes to hide my shit from Topper Guild.

Like seriously, do you trust this motherfucker with anything in your life? Wait, bro, it's locked? What? No, wait, we need a combination of numbers. Whoa, Top Team, you need a fucking combination of numbers to unlock a safe? Yes, you dumb ass, you fucking idiot. How are we supposed to find that? Wait, what's this?

Is it a note? Four golden items equals code to unlock safe? Oh my God, shutters. This is it. This is the answer we're looking for. God, dude, the plot of this video is so dog shit. How do we find them? I guess they're probably somewhere around the school.

Wait, what's that? Is that security camera? Oh my gosh. Shutters, you're right. These are the security cameras. We can see the entire school. I can see the police officers. Bro, they're looking for a shutters.

Where are the ads? They're just in the front hall where you triggered the alarm. It was an accident. Yeah, well, shutters, your accident caused the biggest fuck up in all of history. You guys thought Topper Guild wasting food was a bad idea. Ha! Fuck that. Shutters stepping on an alarm to trigger the police to find Topper Guild in a fake YouTube video.

Oh yeah, that's that real shit. But no, seriously, it's fucking crazy that the only real thing Topper Guild has done in his life is, well, you know, wasting food. That's pretty fucking goofy. I really just thought about that. Looks great. Come on. Let's go. Shutters, they're coming.

What do we do? Let's go. Roble square. There is no fucking way. These guys are real cops. Audience, the principal's office was literally big as fucking Walmart. And these guys walked through the main entrance and literally look two feet in front of them. And they're like, yeah, Coase is clear.

Like, what the fuck? Oh my gosh. Shutters, that was a close call. Bro, what are we supposed to do? We got to get that safe open. Bro, we have to split up. Why would we split up? So you can go find the golden object.

And then I'll stay here and I'll tell you where they're out with The security system. Wait, why do I have to go find the golden objects? You're the faster one. No, I'm not. Buddy, have you not seen your best friend shutters? I'm not saying anything. I just think that Topper Guild would be a little bit faster than somebody that's a little bit

wider, you know, than him. Yeah, no, actually, shutters, you need to get into the fucking gym. You need to hop on a treadmill, my boy. Beat me on the stairs, Topper. Okay, but shutters, how are we supposed to communicate? Wait, what are these? Bro, are these walkie-talkies? Oh my God.

And more convenient items for the plot of the video. Oh my God. Top Team, do you guys see this golden object? They're not to come. You're a trap, bro. Do something. Oh gosh. Top Team, the cops are coming.

Okay. He jumped into the pool. They can't even see him. I am fucking done. I don't even need to explain this part of the video. These deaf muffuckus actually just let Topper Guild literally swim in a fucking swimming pool behind them. This is definitely the fakesest Topper Guild video I've ever fucking seen. Fesh!

Mesh! You guys, please. Why the f f f f-do I look like the Delaware corner? Dude, you're making an entire mess. Clean this up, my boy. I do not miss recording this shit. All right, people, what's up? Today, I share with you my experience with Topper Guild.

Around three months ago, I recorded four videos with Topper Guild. So today, let's check out my least favorite collab video with Topper Guild. Vesh Remy and Rith teach me how to roast. First off, I don't know what the f*** the thumbnail is. That I go transracial or some shit. And me and Vesh turned into like a fucking centaur. Vesh! Wait, you guys, please, I'm sick at time to be made fun of on the internet.

Can you guys please teach me how to roast? For context, we recorded this video so late at night. During the entire recording of this video, I wanted to go to bed so bad, because just before that video, re-recorded this video here, so, uh, to say the least, I was so tired. And seeing this motherfucker run up to me in speaking like that at that volume and so fast, to say that I wasn't pissed off is the furthest from the truth.

Where do you come from? You guys always get so much positivity and I get so much hate. You guys just please teach me your ways? Just slow down for a second. We'll teach you, but not for free. What do we get a guy of this? I'll tag you guys. Yeah, uh, Topper Guild tagging me in a YouTube video doesn't do shit.

Listen, audience, this guy may have 20 million subscribers. But listen, if you ever collab with this guy, do not expect to gain more than two subscribers from this guy. When this motherfucker was trying to tell us, he would tag us in a YouTube video, I was like, dude, I don't want a fucking graveyard to subscribe to me. Oh, you tag me all the time. I gained, like, no subscribers from that. That is so fact.

Okay, fine, I'll pay you guys like 100 bucks. I want my bump with 100 bucks. 200 bucks each. That's the same thing. I can't pay my bills with that. Okay, fine. $10,000 each? I guess.

You guys just teach me how to road? That's all I want. Okay, but that's it. You guys will do it? Yeah. Yeah, so the money was fake. I mean, seriously, did you really expect Topper Guild to give us $10,000 each? And also, let's not forget that this guy was walking around with $20,000 cash.

If that money was real, this motherfucker would get shot in L.A. Because if a random homeless guy seen Topper Guild on the side of the road, of course the guy's going to kill him. He has $20,000. But anyways, yeah, the money was fake. Go figure. You guys, thank you so much for real. Chill out, bro. What do you mean? Chill out.

Well, thank you guys. So much for like, sit down. All right. Walk off. What is that? It's my notebook. I want to take notes. What are these folders for?

Look these away. What do you do? I'm taking notes. You only need one, bro. Dude, you're making an entire mess. Clean this up. Yeah, by the end of us recording this YouTube video. To say the classroom wasn't completely screwed up is a complete understatement.

By the end of this video, I have never seen so much scattered across the floor. It was absolutely absurd. If you thought Topper Guild and the food videos were fucking disgusting. You haven't seen shit. This classroom was f***ed up. Welcome to roasting 101. With me, obviously, I'm here. And with Red, the best person that ever walked the face of the planet.

This is very true, by the way. One, best person. Yeah, you make sure to write that down 20 times. That's the only good thing. Tupper Guild did this entire video. I unironically don't know if Topper knows how to spell shit. Anytime we had to write something for our videos, this man literally had a fucking assistant write all the shit for him.

Like, Topper, can you not spell shit whatsoever? Topper, you're the only person in here. You don't have to raise your hand. What is the drift? Who the f***ed this video? Stop doing that shit. Let it's all. Bitch, I just look like you now.

That's the point. I'm dripping like a faucet right now. So I can mark off drip. Step one, we're good. Next lesson. Stop the cream. See, cringe? That stop.

See, audience, look at me. I know how to properly spell shit. If you can easily read the word cringe, type cringe in the comment section. I didn't even say cringe. Chopper, shut the fuck up. Yes, it did. This is the cringe. Look.

Yeah, this is one of my videos. I didn't even ask for this. I don't even like these. Dude, this is over 2 million likes. They're laughing at you, not with you. Well, how do I stop this? Just like that. And then we kiss.

Whoa, whoa! Is Riff fucking gay? I'm just kidding, audience. We didn't fucking kiss. The only thing that happened in this sequence was he smelled my fucking onion breath. Alright, time for your next lesson. Stop copying. What are you doing?

Dude, stop copying. But the answers were right here. You need to come up with their original stuff. You got nothing to say? Can I take off the drips now? Fuck off, no you can. Stop going to goopo. Now we're gonna go over everything that we've taught you.

Okay? As you can see, this handwriting is too good for Topper. I'm telling you, Topper has an assistant to write all this shit Because he doesn't know how to fucking spell. How goofy does that sound to you? Oh, this is going to be easy. We'll see about that. Holy shit.

I got a good jaw line. Yes, Topper, your pee is small. Done. All right, let's see what you're made of. Question one, what should you wear? Bright pink? Right? Isn't that like what you're supposed to wear?

No, drink. But I'm still wearing the draft. Yeah, but you highlighted the wrong line. How do you still get the wrong answer when you're wearing the answer? Because I thought you were supposed to wear something bright for like a good YouTube thumbnail. Okay, I'll be honest. Topper does have a good point. Bro, when he said that, I had such a nervous smile on my face.

I was like, damn, he fucking got me right there. Topper's right, though. If you want to have a good thumbnail, you gotta wear something bright as fuck. I only think about the content, bro. You need to think about being cool. Question two, identify the cringe. Roasting people. Right, you guys are like the two cringiest guys on YouTube.

Isn't that cringe? Do I even need to say anything? Look at me in Vesha's face. We're like, what the fuck are you talking about bitch? Aren't you guys the cringiest? Shut the fuck up, Topper. What? Yeah, that's far from the truth.

You're the cringiest, bro. You're so cringe. Question three, how to make videos. Okay, I definitely got this one right. This was like the easiest one. Copying Brett Rivera, copying Ben Azelart, and copying Mr. Beast. Okay, genuine question.

How the hell does Topper Guild copy Mr. Beast? Maybe I'm just stupid, but does Toppergill not have the budget for any of this shit? You realize, Topper, that Mr. Bees is like Mr. Friken Monopoly. That man could buy your life if he wanted to. So as far as I'm concerned, Topper, you can't do shit like Mr. Bees. Bro, my mom loves Mr. Bees. Why do you copy him? Because your mom loves him. That was so fucking unfunny.

Well, you failed this test, bro. Are you serious? Wait, what are you doing? We gotta do it there for the approach. Okay, guys, I'm taking off the drip. It is way too hot here. Why do you have a pit stains? It's because I get nervous. I'm a bad test taker.

That is nice. You're disgusting. Those pit stains were real, by the way. If you guys thought that Topper's spelling was bad, Oh my God his hygiene did this motherfucker not even put on deodorant in the morning because I sh-shed you not those pit stains are actually real We didn't have a water bottle on standby to wet his under shirt or anything like that That fucking puddle in his shirt is real Since you're a lost cause and you failed your test we're gonna stop the problem that is source your content Okay, so what do you want to do let's watch it and we're gonna roast you live

How was I gonna help me? No mom's never gonna know because I can't even up right now Well, this is funny no one fucking isn't. You're laughing at your own videos. That's how you know it. Oh, he's not funny. Why are you wearing a bright pink robe? Why do you own that? Yeah, Topper, you owning that robe is gay as fuck. I never thought a single man on this planet would own a robe like that. But it was only when I met Topper Guild that anything is possible in pretty much the worst way imaginable. I don't know. I just thought it was dripped. Drift. Bro, that's the exact opposite of drift. That is the furthest thing from Drift. Okay. All right, let's just keep on you. 20 bucks?

No, wait. This is so relatable. Topper shut the fuck up. Bro, why are you even making that face? You look like mirror mirror on the fucking wall. It looks creepy as shit. Alright, next video then. Trash, trash, trash, trash, bitch. Yellow has a ton of flavor.

I've had yellow before. It has absolutely. Why are we wearing a powerful girl's sweater? Yeah, dog, you should be wearing that. I literally paid you guys. And now you guys are probably gonna make content out of this. Yeah, exactly. Congratulations, Topper.

You're so fucking perceptive. Alright, come on, new video. Wait, wait, wait, wait. You're wearing drift here. This one? Yeah. Yeah. gonna take this notebook into a fancy restaurant.

Woo, you're looking sexy in that, dude. Holy crap. So I just have to be more like that. Supercar and then just kind of like tight fitted dress shirt. Yeah. And then once you have both of those things, you'll also get girls, dude. Really?

Yeah, Topper, I fucking lie to your face. I don't think it matters what the fuck you're wearing, dude. You gotta fix that hair. It looks like a bird's nest. And I've seen birds nest look better than your fucking hair. You got this, Topper. Remember, dripped, cringe, and coffee.

Showtime. What are those? Alright, I'm gonna go kill myself. Anyways, audience, I'm gonna go back to where the dark ones came. Everybody subscribe so I can pass Topper Guild and subs.