Sad Boyz - Cleaning House

Episode Date: December 31, 2017

In preparation for 2018, the boyz clean house. We get really vulnerable about where our mental health has been at lately, Jordan has an apology to the listeners, we talk about how the show has changed our relationship with eachother and finally and we discuss our new years resolutions for the pod. It wouldn't be Sad Boyz without some banter on obtuse subjects, so we also spend time talking about stand up comedy, how neither of us has seen Seinfeld, and we laugh so hard we cry @sadboyzpod

G'day mate, my name is Jordan Cope and I'm from the UK. You should go on over to at Sadboy's pod to talk to your favourite Sadboy at Jarvis. He's the best, but also I'm dumb and stupid. Alright Jarvis, are you just working on the mic? Oh, hey. Sorry. Why are the mics on the mic? Oh, hey. Sorry. Why are the mics on? I was warming them up.

We're not recording until Saturday. Why are you here right now? They shrink in the winter. Sorry, my Uber's here. I have to go. Weird. Okay. Anyway, I mean,

since the mics was on, maybe I should... Well, howdy. It's me. Okay. Anyway, I mean, since the mics was on, maybe I should... Well, howdy! It's me! Sorry, I left my iPhone charger. Hey, dude. Okay, yeah, sure. Take it away. Anyway, see you next week? Yeah, see you next week for the next episode. Bye.

Welcome to The Sad Boys, a podcast about feelings and other things also. I'm Jarvis. And I'm Jordan Krampus-Kope. It's a holiday episode perfect segue it is yeah i kind of i guess right when does this come out roughly this is gonna come out right before new year's yeah that's festive right it's festive it's currently christmas eve it is we're spending christmas eve together me on my bed you on my floor uh you didn't have to tell him like a peon i'm actually uh uh jordan has has given me his bed and he's he's lofted it high up to the ceiling carrying it on my back like atlas and i i'm yet to shrug oh yeah so yeah uh jordan this is actually jordan's recording from below the bed

where he's holding up my weight and the weight of the bed i we've never had uh fan art i guess but if we were to start generating a little bit of fan art if there's any uh artistically abilitied bad sentence if there's any uh artistically skilled people out there um please do a drawing of me carrying a bed with jarvis on it like a roman emperor but what if they're artistically ability oh my god if your artistic abilities run that's like being an x-man you're not allowed to have those abilities uh so on today's episode we talk about vulnerability and we also talk about the unintuitive benefits of cleaning house both literally and figuratively yeah i mean we'll expand on it but the basic idea is that not only is it really healthy for your personal development and mental state to clean your space and nest and be

comfortable in your in your natural environment but it's also just very healthy to audit your emotional state to say what are the things that are bothering me what are the things that are getting me down right now and what the fuck can i do about them which we will do and we'll also talk about what's been up with us mental health wise hell yeah this is this is christmas eve jordan and jarvis for sure oh yeah we're hanging out we're festiving we're festive it's festivus for the rest of us i don't even know what that's from that's from seinfeld right uh sure uh my secret i mean we could get this into this an entirely separate other episode my secret comedy nerd shame is that I've absorbed approximately eight minutes of Seinfeld in my entire life. I've tried to watch it a number of times.

But it's like black people didn't watch Seinfeld. Because of the law. Let's get sad. Let's get sad. Let's get mad. Let's get boys. Let's get sad. Let's get mad. Let's get boys. Let's get boys. Actually, the amount of time we spend doing Jerry Seinfeld voice versus the amount of time we spend watching the show is way out of whack. I've seen a number of Seinfeld episodes, but I haven't seen the entirety.

And as a result, I've not seen that much Curb, and not really in the in the zeitgeist of the of the seinfeld fan see that's the thing i've actually watched a pretty significant amount of curb your enthusiasm and i wonder if i'm missing like uh dimension right like are there references that i'm not cottoning onto yeah like seinfeld is important and it's occasionally referenced but i'm all i'm getting from curb is sometimes it's hard to be white yeah i mean so uh you're missing the word too sometimes it's hard to be white too oh and sometimes it's also hard to be white yeah i mean so uh you're missing the word too sometimes it's hard to be white too oh and sometimes it's also hard to be white and rich and old i forgot two sometimes it's hard to be too old sometimes it's hard to be old and white and rich and influential

and uh having benefited from a number of power structures to be fair though jarvis it is really annoying when they get your name wrong on a cup at starbucks that is very frustrating no that's a fresh take that i've never heard before dude honestly i got a type 5 on airplanes it's gonna blow your mind oh my god that would be great if nobody's ever heard of seinfeld the guy you've got so much material you can steal that's great also like um if i'd like maybe just been on an airplane and had never gotten anyone else's opinions on food on that you are not a fan of stand-up or pop culture and you just flew for the first time i am gonna crack you up yeah wow just imagine being a fan of stand-up for the first time oh my god that's probably not that uncommon

right a lot of people probably discovered stand-up via louis that's oh interesting common i i would actually think that it more kevin hart and uh yeah good point like russell peters and um uh gabriel iglesias god that's funny isn't it it's so funny that i it's a different strategy mainstream comedian i went for like the fourth most popular comedian and also not a great talking point yeah but like the fourth most popular mainstream comedian he's there are far more popular yeah i actually think it's kind of cool that um kevin hart is as big as he is because even if i don't like i'm not a like a huge fan of his work it he is like well respected yeah in the in the community and it's like people see his comedy as like really solid and it's not like selling out or anything like that or it's not

like cheap cheap comedy or anything while i don't connect with a lot of his material he's objectively a good performer oh absolutely compelling he's commanding he's got a lot of natural charisma uh the thing that's always blocked me with kevin hart has always just been that the reference points don't go deep enough oh i've watched two of his specials and each time i was like oh i can tell you right on the precipice of something really insightful but yeah we're just gonna scrape the surface and move on yeah and it's like he doesn't i don't even know that he wants to make like chris rock wants to make that connection that a to c where he's like and here is how i turn it on society and and it's this beautiful like dance like and and kevin hart i think like is is you know he's hustling the jokes and like it doesn't

have to get that deep and it's yeah and i shouldn't hold him to that expectation yeah no his art i don't get to tell no but i i think that that's like your own taste that you're entitled to right yeah and like i'm i'm similar right like i like the a to c to be connected which is why i compare like chris rock to kevin hart in this example because chris rock is someone who like is um just like a different type of joke i i think it's what's really cool is that even at the highest points of success you have a lot of different you have a lot of different perspectives on performing and a lot of different like workflows. Like you've got Chappelle who like works it all out on stage. Like he like just goes up and like does stuff. And then like he turns his improvisation into

like his written standup. And you have Chris rock who like writes everything to the t and like has like the choreography of like how he walks on stage that syncs up to like the words and like the script and the argument like he thinks of it like a legal argument there there are as clear distinctions that there are amongst genre in film right yeah like saying that they're both stand-up comedians is minimizing in a way absolutely there's so much process behind it um one thing just since we're talking about this and we should do an episode on stand-up comedians is minimizing in a way absolutely there's so much process behind it um one thing just since we're talking about this and we should do an episode on stand-up comedians because that would be so fun yeah yeah yeah it totally would be especially with somebody that potentially has different tastes not dramatically but maybe uh is a fan of a stand-up we don't know

much about or can bring an alternative perspective because by god it's a very subjective topic you know comedy's a nightmare yeah but comedy's a nightmare subjective topic. You know, comedy is a nightmare. Yeah. But comedy is a nightmare. Sad boys. Sad boys colon a nightmare. Absolute nightmare. But one thing that I really like, and maybe I'm not seeing enough stand-up, enough fresh stand-up, maybe my perspective is skewed.

Right. One thing I really like about the way that modern stand-up comedy is skewing is that it's trending away from hate in a really, really positive way. Yeah. Not exclusive from hate. a really really positive way yeah not exclusive from hate there's plenty of hateful stand-up yeah but i would say you know the top five most contemporarily popular stand-up comedians for the most part are mainstream popular because they're not too blue they talk mostly about relatively relatable topics yeah whereas like i mean we've talked at length about eddie murphy raw yeah oh my god like it's impossible to watch we should explain what that is for

all of the children listening so because we're 100 years old now yeah yeah yeah so i mean eddie murphy before he was known as a a family like movie actor and then turned like i think he's just like not around anymore well he was turned into donkey from shrek okay i see it's for the movie yeah he played the role of donkey in shrek and prior to that like the career that he lived in his 20s like when he was on snl he was like one of the maybe the youngest person on snl quite possibly at that point maybe before pete davidson or even like pete davidson was the youngest since eddie murphy and he was the biggest stand-up comedian yeah by a significant margin he was like the big

stand-up comedian and he was like 22 years old and he was like a freaking comet like he was he was the biggest thing and it was also at this point i mean roar is post uh beverly hills cop okay so he he's not only an incredibly successful comedian but he's basically the the And was also at this point, I mean, Roar is post Beverly Hills Cop. Okay, yeah, I think so. So he's not only an incredibly successful comedian, but he's basically the pre-nucleus Kevin Hart. Right. He's this dude that can do feature films, sold out comedy specials, and also be just a general celebrity personality. And he's doing, you know, SNL where he's like the best person on SNL also. So he's like encompassing every part

of the venn diagram yeah how can you possibly be doing this exactly what's very unfortunate about that like partially the time partially like eddie murphy is like a youth and and you're like 22 that's fair you're right no you're absolutely right i was giving him a pass and just sheer ignorance and like it's like ignorance combined with fact that like no one told him no at the time because we were at a different point in society it was like the 80s and so he's just all leading to a stand-up special he did called eddie murphy colon raw yeah which is i think at the time, was well received. And it does not age well because a lot of it is this angry, mean type of comedy that punches down at the gay community and among other things, to be honest, about mental health.

It basically punches down on every about like little people basically every possible group that you could offend he offends in the worst way by this like very mean punching down yeah for like a contemporary example uh it would be like the kind of comedy elicited in a lot of uh adult swim shows now without the implicit irony oh yeah just aren't gay people weird that's the joke yeah that's where the joke yeah and that's and it's just like using all the and yeah it's like using all the slurs and oh my god yeah it's just like yeah it's it's horrible and it's wild to think about that because this this was eddie murphy at the height and like that was a huge special for him too was it like

hbo or something and to date by far his largest special yeah yeah and it's a possibly i would i mean i have no data behind this but i would say one of the largest african-american comedy specials maybe ever yeah i i think i think it is but i think ke Kevin Hart has done a bunch of almost performatively huge things. Where it's like, you know what? What if I did comedy at a football stadium? That's the thing. One of his specials. He has a million at this point.

And yeah, he did one at a football stadium. I think comedy would be best projected onto the earth. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, Kevin Hart is going to be the one who's like, stadium i think comedy would be best projected onto the earth yeah yeah no kevin hart is gonna be yeah is gonna be the one who's like all right well i've run out of earthlings you can see my comedy this elon guy has got some ideas can you project me onto mars kevin hart is the first performer to sell out you thought that rover was curious before i mean just show them kevin hart special i don't know man anyway this is the stand-up boys stand boys so the stand boys dad boys uh but enough about enough about that jordan how about

uh wildly outrageous stand-up of the 80s and 90s yeah and our incredibly niche opinions on them and how everybody should listen to us yeah because this is what everyone wants to hear. Everybody wants to hear two poorly contextualized opinions on stand-up and comedy. How's your week? My week has been very positive. Okay. I was a little sick earlier in the week, but being sick all week meant that

as soon as I got healthy, I got in that active cleaning mode. And two big things happened, Jarvis. Whoa! One, I got a cat. What what i got a little kitty cat that's what that was yeah that's not my daughter i thought it was a small bear unconfirmed so far i've sent the tests off to ancestry.com fingers crossed and now i have a cat called diva hold on sorry what you said no follow-up questions required and we're moving on to the next your cat's information to humanancestrywebsiteancestry.com?

I didn't see that anywhere on the website. Okay. This is like Air Bud rules. Nowhere on the website does it say that it can't tell you where a cat is from. Right, that's fair, that's fair. It's like nowhere in the basketball rules does it say a dog can't play basketball. I believe it says nowhere in the rules does it say that Air Bud can't play. It doesn't contextualize what Air Bud is it's an air bud tm

this is like the the freaking senate like tax bill where they like sneak in random addendums and it's like what's this weird air bud clause and a dog in a magistrate's wig. Just goes like, oh, I don't know. Ignore that. You got a cat. I got a little kitty cat. Her name is Diva. She will be in the episode artwork for this photo, possibly replacing me. Because the read I got so far is that she might actually be more appropriate for the show.

Weirdly, though, Diva looks exactly like a cartoon version of you. Yeah, it's nice. So you might not notice the the change in the album artwork because diva looks so specifically like a cartoon version you know i feel bad that we're even mentioning because i feel like only true fans would notice it and then when they shout it out we can send them some merch or some shit because oh honestly it's borderline identical yeah well i'll have to edit this out but if anybody hits me with a dm i'll definitely send them merch that exists there's actually um diva in many senses she's a black and white cat

that's kind of mean which is like the three main entities that make me oh i see oh i get it yeah you're black and you're white and you're kind of mean but i also thought that's every cat she's a color and also she's mean. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was like, is there a cat that isn't those things? Dude, I recently had a... So I was always traditionally a dog person. Right.

And I was discussing the idea of getting a dog and people very reasonably were like... And then you did a hundred good deeds and a wizard turned you into a human. I went to a basketball game and they wouldn't allow me to play. They said I had to be a dog now. Right.

But the... You're Air Bud, but you're 6'3 and black. Your name is just Air Bud. A regular human being can play basketball. You just changed your name to Air Bud. But one of the main things that I came away with after doing a little bit of do I get a cat, do I get a dog research was, okay, I'm clearly not home enough to have a dog right but some people were also really skeptical about me getting a cat their description being hey it's just a nice roommate that doesn't really talk to you to which i said sick yeah okay do they pay rent like what's the deal here turns out big no

on that one okay feeling a little screwed over there that's unfortunate she's been great she's been here uh one full day so far uh she was a little bit fussy last night a little bit of meowing but outside of that she's been a charmer she loves jarvis uh hasn't touched him yet but visually i can tell yeah we lock eyes from across the room she's got crack eyes 100 of the time which is fine she has straight up crack eyes that's how she was described to me uh before i picked her up and it's how she looks 100 of the time uh wait yeah perfectly circular pupils okay so walk me through that they're like uh yeah we'd love you to see the cat here's the thing yeah crack eyes huh yeah like like did you go oh i know what that means i well i was on crack at the time so i was like my eyes you we were FaceTiming, so I was very confused.

She's been great. She's settling in really well. That's fantastic. The second thing that happened this week, Jarvis. What was that? Huh? Oh my, there's something in the sky. It's a bird.

Flying in. It's a plane. It's... No, you were right. It was a bird. Okay. Ow! It bit me, but it left a mark reading.

Do birds even bite? Shut up, Jarvis. They don't have teeth. This one did, and it could talk, and it told me that I'm doing a new segment. Oh. I have a new segment for the show, Jarvis. Oh, perfect. It's a new little segment. It's basically the same thing I do every single week, but I've decided to formalize it.

Jordan Special Space? Jordan Special Space has been retired because I was sued hundreds of times for the name. The Special Space was apparently too intimate, so I've gone for something a little bit more obscure. I see. Today we're going to kick off the very first episode of a podcast within this podcast called Jordan's Bizarre, Challenging, and Emotionally Strenuous Social Interaction of the Week. I'm a fan. Because by God, I have plenty, and it's about time I started doing something positive. Yeah, no, I'd love to hear the chronicles of your social interactions.

The chronicles of awkward Narnia. And of course, we welcome guests. You're more than welcome to come on this show inside of Sad Boys. Oh, I see. Talk about your awkward situations. There's a separate, yeah, it's a full separate show. This one costs money. Oh, okay.

If you're listening to this and you have your iTunes account attached, you're getting judged. Don't worry about it. I assume. You're the engineer. You figure it out anyway my awkward and strenuous conversation of the week uh came about when i was walking down market street in san francisco okay um pretty positive day right chilly you know early early winter i've got my coat on i'm feeling positive nothing can go wrong nothing did go wrong but by god did i discover something, Jarvis. What did you discover?

So are you familiar with pamphleteers? Pamphleteers, be it for God or for the rainforest, anything in that environment? Are pamphleteers the people who hand out pamphlets? Correct, yes. Got it. I believe legally you do have to call them pamphleteers. Not to be confused with planeteers, who are the people who summon Captain Planet. Or pamphleters that are able to create pamphlets with their minds. Oh, you're right.

That's true. Yeah, it's a little confusing. So Captain Planet was there with his pamphleteers. Not to be confused with Pam from The Office. Or pamphleteers that are able to be Pam whenever they choose. Right, right, right. They're cursed with a lupine ability to turn into a dog not to be confused with pam for tears which is uh is when you spray the pams why does the listener count say minus one it just keeps going down i

don't know how to make it stop why has that podcast been deleted from itunes why why is the podcast being deleted from my computer right now as we're recording it's surely it's not that bad so yeah there are some pamphleteers i've opened some pamphleteers and fortunately by virtue of being born of uh solid grumpy english irish and kenyan stock black and white and mean black white and mean i find it very easy to say no when pamphleteers start to offer me something right but whenever it's something that i do have a genuine interest to in but i don't actually want to contribute to financially because black white and mean um i tend to get a little bit stuck so if somebody offers me a driver's witness pamphlet it's easy i just go oh no thank you appreciate it uh you guys do a great thing over here in the states where instead of just offering

the pamphlet you have a cavalcade of interesting techniques one of which my personal favorite okay this is yours they point at you and they go this is yours and the percentage of people on like pier 39 mostly tourists right just go like oh thank you for the thing that is mine and then walk away holding you're right this is mine oh free trash i am a joseph's witness and then they go this is yours and it spreads like a zombie disease so i get locked in this conversation with my good friend d'angelo okay wow you know his name and i maybe this is not the right time to tell you my experience with every pamphleteer but i just like look up and then look down and continue walking as if i have am late to something that's a pro move i think natural british politeness dictated that i at least acknowledge them because he was dead in the center and they

they travel in packs these particular ones this right to save something related to the rainforest clearly d'angelo did not do a great job of explaining the mission of this right company that i've also forgotten the name of but um he was out there he's very friendly he was a white man to challenge your assumption listener d'angelo was a white man um while chatting to d'angelo he gave me the details on his thing that i, for the life of me, do not remember. Right. And while standing there, I had the privilege to hear something incredible. You heard something incredible?

Something quite incredible. He's crying. I'm crying. Because one of D'Angelo's friends, I assume, somebody working with him to tell people about D'Angelo. Angelo, D'Angelo, D'Ang c angelo d angelo uh one of his friends was also all 27 of his friends the alphabet of angelo E-Angelo, G-Angelo Fangelo But his good friend C-Angelo, or one of his friends

At least, was handing out pamphlets also And was using a technique that I personally Have never encountered, but was thoroughly Charmed by Which was saying nothing No opening lines, nothing polite Nothing like, hey sir, how's it going? Like offering a hand

hey this is yours right you drop this yeah instead this man stands perfectly still by the side of the sidewalk i started laughing at the time which is why this is getting me right and just says we're actually crying by the way he just it's so stupid i shouldn't find this so funny he points the pamphlet at them face side away so they don't know what it says and said you want this good stuff again and again said multiple times the same person, what was the tone of you want this good stuff? Like, you want this good stuff? Incredibly mundane. You want this good stuff?

I've got some good stuff if you're looking for some. I've got some surplus good stuff. I've got some stuff of a good variety. Offering the pamphlet and just saying, hey, you want this good stuff? You want this good stuff? You want this good stuff? And at one point, two women walked past him who clearly knew him and said, this again? And at one point Two women walked past him Who clearly knew him

And said this again And then walked away What? You couldn't write that I mean by god You know As a I consider myself an entrepreneur

And I respect that hustle But by god Oh my god The funny thing was As soon as he said that Despite already having heard the pitch From one of the Angelos Right

I kind of wanted that good stuff. Maybe he's got something else going on? Unfortunately, I did not ask a follow-up question. But by God, I grew that day. Yeah, it sounds like it. Oh man, and I wanted that good stuff. But speaking of the good stuff, we have a podcast for you. And before we dive into it, Young Jarvis.

That's me. How the hell was your week? You know, it was like pretty busy in a way that is, we'll talk about it in a segment that we're going to get to, but I have a lot of things going on right now and they're all colliding in new and interesting ways that I would have never expected. Like for example, I, so I have ADHD and I recently started taking medication for it. It's very much in the early stages. And I'm in this process with my psychiatrist where I'm just trying stuff out to see how it works with me. And I was trying this medication and it was like mostly unnoticeable.

But I was forgetting. I was like weirdly forgetful in a way that I've like never been forgetful before. So like, uh, I would pour myself a glass of water and like turn on the faucet. And then I would start to walk away from a running faucet. Short term. Yeah. I was like, I'm looking at running water and I'm just like, I have the urge to like get out of there without turning off the faucet. I was like, what is happening to me? And then I had an appointment on like a Wednesday at 10 a.m. And on Thursday at 10 a.m. I go, oh, I was supposed to be somewhere yesterday.

Like it was weird. Strange. Yeah, it was really eerily strange. It sounds like most of the two examples you've given so far seem to be like procedural stuff right like organizing my calendar forgetting to turn the faucet off stuff yeah yeah but was there like a macro version where you just couldn't recall things from your past or was it mostly it was it was mostly like doing the like it was mostly like doing the computations that you'd have to do in your day

to day life we're just like we're mostly fine but then there would be weird lapses like with this like faucet thing and so that's why it was like really hard to tell if it was like related to uh the medication or not but because it was control jarvis just wasn't functioning as normal yeah because it had never happened before that was the only reason i like noticed it i was like i've never walked away from a running faucet before you know that's the kind of thought process where you go like am i walking away from no i wouldn't do that anyway continue walking away yeah yeah yeah super strange um and yeah just is that the same medication you're taking currently no i've started a new one okay um but yeah i just had a ton of like work has been pretty wild. I've had a bunch of

appointments and I've just been going from place to place to place to place. And the problem with that is whenever I feel like I'm running out of time or that I'm strapped for time, I start to excessively like spend money to like make things okay. So like taking like a regular lift instead of like a lift line or something, or like ordering out like five like a regular lift instead of like a lift line or something or like ordering out like five nights a week because i'm like oh i don't have this 30 minutes to spare i need like food to just come and then i can like keep going and doing what i'm doing yeah uh and it is a very destructive like way to live because i tend to, when I get super busy like this, every tertiary thing in my life, things from friends that I want to keep up with to my room's cleanliness,

go to the wayside. I just forget all my relationships with people. I go into a cave. My room stacks up with dirty clothes. I like start to, you know, I don't have time to do laundry. I don't have time to like work out, you know, like all, all that. And it's, it's not fun. Yeah. Sorry. I had so many thoughts that I was struggling to pass them for a second. Sorry about that. I'm sorry. That's been a struggle for you. I guess I don't want to be overly formulaic with the show, but this just feels like such an appropriate segue in what we were going to talk about. Oh, yeah, no, I'm a professional.

I do have a quick follow-up question before we go. Yeah, yeah, yeah, hit me. You specifically referenced the convalescence of work plus thing plus thing equals this version of Jarvis. Right. How much would you attribute that to the medication at the time versus just the way Jarvis is when the pressure is on like is are you ordering takeaway five nights a week when the pressure is on anyway oh yeah totally like this isn't um so the medication was actually

just like a tiny element maybe maybe like one-eighth of a pizza you know like maybe even contributing more to this feeling of overwhelm than actually creating right because the logistics the logistics of, okay, I've got this schedule with this new medication. I need to remember to take it like this and not like that. And you know, like all that. Yeah. It's a slice. And so it was more just another thing. It was like another hobby.

It's like, oh, you also have dance class. That's like, that's what the medication was. So it wasn't really negatively contributing to my life that much. But normally when i get really busy i get like this yeah uh and which is can be destructive right because if you treat yourself that way not only is it harder to get out of that loop but also i mean a big part of it for for both of us i think we've talked about this in the past is that when you get locked in those kind of cycles they are uh it's an Ouroboros, right?

It feeds itself. Oh, yeah. The feeling of being stuck in a rut creates the feeling of being stuck in a rut. Yeah, absolutely. That's putting you in a rut. So, I mean, if you're ordering food every single day of the week,

you get this weird feeling of guilt at the back of your brain. And what that makes you want is immediate gratification. Oh, my God, yeah. And immediate gratification comes from ordering $35 of Burma Love in like a single evening that's exactly what i ordered um so i will say it has a happy ending at least in terms of this week whereas like um it's christmas eve today

uh the past couple days i've uh clean i've like bought some new stuff for my apartment to furnish it i've like cleaned up my room and done all my errands and stuff. I have much more clean, like clear mind. And so that feels good. And I spent a lot of time today at the Neppertanti, which is the bar that I live on top of. I spent most of the day there because the heater doesn't work in my apartment and it is frigid. And so I've just like ate breakfast and dinner at the bar and like hung out with the staff there and like got some work done so that sounds nice

uh yeah yeah so the week was stressful and then it's had a happy ending just just right in time for the holidays it's funny how doing a practical thing which feels like the least intuitively nice thing to do when you're stressed out and overwhelmed can be the meditative thing oh yeah right i was exactly the same this last week we're gonna do an entirely separate episode on mental health uh we have a good friend of ours tyler may who has a very own podcast called mr feels that i highly recommend checking out check it out um that we'll be talking about mental health with um because by god he's smarter than us but the reason we wanted uh the reason i'm referencing that is because i think we both had a tricky mental health week.

I was sick for most of last week, which led to me getting very, I was in bed a lot. Right. Which if you know anything about me, I can get very, I can get cabin fever in like 15 minutes. Oh my God.

Yeah. So I got very, uh, uh, I started getting obsessive about things that objectively I don't care about. Like I would go downstairs and think to myself, Oh, I should do,

I'm like a little shaky. I'm a little feverish, but I could do some chores. I could take the trash out right do my my my laundry and then i would go to myself well i have laundry tabs but i prefer these other laundry tabs do i do i order them on amazon and wait like two but then i won't have the the pants that i want to wear tomorrow like it's just like this stuff that doesn't matter because the micro yeah it costs three dollars to do laundry yeah one tenth of my burma love order that i'm undoubtedly going to make later in the day absolutely shout out to burma love um but but the struggle was its own struggle and it was completely unproductive like it did nothing for me agonizing over that yeah but the problem with when you're when you're agonizing over something

it makes it easier to agonize over other things. Oh, oh, which is totally. Sitting down, doing your taxes, cleaning your apartment, buying new furniture.

Like these are things that feel intuitively, uh, tasky, chorey. Absolutely. So good for you, man. Yeah,

yeah, yeah. I taught it. I re, re, you've seen my living room. I redid my living room this past week and it changed nothing in my life. I barely spend any've seen my living room i redid my living room this week and it changed nothing in my life i barely spent any time in my living room but the fact that i did that made it

feel it made my week feel concrete and successful it's almost like these tiny things that don't feel like they give you immediate value are recharging like your mental faculties and And that's so hard to, it's very similar to like exercise and how like exercise has a measured effect on mental health, but it's really hard to treat it as like a medicine, right? Like it's like, take this pill, it'll make you feel better. You're like, cool. It's like, go outside and walk for 20 minutes. It'll make you feel better, which will inadvertently make you more effective because currently you're not doing anything because you feel like a pile of trash. And it's like, I don't have time to walk 20 minutes. And it's like, you're about to waste six hours in bed. Like that's literally happened to me like this week. I like got in bed at 8 PM, didn't get to bed until 2 AM.

Madness. And just doing absolutely nothing. And I bet you, if i had tried to get out of my head and go do something that's like rote and something that doesn't require my creative brain and just like is a simple task to complete a simple like little mini quest a left brain project yeah i'm i i know that i would have felt better i feel so much better now even though that most of what i've done the past couple days is like clean my apartment. Yeah. There's like instinctual value to fortress building, right?

Yeah. Like nesting. When you feel unstable, what's the number one feeling? Sorry, what's the number one fear that comes from feeling unstable? Oh my God, invaders are going to come. A saber tooth is going to come and eat my baby. Yeah. Well, I'm just going to make my baby safe by building a nicer home yeah i'm gonna make

everything safer internally as in your apartment before i challenge the external which in turn makes your internal your brain healthier making everything external going to the gym hanging out with friends eating healthily it just all feels more available to you like it i my my life so quickly shifts from like being able to do everything to like everything feeling like it's a tire fire like um like today i like when i was like looking at my apartment i was like fuck yeah i did all of this um and i have like you know speaking of nesting i just learned about even the concept of nesting recently i like never heard the term but like i bought a bunch of stuff for my apartment i'm trying to make it like homey i've lived in the same place for three and a half years i never thought about making it homey before

people have told me that my room looks like a prison cell and I'm now finally because of the god yeah that's because of the steel bars that have on the door because of my parole um but yeah like when I was walking through my apartment I was like you know what and I also have the urge to floss and I also have the urge to like go on a run and I also have the urge to like do on a run and i also have the urge to like do this creative work that i didn't think i had before yeah it is so hard so deceptively hard to quantify the amount of like mental energy points that you gain by taking care of yourself which of course right it's not it's so obvious it turns out the number of times that we only you and me yes let's discount all the other people that we talk to about this kind of thing we talk to each

other every day yeah but on average about three times a week one of us will say to the other hey have you noticed how if you just do x y happens like oh my oh common one we've been throwing out is shit i just went for brunch with a friend or i just like hung out with jarvis for an hour yeah and it made me feel fulfilled and hopeful and positive and it cost no money and it was really easy to set up because we live in the same city but i agonized over which place to get brunch at for two hours oh my god i just shouldn't have we should have just gone for a walk the number of times that we communicate that despite the fact that it doesn't really seem to be locking itself into long-term memory. Well, it's interesting.

Like, well, yeah, it does happen a lot, but I do think we're making progress partially because of the show, partially because, you know, we're getting, you know, we're becoming like more comfortable with each other. And we're like more able to sort of call each other out on their shit and like say what's really on our mind without worrying like am i going to like hurt this relationship that is budding with this person it's like i pretty much feel like i can just tell you how i feel and these very simple affirmations are so effective, and unintuitively so.

Yeah. And now, a very special presentation from Inside the Actors Studio. Hi. I'm Tony Award-winning playwright Lin-Manuel Miranda, and I play Jordan Cope on the podcast. And I'm 45,000-time Academy Award winner Meryl Streep. And we're here today to talk to you about something very close to our hearts. Yes. Because despite the fact that our podcast, Sad Boys, generates over $400,000 per episode, we're always looking for new iTunes reviews. Leaving us an iTunes review is the most impactful way that you can support the Sad Boys

in 2018. You're're absolutely right actress of a generation merrill streep an itunes review is truly the highest compliment you can pass just leave us a five-star review tell us about your experience share your feelings when you listen to the podcast and we really can't emphasize that it does need to be a five-star review to really matter if it's less than five stars you will no longer be able to hear Hamilton. And you will no longer be able to perceive any of the work by perhaps the most preeminent creator of our generation,

Meryl Streep. Thank you for your time. This has been a very special presentation. Now back to your regularly scheduled programming. Now at this point, if for whatever reason somebody is still listening to the show, they've probably thought to themselves,

wow, they haven't mentioned the name of the topic yet. Ah. And that's because I think this is a slightly more freeform episode because the topic itself is a little bit more open than usual. It's true. We each have specific things we want to talk about, but today we're specifically talking about, as an overview, vulnerability. Yes. Which, one of the broadest topics we've talked about on the

show um but the reason we want to do vulnerability is because i have one very specific thing that i wanted to talk about in relation to the show and in relation to to general creative pursuits and something i just wanted to externalize in the show but also because it's like a nice thesis statement for the end of the year yeah show it's we're you know there's only a few more days and i was going to say how many, I think it's seven left. Exactly, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's seven days left in 2017

and we're looking forward on a new year. And as superficial as it is to think about making changes to your life on, you know, a day changing or whatever there is something so powerful about the the year resetting that i think it's perfectly like i think it's a great wrap up and a great reset like we all like to think about things in digestible chunks like a season right it's like there's no reason that a show can't just go on yeah sure right but like there's it allows time to digest it allows us to encapsulate a a chunk

of our life and in that chunk is the year and that year is coming to a close and that's why we're not doing sad boys anymore it's all over until the following week when we do a new episode yeah yeah it's all over for 2017 it did sound like we were about to announce that the show's ending i mean you sold it pretty well that was a great acting um yeah no i i couldn't agree more i mean i i hate those people that are just uh i hate those people too uh you know the ones i'm talking about no follow-up questions required anyway next topic do you hate those people if so tweet it sad boys yeah yeah let us know um i hate those people that are like forcibly contrarian around people celebrating the new year we're like it's just an arbitrary number it's like hey all of linguistics

is arbitrary you're an arbitrary person you suck and you're arbitrary to me yeah like all of communication is just arbitrary ways of of showcasing emotion right and the year just happens to be another one of them so anyway the reason we're talking about the year specifically aside from the fact that it's one week away i really want to like argue that guy i'm like oh like your circadian rhythms are just arbitrary like you could just sleep you know for one hour a day or forever and be dead yeah and maybe that's preferable but you sir are arbitrary to me uh anyway sorry no i couldn't agree more fuck you steve steve's got a bad rap on the show i don't know what steve has done because steve is a name that

we've used for a lot of different purposes but one day we'll know like one day when the show is huge uh when not if thank you yeah uh someone will rack up all the things that you know karen and steve and uh yeah we were talking about my go-to female name is karen which not a common name oh i mean no no i i have i've heard Karen. Yeah. And I also use women. You use women, yeah. Oh, God. I didn't speak on that. You're a manipulative shoguness, yeah. I was a shoguness. Shoguness.

In Edo period Japan. I'm so proud of you. I was going to fill in that blank for you but i'm so fucking proud oh thanks dude oh my god so i just bill wurtz for history of japan yeah great video i i was raised by um i was gonna say i was raised by very powerful women i was raised by a group of olympians but anyway i i was raised you know um by by women exclusively and um i this is weird but my polls are always like women in my life like so i will always use like sandra and sandra is like my my great aunt who was like like my second mother do you ever feel any conflict around like the joke you're making and the name you choose oh no but like that's what

i'm saying is that i always feel an intense amount of conflict because there's my comedy brain that needs to pull out a name and then because i know that establishing the name in the moment is important for sandra gets there first yeah and sandra gets there first and then i'm like oh i didn't want to put sandra in that position sandra doesn't deserve this deserve that yeah yeah yeah um and so that is is often like making me question like yeah like it just puts me in a weird spot so the topic for today is uh vulnerability which is a little bit broader of a topic than we normally talk about. Right, right. A little bit more granular, but this time I specifically requested from Jarvis that we talk about vulnerability

because I had something that I wanted to say to the Sad Boys audience. Yeah. The Sad Children. I don't know what we call them. What do we call them? The Sad Fam. The Sad Fam. I like Sad Fam. Sad Fam. I tell you what, let's leave it up to the audience.

Yeah, I think that's right. Submit some ideas. We'll get a caucus together. Join that for a little while. Clayton. Clayton. Yeah, dude. Clayton, our number one listener.

I mean, you know, Clayton, Kyle, like, thanks for your listenership. Clayton and Kyle. Oh, Aaron. Aaron. Wait, so many listeners. Wait, hold on. Yeah, I'm just going to starthip. Clayton and Kyle. Oh, Aaron. Aaron. Wait, so many listeners. Wait, hold on,

hold on. Yeah. I'm just gonna start that with Clayton and then you can go in with Aaron and I'll do Kyle because like in order of seniority. And Aaron? Let me start with Clayton

because I don't know what the previous sound like. You want to say shout outs to Clayton? Oh yeah. I mean, shout outs to Clayton. Shout outs to Clayton. Shout outs to Aaron. Shout outs to clayton shout outs to erin kyle

i mean the sad fam or whatever you choose to be called like we uh are are so grateful for for your listenership uh and i'm here to to both respect that and to say something directly to you, which is, Jad, to all of you, to fam, um, in the spirit of, of sad boys, fuck, sorry, Jad,

I see you, and then in the spirit, that's, that's, that's my internet friend. Oh, yeah, yeah,

yeah, I wanted to include him. Okay, so, in the spirit of, in the spirit of sad boys vulnerability, uh, I wanted to say something outwardly to the sad boys fam,

which is an apology. I wanted toly to the Sad Boys fam, which is an apology. I wanted to apologize to the Sad Boys fam. The reason there haven't been episodes recently is entirely my fault. And Jarvis may disagree with that, but I kind of wanted to take ownership of it. I flaked out on a number of recordings over the last few weeks. We were fairly clandestine about it. We went very public about like why that was happening and um i don't know how deeply i wanted to get into that right now but the tldr is really just that i wasn't feeling great i was feeling uh a little depressed i was feeling kind of morose kind of lost i wasn't feeling very funny which is a blocker and of course shouldn't be for this show

because it's a show about being open and that's why i want to apologize i don't want to apologize for being a little depressed i don't want to apologize for yeah fuzzy i want to apologize for not holding up my end of the bargain which is to no matter what put myself on tape yeah we come here and we sit in my bedroom and i awkwardly lean against a memory phone pillow and i talk about where i'm at and you talk about where you're at yeah yeah in the new year it's my new year's resolution jarvis uh i hereby promise to the fam that i will always i feel like they're definitely the fam now i've said like 19 times um i i want to promise to do my best to always present that and to not give you this like weirdly sanitized version of jordan cope yeah yeah because quite recently for a little more context uh we set up a couple of recordings we had one with a guest that i'm still really excited to have and we still have that set up a series of

really exciting guests for 2018 um but i cancelled that and i cancelled one or two other just the boys recordings because each time i had woken up that day and i just felt bad about me i felt like bad about my comedy style and like whether or not I was able to express myself. I felt bad about the version of Jordan that I was in the podcast. And while I felt that, I knew that that would go away. Right. Because I felt other things other times.

Right. I love doing the show. I love the person that I am on it. I love the person you are on it. Yeah. I love my dynamic. But at the time I just felt frustrated. I felt like angry with the Jordan that are on it. Yeah, yeah. I love my dynamic. But at the time, I just felt frustrated. I felt, like, angry with the Jordan that was on Sad Boys,

and I didn't want to be that Jordan for a while. So I kind of wrestled with that for a few weeks. Jarvis was very kind in giving me a little time to figure that out. And then on this episode, I just wanted to come in and apologize for that, apologize for not taking the risk and trusting that we have, like nicest listeners in the world we do we do universally sweet and i should have trusted that no matter what kind of jordan i was they would be welcoming and yeah i'm fucking back hey well welcome back i i it's really interesting to hear that put this way because i i mean like i was there for this but at the same time um hadn't heard you know your telling of the events um

and sure i imagine they're somewhat skewed right well sure like in the in the interest of like you know sad boys vulnerability it's like i i was frustrated also but i got over that because I think that the show has to go on with us as ourselves. And if, if this is a like side effect of that, then that is in the canon of the show and not something that like is to be like brushed under the table. And I, I really appreciate your, um, goal in 2018 to, to try and like be there even when you're like not feeling good

about yourself. I, I don't want to like put you on the spot, um, for that, but I also, um, you know, that gives me, me a little bit more ammunition is the wrong word, but like, uh, I think that even going back to like episode zero, sad boys, like there, there is a degree to which, um, I am just trying to get the thing to happen. And I think it's because my vulnerability, the thing that I am vulnerable about is that as a solo creator, you know, like I have a YouTube channel, um, and, and I'm trying to, yeah, youtube.com slash Jarvis Johnson. And, uh, I'm, you know, trying to put out quality tweets and Instagrams and trying to like build this like personal brand and stuff that zaps my energy the most

and specifically for like for youtube which i love dearly and i love writing and ideating on my videos if i'm not at the perfect mental state for writing then i just like can't write and it bums me out so much like and conversely with a partner, when there's like someone that, uh, sort of share some of that burden, it helps me edit myself less. I think a lot of times I will put something out into the world and go, no, that's bad. And, and it, it paralyzes me to a certain degree with my own, um, with my own solo stuff. And so it really helps to have someone else to go, no, it's fine. Or no, like crooked slightly. So right. To help me get over that like mental block. And the thing about sad boys and the thing about creating with another person,

and this is also probably why all of my old creations also involves other people is because like back when I was like 14 and stuff, when I'm creating with another person, I feel like I have infinite creative energy because it's like this feedback loop of like, oh, okay, this person's accepting me. I'm accepting them back and forth. And it's like, it helps me get something out. And because I've pent up a lot of frustration from not being able to like finish my things on my own, I want to keep creating a lot when I'm with that other person. I'm like addicted to that creation. And so that's like I – when I record Sad Boys, I like want to do like four episodes. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You know what I mean? Like I – because I could just keep going for some reason. Like there's just like something there. And it's also why, which is also why I like agonize over things like tweets, because I like literally like when I tweet, I will like send it to a friend. I'll send it to Jordan.

I'll send it to my friend, Russell. I'll be like, like, you see where I'm getting at here, right? This is working, right?

This translates. Like, I won't just like put it out there. And it's because I like need a little bit there's something editing me right there's something that like i can't without something to bounce off of it's also why you know for the longest time like talking into a camera is is so much harder than just like looking at another person because or like performing like i do improv performing in front of a crowd because you can read the other person and when there's nothing to read like the camera i'm just like seeing my own reflection in the lens it's like uh there's

that classic adage about like the distinction between writing and speaking yeah if you're in a room by yourself and you've got a scotch in your hand and you're an old writer struggling with the story you're trying to release from your heart, then it's a solo experience. The pain is coming from the fact that you know what you want to do, but articulating it is the pain, as opposed to communication and speaking, which is, you know, linguistics is its own art. It's all just about, oh, I use an inflection that clearly Jarvis doesn't really vibe with. Right, right. Oh, that's a word Jarvis doesn't really like. Hey, this is a kind of joke that Jarvis loves. And you slowly adapt.

You mold to that person's way of communicating. Totally. And then it becomes second nature. Boom, I can go. I can go and be fast. Like, we shot a sketch, what, a few months ago at this point? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I have only been involved in two of your videos.

That was one of them. Right, right. And in both cases, I mean, you can probably speak to this more so because you have the other data set of videos I was not involved in. But in both cases, there were very few moments where you were like doing a line and going,

and then just silence and thought. It was all just like, hey, how's this? Ba-ba-ba-ba, ba-ba-ba-pow! And then here's another line, and here's another presentation of that line. And that speed and and intensity is really really hard to replicate by yourself yeah yeah cooperative creation is like it's the nice combination of that writing hemingway sitting with a scotch in his hand and sad boys hanging out and chatting you know yeah and it's it's ultimately why nothing is created by anyone alone yeah because

like even with Hemingway or even with like any author they have editors and like people think that the editor is just like oh you spelled this word your grammar's off this is affect not effect or whatever like that's not it's like they're thinking like holistically about the whole piece. When I send a script to Jordan or my friend Russell, which I do, it's because I authored something, but I know that when a second set of eyes sees it, they're going to – there's a lot of power in that fresh set of eyes. They're going to be like, oh, you were really focused on this weaving these two two threads but this is a scarf and i'm like oh oh this was a scarf the whole time i forgot that when i started making this i was like i'm gonna make a scarf and then i got really deep into the threads and i was like okay over under over under and then they were like you walk outside you're like oh my neck's cold yeah i forgot about that part oh my neck's cold oh i i never was fulfilled by that project that i started what

was that and then i show it to one of my friends and they're like oh this is like a scarf and i'm like oh oh i was calling it a neck blanket yeah that's it it was a neck blanket and i put it on my feet and i was like i was like why doesn't this feel right? Yeah. And I just showed it to someone. And one thing I want to get better at is keeping myself going, like cheering myself on, reading myself and trusting my own, like my voice. And I don't think I'll ever not have other people chiming in and getting their opinions. But right now i'm blocked like when like it blocks me when i can't get feedback on something when i can't get feedback on something and in learning having a dialogue with yourself as its own art form right like that's a completely

separate skill set which i will say you have been getting better at i mean as somebody that's been reading your scripts and also been somewhat behind the scenes on some of your content right yeah it's it's clearly becoming easier right i would also not give yourself too much I mean, as somebody that's been reading your scripts and also been somewhat behind the scenes on some of your content. Right. Yeah. It's clearly becoming easier. Right, right, right. Though I would also not give yourself too much of a hard time because it will never be easy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It will only ever be easier.

Right. And I think that I want one day to – I value so much creating uh with another person like i will never stop doing that um and that's why i'm so excited about this show but at the same time i know how much energy i leave on the table sometimes and i would love to be able to turn that into creative energy for solo things because i know that i can control me. And if I can get better at like managing myself, um, then I will sort of reach some of my like creative goals with regard to like what I'm able to do because I am able to like trust myself better and I'm able to, uh, uh, write better and like get further by myself. And like, there's always going to be other voices in the room,

but it's just an area of personal improvement. Yeah. And to take it full circle, I mean, what we're basically talking about in a weird roundabout way is exactly what we were talking about earlier on with, hey, if you're really struggling with something, just go back to basics. If you're agonizing over the script

that you just can't find the basics of, you can't find the nuance that you got into it for in the first place. Right, right. And you're like, oh, I hate this phrasing. I hate this grammar. I hate this patter that I have in my speech. And then you give it to somebody else, the equivalent of,

well, I'm really frustrated by my work lifestyle and my relationships aren't going well at the moment. I'm just going to clean my apartment. Right. Instead of agonizing over this sentence or this paragraph or the fact that you don't feel like the perfect version of yourself to be on a podcast right now, instead, just get on the podcast, just go for a run, just write down your thoughts, just clean your apartment, just take a bath. It is wild how effective that is. For example, like after

cleaning my apartment, I had like a ton of ideas for tweets i practically texted jordan a inspirational manifesto this morning at like yeah 9 30 a.m um it's because that energy is cyclical yeah it feeds itself i was in the shower and i like had an idea for like the visuals on something it's in in when i was just in my head none of that it was it was only the feeling of being frustrated that i couldn't create yeah and going back to basics i didn't expect going back to basics to fix it the reason i went back to basics was because it was a necessity for like not living in a cesspool and when i did it i was like no fucking way yeah i in fact it's almost frustrating how simple it is right because i'm even realizing that just this moment that i should go back to basics when

i feel that and i hope that like when i'm in that situation again i don't go well no this is different this is a different time no this is previous jarvis doesn't understand i'm sleepy yeah yeah it's which has never happened before yeah wait um it's supposed to be a foot blanket you know like no no it was a scarf to begin with just make the fucking scarf or or even that it doesn't know what it is like i i i had that today where i was like oh i wrote this script and it has this thesis, but I want to slightly shift the thesis because I think I have an argument that I feel, but I wanted to shift it because I had an argument that I felt was more true to what I'm experiencing.

And when I shifted it, I was like, oh no, here it goes like it's all over now because who knows what this is gonna be but yeah i i just need to take a step back and maybe focus on something else for a minute and it will become clear or i'll like you know reach out to to a friend and get a second pair of eyes on it or something as well as apologizing to the sad boys fam i also want to say thank you for a really interesting latter part of the year and also a thank you for what i'm going to ask them to do oh okay which is to keep us accountable for our new year's resolutions and these are not new year's resolutions just generally as people right specifically uh new year's resolutions as to

how we keep doing sad boys yeah resolutions as to what the show looks like how it performs what we put into it right so to kick us off um i guess i'll propose my news resolution and what i want from the audience and from from friends and family and anybody even tangentially involved to the show but most of all my good friend jarvis is to keep me accountable to the fact that this show always goes well yeah it can go weird it can go tiring i've done episodes where i'm just completely burned out and i've done episodes where i felt completely rejuvenated but whatever it is it's like therapy you don't skip a day of therapy because you feel sensitive right all right you go to therapy to express your sensitivity or you go to a therapy to express your elation you go to therapy to express yeah and i think i'm doing a disservice

to the audience if i don't express yeah like sad boys is just the window in time a vignette yeah yeah yeah yeah and and so it doesn't matter how we feel i've oh on so many episodes of sad boys like just gotten frustrated at some point of the show and it it just needs to be yeah and a lot of times that doesn't even like pick up because when we're in it it's therapeutic yes it's a frustration like oh that wasn't quite the way i wanted to phrase that thing or i didn't communicate that as effectively as i want to but it it doesn't matter. You communicated the thing you were able to communicate. Like if you went to a therapy session and then you said, can we scratch that? Can we just scratch that whole session?

Because it wasn't quite as good as I wanted it to be. That's a great point, by the way. That's a crazy way to live your life. It's completely acceptable. And I should mention. Or even you wake up in the morning and you start getting ready and you're like, actually, let me start over. I don't quite like the technique I used while I was brushing my teeth. Not today.

Not today. Perhaps Tuesday will offer a better chance. To be fair, I have reset my day one time. Really? It's a day that I walked outside. I was late. I called a Uber to get to work on time it showed up outside of my apartment and then started driving away it was raining i ran after it fell slid scraped up my

knee fell through a mousetrap factory then into a firework factory yeah no i i basically like fell and slid muddied up all these new clothes that i just bought like scratched up brand new white vans and then i was just like all right i gotta go home i gotta take off all these things i gotta get back in bed and i gotta get up and pretend it's a new day i have so much time for that yeah 17 thumbs up to you my friend yeah god damn that's great yeah but but um but that was it that was a one in a thousand for sure sure like that is probably one of the worst mornings i've ever had right but then also to pull it back to the analogy you didn't then say well that experience wasn't worthwhile it contributed nothing instead we're talking about

it now and you're saying hey i had this experience i learned some things i grew and i tried again yeah not i just fucking i didn't even get up again i got back to bed and i set the bed on fire it's true yeah yeah they're different things i i think the point that that we're trying to make here is that sad boys in a lot of ways sad boys is a production but it is at its core just us in a window in time exploring our feelings yeah and hopefully getting a little bit of your feelings too we've been getting dms lately which is so exciting it's so exciting that i you know it's really hard to judge a show from the inside, but it probably sounds disingenuous when we say like,

hey, hit us up on DMs and tweet at us. Every single time we have received a tweet or DM, the other person, like one person finds it, has screenshotted it and sent it to the other person, and we've talked extensively about it. Yeah, like isn't this wild like how kind of this person to share this perspective and to do it so articulately and oh my god just it's super cool so much and that's the exact reason i trust this fam enough to hold me accountable to be my my real self on this show because the other half of that apology really is like,

I think on one or two episodes, I've drifted into performative Jordan. Yeah. And that's not bad. It's fine. It's like, you know, it's a way of doing the show. I think our selling point is that we can bounce between our performances and our true selves. It's watching a movie and the director's commentary

at the same time flicking between channels i like that so and and i think sometimes i tend to lean a little bit too far on the movie and if anybody ever feels that tell me like i want to be the rawest most uh uncured version of jordan check in on us like i i think our ass yeah i think that we're really open to that um and i i pride myself on taking criticism oh javis speaking of taking criticism and being vulnerable what is your new year resolution for sad boys um so my new year's resolution for sad boys is a i don't know i haven't told you about this but it's a whatever we have to do to hit a weekly schedule every the day like for the like like on the same day so basically they release thursday that kind of thing yeah like a wednesday or thursday release or tuesday whatever like some

day of the week the same day every day like if that means we need to record episodes, like a bunch of episodes and keep, keep a hopper of episodes. Like, I don't know how to make it work, but it is a dream of mine to release content on the same day. And I would love to understand how that happens. No, it's baller. I love that. Yeah. No, that's, that's a, so that's a thing for me because I, you know, for the listeners, like Jordan and I split responsibilities for sad boys, I edit the show. And a lot of the times when I like, don't have a show to edit, I'm like, dang, I was ready. Yeah. I got that. I got that edit energy

in my bones. Yay. I'm I'm cause because I, I feel empty project. Yeah. An audition just moving things around. I open up an audition, yeah. And I just like start talking. Hitting, placing markers. Yeah. I start, I start, welcome to Sad Boys episode Jarvis. Episode me. But I do that because I know the community that I'm serving

and I want to like do right by them. Cause when somebody like tells me like, Hey, I was looking for sad boys today and I didn't see it. I'm like, fuck man, you're right. Yeah.

And it's like, it didn't matter how I felt I was doing. It's like, um, it's like if you're a lunch person at a school and you're like, I can already sound such an interesting analogy. I like that. No, but it's like if you're a lunch person at a school and you're like... I can already sound such an interesting analogy. I like that. No, but it's like, yeah, it's like little Johnny doesn't get his scoop of sloppy Joe.

Well, sorry, Johnny. I was feeling vulnerable. I was tired that day and I wasn't able to make you any food. In a lot of ways, it's like, okay, sure sure this isn't a job but this is i think this has already baked itself into our own emotional developments that it should be like it not not a job but it should be something that we're held accountable for yeah no i love that and as the person you mentioned splitting responsibilities the main thing i focus on is like you know the biz dev stuff i book the guests and try and focus on growth stuff.

And it's all part of my apology. I think we fell behind cause I wasn't, I wasn't cranking hard enough or at least not like prioritizing it in a way that I should have possibly because it's not a job, you know, like I wasn't putting it high enough, but it's something that gives me value and gives me worth. I've never regretted any time I spent on anything for sad.

Not, yeah, not a single second yeah which i mean now that we've done our news resolutions i do have one final bit of ludicrous vulnerability yeah i want to get on tape hit me i want to get on that record hit me i love you jarvis oh man this has been i've never been so excited and positive about a creative project and it's never been so fun to invest time in um one of the reasons that I want to consolidate my time better in the future and like you know really crank on making this show come out on a weekly basis right is because every

single record we've done regardless of like comfort quality content topic guest whatever has been a growth experience yeah I've like walked away from it like oh i'm a slightly different version of jordan cope now yeah that's true i feel that too yeah i remember the iterations of jordan between episodes of sad boys yeah yeah yeah that's cool yeah i i do and i think that this episode will walk away different people which is so freaking cool indeed and i i mean i've i've told you this privately but like i you know love and respect you so much and i'm so happy that we've found this like way to collaborate um and i think it's fed into a lot of the other things that we're doing for the better like i think i i ultimately think that

we are becoming better at the things that we want to do in the world because we have like found each other and like in in a lot of ways life is like this like you know two ships passing in the night uh you never know how long you know you'll be like aligned with someone but um i'm never going to in very much the same way as like I think about the online friends that I've met in real life, the each creative project that I did when I was, you know, in high school or even before that, I remember exactly who was involved and I remember how much it meant to me. And this is one of those times. Fuck yeah, man. Yeah. And I mean, if we're two ships passing the night,

I'm boarding you and I'm stealing your jewels. This is a ship is boarding another ship. Jordan doesn't know what a metaphor is. He's taking my watch. He thinks it's a ship. But yeah, it's been really positive so far. And, and it's funny that we already talked about the idea of cleaning your house and,

and, and doing the chores and small minuscule pieces that make you feel comfortable. And that's what this show is. That's what our relationship is in general. But particularly when you'll check in with me and be like, Hey, what's up? What are you doing for the show?

And I'll be like, Oh yeah, I'm good.'m good how's the edit going it's like oh suddenly i have energy to go and vacuum my house yeah i got that little boost yeah just a little taster of productivity yeah or it's like if i can send you a a quote from an episode that i'm editing or a like a like a crudely shot cell phone video of a video that i'm editing it like gives me so much because it feels like i'm releasing a little bit of something yeah yeah yeah and it's i can't put it out publicly and it is the exact same emotion yeah yeah redesigning your living room yeah but it's something that that isn't cyclical right like when you redesign your living room that's still your living room you still sit there you still live in your room yeah whereas now shit i just made like an additional 25 of

a sad boys episode yeah pushed and there's there's output yeah yeah and i think both of those things both stuff that like doesn't have an output like for in a lot of ways like cleaning your room or like going on a run doesn't have the output in the same way that like making an hour of audio content is or two hours the way this episode is shaping up like um but they're both equally valuable you cannot have one without the other you cannot have the like the the meat without the vegetable or i mean like that's you could be vegan you know you can't so you you can't have the the the protein without the fat and the carb you know you need those like macro nutrients and they're all a piece of the pie damn what the hell is the

homework for this episode the homework for this episode is like to tell us your new year's resolutions tell us your new year's resolutions and also it's a double homework oh shit i want you to go tell a jarvis in your life the value that they bring to you. Yeah, because... It could be in a creative capacity. It could be in a personal capacity. Just express it. Yeah, when you think of the relationships that you have in your life

that are changing the way that you are as a person, first of all, those things are rare. Yeah, cherish them. Yeah, so cherish them because they should be yeah and they cherish them and yeah so cherish them because they should be celebrated and they won't come around every day so go out and find the people that clean your living room figure out the living room cleaners yeah emotional living room clean yeah and just do yourself a favor and clean your house yeah not a metaphor it's a mess literally i have seen your house uh sad boys fam it's a trash heap so it's bad um all righty

i think we out we are dawning on christmas day my friend we are we are uh 47 minutes away from christmas day it's about to be christmas day so we're gonna go and be festive i reckon yeah let's do it we love you and we're sorry boom