Sad Boyz - AI Is Ruining Graduations

Episode Date: May 22, 2026

One thing to pack, five ways to power! Get 10% Off @Ridge with code SADBOYZ at https://www.Ridge.com/SADBOYZ #Ridgepod 🥳 ⁠A VERY SAD BOYZ BIRTHDAY - LIVE ONLINE - MAY 28th⁠ Check out 150+ bonus episodes at: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://patreon.com/sadboyz⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ✨find us everywhere✨ https://linktr.ee/sadboyzpod 🎬 CREW 🎬 Hosted by Jarvis Johnson and Zay Dante Produced & Edited by Jacob Skoda Produced by Anastasia Vigo Thumbnail design by @yungmcskrt Outro music by @prod.typhoon & @ysoblank 00:00:00 JUNE 28: A VERY SAD BOYZ BIRTHDAY 00:04:21 Death Plans 00:16:34 Sponsored By: RIDGE 00:19:10 Commencement Speakers Are Obsessed With AI 01:10:32 Trump Phone 01:21:17 Birthday Gifts 01:34:50 Sad Boyz Nightz Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

May 28th, a very sad boys' birthday live streaming directly to you. Live.com. Bring a gift or something. It's online. You cannot, you don't do that. Welcome to Sad Boys, a podcast about feelings and other things also. I'm Jarvis. You copied the way I was sitting.

I, we're, it's just how we're sitting on a couch. Copying. Nothing to be copied. Mr. Xerox, copying. Mr. Xerox. I'm Jordan, what's up? Uh, you're back. You're, we lost you for a second.

I needed a little service as a man. I need a little bit of personal time. Yeah, you take a break from the show. Yeah, I'm going. Well, it's an elective break. I was under investigation for being too funny. By investigation by who? Whom?

I was really hoping you didn't have any follow questions. Yeah, he folds to no resistance. I'm lying, I'm lying, I'm lying. How do I make it? How do I make it so he doesn't figure that out? Okay, I can hear you. Think. You're so loud.

That's not, doesn't really answer the question at all. Oh, fuck. Welcome back. We got the birthday blues and by blues I mean an illness, I guess. A cold? I don't know. Did you have, it was just kind of like a cold. It didn't like a things didn't really line up, I feel like. Yeah, it was like a little desinked. And I just got ice climbers. I just got like, we went on soap on it. Yeah. But I got on. Who's Popo? Who's Nana? Who's getting the best thing? I don't really like, got filled with the girls with vaccines. So it definitely wasn't a, um, a coronavirus. but I was just very sore and shaky. Yeah, I mean, sleep and fluy, you know. Yeah, I totally get that. You like, I wasn't that. Maybe I had one.

I had mostly throaty. In fact, like, I hate the linger of like when you have like a little flim in your lungs, question mark. Is that where it lives? And it's kind of just sitting there. And then it takes like weeks to get it all out. So you're like perfectly healthy. And then you randomly have like a really nasty. stick off and people are like, whoa, were you okay?

And I'm like, this is actually like from weeks ago. It's like, it must in the Middle Ages, that's why they talked about like ill humors and stuff. Yeah. I don't know a dog. Ill humor is kind of like the, what I was getting investigated for. Oh, who by? Because, mm, no.

But that works. Why do it work when you do that? You're like, no further questions. He's a genius. No, it's like a Jedi mind trick. What's the skinny man? Well, the skinny is that we should exchange. change birthday gifts because two things. One, it was our birthday, our shared birthday that we share

and it's not a joke. We really do share a birthday. And then two, we have a upcoming live show, May 28th, 630 Pacific on the online. But so if I don't live in L.A. I can still see it? You have to go to a computer to see it because it's all live. Yeah. So we've been doing a lot of fun stuff. We're going to have music from Zay Dante, who was guest hosted last episode, whose album just released. So May 28th, 630 Pacific, tickets are available. There's ticket bundles that gave you a T-shirt. If you're in the U.S., we're not currently shipping those shirts internationally, worth noting.

It's this shirt. You can tap your belly. You can do that with most shirts, but talk about the design. It's a nice design, it's a comfortable shirt. It's a really nice design. You can tap your belly while you wear it. It's not really a feature, but sure. And it's got a skull with wings, and it's not the Avenge Sevenfold logo.

it's also not the other metal bands that have used of this. It's actually the hundreds of year old iconography of just putting wings on a skull. Did you know that this is a Memento Mori? Memento Mori, yes. Which is something that used to, this skull with wings, used to be put on like gravestones and stuff. Yeah, I'll put it on mine.

It's a show that costs money, so no pressure, but it'll be a fun time if you have discretionary entertainment spending. And there'll be like some interactive stuff you can do as well. True. Sorry, we're super stoked about the show. So I'm having to shill more than I ever did shill before in my life. Come to the show. Pay us money.

Go to show. What are you saying though? I was going to ask. By your belly, you can rub your belly. I can't do that with mine. What are you talking about? You're like a force. You sound insane, dude.

I don't know anything about it. Do you have a specific like, this is how I'd want to be buried oh this is what I'd not want mostly underground thinking yeah because it really is pretty weird maybe not with a toe sticking out or something

I don't know that I actually want I think I should probably be cremated I kind of want to do whatever we think is like the best for the environment because I know it's like kind of tough to do with caskets and stuff they take up a lot of space and like it's that's tough

you should do them vertical I've thought about this a lot Okay. To his? About how I should be buried? Yeah. Okay. I personally think it's like the most beautiful thing is how our world.

You know. The circle of life. The circle of life. Yeah. And so the thing that I would ideally want in a perfect world is to just be buried in the ground, no casket, nothing. Put me in a mushroom suit or something. Like they now have those. Hand sticking out like the Leffodot 2 logo.

Yeah. And then like plant a tree on me. Yeah, plant a tree on me. Or something like that where it's like... I can even be alive. Planted a damn tree on you. I would love if my remains fed back into nature. Yeah, that sounds good.

But that being said, that's not allowed most places. Right. Like if you were like buried raw. Yeah. I think there's some stuff and I don't know this fully, but there is some stuff with like methane production and where it's like kind of you have to like properly ventilate. Like, I think it's like a hard, harder problem to solve than one would imagine, but I don't know for sure. I've also heard that cremation actually takes up a lot of energy to like get a full human down into death.

They're calling it the AI of death. So I'm like, I'm, I'm not sure what is the most like possible, not a burden on your loved ones. Right. Isn't it crazy that it's not like an obvious answer? because we know that there's limited, there's limited space to like bury bodies. It's like you can't put me in a landfill or whatever. Like literally what do I have to do to do you have to shoot me out into space?

Well, that takes a lot of energy too. Can bury me where they threw all those ET cartridges from the NES? Right, that's what I'm saying. But to get down there, it takes a lot of energy to dig that hole. I'll dig it as I'm dying. Viking people. Great. And now I'm littering the sea.

Now I'm littering the sea if I'm a Viking. I don't know how to die. you. Actually, I guess I'll just live forever. You're like really shitty son is firing an arrow with fire in it onto your... My son would be well trained in the preparation of Valhalla.

He's not as... He cannot live up to your... Of course. Actually, I'm agreement, yeah. So I don't know if you guys have heard of water cremation, but that is sort of a more... Sounds like something Winif Paltrow made up. It's a Campbell.

Available now at Goop. That's what you become in a water. You go into the poop kitchen and turn out a meal. It is. There's a new celebrity smoothie and it's made of them. It is from real jarvis. It is a lot more energy efficient. Oh, okay.

Well, I'll do that. Honestly, like, I, even in death, I'm like, I just don't want to be an inconvenience. Yeah. But that's the thing is. It's so messed up how expensive death can be for your loved ones. Right. So I'm like, in a perfect world, I want to have all this paid for and set up so that anyone grieving me

doesn't have to make a decision. I was thinking about that recently because knowing my untimely death will come June 26, 2035, I should probably set my like will. That's too soon. You know, I have a good run. I mostly am like, I need to like write a will so that like I can get you guys in there because otherwise my shit's going to revert to like people in my family. Dude, I would love to have a...

Who I don't know. A bickery, dangerous, vindictive, Knives-out style battle between all of us. And, like, you leave us like an ornate mansion and we're fighting each other over who gets it, then your, like, beloved but secret son turns up and swipes it away from us. And I get shot by my son with an arrow.

He's a really, really bad shot, but he got lucky. Chris. The true fight will be over the card collection. Yeah. True. Who gets to burn it? I'll probably give, I'll probably have to hire a, like, a third party to, like, liquidate that.

Oh my God, Jarvis is like, bury me with it. We're like, wait, what? I want to play games. Put it on, like, the funeral pyre? Yeah. Like, bury me with, like, at the end of her return of the jet. Yeah. To you lying on all the cards.

If I did, if I was able to go ghost mode, would you want me to come and visit you? Or would it create too great a, like, psychological burden to know that, A, the afterlife exists and B, ghosts exist. Oh, like if I'm alive. If you are alive. No, you can visit. I would love it if you visit it. But it's like really explicitly, I'm like a semi-transparent Obi-1 Kenobi-style Jedi ghost.

That's even cooler. But it's like, now you have to re-evaluate every single. The only way I don't want a ghost to visit me is if it's the way that ghosts are always depicted in like ghost hunting videos where it's like they can only cause like small inconveniences. Yeah. I'm gonna say. Like, is that the whole thing when you become a ghost where it's like, I can just kind of fuck things up. I can move things around.

I can make loud noises. Or like in Poltergeist? That's annoying. Stop. Okay, maybe don't visit me then. That's my unfinished business. He's messing up the Dewey Decimal System of your DVDs. Yeah, yeah.

In Poultergeist, there's a scene that terrified me when I was a kid where a mom is in a kitchen. A kid is. I terrified you because you hate gender roles. Gender roles. And the kid is at the kitchen table and she turns around to grab something when she turns back, all of the chairs

are on top of the table. It's like, fuck you, Ghost. No, I have to rearrange these chairs. And that's like not that much work, but it's enough to be annoying. It's just like that's happening every minute of the day. So imagining that I'm a ghost and then like it's really just like

I don't have, I have like whatever the opposite of hand eye coordination is and that's why ghosts are always like clumsy and like messing things up. And so it's like me like writing like in blood on a wall like my bad. I didn't meet. I tried to help. I was trying to set the table. Where did you get the blood?

My ghost eye coordination is not good yet. You have to clean this blood off the wall. Oh shit. And find out where it came from. I should have just gone out to see. Can I borrow a pen? But if I did come back as both, you go so you have to look at me and go, a good, go, go.

Sometimes I think about, like, dying, just due to my impending death. And then, like, what if you just get, like, a new game plus? Like, sometimes I do feel like... Like reincarnation. But consciously? But, okay, not necessarily... There's probably a name for this theory,

but what I'm calling it is New Game Plus. Yes. Where you kind of play through the whole story, but you have, like, some internalized wisdom from your previous playthrough. You already have, like, when you find a new skill, it's actually just a leveled up version of a skill you already have. Right, because I think a lot about my opinions on schooling and learning. And if I were, I would never want to kind of go currently back to like college or something.

But if I was going through like high school, middle school, all that stuff again, I would have so much more of a thirst to like learn and to really like apply myself that I didn't necessarily have. when I was younger and maybe that is what maybe that's what teaches me the lessons. It's like, okay, now you can go back and write all your wrongs. Like, there's probably a term for that sort of like belief system. I don't really have that belief system. I don't know if I have any belief system. I kind of just think, oh, that would be kind of cool. Yeah, it'd be neat.

Yeah. This is the Billy Madison effect. Yeah. Yeah, I guess I've misremembered that movie. It's actually about a guy who dies and then comes back but does a silly voice. Well, he doesn't die. He just has to go through school again. Oh, he dies.

It's implied. He dies at the end. He says, thanks for school. And then he walks down a whole way in the mist. Oh, you're right. And then little Nicky starts. The thing is about, like, the idea of resubstantiating with some kind of relationship with, like, a previous existence or something like that,

is that, like, then you have to interface with a hit a little bit, like, oh, spoiler this sort of Expedition 33. It's like, only because of a new game blasts. I'm laughing because of, like, the conversation we're having, and then you just start with a guy. So, hold on. Spoiler alert. There's a character who has like two lives that they have to process.

And I got to watch a friend finish the game the other night. So I got to kind of re-experience the whole that's interesting. And like there's not a... Which one's the good ending? Who wins? I'm checking Reddit. Yeah, hang on. Dude.

I need someone who really didn't understand this but has a lot of time on their hands to write an essay. I would like as many wrong paragraphs as possible is there. I have to say, dude, at some point without being mean to... Maybe on the Patreon or just like at our personal time, I'll show you some of the like takes on Reddit. I think we've talked about this before. The popular ones are wrong. They're so, and not like, oh, I misunderstood the tone or something. But like, just like literally not understanding it.

Like getting to the, like watching all of the Matrix being like, I think he wasn't in a computer. I think the Matrix was real life. There's a, um, I saw this recently in like a, uh, it was like a. It was like a RuneScape subreddit thing where it was a real-life version of that budgeting meme where it's like you spend like a million dollars on something inconsequential and it's like please help me. My family is starving. And it was, yeah, it was just some guy who's like, I really hate doing this boss because I always use like 200 prayer potions. How do you guys do it? And people are like, what are you doing?

They're like, I use five. Stop using them. Stop doing that. Stop fighting. You should like, like, it's like finding out you're playing the game wrong, but you make it the game's fault. Yes, definitely. Like, I don't like how you need to, they make it like require that you need to hire, let me solo her to come kill Melania for you. Sorry, which one's Trump's wife and which one's the Eldon Ring boss?

So Melania Trump is the Elton Ring boss. is the Eldon Ring Boss that spreads rot across that explains it but she has a really annoying long combo attack in a second form with all those flowers and a great movie

soundtrack incredible I actually genuinely I think the one thing that I would benefit from if I did like resubstantiate as George running it back would probably be the exactly way you're describing which is like the willingness

to acknowledge that I might be wrong and not just in like an argument, that's its own thing, because that's more about like confrontation and adrenaline, but more specifically, like, I'm not very good at this thing or I'm not enjoying this thing that other people enjoy. I'm not relishing it the way that they are. My first instinct is going to be to figure out if I'm doing something that's making it that way, as opposed to, I think, how I lived a good portion of my adult life and definitely my entire pre-adult life, especially is like, I guess teenagers when this really starts happening,

but where it's like, the world is so intimidating and there's so many spinning plates that you want to exclude them as much as possible. Like if something's overwhelming, you're like, I think it's just not good. The only answer he has to be that, like, actually that movie's just not good. I didn't just not enjoy it.

I didn't just not connect with it. These people don't dislike me. They're just bad people. I'm good. Yeah, my English teacher's a bad person for giving me this paper to write where I have to read the thing. This episode,

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Sad Boys podcast is where I heard about the Ridge Power Bank with 10,000 Mliamp hours, 5 and 1 charging everything. together. That's the show. That's the show. Thanks to Ridge, by the way. I'm feeling good. Have you seen, okay, so there's this perspective now amongst, like, young people in school who are kind of like, how did they ever write 10 pages, 10 page paper without AI? And then people from our generation are like, we wrote 10 page papers without reading the book. Plagiarism. Like, for me, it wasn't even plagiarism. It was just genuine bullshit. shit.

Like, not even knowing what the fuck I was talking about. I think it was rock and plagiarism a little older and obviously I never did, but I did it. And in my, I think I was just like, I was, I was the, uh, trope, the cliche of like, oh, I fleshed down the toilet. Oh, no, my paper fell down toilet. Oh, I know my dog learned to delete my heart. Why did I teach them that? Why?

It was unfortunately the only tricky learn. And the reason- My dog didn't let me write it. And the reason I'm bringing that up is because, Because there's been a proliferation, a cavalcade, a trunch, even, of people speaking at graduations, talking about AI. And then the students are rightfully critical of being told to like embrace AI. And I'm surprised that it keeps happening. Not that the students are reacting that way, that people keep telling them to just love AI.

Yeah, why is this in graduation beaches? Let's watch one of these. This is Gloria Caulfield speaking at UCF. Holden Caulfield's mom. She looks great. A little literary reference for a book I didn't read. Fuck, you love books. I read that book and I loved it.

I listened to a song called Who Wrotein Caulfield by Green Day. There were many books I did not read and wrote papers. That is like hundreds of books I haven't read. And she's giving a commencement speech at the University of Central Florida. UCF. Yeah. Golden Knights. That team is the Golden Knights?

That team is the Golden Knights? So I wanted to look up this woman real quick to see. Can I see that logo please? I just want to see what she does. Like why is she giving this speech? Oh, that's so. Look at the mascot. The mascot's pretty sick.

Can we? I didn't apply to UCF, but they did have a good competition programming team and so they were like pretty good for um, schools in Florida for computer science. They have that night. Defending the school. I just want to see what this woman does professionally. Right, right, right. She's a vice president of strategic alliances for Tavis Stock development company.

What is that? She oversees the health and medical partnerships as well as business development for Tavis Stock's visionary Lake Nona community. Tavis Stock sounds like Travis Scott. New Game Plus. She's in real estate. So essentially she's a developer for developers, developers, developers. For like townhomes in this one area

called Lake Nona. Is that in Florida? Yes. It's like UCF isn't near me, so I like don't know that much about that part of Florida. Nona is grandma in Italian. Where is UCF? It's in Orlando.

Oh, it's an Orlando. Being out of state, right? Actually, that's surprising. I didn't know it was in Orlando. That's pretty funny. Is Orlando like, oh, sorry, Florida's like ridiculously big proportional? Very big, yeah.

It's also just very, it's got a lot of biomes. Well, it's like really long. So, so nothing like connects to each other. Like Miami is a different state in my mind. Hang on a minute. She's not graduating. Why does she get the hat? You always get the hat.

It's a whole thing. And I don't fully understand where it all comes from. But it feels like it comes from secret societies that have not even joking. It's very masony. Yeah. Honestly, I bet it's. comes from your freaking stupid ass puddious. Probably your bullshit ass.

Wizard. Look, she looks like she's fucking doing wizardry. Colleges used to be... Hogwarts ass costume. Colleges used to be for clergy then. The grand pageantry and traditional dress of graduation ceremonies

come from two distinct European traditions, medieval church apparel, and British royal ceremonies. Wow. Yeah. We're a gowny nation. It's a lot of gowns. I'll admit that.

It is a thing that's so ridiculous to me. that you like have to buy your cap and gown. Yeah. And that shit's expensive. And also there's like a sliding scale of nice ones that you can get. So it's like, do you want to look fucking chopped at your graduation? It's been a codboard.

No, kind of. And then it's like, okay, I'm like a graduating student. I don't, I'm not like, I don't have a lot of money like that. And so obviously I'm going to cheap out on my cap and gown. But then sometimes people get their caps and gowns like passed down from their family. but then there's like sometimes rules about the specific colors and like because you can't you have to like blend in with everybody so even if it's like an off by a specific tone depending on what the rules are you might not be able to use a special one it's a whole thing but then also britain does lawyers wearing these well they like do law as solicitors that is fun that they have to wear a robe and like a wig or something yeah like what the hell is a barrister and do we have them in american law we don't we're missing out on that one unfortunately. Yeah.

Gloria Estefan. The rise of artificial intelligence is the next industrial revolution. Oh. Oh. Wait a second. Like, why did she... What happened? What happened?

Wait, pause. Wait, what happened? Oh, no. What happened is you're out of touch? Finding out of touch? Finding out of touch, like that is crazy. In real time. Oh, man.

Wearing a smart person hat as well. A hat that means you're smart. Oh, no. Oh, yeah. Do you know about the tassels? Do you know what you do? You do you move it for a car? Yeah, you move it.

When do you change it? When they say you can now kiss the bride. Because it's in the way. They say like you're like, I now pronounce you like graduated. And then like you do it. And then everybody throws up their caps or whatever. Was there more to that? Or they just boo her ass off the stage?

Did it feel the same way for you where like I, I've never said anything like that and gotten their response. But sometimes you have a joke that you really think is going to crush. You're like holding court and it just doesn't land at all. Oh my God. And you have to pretend that it was never even played for humor. And like, oh. It was a joke. It was a joke.

It was a laugh. I was going to. I did the re-eyed comedy festival as a joke. I was gonna say, not after us. Cite. What is it opposite day? Because you guys aren't laughing.

Fuck, he's right. Yeah, show me a little more. Can I actually, can I just see it again? No, I want to see more for sure. This is two minutes. I want to just see the moment again. Oh, God. You, you, you have something wrong with you.

The next industrial revolution. Struck a chord. She's not, okay, I understand what she's trying to say. You have to know that despite the fact that there's like some nuance to be had in AI discourse, the last thing, a graduating class facing a horrific job market and like a bad economy is, wants to hear is that they have to kind of get with the times or be left behind. the money you just spent for the degree you are just now getting could be redundant also you start this is a generation that like started their degrees and like has probably seen the starting salary

shrink yeah from like what their perspective like degrees since they start since they started their study and burned all of this cash in those four issue i don't know yeah yeah yeah in those four years they have seen the re-election of a president that in their environment would be overwhelmingly unpopular. They've seen a sharp decline in the amenities that they have and the affordability is sharp incline in the prices of everything, everything in their life, the beginning of a war. Yeah. And the beginning of like a rampant, rampant, annoying, constantly being told that this thing is important. Just a complete, like, absence of optimism for any reason.

Being told the thing's important, but also being told that, like, they're abusive. it because a lot of kids are using it to write their papers. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Which I could be on, I know, maybe not like the most reasonable take or whatever. I personally am kind of of the position of like, the school's got to adapt, unfortunately. Not in like right. And I think a lot of schools have. They have.

It's just like, we just hand in stuff in writing. That now is, or even, even then, because that's just like a slow and tedious process of like copy. It's still going to be faster than writing the way. Well, no, but like they're having to do a lot more like, like kind of live, like, live. like, um, live, like, talking about the thing that you wrote. So, like, imagine if you had to, like, sit. And it's more work on the teachers, which sucks, to be honest. But, like, imagine if you had to give a private report about the thing that you wrote,

but then you aren't intimately aware of the thing that you wrote because AI wrote it. Like, even if you read it, I don't think you could, like, intimately talk about the thought process. So it's like, it kind of reveals stuff. It would require a lot of bullshit swag that I don't think is that common. What's really funny is I'm seeing people be flabbergasted. that teachers are embedding, like, hidden AI agent instructions into their homework. And they're, like, mad about it.

And I'm like, you don't get both, bro. You don't, you honestly, like, I can't sympathize with this one. You're battling. You got outplayed on that way. Because here's the thing, you could copy this and delete all those things. Just do that. Like, that's not even that much work.

I have a couple friends who are college professors and they're doing way more, like, presentation, like oral presentations or having to. Kind of old school. Yeah, it is kind of old school. And I think it's great, actually. It's, in my opinion, should. The budget and lack of amenities for teachers and lack of availability for them to do it

is, like, the biggest bottleneck for that. Yeah. But it is, like, a very effective way of doing it. Because otherwise, right now, at least in my educational experience, like every single course is a course in essay writing, which is not of interest to me. Well, and that's not how the world really works. Yeah, it's not.

It's a cool, it's an interesting skill that works great when you're in college or academia. Yeah. But like, I'd kind of much rather have just learned the topic of the thing, but not. God, if I could just generate it with AI, you know, truth is, I don't think I would because I would be maybe a little too anxious about it, but I was doing like I wasn't reading a lot of the books I get assigned on like film theory and stuff

but I was looking up like Cliff Notes and I was going on Google books and all the free pages I was doing that a lot yeah the diligence of like in my opinion it's a little bit I don't know if elitist is the right word but it's like a little

unreasonable especially in the US where you have to buy your own books which is often the case in the UK but like at least in my course I was never obliged to have a book like I should have gotten one and read it over the summer, but like bringing in the book and being like, look, I prove that I have it.

Yeah. Not so much of a thing. But I do think it's a little wonky to be like, hey, can you read these hundreds of pages for what will ultimately not really be something you prove actively in your college course it's already costing you cash and a new lifestyle. Yeah. I think it's one of those things where it's like, it's tricky because it's like your own do it.

If you like choose to not get an education at the place that you're paying to get an education, that's like your prerogative. The other thing is, if it's a professor and like not a lecturer, like at like a research university, a lot of times he don't even give a shit about the teaching aspect. Yeah, yeah. And like so. It's not that field. Yeah, it's like, it's, it's a tricky, it's a tricky thing.

I think it's good that the educators care about being able to impart education upon their because they could just not. And then everything could just be rubber stamped. Yeah, you know what I mean. It's easier for them as well. Not to mention grading with it. Like, obviously there's like a frictionless solution to it. I just, I know that we're in a bubble or whatever.

But like, sometimes when people say stuff like this, I'm just like, do you live in space? Oh my God, didn't you hear that people? All right, let's, I'm curious where she even goes. Okay, she struck a, she struck a chord and a nerve. She's struck a cord nerve. Just finished. Only a few years ago, AI was not a factor in our lives. That's not true, but I know she's trying to.

What is going on? That's very funny. People only react to tens and zeros at this college. Okay, we've got a bipolar topic here, I see. Okay, and now AI capabilities are in the palm of our minds. Sorry. It's like, what are you Steve Jobs? Like, well, why are you doing this?

Got him back? Throw him down. Lost him again. Okay. Yeah, see, I see. So what she's trying to say is, like, in my graduation era, we were faced with the launch of the internet. And, and there, there are, like, parallels to be drawn here in terms of a vast, like,

revolution in, like, a lot of industry and also a speculative bubble. And also kind of just, like, people being told that this is the future I get with the program or whatever. God, that top comment, man. That's, everyone has such high adrenaline all the time. It's freaking me out. She's a terrible communicator when she's off script. I mean, she's, to be fair, a lot of these people are not brought in to be communicators.

Now I feel like I'm defending her, but not that. Well, she's just a normal lady. She's just like a normal lady with like some, with some corporate success. Yes. She's at a touch in a little bit, but it's, there's just something about like, sometimes I feel like I'm being a little unfair with my skepticism or cynicism about stuff like this. And then the top comment is always just like pointing out the same stuff we did, but conclusion she should be executed so uh someone okay this is an interesting comment that

i am so far agreeing with she's a VP of a company people at that level have drunk the AI coolie they've been told over and over again that AI is going to allow them to cut costs getting rid of employees allowing them to have record profits they cannot comprehend why the average non-executive person doesn't share their joy and putting millions of people out of work uh you know more or less I agree with like the top line of this which is that like people at the executive level very much drank the AI Kool-Aid and- And have limited experience of like anyone not at the executive level since they joined it. This is like a criticism I have of pretty much every YouTube included like every tech company right now is like, how are we going to leverage AI?

Because it's like a huge like market opportunity for them. But then the at no point are you considering the like any of the other costs. but not considering any of the worldly impacts nor the consumer sentiment on something like this. What was the line where she got them back again briefly? Oh, well, she got them back because I almost don't even feel like she got them back. It was because she said AI didn't exist and everybody was like, let's go. That's so funny.

He said even two years ago these tools didn't exist and they were like, yeah, let's go back to that. She's doing the key and peel. You should take your chef's hat and get out of here. Yeah. Because you deserve to be working at the best restaurant in the world. So there was another instance recently where this guy, Scott Borchetta, was speaking at Middle Tennessee State University. Delicious name. He's the CEO of a company called Big Machine.

Wait. What was the name of the name? The record label, the Taylor Swift signed to. He's the CEO of Big Machine Records. Boom. I did it. I saw through the Matrix. And he had his own little moment with the Tennessee graduates.

I wonder if he has an accent. This industry will change on you in a heartbeat. I was not expecting that voice. How incredibly disappointing. He's a little bit of an accent. American. They changed more in the last 10 years than in the 50 years prior. streaming rewrote the economics i'm realizing now this is just a landmine for commencement speeches

because of how commencement speeches have to be written because every commencement speech is always like this it's like you're entering the workplace and then now opportunity is bigger than it ever has because you're hyping them up for like i would say though that those are the bad commencement speeches but i i just mean they're more like the out of the box Like the template the template. Yeah. Because it's like you're you're because of the fact that college now is so focused on the workforce right where you they used to be these like idealistic like places of intellectualism.

And now it's just like we're preparing you for the workforce. And so yeah, you're right. Like it's like here's the workforce you're going into. Right. Here's what the. But it's hard to be. trying to be hopeful and optimistic, but this is a time where most older people operated in a time of more opportunity and more optimism than these graduates are entering. So it's a little bit like

I roll my eyes and I'm like, what do you know about what it's like today? Yeah, yeah, because you're already at the mountaintop and I actually won't be able to get, it's going to be very difficult for me to It's grandparents talking about getting a starter home. And, like, you know, I've been married for 70 years. Like, yeah, you married your first middle school sweetheart. You don't, and you live a life. You don't know what either. Also, this guy's not doing himself any favors with those glasses at the end of his nose.

You know what I mean? Oh, my God. I don't know if. The aesthetic of that is. He does. And look, it looks like he dyes his hair. It's like too black. Yeah.

And you know what? I'm sick of things being too black. That's what I'm saying. Let, get Professor Snape off. My screen. White entertainment television. Wet. That's like most television.

AI is rewriting production as we sit here. I know it. Deal with it. Like I said, it's a tool. Hey, like I said, you can hear me now or you can pay me later. Oh, I don't like that. Oh, why? It's funny to be comedian gets heckled, like, at a college commencement speech.

Oh, yeah, one of those, like, pre-canned, like, homophobic jokes they'll make to zing back against someone they obviously paid to heckled him. It's tough because also when you're young, like, the odds that you, like, obviously it's impolite to boo, but I'm not surprised that a bunch of college kids are booing. And then his response being that of a super villain is not like awesome. The pay now or pay me later. I don't know, man. Is that what C. I think that's an old person phrase because it essentially means if you don't heed my warning now. I was like, are you a doomsayer?

Kind of a little bit. He's a duke maker. But I do. Is he a music, but I don't understand what his like actual, he owns the music label? Yeah. Okay. And he is saying. He's the CEO.

The fact that he's in music and he's saying like AI is this great cool. And he's giving this commencement speech to a room full of people who I presume are studying music. Well, because Tennessee also is a big music place. Yeah. I guess is this university of Tennessee or is this? This is Middle Tennessee State. Oh, interesting. I mean, I guess they got a CEO of a music label.

So maybe they think they're some utility. But he might be like alumnus or something. He has some connection to it. Hey, then do something about it. Okay. It's a tool. Okay. Make it work for you.

I hate when they say it's a tool because it's so like, okay. Reduction. Reductive. Yeah. And you could say that about everything. Yeah. I wasn't booing because it wasn't a tool.

Yeah. That was, it's not a tool. Whoever said it's not a tool is wrong. Which is a very executive mindset where it's like, why are you booing me? It's usable. It's, yeah, I'll sacrifice you. I don't care. but it should.

Well, it's like, also you should never, again, it's like, okay, impoliteness aside, it's like acting as if you should never criticize things that are tools. Yes. And look. There are lots of bad tools. It has a use. It's like me talking about the atomic bomb. It's their birthday party.

You know what I mean? It's like you can. Yeah, you got a... That's actually a really good point. They can boo you. You were the comedian hired for their party. It's their day. Yeah, it's their.

And so him getting so defensive is like so icky to me because... Well, because it's like you've already failed because you misread the room and now you're getting defensive about your misreading and it's not going to help the audience, your audience. You're now pitting yourself against them. Yeah, literally. Stop pulling me. I'm right. What about when we got that Austin Powers impersonator for that birthday party? Imagine when there was slightly cringe at like some of the slightly inappropriate jokes.

He just went like, what? You hired me. It's from the movie. This is what you get. It's a tool. I am horny, baby. And when I said sit on my Facebook, it was a sex joke. All right.

Have you guys watched that show Hacks on HBO? A little bit, yeah. So the last season is currently airing, and it's really great. I love that show, and I'm loving this last season. But. You can marry it. Well, I would if I could, actually. But it's already married.

It's a show. There is an episode that clearly was written by writers who are upset that Hollywood wants to force AI into their industry. Essentially, there's a storyline where is at the end the older comedian, she's like, I don't care. Like, if you're going to pay me money, you know, you can train your AI on my material. and then he starts saying, like, you could use it to write your own comedy. And she was like, well, I like writing. I like making comedy. That's why.

And he's like, well, in the future, this is what's going to happen. And so then they get into an argument where she's like, you don't understand why creative people are creative. They want to write. They want to make stuff. And you are essentially trying to help the not. non-creatives and the people with no talent pretend like they have it. Most of the people saying this stuff don't understand the capabilities of it and they just

assume it to be this like all-knowing like thing where it's like not very good at creating novel things because it's trained on things that already exists. So it's good at doing like paint by numbers like very like template template things like a glorified like when you type in your in your text app and you just hit the center button over and over and over again. Yes. It's like a glorified version of that. Going through that, boomer going through that and going like, oh my phone's alive. It's saying all this stuff.

It's speaking for me. How? Where does he go from here? Can he bring it back? Definitely. If he does, oh my God. Can you invest in a big machine? I almost thought he had something with then do something about it where it's like.

Well, but it's the tone in which he said that, it kind of doesn't have the Right. He didn't follow it up with you guys hated someone. Doing something about it includes booing. Yeah. Like that's being agitative, is actively criticized. Like, well, then fine. How about you criticize people when they talk about it then?

It's like telling people who are protesting, well, why don't you just join the government? Why don't you run for office? It's like, okay, no, but like the people voicing their opinion means something. Something about it, okay? It's a tool. Make it work for you. The things you learned in your first. year here may already be obsolete.

Here's a warning, invest in the skill and art of creation and not the platform or the system. Platforms and systems come and go. What is still the most valuable commodity is great content, great storytelling. AI is not going to change that. No matter the platform, content is king. Give it great ideas. As you step into your next season, know that the people who throw are the people who invested in

and trusted their own judgment and vision. Okay. Right. Okay. I think... It felt contradictory to the first half, though. I think it's what... I don't think he's like making the tie

that other people do between the utility of the tool and it invalidating the art and the creativity. I think what he's saying is essentially like, why would you be skeptical about using a computer to make music? It's just, just about making the music as though like it is a replacement for a method that endorses the creativity. It is the like, like generating an illustration, for example, is removing the thing that would be valuable.

There's a really great, like I think about it all the time for some reason, like, but there's a clip from a really old red letter media video. It's like that Phantom Menace review. And then they say it's in the Mr. Plinkett series. And then Mr. Plinkett, the character always uses this in every video for the last, once 20 years. He goes, you might not notice it, but your brain did. And that's like art and engagement where like, you might not have the like, you might not be acknowledging the form of why this cinematography is bad. But your heart knows. Because otherwise, why the fuck would anyone do anything?

Right. Why wouldn't every movie be a Wikipedia summary? You know on some level when something is good or disengaging or valuable. And it's like, no, this is, we can indefinitely just put out. And the term slop is, you know, some many things now, but noise, I guess, more accurately, and be like, he's, he's comparing AI in the abstract to using Logic Pro. Yeah. And that's the thing. It's like, I think that one, people talk about AI who just don't fully grasp, like, what's happening. and also you tend to ignore the way in which these models are trained, which tends to be on illegally, like, ill-gotten materials.

The foundations are already a little rotten. Yeah, so it's like, it is a little bit like, sure, the pirates have installed their own government, but they're here and they have guns. So we should like kind of... So we should work with them. We should work with them. It's the British government being like, I'm going to keep... the diamond.

I'm really sorry to do all that analogy, but I'm, but my point is that they tend to just not fully understand the whole, they only understand like a part of the thing, which is like, oh, AI helps make stuff.

They also, I mean, to be fair, there's not really a previous analog for like the way that AI, like operates. I think maybe they. And I mean Gen. In the same way.

Well, that's exactly what I was going to say. The gen AI is now the presumed thing that they're referencing. I don't think they know that. they're saying it in reference to like Logic very recently Logic Pro 12 recently added a feature where you can pull in like

a pre-existing loop or a bounced track and it will pretty accurately most of the time tell you what the chords are in it and that's just like a good reference point because you can do that but it just saves you like 15 minutes it's like a quick thing and look those things yeah exactly

but he might on some naive level think those, that's the words he's saying. It's almost like a mistranslation where he's going like, and then like, you know, the computer's good for this, not knowing that using the term AI means to be, everyone he's talking to right, Gen AI. That is what it means to them. And he's being kind of a pedant, you know, being like messing with him. Well, it's also, it's just like languages the way that it's used.

And so that is shifting even the term AI. Like, it's annoying that we've had AI. in tons of forums for decades at this point. And it's even something that, like, I studied in school. But now Gen. AI has kind of usurped the colloquial meaning of AI. And so now we need different terms to discuss some of these things. Like, um, and the leg-traking computer vision is like a corner of AI.

And computer vision is the same thing that is, you know, how you do like head tracking in your, whatever. I don't know what I'm saying. Like accessibility tools. Accessibility tools. Yeah. It's like it's not all, not all AI is the same.

It's like, or else you'd like be playing a video game and you'd be upset that the enemies like act on their own. Why do you know what you're doing? Yeah. What are these gods keep following? But I do think there's like, it is kind of a old person yells at cloud,

but in like inverse words like what the fuck? Why are the clouds yelling at me? I'm right. I'm curious what Eric Schmidt has to say here because he was previously a CEO of Google. He's a billionaire. He is he doesn't have he's not considered to have been a good CEO of Google, but I think he was CEO during The YouTube acquisition Which college is this? I think it was like the early 2000s

While in to like 2010 when he was the CEO of Google Arizona says it right there I'm stupid Last December Time magazine selected its person of the year for 2025 and it was this time it was the architects of artificial intelligence Interesting. So today we stand on this edge of another technological transformation. So far, he hasn't gotten to his point yet. So the booing is like, it's like I'm literally just saying a fact right now. And they're just booing the fact.

Not to not to defend him, but like he's like going somewhere with this. I don't know where. Let's see. Kudos to him for then not going like, stop it. Yeah, I mean. Obviously, he's had the best response so far. And also I know that he's done a lot of... I've seen multiple commencement speeches from him before.

One that will be larger, faster, and more consequential than what came before. These are... It will touch every profession, every classroom, every hospital, every laboratory. So far as it isn't said... And that's good. Every person and every relationship you have. Unfortunately true. I know what many of you are feeling about that.

I can hear you. Okay. There is a fear. there is a fear in your generation, yet that the future has already been written, that the machines are coming, that the jobs are evaporating, that the climate is breaking.

So far he's the only one who's even in the stratosphere of what the tone is. Or even acknowledging that that fear is real. And I still don't know, he's still like going up the road. roller coaster. He's been, you know what I mean? Might be the biggest butt of all time. It might be the biggest butt of all time.

Like, I truly, I'm like, okay, where are you going with this Schmiddy? This is him spinning his arm like Donkey Kong to charge up to the punch. I just like, fuh, fuh. Yeah. But. It's awesome. And that you are inheriting a mess that you did not create. And I understand that fear.

It's rational. Okay. And it's amplified. every day by social media platforms with algorithm that have learned with great precision that fear earns clicks. Okay, so far he is, I mean, because he obviously should know this stuff. Yeah. So far all of this feels validating almost. Yeah, and people are like, boo-

The sound for the last, the last, like, 45 seconds has just been like, ha- Oh, okay, it's, it is a little bit like, you don't understand. Well, you kind of maybe do, at least to an extent. You launched your alt after the team wipe happened, and now you're just firing the laser around. Oh, my God, the worst. They move out of the way right after you tell me how a hawk. Look at how precious he looks.

Oh. He's like, we're going to Disney. I love you. Insiety drives engagement. But I want to say something to you this evening as clearly as I can. To speak of the future as though it has already been decided is to surrender the one thing that actually matters. You are surrendering your agency. The future does not simply arrive.

It gets built in laboratories, in dormitories, in startups, in classrooms, in legislators. And the people building it will be you and people like you. Okay, that was fine. I'm into that. That was fine. I mean, like, it's like, what can you do in a commencement speech? That is kind of what... We got Conan.

Oh, no. Yeah, let's see. Let's see. Sounded more like a threat than a speech. Well, I mean... I thought, I felt like it was kind of validating. It was real. When I see these things, it's like you pre-cooked this.

Yeah, this is... Like, you didn't... This isn't responding. He clearly generated a speech in Jedi. Well, no. Yes, he's a billionaire. Yes, he's out of touch. But, um...

I feel like this was way better than the previous ones. It was. Yeah, I mean, it's like, look, I don't know what... Like, look, you won't see me accepting a commencement speech anytime soon. But I don't... Like, if you are going to address AI, which I feel like, if you don't in this climate, then you're missing... It's pretty nice in January. It's...

Yeah. Because I'm like, what are you supposed to say? The one cavity there is definitely the like, and this is just like a level of nuance that I don't know how you'd even get into without becoming again kind of pessimistic. But like there is a little bit of a gap between like maintaining your agency socially and emotionally and actually having the agency to do anything about it. Like saying like, it's with the solicitors. It's with the startups. It's like, okay, but like we're not getting those jobs. So like, let's, let's think a little more about, like, it's a little like, it's got a tiny bit of pull up your pants.

Yeah. Oh, no, absolutely. I mean, it is interesting to feel like they weren't actually, like, responding to, like, what was said. And I said before this is that Eric Schmidt is not considered to be, like, a good CEO of Google. It also just feels good as fuck to boo someone. Yeah. It just feels good as fuck to be in a crowd, like, aligned, doing a whole thing. And, like, I kind of, I feel like, once the boo started, everybody's kind of yes-ending each.

other. It's like, well, I'm not going to fucking cheer. There's no one else is going to cheer. I'm not do shifting from this. I think there's probably a good amount of the audience of sad boys who are probably graduating right now. It's graduation season. Dads and grads, as Scott Arkerman

used to say. Why dads? Because of June, his father's day. Oh. Papa day. Sorry, can you tell I've never known my father? I didn't go to grad.

I can I give like a mini commencement speech tried carefully I will be if I disagree with anything that said my advice are it's not even advice but my thoughts about anyone graduating right now it can feel very upsetting and scary and I think this is true of anyone graduating at any time but just it's especially scary right now because our economy is really bad and jobs are probably hard to find and I guess what I would say to that is when you feel like you have no options, that is actually the best time to just gravitate towards anything that interests you. So if you're like, well, I went to school for English. This is actually my experience. I went to school. I got an English degree. Hey.

Nerd. And now I've graduated and I don't even know what job I could do other than teaching. What should I do? It's like now's the time to kind of be bold. Do whatever feels in your gut interesting that feeds you, that drives you, that like take the bold choice now rather than the safe choice. Because no choice is actually going to feel that safe. No choice is safe, really. Because like if you look at like the like learn to code people from like 2010, it's like it's not it's like the one of the most affected jobs by AI.

Yeah. It seemed like great advice at the time because people were like changing careers to get this this job. And then now the like career outlook for those jobs is like they're shrinking. It's like they're doing layoffs. There's just not as much of it. And so that target is always moving and we can't really predict the future. I think there's something to like the, I think it's so incredibly difficult. And this happens a lot when people are processing grief and when people are just going through a particular mental health crisis or physical health crisis or something where you can't directly relate to it because it's not happening to you in that time, in that body and it's not your brain.

where you don't really have anything you can say other than platitudes because platitudes is the thing that's left. It's the parachute for when you want to help someone and that's the best you can do. It doesn't mean nothing, you know, like, sorry for your loss, that's a nice thing. And as long as someone's receptive to it, it is useful. But this is one of those situations where every little bit of gray matter rolling around my rotten brain is trying and telling me to give some kind of positive encouragement as to like what you can do instead or what's available to you what might happen. And the truth is I actually won't say anything like that because I don't, it is completely realistic and understandable, I guess not realistic, nothing's realistic, but

understandable to be like, there's fucking nothing for me right now. There are no options. Nothing's available for me. I don't even have like the time or health to do the things I care about. But I think there is a slight difference. The advice or at least hope I would have is that people can mostly acknowledge the difference between becoming a duma, which is founded on an idea that life itself is necessarily bad and that people at their core are necessarily bad. And being a realist where you can acknowledge, what is bad and be aware of it and not feel disincentivized from doing that when people say like hey things will turn around things got a little better you know just like just eat three meals a day sleep night look that kind of stuff is like correct but ultimately there's so many circumstances

that can be blocking you financially or otherwise and I think literally the only choice that you always have is whether or not you ascribe it to in a in a hateful way I guess in a like It's a loser idea. The only real loser ideology is living in a world where you assume the worst of everyone, as opposed to just like pointing specifically to the bad behavior of a select few. Yeah. Saying like, well, there's people that really don't want me to do well, or rather people that just don't care in positions of power versus, man, everyone fucking sucks.

No one cares about anyone. Nothing's nice. People did this to me. And it's much more passive. Because that mentality literally like is paralyzing. It makes you feel like why be alive, you know, and that's a dangerous. An external locus to control. Yeah.

Like I think that doing anything that feels you agency and makes you feel like alive and that life is worth living is something worth pursuing. And also just like leveraging whatever privileges you have. Because I think there's a lot of people who feel this way that do have some sort of privilege that they can leverage. Like I was lucky enough to be first of all have scholarship to go to school and then was able to get a job like right out of college and it was a well-paying job and stuff But that was my only like backup plan I didn't have like a family home to go back to I didn't have like A family or a home to go back to I had family members but just my home life situation it was like kind of like I need to figure this out and I don't wish that upon anyone even though it's a real situation a lot of people in but but if you're not in that situation, like, live at home if you have to.

Yeah. Like, basically, like, use, there's no valor. There's no, like, there's nothing cool about doing everything by yourself. Like, take as much help as you, as much as people are willing to give you. Because it's a privilege that I would have taken if I had access to it. Yeah. It's definitely understandable when people are so resistant. into that because it's like believing in American meritocracy, but from the other direction

where it's like, no, I need to be a starving to be an artist as opposed to, no, there's just a lot of artists that are starving because it's not financially viable. And I get like, you know, it's like when I talk to people where like, oh, I'm like living at home right now and I don't love that. I'm like, look, like, I get that it sucks and it can feel like stagnant or whatever, but like. Take advantage. Take advantage and maybe just kind of try to flip your perception of it. on its head because it's almost like you're getting it's like imagine instead if somebody was paying you rent to figure your life out yeah and also you know like you're saying privilege can sometimes come in ways that you aren't really paying attention to like when i first graduated

college i didn't have a job i didn't have like any prospects i couldn't live with my family but I had so many friends that I could be roommates with who were helping me get jobs at their jobs. Like having a big friend group was my privilege right out of college. Yeah. It's like your superpower or whatever. Yeah. But it's like and not everybody's going to have the same like load out of like stats and amenities and things. And so you kind of have to figure out like what is like your special circumstance. and you probably have one and it just depends on like kind of thinking laterally maybe to to

try and squeeze that for as much as you can because it's a game of like how much advantage can I get to like let to sort of find a foothold yeah kind of flip your perspective on what something some like successful life looks like right now yeah you're wasting your own time if you ascribe to any kind of narrative you plotted out. Yeah. If you were under at least the age of 25, like agonizing over what you said you would accomplish is like, you might as well be like, I said I was going to be an astronaut when I was six years old.

Yeah. Yeah. It just doesn't. So much of life too is like you're an 18 year old who's supposed to know what you're going to want to do with your life when you're 22 and graduating. It's like, okay, well, no. And. and our jobs didn't exist when I graduated college.

Right. Like, I could not have planned for this job because it didn't exist. It was 2004. You had like Tanners and Taylors and Blacksmiths, I think was the primary. Yeah, I pretty much was a Blacksmith's apprentice. You're a gatherer for it. But I feel like what brought me to this job was kind of, like, I put so much pressure on myself where I was like, I don't know what I want to do with my life and I don't, I don't feel successful.

And I was watching all my friends have these more linear paths to their goals. And I didn't realize I was actually preparing my whole adult life for this. Sure. Because I was doing a bunch of different things. I just gravitated towards whatever felt right for me at that time. and it landed me here, could not have ever planned it or expected it. And it's also like everyone's kind of journey is different,

everyone's situation is different, and none of this advice may feel useful or applicable to you and like RB. But I think the main thing is just try to not become a doomer because it does sap you of all of your agency and like willingness to like do anything. It's a toxicity that floats around you as well. And other people might not notice it,

but their brain did, right? But yeah, it's going back to the realist thing. It's like, yeah, but you can also acknowledge that like shit is shitty. Yeah. Shit is shitty and not go either direction of. And so that is the way things naturally are. And so I will naturally be resentful of anybody that doesn't feel that way or is feeling better about something or whatever it is. And I'm not going to go the other direction of doing a commencement speech where I say, everything's really tough right now.

So just be a little better. Like work a little harder at it. It's like very frustrating. Just harness the AI. Just lock him. work for you. I mean, to Anastasia's point earlier, there's also, like, if you can, like, try to meet, like, people that give you energy and make you feel optimistic about the world, because it's also easy to be in a situation where everyone's, like, doom and gloom,

and then it can make you feel like that's the only, like, that's the only way to think. Or even if you all are feeling doom and gloom, but then you make something together. and that brings you a little joy. Like that kind of stuff is so energizing. Yeah, it's like you take it for granted that you can just like walk away from a conversation to be like, oh, I don't feel as dark about the world because at least there's someone who I can share this like feeling with

and then that that load is not fully on me. Yeah, right above nutrition, it is the hierarchy of needs its community. And that's so tricky because we're also like one of the most stratified and like atomized moments in community. building. You're not incentivized to do it. You're not encouraged to do it. You're encouraged to kind of like minimize it and have it in quantity across a large amount of space instead of intimately with people that you know well. And that is something I absolutely, I'm officially too old to know how to make friends now. Yeah. Or rather, to know how to make friends as a 20-year-old.

Also, I just have the foundations now, but I promise you it's nothing. I'm still trying to figure it out. So we just have friends. Yeah. Also, when I was younger. and who knows how that works. Oh, new ones, that's, but that's what I mean. It's like making new ones in 2026, I don't know how to do. Yeah. But it's like the privilege thing. I don't have the privilege of already having them.

I'll make a new friend this afternoon. Yeah, okay, well, not all of us have that. But I want to say, but I want to say that when I was younger, I think I was actually not very good at making new friends because I was really scared of putting myself out there and being vulnerable with people. So what did you do? How did you? Because I have that problem. If I'm being like, um, not funny, but honest. Uh, 12 step programs, um, EMDR therapy.

Hell yeah. It's, um, eye movement. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. EMDR. It's a very good kind of therapy for, uh, reprograming your, your brain post-trauma and brain drugs.

That combo. And if I'm being extra cringy, improv. Oh, that's funny. So that combination of those things has made me feel so much more comfortable in my skin and has allowed me to be okay with making a mistake. So that means like if I need a new person and I'm. too loud to whatever I don't automatically think that that person is going to hate me for being myself yeah protagonist syndrome is the dangerous spot where it's like I'm the biggest me at that

party was the biggest deal and maybe improv can lead you to a budding YouTube superstar anyway let's move on to the next topic um so Trump has a new phone coming out who's this guy and I'm thinking and you've only just now got a phone, aren't you, President? Yeah, he's got a lot of money. You think he'd buy one. You'd think he'd buy a phone. No, Keito, I like this. Okay.

I hate it now. How about this Cars for Kids thing? Oh, my God. I heard they can't run ads in California anymore. That happened? That happened. So, Trump, Mobile. Mobile?

Um, is actually an old? Or is it the Trump Mobile? It's the same as the, The Weiner Moble. It's the, I want to say Popemobile, and I keep almost saying PimpMobile. Oh, it is.

Yeah, the Pope Mobile. Mobile. The, actually, I would not be surprised if he created one of those. Do you know what we're talking about, Jarvis? I don't want to. The Pote Mobile was a big glass box that he could drive around in

and not be shot. Yeah, there it is. And not be shot. It's bulletproof. Yeah, because he got shot once. Oh, well, yeah. This is Pope. Wait a minute.

John Paul, I believe. Hold on. There's only one of the four parts. Is that or is it really? Yeah, what? Oh, I guess. No, it's, look at this top. It's a fully enclosed box.

But it looks so clean. This looks like a different version. Oh, never mind. Look at that second photo as well. That's like, he's just got like the window down, I guess, electively. You're going to get shot. What are you thinking, bro? Okay, I'm learning new things every day.

But. Yeah, that's just. Oh, wow. The cars are wiki? It's on the Picks are wiki. Wait, do they have this in the cars movie? No way. I don't know.

That's crazy. Is the character in cars too? His job is to protect the in transport boat pinion. The top is open. I guess it's a car you can't shoot from a vote. Are there guns within the canon of the cars? I don't know. I imagine there's tanks.

Oh, you know what? That's way worse. I've never seen any of the cars movies, but I've never seen any of the cars movies, but I I did recently learn Cars 2 is kind of a James Bond secret agent thing. I kind of want to watch the Cars movies. Should we do it? I'm down. Okay.

Second one's kind of fun. I never saw the third one, which is, it's like Top Gun Maverick. It's like, I've got one last job. Oh, boy. So that's Eric, right? Hmm. Yeah. Yeah.

I'm handsome one. I know that, so this is a phone plan and they have like a new phone. Yeah, for $500 essentially. Because a coffee zilla got. one or he he got up like order for one meet the two meet the to so jacob do you know when this originally when you could first buy these because it's been years right it was announced no no it hasn't been years but it was announced in june 2025 and they originally promised that they would ship in august of 2025 wow and they they kind of presented as if it's like a flagship phone i think

and some of the branding they talk about it as such, but it's like not going to be that. It's one of the only phones you can buy that looks exactly like piss. Well, that's the thing. And it's designed in China with American values in mind. It was supposed to be made in America. It was originally sold on that idea, but they realized they couldn't do that.

So now it's designed with American values in mind. What does that mean? We don't know. By the way, is this written with AI? The T1 isn't just another smartphone. What? Semicolon. It's a bold step toward wireless independence. I would not be surprised.

Wireless independence, huh? That's like how AI would describe a phone. Like, do you like my new phone? Your new phone isn't just a smartphone. It's your wireless independence, allowing you to connect globally with people all over the world. That's a great question, Javis. Let me just go ahead and use a dash in a semicolon to break down why that's a great idea. Which month has an X in it?

Well, obviously, October. October. Can we see an image of what it looks like? Gordy. That even looks more gold than actual photos of the phone. The American flag, like black like that, just looks like one of those like thin blue line. Punisher logo. Also, it says it has Trump mobile written twice on it.

It's like on the camera and on the bottom of the vote. Just in case you forget. I don't, look, they're not sending their best Photoshop artists. Also, okay, I have so many issues. But it doesn't. This... Isn't it weird that like despite being a brand for his entire life, Trump still does not really have a cohesive aesthetic.

It's gold. It's gold, but then the type phase is all right off. Do you see that 5,000 right there? Oh, the 5,000 Ma Battery. Yeah, you know what that stands for, Jordan? Million pounds. There you go. He's learning.

I've seen better. He's learning. I've seen many more million. powers um more choices more value wait wait go welcome to the features again that was uh what of the features is android operating system okay yeah and it's got the snap dragon snapdragon mobile platform isn't that just like the processor the uh uh uh uh uh uh is it uh is a qualkagon that's snapdwegan that sounds scary it's made by qualkcom boom dude he knows thing where's that based uh san diego california all right american values more choices more value

Trump mobile fax. I thought that was going to be a one, two, three, kind of. The American flag, I'm reading reports that it's missing two stripes. It looks off, doesn't it? Oh, yeah, because it's, what, 13 stripes, right, for all the original colonies? I think there's only 11 now. One by one till we've given a day to every state in the U.S. Why?

We have 50 now. Oh, wait a second. But there's 50 stars. Hang on, you know what? I think might be happening here. Can you zoom in even further? I don't know if you can. So if you zoom in the bottom left-hand corner, it looks like it's like a ripple of like a 3D, like right below the stars.

It almost looks like there's a darkness. Yeah. That makes it seem as though it was just a Photoshop of a flag that had like a like a 3D ripple in it or something. Yeah. Like a photo bucket live flag. Oh, because this, by the way, is just a. Samsung phone that they colored gold and put the Trump decals on. In the least satisfying location to look at, by the way.

Yeah. Something about the placement right there at the bottom is like, eerie to me. It was automatically installed with, um, true social. True social. Thank goodness. Hell yeah. And, uh, the other thing is that, um, it's actually more yellow than gold. Mm-hmm.

Uh, do people have it in hand yet? Because I think some, uh, news outlets got it but that's it when we first started talking about this I am genuinely curious on some of the reactions because the one thing

that even the cult of Maga is obsessed with is their phone and I think that it being disappointing like it being frustrating they will cry about it so if you go to

wow so yeah Confizilla did this and he did actually they started giving notices recently but NBC News has a video

first look with the new Trump phone and it does look different for what it's worth. Is the Trump Mobile supposed to be a line in the flag? Do you see what I mean? Oh yeah. Maybe it's a line in the flag. Is that the idea?

You see that when they put down the pre-order it was a iPhone that was Photoshop to look gold. Like if you scroll back. That's funny. Oh yeah. The camera's different. And then it's got big T1. The Apple logo

still behind it. It's written with shopping. And see that's the color Oh that's foul Yeah it's just yellow It's just yellow It's not gold Also then they Dehydrated yellow

It's a bad teammate Did you see the bad teammate And this one's got printed White or silver I guess Oh what's happening? Yeah and according to an analyst At san.com It's essentially just a reskined

T-Mobile rebel phone That can't be right Made in charging China. Yep, no, no, no. Yep, yep, yep. It was literally made. But with American values. But they were thinking about America.

With American values and wines such as truth social. And then the number that's been sort of floated around is that 590,000 people preordered it. But nobody except for the people from Trump Mobile has been able to verify that there actually were that many pre-orders. Oh, interesting. Which kind of like makes sense. You're like, you're telling me over half a million people. Yeah, that's kind of crazy. Yeah, that's kind of crazy.

And it's like a little $50 million cash infusion. I just don't. If that's what it was. Even a $100 deposit is so iconically scammy. Like, I think you have to deposit less money to like buy a Tesla back in the day. Yeah. What if they claimed 590,000 people? 590,000 people deposited $100 because this is a money laundering scheme.

Well, I feel like everything that Trump does feels like a money laundering. Hypothetical Alligate, uh, writing a play. Well, they will like not as hypothetically, but hypothetically, there's, they make a lot more from the crypto scam. So there's got to be more than Muthvii Transformers, Robots in Disguise. The, um, uh, uh, a shout out to our captioner. He's going to caption. Shout out Sarah. A human being. A human being. I guess that's what, yeah, that's, I guess we never talk about it, but it's been years now.

We have a human caption or Sarah who makes the human captions. And so sometimes people are like, oh, these are actually good. And it's because it's not AI. Because it's a human doing it. Shout out to Sarah. Thank you for her hard work. Shout out trying to be accessible where we can. We know it's a human because Sarah has to sometimes ask if I'm saying something

regionally not, some regional nonsense. Every now and again, Sarah will send us a clip of Jordan speaking and we're asked to decipher what is being said. And I'll say, I have no idea. Let me ask Jordan. And then Jordan will say, I have no idea. Nada. That ain't me, dude. I hear it in my jawline. I hear it in my skull. I don't hear it out loud. So Jordan and my birthday was a long time ago. No. Not that long. It was ages ago. It was a lot back. Like 30 years ago. New ones coming up, I reckon. Um, but the, uh, we got each other gifts to exchange on our birthday. And then I think just how the cookie crumbled, we didn't, end up having a good time to do it.

And then we got to the end of it and went, oh, we haven't done it. Let's do it. Let's do it on the podcast. And then we got sick. And so now it's like. And then Jordan refused to come to work.

So I was being investigated for me too funny. Jordan, can you show your beautifully wrapped gift? I just pick up Aldi. Yeah. So we're going to do our gift exchange now. Ooh, so classy. Wow, beautifully wrapped.

Look at that paper. Now, now my gift to you was beautifully wrapped, but for the sake of production, I have stripped it of all. Someone stole it. It was covered in your address. Don't worry, this is my PO box.

That is a weird thing to put on it. Yeah, it was covered in your address, and so I ripped it off just for you. Okay, so we should start with my beautifully unwrapped package. It's minimal. Yes, exactly. You're no protection, unwrapped package. Okay, there's protection. Oh, okay.

It's a Brookstone handheld something. You got it. Wind speed 200 kilometers per hour. What was this? You know how people repacked stuff? So fast. It used to be a hurricane. Could it be a droid?

This might be the droid you're looking for. But there's no air holes. He'll suffocated. Here, I'll put this over here. Tap your nails on it. Let me just tell you, well, before you go further, this is not something that is on sale in 26. It's not legal to sell it.

It's a Cuban cigar. Kind of. That's why we're in a, international waters right now. Oh, dude, this is, I made eye contact with it, and that's what caught me. This is the first image. I already knew what this is, and I'm laughing. Misa having a happy birthday.

Yeah. What is he too? He looks like, this is a, like, um, he's kind of cheeky. I think now what, 20, 26 year old vintage, but still sealed. This is sealed. So you can choose to open it. it and wear it. Or you can choose to keep it as a collection item.

Now, how would I... This is amazing. So it's a Jar Jar Binks. He doesn't describe... It's probably obvious what it is based on the audio. Based on, based on the back of the packaging. You've really heard it. It is, as people are expecting,

it is a Star Wars episode one, The Phantom Maness collector watch. Keychain. I believe this is Quigon Jens lightsaber from what I can tell. Oh shit. This is exactly the same lightsaber toy I had when I was like seven. Wow.

knew that. Oh wow. And you can, you literally can tear his face open to check the time. Yeah. So it's a collectible, like, uh, Jar Jar watch, and you can wear it as a watch and you can open Jar Jar's face in order to tell the time. How visible that is? The fact that he's, he is, I guess to work as something that's closed, he's doing an, a

coy adorable, like, you mad at me? And then you get it. He kind of does that. How wooed. He says how wooed, quite. Did I tell him I'm currently watching all the Clone Wars cartoons? Yes. The 3D animated one?

Well, I watched the Gendi ones. The Gendee was. The Gendee. The Gendee. Terakowski. Tarkovsky. I never try to say it. I just call him Gendee.

He's the guy you made Dexter's Lab as well. Yeah. And Samurai Jack. And it's really funny having Jar Jar Jar. Like the Jar Jar episodes are the worst ones. I know. So I know you get, Jordan, I know you get lonely. So now you can have your Jar Jar with you at all times.

Oh. Thank you, Jar Jar. Nisa crying. Lisa, have a nice birthday. The logistics of this is so funny because it's essentially two almost unrelated toys because it is the watch. Yes. And then in addition, there is a lightsaber case to put the watch in that you then hang on with your keys.

Yeah, let me tell you, I was quite confused. When I was looking at the packaging, trying to understand where the lightsaber really came into all of this. It was right. It was Quigangangin. I'm going to assume you did it with your mind and didn't just read that it said Quigand Jem light saber. Yeah, I don't have the reading comprehension to see it that first. This is fucking safe. I love it.

I know that it's obviously because it's much writing his name. Charger. You're very good at opening your mind and using the force. Well, it flows through all of us. It penetrates us. It's the light in the dark. You know what's funny? this is packed in a way that I feel like things aren't packed anymore

where I'm like you need scissors and you need to like enter into a semi-dangerous conflict with the packaging. This is like a construction-based. It was never super clear how you were supposed to open the packages. And I more than once injured myself. Frankly, the hard sharp plastic. Because it's even hard to cut with scissors.

Yes. You end up cutting yourself with a scissors. Well, also the plastic becomes a shard that can rip your skin. This honestly is a great way to package something that you want to survive for 26 years. And look at it. You can't even accidentally. You know what's unnecessarily hard to open as packages is packages of scissors.

They are so heavily protected. It's like a little quest that you have to solve. To level up your... This is amazing. I didn't get... Mine's not as old as old. No, no, it's okay. It's not as old as yours.

I got really stoked. All right, here I go. Here he goes. Oh, hell yeah. Another leading figure in our life. Is Gohan amid Misenko? So I very specifically I explored Little Tokyo.

I'm like, I want something, but I don't want something from Super, but I also don't want something really early Z. And I went around. I couldn't find quite the thing I wanted. And I think maybe somebody working in one of the stores saw me looking morose because they had a wholesale area. I know exactly what you need. They didn't have any of the ones that I want. And so I asked do you have gohan because they just didn't they had they didn't have kid kid

Gohan but I wanted so he'll be older go on there he is dude the collection The squad I didn't even realize like the same brand does list her yeah it's the same brand and it's the same era It's like gohan fires this Misenko and very shortly thereafter Krillin is killed by Friza as you can see He has his wound he's still got his wound so this is interestingly interestingly interestingly interestingly is this, he's still in his NAMIC gear, but he's been brought back by the Dragon Balls. It doesn't make any sense. Does he keep that on where he gets to? Yeah.

It's completely gone. So this is interesting. You can repose it to be dead. Yeah, you can like, if you need Goku to go Super Sai'an, you can, like, throw him in the air with a giant wound in this belly. Happy birthday everybody. So, yeah, this is like a one-two punch. This is like, they kind of all match.

Yeah. The 90s. The 90s happened. Well, I guess the. Only 90s kids. At that. Jacob, you're born in 99? 98.

Wow, barely made the cut. You were born in 91. Oh, honey. I came over on the 1999 Express. So you keep going back. I was born in 1981. I'm so excited to me at that on Friday. Is it just going to be me and you and my dad?

Are you going to go? No, me. I'll be there. Jacob, do you want to come to breakfast with my dad? Man, I. Okay, I'll add you to live. I don't have a lot of like collectory stuff in package, but I don't think I have the heart to open it. I do.

And that's something I do, because I know how I am, and I like to impose that conundrum upon others. I also don't, I really wouldn't want to get rid of the package itself because this rocks. The other thing about this is that... Which is awesome.

The thing I like about stuff like this is that it can be like a fun little display to you. because it has a novelty because like it feels dated even the packaging. Yeah, the packaging feels like fun to display as well. There's so much text

for a child's toy here. Let's run it through. Lightaber doubles as display case. I mean, it singles as display case. You know, it's not a real sword. Yeah, what else are you going to use it for? To display your watch, remove lid by twisting it clockwise

and pulling up, use the hook on underside of lid to secure buckle and lower watch into lightsaber so that it appears in the launch. window secure lid by placing it back onto the saber and turning counterclockwise. The thing is, me as a seven-year-old, incredible reading comprehension. I know exactly what they mean.

And if I don't, I'll ask a parent for help, definitely, and I won't just dedicate myself. Also, good Lord, imagine a child trying to open it. Please, an adult. Maybe that's why. This has a body count. Like, there's fatalities on this thing. They tried.

They failed. Misa, where my watch? Can you look up the, um, uh, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I do want to be able to show this watch opening. It's so weird that it's like fleshy. What the? This is his name on the inside? I didn't even notice that.

Also, mind you. Oh, yeah, it is his goo. It's his jar-dra brain and guts. Can we check the other ones? Who else? Oh, well, we've got, I believe we had a Darth mall. Oh, my God. Can you imagine having that dark funny?

I want to say, and I'm not even joking. I think I might have had a Darth mall one of these as a kid. Did that look familiar? Oh, that's cool. Because I remember, that doesn't even look right. He's two of the face again. He looks incredible. Can we look up the Anakin one because the image I'm seeing here is incredible.

Is it little kid, Annie? It looks like peeps. There he is. Like plastic like breaks down over time or something. There's also like a line of Burger King toys around this era. Oh my God. If. Ew.

Look at his little lips. If he looks like, it can look like like like, like, like, like Leia. Or like, yeah. Yeah, he does. He looks like a... Is it crazy? Have we talked about maybe

Halloween costume, Peeps being Anakin and you being Jar Jarger? Yeah, I can't wait for them to see the movie. I guarantee they have not seen Phantom Menace. Well, why would they have seen

any of these? They're worn yesterday. Do you remember when you were Brian Griffin from Family Guy? Yeah, basically. Yeah, you, a black man dressed up as a dog. I do worry... Of course they made him dress up as a terrible.

Of course they made. That's what they said. Of course they made him. I do fear that you would get a similar thing if you chose to be Jar Jar Jar, even of your own volition. What if we get a... Despite Jarger being voiced by a black man.

Yeah. We should get Eddie to dress up as Darth Ball. Oh, that would be fine. Minus the red. Plus the glasses. Yeah, I was thinking about that the other day. Darth Mall, they found a perfect ratio between red and black

to where it feels okay. Like, uh... Yeah. What were you going to say, Ray Sharp? The guy that physically divorced. Yeah. Ray... I want to say Ray Chase.

Did somebody say Ray Romano? You were kind of doing a Ray Romano doing Yoda. I ask not what your country can do for you. I was like, who speaks in reverse? It's J.FK. What kind of stuff does Yoda say? Hey! Whoa, I'm Jonah over here and I'm really small and green.

He says something like, try not. Do or do not, there is no try. There you go. But I'm trying to eat some amazing Italian foods, like some graffiti. Deborah. Can you say Deborah? Deborah. Both lasers coming out.

Deborra. Oh, my God. I always liked Deborah. I always thought she was kind of in the right, to be honest. Well, are you kidding? There's so many episodes of him being like, what are you on your period? What are you on your? I don't feel comfortable.

It's very respectful. Ray's had some personal growth. That's pretty cool. Yeah, I think, well, you know, everybody loved Raymond and then time kind of caught up to me. And now everybody's a bit skeptical of Raymond. Happy birthday to us. And if you want to continue to support our birthday or get us a birthday gift, just buy a ticket to the birthday show. That's all I want for my birthday.

And I promise, I swear, I won't do this again, unless people like it. I'll do it again. Buy a ticket. I have to say, I'm so excited. There's so much fun stuff that we have planned. Get on in here. There's going to be lots of fun times. He's going to be on the show.

Yeah, he's going to watch his language all of it. I'm going to be so woke. Oh, my God. People will be like, whoa. People are going to be like, who is Ray Romano? We don't know who that guy is. Literally who. What is this?

This is a show from, it's even old for me. Yeah. I didn't see this till long after it was over. I did recently talk to a Gen Zier who said that they watched the show when they were young, and I was like, why? Where? I don't even know what platform it's on now. I mostly only got this impression from watching Pete Holmes podcast and him doing the impression of him. We're coming into the station on this episode of Sat Boys, but two things.

One, live show the 28th. grab your tickets come see us make fools of ourselves and have a grand old time with friends, guests, music, sketches. Live stream online. Live stream online in interaction. It'll be a grand old time. Please buy tickets.

My family is starving. That's unrelated, but you can both. That's unrelated. I don't have an immediate family here that I'm, but you could be out there. No. And then the second thing is we are going to head over to our patreon.com slash sadboys where you can check out Sabboys nights

our Patreonics was a podcast for the low low price of $5 a month. If you so fancy. If you so fancy. It's a grand old time where we're going to be talking about the debunking of O's the Mentalist, which I love to see a mentalist go down going mental on them. And I might have some Anastasia grapes. Anastasia's got gripes and I've got grapes. I don't know about anything.

So check it out or don't because at the end of the day, this is a YouTube channel. And it's not that deep. Yeah, it's all chill. Hey, but we're having a grand old time over here. We end every episode of Sad Boys with a particular phrase. We love you. And we're sorry. Thanks for listening.

And we'll see you next time. Bye-bye. Goochie girl. How you doing? How you moving on? How's you dead looking at that future girl? Future girl. Yeah, we are now.

Take my money. Go away. Oh, you want it. Go too rich for me.