Sad Boyz - Dating w/ our friend Elizabeth

Episode Date: April 27, 2018

Today on Sad Boyz we're joined by our dear friend Elizabeth to talk dating! We discuss our experiences with dating, misconceptions we've had, and take a look at gender roles and society's view on dating. It wouldn't be sad boyz if we didn't spend half the episode goofing off, so we also talking about chaco tacos, Dido, and Elizabeth explains her side of the airplane story from last week.

Welcome to Sad Boys, a podcast about feelings and other things also. I'm Jarvis. And I'm Sexy Jordan. Sexy Dating Jordan. Ooh. Yeah, I'm Elizabeth. Today we have a very special guest. Me? Is it Sexy Dating Jordan? No. Look to your left. Wait, I'm looking where? I'm looking about 48 feet in the air. Sorry, your other left. Jordan doesn't know left.

Okay, now I'm looking down.'m looking about sorry sorry your other left jordan doesn't know left okay now i'm looking down i just see the floor not down just like look at the person who's sitting right next to you oh it's sexy jordan there's a mirror we're joined today by our dear friend elizabeth who maybe you've heard about in previous episodes almost exclusively with concern like oh i had this interaction with elizabeth and elizabeth has caused this issue for me i have a story about elizabeth yeah uh elizabeth's on the episode yay and do you have any things you want to say for yourself yeah i'm just really proud that i'm finally infamous that's been one of my goals is that better than famous yeah because you're famous for negative things oh that, that's true.

Oh, sorry. Are you just defining infamy for us? Oh, cool. Thanks. I mean, you asked if it was better than famous. Do you want to be infamous because fear is a more powerful tool than love? Definitely. 100%.

Love that. That's why I'm here today. To spread fear. Yeah. And to talk about our topic, which is dating elizabeth you've dated correct no actually that's also why i'm here because i'd really like to learn how that goes yeah this is a date wow the three of us are on a date right now that's that's how this you just get tricked into it yeah well we organized this in advance it's i mean pretty sexy i think we could agree it's it is a la croix we do have a look right

we're the la croix boys present at all dates likewise so our friend elizabeth is joining us today to talk about dating uh our experiences with dating um this is going to be a fairly heteronormative dating discussion we are all you know straight people yes uh we're all people we're all people and each one of us is straight straight i think that's an interesting conversation to be had with a guest from the LGBT community. I was going to say, I actually don't identify as straight, but I've only been in heteronormative relationships. Interesting. Now I feel bad because I, whoops, sorry.

No, it's not something that like everyone knows. And now it's exclusive on the sad boys i mean i'm interested i don't necessarily you know let me know if this is too invasive question too early in the show obviously we usually only ask the really invasive questions after 15 minutes or so but uh to kick off like how would you quantify the idea that you aren't uh heterosexual necessarily but have only been in the heteron relationships yeah definitely because i mean there's like so much to unpack there but i would say a lot of it is because of my upbringing and like growing up in a very conservative family um it would like never even cross my mind that i

could like actually do that in a comfortable way right and i also like do just really like men in general so i never had like a problem only dating men yeah you like specifically you like men in the army you like men in general yeah just you've actually made some pretty inflammatory comments about how only men should be in the army could you care to speak on that yeah i think only men should be in the army because they all have you know just so much to work out and the army is a really good place to get your emotions oh i see it's women would be very effective yeah but you're saying that just men need the release exactly yeah yeah because they really have nothing else and they have no way to communicate their emotions yeah

because men just can't talk about feelings right thanks thanks for taking my very insincere dumb joke and turning into something very insightful yeah that's very much the case men can't talk about feelings at all um they've never been good at it and they're certainly not a podcast on the subject that we're recording well we're the only two i'm gonna throw away the microphones if you'll uh if you'll hand them over i'm gonna throw away the microphones and then throw myself away. Yeah, I identify as bisexual or like pansexual because I just am in love with people based on who they are and not necessarily

what their gender identity is. That's so beautiful. Because really I only care about cash. That's the main thing for me. And I only care about butts. Nice dude. Yes, 420. Right? Right, 4 420 i didn't look up what that means i just know it's like a town day oh nice yeah happy 420 also happy

tourist season to both of you today is the first day of tourist season oh wow it begins yeah it begins it's your season wait what can i do only is that again like special powers or something yeah you basically like you can summon the devil whenever you want to do your bidding. Yeah, it's fun. That's pretty cool. Do my bidding, really? Seems like a waste of his time. What does that really mean?

You mean, like, it means you can summon the devil to an auction house? He's a very savvy financial manager. What's that? It looks like the bid goes to the man in all red. Is that Al Pacino? The man with horns. That's a great deal. I'll take it for 500, Alex.

I should get out of this. Now the devil is playing Jeopardy. Bidding in any context. But do you even do bidding on jeopardy well he specifically does the bit where you say how much you want to play for he does final jeopardy only i'll take and then the devil yeah exactly um so we'll be talking about dating sorry weird segue to briefly touch on an actual dating story that's only relevant right now okay i went on a date last weekend where a girl explained the concept and logistics of jeopardy to me i really want to know how you got there but i've never seen the uh movie i assume you've never jeopardy well it's from the 80s it was like an m night

shambhalon thing yeah i had a really big twist ending i've never seen it and uh it resulted in getting a pretty insightful breakdown of how the whole show works so that reference to final jeopardy i understood all thanks to bleep can't say her name for sure well we're gonna talk about that more and other dating stories and experiences. I can't wait. Elizabeth's going to be the guru on this app. Yeah, I am not qualified to be the guru, but... We can't wait for you to transform our dating lives.

But first, Elizabeth, our guest, how was your week? My week was actually really good. I feel like I came out of a weird slump of Do you ever just feel weirdly insecure about everything in your life And there's no reason for it? No, not at all I'm feeling that way right now No, I would say that the two of us are pretty emotionally secure and balanced

Yeah Of course Unless you mean all of the time Yeah, like you go through a checklist of your life like okay my work is going well my friendships and relationships are going well i have a good relationship with my family right now there's no reason why i should be feeling weird but you just like feel weird about stuff and start to question everything wow i've never checked all those boxes off before i've always gone well work is a tire fire.

All of my friends hate me. I can't for the life of me figure out what I'm doing with my life. Well, usually when you start to make progress and you go like, well, all my friends like me, I'll jump in and be like, no, no, no, no. Yeah. I actually did some surveying and that's not the case. Yeah. I never want you to get too big. You keep me honest.

Yeah. My haters keep me humble. Yeah. That's interesting. Do you ever find that? I think we talked about this a little bit last time, but do you ever find that it can become self-fueling in the fact that because you can't identify the thing yeah makes you feel like oh i'm so dumb why don't i know yeah 100 i feel like that's like the the root of it is because i don't know exactly what it is that

is making me feel weird like it just gets worse was it you're like it's clearly just me oh i'm broken yeah was it this week it was like i would say it was like all last month and then this week was the first time that i felt really just like secure and happy about things again um and i think it's just good to remind i always remind myself now now that i've been on the earth for multiple years yeah i mean we can see it for two weeks now that i've been on the earth for multiple years. 48 years. Yeah. I mean, we can see it. It's for two weeks. Now that I've been on the earth for a few days. You don't look a day over 60. Thank you so much.

Most people think that I'm like 75. So. Oh, well, I guess. Sorry. I mean, you look 25 years over 60. You don't look a day over 60. Oh, okay. I lost a bet.

So I guess I'll Venmo you, Jordan. Oh, no. But what was I talking about? Oh, yeah. I just, I am able to remind myself that every time I feel like that, it's usually temporary. And the recipe for getting myself out of that is to really just focus on stuff that makes me feel good independently. So nothing that I need to rely on other people for like instead of trying to reach out to a lot of people i kind of just reach in yeah and then and then it kind of solves itself and then people gravitate back into my life and i don't feel weird and insecure about stuff that sounds very healthy healthy yes and do you feel like you actively did anything to get back

to this place? Yeah, definitely. I started meditating every single day when I started to feel out of it. And I started journaling a lot, which is also a habit that I've kind of gone out of. On the daily? Yes. I would just make myself write down like one sentence, even if I didn't feel like it. And then one sentence would always turn into more. Oh, that's cool. That's cool. I want to give a shout out to an app that our friend made that I personally haven't used yet because I require iOS 11 and I don't update my phone because I don't want the man watching me.

But Jarvis, you use it called Little Memory? Yeah, yeah. It was designed by one of our former coworkers, actually. And it is a little micro journaling app, essentially, like every day at 9pm. It's like, hey, tell me about your day. And then you'll write like a tweets length or something of stuff about your day. And it's a little therapeutic in that moment. But then it will remind you like in 90 days, like three months from then, or like a year from then. And it really helps me put into perspective, like my men, the cycles of my mental state. Cause I can be like, wow, three months ago,

I was like going through it. Or I like was really deep and I wasn't able, like, I was really deep in my own thoughts and feelings and wasn't able to like, I wasn't able to take a step back and look at things broadly and have perspective. And it really helps contextualize a lot of those things. So it's called the little memory. If you're into that kind of thing. Check it out. Download the app. Give it a five-star review on iTunes.

This is the whole reason. And while you're at it, give us a five-star review on iTunes. In fact, if you really feel like it, just give us the five-star. Because I assume you only get one. Yeah, you can only give one. Each of us can give one rating. Oh, wow. And it has to be five stars.

As we mentioned before, if you do try and give the show anything less than a five star. It'll tear a rift in the FaceTime continuum. Yeah. Something bad will happen. And I'm not going to tell you why. Sorry. It'll cause a rift in the FaceTime continuum. Yeah.

Next time we try and call you our face will have a big cut in it yeah yeah it's true or or your mom will just like show up in as a floating head while you're like doing laundry that's horrifying yeah yeah so don't fuck with the facetime continuum and give us a five-star review. Please, for once. Young Elizabeth, may I ask you a question? No. Okay, no worries. Jarvis, I'm going to ask you a question.

How the hell was your week, my dude? Were you about to ask Elizabeth again how her week was? No, I had a nice question for Elizabeth. I changed my mind. You can ask me a question. No. Elizabeth, I was going to ask you if you have any advice for people that want to get into something like journaling or I guess like a ritualistic habit at the end of the day. Personally, I have a terrible job of that. There's like five different things I'd like to do at 9 p.m. every single day, have set alarms for and do not do.

Yeah. p.m every single day have set alarms for and do not do yeah i think i almost feel like jarvis is better at this than i am because jarvis is really good at like making habits but i will say that okay i'm noticing a pattern where you go to elizabeth first she's not the authority on this this is this is speaking to my delegation um no i think so i have to get over the hump of not wanting to do something and so i set like a very small expectation for myself um and something that just seems like much more manageable, like writing one sentence versus you have to make an eight-page entry. Yeah, novella a day. And I just really go back to how good that made me feel the last time I did it,

where I'm like, even if I don't. And this works really well for meditating and exercising too, which are things that are so essential to my mental health and things that I used to hate to make time for and now are very much a part of my routine. So I just like really hearken back to when it made me feel really good and like focus in on that and think you've never regretted doing this. So there's no reason for you not to do it. And even if you only do it for a little bit, and it doesn't have to be good, and it doesn't have to be like the best time you've ever done

it. You just have to do it. Yeah, I definitely agree with that advice. With journaling or writing specifically, because I don't journal as regularly as I'd like, but just because I'm doing YouTube stuff, I have to write. And there are, there are a lot of tricks, uh, going back to that writing one sentence thing, where if you're stopping writing on something, you can like leave yourself incomplete sentences. And when you come back, you'd like know how to finish that sentence. So it like tricks your brain into being like, oh, well I know, I know what comes next here. And then like this clearly follows with this other thing. And, um, with, with running, like I, I want to get better at the exercising habit, and I'm still pretty bad at it. But one thing that I am able to do is even if I try to run and I

can't run for as long as I want to, I'm like, hey, this is still better than the day that I did nothing. Yeah. And I think reminding's of nothing is a lateral journey so you're gonna have days where you're really shitty at it but you're still making some sort of progress and just being proud of yourself for doing anything versus not doing it well clearly you've never played a side scrolling video game but uh specifically the lateral journey check it out on snes yeah i feel like i feel like I'm getting better at habit development. I just always tend to default to addictive behavior, which is not necessarily non-productive. Like, I'm working out a lot right now.

Working out most days, really focused on, like, what nutrition I should be having when, that whole kind of thing. Whereas I know for a fact that's not a sustainable lifestyle because I'm only doing it because right now I'm addicted to working out. In a little bit of time, I'll get addicted back to Smash Brothers or I'll get addicted to Overwatch again. And that other stuff will drop out. Whereas if I was able to develop it as just a component of my existing lifestyle and then I supplement things with Overwatch and working out, it's like a much more sustainable idea that I tend to struggle to implement.

Yeah, I definitely used to be the same way. But I think that you can remind yourself that it's okay to be super into something, especially in the beginning. And that it's it's okay to kind of drop off for a little bit and then meet a happy medium. But just never let yourself have those times where you're not doing whatever the habit is for longer than a week that's the only time i'll give myself where i'm not doing a habit that i'm trying to work on like if i'm sick and i can't work out i don't beat myself up for it and i just say like okay i this is the maximum of me not doing this there's also a lot of like other mental tricks that you can do like if you don't want to um i don't know if

you're like trying to build a habit of doing push-ups every day this is just like a dumb example and you like don't feel like you have the energy to do push-ups going to the place that you normally do push-ups and like not doing the push-ups but sort of getting into the form and being like okay here's where push-ups normally happen body and brain like yeah that's so true we're not going to do it now but like we we're keeping this habit alive in terms of like the the neural pathways that are like lighting up whenever i when the clock hits 9 p.m or whatever because our brains are assholes and you literally have to trick your brain like any habit book and like i haven't read the what is it it's like the secret

of keeping habits or something the habit book i think it to terabithia yeah um but i think that's like half of it is creating consistent scenarios for yourself like waking up at the same time and like just making very consistent environments it literally you have to trick your brain yeah that's i feel the most at the end of the day if i kicked my brain's ass I'm just like, haha Bed at 8.30, my brain's like Not again! You've defeated me Jordan! Next time Every time I do the dishes

Instead of leaving them in the sink, I'm like, yes! It's like, ah But what about anxiety? And then it throws that I do have a contentious He-Man versus Skeletor relationship with my own brain. Is that why you're doing a Skeletor impression? Yeah.

Well, but that's, it feels a lot like that. Thunder. Much like a Saturday morning. That's not He-Man. That's Thunder Cats. He-Man. Oh!

You know, like, much like a Saturday morning cartoon where the stakes are relatively high but things always reset. That is like the relationship I have to my brain and my mental health is my brain will go, hmm, maybe you'll be uncomfortable for 48 hours no matter where you are and i'll be like okay that sucks but it'll go away right like and we'll do another episode next week

it's like yes nobody will die or anything like it's pretty low stakes yeah so that just reminds me of like some of the stuff we talked about on our cleaning house episode where it can feel so good and so cathartic to to do these like menial tasks like even though they're not particularly like when you go to bed and you don't like do the dishes it doesn't you don't feel anything uh and if and if you do feel anything it's like kind of a like grody feeling where you're like oh well i saw those dishes but the work involved to clean the dishes is never that much work you never do the dishes and go oh well i lost my whole day because i'm doing all those dishes certainly not versus like the brain calories you're burning on like oh i should have done the dishes exactly

yeah like taking out the trash for me has been that recently like uh because i you know what's that what's that in the distance the theme song oh Oh, I don't hear it. Sorry. Okay, well, trash update. So, why are you looking at me like that? Sorry, no, please continue. I don't hear the theme, so I don't know when it would happen. Okay. It's not going to happen when I start talking, is it? The trash theme song?

I don't see why. Yeah. I mean, I don't hear it, and presumably I would know it was coming. Right, okay. So, anyway, I'm going to talk about my trash situation. I don't know why you're hesitating. You're holding a metaphorical gun to my head. What is it about me miming a trumpet in front of my mouth that makes you so nervous?

What is it? Go ahead. It's the theme. I know where it is. I don't see the theme going anyway um i feel the same way about my trash because i don't like going into my kitchen and are we talking about trash because that's also like how your dating life feels right now jesus wow sorry yeah taking out the trash is code my microphone melted.

It is making a noose. I'm sorry. I'm not normally that mean to you. Only to Jordan. I was like, that's not believable at all. I don't believe you, even slightly. But yeah, my... We should have had you on the bullying episode as the bully.

When I walk into my kitchen and there's like a trash buildup and I know that it could be like in the trash room in a trash bin somewhere. It like eats at my brain or like when I have a dirty room or something. It just like eats at like my headspace because it's like occupying. I could be having a conversation 20 miles away from like my apartment and I could feel the the not cleanliness of like my room or my kitchen or whatever how sad my trash is not being where it wants to be i assume trash likes to go to the dump right that's where it's always all it's like friends are you know what's sad is i don't think of it like that like i i really personify everything it's like something i used to do when i was little it's a problem wait what personify

like give it a personality yeah like i just feel really bad like throwing things away don't you like hanging out with your buddies though trash wants to be with trash yeah that's true all right well and that that was the topic right that was elizabeth's week so I really I'm actually starting to get worried about the trash theme because like

I did tell it to come and I'm worrying that maybe it got lost on the way here yeah we never know it's one of those like we'll show up well my worry is

that it'll just turn up at like 2am when I'm trying to sleep yeah it's 45 minutes long throwing rocks at your window yeah it's got a boombox

though it'll be standing outside that's cute at least el jarvis el jarvis el jarvis yeah is that spanish for the jarvis yeah el the jarvis uh you had a week correct uh nope oh crap okay shit that's gonna you know that we do the we always talk about weeks there in the show. Oh, okay. Can you just make one up? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. So Jarvis, you had a week, right? Yeah, I had a week.

I know what that is. I went to work and I hung out with friends. This all sounds like a week, yes? And I ate food. Yeah? Anything given you anxiety this last week? Um, so. Sorry, I don't want to frame it that way.

Maybe you had an amazing week. Well, no, I, my week was like, I was a little off my game with sleep this week. And so I felt tired a lot. And I felt very exhausted at like 5 p.m. Where like my brain will just like not allow me to move forward. Like despite like wanting to. I'll be like staring at. And today it happened to me even earlier in the day.

Where I was just like staring at a document that I like needed to write, and I couldn't summon the energy to keep writing it. And that sucks. But I think overall, it's fine. Like a lot of the things, you know, I've like had some changes at work. And part of my new like responsibilities involve like things that take a lot of energy to do. And I think that I'm present for those things. I just need to like adapt to that in a way that's like reserves my energy for the things I need it for. So I'm, it's kind of like in an RPG where you're like, all right,

well I've got this one health potion, so I'm going to use it right now. And then it's like, I don't know what's coming next. Really hope I find another one. Yeah. Yeah. That's,

yeah. That's kind of the situation I'm in where I'm like, at the end of the day, it's like, need my energy but i was like i've already used it yeah okay do you know what the source of you losing your sleep rhythm oh the sleep stuff um the sleep thing rhythm yeah rhythm okay my sleep pattern sure okay you want to say it the wrong way all right it is in fact rhythm okay so i think uh it probably has to do with staying up this weekend a little bit i mean you do stay up until like four in the morning every single day so that might contribute that's not true i sleep at like 8 p.m and 9 p.m uh but uh i've been well so that's another thing is I've been trying to sleep earlier because

I've been like exhausted at the end of the day and I like want to get back to not being exhausted. So I like want to go to bed as soon as I can to get energy again. Yeah. No, I know what sleep is. Yeah. Like, um, no, no, no. That's the thing where you like run on a treadmill for four hours.

No, that's, that's, uh, that's exercise rhythm. Oh yeah. rhythm oh yeah sorry exercise rhythm what's your sleep rhythm is that when you're like putting things in your mouth chewing and swallowing uh no that's eat rhythm eat rhythm sorry so um yeah so i my body desires sleep and so i sleep i i get tired at the end of the day so i'm starting this thing where i close my eyes for eight hours. That's a really good habit to start. Yeah. Elizabeth, any tips on how to start that habit? Yeah, I would say just like drink a fifth of vodka. Dare me to drive?

Is this related to sleep? No, but... You know that song by Phil Collins in the air about that guy who could have saved that other guy from drowning but didn't and Phil saw it all and it showed without him. That's kind of how this is. He could have rescued me from drowning

but it's too late. I'm on a thousand downers now I'm drowsy. And all I wanted was a lousy letter or a call. Jordan, how was your week? Honestly, my week's going pretty well.

My tea's gone cold and I'm running right. I got out of bed at all. I have a good story about Dino but oh my god wait uh that's not the main theme but that it's dido time it's a dido theme elizabeth you do the beat okay so i hope that this is okay that i'm telling this but um my friend got a text from this guy that she's been like hanging out with kind of you could say you could call it that and he said um he said this is super random but i'm driving around in the rain and listening to dido and i

thought maybe you'd like to know that now where i was expecting that story to go i well for my money i was kind of hoping it in some way included dido yeah i was trying to put off reference to the songs she does that's fine um so uh generally to quickly you know defend my definition of sleep normally i would like get home after work and have a few hours where i'm doing stuff uh recently i've been having fewer hours and going to bed much earlier often three hours earlier and that's like affecting um my sleep i think okay i respect that time it sounds like you got a habit to fix my dude i'm working on it you know it's all about consistency um jordan hi how can i help how was how was your week i heard your t's run cold and you're wondering why you got out i got out about it all um well actually that has been kind of the morning drops on your window and now you can't see it all yeah by window i mean

face yeah um i have actually been struggling to get out of bed a little bit because i too i mean my sleep's always atrocious but it's been particularly bad lately uh so i've been doing a bit of a reset as well now has anybody hands up if you have which will translate perfectly into being an audio medium uh tried melatonin for this week yeah i have a story about that actually um you invented it so i uh use melatonin and i also listen to dido while driving around in my car and i thought you might want to know that yeah that's really all i have to offer to that what was your worry about whether or not you could tell that story i don't want to out the person that was driving around in their car listening to dido oh right no we bleeped his whole name social security number that you said i really don't think that he listens to anything. So there's probably a legend out there.

I mean, Dido and Sad Boys are both on Spotify. So that could be something. Right next to each other, alphabetically. A, B, C, D, Sad Boys. Yeah, my sleep's been a tad wonky. So I've been fixing that with drugs and some more rhythm. Some more rhythm, sorry. And it's been going okay. I'm burned out to be totally honest i'm like just knackered

but it's been a very productive and healthy week otherwise so it's a nice kind of burned out like i'm ready to be useless for 48 hours over the weekend we're recording this on a friday evening for context on 420 bro hey the friggin sex number order That's what it's for Smoker Tell me what it is You leave out milk and cookies For Snoop Dogg as I was telling you earlier And then

You watch movies by John Krasinski's wife Emily Blunt Yeah You have a script You've been thinking about that Yeah it's 420 and I'm Emily Blunt. Yeah. You have a script. You've been thinking about that. Yeah, it's 4.20 and I'm burned out and I'm looking forward to being nice and relaxed for about 48 hours.

I have to do some green card stuff tomorrow, which I'm not completely thrilled about. Is that a soccer thing? Yeah, I have to. Yeah, you got a yellow card when you do something bad. You got a red card when you do something really bad. You got a green card when the ref's just like, this is good.

Yeah, that's what I thought. You ever see that? They get a second ref who's just an enthusiast. He's just running around with a red card when you do something really bad you get a green card when the ref's just like this is good yeah that's what i thought you ever see that they get a second ref who's just an enthusiast he's just running around with a green card hey great this is really fun yeah i overall positive week however i am back in the dating scene okay a little bit of a hiatus but i'm back on hinge never used hinge Hiatus. 420. Ha ha. How long was your hiatus for? I don't know. Maybe three or four months. I just stopped dating for a little while just because it was on the list of things I was interested in doing. It was like the fifth most interesting thing.

And I had time for four things. But I'm excited to jump in and talk about it a little bit today. I also want to ask why Hinge of all of the choices out there? I'll give a shout out to Hinge. I think Hinge is kind of the shit. I'm not the world's biggest fan of dating apps. I have nothing against them morally. I just have never really enjoyed them all that much. I see the practicality, but I get bored very quickly when I'm on a dating app.

I don't like talking to people on them particularly. I like the match and then the, hey, we'd love to go out or something. But the minutia, the chat is not for me. Just because there's so little data you can scrape but as far as engagement goes i like hinge it's the system is not dissimilar to tinder but instead of swiping right it instead presents like a full profile with a few quotes of them answering prompts so be like where would i find you at the party or uh what are your three favorite movies something like that and people will answer a question, then they put a photo, answer another question,

then they put a photo. That happens three times. You then like one of those six or seven options. Like you like their answer to a question or you like a photo of theirs. Oh, interesting. To choose to be like shallow or to like their personality.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because you can like the photo and just be like hot. Yeah. Or you can be like, I also enjoy Harry Potter. Which they, I assume they love it

when I just say nice in all caps on a photo. Yeah, definitely. Yeah, of them with their family. I'm just like, nice. Yeah. This is hot. If it was just with their family and you just said nice, I think that that actually would be a great strategy. Okay, that could work.

Yeah. Or you should just ask them like if their mom is attractive and if their mom is single. Oh, because that's a good indication of what they'll be like when they're older. Yeah, definitely. They love that. I'm a little worried about using my app. Oh, it's going to be fine. It's going to be no different than when Eric Andre and Hannibal took over each other's Tinders.

Perfect. And I assume we'll get just as much online traction. Elizabeth, I want to take a little moment in the show today. A sort of a formal apology. Because I embellished a story that you had told me. Elizabeth, I want to take a little moment in the show today. A sort of a formal apology. Because I embellished a story that you had told me. Oh, yes. You are the Elizabeth who was on a plane and wanted to communicate to a man she was sitting next to. Why don't you tell the story?

Yeah. Since apparently I can't get it right. And I embellished the story. So from my memory, what happened was you were on a plane and there was a seat between you and another passenger on the plane. Wait, there was a seat on the window. Oh, yeah. There's a seat on the window, but no other person had come to the window. And then you wanted to scoot over and put space between you and the other passenger and take the window seat.

And like the plane had already taken off and you just spent like 20 30 minutes trying to talk to this guy who was clearly ignoring you you wanted to state the change before it happened yeah and state your intent yeah but there's no like obstacle between you and the window you could have just slid over without saying anything also he didn't know your seat number so the only obstacle was a lack of social races i so i'm so glad that i get to clear my name here because there's a lot that went behind this and part of it is because this is a returning flight and on the flight over i was reading like the airplane magazine you know that one that they have in airplanes they don't sky mall went out of business yeah but it's like

the sky mall equivalent it's like it was not sustainable to keep them all in the sky airlines the magazine yeah like each airline has their own little publication it's actually fun to read sometimes it'll tell you like places to go when you're traveling so i was skimming through that places to jump out when you're flying places to go when you're traveling you should try going to atlanta it's like great i'm going to you should try your destination yeah um yeah so i was reading that and they had like a whole thing on airplane etiquette and one of the things was um to always just like say something nice and friendly to your seatmate and you don't have to like this visual image of my mind like a robot you walk onto the plane you sit down dead-eyed you open the magazine and then you turn and go i enjoy your shirt yeah i'm imagining this magazine's teaching you how to be a human being i'm imagining it more of like a camp site situation where it's like in order to get

your friendship patch you must first greet another human we will only land the plane once you've made two friends but i also like i i'm a very like chatty person in general but on flights i do tend to just be like i'm sitting down don't talk to me whatever you like to sit down on flights yeah i like to sit down sometimes i like to cartwheels through the aisles but directly into the cockpit i wish that would be really fun i'm gonna go ahead and say it probably would be fun new story the next day awesome terrorist is arrested awesome and agile terrorist cartwheels straight through the cockpit door that is stainless steel how could anybody be against you if you did that it's true

the judge would just be like sick it was just very entertaining while she was terrorizing us um thank god she knew how to fly a plane the prestige to that magic trick is that she landed it safely yeah beyond time yeah she was upset about the turbulence so she was like i know let me show you something double double pilot in quotes she did hand quotes for the pilot yeah so so you don't know how to be a human so i was learning just putting my training wheels on for being a human um and i just weirdly internalize this thing even though i normally know how to interact with folks and um i felt weird for some reason because he was like this older man and he looked like i don't know maybe he would want someone to talk to him i just i just think that all older men are like really sad and lonely for some reason

well that was in the that was in the book yeah heads up we'll talk about that in a later episode we have a follow-up episode called ageism and it's just elizabeth apologizing over and over again we have a podium for you so i'm so glad you have this podium to uh confirm that you aren't a weirdo and so far all you've done is lock down that you're much worse than i explained someone will relate to my special brand of social awkwardness but yeah so i tried to just like i felt bad about just moving over oh and to clarify this is the fact that made me the most upset that you missed was that we were in the air and i want to go on record and say that we were not in the air yet we were still on the ground

like people were just getting finished coming onto the plane and i was like i don't know maybe there is a chance someone could come onto the plane and i don't want him to think that i'm moving over because i think that he smells or i don't like him i just wanted to say like i like something funny and i literally thought it was gonna take like four seconds and he would look over and be like haha and then i would just move over into the seat but i tried to say it the first time and he just didn't even look at me like dead straight face and did not have earphones in wow and we had talked before because i had to ask him to like get up so i could go to the bathroom and so then that time when i was trying to just like say something friendly he just ignored me so you're one of

those people who uses the bathroom on a plane before it's taken off i it was i have i drink a lot of water what can i so sue me i'm hydrated dad so sorry i'm just gonna throw in an insert line sure for editing jarvis about the the issue because like i don't think we mentioned this specifically you kept trying to talk to the person yeah do you want to just do that? Well, I was describing it so I could leave in an insert line myself. Wait, what am I saying? I got it. So I'm just going to talk a little bit of stuff I've already said. I mean, I'm glad I've had the opportunity to officially apologize.

I mean, I haven't. Thank you so much. It means a lot. It sounds like the main thing that jordan got wrong is that you were because i asked if they were in the air already and that we got some fake news it sounds so much weirder if we were in the air yes it's so weird yeah but i've learned i've learned my lesson to just not interact with anyone i'm gonna stop that's a pretty extreme what i've learned is i'm just gonna stop talking to everyone pretty much eye contact no more so that's pretty much my week

relatively uneventful and kind of habit driven uh but now i've absorbed drug driven melatonin driven dude melatonin's such a fucking time I hate it so much It's just not It's also what I was on this week too I took it like once What is your experience with it? Because it seems to vary from person to person I used to just get crazy dreams Now I get living coma

I feel every minute of the eight hours I am awake the entire time Oh that's really weird Well I will say that my experience with melatonin has been like fairly normal uh it just makes me fall asleep i don't know if this is related but i've like woken up in the middle of the night the last couple times that i took it but it's also i've also like been hungry when i've woken up so it might be related to that like melatonin's increasing your hunger or you're just also hungry i think it's just that i'm also hungry like similar to when i was like cutting calories i'd wake up in the middle of the night sometimes i'd be really really hungry uh and it's like that kind

of waking up you would wake up in the middle of the night like covering crumbs yeah no not again uh yeah yeah there's like an unconscious pizza guy i actually had a friend in uh college who i actually i used to live with them and they told me multiple stories of when they would come home drunk the next morning would find a pizza box in different parts of the house not always finished and not i'm not even talking like a wasted drunk i'm talking maybe six beers with the lads you know what i mean then you get home and he would find the pizza box with most of its slices that he clearly just got at some point but never in a single location never by the side of the bed never always in the just got at some point but never in a single location never by the side of the bed never always in the bathroom just at some point in the house and

like ah the pizza ghost has visited yet again the pizza pizza geist i woke up once with a bunch of choco taco wrappers around me are you familiar with what a choco taco is is it a sweet treat oh heck yeah it is wow is this a commercial and you're telling me they're only 4.99 available right now so wait uh a choco taco okay correct me if i'm wrong a choco taco is like a waffle cone that's that's like in the shape of a taco shell with vanilla ice cream. Correct. And the waffle cone is dipped in chocolate. You act like you've never had a choco taco before. I've never had a choco taco.

Oh my God, you are missing out. I am looking at an image of this. It's delicious. I can't, my eyes aren't capable of passing all of the information I'm seeing. First of all, there seems to be a mint edition of it that looks absolutely vile i've never had the mint edition what is going on with a real choco taco that's like a bougie choco taco um yeah also to add context it was my best friend's roommates choco tacos and so it was much worse yeah we ate all of those so like how much time were you deliberating whether or not you should eat your best friend's roommates choco tacos i don't think we spent any time

thinking about it so like roughly a million times longer than you spent deliberating whether or not you should slide over on the airplane yeah so like committing an actual crime was this like instant for you it would have helped if i was really drunk on there well no if i was really drunk on the airplane i probably would have like definitely tried to chat up the person next to me more i think i'm getting choco taco stockholm syndrome because i continue to look at uh pictures of them and i'm kind of wanting one a lot jordan they're delicious you would be you would love them do you oh that's really there's so much where do you hold it just like a regular taco.

Like the regular taco locations. You kind of eat around your hand. No, you just eat it like lateral. I will say that most food you do eat around your hand. Yeah. You don't bite straight through the fingers. Straight through your fingers. Sorry, it's an American thing.

Yeah. So the Choco Taco, you know what? My skepticism's gone. That looks right as hell. I think we should go get some after this. Yeah, sure. an American thing. So the Choco Taco, you know what? My skepticism's gone. That looks right as hell. I think we should go get some after this. Yeah, sure. I love diarrhea. So this will be perfect for me.

It's no worse than eating any of the other... A taco. Yeah. A taco taco. Any of the other things that give you diarrhea. It's no worse than like arsenic, if you're looking at it now. So now that we've covered that, which I believe was on the agenda, right? We wanted to talk about Draco Taco.

Trash time! Oh my god! Oh god, fuck, it broke my window. What you listeners are hearing was an ADR sound of a window breaking and something hitting the floor. Reminder that this is all a fucking illusion. And I'm controlling your perception of the world and your emotions uh i want to jump into what's very rapidly become my favorite part of the show pen pals now elizabeth are you familiar with a segment that we do called

pen pals i am actually how would you describe it i would describe it as um you have stalkers that like to write in and just tell you what you wore that week while they were watching you we prefer to call them stocco tacos stalkers uh yeah we have fans stalkers emotional perverts, people that write in that are listeners to the show. Stalker being added to the lexicon. I mean, it's kind of low stakes after emotional pervert. A stalker taco. Emotional pervert, stalker. Degree one murderer.

Degree one listener. Degree one murderer. Degree one listener. Degree one listener. But yeah, we have listeners that write in via a number of sources to ask us questions, to pose thoughts and present their own ideas on episodes they may have heard. We have so many avenues to do this. Jarvis, hit me. One. Two. Do you know how to?

Can we go again? Yeah, sure. Okay, here we go. Channels, you can get the... Send the questions. One. Channel one. Hmm?

Like TV? Like the first channel on TV? You said channels that you can get. Okay, sorry. That was my fault. I set you up poorly. Jarvis needs to be very clear when we do segments like this or else he gets upset. Okay.

What is the... Name one way that fans could send the pen pal. You know the message we were just talking about? One. Physical mail. I mean, that's not wrong. That is true. You could send the pen pal. You know the message we were just talking about? One. Physical mail. I mean, that's not wrong. That is true. You could send it via physical mail.

That wouldn't really work unless you knew where we lived, in which case you probably are a stalker taco. Number two, where else can they do it? They can call me on my phone, cell phone. You're talking about how we communicate. You used to call me on my phone. You used to call me on my phone. You used to FaceTime me.

Late at night. You used to rip me on my phone you used to facetime me late at night you used to rip open the facetime continuum late nights when i need your love there's so many places you can get in touch with us you can get in touch with us on the twitters over at sad boys pod you can get in touch with us on the emails at sadboyspod.gmail.com and you can get in touch with us on our brand new website via contact form which is very profesh. In fact, today we received the first pen pal from the contact form on sadboyspod.com. And boy does Squarespace make it sound appetizing. Subject line, form submission dash new form.

I feel, honestly, I feel stalked. I'm so excited. And I feel talked. Actually, I'll take that back because the actual subject line uh as the way it's been formatted via this was uh hi Justin which is always a nice way to kick off that's just a thing that Squarespace does Justin hi Squarespace um this is from Aaron Boyle maybe maybe and I'll let a few of the fans fight this out. Maybe the ultimate fan of the boys. I think there's no discussion.

Yeah. She's pretty. I mean, we've got very big fans, but none that we see every day that will grab us by the arm and stare us in the eyes, thus implicitly communicating how much they love the episode. None that tower over us with their warmth. Yes. And say very nice things to us us including what is in this message that i'm gonna read right now in fact elizabeth would you like to be the pen pals reader this time i would be honored it is it's gonna be an interesting one okay hi justin just listened to

the hard questions episode and found myself deeply empathizing with jordan's story about depression and crying at work you would think by now I would understand how depression and anxiety work, but every time I have a day where I'm just emotionally not stable, I desperately try to find a reason. Surely there's a reason. Surely I'm not just crying for no reason. Boys with a Z, this is why your podcast is so special to me. I see myself in your stories and anecdotes and that makes me feel less crazy. It reminds me that I am human and I am not alone, even when things don't make sense. Forever fam of the boys and hopeless EP. Emotional pivot.

I was like, oh God, I don't know what the second one stands for. Extended play. Yes. Forever fam of the boys and hopeless emotional pervert EP, Erin. Gosh, Erin. Oh, Erin. So, so sweet. Interesting that she sort of brought up what we talked about when we were talking about our weeks, right?

Yeah. That sensation of I feel bad, but I can't really pinpoint why. And I'm going to feel bad about that. compounding my bad feeliness yeah and just like uh being like emotional or feeling like your brain kind of doesn't care like what situation you're in sometimes it's not like you can't just like hold it in even if it's at work because it's everyone's situation is different and these things can just come these things can happen i had like a bit of an anxiety attack like just now uh about podcast logistics because i'm tired uh and podcasts are hard and and podcasts are hard you know and so uh i fully

you know i i just want to thank aaron thank Erin for writing in and sharing that with us because we totally love her. And her constant support. And this is actually a perfect example of why Pen Pals has quickly become my favorite segment on the show. And it's because I never want Pen Pals to seem like it's just some cynical bonus thing we put in. It's like, well, podcast got to have engagement. The kids love it. Put some kind of Q&A thing in. It's literally sad boys is a vehicle for pen pals this exists so that i can get messages like this actually we've had a huge uptick in pen pals lately a lot more messages

coming in all of them lovely and insightful and interesting please don't break the cycle by sending in a bad one if you're gonna send us our boys don't have a bad opinion have zero criticisms yeah make sure to only reach out if you love the show which i assume is everyone ever yeah and if you have any negative feedback for us don't well you can send it to us but make sure you switch the names instead of jarvis and jordan say jordan and jarvis i really hate jarvis's british accent um really he has nothing to contribute to the pod Yeah this actually comes up a lot From Jarvis

He'll say this a lot to me But thank you Aaron for being a sweetheart as always And an EP Forever EP But hey Elizabeth You're on the show for one reason and one reason alone And that's because you are a self-proclaimed, and you did say this five times.

Uh-huh. Today. Love guru. By Mike Myers. Yeah. Mike Myers. You're Mike Myers' love guru. The serial killer Mike Myers, right?

Yes. Sorry. The guy from Halloween. So this fact isn't well known, but the serial killer Mike Myers has actually recreated every movie that the actor Mike Myers was in. As a ploy. As a ploy. So Austin Powers starring serial killer Mike Myers. The love guru starring serial killer Mike Myers.

Actually, here's another genuine unknown fact that I just realized makes you perfect for this episode. You used to run a love advice tumblr is that right i think i thought that this is why you asked me to do this episode because of that oh it totally was um it wasn't because of your like weird personality that you were the only person that we could find on short notice i was standing outside of your house yelling looking through the blinds stalker taco in your hand yeah i used to have so my my tumblr which you know what i think tumblr gets knocked down for being like people don't take it takes a tumble okay it takes a tumble people people don't take tumblr seriously and i feel like this is going to

get a little bit deep that's related to how people like to make fun of things that generally have female audiences or viewers and like uh the internet's titanic yeah i i used to love tumblr and i still have a lot of love for tumblr um and my tumblr was originally just somewhere where i would like repost pictures that I thought were pretty and like occasionally post pictures that I had taken. And then, as I've mentioned, I really like writing and I would like write down my thoughts and then I would write really personal things about my relationships. And because of how personal I was getting about my relationships, people started to

just anonymously send me questions about their own relationships. And I became sort of accidentally like a relationship advice Tumblr. And I really loved it. Like if I could, I think I would just be like a relationship advice columnist. Wait, have you thought about kicking it off again? Because you don't do it right now, right? No. And it's really hard for me to think of even how i would start to do it again i i would love

to do it in a different form like not on tumblr like i would love to do it for a newspaper or something like just be carrie bradshaw just send them your old tumblr link and be like is this enough can i do it well here's an idea uh for a pilot send us your love questions and maybe we can have Elizabeth on and be our little love guru. I would love that so much. A little Mike Myers. A little tiny Mike Myers. Tiny mask. Tiny mask.

Tiny knife. Adorable little machete. So we're talking about dating today and we've brought Elizabeth, the love guru. Now an official title. Please change your Twitter name immediately. I'm sure it's not taken. Elizabeth the love guru? No, there's definitely another love guru.

I feel like if you just throw a Z in there. Yeah, loves guru. Loves guru. Elizabeth loves guru. I just really love gurus. Gurus with a Z. I thought it would be a great place to start with dating if we just briefly discussed our experiences with it like when was the first time you like went on a

date what has your experience been like that since since then just probably i don't want us to like out any you know uh old flames yeah oh i'm fully down to how many names yeah ssn's credit card numbers i as we've said i talked about my dating experiences very very loosely on the internet already so yeah names have been dropped people have already been mad at me for that so it's fine that bridge those bridges have already been burned oh great all right well some of us still have bridges. Bridges that I'm actually actively trying to rebuild. So I'm not going to be burning them.

Yeah. So maybe, Jordan, we could start with your dating experiences. Little old me. Little old you. Little old me. So weirdly enough, I actually don't think I ever went on a official traditional date until like three years ago. Okay. I think I'd always ended up in relationships or like ongoing dating scenarios with friends of friends or college buds, that kind of thing. It was never a case where I met somebody at a bar and went like, you seem interesting.

Follow up, hang out. Then we do a follow up, hang out, which is also partially just the result of being in college yeah right it's far more likely that you're going to end up with somebody that you've like met via osmosis right because you're meeting so many people and there's so many connections and everybody's trying to date everybody all of the time so it makes sense uh but i went on like my first actual date date like three years ago i was in um the hate and we just went and got coffee. And the entire time, I was distracted. It was a Tinder meetup.

Hate date? It was a hate date. I hated them. No, they were lovely. But we turned up, and the entire time, I was, like, distracted by the fact that I was on a date. And I couldn't stop thinking about it. I was like, well, I've dated people, but this was like a movie. Yeah, yeah. I was thinking, like, were you thinking about but this was like a movie yeah yeah i was thinking

like were you thinking about how you were in a movie they were also american yeah so i was like wait this is fucking weird this is such a meet cute and we met in a lift line mainly i thought you said you met on tinder i was wrong i'm now remembering this is actually pre-using any kind so sad boys actually has an unreliable narrator nothing that we've said is actually true it's for the true fans to catch out when jordan miss speaks uh but yeah i yeah it was it was a lift line meet up um i thought you said you were neighbors yeah sorry to clarify um we met on a fishing vessel in the 1920s it was a it was a lift line meet cute so that's actually just like a movie no wonder that is just like a movie that's a very millennial meet cute.

As a result, I asked her out and then we went for this one date. We never went on a follow up. There just wasn't much of a connection. But that might have been partially the result of me being distracted by the fact that I was in a rom-com. But yeah, ever since then. One thing I did want to touch on that maybe we can forward back to the two of you. Is that I don't love dating like the process and experience of going on a date is the least interesting part of the entire experience to me I like being in a

relationship I like doing interesting things with groups of people that can sometimes be somebody that I'm dating but the idea of getting kind of dressed up, looking good and meeting up at a neutral location is kind of unappealing to me to be totally candid. What is unappealing about it? Is it the fact that you have to do a lot of small talk and like kind of do this awkward dance before you get to like the good stuff? It's just not sincere enough, I guess. Like I feel, I mean, part of it's just the candor of dating, right? Like the pattern of how you communicate with somebody that you don't really know is always a little limited. And that I don't mind because it's necessary. I think the thing that I don't like so much is that no matter how much I've gotten to know somebody either on an app or offhandedly in person or via mutual friends, when you say you're going to meet up one-on-one in a neutral location and you don't already have a established relationship you are flipping a coin on whether you're about to lose five hours of your life that's the thing that really like i've been on multiple dates i was like this was nice but i

also could have played a watch wow that i have the opposite opinion on this which we can get into later yes no i don't want to get into it now? I freaking love dating. Like, I love my favorite part about, and I try to, like, keep this alive in my four-year relationship, which I think annoys my boyfriend. This, like, the feeling of, like, just getting to know someone is one of my favorite things in the world. You often just forget his name. Yeah. And we should clarify, he does not know that he is your boyfriend. No, I just stare at him from afar. Online. Yeah him from far. Online.

Yeah. Very far. You just stand near him and call lift lines. Time for a meek. Where are you going? No, but one of my favorite things is getting to, and this isn't just in a romantic way, but I think getting to know someone and like having

this person who you know has like all of these unique experiences and ideas and like complexities that you get to learn about and that you don't yet know is so exciting to me and from a bit of a narcissistic point of view i love the fact that like this person is exciting to excited to learn all of those weird intricacies about me and it's just so fun to like navigate that and one of my favorite things about dating especially in the beginning is that level of like uncomfort and uncertainty can be so exciting because when you're in a relationship with someone it's like you know what's gonna happen you know what they're gonna do before they kiss you or like there's none of that like tension of like is this gonna happen or isn't it gonna happen and i think that that tension alone is just so fun and exciting i can see i can definitely see the appeal of that maybe

i'm dating wrong because i'm gonna get into that yeah wait for the tips from the world guru coming up next starring michael myers on tvs starring freddie and jason um i have my issue with with first dates especially is that i just never get there in a first date everything feels so performative that like the moment that happens, that's pillow talk for me. That's like the moment I finally get to have a decent, like really insightful conversation. Because I want to know which parent you love more. I want to know like which animal you would be in order to like be a spy. Like I want these weird, ultra insightful, ultra bizarre questions that you don't really get to ask on that first date.

It just feels a little artificial for me. And it sounds like sounds like and jarvis you can be the arbiter on this the final decision um maybe i am the bottleneck there maybe i am the one not being aggressively open enough um i don't know if it's that i think it's like i agree with the performative aspect of like the first date and stuff but i am more similar to elizabeth where i enjoy the act of dating and sort of see things a lot in the way that she sees them i think for you and just speaking from like our conversations that we've had about dates yeah yeah yeah our dates um this is basically i'm really jealous that i haven't been on those dates yeah they're fun. Oh, that's because you weren't invited.

We technically kind of have a weekly date. Yeah. We do sad boys. Yeah, it's true. So I think for you, Jordan, now, this is like kind of getting into like sad boys. Maybe it's weird territory. I love it. I already love it.

This is where Jordan is comfortable in the weird. We're talking about which parent we love more. it's true which animal would you be if you was right i don't know when that was my example by the way that was so bizarre i i think that you are a disqualifier very early that's fair um and i think that in order to there's like a little bit of the boring like like there's this nice house that's like underground and you and your partner have to spend like the first date like digging to like get to like the door of the house until you can like experience like all the things that like live inside the house um and this is kind of goes back to um the uncomfortable questions that we asked each other on the last

episode so actually it's funny you bring this up because we actually got another pen pal request. We get a little double pen pal. Oh, I was going there actually, that someone asked me to ask you that. We got a request from, we got a request from Cindy, at underscore Cindy, C-I-N-D-E-A-N on Twitter. Yeah.

Requesting that I answer the same question from last week. I think it would be fun if Elizabeth did it as well. Yeah. The question is, what is the personal flaw you believe that kept you single for as long as it has or in my case keeps me single currently and so when i answer this question i talked about how i think i stay in these things too long uh because i don't want to like hurt anybody's feelings and i kind of like ride it out for like to my own detriment. And also we were talking

about like sort of the chase and how it's really exciting when you don't know if somebody likes you. Like when I know someone likes me, a lot of times that's like a turnoff weirdly. And I, it's really hard for me to tell if I'm like attracted to someone, if it's someone who I like am just physically attracted to and like think they're a friend. Cause that happens to me a lot. It's like a friend who I'm physically attracted to is not the same as like a potential relationship partner for me. Uh, but I think in your, uh, and I would love to hear your answer to this question. I, I think from what I, what we've talked about, it seems like, um, you're on the other side of the spectrum where if it doesn't

like click in or there are these like sort of hard outs uh yeah and i think that i think that that that minefield is very it's very easy to trip one of those minds in the first date because of the way that it is carried out it's it's definitely just a aggressive combination of being a very impatient person which i am just generally uh but also being i'm a i'm a fan of myself like in the least narcissistic way i like hanging out by myself like i i don't i'm definitely a more traditional introvert like if i am out and i am uh pushing myself outside of my comfort zone in order to engage with this person i can get turned off by it very quickly and that's

partially the result of as you mentioned being a quick disqualifier and it's also that for me at this point in my life and the relationship that relationships have to me the place the the hole that might be able to fill i need to be just elated it has to be the most exciting most obsessively exciting idea in the world that i could go on a second date with this person well i hope so like it would be so yeah but i i honestly have not been on a date like that for a very long time when was the last time that you felt like that a beginning of my last relationship which was like maybe a year and a half ago? No, two years ago. Yeah. About two years ago, late 2016. Christ, what are we in now?

It's 2018. Yeah, like it would have been mid-2016. And I think that was, that as like the reason I ended up being in that relationship was because that was a, oh, neat, this experience, this feeling. And ever since then, I don't feel like i've had that experience and what i can't really determine and this would definitely be my i think if i were to answer the floor question it would definitely be uh being impatient and being a heavy disqualifier uh my question to the two of you would be do you think there is a world where i dig a little deeper and then discover that passion no i think that you just haven't met the right person and you aren't in a place in your life to meet that person yet. I think that you are on your, and you too Jarvis,

I think anyone that's single for a certain extended period of time, you need to be single right now. And you are like building yourself so that you can be your very best version of yourself and that's when you're gonna meet the person that is going to make you feel that way and the cool thing is that you're gonna be completely complete like you said uh something about like someone that's gonna fill something in your life and it won't be someone that fills something in your life you won't need anything filled in your life. You will be completely whole. And that person also will be completely whole.

And you won't need one another. It'll be someone that just is like, not the whole ice cream sundae, but the cherry on top of the ice cream sundae. Desire the love. Sorry, I just want to throw that jingle because that was excellent uh but i i definitely do feel like at this point in my life desire and need do not meet availability like i probably could find a relationship if i really put the grind on yes

it's maybe like the fifth or sixth most interesting thing that i could do with my life at this point anyone if you wanted to get into a relationship today you could people are online yeah yeah like i mean it's not like if you really really were just like okay i'm just gonna get into a relationship and that's a whole other problem that other people encounter which is like they just get into their like serial daters i think that is like a whole other slew of issues well some people associate being in a relationship with personal value exactly yeah like it is an absence of something yeah and i think it's actually healthier to you know you're you're going on a journey of like dating multiple people

hoping to find that feeling and not feeling it but you're learning something about yourself along the way that is necessary and you're like supposed to be here right now and supposed to be feeling this. And I swear, as soon as you like, I mean, you already don't care about like finding someone, but when you just are like, I don't even need this.

Like I feel so good. I'm on the top of the world. You're going to meet someone. You probably won't even really like want to get into a relationship with them. It'll just be like ridiculous for you to not be in a relationship with them the love all i want to add to that and i i want to get elizabeth's opinion as well is that going back to your original question of should i give it a little more time or will it be instant i think i disagree um Elizabeth, at least on the instantaneous thing, for the reason that the way that we meet – like you've had this experience – tell me if you've had this experience where you – someone's in your circles and you like are acquaintances and you don't really know them and you get to know them. And then as you get to know them, or maybe they've been a friend for a long time,

you can start to develop feelings for them. Um, I feel like with dating apps, you don't have that opportunity of like sort of bumping together for, uh, enough time to build a rapport absorbing via osmosis yeah yeah and so you you kind of jump you start with i'm attracted to you and you jump into this date scenario from there and i don't think that that is the most conducive thing to building a relationship because if you um i like

i i don't pretend i'm not the love guru over here but but uh sorry if you if you want to have a relationship that is a like a friendship also and that is a friendship first i feel like there is a baseline that you like kind of have to step into slowly that like i don't i don't know how you get there without like I think that there needs to be excitement in order to get there and I so I don't disagree there it's just that I I kind of feel like if you if you put me in a first date scenario with all my relationships I don't know that after that first date I would be like yep uh but I think that like because of the scenario under which I became comfortable with them and the way that I got to know them before entering a relationship, then that made it possible. I definitely align that, though.

I might have to contest that while I might not have had that experience with any of my relationships to this point, all of my relationships to this point have had a due date. And for me, a major contributor to that, not that necessarily having a due date devalues a relationship. I'm not a big fan of that. No, a due date is you're having kids. A due date is just when one of you expires. Wait, to clarify, by due date, you mean like it ran its natural course or that you were like needed to, you were moving and it was like this is going to end?

I would say the the former yeah um a natural we have reached our expiration date it is just over we have found our climax for that reason i don't ascribe a lot of value to those relationships in the same way like i i want to meet that person that blows my socks off to the degree where it makes me re-evaluate my approach to dating i never ever want to be in a position where I'm saying, well, this person seems great. Unfortunately, I didn't hang out with them much. We met on a dating app. I'm sure over time I can find myself falling in love with them. Because even if that evolves into something interesting, I will never be able to scratch the itch in the back of my mind that there is another person out

there that would have been the instantaneous connection. that's what that's kind of what i was speaking to too is not that i agree like i mean the way that i my current relationship is someone that i was friends with and like knew before and got to like have a level of comfort with before we started dating but i still think that you have to have that initial like oh my god i really want this and you just know in your bones it's like something that you cannot describe in words like you just even if it's someone that you were friends with initially it's just like this intense desire to and like i said it's not even that you're like oh i i have to be in a relationship with them it's just like we would be so stupid if we didn't do this right like it's not even that it's like a choice

it's like yeah of course you're the person that i want to be with because i would be insane to not just to quickly clarify uh i really just mean like i'm more likely to give a second date if if i'm unsure but it's not it's not like sort of stay in it for the long haul or anything like that on any random person you meet because I that I don't believe that's like productive no I think that's I think that's a totally rational separation point like you are you have that feeling of optimism and that there may be something worth exploring yeah and my disqualification point is in the I not a 10 yeah which is not necessarily healthy i think i've been both of you when i was single like i would yeah you dressed up as us yeah yeah you were able to

reuse a lot of the same you know makeup yeah and then i just had everyone probably just in the whole night very little change between the outfits and the glasses are quite similar you just did i mean let's call it a pretty offensive i wasn't gonna say it but oh blimey what were you gonna ask me you gave me this weird urban accent yeah you carried around a gat which seems like really inaccurate it was pretty weird uh and you were just playing you mean justin sorry um Jarvis, right? You mean Justin? Sorry. The question I was going to ask you is sort of like a jump off of the idea that now you are in a relationship, but clearly there was a point in your life where you were in a similar position where I have this thing that's getting in the way.

Now, I think it's fair to say that none of us, maybe you were prior to you being with lover boy Aaron. But I take the case of me and Jarvis, it's not something we're dependent of us, maybe you were prior to you being with, with lover boy Aaron, but I, I take the keys of being drivers. It's not something we're dependent on. I feel pretty happy being single. Like it's. Yeah. I feel like I,

you know, going back to, um, the love gurus, amazing, uh, the love gurus, amazing soliloquy,

uh, about, um, about when you, you know, you'll find the person when you don't need it and and when it's your life is complete without like the force it's true yeah close your eyes everything around you is the love um so uh i used to be in a place in my life where I was trying to fill that need, just kind of check that box.

And I think that it was due to a lack of greater meaning and purpose and just looking for something to work on and being like, well, this is a thing that I don't have that I think I want. But it's like it wasn't really motivated by anything other than checking that box whoa this is gonna sound pretty cuckoo bananas let me know if it is i think i was never big on the idea that i needed a relationship but i think my craving went down after we started the podcast i genuinely think like the fulfillment I get from either a creative or work project is fulfilling part of that desire. Yeah. Maybe you're getting your emotional fulfillment from your good friend, Justin. And sexual.

Yeah. It's a heavily sexual component of the show. So a couple of things. One, to finish my earlier point. Now, I don't feel the need really at all. I'm in the same boat as you, Jordan. Uh,

two, uh, I don't know when this happened that people started calling me Justin. Uh, that is just a Jordan thing. And I don't know why people have started using it as just a shortcut to refer to both of us. Hey, this Justin,

it is convenient to save time and potential, uh, social for par by just saying, it takes away the awkwardness of accidentally mixing youtube up which you would never do so don't even ask and and lastly uh i have had a similar experience i think you know what i think it is is that you like by finding these interests like with the pod and for me with youtube stuff, I just am aware that there's other things out there that can fulfill me. And it's no longer like this is the only path to meaning.

Right. Like I feel like when I saw a lot of my friends buying houses and like getting a dog and getting married and having kids, it was like that is the path to meaning and then as i experienced more as i met more people doing different stuff um and brushed shoulders with them i was able to be like oh i actually have found something that like satisfies me that is completely unrelated to romantic relationships so much so that i had this like conversation because i i've been like you know doing a little casual dating here and there. But it's like, honestly, like I I've got the dating apps now, but like it's busy. It's busy work now. It's like the same way that I mean, yeah, it's admin.

It's the same way that I would like hit refresh on my like Twitter feed is that I like I guess I'll go like see what's up on the dating apps. But it used to just be like, all right, it's 7pm and I'm home from work. Time to put in work. Time to put in the elbow grease. So, and yeah, so I... Time for a job I don't get paid for. And in fact, sometimes pay for. Yeah, good point. And I was having a conversation with somebody where they asked me, you know, what are you looking for? And I wasn't't i don't have an answer to that question i'm not looking for anything i think i'm out there

because the of the situation that like elizabeth described where like things just click and it like makes sense but for in general i'm not like yeah in general, in general, I'm not like sort of searching for something. You know what's interesting? So you kind of were asking me about whether or not, were you going to ask me about whether or not I felt like I needed that? I was going to ask you what you feel like your flaw or block of war is your relationship. But it's kind of. Yeah, no, it's definitely. Well, OK, so I was just thinking about this while you were both talking about whether or not you felt like you needed a relationship to fulfill you.

And I think like the female experiences, I hate saying female, but like the experience as a woman. The lady experience. That's much better. The maxi pad experience. We have two E's for explicit on our podcast now this podcast is sponsored by maxi pad maxi pad the pad that you with all the absorption powers use it to hold your truck otaku really i i use i use maxi pads to mop my floor. Good work. Probably. I use them.

Yeah. Just basically anything. But yeah, like as a woman, I think you're taught at a very early age that relationships are what fulfills you. I literally remember being five years old and watching princess movies and just thinking that I was going to be valued and complete when I had a prince. Yeah. And I was like, i've always been very boy

crazy so that also like made things worse but i've definitely felt like i needed a relationship to fulfill me or or not even necessarily a relationship but just like continual validation that i was romantically or like sexually desired and And the last really serious relationship I had before Aaron was my freshman year of college. But we had kind of like an on and off thing for three years. And a huge reason why we continue to see each other, even though we were really horrible for one another was just because I think I thought that he was the person that was going to give me that validation and if you kept grinding on it maybe it would yeah release like and i had just attached so much meaning and value to him specifically because he was like this

image of everything that i really wanted when i was a teenager and like never met or had nice ass yeah yeah exactly i identify with that so much but yeah so i for three years i was like single but still had this person in my life and so it felt like i was kind of in a relationship and and every person that i would date during that time was just an effort for me to kind of like forget this other person. And I was like having a lot of vengeful experiences with other people to try to, to cleanse myself of this other person and this other experience. And all of that was rooted out of this thing, this feeling that I was only going to be complete and I was only going to be valued and I was only going to be worthwhile if someone else loved me. And it didn't matter if I was smart or talented

or funny or good at anything else. What was the most important was that I was valued in a romantic relationship. And that is not a unique experience for so many women. All those other traits are just informing that yes yes you found a man because you're funny exactly yeah and and what's so sad is that is not a unique experience for for a lot of women and it wasn't until i started to like really have an identity outside of that that i became really happy and then funnily enough got into another relationship because of that well i got out of it and i was miserable and then i fell in love and i was happy immediately wait wait all girls should do this this is the way to be happy i uh just want

to say that i like really identified with the part of that story where you're talking about how this person who's in your life like and it's like destructive, but it represents something that you want. Yeah. Like that was basically my last relationship where I wasn't, it wasn't functional at all. But I was so afraid to lose it because of what it represented. I was like, no, this is what you wanted. This is now you have it. So hold on for dear life, even though it makes you sad. Yeah, it's wild. And I think it's funny because though it makes you sad yeah it's wild and i think it's funny because when you're in that it's like you kind of realize that you're that for that

person too like the whole time the narrative for me was like oh god this guy's like such an asshole but like i'm so in love with him and i like can't help it but i think for him too it was probably like this girl is ruining my life but like for some reason i can't let her out of my life and we were just like holding one another down yeah yeah and and kind of like the uh habitual stuff we were talking about earlier like man i feel miserable but i don't know why and but because i feel miserable and i don't know why i feel miserable at that cycle i i've seen happen i fortunately i don't think i've ever been in a relationship quite like that but I've seen a lot of my friends do that and it seems like it it it's self-feeding in the same way it's like an Ouroboros of well I've put in all this time I can't stop trying this and then I

would say it's even a darker sadder thing than that that you just get addicted to that pain like I associated that feeling pain with feeling love and i was like well because i feel so much even if it's like very negative the fact that i'm like sobbing crying over this guy means that i'm in love with him and i don't feel like sobbing crying over all these other guys that i'm going on mediocre dates with so that means that like this is the most passionate i've ever felt about someone so it must be this is a soap opera i'm feeling i'm feeling feelings doesn't matter what the feelings are they're just happening yeah and you do get addicted to pain like it's it's sad because like you a lot of people that come from like destructive or abusive backgrounds like get they only know that and you put yourself in that

cycle and it's really easy to be in like a constant cycle of destructive relationships because it's the only thing you associate with you associated pain not not only with love but with like acknowledgement people it's better that he's always furious and upset with me because he knows i'm here you mentioned um princess movies being an influence for you and now you've also mentioned soap operas jarvis i'm curious but kind of a two-part question what do you feel like like were the most common misconceptions or not even necessarily misconceptions, but most pervasive ideas that were forced into your brain? Oh, I have such a good one for this.

And it's like my only regret with dating too is that you need to be, as a girl in a heterosexual relationship, you need to be the cool girl and that must have been really hard for you yeah it was so hard because it's definitely not cool um and there's like such a great part in um gone girl about this the movie not the books i don't read so i don't know um but but she like goes into this whole thing about like being the cool girl. And this was like, so I feel like this is reinforced in every single romantic comedy or sitcom, especially like the Manny Manic Pixie Dream Girl trope of like, you need to be funny and aloof and sexy, but not too sexy and brilliant and talented. And you can cook a five course dinner. Like you just need to be everything.

And not just like everything you also need to not give a fuck about anything that your man is doing like oh honey like you want to ruin the house and like not see me for five days i don't mind i'm the cool girl i'm not bothered by anything i'm never gonna get mad at you about anything you have to be like an affixture to his life yeah oh this is steve and i'm steve plus it's it's like the exact like jigsaw piece like component to steve like oh you you go out on tuesdays with your boys i mean what are the odds i go out on tuesdays with my girls yeah so we there's no conflict here it's impossible to have one i'm not being a problem which women are designed to be but not me

cool girl not like all those other problems that you've in had in your life in gone girl i'm just wondering because there's like so many potential definitions of the cool girl i feel like most of it just relates to not disrupting the lifestyle of another human being like which is so fucking stupid it's a relationship or disrupting the lifestyle of a guy specifically a man the guy yeah the guy who's in charge that whole this messed up philosophy. This is an everyday normal man. He likes to do sports with his buds. He likes to drink beer with his buds. He likes to play video games with a headset on.

Why are you shouting at me, babe? Yeah. He doesn't do anything he doesn't want to do. If you ask him at all to do anything that he doesn't want to do you're a selfish his brain literally can't understand 21st century fox presents the whitest man in the world starring owen wilson wow cool girl turns out but he's like wow but when you say cool girl you're sort of defining that in this particular case and in the case of Gone Girl as one of the guys. I'm going to go to a strip club and I don't even care.

I'm not being intrusive on your lifestyle. Yeah. And not even necessarily. I think the cool girl is like different in every movie interpretation. Sorry, was that a cool teen version of relationship? Relationship? I don't know. Wait, no, you should have carried that off because the love guru would know all the hip slang.

Love guru, love guru, talk about your relation. Yeah, babe, I think we should define the relation. Please say that. Def the relation. Def the relation. Def the relation. That's like what happens when you put like sweet pickles on a hot dog. Def the relish. Oh dog you def the relish oh you did the relish

um yeah wait what were we talking about finding the relation uh we were talking about definitions of the cool girl yeah um i think sometimes she's like one of the guys but also you have to be wary of that because if you're too bro-ish then you're not as attracted attractive and desirable so it's very confusing you have to be everything and not too much of anything but you also very much don't have to do this exactly that's the media is telling you to yeah it's really messed up yeah this is like it created so many problems in my early relationships where i was like oh i can never bring up anything that i have problems with or else he's going to dump me.

Like I can't ever say like I'm upset about something because he's going to just think I'm so annoying. I'm getting dumped. And then I would get dumped because I would never talk about anything and then it would just bubble up and turn into a huge problem. So the moral of the story is fuck being the cool girl. Just be whoever you are and someone

will be very into whatever that is hell yeah it's your relation yeah define your relation the way you want to define it definitely your relish uh young juggies how about you media representation that screwed with your noggin well uh i guess the first thing that came to my mind when you originally asked the question is just that I am not like attractive enough. That was your perception. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That to for anyone today, because I like just wasn't like at least when I was younger, I don't even think now like conventionally attractive.

So I like didn't know of anybody who was like ugly and like dating and i don't think i'm ugly now but i like it really affected my like view of myself yeah uh and even even still i like have like the first place my um brain goes is that i'm just like i'm just like not attractive so therefore all of like my relationship problems are like downstream from that. Which is cuckoo. But it doesn't matter what I say. It's your own perception. I don't want to tell you how to think about yourself.

No, tell me. Oh, sorry. Okay. You're a sexy gentleman. Yeah, you're a handsome, handsome man. You cut diamond with that jawline. And I've seen you do it. Have you seen your YouTube comments?

Everyone wants to date you. From me, specifically? Have you seen my YouTube comment? But yeah, no. So that was just like always a thing that I've been like self-conscious about. And is the reason, I think, like kind of led to a like a basically making me feel like i had to hold on to whatever i could get because there wasn't a lot out there for me and like anything that i got was just like pure luck wow recurring theme yeah like i mean obviously different stimuli like in your case

it's i have to just be the best all the time because i'm not attracted to be this person in your case it was more along the lines of like can't bring up can't not be the cool girl because they'll just leave immediately like yeah well yeah and then on the flip side or sort of adding to the i guess male uh or at least my perspective uh from the media perceptions that elizabeth was talking about i there's like this thing in media that like uh well the funny guy is long like it doesn't matter if he's like a pile of trash as long as he's like funny or successful yeah in bd um and so i was like i've always been really hard on myself about being successful uh because if i ever like wasn't good at something or wasn't able to i don't know be the best at something i would immediately where my brain would go is like well

i mean you're undeserving of love because of this right because you're not uh the best at literally everything you want to do and attractive you can't have nice things i mean we've talked about this before right like defaulting to the worst possible scenario oh yeah and if you have genuine fear that you're going to be alone for the rest of your life i mean this weirdly enough the last time we talked about this when we talked about my zoc doc addiction yeah where if i web md something technically there's no more reason that the pain on the right side of my stomach wouldn't be indigestion versus cancer but i default to cancer because that is the thing i am most scared of we default to oh this will stop all of my relationship prospects and i'm going to lose my job and i'll have to

be back to the uk because that's the thing i'm scared of not because it's the more rational choice yeah i yeah i immediately go to i'm going to lose everything i've built and i'm uh unworthy of anything yeah yeah this is the moment i knew it the whole time but finally proof yeah yeah it's definitely that i knew it the whole time and like sort of looking for that confirmation of your like insecurities a negative confirmation bias for imposter syndrome how about you jordan uh hit you with your own question oh jesus yeah sorry why did you engrave it on stone i'm a hard ball player. Jeez. Bitch. But yeah, misconception I got from pop culture.

It's funny that you mentioned the funny guy one. I actually hadn't thought about that, but that is so prevalent. Yeah. The one that I actually have, because we've sort of had interesting perspective from the young female pop culture experience, and we found one from the young male pop culture experience. I have kind of a middle ground one in that till I was, I want to say like 12, maybe 13.

It depends how old Glee is. I'm going to make a Glee reference. In the first season of Glee, which is an excellent show. Again, another show that people only dislike because it's intended for women. Yeah, I agree. It's demographic is predominantly female. It got a little messy.

It got a little messy towards the end. But in the beginning, I liked it. For what it's, Glee started in 2009. Did it? Wow wow you just knew that off the top of your head yeah i used to watch it in college in college new episodes of glee were coming out yeah i was like wait how old am i anyway there wasn't a point in my life where in one of the episodes in the first season of glee the cheerleader who gets pregnant i forget her name diana agron's character quinn right quinn diana diana and emma roberts two different people yeah yeah sorry both um but yeah something that she i believe references is that men and women want sex just as much as one another and like i know that sounds obvious and like and like an

inconsequential statement at this point but that is constantly miscommunicated to young dudes. You know, and- And women, actually. Yeah, I'm so glad you brought that up because it's so- Because women don't want sex at all. No, we do not. It's like, we just really want to have babies. So it's something that we have to do to fulfill our desire to just be moms.

Now, I've read some pretty convincing forums online that say that women are just inherently evil and they're actually trying to trap me into giving me alimony. Yeah, yeah. Or that they don't want to do any jobs that are very difficult out of choice. Yes. Yeah, yeah.

So like they don't want to be, they don't want to enter any STEM fields because they just think it's gross. Choosing not to, yeah. They instead choose something easy like children. I forgot that you were the Google manifesto person i am james demore um no but i'm so happy that you brought that up because um that has always been i think it's something that still needs to be debunked for the majority of adults like men and women alike um and it's so frustrating as a woman like to come up against that stereotype of like yeah

we do want to have sex just as much as men do treating women's sexuality and again we're generalizing to a pretty heteronormative setup and and that's just the limitations of people on the show today we'll probably do a follow-up episode with we'll definitely do a follow-up episode with somebody from the lgbt community so we can get more perspective but the sexual dynamics as defined by years of patriarchal dominance have created this world where female sexuality is like just acceptance it's just like fine well you've earned it or like the guy gets back from the pub he's like come on baby give me a little love and he's like fine you oh you took me on a nice vacation? You've earned sex.

Yeah. Oh, God. Sex is for men and women are fine with it. And if they really love you, they'll enjoy it. The entitlement. The entitlement is like so gross. But also like there's men that are less interested in sex than some women are. Like it's just.

Yeah, people are different. Yeah, imagine that. That's the takeaway. I don't are different. Yeah, imagine that. That's the takeaway. I don't buy it. It doesn't matter. People like some things more than other people do. I mean, I could get into a whole thing about how it's just wild that women aren't allowed to have any sexual agency because then that makes them a harlot.

Yeah. I believe that's what they get called. You know when you're out on a night out and there's some rough lads that are like, you bloody harlot. Yeah. I believe that's what they get called. You know when you're out on a night out and there's some rough lads, they're like, you bloody harlot. Look at that strumpet. And they hop in their carriage and ride away. A fucking squib. They hop in their carriage and ride back to the 1920s. I thought a strumpet was like a pastry for the longest time like a crumpet

it's an erotic crumpet yeah that sounds nice actually no i i thought you could kill people with a bun and and you can it's just a very slow process slower and a lot messier yeah um you can get a celiac with a bun which is why i'm raising money for bun control there's an episode title wait i want to get in back into the things that you feel are inhibiting you both from having getting into relationships right now honestly i think we kind of covered it in the like i'm a disqualifier and jarvis is a yeah i mean like the main thing for me is that yeah is that i'm a little bitch no honestly like this is gonna sound sad but like i just don't like the i the the i did there's just not it doesn't seem like it's like happening for me

you know so it's like i if it happens cool but like i just don't you know i'm on dating apps and that doesn't seem to be going anywhere and like there's not like i'm not meeting a whole lot of new people and so it's just like the pipeline isn't very like big i'm not in a rush or anything you know yeah uh it's just yeah it's just not how it's just not in the cards right now at some point in the future i think it would be fun to do like a follow-up episode with elizabeth where you review our dating profiles yes your love guru skills and by this point you will have set up your blog again and will be providing love advice i think i i well my blog is still up i just need to convert it back into a love advice blog hell yeah that'll be your homework for the week hey and speaking of homework jen jarvis yeah yeah you

want to give some homework to our listeners this week they got a lot to chew on. Yeah. So there's a lot to chew on here. And that's the end. Good night. No, I think for the listeners who want to take a more active role in their sad boys listenership, the homework for this week is to write in the thing that is keeping you from your goals. No, just kidding. The homework for this week is to write in some of your dating misconceptions that you had. Maybe they're from the media.

Maybe they're from, I don't know, your friends or your parents or... Maybe they're still screwing with you right now. Yeah. Yeah, let's talk about it. Maybe it's that you fell in love with us and you can never find a love as potent or powerful as listening to sad boys every week where jordan can these uh these listeners these uh stalkers i believe these stocco tapas yeah i mean it's done it's canon it's not up to us whether or not that becomes one of the names because I like it being stocko.

I like the idea that Sad Boys is recorded in a living room with blinds that are open and our listeners are 25 feet away in another building with binoculars peering in on our intimate discussion. I also can't wait to have a Choco Taco after this. I don't believe they really exist, and I'm excited to see the evidence via photograph. Elizabeth, why don't you tell us

where the hell people can send stuff to sad boys? So if you have a carrier pigeon, that could work. Yeah, that carrier pigeon could send a tweet. No, I just Googled it, and carrier pigeons went extinct In like the 80s Heck, okay, well in that case I guess you could just use the internet At

Via email, you can contact us at Sadboyspod at gmail.com On Twitter you can hit us up at Sadboyspod On Facebook you can find us at Sadboys Is that correct? And if you're looking for our website well that's sadboyspod.com hell to the yes Jarvis I hate sad boys how can I just get more Elizabeth

um you can follow me at seamlessly lovely which is my Instagram and my Tumblr so if you go back far enough you can find all my deep star secrets yeah how far back would you have to go to find the dating oh god i don't know i i feel like at least i honestly don't think i've talked about anything since aaron and i started dating so like four years ago now uh jordan you asked me and elizabeth answered so i say elizabeth where could you find jarvis's uh internet persona if you were interested? Mad. Now you answer. Okay. I address Elizabeth and now Jordan answers.

Okay. I'm going to address the cat as I answer. Diva, you can find Jarvis's contact as known by Elizabeth at Jarvis on Twitter, at Magic Jarvis on Instagram? That's correct. Hell to the yes. What's the YouTube? On YouTube, Diva, you can find Jarvis at Jarvis Johnson.

That's me. And you just released a hot new video that's getting quite a bit of traction, my friend. That's why I don't code anymore. Oh, it's a great video. That's fine. It's a big spoiler. And I'm in it, briefly, if you want some of me. And we might be shooting another one this weekend.

That should be fun. Which will mostly be me. Yeah. This will be why i don't code ever why i never coded in the first place i'm still done um so with that done i think that's the end of sad boys yeah uh i think we finally wrapped up our 21 episodes of topics and there's just nothing more to say. Well, I mean, the thing that was bringing me sadness is like not knowing why I'm not in a relationship. And now that's been answered by the love guru. Love guru. You're welcome.

What's next, love guru? I think you need to delete all your dating apps. Just like travel really far away from society and yeah die alone oh cool that was the wrap-up to that i thought maybe there was some sort of profound discovery i'm feeling a catharsis but i don't know why i feel a sense of closure dying i can give i can give a profound wrap-up okay yeah just continue to follow the things that bring you joy and love in your life and the people that are meant to be in your life will follow the love guru the love guru now we end every episode of sad boys with a particular phrase elizabeth we're gonna need your help on

this one yeah and actually i want everybody listening to say it out loud regardless of location i know for a fact that erin boyle was because she a real motherfucking listener yeah i don't know who that guy was he sounds constipated that's that's the uh that's the jarvis that elizabeth portrayed portrayed yeah yo what's up yeah I'm learning C++ we love you and we're so

sorry boo so boo you We're going.