Sad Boyz - 36 Questions to Fall in Love

Episode Date: October 15, 2017

On the inaugural episode of the Sad Boyz, Jarvis and Jordan ponder the NYT's 36 Questions to fall in love from their hotel room in LA where they are sharing a bed. We also discuss the parent trap, star wars, why everyone in LA is so well-dressed and what this podcast is even about.

Welcome to Sad Boys, a podcast about feelings and other things also. I'm Jarvis. And I'm Jordan. Jordan, they let us start a podcast. They let us start a podcast. They said it would never happen. They said it would never happen. The man tried to put us down.

The man, mostly a man named Dan. Mostly a very specific man named Dan tried to take our microphones away. He had a plan. He had a plan and by God, he wouldn't let us record. He wouldn't let us record, but we're here. We're here against... Against Dan's wishes.

They said I'd be dead by 25. They said I'd be dead by 25, and look at me now. 23 years old, still alive. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I'm also still alive, and I'm 25 and a half.

And we're back for real this time. Hey, Jarvis. It's me, Jordan Cope. Hey, itope hey it's me Jarvis hey I don't have a last name it's just me default Jarvis it's just me your boy Jarvis well that is your twitter handle it's true follow me at Jarvis claim to fame it might be in fact uh most people are disgusted when they find out that I have the twitter handle that I do and I don't have a ton of followers yeah how often does that come up every day I. I want you to give me an average yearly mention. Uh, like somebody gets genuinely shocked by the fact that a, you have Jarvis. A year,

I'd say about 30 people probably. And B, how, what, what percentage of those 30 people are pissed off that you don't have more followers? Um,'s it's a smaller percentage of those people but i've been propositioned on the internet for my handle and uh because people are like i have more followers yeah so you have to give it to me and i'm like that's not how this works it's not even yeah it's like some some actor from the uk tried to get me to sell my uh handle for like a hundred dollars and i was. And you said no? I know. I know. Wait, wait.

Did he say $100 or £100? Because this is the UK. He tried to give me a dollar amount. I think he was trying to stoop down to my level. Right, because if it was £100, that's thousands of dollars, Jarvis. You missed out. I don't know if that's how that works.

It's hundreds of thousands of dollars. Well, I've got to, I'll call him back. I know his name. I know his name. I know his handle. He's at the very least Jarvis. I know what his handle isn't. So we've covered one name.

Yeah, we've got one name. If you're in the process of elimination, which I already have a head start on, I can find it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, like, there's only so many, like, what's the combinations of Twitter names out there? There's only so many not Jarvis's on Twitter. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's got to be a small number. I've got to imagine. We're staying at a hotel, we should say. We're staying at the Hilton Checkers. Yes. This is the scenic Hilton Checkers in Los Angeles, California. This Hilton has a Checkers attached to it, but not the Checkers you're thinking of. No, no.

This was originally a Checkers that then expanded into a Hilton Hotel. Yeah. And when we say we're staying at it, it's really Jordan staying at it for work. And I've literally just like crashed here. And I found Jarvis in my bag after I unloaded from the plane. It took him a while. He has incredible upper arm strength. I'd packed pretty heavy for a four day trip.

Yeah, you really did. And I had brought several other mixed race friends. So I didn't find Jarvis for a while. We were Brockhampton down there in that bag. All 48 members of Brockhampton. We were Odd Future. It's just two boys. It's just two guys talking about their feelings.

It's just two sweet little boys talking about the things that make them feel. And we're here to talk to you about emotional stuff that makes us uncomfortable, but also just to, like, I don't know, do bits about like lindsey lohan the classic bit yeah i mean this show i would say is 33 feelings 33 gin and tonic and 33 lohan uh which for any listeners who don't know what a gin and tonic is it's a drink uh

only made in america uh you can it's a genie drink it's a genie drink a gene and tonic it's spelled d-j-i-n-n it will grant you one wish as long as your wish is to drink it yeah it's exactly one wish i guess every every drink grants you one specific wish yeah yeah i guess that's true well we are really our own genies in a way yeah in a way our id is our genie our id is the the wish be the wish you want to be in the world i'm just saying i i watched the parent trap in this hotel room dude that might have been the highlight of the trip the bananas thing about the parent trap while we were watching it because we turned it on just because we're in a hotel and we don't often get access to terrestrial television.

I haven't seen a commercial in six years. I've not watched regular cable TV for 700 years. And when we turned it on, I was like a Neanderthal amazed that this thing still existed. We still don't understand how advertisements work in 2017. We were watching The Parent Trap as boys in their 20s. And as a result like one props to Lindsay Lohan

yeah she did a great job she was what two years old and played two different roles that's pretty impressive do you think

there's a contingent of twins that find that offensive playing your own twin I don't know that there are that many twins that are acting together

no like you know but you know what I mean like there's probably a i can guarantee that there is a twins actors guild that twins actors you guarantee there's a twins actors guild how many people are the twins actors guild at least two

to be clear that's one complete set of twins so In a way, there's one, because as we all know, twins are just half of a person. Nope, that's not how that works. No, you said that. Welcome to the Sad Boys. This is a podcast about emotional sincerity. As you can tell. We're here to talk about feelings. Feelings?

Comedy? Yeah, like I was going to say feelings and poop jokes. Yeah, I like that. Jokes about Parent Trap. We're really just bringing the topical points. What's hot right now? Old Lindsay Lohan vehicles. Lost in Parent Trap.

I'm ready to make jokes about Not Penny's Boat. We have to go back. And also remember that time Lindsay Lohan played two people in a movie. The year is 2017. The year is 2017. The year is 2017. It is not relevant. We've finally been released from our time capsule. I'm Ian Jarvis from the year 1998.

And we love The Parent Trap. And have you seen Jinko Jeans? We love The Parent Trap, Jinko Jeans, and Bill Clinton. I assume he's done nothing wrong he's done nothing wrong sad boys is a podcast hosted by a black guy and a white guy on average yeah we have to qualify that because we are both both we are both both which was the alternative name for the podcast which basically sounds like you're putting your mouth through the olympics yeah so we decided not to call it both both although both both would have been a very good name. Maybe we start the show again.

Maybe new show? Both Both kind of sounds like one of those Star Wars characters in the background. Ones that people that love the expanded universe are obsessed with. You don't know about Both Both? Sorry, I thought you were a fan. You don't even know about Both Both? That's like when I... So I actually just saw the Star Wars movies.

Like all of them. I saw the six movies before the seventh movie came out. Wait, I'm sorry. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I'm sorry. This is so unfortunate because I was excited to record a podcast. Unfortunately, we do have to cancel this podcast and instead do a Star Wars and Jarvis podcast. Are you fucking kidding me?

Yeah, no. So I guess this was like a year ago now but i had not seen any star wars movies this is huge and i watched four five six one two three did you do it uh you did it in release chronology not release chronology that's correct um and i enjoy them uh uh but like banthas like it was like what's that it's like no one ever says that's a bantha that's like i had to have like my my nerdy friend jerry yeah with a star wars encyclopedia explaining classic jerry yeah classic jerry explaining everything as it happened because those movies don't do a good job of explaining that but make you think everything is important well that's the thing about that i mean i don't want to get too deep on the Star Wars movies in the opening of our podcast about Felix.

The Star Wars series was never really about intricacy. That's the weird thing about the way that the fan base evolved, because Star Trek was. And there are several series where the driving force behind the way the show works is, here are the intricacies, learn them as deeply as you can, and then apply them. That's what Star Trek is. Whereas Star Wars was always just, what if Luke, but he had a lightsaber and then he swung it?

It was very simple. What I'm saying with Star Wars is that George Lucas read a Joseph Campbell book and was like, I want to make a movie. Yeah. Oh, this looks easy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Can I do that?

Maybe I can just do it. And then he just did. Maybe I just make the movie. Yeah. That's kind of like, what if like, hey, George. George, hey hey here's an idea what if like as a joke we just made the most popular movie of all time just out of nowhere hey you're a film student just like me right yeah i mean like surely you've put out one film god it's mad that star wars is as big as it is it because it is literally

it's literally a student film. It's literally somebody going to one person, going like, hey, but what if the biggest movie? What if we made the biggest movie? Hey, Jordan. Hi. What if we made the biggest podcast? Oh my God, great idea.

All right, so- We should probably give it a name that is extremely inaccessible. I was thinking something racially charged. Racially charged. Something that capitalizes on the current political climate in America. That could work. Oh, alternatively, what about sad boys? What about a name that exemplifies our feelings?

Ooh. Well, I don't know about you, Jarvis, but I'm pretty sad all the time. How about you? Yeah, I think sad boys is a name you know to to break the bit uh you'll you'll recognize that jordan often just lies a little bit yeah sometimes uh he's making a bit sometimes he's just lying my favorite bit is lying sad boys is a podcast about like emotions and stuff but it comes from a place of to to be completely honest, me looking for an outlet to talk about emotional subjects with my male friends and having nothing. Yeah.

And we should say, I mean, the name Sad Boys implies that it's just for the boys, but it's really not. Like we we're people. We should explain a little bit about like why we started the show. We started the show because we like talking about things that make us uncomfortable i absolutely we like talking about the kind of things that feel resonant and shocking and strange and scary and we wanted to find an outlet for those and hopefully sad boys can be a space where uh people of all gender identities and people of all backgrounds can talk about the things that make them uncomfortable yeah we want sad Boys to be a place where we don't have all the answers. But we're really curious and we have a lot of questions.

And I want this to be a safe space for people to just like be themselves, you know? And I think myself, I'm like a really like anxious dude. I'm like always overthinking everything and I'm always trying to figure out what everybody's feeling so I like bouncing my own feelings off of of someone else but it's really hard to engage in those types of conversations with my with my friends yeah I mean we want sad boys to be the kind of show going forward we're planning on having some guests having some potential uh weird topics having some fun ideas that we play with where guests of all

backgrounds and all identities and all histories and all perspectives to talk about the things that make them uncomfortable because in a weird way i don't think there's anything that gets you or me more excited than peculiar levels of intimacy. I agree. I think that we are both particularly candid people and that's not for everyone, but it's for us. And we want this to be for us and for our friends and for our own exploration. And hopefully it's also for you.

Hopefully the person that's listening is the kind of person that likes listening to a show or listening into a conversation where suddenly people are exposing parts of themselves that they wouldn't normally. And so often a lot of these shows are celebrity driven. You know, it's the idea of, hey, I'm a celeb and this is the personality I've got and these are the feelings I have. But I want to do that, though. I. OK, so I should take that back. We are having Brad Pitt on the first episode.

Yeah, and we're going to get emotional with him. We are going to get emotional with Brad Pitt, but after we get emotional with Brad Pitt, we're going to move back to regular human beings. We're going to move back to Dad Pitt. Dad Pitt, his secret father that no one knows about. Dad Pitt, I mean, you haven't lived until you had a four hour long conversation with dad pit

but mission wise i would say that the goal of sad boys is to basically open up a forum where we can have conversations that not only make us uncomfortable but also make other people uncomfortable we want to expose people to the feeling of oh well that's challenging but i'm glad i heard it. I feel like I've grown, you know? Yeah. But also we want to be entertaining. So we'll also just do that because naturally we are comedic geniuses.

Yeah. It's fortunate that we're incredibly funny and talented. We should give a quick heads up in that we are 100% perfect, which is a nice gift. I don't think I've ever made a mistake. Yeah. Which honestly, it's a curse at this point i mean really yeah just let me make one mistake i feel so bad for other people i hear they make mistakes and it's just not for me jordan we should explain who we are we should explain who we are who would like to start javis i am an improviser uh in in

i guess you could call me a comedian but uh i wouldn't but you could certainly yeah if you speak english you could call you a comedian yeah yeah you could also call me a dancer but that's not my you can call me a tiny dancer yeah you could you could pull me closer tiny dancer i could pull you closer and I could call you a tiny little dancer. But that would not make it any less true or any more true. Sure. I am also a software engineer in San Francisco. My name's Jordan Cope, and I'm kind of like the cool one, you know? Yeah, I'm like the one that people like.

Okay, yeah. Like of the two hosts, I'm like the one that they listen okay yeah like of the two hosts i'm like the one that they listen to the podcast and they think oh wow that's a guy i like yeah you know people are gonna take sides sure yeah show yeah because well i mean first off it's gonna blow up i mean let's not waste time it's not gonna not blow up i mean it's gonna have minimum eight eight to nine listeners no question red wire am i right um i would say that yeah i'm definitely the cool one of the group i'm also i do like a cool skateboard trick and stuff uh people don't know you're actually a professional skateboarder i hate skateboards like they scare me my name is jordan

cope and i am a human being uh i've never heard a more accurate description of who you are as a person. Not really about my job, Jairus. I'm just a human being. Well, it's great for you to just completely sell me out after I already talked about myself. But let's just move on to the next topic. Today, we're going to talk about the 36 questions that lead to love. I think Jordan and I might fall in love during the course of this podcast. I think we're way past love at this point. I think podcast co-host

is a step above love. You might be right. Every couple shooting for podcast co-host. But first, I want to talk about your week. How has your week been going, Jordan? My week's been pretty good, Jervis. We've been in Los Angeles, which if people don't know is a city in America, which is a country. For those in America, that's Los Angeles. I just wanted to give you a comfortable accent. I'm so sorry, Jarvis. That is actually wrong. Okay, sorry.

I'm afraid it is actually Los Angeles. We've been here for the last few days. And as a result, I've been exposed to something I want to talk to you about. And I only want to talk to you about it on mic. Oh, wow. Because it's kind of a unique... You've been saving this. I've been storing it up.

Okay. Okay, so Jarvis Johnson, we've taken a few walks in Los Angeles. We have. Los Angeles. To coffee shops, to restaurants, to pubs Mostly all Starbucks Mostly exclusively Starbucks Because you can't walk one foot without bumping into a Starbucks

We really wanted to go to some of the local flavour There's literally nothing else There's nothing else It's literally just Starbucks And then if you don't go to a Starbucks People look at you funny It's bizarre It's weird

People just made fun of me on the street. It was just because I was drinking coffee from another cafe. Yeah. It was quite strange. While we were walking around, we noticed a contingent of things, and you noticed this thing too. Okay. You don't know what I'm going to say.

I have no idea what you're going to say. People in LA, which, by the way, is Los Angeles, in case you didn't know. They are so well put together. They, oh my God, yes. They look amazing. Everyone in LA, you could just like take a photo of them and put them in a magazine. And we're not from the North Pole. We're from San Francisco.

San Francisco. Not that far away. It's not that far away, first of all. It's a one hour flight and it's a six hour drive we're in the same state they look amazing i don't understand what every single person people look incredible in la and it's not even like the kind of oh well i better dress to the nines because i'm heading out tonight it's like i just threw something on and this, I just look like I came out of a fucking photo shoot. I threw on perfection. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

We went to Phil's the other day to just do a little bit of work. And, you know, don't get me wrong. I think we dress fine. We dress fine. I think we dress, you know, we care about the clothes we wear. And we looked like we just put on a big garbage can.

We looked like we'd walked out of our door, picked up a garbage can from the street and put it on our body. We looked like we'd walked out of our door, picked up a garbage can from the street, and put it on our body. We looked like we were in a production of Oliver Twist. We looked like we were in Stomp, but not playing any music. It was crazy. I don't even know why. We're not even in a particularly trendy

part of Los Angeles. I think there might just be something about the Southern California chic that flags our brains as being very stylish there's something something that triggers that part of my mind because while we were walking around phil's i was just like oh am i allowed to get coffee because well these people are very handsome i think i feel like they should be getting coffee you should serve them first how so would you like my coffee everyone's got a crop top on or like some sort of midriff situation.

I have seen more midriff in the four days we've been in L.A. than my entire life prior. I've never wanted to do a crunch more. I've never wanted to do. In front of them to prove that I care about it. Yeah, I really just like felt bad about myself. And I shouldn't because you know like physical like appearance is not the most important thing but at the same time i felt like i was surrounded by models yeah it was like hanging out with only fabio it's just fabio everywhere

because then you start to warp your reality and you think everybody's fabio it's really bizarre yeah but i wanted to bring that up because not only is it something slightly bizarre that happened to us, but it feels like a very sad boys topic. This feels like the kind of thing we would have to acknowledge. A weird thing out in the world that makes us feel weird. And it's okay that we feel weird about it.

Yeah. And I think that I felt weird about that, like, even when I moved to San Francisco, I was like, oh, these people are really put together. And I think that what that taught me is that there's always going to be someone. There's always going to be something. And what resonates the most with people, I've found, is just being comfortable in your own skin.

There's always going to be somebody better looking than you. There's always going to be somebody more talented than you. You moved from Florida. Yeah. Or Georgia, sorry. Yeah, well, I grew up in Florida. I went to Georgia for school, and then I moved out to San Francisco after that. And yeah, I mean, like, Florida, SoCal kind of reminds me of Florida in a lot of ways, actually.

Similar, like, not the worst parts of the climate, but enough heat where people are like, oh, maybe I'll wear, like, a flip-flop. You've been to more spaces in the US than me. Do you feel like the way that people look in LA is significantly unique? Like, is this a thing that happens elsewhere? Because we've been to LA before. I've just never noticed. I don't know why.

I noticed when we were at VidCon in Indiana. Oh, really? Yeah, I was like, what is going on? Wait, it's starting to feel like maybe San Francisco is just gross. No, no, no, no. Do we just all look like shit in San Francisco? I think maybe I just spent a little bit too much time looking at myself in the mirror. That's a very good point.

These people are way better at looking good than I am. Yeah. I'll tell you what I wanted to talk about. Oh, yeah? So my week was pretty fine. Sure. And I was really looking forward to this trip coming down to SoCal, coming down to LA. And I managed to not get any sleep the night before my flight.

Yeah, you did an excellent job of getting no sleep. I did an excellent job of getting no sleep i did an excellent job of getting no sleep i was doing a great job of drinking soylent which has become a pastime for when i feel like i've run out of time you told me the other day that you were drinking soylent in the shower and after you said those words to me i pretty much lost 24 hours like it was such a incredibly upsetting image i lost respect for myself two weeks ago. Before I did it, I just knew I was going to do it. Before I did it, I knew it was coming. Because I ordered the Soylent on Amazon.

I was like, I ordered the Soylent and I ordered some Old Spice shower gel and I knew the two were going to meet. I knew the two were going to meet and it was going to be bad. But I was in a very busy headspace. I was really excited to like take a break for the weekend and come down to LA.

And then on Saturday I had a sketch show on Friday. I like didn't really have much time to get my stuff together to come here. I packed the morning at five packed between five and five 15 AM before calling the, uh, the Uber to go to the airport. And when I got here, I got a notification from Facebook. Oh, yeah? It was my 10-year friendiversary on Facebook with my friend Russell, who I grew up with in Florida. Oh, that's cute. Yeah, so we grew up in Florida.

We went to different schools. We came out to San Francisco together. And it was this weird moment because it it was like, I was sleep deprived. I was in a taxi and I was like reading, I was like watching this like video that an algorithm put together, but I was crying and I was like, I was like, how much power have I given to to the algorithm? A computer was like, it's time for me to do my computer thing. And I felt emotions.

Yeah, you got your ass kicked by an AI. An AI controlled my mind. It's time for Jarvis to cry, said Mark Zuckerberg. Yeah. it's time for Jarvis to cry said Mark Zuckerberg yeah yeah and that was that was weird for me because not only was I like crying trying to like share this post and being like it was this really was an important relationship for me I was sitting there like trying to be like I've gotta I've got to call Jordan and have him come downstairs I I've got to wipe these tears away. This Uber driver probably thinks I'm insane. Does it feel weird? Like, I've heard similar stories in the past where it's like,

oh, I just saw the five-year anniversary of me and my wife the day we got married. Do you feel like digital representations of memories devalue actual memories? Or are they just as valuable? I think for myself, I'm very bad at actual memories. I think that in terms of like what happened to me, I am a person who's always like, oh, you remember that time when we did this thing? And then I'm like, oh, I guess I remember that time. You've reinforced that memory by telling me about it. But I'm not the one who's reminding everybody about the thing that happened in the past yeah and as a result of that i think that i am just like completely oblivious to these things and

if an algorithm comes around and goes hey like here's some photographs from 2007 and i'm like 2007 was yesterday and they're like no it was no i'm afraid it was actually 700 years ago i think you're going to die tomorrow i feel like after the after the new millennium after the year 2000 every year yeah every year in the future every year now means nothing, unfortunately. And they're only coming faster. I could have sworn years used to be 365 days long, and now they appear to be less than a day. And there's a reason for that, and it's the relativistic nature of time. Or it's the freaking economy.

Or it's the economy. I don't want to get into that now. I think you might be conflating the economic performance of the pound with our perception of time. Now's not the time to insult my culture that I hate, Jarvis. Now's the time to talk about our topic for the day. Well, every week Jordan and myself and perhaps a guest are going to take a funny and biting and emotionally distressing look at the uncomfortable realities that make us, us. Yeah, that's kind of the goal of the podcast. And as a kickoff to the show, we thought we would do this fun little Q&A where we found a series of questions.

Jarvis, remind me where these questions are from. Jordan. Yes. I'm lonely. I can tell. And the New York Times, in the fashion and style section, in the modern love subsection of that section. My favorite subsection. Daniel Jones wrote an article. And the article was titled, The 36 Questions That Lead to Love.

Yeah. Which Dan knows. Dan knows what leads to love. OK, Dan has solved love. He's had hundreds of marriages. He's new game plus on love. He's cracked the Konami code on love. are these 36 questions that can increase the intimacy between two strangers and potentially accelerate their relationships with one another.

Sounds great. Yeah. So I have chosen a subset of these questions. I've chosen four of the 36. Okay. And I'm going to ask them to you. Normally you're supposed to alternate, but I want to, I've done this before. Right. supposed to alternate but i want to uh i've done this before right and i i want to bring this to

you jordan cope and see how you respond to questions meant to bring you closer to your partner that's interesting well so i've never seen these questions i'm i don't really know what the tone of them is or what like the general mission of them is. Question one, do you love me? I'm ready to be surprised. What's the real question? Not ready to answer that one. Just kidding. That's not the real question. All right, first question.

Hit me. What would constitute a perfect day for Jordan Cope? Wow. In this scenario, are we saying that I have the resources to have any day that I want? Or are we talking in my life? Like basically you are architecting the perfect day. Oh, wow. Okay.

And infinite money? Is that the scenario? Infinite money. But ostensibly, this is about relationships. So the perfect day for you, like when you're with a partner. Yeah, yeah. but ostensibly this is about relationships. So sure. The perfect day for you, like when you're with a partner or,

or when you're by yourself, but like probably with about the means that you have now. Totally. Um, I would say my perfect day, uh, every single time I get up on a weekend, like actually get up at a reasonable time as opposed to,

you know, 5 PM. Right. Right. Uh, I feel to, you know, 5 p.m. Right, right. I feel really, really positive if I wake up early. So I'd wake up early. I'd take a stroll around the neighborhood. I'd take in the sights. And then the thing that changes a day from mediocre day to a really good day for me

is accidentally bumping into somebody I know. Oh, really? Yeah. I don't want a long conversation because, by God, I don't give a shit about what's going on in your life. Do not care about that at all. Do not tell me. Just the bumping into somebody I know. Oh, really? Yeah. I don't want a long conversation because by God, I don't give a shit about what's going on in your life. Do not care about that at all. Do not tell me.

Just the bumping. I want the very, I want me to wake up and like, oh, fucking, oh my God, another day for Jordan Cope. Jesus Christ.

I get out of my bed. Oh, half a shower. Oh, I've run out of shower gel again. Oh my God. Oh, this toothbrush sucks. And I finally get out of my apartment i head downstairs i leave my apartment i'm in a bit of a mood because it's a saturday i'm not sure how to take it on yeah and then i bump into jarvis i bump into molly i jump into james yeah and then

suddenly they're a human at me yeah like that's a treat for me somebody's a human at me yeah and i go hmm yeah i guess it's all right after all and then like i meet their level i engage with them and i continue along with my day after i bump into that person perfect day for me is like doing something mildly creative and then playing a dangerous amount of overwatch okay i like that i like that i don't want to slap labels on you but you're a person who interactions with other people drain you of energy yeah i in a very traditional sense i'm an introvert yeah yeah okay and not in the negative way i i value spending time with other people which i mean is the whole reason i started a podcast about doing that yeah but at the same time it's not rejuvenating for me to bump into somebody what

it is is uh stimulating like if i were to bump into somebody in the street then suddenly oh my god i'm getting all of these feelings and you're filling me with feelings and then when we separate i get to utilize those feelings i get that you know okay yeah i'm gonna take those feelings and i'm gonna do something with them i'm gonna do some great grocery shopping or i'm gonna just do i'm gonna go for a run you know just something this reminds me of like when you're in a like a jumbo jet and another jet comes to like fuel you up it's exactly

like that yeah and it's not like a very long lived relationship yeah I've already taken off I've left the runway I'm in the air and I'm like well I'm a little rickety there's a bit of a turbulence. Right.

And then somebody careens in, gives me the fuel I require and then exits. Yeah. Oh my God. The exit is crucial. Oh, lovely. I found myself, I feel dread. Now I'm somewhere between the traditional introvert and the traditional extrovert. Sure.

I'm someone who definitely like loses energy if I'm exclusively interacting with other people in particularly draining situations, but I'm also someone who appreciates time to themselves, but can't do it forever. Yeah. You know, but I feel dread when I imagine having to spend an entire day or even longer than I had hoped with someone

in a physical interaction. Like today we were meeting with somebody who we liked and I was nervous when it continued to go on. Yeah, it was like, there's just no like saving that. That's the weird thing about spending time with people you like. Do you's the weird thing about spending time with people you like yeah is do you ever get that thing where uh you've maybe thrown a house party or something like that and it's been going on for maybe four or five hours right like this was so fun and i consciously

chose to have this thing happen at what point can i say i've had enough fun this was so fun i'm get the fuck out of my face i'm filled up yeah you my fuel that's like if the plane was flying next to you and now the fuel's just spilling below you onto the people below you because i i'm my tank is full we can separate again no it's like if uh they they came to refill your plane and then after you filled up they were just there and they were like what's up it's like i just want a friend yeah they weren't they weren't the fuel was no longer entering your plane they're just like yeah so do you enjoy clouds or like you like flying how do you like it's kind of crazy we're at 40 000 for you right now like that's pretty wild what about you jarvis what's your perfect day oh okay so my perfect day is you, honestly, like the perfect day for me is the perfect day that I know.

I've definitely had like I've had amazing days that played out in a way that I couldn't have expected. But this is like when I wake up on a Saturday and I'm like, how do I want to seize the day? Yeah. And the way that I want that to go down is like, I need my coffee. I always need my coffee. Don't even talk to me until I've had my coffee. Exactly. Exactly.

And I mean, you could talk to me. And you wear that t-shirt every day. I wear a black t-shirt with white text that says, don't even talk to me until I've had my coffee. So I have my coffee. And then I, usually that involves like going to Phil's or going to another coffee shop that's near my apartment. Which is kind of like a nice trial version of bumping into somebody you know. Oh, exactly. Because it's not somebody you know, but it's somebody you kind of know.

It's a familiar exercise. Yeah, it's like watching a TV show you've seen before. Yeah, I go knowing full well I have coffee beans at my apartment and the beans to make coffee on my own. But I want to interact with people and I think coffee is like a great connector for that. And usually I want to write on a weekend. Like usually I want to have like some sort of creative output. So I like try to find the time for that. And then maybe a little bit of watching television, maybe a little bit watching YouTube, maybe catch up on the most recent SNL if it's like a Sunday.

Yeah, nothing wrong with indulging a little bit. I go to my, you know, Jordan, I live on top of a Irish pub. You sure do. And I often go there on weekends for brunch. And it's weirdly, it's very similar to the Phil's experience. Like, I love having the like awkward dialogue with the people who work there and they, they know me and they're, they're just like, you know, how's it going? And they take an interest in my life. They're like,

what's going on? We've noticed X and Y. And I'm like, this is cool. I really like feeling like I'm in the sitcom right now. How long have you lived above that pub? I've lived above that pub for about three years. I'm curious. This is kind of, I guess, like kind of a broad scale question. Do you feel like you've hit the cap of what your relationship with those people can be? You know, I thought I had, but it continues to change. That's great. I hope so.

Recently, I was like drinking coffee there and I was like, do you guys have takeaway and they were like just take the mug up and i was like oh wow i could just like leave with the okay so you basically worked there like they've officially let you in yeah they were like oh you're looking for roommates you know like this girl who works at the bar is looking for a room wow and i was like oh i actually filled all my spots. But I was like, would I? Thanks for pushing me in the right direction. Yeah, no, I think that's like pretty cool. It's a barrier that I have at a few of my local spots right now. I'm like, oh, I like coming here, but I feel like we've plateaued.

Our relationship is not developing. Yeah, yeah. And, you know, it doesn't need to, but I definitely appreciate what I have there. So, yeah, that's my perfect day. And I'm lucky to say that I have it my way. Very nice. How many times did you rehearse that? Six. Thousand times.

All right, Jordan, I have another question for you. Hit me up. The next question is, for what in your life do you feel most grateful? Wow. And I just want to say uh if you are playing along at home feel free to throw us your answers on twitter at sad boys pod with a z with a z because we're cool because we couldn't find anything else because it's better for seo um uh the thing i'm most grateful for i think i would probably lean somewhere towards, I mean, broad scale speaking, health. Like I'm very fortunate in the fact that I don't really have any really heavy health blockers that I have to deal with on a daily basis. Everybody has their things here and there,

but occasionally you'll meet somebody and you're like, wow, you have to accommodate everything around this. Yeah. Honestly, I think that that's something that people take for granted. Like, have you ever had a cold and then been like, wow, I really didn't appreciate that time when I didn't have a cold, you know, most of my life. I really do miss breathing through both nostrils. Gosh, I enjoy feeling like I'm going to live. Hey, Jarvis, you want to come to a party? Oh, I can't.

My throat is bad. I just can't leave the house. I can't even breathe. Yeah, this is over. I'm not Jarvis anymore. If I don't sit up straight with chicken noodle soup, then I'm not a boy. I'm not a boy anymore. I am simply a puddle of sad.

I'm, yeah, merely a puddle of sadness. And I think that that is like those moments of gratitude, like in your sickness, are like the only glimmers of like health gratitude that you really get. So I think it's like, you know, comforting to me that you're thinking of that like foremost when it comes to gratitude. Yeah, I have this routine and this show is all about weird exposing intimacy. So I'm going to say something that I don't tell really anyone because it's a thing I just do by myself.

And now you're telling I was going to say all of us, but let's be clear. I'm the only listener. I mean, let's be clear.'m the only listener i mean let's be clear 700 000 listeners minimum on the pilot let's not beat around the bush on the pilot i mean like the pilot really can only hold 300 people in his plane we tweeted at malcolm gladwell to shout out the podcast and i assume he already has right i would be pretty upset curly locks have already shouted out the podcast. Fingers crossed.

We'll just at a bunch of people. Brad Pitt, do you enjoy sad boys? Before the episode comes out, we'll just at him and be like, hey, did you enjoy sad boys? Sads boys. Yeah, yeah. Brad Pitt and Dad Pitt.

Dad Pitt and Dad Pitt. His son, Dad Pitt. Brad Pitt and Dad Pitt'll likely appreciate that. But a thing that I do when I'm just hanging out at home, if I ever get sick or even if I just feel like a little bit nauseous, I'm really bad at feeling nauseous. I don't have a process for it. So what I'll do is I'll lie in the bathtub and I will just turn on the shower.

That's it. I'll just let the water hit me and I'll just get into it. Oh, you're in the shower. I thought you turned on the shower for for the white noise i don't hate the white noise but i'll get into the shower i'll turn it on i'll just let the water hit me and i'll every single time i do that even if i'm just a teensy bit nauseous i'll think to myself wow this sucks and it rules that i don't feel like this all the time right right it rules that i can stand up after the shower make a cup of tea play a video game like all of these these these things you take for granted i

have mobility i have health i have consistency like that's a very privileged position to be in definitely of all those things i feel most grateful for the fact that i don't have to think about things like that at no point if i had to say, like when I moved to the States, for example, I never had to say like, well, when I moved to the States, how am I going to be able to last that 12 hour flight? Am I going to get sick? Like, no, I'm pretty functional overall. I'm a functional person. And I think too often that is taken for granted. That's a great answer. Thanks, dude. That was the right answer. Now, what's your wrong answer? Well, my answer is I'm really grateful for my fat stacks of cash.

Money. No, I think that I'm most grateful for, this is kind of cliche, but like my friends. Sure. I won't get into it on this episode, but I come from a fairly non-traditional family background. And if it weren't for my people in my life, like looking out for me and looking out for my, my wellbeing and my future and giving me information that I did not have access to otherwise, or didn't know where to look otherwise, I don't know that I would be where I am today. And I think that like, and I'm still connected with a lot of those people. And I'm just like, so, so grateful for the role they played in my life. It's like, these aren't people that I, that I talk to every day. These aren't people that I think about every day. But when I think about what I'm really grateful for and what I think about and what I think had

the most impact on my current position in life, it it's those people yeah but the weird thing about like finding a network of people that aren't familiarly obliged to be your friend like they have no biological obligation to like you or be kind to you that's kind of the greatest uh privilege right yeah it's like what are you here for you must genuinely give something of a Yeah, it's like, what are you here for? You must genuinely give something of a shit, right? Yeah, it's weird. And I don't want to discount anybody who doesn't have those kind of people in their lives because

they're out there. You can find those people. Yeah, and I think the reason that I'm grateful for it is because I'm aware that not everyone has that. And it took a little while to find in both of our cases. It definitely, a little while to find. Absolutely. Yeah. It's like it definitely, especially or even to recognize what it was because it's very easy to have

that and start being taken for granted and not really realize it for the, the asset that it is. Most definitely. Yeah. And it's especially surprising because you are pretty unlikable. Like you're not like a good person at all. I'm a devil in sheep's clothing. You're a devil in devil's clothing.

It's very clear to me that you're not a good guy. I wear Prada. I'm a devil and I wear Prada. That would be pretty shocking if one day the devil actually walked the earth and it turns out he genuinely wears Prada and it's not like, you know, an ironic thing. He just thinks it looks good. Yeah. And I mean like, what did Prada do other than make a dope product? Don't put the blame on Prada. Yeah. You can't blame Prada

for the devil wearing it. The devil knows what he likes. Exactly. Um, so hit me with that Jarvis Johnson. Yes. Hit me with that nasty third question are you ready for the three or four fill me up the uh the 75 question oh yeah if a Chris this one's getting a little bit fantasy like okay if a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself your life the future or anything else what would you want to know? Like, what's the topic I would choose? Like you've got this crystal ball. I say mirror, mirror on the wall. What's the X of them all?

Yeah. I mean, like you've got a crystal ball. You've got access to this, but, but like presumably it's limited. Yeah. And so you can ask it one thing about your own life. Like, it's not even about like, cause now I understand the desire to be selfless in this situation, but you have to be selfish in this situation so sure so what is the thing I want to know about my life in the future

or what's like the I can I can okay in the future what's the thing I want to know about what Jordan's up to yeah I mean not to be crass but did OJ do it? I mean... Is that one that I can ask? I mean, yeah. That's one thing you can ask in the future. Great. But I don't know that any new information will be introduced. Wait, no.

I'll ask the crystal ball. Did OJ do it again? Did he ever go for it again? That might be a waste. I mean, it's topical because OJ did just get out of prison and SNL did an amazing sketch. A dynamite sketch. With Kenan Thompson and Gal Gadot about OJ Simpson.

And shout outs to Kenan. He plays a dynamite OJ. Kenan Thompson is a national treasure. Yeah. And we are taking him for granted. And nobody expected that. Nobody was ready for Kenan Thompson to a national treasure. Yeah. And we are taking him for granted. And nobody expected that. Nobody was ready for Kenan Thompson to be everyone's favorite. You know what really upset me?

Yeah. So Kenan Thompson came to Georgia Tech, my alma mater. Wow. And he did a like sort of it was more a Q&A stand up thing. Like he just was like, hey, I'm going to be on stage. Sure. And I'm going to be present and I'm going to answer, hey, I'm going to be on stage. Sure. And I'm going to be present and I'm going to answer your questions. I'm going to

talk to you. And everyone just kept asking about Kel. What? That made me so upset. Not even, wait, kept asking about Kel? Just get it out in one question? Where's Kel? We don't know. And then it's over? Yeah, and he's like, I still talk to Kel,

but like, and Kel's still working in the industry. But Kenan has made an incredible career all on his own. And the fact that like most people are like just being nostalgic and they're like, oh, well, where's the other half of like my childhood? Yeah. And it's like, dude, like Hollywood is hard. Like, can we not celebrate like keenan really just being really just like somehow conquering hollywood like he has been on snl he is the longest tenured member of saturday night live we should mention this is the keenan cast

this is half sad boys half keenan cast this is the keenan cast we hope one day we'll get Keenan Thompson on the show. Can you fucking imagine? Game over. I don't think, maybe this is my hubris speaking. Okay. But I do not think it's out of the realm of possibility that one day we talk to Keenan Thompson. One day, if at the end of every single episode, a call to action is that everybody that listens tweets says why aren't you on sad boys yet yeah i mean like sure we'll have to be successful for a while until keenan takes notice

wait no here's the tweet after every single time you listen to sad boys and the episode ends you send a tweet to keenan and the content of the tweet is, why do you hate me? Hashtag sad boys. Or is it who loves orange soda? Oh, right. Kel loves orange soda. What happened to Kel? Has anybody asked lately?

No one's asked. It's like people act like they don't know what Google is. My name's Kenan Thompson, a.k.a. Secret Google. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like you ask questions that the answer is available on the internet. He has an IMDb page, presumably, right?

Yeah, he has a Twitter. A Twitter, yeah, which is way more up to date. He's trying to reach the world and everybody else is going through Kenan Thompson. Everybody else is trying to get to him.

He's trying to be famous again. Get together. Be a team for some reason there's a mismatch you just can't get these two groups of people together the supply and the demand are not able to find each other yeah apparently a pretty significant portion of georgia tech wants to see cal again i'm cal's more than willing to find a new audience upset at my my fellow classmates in that moment. But Jordan, you dodged. I did.

I'm looking for my crystal ball fact or event, right? Yeah. What does Jordan Cope want to know about his own future? He has to ask something. Sure. I'd like to know whether or not... Hmm. Well, the part that scares me is that i don't want to know anything that affects my life

up until that point you know uh let's just say that you get this answer and then reality snaps back to before you got the answer oh we snap back to reality oops there goes gravity oh there goes rabbit he chokes he's so mad but he won't give up that easy. Okay. Well, in that case, I would probably want to know whether or not I lived in America for the rest of my life. Oh. Yeah. I'm kind of curious about that.

Oh, my God. I mean, a big part of it is like, well, I would like to, but there were circumstances that could happen in the next, you know, 20, 30, 40 years. Yeah, totally. I suddenly decide, okay, maybe this isn't the space for me because right now I've been here two years and I feel like I want to be here for the rest of my life. Right, right. I would be so curious and I guess I can't ask, I can't ask follow-up questions, right? Well, I don't know the answers.

Well, like, I mean, like what is going to happen? Yeah. Okay. I guess I'll ask the crystal ball. Am I going to stay in America forever? Because that to me is indicative of the kind of life I choose to live. So yeah, I would ask that. How about you, my sweet baby boy Jarvis? You know, it's really interesting that you gave the answer you did because I realized that I have no questions about where I will be. Like, I assume that I will be in the United States for the majority of my life. There was a time when I thought I might go live abroad for some time, but I'm fairly certain I'll stick around in the States for the majority of my life. Yeah. And well, I mean, you're banned from most countries but a man can dream you know sure uh but i i sort of realized my you know your

position is that you immigrated here i did in a way like you caught me is that immigrating i i kind of feel a little bit ignorant no great is just when you come from another place legally yeah no emigrating is when you leave a country to come to another country this isn't like a special code yeah yeah no i just wanted to i just wanted to make sure that i was like emigrating is actually a dance though immigrants know it's a secret dance it's when you sing Eminem lyrics a lot yeah and it's really grating to your peers it's it's actually funny immigrating that's more than enough but it's funny that you bring that up because actually the last time I was in LA uh I was in a lift and uh the person up front was just asking me about my life my background and uh I just said to them oh yeah i'm an immigrant i just dropped that line because i

you know personally i'm trying to de-stigmatize the i word as right right you know like i'm trying to destigmatize the idea of this very practical term i being idea i being a but this uh lift driver specifically said to me uh so where are you from specifically and i said oh i oh, I'm from England and I'm from sort of the West Midlands. Nice spot, nice spot. And yeah, I'm an immigrant. I moved here two years ago. And the second I said the word immigrant, the dude starts to slow down his car and he turns, no joke, and says, but like legally, like you're here legally, right? Yeah, yeah. Because the word immigrant has become completely synonymous with illegal like it's like i knew the definition but for some

reason i felt like i needed to clarify this is like a this lyft driver too was like a 20 year old kid uh uh pretty like a relatively diverse background pretty cool kid yeah in a band super liberal beliefs this was not i didn't get fucking i didn't get a drive from rush limbaugh yeah like are you from here like no he rush limbaugh often drives lift he does that part-time to listen to his own show while he's recording his show yeah but i was genuinely shocked by that the idea that somebody would of our demo air quotes our demo yeah yeah would be as astigmatized to the term immigrant yeah well there's that uh there's that daily show hasan minaj uh it was a gun week in alabama oh yeah and and hasan minaj goes as a correspondent to buy a gun and the guy is like

well i mean like i don't know you could be in isis and it's like well first of all wrong part of the world yeah and second statistically anyone could be in isis yeah i don't know what their application process is like but presumably if you try hard enough. Also, this is the one guy who looks like an Indian boy band member. It's so bizarre. Probably not the image that Isis is going for. But yeah, that's been a very unique experience over here. That would be partially one of the reasons I'd want to ask about whether or not I would be here for the rest of my life, or at least a significant number of years from this special crystal ball.

Right. Is because, dude, I want to know what happens in the next five years. I want to know how buck wild the immigration situation gets in. Yeah, I mean, I just I honestly just want everything to be OK because I want to go back to imagining things optimistically. Like I used to dream for things that were just purely selfish. Yeah. And now because like the baseline of like my imagination has been thrown out, I now have to be like, well, I hope everyone is okay. Yeah.

Like I, cause now that's not like a thing that i could get like guaranteed anymore i think we will look back on 2016 as the year where we went oh sometimes we don't win yeah sometimes skeletor does win the episode of he-man yeah sometimes it ends with him laughing he-man limping back because he kicked his ass like it changed the way that i approach optimism yeah now i think about oh it would be really really nice if i were to get a green card and everything was kind of okay yeah as opposed to well in a couple of years everybody will get a green card it will be very very easy everybody will have health care everybody will have a jet pack and superpowers no things aren't perfect it'll all be the ceo of million dollar company. And we'll be the CEO of the same company.

Like, I don't envision the world, I don't envision us as on the path to the perfect world anymore, which I think is why the crystal ball question is so insightful. Right. Because, damn, I'm curious. Yeah.

Actually, honestly, if this is a show about getting weird, my big question to crystal ball would be, is there nuclear war? Yeah. Actually, honestly, if this is a show about getting weird, my big question to Crystal Ball would be, is there nuclear war? Yeah. Did we make it the next 20 years? Like, are we still around? It's like, I almost want to jokingly attribute it to Mark Twain, but I can't remember who it actually is.

But it's like, I don't know what weapons World War III will be fought with, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones. Yeah, it's kind of, that's fearful. Like, I fear that, you know? But I put it out of my mind. It's not like a thing that cripples me from doing anything. It's like I can't take another bite of these Cinnamon Toast Crunch because... This emotional Cinnamon Toast Crunch, yeah.

The emotional, the Cinnamon Toast Crunch of life because who knows what's next. See, I wonder about that because i feel the same way but at the same time i sort of wonder what it would take for me to not be comfortable does that make sense yeah i feel like i default to it's probably gonna be okay right yeah like donald trump tweets out, hey, everyone, I fucking hate Kim Jong Il. Here's a drawing I did of him. What an idiot. Here are the nuclear launch codes. I'm going to do it tomorrow. And I go like, oh, well, you know, something, I'll be fine.

It's cool. I enjoy my, you know, life. Everything will be okay. Every time. Nothing scares me as much as it should. Yeah. And I think that's like a privilege that we have and i want to make sure that it doesn't like breed a a sort of bystander effect oh it absolutely does

yeah yeah yeah and and i think that it's kind of like another quote i'm quoting everything without knowing who said the thing sure at that point i don't even think it's a quote that's just your thought i don't have to attribute them it's officially your thought uh that's not what they said when i got kicked out of secondary school that was i tried to localize that thank you for that that was helpful that's not what happened when i got kicked out of high school this is great now it's international. Yeah, now we're international. So the quote is, well, I don't know the quote, but the basis of it was, you know, when they came for this group, I didn't say anything. When they came for this group, I didn't say anything.

When they came for me, there was no one else left to speak for me. And I don't want to be that. So I'm trying to find the balance, but it's really hard to, it's a really hard line to toe. You know, it's not a position that I am comfortable being in because it's not a, suddenly I need to be an activist and I don't know what I'm doing and I don't know, and I'm not comfortable with it. And I'm really bad at dealing with things I'm not comfortable with. Yeah.

It's a tough, it's a tough situation to navigate. It feels a little bit like, have you watched Red Dawn? No. So Red Dawn is a movie all about, I mean, it's kind of a shitty movie with some pretty dubious politics at play, but the basic premise of the movie is that the U.S. gets invaded and a bunch of teens in the United States are all like, we've got to take up arms to defend our local town and blah, blah, blah.

And there's like a section or rather like a consistent theme throughout the movie of certain characters not really being equipped to take on this environment, but like having to push through their hesitations and be a true patriot and all that kind of stuff. And I feel like we're not that far from that yeah from in like an emotional perspective just sort of like well i wasn't really equipped to be emotionally ready to fight and like have all of these deep feelings i thought things were going my direction

we had a black president and i was feeling pretty great about that and now all of a sudden things are going pretty sharply downhill yeah we had a president who was literally the same racial background as both of us. Both of us. I was like, Oh, well, this is a hard thumbs.

Oh, Oh no. Oh no. Yeah. It's hard. Um, and I don't think that it being hard as I can excuse for inaction, but,

but it is definitely, it is certainly not something where I felt like on the, on the, you know, drop of a hat. I know exactly how I need to deal. Sure. You know what I mean? And that's something that I am learning to navigate as time goes on.

Jordan, now I feel very silly because I thought of my answer before we discussed this topic. Oh, you're prepped. And I feel a little bit silly. Well, we can make it sound like you're actually a lot smarter than you are by me asking you the question. Then you're immediately hitting me with a very advanced and very smart answer. No, I think it's mostly just that we were talking about this very deep subject. Oh, yeah. Now I'm going to be very not deep.

Oh, that's easy for me. Well, it was about this, like, you know, look into a crystal ball. It's a magic question. We talk about the world. And now I just I might mind was scoped a little bit differently. It's like, yeah, now I do want to know if it's OK. I do want to know if things like turn out fine. But well, I've got that covered.

So I'll tell you. Presumably we both get to look into the crystal ball. I'll just tell you about all the heavy stuff. And your your thing that you'll look for is like do i find happiness that's your question to the crystal ball yeah i'm mostly curious about like whether or not overall the whole thing works out well see i'm curious because what's the answer the crystal ball could give you that would satisfy you, right? Like, would yes give you, are you happy with that? Honestly, yeah. I think yes would, like, validate all of my decisions moving forward.

And, like, I'd be able to, it's a little bit of cheat code. Like, I don't know that I could know. Like, I basically should live my life assuming that I know the answer and it's yes. Because I'm, you know, I'm a person who's, like, very obsessed with, like, their own personal growth. And this is, like, the general, like, trying to understand how to be happy has been a journey of mine for a long time. And I, I mostly am curious, like, you know, if I'm,

if I'm focusing only on myself. And also I think the question was originally scoped to being about yourself and you, you, Mr. Selfless, whatever, and made it about the world. Yeah.

Unfortunately, yet again, I've been pretty selfless. I guess you could call me something of a hero. Yeah. And I guess, I mean, I wouldn't call myself a hero but you should okay well i'm something of a narcissist i guess and and and yeah so i think that in the event that you were telling me about the world stuff um i am super curious about whether or not i'm able to achieve the personal growth goals that I'm going for.

But as I'm saying that out loud, I realize I should just treat my life as if I know the answer and it's yes. Yeah, I feel like the hack to life overall, I say this like something that's fucking cracked the code. Yeah. Not at all. Yeah, yeah. Barely at all.

Still working at it out as I go. But I feel like a good first step, regardless of what your industry passion presence goal is right should be to say well I'm gonna treat it as though I already got it yeah I think that's I think that's a really good way to live I I think that in a lot of ways I should treat my life as if it's the best thing in the world. Like, cause I, cause I feel so privileged. I'm so, I'm so lucky. I'm so fortunate. And it really is great that I'm in that position.

So I should just embrace that. And so maybe I will. Maybe we, maybe we made some progress here tonight. Maybe Jarvis has found his place in the world. Maybe finally I've figured out my place in the world. And now if you ever see me get upset or anything, be like, you were supposed to have figured out my place. Did you not hear the podcast? Yeah, you recorded

that stuff. You cracked it, Jarvis. No more sadness ever for any reason. So I have one final question. Oh my god, I'm scared. Don't know. For those following along at home, of the 36 questions, I chose 4, 9, 13, and now we're asking 19.

The questions at the very end are very specific to couples. So I did not ask those for us. That can make for an interesting follow-up episode. Yeah, yeah. But this is on theme. This is on brand for the topics that we've been discussing. Great. And it might get the deepest so far.

Hit me. great and it might get the deepest so far hit me if you knew that in one year you would die suddenly okay would you change anything about the way you were now living i should explain i did not hear these questions beforehand i'm raw i'm open i'm fresh i'm unrehearsed baby i knew them and i'm you doing great. And I'm still fumbling over them. You're, you're talking, you're basically the Dalai Lama of answers. And I'm like the fucking like. What's up everybody. It's me, the Dalai Lama of answers.

Yeah. I'm just over here, Mr. Id. I'm the Dalai Lama and you're the Dalai Patan. Wow. Okay. This is a joke for us. You're the Dalai Lama and I'm just like Mr. Id. I'm just like looking out for my own self-interest.

And I feel horrible about myself. If I knew I was going to die in 365 days, what would I change about my life? That's correct. I mean, I feel like the first thing I would do is try and clear up all the loose ends. You know what I mean? Like I would find all of the things that either I was planning on resolving in 20, 30 years and I would just wrap them up. Arguments that I had or tensions I have with family members where I was planning on kind didn't like throughout my life and saying, look, I'm on my way out. Coming this summer to Lionsgate.

Yeah. I feel like probably a very common thing that people feel when they're lying in their deathbed is, damn, I should have resolved X. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I'll be honest, you first said i uh will accomplish all these things that i was saving for like later in life i was like oh so you're just going to be like rich and famous no no no i i am not nearly skilled smart or likable enough to be actually successful the one thing i can do is go around and apologize i could run around the country and apologize to all the people i screwed over. Very English response.

I'm so sorry, my lord. Hello there. Hey, you don't know me. We haven't seen each other since primary school, but my god, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for being the person I was. I feel like that's how we need to end the episode of Sad Boys. Me saying sorry. We just need to apologize.

Because honestly, we didn't go into this knowing what we were doing. Not at all. Free ball. And we're just trying to get somewhere that is fulfilling for us and also entertaining and fulfilling for other people. Yeah, I think when we came up with the idea for the podcast, we both knew that we're perfectionists and we're people that overanalyze every single step of every single process.

Yeah. And one important thing for us about doing this podcast was that we just have to do it. Right now, I am sitting on the floor of our hotel room that we're sharing at a event that's over in non-optimal weather

in Los Angeles, California, when we're both kind of tired, have eaten sugary meals and are feeling a bit wheezy. We've been up forever and you're sick. And we thought to ourselves, do we record it now? Do we record it later? When do we do this thing? And we just said, damn, we have to try. We have to just do it. We have to just get the ball rolling. Yeah. I think it's so important. I think that there's never going to be a perfect time. Yeah. And the exercise of doing it, the exercise of trying is always going to be valuable. It's like when you go to the gym for the first time ever,

and then you leave and you're like, I'm so sore. That was so hard. Why would anybody do that? And then you go back the second time and you're like, it's not that bad, I guess. Yeah, so I? And then you go back the second time, like, it's not that bad, I guess. Yeah, so I'm already excited to come back the second time, but I'm sorry for this first time. I'm so sorry for you, the listener, having to experience our big, stretchy muscles.

This is the episode zero. This is the secret episode zero, yes. Yeah, so I'm going to answer the question. Hit me, Jarvis. If I knew that in one year i would die suddenly would you change anything about the way you're now living why well this is kind of a stupid question i want to add a tiny little addendum to the uh context of the question you don't just die suddenly you get the minute of your death you you you can count down you can put up a big

widescreen tv that indicates the seconds you have left till you die okay so if you knew that in one year you would die suddenly down to the minute would you change anything about the way you are now living and why and so this is a silly question to me i think of course i would change how i'm living my entire life right now is built on the fact that i'm long-term investment yeah Yeah, it's built on long-term investment. I have savings accounts. I'm cashing that 401k. And I have a career that is based on the fact that I'm not going to die this year.

Like most careers. I think that that's like a beauty of human existence that we are all assuming that we keep going. Yeah, pretty safe assumption, hopefully. Yeah, you think like on average, it's a safe assumption. So we all have to behave that way. That is a thing that almost every person is assuming that I won't die this year. Yeah, you have to because otherwise your existence is, you know, whatever this question is implying.

If there's one takeaway we want from this podcast episode, it's that we want every single listener to go out into the street walk up to a stranger and say you don't think you're gonna die this year right oh i i thought it was just i want all the listeners to not die this year oh no i don't care about that okay well no no interest in the listeners oh wait no wait that's gonna reduce the ad money actually yeah stay alive i love all the listeners yeah this this podcast is sponsored by life this podcast is sponsored by endurance and life the board game and yeah we're trying to get some exposure for life yeah the game of life yeah yeah the game of life is very similar to the game of life the real thing this episode is sponsored by uh the latest seasons of uh game of thrones which is the perfect proof that you don't need to be good at writing to make a TV show. I don't know enough about Game of Thrones to unpack that opinion. But you do know enough about your own life to decide whether or not you would change anything.

I was going to say, but I know enough about your opinions to unpack some of that opinion. This podcast is sponsored by feelings. Yes. We all have them. Why aren't we talking about them as much? God damn it. I feel like so much conflict would be alleviated if people were just a little bit more upfront with their feelings. Yeah, most wars would be shut down if somebody just went, oh, come on.

What's this really about? Yeah. So to finally answer this question, if I knew that in one year I would die suddenly down to the minute, I would make sure that I took care of all the people in my life. I would basically I would liquidate both all the people in my life. I would basically, I would liquidate both literally and metaphorically my life. And the way that you die is literally, you will liquefy. The sudden death is that you turn into a puddle. I will literally liquidate. So I am going to metaphorically liquidate my assets as well as my relationships. I want everything to be out there.

I don't want there to be any sort of conflicts in the air. I want people to know where I was planning to go, how far I got. Maybe I write a manuscript. I don't think I could get through a whole book because the editing process. I wrote a whole cliff notes. Yeah, I read a cliff notes. And that's mostly for the people who it's it would be for the people who I might have been able to influence given the time. Yeah. Like like here are my last words and I wish it could be personalized to you.

But it is hopefully just useful advice. Yeah. Now we've got to get going. But before we do, I do want to ask you a quick follow up advice. Yeah. Now we've got to get going, but before we do, I do want to ask you a quick follow-up question. Yeah. Since you know you're going to die in 365 days, are you going to do yourself in before then?

Or are you going to wait for the moment? If I know the exact minute, nah, I'll just wait for it. I feel like I want to go out with a bang. Maybe just an hour before like just well just to assert your own dominance yeah like own life you know i'm gonna die from a heart attack on june 14th at exactly 8 p.m well i'm gonna jump out of a helicopter at 7 30 you know what i mean i'm just gonna take it it's all mine it's all jordan's so this podcast is

about death so i think that's about where we want to leave it for today. Yeah, this is sort of like a fun mini introductory session before we dive into the weird heavy stuff that we want to talk about with ourselves and with guests. Yeah, none of this was weird or heavy. None of this was weird and heavy. This was a fun light discussion about how we would kill ourselves and the eventuality that we know the exact date of our death.

All right. If you have opinions on any of the questions that we asked, what can you do with those things, Jarvis? Where can you put those words? If you have opinions about some of the questions we talked about today, we want to hear your answers. So feel free to tweet us at sadboyspod on Twitter. With a Z.

With a Z. Most definitely with a Z. Because we're cool yeah so that's uh sad boyz pod you know it remember the band pod i do and no one else does yeah i was like what was the one song that wow that was a callback yeah yeah yeah i was like what was the pod song holy shit the the the lead singer of pod just woke up in his bed because he got like a just a youth of a nation he's here he just broke himself no oh my god stop singing at me let go of my arm wow he's here they're still making music really you're kidding uh i don't know that's true they're still still making music. Really? You're kidding. I don't know. That's true.

They're still listening to music. They formed in 1992. Hey, that's pretty fun. That's a fact. I formed in 1992. Yeah, they're still around. You're kidding. Wow.

They probably twin with Smash Mouth or something. They kind of look the same as Smash Mouth. You just showed me a photo and all of P.O.D. Okay, everybody listening, I want to pull up a photo of the band P.O.D. and I want them to pull up a picture of the vocalist from Smash Mouth and tell me that every single one of them doesn't look like a failed clone

of the vocalist from Smash Mouth. I think they look identical. Exactly the same. And I challenge you to find evidence otherwise. I also challenge you to tell me what P.O.D. stands for. It's Piece of Smash Mouth. Which is short for D. Which is more of a D.

Not everybody knows that Smash Mouth starts with a D. Smash Mouth is well known as Silent D. Silent D, the band. A secret D. Secret D is a very good band name Jarvis We do have fun We do have fun

And this has been a very strange Rambly exploration Of the feelings we have About several things Jarvis if I was in the mood To get some more of that Going forward Where would I go

And what would I do Well you would go over to Twitter And you'd go to the Sad Boys Pod Twitter page And you'd tweet us some weird questions. Yeah. Right after you hit that big old follow button. Yeah. Hit the big old follow button, tweet us a question. Your question might be featured on the next and subsequent episodes of sad boys and make sure to include the hashtag Jordan. Gosh, what a handsome boy. I love love him so much it's going to take up a lot

of your characters but it's worth it i if you don't include that then you have a much higher chance of getting featured you will be immediately reported if you do that coming from the guy who's probably going to read the tweets he's going to be in charge of picking those up so i'm just saying uh know your audience. Make your choice and live with the consequences. This has been The Sad Boys. Thanks so much for listening to our

episode zero. Yeah, we're excited to take the show in a kind of weird and interesting direction to make the questions more and more uncomfortable and to bring guests in willing to share their lives and intricacies and insights. Hopefully you enjoy that whole process.

And also to try and figure out how to be more interesting. Yeah, I can't imagine being more interesting because I'm so compelling. But in your case, yes, we are hoping to make you likable. This is really just an exercise for me yeah it's an exercise in self-growth for myself because i'm perfect i found it yeah i've cracked it out figured it out perfect jordan now we've just got to figure out how to make jarvis perfect and then we can take over the world finally we take over the world well let me say before we

sign off i love you and i'm sorry this has been the sad boys