Sad Boyz - Awkward Thanksgiving Dinner Conversations

Episode Date: December 9, 2017

It's just the boyz this week. We reflect on our thanksgiving holiday and the very awkward dinner conversations that we had. Relatedly, we talk about how the confederate flag is a lot like the california roll, vine is coming back and we unironically can't contain our excitement and we hear the thrilling conclusion of Jordan's surprise for his mom that we heard about last week (hi Joy!)   follow us @sadboyzpod

oh hey uh jarvis jarvis yeah that's me what the fuck are you doing in my house my name is javaris johansson i'm your great great great great grandson what i'm here to tell you oh my god i'm here from the future to tell you that you need to open Twitter DMs so that listeners of the Sad Boys podcast can contact the show to talk about whatever they want, whether it's a topic of interest to them, something they want us to talk about, or maybe even just like the homework that we set for that week. Yeah, I turned on Twitter DMs last week, man.

Huh? They've been on since last week so that so if say like a fan wanted to write in with a question or a topic they wanted to talk about they could just do that right now yeah we've already had a few people write in i oh um so the wait you're from the future yeah it cost a cost a lot of money and lives to get me here. I have so many questions. Yeah, I don't want to get into it right now. I'm kind of in the dumps, actually. So one of the trade-offs was that I would dissolve after about 45 seconds. Wait, no, please.

Am I going to be alone forever? Welcome to The Sad Boys, a podcast about feelings and other things also. I'm Jarvis. And I'm Jordan. Is that gravy gluten-free, Cope? It's not. It's very gluten-y. So today, it's just the boys. It's just us. It's those sweet little boys. We've been spoiling you all with our very guest-filled episodes, but

guests aren't all this podcast about. Isn't that right, Jordan? We've been spoiling you with interesting episodes. Now it's time to have just the boys. Now it's time for the vegetables the boys now it's time for the vegetables you've eaten and i'm jarvis vegetables are gluten-free johnson uh yeah we've been doing a ton of guest episodes for the last few weeks and we love doing them they're a blast but we'd also like to have a bit more of a cadence around just us chatting because we've got some stuff that aren't necessarily always appropriate for guests but maybe we want to chew on a little bit you know what i'm saying yeah i don't know what you're

saying is this character this is me i'm the dude so what's our topic today young jarvis so we both just returned from our thanksgiving holiday we sure did and both of us went home. I went home to Gainesville, Florida. I went home to Old Blighty. Is that? That's a thing. I have no idea what the origin of that is, but it is Old Blighty.

B-L-I-G-H-T-Y. Old Blighty. Is that a euphemism for like the UK? Are you in France? It's England, yeah. Oh, it's the UK. I assume because the uk has historically kind of been a blight on earth wow so so so that good old self-deprecating uh

english uh yeah with just a tint of fun and whimsy yeah old blighty plaguey i sure am a blight i'm a blighty blo bloke. Yeah, but I love blighty blokes, which actually leads us pretty neatly into our topic for the day. Yes. Some blighty blokes that we each spoke to. Yeah, so I mean, Thanksgiving is a time when you're connected with not only the family you love,

but also the family you're related to. Yeah, you know, the family you're related to. The only one. Yeah, you know, like blood relatives. You know the kind. Or close friends and family. But I think there's this existing stigma around the idea of going back for,

I mean, I should say, this is like my third Thanksgiving ever. And two of them have been out of the country. So I don't have a lot of Thanksgiving experience. We did like kind of a fun celebratory meal in the UK while I was visiting my family or surprising. Yeah. Cause I guess Thanksgiving is a distinctly American holiday and it's a weird one at that.

Yeah. It's a strange one. It's one of those ones that you try not to dig too deep on her. Oh yeah. Well with America, you can't dig too deep or else it's horrible. Yeah. Um, that's a good slogan for all of English history, actually. Yeah. Don't dig too deep. Whoa. It gets rough. Oh's a good slogan for all of English history, actually. Yeah, don't dig too deep.

Whoa, it gets rough. We did what? Yeah, our ancestors did what now? God, we were a blighty. We were a couple of blighty blokes. We were such a bunch of blighty blokes. But anyway, there's this ongoing stigma around the Thanksgiving holiday because typically that's when you go back and you meet up with Uncle Steve

and Uncle Steve drops a slightly racist line. And you're like, Steve. Classic Steve. And this is the first time that you were an adult and aware of your surroundings in the world. And now you realize that the adults or the people that were previously infallible are just regular old humans.

Just humans with flaws. You know, those things that we're full of and that it's completely reasonable to assume they would have. With flaws. I heard floors. You know those things that I have in my home. Just humans with floors. Filled to the brim with floors. So yeah, we want to talk today about some of the more awkward things that happened during our Thanksgiving break.

Yeah, I mean, I was actually, I've been very fortunate in the past to not to not at least none that i remember have one of those classic go back to your home to i mean you know i've been back to my hometown many times since college right and since leaving college but each time for whatever reason i've managed to avoid that encounter when you suddenly go hey jeff how's it going oh that's a that's a confederate flag jeff oh no you can't have that, Geoff. You live in old Blighty. What does that even represent here? Okay, total segue. This, maybe somebody can provide some answers over the Twitter DMs, at Sad Boys Pod, or something like that. The Confederate flag is used all the time in the UK.

What? It's really strange. It was used so frequently that until I found out what the Confederate flag actually represented at like eight, I don't know, 12 or whatever through American pop culture, I just thought it was just some symbol, some flag. People will have it up in their window in a small farming town, I assume because they like Dukes of Hazzard. That's so, you know what that makes me think of? And go with me on this one. Okay.

Is sushi. Okay, I have to go. The California roll is a thing that was invented in the united states so basically we took sushi uh like i think it was like a new york uh sushi chef um sushi was becoming big in new york i think it was like around the 70s or something and the the california roll was invented in new york i think not even california and now in tokyo you can get it's been reverse imported right so not unlike the like america you know we we left we left the queen came over to the states did a thing then we had our own civil war and now we're reverse importing the confederate flag back i don't understand it is so bizarre to this day i have

no idea what the actual implication in that context was because i'm pretty sure it was not like states rights oh and by the way my uh my point there is the california roll is a symbol of the confederacy sorry yeah if anybody didn't know it's from specifically the east coast confederacy yeah the east coast confederate rolls my favorite could i get a confederate roll it's no crab it's just filled with hate it's red white and blue that's really old it's cream cheese with three different food colorings wait shit this sounds really good yeah oh my god am i a racist no i just love confederate i just love the food that i mean that's kind of funny

that's how people think talk about the flag around here uh like on like if you go to the south it's like people they're like no but my ancestors they like fought for this right it's just a historical image that's nuts it's like but there are a lot of those and we don't like okay uh historical images are everything in the world yeah everything all books in fact most images are uh historical images as they're happened in the past by definition no you see mine camp was written in the past so it's actually good it's actually a historical image and i would like it on my sushi roll yeah absolutely no idea why that has any prevalence in the uk but fortunately as i said never have encountered anything like that before. I never bumped into a friend or

colleague or like previous girlfriend or whatever that suddenly had this wild shift in political alignment or revealed something weird about themselves. And this trip I did. And that's what we're going to be talking about today. But first, Jordan, I want to talk to you about your week. I feel like I haven't seen you in forever. We've been stealthy. We've been stealthy sad boys. We've been some, uh, we've been some hermit boys. Yeah. We've been kind of all over the place. Um, since I got back from the UK, I just kind of crashed from jet lag for a while. Oh, same. You were deep in video land. I believe I was deep in all the lands, uh, deep in the land, deep in borderlands.'s just deep in the land deep in borderlands i was deep in outside lands you dug underground i was deep in my own land i dug a tunnel under my apartment and turns out i live

on the second floor so i really just dug a hole sorry mrs peterson that was really messed up sorry the napper dandy uh the irish pub that i live on top of i now have a hole in your ceiling but i do have access to your fries which is let's be honest a cost i'm willing to pay this episode is sponsored by the nabotandi this episode is sponsored by shovels yeah no i actually uh i wrote a video but i haven't even been able to shoot it because i've just been so busy with a lot of things we're gearing up to go to podcon in seattle podcast conventional i believe it stands for yeah uh you know founded by hank green and friends and uh you know work's been pretty pretty wild and crazy i've seen a few

more movies uh this year i just saw the disaster artist yes yes yes yes yes yes and i saw ladybird dude it's such a good season it's. I've got to get back in there. And Star Wars is about to come out. Yeah, that's like an indie movie or some shit. I don't really watch that weird obscure indie shit. Yeah, no, it's like some student film. Yeah, I'll stick with the disaster artist in Lady Bird, thanks. I'll stick with the $200 million budget blockbusters.

So that was your week, mostly absorbed in movies and the like? Yeah, I think it's just been, I would say at work was a pretty big piece. You work for Star Wars. I'm George Lucas. I'm Jar Jar Vespix. Ooh, rough. You know, I actually was called that a lot when I was a kid. Wait, really?

Yeah, because the movie just came out. Oh, no. Peak period. Yeah, yeah. It was not a good time to have jar in your name. Unfortunately, there's pretty much just the one name. Yeah. Yeah, so I think, I don't know where the time has gone.

I've just like had a lot to do, you know? Yeah, that's fair. Oh, I, you know what? I, Cyber Monday happened after Thanksgiving. Uh-huh. And so a couple of things. I, for Cyber Monday, after Thanksgiving. So a couple of things. I, for Cyber Monday, bought a television. So I finally have a TV in my living room again

after all my roommates moved out and one of them took the TV. Oh, he took it? Sorry, I misread that. He put it in his mouth and swallowed the full TV. He walked out and he was like, I'll see you around. And he was shaped weirdly like a television.

But I didn't think anything of it. I could hear the news coming out of him. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was super strange, but I thought I was just hallucinating. The second thing I bought was a hard drive just to do some backups on my media. What a stupid adult purchase. I know, I know. That's why I wanted to brush that one under the rug.

The second was a bulk toothpaste. purchase. I know. I know. That's why I wanted to brush that one under the rug. The, uh, the second was a bulk toothpaste. Um, no, I have my Colgate. You gotta can't ever run out. Um, but I also bought, and this is a life changing purchase for me, a Bluetooth speaker. That's waterproof. Oh, game over. I guess what? Now I live in the shower. shower yeah i it changed it's already changed my life um because i'm in the shower and i'm just like i never have to leave like why would i go because normally i was i realized i was in the shower until i got bored i was like i mean i could listen to a podcast outside of this thing i can like go watch a tv show now i can just listen to everything yeah i've been you look really dehydrated. You're okay. I've been trying to drink the hot

water. It turns out that's not really hydrating me at all. You are a full prune. I, uh, I've been bumping the NSYNC holiday album because it is that time of year, Jordan, where we're, we're, in the holiday season. Yeah. You don't need an excuse to listen to the holiday album i know you do it all year round oh yeah i want i do i do only seasonally listen to the holiday album but year round i'm listening to every other in sync album what now how do we feel about like maybe private content jump into a free open live stream people pay 50 bucks and they can just watch you dance in the shower to nsync um you'd be surprised at how often that is actually happening um and 50 a month sounds like the right price point so if you head over to patreon.com sad boy sad shower shower boys you can find our exclusive pod um that's just jarvis dancing and listening to

bluetooth speaker well my week jarvis yes unfortunately i haven't really been able to do anything because of the news no did you hear the news oh oh god the news troop get out your pens the thing happened the main thing happened no wait i know what you're actually talking about sorry for a second i was really i thought you were just vaguely talking about something no no no i think everybody listening knows exactly what i'm talking about there have been no other major news events over the last few weeks nothing we've heard nothing out of the white house the number one most important thing that's happening is vine's coming back vine is coming back and you bought us a trumpeter you can only play for six seconds you all can't see this but

there's just a boy playing a trumpet on jordan's roof he's on vine brand he can play for six seconds he's wearing a vine t-shirt he plays a six second tune his trumpet is a brass cone shaped like a v i am completely 100 unironically excited about i am also super excited about vine coming back so uh this is relatively recent news like we're not breaking this news but there is going to be another vine and it's going to come out in early 2018. And I am definitely going to be using that as like some, some creative output. Dude, I feel like, I feel like there was a narrative cycle around vine when it was very exciting and interesting. And then a certain demographic picked it up like kind of young teen boys. And then all of a sudden for us, it became very uncool to like vine. Right, right, right.

Baby, I've gone full circle. I could not be more excited to get Vine back. Did you ever Vine back in the heyday? I didn't. I missed out. Oh my God. I was exclusively a lurker. I have like three Vines.

Accounts. I have three Vine accounts because I ran out of space. I didn't even think that was the thing that could happen. They allow you to make a seven second video if you have three accounts. Yeah. It was at a time.

It was at a Vine. It was at a Vine time. It was at a time when I wasn't creating things as seriously. It was like, oh, if I have an idea that happens upon my brain fully formed, I'll put it out. And I had some like minor vine like i had some loops i had a couple thousand loops in there you know but this is the new me

is ready to vine new me is about to dive in i'm yeah i'm gonna stop doing this podcast yeah if you take anything away from this podcast don't let it be any of the emotionally resonant content that we talk about please focus primarily on the fact that Vine is back. Please follow me at jordandoesagoodvine.com forward slash Vine. Why, like, why would you listen to this podcast? That's 200 Vines you could be listening to. Look at all the content you're missing out on. We're going to make feature length Vines back to back. We're going to make a Vine augmented reality game, ARG, told between our two Vine accounts where you have to follow the clues. Well, we say that we'll just be Vining each one half of Star Wars 8.

So we actually did earlier this evening record something of a Vine because the dating app, Coffee Meets Bagel, has a feature where you can upload a video to answer a question. A feature that's maybe more valuable than the dating aspect of the app? 100%. Essentially every day at like 6 p.m. it asks you a question like, what trait do you most look for in a partner? And everyone is like earnestly answering these questions. What a bunch of fools. Yeah, no. So i've just been using that as my opportunity to vine uh so every single time i answer one of the discussions the joke and tonight uh jordan and i pretended that he was a serial killer in a suit stalking me yeah we've really been upping the

production value for your dating life yeah it's great but you know what's funny the sweat equity on my end is significant yeah that's kind of true. You better name the kid after me. You know that, um, every day, uh, it, like after those vines,

it'll be like, Oh, you got some like matches from your video. And it's all like people in Wisconsin and like Virginia and stuff that are like, I can't wait for vine to come back. You like that. Why are we making it sound like that? That's not what you sound like.

I'll study in Wisconsin. I'm not from here. Hey, stop that. And yeah, it's like, I don't even understand why everyone in any area can see those videos. Because it's like, what are the odds that me and like Jerika,

who lives 500 miles away, have an unlikely bond over a six second say six second video i imagine it's probably usually region locked but after the overlords the overlords of coffee meets bagel mr bagel uh sees that video that we put together he's probably just like shit the world needs to see this this is the last true movie they actually are gonna start vine 2 seeding it with my coffee videos for every account like how tom's your friend on MySpace. Yeah, it's just Jarvis' dating app videos. But enough about our week.

We're going to talk about our most awkward Thanksgiving conversations after the break. Oh! Hey, it's Jarvis from the Sad Boys. I'm in a bit of a pinch don't move I'm really sorry mister I'm being held at gunpoint and I just need you to do one thing I need you to go over to iTunes and type in Sad Boys with a Z

and rate and review us do they know the URL? tell them the URL the URL is really not human readable so I suggest using a search engine like that in iTunes or maybe. You want to see the barrel of this gun? Okay. Well, it's iTunes.com slash podcast slash sad boys with a Z dash 4XZ9.

And include the thing about Jordan being the better host. Who isn't me? I'm not him. You're not Jordan. No. But Jordan is the best host. Don't't me? I'm not him. You're not Jordan. No. But Jordan is the best host. Don't look at me. Jordan is the best host. And say he's a cool guy, too.

He's a cool... Do I have to? Yeah, no, and when he tripped the other day, that wasn't embarrassing. It was actually like a cool prank that he was doing. Just shoot me. And I'm alive. And we're back. Told you you. Jordan, the magic of theater, the magic of podcasting. Jarvis, I say we dive head first into a fat, nasty topic of the day. Ow. Well, can we do it a little slower? I hurt myself. Sorry. Yeah. Um, we can, let's crawl

gingerly down into the topic. Okay, perfect. So our topic today is those awkward Thanksgiving conversations. Specifically, I want to talk about this year's conversations, but I'm sure there's something that happened in the past that's going to come up as well. Yeah, absolutely. Who would like to start? Because we both have not dissimilar stories, but I don't know. I don't think either of us knows the details. We just know like we had similar culprits i think yes yes so so jordan i want you to walk me through this entire arc so you i saw you right before you left for the uk you were on a 16 hour flight uh yeah 14 hour flight then a few extra hours of train travel oh boy that's a lot because you you live in like a little remote village with some gnomes yeah but but i will say it sounds like a

long trip but it does give you a lot of time to look at your phone that's run out of battery so oh wow that was pretty fun did you have like a physical book or anything to keep i had a physical book but for the life of me i didn't know how to open it i've never used one before so it probably didn't have the key i didn't because they're supposed to have audio right like you download them from audible and i just didn't i couldn't get it to play no i think you have to find them from Audible and I just didn't, I couldn't get it to play. No, I think you have to find someone on the street who knows how to read and then have them read it to you. It's like, it's kind of like one of those

just add water things where you have to like just add. Just add knowledge. Just add readability. What's the word for knowing how to read? Being literate. There we go. What's the word for knowing words? We're going to leave it in the podcast. I couldn't remember the word for knowing words we're gonna leave in the uh into the podcast i couldn't

remember the word literacy um so uh what goes through your mind when you are your phone's dead and you've got 15 plus hours of travel uh well i'll tell you what doesn't go through my mind is i am gonna have an in-depth and lengthy political argument in my hometown during this trip and yet old blighty surprises so you see always giveth you finish up your travel you surprise joy cope i do i scare the shit out of my mother joy cope can you walk me through that because i think the listeners we we teased it yeah that's true we've got to resolve this tale yeah we did a little bit of time travel last time uh i believe in the heather episode i was uh still in the u.s had not flown yet yeah and i lied and you all believed me for a second fooled you yeah uh and yeah i flew

over and scared the shit out of my mom which was a lot of fun you like knocked on the door so yeah so i roll up um my aunt who's been keeping the secret this entire time who i love to pieces but for the life of her uh cannot keep no it's not so much that you can't keep a secret but the pressure of keeping a secret is certainly getting to her she's been excellent keeping this she was a dynamic she's a double agent she's been in a cold sweat for the for two weeks leading up to this she is a undercover new york police officer that's been in the mob a little bit too long at this point yeah Yeah. She's starting to like, like the thrill.

It's getting a little too much. No, don't, don't come. I want to hold onto the secret forever. Like the power, but no, no.

So I turn up. Um, and as I'm walking down the street, my aunt rushes out, bear in mind, my phone doesn't work. She just knows I'm here. She senses me purely by the fact that she desperately needs me to be there so

she can let go of the secret. Yeah. She. She was looking out of her window every one minute. So yeah, she bolts out. Uh, we have a hug and she's like, she's inside. And so I just go inside. My mom's upstairs. She's hanging out. She doesn't know that I'm there. I opened the door and, Oh my God. Hello. It's me. And i wish i could have been that enthused but i'm jordan cope and when i go in in situations like that i kind of just climb up so open the door and i went hello it's your son you know the one oh so it wasn't like she was having a conversation on the phone and she's like uh i need to know what flowers to get for sandra and then you walk up and you're like i think she likes roses and then she turns around and it's like my son you're supposed to

be on the other side of the planet i thought you were dead to me they said you would be dead by 25 but no i rolled up it was very sweet that's awesome we shared a hug and we got to hang out all week which was nice but one thing took me by surprise javis with this bizarre bizarre political conversation that i had the reason i keep dragging us back to that is because i'm actually pretty fucking anxious about it okay i'm kind of anxious to talk about it because uh yeah because i was trying to paint the picture i wanted to build a grand narrative and i wanted to build a grand narrative yeah i just i can't stop thinking about it and um I I chatted to the to the person in question and they're fine with me talking about it and sharing the story without too much context but this is a friend of mine that I had for

I'd still have still a friend of mine of course um but had been a friend of mine for many years at this point had known them all the way through school they went to one of my improv shows so I've got to assume they have great taste they went to one of my improv shows, so I've got to assume they have great taste. They went to one of your improv shows, and they, man, they hated it. But we all did. I mean, I don't want to get into it right now, but... Well, but do. Tell me point by point what you didn't like.

Sorry, let's put down the mics. I have a presentation. You're crying. Oh, Jesus. Well, you didn't have to tell it to me like that. With that many visual aids. How did you even get those photographs so yeah we've been friends for a long time and uh when i popped back i went up to also surprise him and we were hanging out and getting lunch and having just kind of a nice chat and without getting into too much detail because i don't really want this

episode to be about our political alignments i don't think that's like as important as the fact that there was a conflict, right? Yeah, totally. I don't want to expose his political alignments, nor in this episode do I need to talk about mine too much. But suffice it to say that I'm pretty liberal, and he espoused a few conservative values. And for the first time in my life i had this and these are like radical conservative these aren't like these aren't like uh uh laissez-faire like free market

uh trickle-down economics type type conservative beliefs sure yeah i think i i'll abstain from saying the exact beliefs themselves but i think that's the perfect terminology right fairly radical fairly out there um not a of a unanimous stance like does not align with a few of the things that would be like complete game overs like i would never talk to that kind of person again just just just things that you associate with that side of the fence more than you'd associate it with ours and as a result i for the first time in my life i ended up having this extended conversation with somebody that i adamantly disagreed with right that was from my past yes which was the most bizarre experience because it wasn't only that we were having a conversation uh with with perspectives

that shifted over time we never talked about politics it had just never come up right right you know we were fairly young when we got to know each other it wasn't a thing that was a front of mind we grew up in the same town so i guess we just assumed our political alignment was the same and then as it developed all of a sudden we realized oh wow we have drifted apart in this way um i think it was very fortunate that we were able to maintain the friendship regardless because we sort of just acknowledged it and actively discussed it and as a result we're able to kind of put a pin in it instead of allowing it to fester and yeah yeah my asthma around the restaurant very adult um yeah i was very

surprised that i was able to yeah i'm a stinky baby but this like this feeling of of finding out that someone who felt the same as you like like same background grew up together shared a lot of the same experiences yeah i mean a huge portion of our friendship was built on loving all of the same pop culture yeah watching the same youtube videos same tv series that kind of stuff having like a mirror image version of yourself yeah and then one day finding out that you misalign in this fundamental way and yeah and not to even focus too much on the political stuff i think the most jarring thing to me was how unaware i was right which more than anything else made me start questioning uh my network here in San Francisco,

and not such like a scrutinous way, but in a more skeptical way. Now, when I walked in, you did hold me at gunpoint and ask me a lot of political leadings. Yes, and fortunately, you're so dumb, you did not know anything. I'm okay having a stupid friend.

I voted for the present mint voted for my favorite president i voted for combless yeah you you voted uh in the ballot you ticked a box that you wrote in yourself with crayon that just read president yeah i wrote i've yeah i voted for president that's what you're supposed to do you're supposed to vote for president ta-da yeah and then again we have another president. Yeah, yeah, it's like, I'm doing my civic duty. You're welcome. Yeah. I mean, that's not wrong. Yeah. Because you could vote for, like, monarchy.

Yeah. As I do every year. Yeah, I mean. In America. I think I was very fortunate in the fact that this particular conversation was allowed to be a conversation. Right. Like, when we typically talk about Thanksgiving dinner confrontations, the thing we're really talking about is, like shit uncle steve just dropped like he said colored and nobody's gonna talk about it yeah and now we have to move on yeah and the other thing about that is

that there is like a power dynamic where it almost feels like yeah being a younger person or one of the newly minted adults you don't have the platform to challenge. Um, and, and, or, or like you're being ganged up on if you'd like voice a dissenting opinion. So, um, having the space to have a conversation is, is, is like a breath of fresh air. Yeah. Especially if he, as we said, this is effectively a childhood parallel. Like this is somebody who grew up in very similar spaces to me, liking the same things, doing the same things and getting to see that uh getting to interact with kind of like the renegade path version of yourself yeah that's true it's pretty surreal it's like you jordan with a mustache like bust into the room and it's like surprise i think twizzling it with a top hat

i think black people and white people are different. And it's like, but we're both, both. Okay. And you're what? What's your point? Interesting point.

Backs away slowly until next time. Good Jordan. Until next time. Woke Jordan. Yeah. It's like, it's like your evil twin except for uh by virtue of your identity but he can't have a he can't not contradict himself with his beliefs i think black people are dumb well since you are black you are dumb which means holding that opinion might not have any uh gravitas well played brother

well well see you next time he jumps through the window this is your 18th 18th story and it's your apartment you invited me around for thanksgiving when you interact next with this friend do you think there is going to be any friction is this going to be like an elephant in the room or do you think that the fact that you've put a pin in it is enough you know so so i guess the the prestige to this whole story you know the the resolution is that he very kindly and i should mention like the actual debate itself ended relatively amicably but there was certainly a level of tension in the air because you can't have like a four-hour discussion in a cafe right and then just seamlessly exit right there's always going to be that left fortunately and very bravely on his part shout

out to the man himself he invited me around a few mornings later the the morning that i was actually leaving for the airport and uh he invited me around and we just hung out for like an hour played some video games okay had a hug uh and like apologized to each other for like some of the not necessarily the beliefs or the perspectives but rather the discourse and ways that we screwed up there maybe things that we said or ways we that we phrased it this turned into a disney channel movie yeah it was it was very wholesome and then my evil twin brother came back and he also learned a lesson still racist but uh he's nice now next time i'll vote for a different present mint uh but yeah overall it resolvedly, which I think sets me up for, you know, continued friendship feels very comfortable. But the thing that didn't resolve in my mind, and which I'm glad didn't resolve, because it feels but i'm sure that there's like a pretty significant political difference between the two of us right maybe in like our

beliefs around parenting or our beliefs around who we would vote for in different situations totally totally how do we how do you suss that out if you like want to try that interrogation or try interrogating that a little more or at least being aware of it right yeah i mean i would say the trick the hard part is figuring out what area it is after that with enough interrogation and enough of a discourse you can eventually stumble across it but i don't know i think it's safe to say that we don't have any hard conflicting opinions on like racial bias for example like that's a pretty easy place to settle down we both believe that black people are inherently better. Yeah, it's true. It's true. We're black supremacists.

I've never heard that phrase before. Wow. Yeah, that was bizarre. Yeah, that was cool. Sorry, that means that we're black people that shop at Supreme. Well, no, no, no. But here's the thing is we are both black and white supremacists. We're both both.

We honestly think they're both great. Yeah, we're mixed white supremacists. We're both, but we think we honestly think they're both great. Yeah. We're mixed race supremacists. Yes. It raises, if you love everything a lot. Yeah. Yes.

Yeah, definitely. So yeah, that was my experience with my good buddy. When I went back to the UK, fortunately, my only experience like that today and my only experience in my only buddy for now, your only experience like that today and my only experience in the UK. Fortunately, my only buddy.

For now. Your only buddy for now. I hope one day to have more buddies. But yeah, that was my conversation with my good buddy. And fortunately, I had no other conversations like that while I was there. While it was a growing experience, I think I'm good. I don't think I need any more of those. think i've had like the growth to be more more more cautious around my my developments and the way that i talk about political discourse with

friends uh young jot yes you mon frere had a similar experience yeah and i it came at like in the middle of a dinner conversation where oh that's classic yeah well yeah i guess that is classic it wasn't thanksgiving but it was just like regular old dinner i was just giving i was eating dinner with some friends uh and this is somebody i've known since they were like a little kid it was like a a younger brother of one of my friends right right and how much younger if you don't mind me asking uh like five years. And I'm just wondering if in this case, whether the age differential is a part of the pretty

big, I think it's like four. This person's a little bit younger than you. Yeah. They're, they're, they're like, um, they were like a little kid when I was like an adolescent, you know, like, uh, like when I was in middle school, they were like still in elementary school and stuff or like middle of middle of elementary school i i made this unnecessarily confusing they were like five years younger which is a big difference to children yeah that's a couple of generations yeah yeah yeah uh it's the difference between a seven-year-old and a 13-year-old that

is well that's 12 i don't know math okay i'm not literate and i can't do math i'm not literate and i can't do math. I'm not literate and I can't do math. What's the word for not knowing math? Literate? Wait, shit, what is the word? I don't know. Me? Jarvis.

So essentially, like in the middle of dinner, we hit up on this like huge ethics discussion of, in the middle of dinner, we hit on this like current hot button issue, like between conservative and and liberal politics today. Except are there any of those? Yeah, except for the like the fundamental conceit is that a certain group of people have something wrong with them. Oh, OK. Yeah, yeah, yeah. conceit is that a certain group of people have something wrong with them oh okay yeah yeah uh uh and and it's like it's real i yeah i'm just like not comfortable talking about the intricacies here because i'm not trying to out anybody but it was a strange experience because you had like

everybody at the table who was not ganging up on this person but trying to help them see why their logic wasn't completely this is the rest of the family presumably yeah this is the rest of the the family and they were you know it's like everyone like loves this person and wanted to give as much patience and time and like avoid that they're like oh no let's not bring up the subject because they get pretty heated about the subject. And they're still like a kid, they're like, you know, 20, I think. And so they have like these really deep seated opinions and it's like, where did you get these? Who told you these things? And it was super, and it didn't really resolve. It was kind of just like, well, I mean, I got pretty heated and like, yeah, so I was just trying to like walk through history of America and of power structures and how

underrepresented groups have been kind of persecuted by overrepresented groups, like historically. It's all up in the history books. Like this is not news, you know? Sure. And how that type of systemic persecution can cause echoing effects throughout a generation and throughout a culture. And the other person was kind of just like

taking it as if everyone had an even start from the beginning. Right, yeah. You know what I mean? No, this is sounding very familiar. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they seemed receptive. I think I'm someone who they respected, respect their opinions. So I felt like my words had some gravity and I felt like I was getting to them. But at the end of the day, I, we just kind of shoveled it under the, under the rug. Well, that's the tricky thing,

right? did you feel like you could have done a better job and obviously i don't know this person i don't know how adamant they were or how you were or like even what the the conversation was but do you think that the forum hurt or helped the fact that you had the family around um i think it's a comment i think it averaged out i think the uh it's hard to take i think it's hard to take your family's opinions at face value and not pepper them with this is my family so sure yeah i don't know anything you know like they never got me before they don't get me now it's a bunch of old times yeah yeah and um and so i think that that didn't help my argument a little bit um who started it i don't remember i just remember that

like a term got brought up and then like somebody reacted like oh don't mention that because this person has a crazy opinion about it and then and then was like, well, now I have to know. And then we got there. And then we had the discussion. And then it was fine. And we still had a good. We still hung out the rest of the week. Because that's the most uncomfortable thing about this.

It's like these people are like family. And you can't just let go. Because you have so much. You've already invested so much money. Sure, yeah. In the company of your friendship. And then the CEO is going a little wacky and you're like,

I can't install a new CEO. I think I've got to just go, I'm a board member, I've got to go talk to them and try and set them on the straight and narrow, but they're going to go do their wacky thing. And I just hope that they care enough about my opinion to take it

that chips away a little bit at how sure of themselves they were because you have basically no recourse you can either never talk about it again or you can try and resolve it and if you can't resolve it then you can never talk about it again yeah it's tough I'm really curious to see

if it'll ever come up again I think it's something I will check up on when I like text friends back home, be like, hey, this still a thing? There's a soul going on. Was he right? He's Elvis. But. Speaking on like the specific experience,

I guess avoiding the specific experience, instead of just talking about like the general thematic experience did you find that you yourself were decent in that conversation did you feel like your discourse your communication style was like effective or do you like me find that i just hit like a satiation point uh or like i i don't know i run out of steam almost and then my tact falls away but my passion stays. Yeah. Cause at that point I would have said like of the four hour discussion that I had one and a half maybe was pretty impactful. And then it was like two and a half hours of me just spinning my wheels of rage. Yeah. I think what happened, uh, was every time there would be a point, I would like try to walk back the point to like, like where that viewpoint comes from and why that

is the status quo in the first place. Ultimately to say that to introduce a lot of these concepts, because you do have to like, if someone just assumes that everyone, if people just start off at the same place in life and go forth and it's a meritocracy through and through um you have to introduce some fundamental concepts like throughout your own dialogue and throughout your argument so there is a bit of that there is a certain point where they like contradicted themselves and like everyone at the table like yelled it is or something like that it was like it's like yeah that's the thing like you say like uh it's like what yeah, that's the thing. Like you say, like, it's like, what? So you're telling me like, not everybody like starts off with the same stuff.

And it's like, yes, that's what we're saying. And so there was like a little bit of that where we got passionate and a little bit of like, whenever the person would like jump back to talking points, it would like be frustrating for everybody. Cause it's like, how do you penetrate this? It just feels like you're talking to a wall because they're not listening to what you're saying they're just responding back with like a canned line yeah a soundbite yeah yeah soundbite dude i'm having a bit of a conflict right now because i'm trying to decide whether i have the faculties to acknowledge this if it

happened to me like if i was in a room with five other people and one of them just said uh actually according to this series of extremely well-backed and cited studies that barack obama was actually born in kenya yeah would is there any world where i mean obviously i try and do the it's right now i think that's an insane thought and it's definitely not the case but if i was surrounded by five other people but i believed as strongly in that thing as i do that Obviously, I try and do the, it's, right now I think that's an insane thought, and it's definitely not the case. But if I was surrounded by five other people, but I believed as strongly in that thing as I do that Barack Obama was born in Hawaii. Yeah. What do I do?

Or that the world is flat, right? Yeah, which it is. I mean. Right? We're taking a stance here today, folks. We stand with bob we stand with with with bobby ray bob the the famous rapper asterisk from 2010 i would say at this point rapper part-time full-time flat earther full-time flat earther social media flatter check out his quiz i think i have a lot of stories of very embarrassing oh you didn't know this thing about pop culture or you screwed

up like this reference to a thing but the only example those happen to me all the time just dozens and that happened to me today i messed up michelle branch and vanessa carlton i'm very curious as to how those two people came up in the same conversation uh because they have very similar pop songs from the early 2000s one played piano one played guitar and everyone mixes them up and they have a internet rivalry because everyone continues to miss them up to mix them up to this day um because one of them sang a thousand miles and the other one sang oh no i don't know i don't know who it is uh google who is michelle branch siri activate answers everywhere the song that was like and that was to me when i close my eyes it's you i see i feel foreign oh no i don't know oh yeah this is from

the early 2000s well you could have fooled me either way you could have said either name i wouldn't know yeah that trust me people mix them up but anyway uh no lyrics lyric any songs lyrics and artists are the most embarrassing space the only memory i really have of getting like actively challenged on something in recent memory as an adult and something that was like impactful was um oh i'm kind of ashamed of this because because it's i'm not ashamed that i believed it right because it was something that it was just a lack of education and i I'm proud that once I was corrected, I immediately changed the thing I was saying.

Right, right, right. Um, but when I was, uh, in my, in my second year of college,

uh, I started doing a gender and representation courses. It was like a module in my film course. Right. And during that course, I was basically introduced to the idea of, uh, transgender and transsexual terminology.

Right. I mean, you know, I had broad terms in my mind. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I wasn't sure if certain terms were still okay. It's just not something I've interacted with. Totally. And then all of a sudden, somebody actively calls me out for tranny. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And in retrospect, of course, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's so, like, diminutive. Totally, totally. Like, blighty, you know what i mean it's just it's clearly insultingly playful and has a lot of really negative connotations because people have used it in environments that are it's all it's all in the connotation it's all like how it was it's all the history of the words that's exactly what i mean and and unfortunately because

i was in college i was skeptical when people corrected me oh yeah come on really the the world isn't exactly what i think it is and i'm wrong about something yeah nice try i'm 19 and i figured it out yeah you know um and hopefully i don't believe since that i've ever had that kind of interaction and within like you know 20 minutes of talking about it i was on base yeah but if anybody else has experiences like that hit hit us up at sadboyspod, DM privately, or message publicly. Yeah, we've got DMs on. You can reach out to us privately if you don't want to do it publicly. If you want to shout from the rooftops that Sad Boys is the best pod, or even just one of the best pods, I'll take that.

Find a roof. And you know what they told me is kind of like a roof yeah uh is itunes podcast reviews who um who told you that um his name rhymed with uh uh leaves bobs oh you meant creep knobs yeah yeah creep oh yeah knobs the roof salesman the roof salesman creep knobs get your roofs get your roofs what a slogan get product get your roof hey i'm product buy this i sell this thing get your service here but if you do want to give us 19's review how do they do it jarvis and which one they should they give us they should give us a five star review and they can write any words that they want now i can tell people are probably panicking unfortunately five

star is the highest it goes as far as we know we've attempted to give it six uh we've talked to creep bobs about it he's unable to help creep creep bobs get your roofs um that's a he we're contractually have to call him oh sorry it's italics after his name um no but here's here's a fun thing if you leave us a five star itunes review and talk about a feeling that you felt recently that'll be our feeling of the week on our next pot oh my god and also we will have to feel whatever that feeling is every day for the preceding week yeah it's this weird deal with creep bobs that we had uh please don't screw us on this don't don't don't give us something dangerous yeah don't give us a dangerous feeling because we're gonna have to live with that one

somebody wrote wrathful all right well i have to kill all my rivals. It's about time. Dang. I'm back. We're both dead. Why did I kill myself? That doesn't, that doesn't achieve anything. We do have fun.

We do have fun. Young Jarvis. Thanks for taking this little journey on with me. Thanks for taking this little journey on with me. Thanks for taking this little journey on with me. Thanks for taking your journey on me. Yeah, thanks for helping me address something that's been bothering me and actually still is kind of rubbing me a little bit. I'm going to have to chew on it a little bit more.

No, that's me rubbing you. Sorry. Sorry. Oh, Jesus. Sharp fingernails. Yeah. But yeah, I'm going to keep chewing on it. Hopefully I can come back one day and say hey i don't this doesn't concern me anymore i feel like i can actively ask people about their political persuasions without getting a little weird and getting angry in a cafe i mean let me know if you figure out how to do that because i still have no idea that shit fucking

life hack if anybody's got the tips feel free to tweet us up and sad boys like find my apartment i need to see you in person please explain to me how you have a political conversation with somebody you don't align with politely. I would love to know. All right. And as is always custom on sad boys. As is custom in the land of old, blighty, aka sad boys. We love you. And we're really, really sorry for having that angry political conversation.

Boom.