Sad Boyz - Forcing Lawyers To Judge Food Crimes (w/ Lolo & Olay)

Episode Date: April 27, 2024

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Welcome to Sad Boys, a podcast about feelings and other things also. I'm Jarvis. I'm Jordan. And we're joined today by two very special guests. Rank them. Who's first? Number one. I'll tell you at the end. Stay tuned. For that, to my right, we have Olay. Hey! To Olay's right, we have Lolo. Hello.

Hello. The host of... I don't know how this works. You need a little bit of kind of like stage-style kinetic mic work. Hey, is this thing on? I've never...

What is this? That's a good stand-up. A five minutes of what is this? I'm a baby. They're our friends. They're lawyers. They're content creators

in their own right. Alex does TikToks, I guess. Olay is like a real YouTuber. Thank you. Yeah, yeah. Does the real content. So medium. Alex has a podcast.

Olay has two podcasts. Thank you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So 100% me. Yeah, that can't feel good. I like those. You feel ostracized. That's why.

We get to be on the couch. We segregated ourselves. Don't sit on the couch. This is kind of a seminar. If you've got any questions about, you know, getting to the kind of place we're at. Thank you so much for that. I appreciate that. Me, I have one podcast.

So that's not, I guess I can just sort of, I'm like a relatable everyman i'm just on another one of ole's podcasts only has her own and then she's like you can have one right you're my white friend you can have a separate white podcast it's like when you give a baby like um a pretend typewriter or whatever oh look you're doing something. Oh where's the store? Swipe the card. It's like two inches thick. I do really come in and like hijack things like that though. Alex

came to me like oh we should do like we should call and shoot the shit. And I was like yeah yeah yeah. He just gets a link. It's a little bit of a. When did we record this? Looks different. Feels different. You don't have the account information. We replaced you with AI.

But your face and name can still be on it. Can I replace some of the lines? This is racist. We don't know how to do that yet, sorry. What brings you both to LA? I'm actually here for a friend's wedding. And then I figured we should see other friends and make stuff. Yeah, and you forgot your dad's birthday.

Hey, don't say that! You did. You did. It was crazy. No, nobody called me. I called him. It didn't give that. I didn't see it ring. I will say it is pretty bad. It's pretty bad. I'm not going to lie. It's pretty bad. My mom texted me

and they're separated. And she's like, it's your dad's birthday. And I was like, oh yeah, it is my dad's birthday. I guess you're even more separated from your dad. He's had so many birthdays. 79. He's an old guy.

You overheard the conversation. He said, I've only got 8.45 years left statistically. That's what he said to me. He did say that. He did say that. And you said, so you'll try to spend some time with him. I'm like, well, hopefully we can hang out before then.

You're like, I'll check my calendar. See if I can find some time. I am going to L.A. every single April. The next eight years, I believe. Sorry, man. It's tough. Let's call him. But also, I've quit my job

recently. We can talk about that too but so I've been. Congrats. A job of being a good son. You were fired I think. No I was let go. That's why they have another son. You're talking to your dad. I'm not fired I quit. Your severance is getting a new dad.

Yeah, I'm a bad son. It's okay. I'm worse. I don't know where mine is. Oh, my God. Let me call John. But, yeah, I'm just finding myself. How's it be on the, you're free.

It's all jazz now. For people who didn't know, you're a man, you're a lawman. I'm a lawman, yeah. I was a public defender for four years. And now you're a public offender. Yes. With your father. With my dad.

In public places. I guess that helps. Problems. Making TikToks. No. I don't do that. I don't do that. Let's cut that shit out.

He does do that. I'm going to make some calls. Joe, ban it. Oh, yeah. So I'm going to be double unemployed. Bad timing. That's what Hassan said to me. He said,

now you're going to be double unemployed because they've just literally today, he signed the paper, Biden, to ban TikTok. Oh, not Hassan about his son co-signed it oh geez yeah he really does i i validate your feelings friend thank you i'm sorry for you ole uh how has la been for you do you come you don't come out here a lot do you for work like here and there they they bring me out i'm a little bit of la hater but i am kind of liking it this time like i like that like

windiness yeah it makes me feel like you know an emperor's new groove when they go to go be with poncho you know up there that's what that makes you feel like that's what uh i mean we can say the address how windy is it and what kind of coordinates let's do like the x coordinates but not the y yeah yeah wait let's all say the address at the same time yeah i was it my fault i wasn't trying to i wasn't trying to no you didn't i do be like talk to myself though like my editor be like hey, you said that thing about that place is near your house. You want to leave that in?

Yeah. They like don't want to. They don't want it. They're like, you pay my bills. But like, do you? Is that no purpose? You know, it's crazy. The cut did a piece on me and they and they were like, oh, when they did the fact check, they were like like yeah um i wanted to include that part like you took the bohemian flag down from your from your place that like nypd wouldn't know where you live

and i was like so you want to put that in the piece she was like no no no they won't find you they're famous for not doing that they just to be clear they 100 know where ole lives i've been to her apartment before they are like just sitting outside of your apartment especially after the adams thing hello i am a regular citizen it is nice to see you oh i enjoy the newspaper i'm reading it with two holes in it speaking of the adams thing so you're uh York based. Yes. And very recently you, how do I put this? Dismantled Eric Adams on The Breakfast Club. The mayor of New York.

For now. Dragged that man straight to hell. So I think you're the mayor of New York. It's like in a video game where you get all of his items. Yeah. Yeah. No, that was lit. That was crazy. You're the mayor of New York. It's like in a video game where you get all of his items. Yeah, no, that was lit. That was crazy. Yeah, so that was cool. If anybody wants to watch a train wreck that happened in slow motion, check that out. To watch someone run up to the front of the train and grab the controls.

No, it is beautiful. It feels like a nice little career defining moment it's real great i'm like i think once the once i asked my first question like how do you reconcile that and he like squirms in the chair that's what i'm like oh fuck that let's go yeah i was like oh okay you're you're regular you're mortal i got this because he thought he was coming in for like a fluffy like i'm to high five the blacks or whatever. 100%. What's up, my guys?

Brothers. I've got an earring. Let's go. I'm like, yeah, no, it didn't go that way that day. Hello, brother, cousin. I was like, yo, the more a man calls you sister, the more he wants to slap the shit out of you. But hey, that sister had so much heat on it is there i mean we obviously we've joked about it but is there was there like a period of adapting and

going like oh i've this is intense the world is now aware of something oh i oh i got pissed i really pissed off my bd for real yes no for sure for sure like when my pd i i was nervous about it like real life nervous for like the first two weeks like especially that weekend my boyfriend I was like stay in the house and stay in the house my boyfriend had the nerve to be like you want to go to this protest I was like do you want to give NYPD a gift I was going every NYPD account right now look who they're tweeting like no they would i was like no no no we're not gonna we're not gonna do that i might have to change my hair like i was highly i was

highly nervous like please lock the door lock the door you should change your haircut and then see if you can find any kind of like thumb style white guy looking at a polaroid and then back at you? Like, I don't... Right. Huh? Nah, not her. That can't be right. Brunette? The big white band, the dudes in, like, headsets. Like, yeah, dialing in on radios. The heft sounds completely different.

I was like, oh, my gosh. Very, very... And then Eric Adams has my number because Charlamagne was like, exchange numbers, and so we did it next. And I was just like, what's his number by the way?

Say it right now. I'm always like, how does a wiretap work? That's what I'm hearing. I was thinking about like, Hmm, I wonder if they build it in case against you. Yeah.

I feel like that when Charlamagne saying, here's her number, that's, I feel like he doesn't, maybe, maybe he does know. I'm like, you can't be that ignorant. Charlamagne really thinks like, he was like that. When Charlamagne's saying, here's her number, I feel like he doesn't. Maybe he does know. I'm like, you can't be that ignorant. Charlamagne really thinks like, he was like, oh, y'all should work together. There are a contingent of people that really believe that the politicians doing fucked up shit don't know they're doing fucked up shit.

Like if they heard me, like if he heard me, I'd be like, oh, word? That's a good idea. We could do a lot if we put our heads together wait a second we were putting all of our budget into the police what the hell

the army doesn't need more money I think I just moved the number by accident fuck I'm not a numbers guy I'm sorry guys

we want housing oh I thought you said I need more money I thought you said need more tank. Just a small bean. I got you a huge tank. Yes, exactly.

So, yeah, I've been thinking about changing my number, but that's pretty much it. But I'm like, I can't go nowhere. I can't go nowhere where they're going to do anything. I'm like, if I go to go be your legal observer at the protest we're all going to jail imagine if uh you change your number but they do that thing where they take like an older number and they give it to like a new user and they are getting texts from the mayor um i used to get i used to get calls and texts for this woman, who used to have my phone number. And things were not going great for Crystal.

And then people were just blowing up my phone. And I was like, I am not Crystal. And I've had my phone number for a long time. And they just didn't get it. So, yeah, I would love to get that. Shout out, Crystal. I hope things are good. What's the phone number?

Five. I have had people, like, when I was still a public defender, people call Legal Aid's office. Like, fans off the internet. Did that happen to you? I've never had someone, luckily, that I've represented know me from the internet. Thank God. But I have had law students come in and say things to me. Oh. But I haven't had people call legal aid oh they did i like i felt so like so uncomfortable having to send an email it's like hey um i don't know if

you know what i'm kind of a big deal but like you can't just be giving my number out like when they call the front desk like ask for their fucking docket number how about that when you when you send an email it says like sent from my new iphone yeah i'm doing pretty well sent from one of my iphone from the newest iphone it has usbc please reply that reminds me uh completely unrelated to this, but in the NBA, there's this player, Michael Porter Jr., plays for the Denver Nuggets. And he, they were doing some, after he got drafted, they were doing some sort of like meeting with the commissioner of the NBA, Adam Silver, and he was bored and was posting on Snapchat.

And he just posted a photo of Adam Silver on Snapchat from this presentation. And behind him, it has Adam Silver's email and phone number. And so he thought he was going to get kicked out of the league because he just posted that for all of his followers. That's so funny. I'm trying to remember who it was. I got banned from a friend of ours Twitch chat a few days ago because I kept going in and putting phone numbers. Just typing out arbitrary digits and then posting arbitrary social security numbers and i go they didn't like that i guess well the mods didn't

my ops are the twitch mods oh yeah wait i was streaming i mean it was de blasio actually de blasio was live on stream are you guys more like uh conscientious about your public persona now that you it's more of a full-time focus as it becomes like a higher priority i think alex has always been very conscientious thank you for saying that i think i am i think people don't think i am really yeah but that's good that's like what you want i actually wish alex gave less of a fuck yeah they'd be taking up like mental space for no reason. Like, cause I think like they'll never be,

the reality is there's always going to be a, someone's going to hate you for every remark. Like everything that you do for, if it made somebody else love you, it alienated the fuck out of somebody else. It upset them. And so, Oh,

I didn't even tell you on the judge Steve Harvey video, they recorded earlier that someone wrote on my subreddit that, what did they say? They said I was doing a racist black scent when I was doing a Steve Harvey impression. Which my Steve Harvey impression is foghorn leghorn. Where I just go, nah, I'll say it. Oh, you know, like that. And I'm like, I don't know what to make of this. There are people who say that me and foreign man in a foreign land on YouTube,

we're both Bahamian. They say that we, our accent is made up in order to, for the whites. Like that's a regular thing. Like someone, someone said that to me days ago. To what end? Like, what does that do for you? I'm not sure. But do white people watching me like, I don't like watching people like me

I want to be confused that's the fastest way to become a millionaire fake this accent I just think about the people who are hearing me and seeing me a lot and you know like especially when I go on Hassan, Hassan can be like really reactionary and angry and yell at people.

And I feel like there's some part of me, maybe it's being a people pleaser or something like that. It's anxiety. Yeah, you're so right. But there's this conciliatory part of me where, I don't know, I want people to come together. It's really corny to say, but I want to do that. Very desperately, I want people to come together. It's really corny to say. No, I get it.

But I want to do that. Very desperately, I do want to do that. And so I think listening, trying to... But it makes for corny content, right? Because if you're kind of soft-pedaling yourself, and you're never... Not that I'm never... I piss people off constantly, actually,

which is why I think people think that I don't care. Right, right. But I do think about that a lot. There are some people who really don't give a fuck. And you're like, you know, you can imagine like whoever that content creators that you're thinking of. But yeah, I think I think about it a little bit more in terms of messaging, I guess, because it's so much

when we talk about criminal, the criminal system and these things that we advocate for, we are trying to to make people learn. You advocate for the criminal system in the way that you want there to be more criminals. Yeah, that's right. Yes, thank you. Which brings me to our first point. I love crime.

You have kind of a judge dread mentality, right? Like a punisher mindset where if you do a crime, there's death. Punishment is death. No criminals. Death for the person that the crime was done to because I love crime. Right. Oh, that's right.

Yeah. That makes sense. The punisher trying to explain. My wife left me. I was in a bad mood. I kill people now. My client. Yeah, I think i'm conscientious but like within reason or at least within the limitations of my own personality like yeah i have to recognize who i am like like i have i think it's like every content creator is dealing

with their own special cocktail of neuroses like it's like I was a person with neuroses and my own issues before there were tens of thousands of people fucking trying to jump and add to it. I'm like, yeah, I'm like, I don't deserve what you have. I know. I agree. Every day, like it's too normal to me for people to feel like you are obligated to wade through like thousands of critique and decide what's in good faith and that means that you have to like take it in and internalize and i'm like no fuck you i'm trying to survive okay i know people in real life people whose opinions i value who know me i don't fucking know you for you to be the person whose opinion i take and i can't like

if i ruminated on everything good faith or not if i me as a person will ruminate like if i ruminate on all the shit that you're saying about me i will never step forward i will never do anything and it's like so i just gotta not listen now my biggest problem for me is personally i don't like people telling me shit i didn't ask them i fucking hate it if you knew how many times a day I read something like, who the fuck asked that? I mean, like, and then, like, trying to resist the urge to, like, feel like, I feel, you know what my problem is? I feel like they see me see the comment and think I'm pussy for not answering. Because the way people be talking about you as though, like, you're supposed to respond, you know what I mean?

I'm like, so if i leave that there you're just gonna think that dumb ass thing was right yeah i would hate to have that you have to engage because they've already engaged like offering a handshake yes so now i'm trying my new act because having to be conscientious of that audience like and wanting to maintain that audience you want to be able to educate people and you want to hope they see something that they will connect with or whatever which requires you to not upset them by showing them a fraction of the disrespect they've shown you yeah so now i just don't say right but i will banish the fuck out of you now or you have to be like you have to take the high road uh i was just gonna liken this to like when you're in grade school and

every teacher's like oh it's just an hour of homework and then suddenly you have like more hours of homework than you do like hours of sleep like after the school that week it's like if a million people have an issue or like if a handful of people have an issue like you don't get to put work on my plate like I don't owe you anything yes uh just because you you know said something to me doesn't mean it warrants a response and i think people don't get that and then yeah they take no responses well i'm right it's like well no everyone wants a response from everyone just because i'm like texting rashida jones and being like will you marry me doesn't mean she owes me a response

though a lot of texts though at points, rude to not say something. One time I did, Rashida Jones had a show called Angie Tribeca, and I tweeted at TBS, like the Twitter account for the show, and they made a video. They were like, Twitter user Jarvis says, Rashida Jones, will you marry me? And then they cut a clip of the show of Rashida Jones going, no. So I did get a response. Wait, that's just a clip.

And that was a different time. No, I think it was her talking to me directly. He's like, I would prefer to believe that. Thank you. Don't ruin this for me. I'll take the rejection as it is from Rashida's mouth. So I'm supposed to run their socials. Yeah, so no, that's the thing I hate.

I'm trying to, so I'm not replying like to anything negative anymore. But I block the shit out of people. I will trying to, so I'm not, I'm not replying like to anything negative anymore, but I blocked this shit out of people. I will block you. And I'm one of those people. Like I will block anybody who liked your comment. You liked that disrespect. Oh, fuck you too. Like, what do you think about that?

I'll give that a swing. I'm going to get in one of your one mean comments to you. Fucking build community around it. Like, can we fuck you? Building community around being a hater i be hating that shit who does i see it like nah fuck the tour y'all i'm gonna leave a reply to one of your mean comments where you have to take like a you have to do an ethical assessment so i won't say anything explicitly mean but the comment is mean and i say a lot to think about interesting

my my mods know there's a policy if you read it and it makes you do this you have to measure the squint level right like i'm far back to your head it is so funny like i get in i i just like go how do how does this person like exist in the world? Like with this, I got a comment recently. I can't even remember what it was, but I sent it to, they said something like super mean. And then I said, I responded, okay, I'll delete the video. That's a joke. Cause like, what do you want? Like, I don't know what you want from me. And then, and then they were like, oh, on second thought, I think this is a little, what I said was a little harsh. And what they said to me was like, you suck and you're bad or something like that.

It's like a little harsh. I think that's quite harsh. That's one of mine. No, they're nuts. It really is nuts. Like, people think they can treat you any kind of way because you're on the internet. It's just like, they wake up like, oh, in their real life, like, good morning. Good morning.

Good morning. I'm exhausted. Fuck you, you bitch. morning i'm exhausted yeah yeah it's crazy because they're not knowing like the birds land on their arms it's not one of those mornings it's like a waking up a bird bites them if you spend too much time online that feels like real life yeah you like go outside and you're like oh i can interact with people who have no idea what any of this shit is. Yeah. And don't care and never will. I just feel like it's so, people make fun of it or people make fun of especially content creators for complaining about like the hatred that they get. Yeah, yeah.

But the thing is, we're all online. We're all online. Even people like whoever's watching this is online. We're all online. We're all online. Even people like whoever's watching this is online. We're all online. Right. But people like to pretend like they aren't in that space and it's not a space all of us occupy. And you wouldn't be at the post office and then someone behind you is like, fuck you. Why?

Yeah. Well, you missed the sending mail over here. Yeah. Nice outfit. They forget. Like people think like you're like your mental health somehow just becomes so much stronger than that of a normal person every like 10 000 followers or something like i i'm still upset about shit my mother said to me as a child i don't know why you think tens of

thousands of people playing on my existing issues wouldn't upset me checking the follow account checking your social blade school to assess assessment people will like be violating you violating you online the minute you respond they'd be like oh my god look at this big guy like this person has a platform and you're responding what are you searching your name whoa you're literally you're tweeting at me my phone is in my hand your disrespect is coming directly to me you're yeah you're not allowed to see this they're not allowed to have eyes you're a bigger account that's uh kind of what you did to eric adams when you think about it you kind of were mean he just walked right in there trying to

have a nice day on the breakfast club i'm like i actually thought it was very nice didn't you realize that you had a big scary following and he had just a tiny few little bit of followers? I thought it was funny. I had to do an interview with somebody and they were like, oh, like, don't you feel like, like, you know, he's like the underdog or he's like, you know, ambushed. And I'm like, isn't it crazy how like, it doesn't matter when I beat somebody in anything like this in real life, like in court, It doesn't, it's like the person,

suddenly I become the one that was a threat. He's the fucking mayor. Who isn't the other dog? And nobody in that room, I was like, also I'm like, y'all acting as though anybody in that room agrees with me. DJ Envy loves the police. You remember when he spoke up?

Like Charlamagne, we don't share the same views. No one in the room shares the same views with me. And everybody in the room is far more powerful than me. And I'm the guest there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But somehow. Who's the overdog? Just the president?

And then everything under that? No, literally. I was like, he can't defend his own policies? His own administration? That's crazy. Yeah, they're treating the NYPD like Spider-Man. They're like, hey, leave him alone. I think he's good for the city

i think he's a vigilante no they're mad people like that they're like you know i don't like eric adams but she was rude and she was ghetto and she was ratchet and she was masculine and she was emotional i don't like this man's fucking back is to me he's screaming over me pretending i'm not in the room. This guy, he was so emotional. Yikes. Yikes, sweaty. I mean, in the marketplace of ideas, there's no place for being ratchet.

Leave your ratchetness at the door. I was like, all right. Sure, sure, y'all. Harvey Milk kind of yikes. Being a little emotional, don't you think, Hunty? Okay, in lighter news uh have y'all seen that new boss and dynamics robot that's very scary oh the flame throwing dog no oh sorry a different killing machine yes So every time, you know Boston Dynamics.

They're this robotics company that is famous for like, they made these like dog robots that are real, that like work really, really well. But every video of them looks horrifying because it's like super dystopian. That whole thing is like. What about this one? Wait, wait, wait. Go back to that article, Jacob.

You cannot just open that up and tab away. That is so sick. You can now buy a flame throwing robot dog for under 10 000 jacob that was insane that you opened basically like a warhammer model that's being legal in 48 u.s states is insane because mace isn't legal in new york this is what makes you can't even have mace which patriots that's the new man's best friend right who are the true that's fucking patriot when your girls is gonna walk like walk oh you're gonna walk home from the club you've been drinking all night take the robot dog instead no mace but you could take the flamethrower robot dog what is another unfortunate accident with the robot flamethrower unfortunate hero dog because you know

what's going to happen they're going to like that's legal to have that but it's only two seconds before in some case and something happens and then they're

charging the person with murder it's funny that it has a laser sight but shoots fire the laser sight makes it dude imagine you're in the forest

and you get like a green like laser pointer on you and then you look up and there's a robot dog running after you I think the laser pointer and the dog is you look up and there's a robot dog running after you. I think the laser pointer and the dog is enough. I don't need to know it's hardware.

That's so scary. But I want you to know, that's how I felt when I saw that delivering food robot thing. Oh, yeah. Someone's been on the sidewalk? I was like, what the fuck is that? No, no. One of those hit me.

I was just on the sidewalk and one of them bumped into me. That's so crazy that that exists and y'all are all like, it's normal. No, not normal. That's so crazy that that exists in your world. It's normal. No, not normal. That's not in here. Did you know that those things are driven by people? Like in a room somewhere? They're like driving them around?

That's like the AI. When Amazon's, do you know the Amazon stores? Yeah, the stores. Where you could check out, they just ended up being a thousand people in India. Yes. What's the point? Everything. If it's just the optics of having good technology,

I don't care. It's the future. I'll buy from Amazon. The new robot is even scarier to me, personally. Do you know inside that dog is just a different dog with a normal flamethrower? This is not CGI. I have to say that. What?

No. But it's also, is that a guy? No, it's a robot. I'm so scared.. What? No. But it's also, is that a guy? No, it's a robot. I'm so scared. It's so scary. I'm terrified. Terrified.

Yeah. Why has it got a turn all fucked up? You know what I mean? I don't understand. It turns like a, like a horror movie. I don't understand why the people making these things aren't scared.

Stop being weird. I know. I don't get why they keep doing it. Like why they like why aren't they scared like why aren't the people who like i understand like we're we should be afraid have you ever and i saw our imagination but they fucking know they're doing it so why aren't they they've got to go to meetings where they like theorize about more stuff i'm like what if our crazy horror robot could do backflips? Does it need to? What was it? Was it Molly? What was it called? It came out recently. The doll.

Megan. Megan. I watched that. Did you watch that? Okay, well you should because what the fuck? Research. Wait, Jacob, can you see if there's more videos of the Atlas robot on YouTube? Oh wait, no, never mind. I'm always hesitant to be the you know like the philistine and be like this they're gonna kill us because like the singularity is not like the real concern that people talk about or like

you know chat gbt is not a simulation of a real person but i'm always curious what the intent is what do you want this for because it's not out. It's not being just with the boys. This is, I mean, Eric Adams would love this. They already got one of these, and it's actually like not even, it doesn't even look cool. Oh, this is the old. They have a robot that's in one of the subway stations that's like a big NYPD robot

that I think that probably costs millions of dollars. And all it does is... Can you pull it up? It's so... I'm so sorry. Would it be like an NYPD robot? Yeah. Is it like that optics thing?

Like how in the future we are? It's that big stupid ship. We're like removed from service. Look at it. What is it? Does it have a flamethrower? Which one is it? That looks like a Pixar movie

based on it. You know what I mean? WALL-E. It looks like it would go... One is an automaton killing machine. The other is a robot

that they made. Push for assistance? at this don't fuck look at me trying to push the robot and i can't do it because it weighs off 1500 pounds yeah you guys have a legal background from my understanding the number one way that cops are killed is fentanyl and then number two is getting shoved they're too easy to shove number one cause of shoveless cop this i mean and this one can't die from fentanyl dude this looks so funny it's just a camera right that's what this it looks like that wait can you go back it's no longer in use also Also, I love that it says Oboe Cop. Eric Adams, like,

smiling with it. That looks like something in a fake newscast of a movie. You know what I mean? Oboe Cop off the street. And it's about the Oboe Cop being taken on.

Millions. Well, it's because the Oboe Cop already killed 12 people. The camera, it just sees Eric Adams and it's like, ghetto, human-identified, urban-style. killed 12 people the camera it just sees eric adams and it's like ghetto human identify urban style man shake my head i mean i could kick that thing's ass i don't care easy he's got wheels i'll

roll it onto the track what does it look like it looks like something to me it's like a trash can it looks like one of the doctor who um yeah the daleks yeah it looks like one of the Doctor Who... Yeah. The Daleks. Yeah, it looks like a less threatening Dalek. Put a flamethrower on it. Why a flamethrower? Why not a gun? You know what I mean? I think probably regulations. Oh, what were the two patriots,

the true patriot states that allowed the flamethrower dog to be... It was like Ohio and somewhere else. Oh, yeah. We learned something else about Ohio today. It's funny that you were like, look at this robot, this scary robot. And I said, oh, you mean the one that they attached a flamethrower to? And you're like, oh.

Oh, no. No, different horrifying. Not the hero. We kind of spanned the whole spectrum because there's the weird, goofy NYPD robot. Then there's the robot dog, the robot dog with flamethrower. And now the humanoid one will probably be the last thing I i see before i die flamethrowers are not specifically regular in 48 u.s states although general product liability and criminal laws may still apply to their use and sale they are not considered firearms the first half of the word is fire

that's like the original firearm i knew it was some shit like this maryland and uh and california oh where the range of flamethrowers cannot exceed 10 feet? To state the obvious. All right, Ars Technica. Flamethrowers can easily burn both things and people. Wait, what's he doing in the forest? That's insane. Bro.

Oh, that's cool. Wait, is he playing with a Steam Deck? No. It's kind of sick. It's like a little attachment for the iPhone. For the flamethrower. Oh, yeah. God, that's cool, though. It looks like AI art. play it with a steam deck no it's kind of a little attachment for the iphone for the flame dog oh yeah god that's cool though it looks like ai art yeah it looks unconvincing yeah god that's cool what if that's just in the subway look at it airborne that's fucking terrifying

in case they have to burn a higher part of the body. What's his face spinning? I mean, I do think that... Oh, sorry. No, go ahead. No, I just... I was just gonna say... What? It's funny, like... Where were they allowed to just light it on fire like this? I know. Like, what forest were they like, go ahead.

It's Ohio, baby. Right, it's burning the community down. Wait, why isn't this in a warehouse? Like, when they built it. It's next to some bored people's houses. Oh, that's, I hate that. I really think that's so cool. You know what the thing is?

They'll say, you know, they'll come up with one use case for it, right? They'll say it's like, oh, it's for planned crop burns in arid areas, which actually would probably be a good use for it. Keeps firefighters out of danger. That makes a lot of sense, right? And look what I'm doing. I'm doing marketing for these people now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But like, they'll a good use for it keeps firefighters out of danger that makes a lot of sense right and look what i'm doing i'm doing marketing for these people yeah but like they'll have one use for it it will never get used for that and it will literally only be used to

like kill people in a developing nation i feel like identifying that kind of utility is what you two like learned right that's like part of the training for being involved in the legal system but also knowing like what the most generous advocate for something is going to be like what is the what's the best excuse for this dui and then like what's the most realistic take i feel like fire breathing robot is like that's the final test of law school yeah we just well i killed it right there i just like i'm just just so annoyed by what I know is going to be a legal shitstorm for any black or brown person that misused that damn thing. Think about it. When the trash can one runs someone over, and they're like, well, they were being hood.

It's going to be a problem immediately. Immediately. Like, I'm thinking NYPD literally shot, like, a corrections officer in New York, shot and killed, like, an 18-year-old boy for spraying him with a water gun. And then NYPD came out, like, the water guns can seem dangerous. Could be a flamethrower. Like, literally start criminalizing a water gun. So imagine flamethrower. Yeah. Flamethrower and dog.

And what's the term? Like, even more, like, fragmented responsibility. Like, the robot does that. You say, well, it's manually controlled. And what's the term? Even more fragmented responsibility. The robot does that. You say, well, it's manually controlled. And it's like, by someone at Boston. No, not in particular. The NYPD just has someone with an Android controller or whatever.

And it's like, well, who though? And it's like, well, no, limited liability. We won't say who. We'll deactivate the robot. I could see that. Oh, my gosh. I could see that. Oh, God god watch them have them at cop city like on the training grounds that's what they want cop city even to be is like a training grounds for like militarized warfare for them to use in their policing so

bet that'd be the exactly the kind of thing you see them testing out a cop city yeah they're just ruining they're doing that thing where i like uh this can't be true they tap the side of the car and the dog the flamethrower dog jumps up oh my god like oh shit i don't think this is true pull up the nypd dance squad hold on ole give give them a chance could these people do something that evil? Oh. You don't like these guys? Alright, that's a... Wait, so are they cops? Or they are like...

This is the dance they do after they shoot an unarmed person. It's like a Fortnite mode. Deadass. This is copaganda in the worst kind of copaganda, right? Because people would be like, they couldn't do something better.

This is how they look like bumblebees and buffoons, right? But that's the point. If you see the police as like, this disarms them. They don't seem dangerous to you. If you see them fucking candy in no rhythm, yeah. like you're like no way they're going around brutalizing black people i've been watching they are a ton against my better instincts i've been watching a ton of svu because it's just like it's such an old show yes and the expanded universe of law and order so old at this point that it's they're very aware of what their aesthetic

has to be and it has to be the perfect cops doing the right moves but they also know how drama works and so they have to imbue like they have to be bad apples but they also know that those bad apples can't just arbitrarily shoot black people so it is there is there is i'm not kidding you a full episode where there's some kind of you know what was the cause here that was this person this guy was attacked on his way home from school but then it turned out he'd actually bullied the sister of this other girl that's initially kind of gesturing loosely towards it being racially motivated and then an advocacy group gets involved and but they're like no no, this isn't about race, actually.

It's about diabetes. And the path it takes to that is so convoluted that, like, one of two things happens in every single episode that has a rip from the headlines topic. It is either, oh, time to just go to court. We don't want to do all this stuff outdoors now because it's too hard and confusing. Everyone's just going to go to court, and we'll just have a conversation about it and kind of end loosely on like it could be an institutional problem but thankfully this time it was about apple or

m night chamelan twist away from the thing that was difficult to talk about and this one the the bending of a backwards they have to do to go well uh yes racism bad don't get guys sucks but it's 2009 so we got that guy now so it's actually good one of you guys one of the brothers you know joe biden's friend uh and you know um maybe just this one time we will send the black guy to jail just just this one time we are gonna do that and we did shoot that other guy but it was that was you know sergeant um italian that guy was from new jersey so it's like actually he's the bad kind loner is one of the worst things that are happening in society propaganda in general it is it's fascinating to me it is like it's an exhausting show to watch it's like watching uncut Gems or something where you're just like.

And it's not even like the traditional like cop again. It's not even just like the traditional cop shows or the shows that you expected. Isn't shit like Lucifer, like where the fucking devil is going to be a cop to try to be good again and shit or like. The default for anything is being a detective. The Chip and Dale Rescue Rangers movie. Did you watch that? Yes. Copaganda up the fucking ass. Like literally. I didn't see it. Chip and Dale are workingale working with the police which by the way i don't know why i didn't

realize they were fucking the police the whole time as a kid i was like okay right because y'all were the ops didn't realize no so chippendale basically peter pan is running around committing crime peter pan is running a trafficking ring the police are so handicapped by your fourth amendment rights the police are there likeapped by your Fourth Amendment rights. The police are there like, Chip and Dale, we can't, all these protections.

Oh, that's the thing. Yeah, cartoons in this society. The new rules and laws. All these constitutional rights for bad guys are holding up the police. So Chip and Dale need to help the police and they need to bring them up.

Have you ever watched the first episode of Darkwing? Like, have you ever watched Darkwing Duck? It's the ops copaganda. Cop of Grows is copaganda. Paw Patrol. It's all so much. It's every fucking where.

ACAB includes Chippendale. Oh, 100%. I did buy a friend, I bought a friend, Criken, a Paw Patrol wheel that I saw on sale at Target because it was his birthday it is uh he accidentally left it at my house so i have just played with it and um it's just the whole premise of it is you i couldn't believe it i thought maybe i'll get like a clip of it or something but the game of it instead of being like the cow says you know it's a bunch of buttons yeah it's like so it is

this atv wheel that converts into like a firefighter truck or whatever and you can depending on the position of the wheels you follow the different rules so there's like a phone you can tap it's like there's a suspect what should you do now 9-1-1 button well done or if like it's which is kind of weird because there's some options that are like de-escalating it's like oh like leave or something it's like no no no no they'll get away you know oh god i thought it's like parody let's pursue the enemy can back stop resisting bark bark story the explorer can you spot the no but yeah copaganda that it really is insidious like i really think about that when i realize it now like i was white when i went to watch darkwing duck and i realized he's the fucking ops like this

is the craziest shit i ever seen is he like batman i never saw darkwing duck on the very first episode of darkwing the first that's how they. Like, this is what it is. Bushroot is a, like, scientist trying to, like, create healthy food because the pharmaceutical companies and the GMOs, whatever, trying to kill us. The, the, everybody, all the, like, they show you these are the bad guys. They're against Bushroot. So Bushroot ends up, like, they fuck up Bushroot's thing. Some, you know, Frankenstein thing happens and Bushroot becomes like, he becomes Bushroot. Like where he has these like powers connected to the earth.

And what Bushroot's whole sole agenda is to get us healthy food and protect us from the pharmaceutical companies. He's a good guy. So they bring in Darkwing Duck to fuck Bushroot up. I was like, yo, they weren't even hiding this is what I'm however I'm like this is why all the generations this is why everybody stops I was like this is why it's so hard to get people on some anti cop shit cause like look what they were like

look what it was okay to just like on it's face no parents anywhere were like hmm it's hard to because like when i was growing up i still collect comic books don't that's very nerdy don't tell anybody that okay don't publish this don't put this anywhere don't play it twice but my when i was growing up my favorite was batman and like obviously batman is a billionaire who goes around beating up mentally ill people like every night it's like literally

elon musk's dream it's like i can ride around in my car and just beat up the mentally ill it's like if elon musk could pass the nypd physical fitness program like if he could do that he would be doing the exact same thing yeah absolutely just wearing a bulletproof suit just shoving he probably owns one already. Yeah, that's true. It's inside of his chest. It's installed. I wanted to be Batman when I was a kid.

And he's like the ultimate cop. He's a detective. Same thing. They're like, oh, this city's corrupt. No, he's worse than that. He's George Zimmerman with money. And he is. Think about it. He doesn't even fucking work for the police

the only reason the police like that like the back and forth of him being like yeah well the the cops we don't always like working with this uh this capes crusader in a mask but he gets the job done is truly because his code is not killing it's just breaking that's why all their lips that's why they like the punisher because the punisher gets to kill them yeah so it's like he does all that stuff plus he gets to murder them it's fine like this is great like whenever you see a guy with a truck and it's got like the thin blue line skull punisher yeah badass yeah he also kills cops like in the comic book so they're like not me though there's an issue from a few years ago about him like meeting some cops and being like no i

just i'm bad i like killing but it can't end like that and the final page of the issue he is like well i guess we'd better stop doing that but we we still love you, Punisher. We took the sticker off, but still one of us, pal. He's like, thank you. Thank you, citizen. So yeah, Batman. He wouldn't be Batman. Yeah, not anymore. Certainly not after the George Zimmerman.

But no, you'd be like a good apple, you know? You know what? I think I'm going to change this from the inside. I'm going'm gonna be the first guy i'm probably the first guy to think that yeah i think so be nice bevett you guys have any other like media you grew up with that now in retrospect is like very sinister there's a lot of propaganda and i i you know and i still like it like i like pop-up girls i love me some pop- still like it. I like pop-up girls. I love me some pop-up girls.

And I still love pop-up girls. Them bitches are the police. Okay? I'm like, he's not lost but me. Think about it. Rich white scientist decides to concoct three little super crime fighting girls that work for the mayor. The mayor, that is those little girls draw a fucking button. Come beat every person of color

down to the white meat think about it mojo jojo's green the gangrene gang the boogie monster like every person of color in townsville gets fucked up on site there's somebody that's just gender ambiguous and so they beat them up him everybody fuzzy lumpkin they're all fucking people the mayor is like has like a subhuman brain on the only times the only villains the only um antagonists they have that aren't people of color that are right medusa um um what you call it princess more bucks and the fucking incel that episode that was trying to put them in um trying to keep them as little dolls to keep those are own those episodes where they have white antagonists,

there was white villains, there's a whole episode of doing things with them. Dialogue, where they're blended into the community, blah, blah, blah, blah. It's never just fucked them up.

Medusa, the whole Medusa comes in. She's dating the professor. Princess Morbucks is their classmate. They have to treat nice at first. The incel gets like a whole episode of like, oh, the incel's life.

And Harold. And Harold Smith, who I feel, shout out to Harold, because Harold was stressed out. Harold is this guy that like, Harold's just tired of his life. They basically show a montage of Harold just like going to work every day, hearing his wife talk to him and his kids. And he does that for like repeatedly in the montage. And then he just wakes up like, I'm going to be a villain. Yeah.

That's awesome. Yeah. The only characters that get motivation are like, I was betrayed by the American dream. The worst thing that can happen to someone. That guy from the viral TikTok who shows his day in the life. And it's just him waking up, commuting to work,

going to work. Yeah. It's like that guy wakes up one day and he's like, actually fuck all of it. That's Harold is my favorite little montage. And yeah, so they got to deal with like Harold's fully in the community at the going to work. Yeah, it's like that guy wakes up one day and he's like, actually, fuck all of them. That's Harold. That's my favorite little montage. And yeah, so they got to deal

with like Harold's fully in the community at the dinner table. They know he's going to be a villain, but they're not allowed to just like fuck him up. Like they have to deal

with that. It's illegal. That's consistent. Except, but at Mojo Jojo he even tried to go to the fucking grocery store. He beat him up in his bed.

Yes. Dead to fuck ass. Like they see him and they just get to fuck him up he's literally in the grocery store they get called they come and fuck him up and throw him in jail they won episode the pop of girls broke into jail he's never he's never actually committed a crime he like attempts to be like get him get him i'm like oh how didn't i realize these bitches are the ops like so yeah that's my what i realized you spent a lot of time thinking about this i noticed everything they broke into jail to be this i'm like don't get me started on how eeyore is black and how they treat him over in the 100 Acre Woods. Well, I kind of want to get you started.

You told me not to. You didn't notice Eeyore is black? Y'all, I noticed that. Eeyore lives, everybody lives in the suburbs in the 100 Acre Woods, but Eeyore lives on the outskirts by himself. They don't invite him to any group fucking activity. They spend the whole episode doing fucking shit with each other in the suburbs. And then they go see him at the end like, why are you so sad, Eeyore? What's the fucking problem, Eeyore?

No one came to my cookout. That ass girl was crazy. I be feeling so fucking bad for Eeyore. Have you ever made a video about Powerpuff Girls? Because that would be so fucking funny. I haven't made one like for my, like on my YouTube, but maybe I should. You definitely should.

It's such a funny, like, it's so true. There's so much supporting evidence for it, and it's also just so fucking funny to, like, realize that. And you saying it now, it's, like, so cohesive and clear and obvious, but I never... It's so good. I think that show evades it a little bit by being so kooky. It's, like, so silly.

And the day was saved thanks to the Powerpuff Girls. You know what? I should do that now. Let me go home and rewatch a lot of Powerpuff Girls. Yeah. It doesn't seem like you need to rewatch it.

What do you think you missed? I know you were listing villains I had completely forgotten about. You were the first name of just a guy. Yeah. Harold. You're right.

It almost sounds like you're trying to cover for the fact that you still rewatch it. Oh, his name's Harold or some shit? Oh, who was that again? Oh, Mojo Jones. I have a whole, like, copaganda art series in my living room. Like a copaganda pop-up girls one, I mean. Like the copaganda girls. And so I have Mojo Jojo in jail,

Pussy Lunkins in jail, him in jail, and then Mojo Jojo getting his ass beat. Which is stuff tied together with string. Yeah, like they're hard. I'll find a picture for you on a show. That's so good. Yes, no, I'm committed to this theory.

I don't know about media. I mean, I can't think of any specific media, but the thing I always think about is Home Alone, because I love Home Alone. alone yeah but more from the perspective that it's like a fun jolly movie and it's like these two men trying to murder this child and like him being left by his parents who forgot like he's a forgotten child I mean home alone is the shows, all movies like that is like, you know, it's not like Ferris Bueller's Day Off has like a lot of political elements because it doesn't need to. I think about that actually often. What do you have to say about Ferris Bueller?

Oh, I got some tricky thoughts. Because I have some thoughts too. Or like it less explicitly, as in it's being tactful with what it believes it is just like a you know crime and punishment chase movie but there is a uh in the case of home alone it's just yeah a shorthand for criminal is bad like okay so there's bad guys that are breaking in okay they're criminals like that that's what makes them allowed to be attacked yeah like break their skulls and stuff but they're doing the crime that the most desperate people do yeah it's he's not attacking white-collar criminals or like when he goes to new york in a fancy hotel the bad guys are still two criminal that's the same two guys yeah they

just leave i'm like i'm good This kid's really good at fighting. I'm going to be that pigeon lady. Why did Professor X make the Powerpuff Girls? He's bored. Because why do they need to be super soldiers? What's he a professor of? Girls? Nazi studies. He works for the CIA.

Yeah. I've got an idea for a CIA. Yeah. I've got an idea for a news writing to you. That the mayor has a little giant red dot red line straight to those little girls to fight crime. You know what the mayor's name is? Jeffrey Epstein. What? Look that up.

Wait, another thing. Why was Oh, wait. Another thing. Why was Sarah Bellum only ever shown from the neck down? I don't know. Oh, my God. That's all you need, Bell. I love that. They did the same thing with Wizard Kelly and the Proud Family. I love that.

I love that. I've seen some theories about how she was the real brains of the operation. One, her name's Sarah Bellum. And then also, you never see her head. They were trying to do everything to absolve a white man. You see, you see who fucking did it. He's just an incompetent little guy. I'm like, if anything, this freak show is just there.

It just shows to me that she's just a body to this sick ass old white man. I kind of feel like the hymn of sad, like that little guy of sad boys. Like I'm just like kind of, I'm pretty incompetent. You're always in weird positions. There's just other people like doing things successfully. And I don't know whether or not it's ethical

because I'm not like, I'm too stupid. I'm the little man. And you're the beautiful cerebellum. Beautiful out of frame cerebellum. And I'm also Mojo Jojo and I'm John Wick since we're naming them and I'm Nightwing

oh speaking of John Wick I just saw Monkey Man I always wanted to see that funny story I was talking to I was talking to Jalon a black friend. I was talking to Jalon, a black friend, and I was talking about the movie Monkey Man.

She was like, you said what? Like, who said you were a monkey man? And I was like, no, no, no, it's a film, movie. I saw a movie. I was watching Avatar and someone called me. No, but I do respect. Also, I understand. No, but Dev Patel, I think his directorial debut?

Yes. I thought it was great. Didn't want to be in it. He wrote it, was not sure about directing it, got kind of convinced to direct it, and then most definitely didn't want to be in it. He's so hot. Can we bring up a picture of him?

He's very hot. It's crazy that he just... The movie's all about how the cops are bad and the government's bad. Oh, okay. Well, you should have sold it to me like that. Yeah. Well, I mean, basically,

Dev Patel's, like, his character's family, basically, they were... His character's family had their land basically taken away by the government and, like, the chief of police and people. Oh, that's... Dude, look at this. That's crazy.

I said on Twitter that I thought, so Scorsese is making another Jesus movie. Oh. And because he made like The Last Temptation with Willem Dafoe in like the 70s. This one's another temptation. Yes, another. And he's going to cast another white Jesus.

I'm almost sure of it. But I was like, oh, he's going to. Because Robert Downey Jr. Yeah. Joe Pesci as the son of God. That would be sick. Hey, what the hell? But I suggested Dev Patel. I was like, Dev Patel

would actually be sick Jesus. The movie had like I think a $10 million budget and it looks like it could have had a $100 million budget. Like, it's, like, and the stunts are crazy. Didn't he break his hand? Yeah, he, like, broke his hand. He got an eye infection.

Watching the movie, you're like, oh, I see how that must have happened. Dev Patel, I think, has the ideal level of social capital and success where he can, he's almost like uh it's not even the guy uh he's in like the conjuring and he's the bad guy in aquaman patrick uh i was gonna say warburton wilson yeah patrick wilson who he's amongst like the top five most successful actors in the world yeah and i just forgot his name for a while. Oh, yeah. The Dream. Dev Patel. You mentioned Dev Patel.

Everyone's like, I fucking love Dev Patel. Yeah, yeah. Incredible. All these good... A Slumdog Millionaire. This is incredible. And then you don't think about Dev Patel.

I don't think I've ever watched... I'm not sure I've watched any of his movies. You don't like movies with Dev? No, he is. Hmm? No, I'm racist. Like a racist. You don't like Monkey Man?

Was his first big role Slumdog Millionaire? I think so. I think literally the first movie. Or maybe I did see Slumdog Millionaire. I either saw it or read the book. My favorite of his, I haven't seen Monkey Man yet, but my favorite is Green Knight. I love Green Knight.

That's what I mean. It's just hit, hit, hit, hit, hit. His best work of all is the newsroom. Yes. Well, you know, when he reveals that the rock, the rock tweeted about Osama bin Laden's death. Oh, that show is amazing. The rock just tweeted. That was the Aaron Sorkin show. Yes. Yes. Do you know yeah yes yes you know wait wait oh do you know this tweet the rock when the rock found out about bin laden's death no what did he say he was like land of the free home of the brave like just got news that'll shock the world i think he said i'm i this is an important tweet it's him with seal team we did it here it is. Wait, it's insane that the tweet itself showed up.

Just got word that will shock the world. Land of the free, home of the brave. Damn proud to be an American. I know this doesn't matter, but 20K likes. It's not great. It was 2011. That was like, with inflation, that's... Primo honor.

He's in Wicca. That's the sequel to John Wick. So much Wicca. It's funny that John Wick is mentioned by name in Monkey Man. I thought that was funny. Isn't this like John Wick? No, it's like, I mean, I wouldn't call it a spoiler, but like there's an arms dealer dude who is just showing off this gun

that was used in the movie John Wick. Oh, yeah, he's like, this is John Wick style. I just came in. It's from John Wick. I want to talk about the Live Nation thing, because do we have info about that? Because I actually haven't looked into it much. There's like an antitrust. The Justice Department reportedly preparing to file an antitrust lawsuit against ticket giant Live Nation. Alleging Live Nation, Ticketmaster's parent company, has undermined competition for ticketing live events.

Sounds about right, because what the year that's fucking true literally live nation and Ticketmaster merged like a couple years ago I don't know but they've completely cornered the market how are they allowed to merge their fucking fees that they add to everything is crazy

shopping for like concert tickets and stuff feels like buying a car you can't figure it out it is only through the portals so they've been they've been one company for over a decade well over a decade yeah it's just crazy that they were even allowed to merge because before it was like they were the only i mixed them up before you know what i mean thank you music god with all these concert announcements and festival season officially starting, this needed to happen. Now, Live Nation was already issued a subpoena last year by a panel at the U.S. Senate for documents pertaining to ticket pricing, fees, and secondary sales.

And in this article from Yahoo Finance, it shows the chart of the average ticket price since last year shifting. And we can tell that there were big shifts around the summer. Again, we have gone through literal hell trying to get tickets when it comes to live events, whether it's for big artists like Beyonce and Taylor Swift or just your favorite indie artist that's performing in downtown. Ticketmaster and Live Nation are getting their just karma. I don't know.

I think just considering the fact that everybody knows and it's a widely known fact that these companies have obviously cornered the market for ticket sales and everyone complains about this i actually think that they have a very solid shot of prevailing a lot of shit that they allow to persist iphone keeps fucking up the phone every fucking like people sue but that still doing it dude i'm so i'm completely i know in my head how bad the, and the rest of the phone market is.

And I'm fully indoctrinated. This guy just texts a green? What the hell? I saw, I saw a tweet. I hate texting a green. I saw a tweet. It was like a photo of iSpice holding an Android. And they were like, just found out iSpice has an Android. I got the ick.

And I'm like, ick this is crazy she's gonna be so upset that you're not on board no but like kids get and this is I'm glad I wasn't like in this generation of kids who have iPhones in like middle school but kids get like bullied for like having green text

and I'm like damn I've always experienced what it is to be a loser you guys bully you like I had a Nokia when people so I was in the Bahamas like what was popping was like a Razer flip phone oh yeah

a Razer and Pebble I had a Nokia like the old like the brick yes it had snake on it yes 45 year battery life

I had a virgin mobile prepaid phone I just didn't have enough cool people around me who knew who I was to make fun of me. They knew you were virgin. That's true, but I was on the move. I was texting.

I think they're going to break it up, actually. I'm not saying this is my illegal... I don't have a legal analysis on it. I think this has been something people have been talking about. Taylor Swift has gotten her group of fans riled up about this. Oh, that's why she's in all the images. Yes, yes, yeah, of course.

And I think that's why the Biden administration got turned on to this at first, because that's how the conversation got started again. Yeah. Yeah, it would be nice if it happens. It could happen. Basically, they could break it up. Like, they could force a breakage of the companies. I'm a big fan in general of the opposite of corporate consolidation.

Yes. Because there's just so many companies and so many industries that have just, like, become, like, you know, there's, like, four record label, like, record companies now. It's, like, Comcast, Spectrum, like, have carteled out, like, there's like four record label like record companies now it's like comcast spectrum like have carteled out like the whole u.s where like you know they just don't compete in their areas and they can like price fix and shit like that and just create a sub op like a sub par experience for consumers there's just so much that at&t was like antitrust broken up into several companies

like a few decades ago and then they've been slowly like recombining like telecom stuff it's just like yeah i'm so i'm generally a fan of of this this is like what i want the government to be doing and not uh banning tiktok yeah the antitrust they were destroying instagram reels. Come on, guys. You hate TikTok, no? You're glad it's going? I hate TikTok. Yeah, you're scared of it.

Do I hate it? I think I do kind of hate it, actually. You recorded a TikTok earlier. I know. Don't say that. I know. I mean, it's like... I know. It's like in the...

We did watch you do it. It was a birthday one for your dad. Don't say that. It was a birthday TikTok. I saw your wee-wee. It one for your dad. Don't say that. It was a birthday TikTok. I saw your wee-wee and it was not so big. Don't say that. Is whatever ends up happening with TikTok impacting your interest in specifically that kind of content?

I think I was tired of TikTok a while ago as a platform. I think it's a useful platform for education and getting information out there. But the way their relationship with creative people is terrible. Their compensation is bad for people who are able to monetize. They ban a lot of people. They ban people. It's a black box.

It's not clear exactly why things happen. And that's some social media platforms are like that but uh i think uh it's just hard to be sometimes it's hard to be creative on there i think and it's like stifles some creativity i don't want them to ban it right yeah but like you know it can be a stifling place to make stuff and nobody you know because if you go oh you're a tiktoker that's probably the worst thing to be maybe oh yeah well nobody thinks it's transferable i think that's just like innately how people people find a way to start disparage and put down anything in entertainment because i feel again i think it's like one of those things especially when it's like intern the internet feels like they create they gave you the platform more so than even like traditional entertainers or celebrities

because they're they those are kind of supplied at them but when they when they're like you're a content creator they feel like they gave it to you so i think it's just always you know like they'll say that you're a youtuber or whatever they they will say it with a disparaging energy in general yeah just belittle it yeah as much as possible people don't do that with podcasts right oh no no they love podcasts when my uber driver asked what I do and I said I'm famous win that's what I do every

no don't get me out no please sir I'm so drunk it's the most respected professions it's like doctor podcaster and then

whatever else like the social worker TikTok yeah that's right either of you have particular types of content you want to emphasize more? I mean, I guess the time you have now is a little different.

Third podcast maybe in your case? Oh, like what? You mean, hold on. What's the question? Which one do I want to promo more? Which one do I want to do more? Do more. Oh, do more.

Things you haven't spent as much time with. I mean, I care about my YouTube content more than I care about. I guess, obviously, you create content. You're a content creator on the other apps like I am. And it is work because very much so making a video or explainers or whatever for TikTok and Instagram is work. But my YouTube is where I'm like, oh, I'm making a production.

I'm making a movie. I'm doing a lot of, I made this a thing. Olay and Friends is its own energy and vibe. I put a lot of work into my content. So definitely my YouTube by far far i don't do any of that i don't work hard and that's why i am a loser yes i've been i i don't know what i want no you have a grand seiko i have a i got this on the street for $20. Yours has Dora on it. Is that Pikachu? I've been writing.

I was telling Jarvis about this because the first time I came here was two years ago, which is insane. And I was saying like, guys, I'm going to have this book out next year. It's been two years. But it's almost finished and ready to be sold. And I just wrote a screenplay also. So I've been writing a lot.

Is it public what the book is? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's about, it's fictional, it's magical realism. It's about death and grief. And it's sort of, it's slightly autobiographical, but it's like about a group of people who are dealing with like loss. And it's kind of exploring that or me trying to explore it.

And that's at a place of like the book, maybe there's an edit coming or something, but the book is done. The book is definitely done. Uh, we've been editing it and I'm fighting with my literary agent, uh, for like 10 months on edits because that's just how it goes.

Kind of. Uh, like you can't die before he accepts after seeing yeah like you don't know how to spell you spelled it b-o-o-o-k uh yeah so it's kind of a struggle once you've written something i didn't realize what a process it was to like actually make a book if you're not like hugely famous like obviously someone else can go and just be like oh i'm gonna write this and then six months later it's on the shelves that's like not in the cards for me the place in between like complete stephen king agency to do whatever you want and self-publishing with no like yeah and it's also a dying industry publishing is a dying industry and it's super old so i'm

sure it's got a lot of like red tape yes and uh and it's very political as i've told you like off pod uh i've had experiences where i had opportunities that kind of that were the right opportunities that sort of vanished because of my political outlook not like they didn't they don't say that to you explicitly but it becomes clear through other ways that that's what happened um but i love i love writing i love working with uh other creative people doing it's just fun it's cool you have more time now for that as well yeah because i'm so unemployed double unemployed i'm double unemployed it's hard to make your you know it's hard to make your dreams a reality in this world it is

and the pursuit is a beautiful thing the ability to pursue your dreams I'm like you in the Steve Harvey video some say it's a gift to be able to pursue your dreams we have a legal question actually

about a Korra that we read oh hell yeah we very sincerely couldn't decide on and there it's it's two two plaintiffs is that how it works that what they're called in a civil it's a yeah it's like a small claims kind of conflict okay they were asking if they might have a case if my neighbor's bees routinely steal pollen from my flowers and make honey that my neighbor profits from selling, can I sue them for a portion of that profit? Stuff like this makes me hate people, you know.

Makes me love bees. This is actually such an interesting question. It's such an annoying property law. This is like a property question. And I guess you can, not necessarily successfully, you can sue them if you want. I mean, if it's on, okay. It's just like shooting from the hip here

and remember neither of us practice this kind of law. We do criminal practice. Not bee law, no pollen. So this is like a property law question. But I feel like... Pollen ticks? Thanks. Can you leave?acob stop clapping um my my honest

guess is that if it's on your land and they're becoming enriched from this although then it's a natural process that's what i'm saying right yes we do you fucking telling the bees then you just control it to be used right and also how much restrictions on where they can pollinate what they can do with the ball like the bees are trespassing you're breaking the law you're kind of going cop mode it's a personal property in the day is saved right unless you can't suggest that he's like, has dominion over the bees. Is it the queen bee? I do.

However, you can definitely sue. You might not win, but this is the most litigious nation probably in the world. America is the best at it. So you could sue. I mean, I would be glad to take on this lawsuit, I think. Ex-bookie Mint says,

can I sue my brother-in-law for breathing the air at my house? That seems different. That's the comment. That was their sarcasm. I don't think that's... That person owns the bees. I'll say that. Buzz buzz, can I sue my brother?

You can also sue for that. I'm going to put someone on trial real quick. Jacob, let's pull up the Olay tweet. I'd love to know what I did. You doubted sue for that. I'm going to put someone on trial real quick. Jacob, let's pull up the LA tweet. I'd love to know what I did. You doubted yourself, queen. I'm always torn between knowing I'm probably overworking myself, but feeling like I'm not doing enough. Oh, I hate y'all.

I'll never tweet no soft shit like that again lesson learned no no your thumb hovering over a tweet like to i should i am i gonna get it go no no no this is uh uh this is actually extremely relatable um which is why i which is why i liked it and but you are absolutely doing enough you're doing so much and you're doing a great job at what you're doing thank you Jarvis I appreciate that do you have a I mean is it just that ambiguous feeling of not having it

or is there a have you set like parameters for yourself like it's this number of X or this project I'm not doing no i just have a workaholic type tendency about me alex could tell you yeah she's crazy she's crazy uh i'm i'm not the opposite it's just like we work differently so i'm and it's probably my bit my greatest week is not staying on task which you are like insane on task and doing this thing abcd and you're doing everything yeah but i'm just as crazy.

The thing is, and we were talking about this yesterday when you're never there is the thing, you know what I mean? And I think that's true for everybody. Like when I talk to people who are so, so successful in what they're doing, um, they don't feel like actualized, you know, like they're not. And if they do feel that way, it's amazing, but it's something totally different. Like they've found some kind of inner peace in themselves that allows them to be like at peace.

It's one of those things that kind of can't come externally. Like there's no amount of external validation that can make you feel whole. And I think a lot of people somehow, some way have all of the internal validation of the world while contributing nothing to society. And I'm like, that must be nice. That's how I'm trying to be. Right, right, right. Let me tell you, it fucking rocks.

It feels great. I think what it is, especially in the line of work we do at content, is you're only as good as your last moment or your last viral. You know what I mean? Like the Internet's memory is like forever while also being very short right like like you did you could do something amazing two weeks ago they haven't seen you you haven't done anything you know what i mean it's weird how like uh it's a little like when the weather sucks and you just feel kind of sad but you have to think of it being something more complicated. Yeah. Where I, you know, we get a video and it's like underperformed. Yeah. And then I don't consciously think about it.

I'm going about my week and I feel just like not quite, like 2%, 5%, 20%, 30%, not great. And then we have a video that does well and I'm feeling 50% better. And in my brain, what's actually there is just an anxiety cavity where something has to fall into it yeah but when it's something is kind of i know i shouldn't be yeah being too egotistical about that thing i kind of suppress it i mean it's not because of the that's not follow a camera that's the thing i don't feel that good about the ink that's the problem i wish i could like i wish I felt as fulfilled by the success as I feel demoralized by the loss.

Right. You know what I mean? There's a negativity bias for sure. And I think that's like human. Yeah. And I think honestly what happens is I think that higher, when I do achieve a success or the higher metric, it makes me not appreciate everything underneath that.

You know what I mean? Because it sets a new watermark a new baseline exactly and so i think that's constantly happening where i feel like every and i think like every new video every time i make a new big thing it feels like it's a new opportunity to feel to go through that process all over again especially if it's this workaholic whatever whether it's like chicken egg whether you're a workaholic because you want this as all reverse if that is your mindset and behavior you are just gonna feel bad but you're not yeah yeah yeah and it's and you know at least you know to my better my men my mental health is better these days than when i was in my 20s and my younger 20s my early 20s but so i i don't feel bad i just feel anxious like

okay let me do the next thing what's the next thing what's the next project it's like i don't know like oh this project just came out and i'm already mentally three projects right and it's like oh well i didn't even take a moment to like celebrate my thing because i i have that where it's like all like achieves or i'll have something that's like an achievement and then i won't and even now i'm putting it in quotes achievement relative to you a big piece of trash and it's like I don't even appreciate it I kind of just want to move on to the next thing because I'm like okay

yeah let's move on and then I will if something goes poorly then I'm like stop let's soak in this moment let's please take it now we have to be present we have to pick in the l i was right when i felt worried before good uh and it's so and i could i see i it can intellectualize it but that doesn't always mean i can like truly like it like still sucks to go

it doesn't change anything about like walking around the house no shower ice watery it's been like this doesn't it doesn't make sense no i'm wrong that i feel bad oh now you feel good you fixed it by saying that no a note to the a note to the parasocial among you in this conversation. I remember years ago, I would watch Jarvis' videos. And yes, my plan came to fruition, and here I am. It all worked, and now I'm going to kill you. You really didn't like the videos. Last sad voice.

But it's the same thing in terms of doing something right and then getting to these places with great people who you admire and you like on the internet and being in the same room as them and not internalizing it in any kind of way, being like, oh shit, I accidentally snuck in here. Yeah, leg apart. This doesn't make any sense.

It does feel like there needs to be a second, and thank you for the nice comments. It's very sweet. You're being sweet. Stop it. All right, I won't do it again. That's feel like there needs to be a second. And thank you for the nice comments. It's very sweet. You're being sweet. Stop it. All right, I don't want to do it again. That's anti-British. Fuck you.

This is good. Also, Alex just doesn't give Alex enough flowers. I'm always like, I'm in Alex's life to remind Alex that Alex is a big deal. Because otherwise, Alex will never tell himself that. Alex would be giving me so much credit for things I do. Like, oh, I'm building my platforms. And I'd be like, you have more followers on one fucking platform than i have on all combined you still built that platform like whether or not people try to like people try to denigrate it and put

it down like if it's tiktok or do you have a fucking million followers 800 something thousand followers on tiktok like you can't just get it like everybody isn't just like i have a tiktok i have most certainly not written a book yeah way behind book and alex is doing that while still practicing as a public defender makes no sense i'm like do you know how stressful it is to be a fucking public defender yeah i'm really excited i said yeah i want to be clear it's like podcasting it's kind of the same level i would imagine yeah it's the same.

High stakes. Someone does go to jail. No, being a BD is so stressful. When Alex told me he was finally going to quit, I was like, yes. Yes. She was really happy for me. I've never been happier for him.

I was like, quit, quit. People ask me, I felt when i when i finally resigned and i'll tell you exactly what i feel like i feel like the entire time i was a public defender i felt like the room was on fire and i had a bunch of bricks on my on my shoulders and every day you have this like anxious feeling where you suddenly remember like your shoulders are heavy and you're like shit where am i gonna put the bricks like how do i put the bricks down and you're thinking that for years and then when i quit it was like i put the bricks down yeah and i just walked out like oh that's fucking excellent and then you're like samurai jack and you can you know how stressful it is when they're like think

about how many cases you have like anytime you're like 60 to 100 cases that's 60 to 100 grown-ass adult many of whom are older than you who are depending on you to keep them out of jail do you know how fucking stressful that is that is like that you're broke in new york city struggling your damn self and their phone is like ringing non-stop because a bunch of people who have the most serious thing happening in their life are all looking to you to like emotionally make them feel like not anxious and you're already dying of anxiety yourself yeah it's like a daily uh conflict in your mind of like well i know i should i imagine this you know i know i should be validating the way i'm feeling and i know i should feel be nice

to myself when i get the flu but it's it's my life it's better than the situation this person is in. It's the worst. The difference between like being selfish, feeling selfish when it's just you at home and then feeling selfish if you have like a kid. Right. You know, it would be this kind of thing where I would be in a really bad mood because of work, you know, because something that happened

or you deal with people in a courtroom who, and I want to be really clear so much of the time when you're a public defender, you are the only person advocating for the person that's sitting next to you in that courtroom. And a lot of the time it is, it is like literally the most vulnerable person, uh, like in society, you know what I mean? It could be, they could be a transient person who like lives on the street and is in a wheelchair and like just the most vulnerable person you could think of uh and they will disrespect that person to no end the judge will the people who work in the courtroom will obviously the people prosecuting the case don't like your client um and uh Um, and, uh, you see that every day, just like constantly. And then you're walking into, um, you know, cages to visit your, your clients. And I, and I, some of that stuff, I mean, I wrote some of this stuff in my book and I also like journaled a lot when I was working. Yeah. And talking to their families and, um. and um kind of sounds like the way you've described it is a it is kind of uh death adjacent like it feels there's like a mourning element to it and uh yes you know that there's no good ending to the story there's just a fine it feels like despair son it yeah i mean you something it

it fundamentally it doesn't matter who the person is, uh, or how tough they are, all the people that do it, it fundamentally changes them forever because you see human beings like torn down to the bottom. You know what I mean? Like to their, to the base parts, basically, you know, like how do you tell someone, how do you tell a 20 year old that they're not going to be home for the holidays for the next four years actually because they're going upstate and then this is the first time in their life that it's dawning on them that this is now they're in the big boy club because now they're going upstate and this isn't juvie shit anymore you know and you like that experience like you have that conversation with them you watch them deal

with that and you're the only person they're sitting them sitting there with them, you watch them deal with that, and you're the only person there sitting there with them and giving them that information. And you can't become desensitized. You try not to. But I think it can make you really bitter. And I think part of the reason why I left is, I'm not saying I'll never go back. It's always funny because she's like,

oh, you're done, you're never going back. One last job. Yeah, RIP OJ. back always funny because she's like oh you're done you never come back but like one last job one last job yeah uh r.i.p oj um but what happened but uh i you know i felt that happening to me and i think like for me my strong my biggest strength in doing the work was the relationships i developed like with my client and the care that I had for them, but it also made the job worse for me. Because you're pissed, and then you get a call from somebody who's at Rikers, and you're like, I can't be pissed at this person right now.

They're at Rikers, I'm at home in my apartment, I'm just annoyed because I had a shitty day, and I wrote this motion, and blah, blah, blah, whatever. But the people that do it are tough as hell, and I have nothing but respect for them i hope maybe in the future to do something with it again in some capacity uh but yeah it's if not literally working in that role it's a type of um i don't know it's a type of endurance right that is that's transferable to anything, including just empathizing with people. I think that the people that do it,

I think it's like hurt goes to hurt, right? Like the people that do any kind of like public interest facing legal work with like- If they care. Client services. Yes, true. And there's, and yeah, that's- So I think that's a big caveat.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I think sometimes, especially with the emergence of people like me and Alex, like on the internet, I think like, and I love that because there are a lot of people who work in public interest and who are public defenders who are like this and have this like goal. But that is not the majority and that is not what a lot of the offices themselves. Empathy is the norm. Or a lot of people, a lot of people, especially who become defense attorneys and who become public defenders in generations before us, we're not educated in the same way. They don't have the same outlook on it. A lot of them believe the system is just,

both sides are necessary. People need to be punished. I'm there to move things along. A lot of them see it like that. There are a lot of defense attorneys and a lot of public defenders, and I've known them, who feel about the clients

the same way the prosecutors across the street feel about them. Yeah, yeah. What they're doing is just due process and the result, whatever it is, is right. Yeah. And sometimes have disdain for them. Yeah. And I mean, the craziest thing is when you have a colleague, and it happens, like go

and work for the DA after working in your office, you know, or go become a judge. One of the judges that I was frequently against, who is one of my least favorite judges I've ever practiced in front of, was on our team that I worked on. And apparently like before my time and apparently would just like take bad pleas, which you know, like if somebody, if someone comes in,

if your attorney ever comes in and just like take this and like, that's a conversation, get a new attorney. Like they would just be, he would just present things as this is what it is. And so basically all of his clients would do time whereas very few of my clients

or they either didn't do time or did only a little bit of time because I would actually work the cases which is what you're supposed to do. Are you outside of upward mobility or reputation or something are you incentivized

to win cases? Or is it just doing due process? So the definition of win is, I think, like, here's the thing. Most cases never go to trial. And like, depending on how you, like, what do you consider a win? Like, let me give you a fair example. Like, most cases don't get resolved as a criminal conviction in the first place at all, or even with any level of anything like that.

But the prosecutor's office will do things. They know a case is a bullshit case, but instead of dismissing it outright, they'll agree to an ACD, which is an adjournment and contemplation of dismissal, where they agree that they'll automatically dismiss and seal it like a year from now or six months from now. But they're still looking at that as they got a plea, they got to win. You know what I mean?

Or so like, you'll be charged with a crime. They can't convict you in the crime. So they'd be like, take a discount, disorderly conduct, which is a violation of our crime, but they'll still be like,

they, they got to win. Like they got something. So it was like, what is a win? You know what I mean? And if you have a conditional discharge, which is like effectively like an invisible probation

that's hanging over your head, the hope for them is also that you get in trouble again. So then you come back in front of the court and guess what? Now you have this other thing that was hanging over your head previously. You've got a new case. So it's just like this machine that churns. And it's hard once someone gets into the system, their life becomes infinitely more difficult.

I guess, yeah, from your side of the aisle, your entire job is mitigation, right? Yeah. Versus there's very few failures on the side of the prosecution. Anything aside from complete acquittal is a win for them. Yeah. I think you're incentivized to do what makes sense to you. Like for you, like for your own personal practice, like as like prosecutors have very little control, like especially like the line, the average line prosecutor, day to day prosecutor we would be across from.

They have to do what they're like. DAs have decided what's the policy that what they can offer. Like they don't have a lot of say, but we actually have a lot of say over what we do in our individual case. So there's really good for good and for bad. There's no real oversight to it. No one's like sitting down exploring with us what we bad. There's no real oversight to it. No one's like sitting down exploring with us what we do with our cases, how we handle it. So everything has to do with what we want to do. And I know like for me, I don't like taking, I don't like doing

anything that I think is going to be hard for me to sell the client on. Like if I, I would look at it and like, if, would I like this? Like if I, some of them, they'll be like, oh, if you plead to, like you'll, no criminal conviction, but you'll have to do a week of criminal, community service and pay a fine and figure out how to get there.

And I'm like, I've been broke in New York. I know how fucking expensive and stressful it is trying to get around on the subway and to do a bunch of different things.

So for me, I'm like, that's ass. I'm not taking that to my client because I don't want to sell you on it. I want to try and figure out how to get rid of this

because I don't want to sell it. So, but if you're somebody who thinks all that is fair, my client should be in programs and these are people and dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, you're like, you're not going to be incentivized to go and push for that, to be pushed against the program or the fee or whatever, because you don't. So I really think it has everything to do with like what kind of lawyer you are, what your values are and what do you think is fair? You know, because that has a lot to do with it. Like, I've been on the phone with a lot of prosecutors. Like, I remember a prosecutor called me and was like, you know, I'm sure we both agree

that some form of a punishment is appropriate here. And I was like, no, we don't fucking agree. And that's when I realized that told me a lot, though. It let me know how this person is someone interacting with public defenders all day long. So they clearly do deal with public defenders that think some form of punishment is appropriate here. Like they start from that base of feeling like, oh, you know you fucked up or blah, blah, blah.

I'm not like that. You're involved in a case. You must have done something. I'm not going to jail. And I second see for a case, and this happens a lot, I feel like a lot of black attorneys have this experience where we're brought on for cases

because like they want us for optics or they want us it's like did you did you watch the people versus oj and they how they brought in chris start in because the other side had johnny cochran and they want this black guy here is a lot of that so like white attorneys will bring you in because they don't like communicating with the clients or whatever have you so i second sat a case with this old white man was very like the client is upset because you're trying to tell him he's accused of fucking stealing an iPhone and he's looking at years of jail time. And the white attorney is like,

it's his own fucking fault. It's his own fault. He's an idiot. It's his own this, that, and I'm like, you don't think this is fucking crazy? And so it would be stuff like that where I realized like, we feel fundamentally different about this.

Like he sees the plea for like a bunch of years and he's like, that's not bad. Sure. That's not bad. And I'm like, that's fucking crazy. It's on the basis of a gun control conversation internationally. Yeah. Like even now with some relatively, I think like politically aligned friends of mine have, especially when still living in NorCal,

there was a lot of like, I don't know, seeking a justification, the loosest justification to have some degree of access to firearms in the US because it's so foundational that members of my extended family in the UK, who, you know, for the UK, some of them are kind of conservative. They may not even vote, but they would endorse a Boris Johnson at the time and stuff like that. To them, it's like, no, you can have a fucking gun. Are you crazy?

What are you talking about? And they're just exchanging different currencies. It's like, oh, we're having this back and forth in the same room, but wait, sorry, you like jail yeah jail is cool no that has that has a lot to do with it like i think like one of my first case that i ever like won was um it was a dui and the reason why it was yours everybody and it was it was this older black lady and the reason why

I so it was a case it existed before me it had been like it had been going on for more than a year and like another senior attorney had it

that shit's crazy how long are these things going oh yeah for fucking ever and so the senior attorney had had it but then she was on like leave or something

so the case gets transferred to me and I the reason why i wanted so at first i took it to my supervisor at the time who's this old black lady who hated my fucking guts for believing she's like this old black woman who was like always trying to make life hell for the young women because she like still thinks she's sexy and like looks at you as a problem i swear a real hayden broad i had it with all my heart but with a passion with a fucking passion so I go into

this lady's office one day like hey like look at this read this for me I think that this complaint is facially insufficient like I actually think

someone should have filed that motion on this which and like and so she says to me she's like you want to know what I think I was like yeah

she was like I think you need to learn the worth of the case she was like you see like look at this file call that lady she was like

call her and explain to her why she has to take the plea and i was like no you know like this is an old like think about it i'm like 25 i just turned 25 when i became a public defender this is an old black lady who thinks i am a child who asked me at her first hearing when am i gonna go be a real lawyer like she's not hearing that shit like she wasn't trying to hear that from me so like you go call her and she'd be like let me tell you what I think and what I heard from such and such at the Rikers Bar Association like and I'm like so I was like nah I gotta figure out how to get rid of this case how to get this dismissed because I don't know how to make this whole lady do anything and so that was the only reason why I'm like all right and I wrote that

motion and I did get it dismissed and I'm like so a lot of it i think what you're incentivized to do has everything to do with what you were worried about what your considerations are what your values are sounds like an environment that would cultivate a am i doing enough mindset to be honest that tweet is the result of your lifetime exactly you understand but just the power like there is such a um there's such an imbalance of power in the attorney-client relationship uh in this context and you and i think lawyers criminal defense and public defenders especially know this that um you can make your not always there's some very stubborn clients. Those are the least fun to counsel

because you give them the best deal in the world and they're like, we're going to beat the case and they're facing like 15 years. Oh no, no, no. What's worse is a client who's, you're giving, they are offering them a dismissal.

Yeah, they don't want that. You're offering them a dismissal and they don't want the fucking dismissal because they want their day in court yeah whatever movie tv show they think they're gonna go give a speech right have them because they are like at the fact that the system okay you know they they don't want the the they don't want the 30 day acd they don't want to dismiss in 30 days they want it like they whatever they want i don't know what they think is gonna happen but once a day in court i'd be like that's not this but not for just for they

want a dismissal right they just want it after but they want to they want like a jury yeah yeah they want to do a trial even though it doesn't make sense but um pretty cool pretty badass you know that is you can sounds ridiculous don't get a sovereign citizen client i'm sorry oh yeah well i was just gonna say that this sounds like before we get into sovereign citizen people uh it it sounds like there's already so much momentum and so much inertia keeping the status quo of like oh just send someone to jail oh like there's so much friction. You're already going against the grain

trying to get somebody like paying attention to someone's case and actually trying to get the right, doing the right thing. Yeah. Rather than just like having them like serve time or whatever. They also just waste time. Like it's just a profound waste of time

that happens in court. You know, I would never, my whole thing was i would never hide at the ball i told them exactly like prosecution or parole whoever i was like against i told them exactly what i was going to do and often i would tell them what was going to happen like legally like i'm going to win this motion and this is what's going to be the client no i'm talking about the prosecution i told them i told them oh you're so different than me. Yeah, no, no. No, I mean, there's certain circumstances where obviously you don't show your cards,

but I telegraphed the things I'm going to do in order to try to get better pleas or deals or whatever. Oh, I do. I threaten people, yes. Sure. But for me, it was like... Here's where I'm going to go to your house. Oh, I'm good for...

Let me tell you what I'm going to say on the record. On Monday, like... Did you notice? I'm definitely going to go to your house. I'm good for, let me tell you what I'm going to say on the record. On Monday, like, did you notice? I'm definitely going to tell the judge that. Here are the coordinates of your, here's your kid's school. I'm doxing them on the record. But I would tell them exactly what I was going to do because I guess there was some part of me, the stupid part of me, that was like,

maybe today will be the day that they do the thing where they don't waste my goddamn time. You know, like maybe this will be the day. And they never did, obviously. And we would win these cases. And then at the end of them, I'd be like, do you see, like, do I lie to you? I tell you every time, like, this is not worth anything. Cause for some reason, prosecutors are like, oh no, this is sorry. We don't dismiss those kinds of cases or whatever. And I'm like, this case has been dragging for two years you don't have a complaining witness you don't blah blah blah blah you know but it's just like this machine that keeps you it's the dumbest thing in the world and it costs billions of dollars across the united states and it's evil it's just the amount of stress and like like like people's lives that are on pause. Oh, yeah. It's just misery.

And so much day-to-day law or anything is just a dick measuring contest. Yeah. Yeah. Like, because a lot of it is like between, like, think about negotiating a case. You're like, you're calling up a prosecutor as another person. Some of whom, like, you went to school with. You know what I mean? From time to time.

I don't know if you've been across from any of your classmates. Like, my law school roommate was a prosecutor. I was across. That's such an odd. That is the thing I think I forget about about that where it's just like a community you think you think of anything legal and it's like yeah one robot goes up yeah it seems like it's this very serious thing that's about you know the law and looking up the statutes every day and arguing that and a lot of it is not you know when they got drunk and threw up at that party like it is too

yeah it isn't that like a lot of times like even in court like on the day-to-day you have a bunch of cases as a as a public defender you're going to court on all these cases and you go talk to the prosecutor like is there anything on it or whatever have you if you get an offer so it's a person you're talking to as i ask everything to do with your personal interaction with them and there's been a lot of lots of times like prosecutors like it isn't a based on the law what we argue, but about whose personality won out. You know what I mean? Who was slicker in this argument?

Who was the stronger in this? Or there have been times, like, I've walked in the court with a prosecutor, like a male prosecutor, and granted, I recognize that there's lots of different things that are, lots of different things benefit you. That's the thing. It's a personal experience, like how the court receives you. And the same way your clients are assessed based on what they look like, who they are, what their race is, is the same way attorneys are assessed too, right? So there are different things you have to give strength, different things that have to mind,

or different things that hamper you. But there have definitely been times I go walk into court, I'm very like, hey boo, hey boo, to all the lawyers, all of this, all the prosecution, people like me. And I've definitely walked into court to prosecutors that have met me, and they're like, hey boo,

are you feeling like a dismissal? Because I'm feeling like a dismissal. And they've been like, like that definitely happens so i i think there is a lot of that like prosecutors being like hello sir however is your day dead ass i get in trouble all the time in cross-examination for being flirty? No. I was like, what are you in trouble for? Trying to flirt with the witness. No. Just like...

You want to witness something else? Maybe a kiss? No, just like going down a road that they don't want me to go down. I'll be like, oh, withdrawn, withdrawn. Like just like... Like a fishing expedition? Yeah, just fishing.

I'm like, this is discovery. It's nice to have a psych system just kidding what what's wrong i'm kidding everybody heard that though right yeah and i would i mean god the killer says what oh no there there is something there is definitely something to performance like performance like i said a lot of being a lawyer is being a storyteller and like being a performer and like how you make the other side feel and like how their ego feels if they get shaken up or, you know, get upset. Like I've definitely like my law school roommate, like I remember like, I think the one, our first

arraignments together where she's the prosecutor for arraignments. I walk in like, oh, hey, and she was like, oh, hey, like the offer is this and i was like oh okay didn't with denied rejected we don't want it but she's like what is this world we're in now and after that she's like oh what do you want even the people working in the field now like like i've not been involved in any case like this, but I have this visual in my head. Based on all the media I've consumed, even casually, cynically, like, I've seen it and gone, like, this is obviously bullshit. SVU, this is not accurate.

It's not some kind of, like, objectively just system. But, I mean, I can't do jury duty because I'm a foreigner. Same. Same. Same. Respect. I wish I could do jury duty. It sucks, right? It takes 50 years.

Yeah, me on your jury, you're going home. But I mean, everyone on a jury's seen an episode of SVU. Everyone on a jury has seen something. Like Kramer versus Kramer. I don't know. They've seen Kramer gather their whole life. That's the thing, right? It's like, the jury is, like, you know, fishing for all these other things, but everybody is groomed to

be in, like, support of the state. Yeah, no, literally. That's kind of what I mean about this. All this momentum and inertia is going towards support of the carceral system, support of the state, support of, you know, like, do the crime, do the time without, like, any of the nuance or, like, humanity.

Yeah, think how much it disadvantages a person who is going through a trial to walk into the courtroom in handcuffs. Oh, my God, yeah. Just visually to a person. He's wearing the criminal things. Right. Special watches.

Restrained. He's a dangerous man. Yeah. Just wearing a T-shirt that says the crime. I love this. Speaking of trial, speaking of very important decisions that can be made on the courtroom floor, we are going to move into our next segment, which is about bad food, and we're calling it food court.

Done. Done. Guilty. So we've got some, uh, some images and posts of food and essentially you are going to be, uh, the,

I guess jury and decide if, uh, this is okay or not. Okay. Okay. I'm hungry. I can do this is okay or not okay. Okay. I'm hungry. I can do this. Yeah, I'm hungry too.

Yeah, you have to eat them. That's the judgment. Pink cheese. Why the fuck would you want to make that? Failed attempt at making pink cheese out of strawberry milk. I'm not an expert on this, but is it theoretically possible to make this? I wish we had an expert.

Why would you want to do that, you sicko? Pink cheese? It's funny that they asked if it's theoretically possible after they tried it. Like now they question it. I guess theoretically, is this possible? Just no, you're holding it. You're the only person to test it. mean i could imagine a world where it's not bad what are the comments what don't encourage this

jarvis what are you doing okay okay what are you doing strawberry milk just want to give a shout out to r slash cheese i like that the comments are genuine respect 10 online users of r slash cheese making available right now if we need a witness. Yeah, we need them. No, you're right. I shouldn't enable them. It doesn't look like a failure to me at all. It's pretty much what I would expect. Strawberry milk will almost certainly

be... UHT milk? UHT milk? It's disgusting. You will only be able to get a small curd, acid coagulated cheese. Oh, these are real cheese heads. I'm so concerned. I'm guessing like,

well, yeah, this strawberry milk isn't pure. It won't work as regular milk like you think. That much is obvious. Wait, what? What about the photo? They said it doesn't look like a failure to me. I'm like, but it, what do you a failure to me. I'm like put it Egregious is the jury ever allowed to go like death we voted guilty, but we also choose death

No, they not unless they don't get a death penalty instruction. I see now that this was different than what I thought it would be. Oh. A spaghetti bagel. Wait a minute. Why are all these photos like evidence? A spaghetti bagel. No, it's a spaghetti donut. It's a spaghetti donut.

Oh, I thought it was a spaghetti bagel. A spaghetti bagel is a lot more acceptable than a spaghetti donut. I'm 100% in agreement with that. A spaghetti donut is foul. Right. A spaghetti bagel, I can understand acceptable than a spaghetti donut. I'm 100% in agreement with that. Spaghetti donut is foul. Right. A spaghetti bagel, I can understand. This looks like an AI image. It looks pretty.

No, it doesn't. Look at them nails. A real person made those shoes. This is the hand test. Unfortunately. I wish it was AI. This is going to be a mistrial, I think. Because I think I might eat it.

Oh, it's gone gone there's the evidence it doesn't look good that's your assessment i'm hungry but your honor it looks bad i probably would eat that i'm not gonna lie to you i it is sweet are you i'm imagining the way it would taste right now and it feels good. I think it might be. Are you Italian at all? Well, I'm from New York, so I grew up on Long Island.

To anybody who's listening to this and they don't see him, he is what you think he is. What? What does that mean? The type that would eat a spaghetti donut with no hesitation. I kind of... That's so crazy. It's almost like you're so unused to be in the white person room,

you don't even notice my racial humor. I'm saying because you're white. Thank you. You know how y'all are with food. Case in point. You were saying earlier that there's only one race, the human race, right? Yeah, that's what I'm always saying. You don't see color. That's why I didn? Yeah, that's what I'm always saying. You don't see color.

That's what I'm always saying. The human race. I'd eat the bagel. I'd eat the spaghetti donut. Is it all spaghetti? Yeah, I guess it's like a pizza donut. I think it's fried like a donut is. It's getting worse the more you zoom in.

It's like a film. It looks cold and that's the worst part. I know. Like heated? Okay. Why did they make it out of a kitchen? They wanted to take a photo inside and they're like, this doesn't look good. It'll look really good in pale clouds.

The lighting isn't good here Let's move outdoors Alright no Well that's what one quarter of the It's a mistrial Is that a mistrial when three people In this jury it is With a jury this small you need Unanimous

Is somebody getting up for the jury saying what they've decided And one going no Also I feel like, yeah, maybe we messed up during jury selection because there was a guy here who would clearly eat. With a big chef's hat on. Mamma mia, it looks nice on me.

Sorry, it's offensive. Thank you for apologizing. I don't. Come on. I should call him. So I believe, my guess here is that they attempted to make a bagel and they accidentally made an anus.

I mean. I mean, yeah. A what? It's just a bagel. It's just a bagel. Yeah, it's just a funny looking bagel. I don't be sexualizing my food. Yeah, exactly.

There's nothing wrong with the shape of it. Is this freaks? Yet again, what is this photo environment? Where are my tracks? No, I don't know what they have it on. I don't know. I understand that you're zooming in Jacob, just to give us a better look.

Did you think we didn't notice that? Something about the way you're zooming in. You're going to get sucked in. Yeah, that was like a succession style snap zoom. Can you go ahead and zoom in twice as much? Yeah. Enhance? Wait, no.

I would eat a freshly made home bagel that's just weird looking. Yeah, for sure. Yeah. I mean, a certain level of zoomed in, it really becomes, you know. I don't like the way it's looking at me. It kind of looks like a little llama to me. Can you send me that? I want to tweet this.

You know that little, like, the cute, like, llama? It kind of looks like to me. I don't know why. It's like a magic eye painting where if you blow your eyes, it's like two people kissing. Yeah, you know what? I'm on board. This is not a food crime. Yeah, it's a llama bagel. Oh, it looks like the

Mr. Oogie Boogie from Nightmare Before Christmas. I remember them, but it looks like a llama to me. And now I'm sticking to it. The jury has decided it's one of these. Oh, fuck no. Fuck no. Turn it off.

Exit it. Close it down. Jacob, zoom in. Close it down. Wait, wait, wait. No, no. What could you possibly do? Turn it down. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,

wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, And this person should be investigated. You know what? I will say. Wait, is this pre? It's like bacon as a diaper. Please close it.

Yeah, cook it. Uncooked bacon. It's too much. Is that what meatloaf looks like before it's cooked? Well, that's what I was saying. No, no. The bacon was uncooked. What is something you found out?

You found out late in life that you should have known earlier, but you just didn't. I have been eating airheads incorrectly for the past 20 years. Come here. So apparently airheads are like this, right? They're flat, okay? Flat surface. But apparently you're supposed to shake the airheads before opening them so that they end up tiny,

like little cubes. What? Because it makes the flavor just a bit differently. And this specific one, the mystery flavor, I guess changes flavors after you shake it to the bottom so i'm going to shake them and see how they turn out as you can see it's like this right now i need to shake it until it gets to the bottom part where it's like a little cube so just for reference i've been shaking it for about a minute now this is the

difference so far i'm going to keep going all What? It's now this big in comparison to what it was. We'll see how it looks and how it tastes. As you can see, it's like a little tiny cube. No way. Yeah. The flavor tastes different. So what is the texture of an egghead? Bad.

It's like microplastics. Because you weren't doing apparently the right thing. You remember those markers you used to have as a kid that you would get and like you'd be kind of good for that? Yeah.

It's because like you're supposed to wet them. It's like watercolor. Like an airhead. You're supposed to wet it? I feel like is that really what you were supposed to do?

They never mentioned it in any of the commercials. How about I do whatever I want? I bought it. I could see a marketing man totally disregarding what the scientist was saying. But they need to know

the process of marketing. I was like, shut the fuck up. No, these girls are going to be my best friends. The mayor was like, no, they will be my super soul. You have to shake them.

Chemical X or whatever. Have either of you ever seen the British candy bar, Yorkie? No. It's about as generic. It's just a chocolate bar. Tastes not very good. And I always think of York peppermint patties. Look up a Yorkie bar and then girl.

Yes. Full. Not available in pink. It's not for girls. It's not for girls. Let me tell you that Crushed is an advertising campaign when I was like middle school age because all the girls doing it rebelliously.

Me and the fellas doing it to support a brand that we related to. Tastes like shit. Do either of you remember dr pepper 10 no i never liked dr pepper 10 yeah it was a it was a we got to do it i this has come up before can we just look up dr pepper 10 commercial yeah this movie's not for you it's either is dr pepper 10 23 flavors from 10 manly calories. It's what guys want. Like this. Catchphrase.

Dr. Pepper 10. It's not for women. I think the... And that's crazy because Dr. Pepper is trash. I'm glad I know that. I just got it. I mean, it's the damage that Old Spice did to Adversizing. Yeah.

Cool commercial, but saying catchphrase, how embarrassing. Maybe it's just... Maybe it's just like, maybe it comes back around and becomes gender affirming. Oh, yeah, maybe. It's for guys. It's for men, but we recognize gender as a construct and we're playing into that. Long slogan. It's going around the can. Who's to say? Actually, on on reflection who am i to tell you anyhow enjoy the soda it's not great i'm gonna say uh fake

fake bad i don't believe it on the airhead is it generally a fan of of jordan but this is jordan we love you. Jordan from TikTok. That's crazy. Y'all aren't with him. I'm with him. I support you. I support you. But I think that things are just,

people do just make stuff up on TikTok. I'm not saying he made it up. I'm not saying he made it up. I'm just saying people- Y'all saw it work. Yeah, no. I didn't taste it work. He ate the mystery flavor.

Somebody buy a fucking airhead. No, you saw work. You saw the placebo effect working. Also, is the mystery flavor always the same flavor? How would you know? Maybe it was a different mystery. Maybe it's more satisfying in the same way that like shelled pistachios taste different because of the effort required to shake that for five minutes or whatever.

Jordan, answer for your crimes. We need to buy Airhead. The next time I come to LA, please help Airhead. Yeah, we gotta try this out. I'm just afraid like a tooth will come out if I chew one of those things. I do. I'm trying. I've got to try this out. I'm just afraid like a tooth will come out if I chew one of those things. I do. I'm trying. I've tried to be the dental health bastard for a long time. And I thought I was doing fine.

And then I had one of those like kind of like a sour cluster, nerds, nerds cluster. It hurt. I like bit it. And I'm like, wait, wait, wait, what happened? I didn't do anything wrong. I feel like nerds, well, I haven't ever had the clusters, but regular nerds, you just kind of like suckle on them for a while. Jesus.

You got to calm down. You chew? That's crazy to me. Oh, yeah. Oh, I didn't chew them. I suckled them. Is that rope? Is that that one?

That's crazy. No, you chew them and they're strong and quick. What? No, it's rope. Rope. Yeah, I'll bite and imagine. Oh, that's not regular nerds. Do you think?

The rope... Surrounded by the rope is nerds. And they would come in like a box. Has anyone ever offed themselves using nerds rope? Like his feet on a chair, wobbling on the stool. Too much. That's like how a Keebler elf would kill themselves. The notes written in gel pen.

Can you go back to that website? Jacob stumbled on the wholesale candy website. Oh, perfect. Nerds Rainbow Bulk. 30 pounds. I mean, that'll kill you. 30 pounds for $130. I want to do the math.

That sounds like a good deal, though. Disclaimers. Color may vary from photograph. May contain egg. How? May. One of them's an egg. A quail's egg.

Did you ever eat the Willy Wonka candies? Which ones? The real ones? The ones that said Willy Wonka chocolate. It wasn't the chocolate, but it was like the, wait. Wait a second. Gobstoppers. Gobstoppers can get. Wait a second.

Is that also a jawbreaker? I'm thinking of the ones that were like different fruits And then like One of them was banana And it was shaped like a banana That makes Violet Beauregard a big circle I wasn't a jawbreaker You guys don't know the canon of Willy Wonka

Oh no Only knows all about this Yeah what's that Runts Oh yeah run though The banana was fucked dude those shits were so Oh You were chewing them. I was always suckling. I was always I was always suckling. I don't remember that mean great

Run some chill sour patch children. I'd rather eat a couple nerds All of these things I'm talking about? All of these things. I'm seeing some meals or anything. Just give me the beef, baby. How about that? Leave the dipe. Uncooked dipe.

Wait, what was our, what were we? You're on number six. Oh, yeah, we're on six. Oh. Wait, what? Wait. Is that a hand? Are those fingers? Is it an elephant? Is it chick flying? Is that a hand? Is it an elephant?

Is it Chick-fil-A? Yeah, one thing I don't play about is my food. Because what the fuck is this? Bitch, just over here munching away. I'm just over here munching away, y'all. I would 100% agree with that.

I'd have been 8-Dot. over here munching away, y'all. I would 100% just hope that Nate died. I'd have been ate up. It's Ratatouille. Oh, sorry. It's Remy. It's Remy. I wouldn't even get the time to investigate that. I would have been... I need her to cut it open.

It's a regular piece of chicken shaped bunny. That's what I think. I think it's just a regular piece of chicken shaped bunny that's what i think i think it's just a regular piece of chicken so many pictures at cedar rapids yeah i would not bite into i wouldn't take that risk y'all are so funny i would have been eating this i wouldn't have even i wouldn't even noticed maybe i'm sure it's a delicacy somewhere right that is just a piece of fried fried I would have been eating this I wouldn't have even noticed you know what I mean that's what I would have ate it it may be I'm sure it's a delicacy somewhere

right that is just a piece of chicken fried rat I'm with you I do think it's just a piece of chicken because I just don't

think it's a pretty small rat it's very small it's always those things where they say you know there's some

oh this meat is actually like worms or something and then you look at the cost it would be like more expensive for them to make

like worms burgers right than just like burgers crawling through the dirt i'll eat it thumbs up i honestly i don't want to hold back progress and i will vote go ahead sour patch kids oreos no supposedly these don't come out for another two weeks, but someone at Walgreens put these out on the shelf too early. I love that. That happens with like products. You know what I mean? Like, oh, a video game got leaked by the GameStop employee early, or like this set of Pokemon cards came out early.

But I love the dude that's enthusiastic about these weren't even supposed to be out for two weeks, but I got my hands on the Sour Patch Kid Oreos. I'm naughty for eating these. And they're going to be out for two weeks but i got my hands on the sour patch kid oreos i'm naughty for eating these and they're gonna be nasty as hell sour patch kids flavored cookie with colorful inclusions i think that means that the flavor of the sour patch kids in the cookie but not in the cream that might just be coloring you can see it just kind of looks like confetti right here there's no way a little dirty liar when you have to be confused this flavor i'm a person who really likes sour stuff so you got to hear me out they nailed the flavor of sour patch kids because when it starts off it just tastes sweet that's not yeah i was like i don't want them to do that

let's accidentally do more oreo i wanted you to do something different yeah that's like when there's a party you don't want to go to and it's like we had to like oh rats okay this milk really nailed the sour flavor i think we're trying to take a bite but i accidentally ate the whole cookie oh that's disgusting oh that's so so much crimes yeah that's a crime i'm gonna say no on that yeah big time that's disgusting do we we were willing to eat the chick-fil-a rat that's different it hasn't been a couple weeks since this TikTok. Has this been confirmed as a real product? It's a real product. I believe it's real.

Yeah, you can see the package. I can see the package. I'm like, I know what Oreo's packaging looks like now. Well, I would have been more convinced if I saw him peel that little, you know, the sticky top thing. Oh, see, eliminate. He didn't do that for you? All right. I made wine from Mountain Dew, and I'm going to take you through the entire process.

At first, I wasn't sure if this would even work, but I had to try. After all, the only thing you need to make wine is sugar and yeast. I had to try. Would I try a glass? Yes. Yeah. Oh, for sure. The answer is yeah.

Because it's in the right genre, right? Would I drink a cocktail that was Mountain Dew? Why not? I just, that image, that jar. This looks like pickle juice. Yeah. It looks. It looks... It's got an anime figure in it.

The jar was a mistake. You're right. The jar was a choice. We have a word for when something is in a small size. You're like, okay, that's fine. But when there's a lot of it, it's disgusting. For example, an egg, like a loose egg yolk or whatever. One, fine, delicious. have it on a toast.

A hundred of them, disgusting, I'm going to throw up. You know what I mean? Yes. Yeah. It's funny. This guy talks like that guy who did the, my day in the life of a Chicago, a guy in Chicago, and we got wine. Oh, yeah. We went to Birdie's and got wine or got something flutes.

I can't even fucking remember the bit, but you know what I'm talking about, right? I think so, yeah. The voiceover, yeah. He does a thousand things and drinks like a hundred times. Yes, that thing is amazing. Yeah, it's great, but the voiceover reminds me of that.

Should we do this? There's nothing in our way, right? Like, business expense some honey, business expense some... Yeah, no, you should definitely make it. Having the giant... G fuel. All right, let's see. Do with honey and yeast in a mead kit and let it ferment for a few weeks and see what happens.

You're probably wondering about the preservatives in Mountain Dew. Well, I thought about that too. And it turns out they're ineffective if you slightly raise the pH, which is exactly what I did and is easy to do with a bit of baking soda. This might seem like a ton of sugar, but all of it's converted to alcohol as it ferments. So I set this aside and very naturally, I cut my eyes when I saw it fermenting. I let it continue to go to work for about four weeks, and then I actually decided to add a clarifier to help under-fast forward a few weeks, and I confirmed that it was done fermenting and got an estimated alcohol content of 13.9%.

And now for the moment of truth. To my surprise, this didn't taste completely like battery acid, but more like a smooth citrus mead with maybe a slight chemical aftertaste. But honestly, I expected worse. I consider this a massive win and this is just one of many crazy ideas I want to try. So let me know. I've changed my answer. I'm not going to do it.

It's going to be a confrontational jury. I'd try it. I made beer once under my bed. Under your bed? When I lived in San Francisco. And now you're doing that comment? No, I definitely am not trying it. Does it have to be in the shade or something?

Yeah, it can't be in direct sunlight. Yeah, we had beer in a closet in college. It's kind of fun to make it. I'm genuinely thinking about doing it. Until he started introducing additional clarifier powders and stuff, and that seems like a lot of work. I was... Jacob, can you send me it?

And I will try it. Like, actually making it, and then in what, a month? Oh, wow. I put it in... What if you poison yourself? I know, there are know. There are some steps that feel like if they went wrong, something could happen.

I'll be adjusting my will. Right now, Jarvis gets all my video games. Yes. My girlfriend gets my drawings. I see company recalls its popular zero-sugar drink because it contains full sugar. This is not a big article.

They actually recalled Swep's zero-sugar ginger ale, caffeine-free, drink because it contains full sugar. This is not a news article. They actually recalled Sweps zero sugar ginger ale caffeine free because it contained sugar. I've always expected shit like this. I learned over the years. I'm going to teach you how to tell whether a soda is full sugar or zero sugar or diet. It is called the stick test. As you can see right

here, I've got an unopened brand new diet soda. And what you want to do, you want to take it out, pour some of it out, and then just rub your fingers in it and if it is sticky then it's soda if it's not sticky it's not diets or it is diet soda because there's no sugar in it i could do this all day long it's not sticky it feels just like water this is how you tell at a restaurant if you want to see if you got a real sugar soda another i love i love doing that whenever i go to a restaurant i just pour drink all over the table. On your desk?

I feel like you could be anywhere else. I'll take it a la mode. With a little ice cream just dumped on the table, please. This is funny. I do know what this is. Rubbing my steak to check it doesn't have sugar in it. I don't know how to pronounce this word, but PepsiCo just officially recalled their sugar-free Shua Pee Pee's ginger ale.

I do love this thing of people mispronouncing things for virality. Yeah, engagement. Light rage, right? Just delicate rage, right? Well, there's all these accounts on TikTok and it's amazing because it's like an open secret. People know this,

but whenever you see something of a group of people making weird food, or you should do a video on this if you haven't already. Have you done a video on this? Maybe. You really should. What are you scared? They will make weird food.

Some of it is fetish content, apparently, and they'll make quesadilla on a kitchen island or or they have ones where the construction ones are good where it's clearly a guy who like owns a construction company and he they're gonna like demolish a house or something so he drills a hole in the wall and he's like this is how you make some cool decorations and it's like they'd make like a harry potter decal and like a broom through the wall it looks it looks horrible and it has millions of comments on it of people just being like this looks like shit and

it's like those people just made $15,000 okay that security deposit is yeah you see if you see that around said it to me okay I will I mean you've seen the guys that like go he just goes to hotels for some reason they're constantly traveling to hotels and then cooking like spaghetti in the sun oh that guy's oh you know that guy right yeah and the airplane did the airplane shrimp yes oh my god with a what like a in a bathroom battery in the yes yeah with the battery with the battery in the bathroom. Crazy, crazy. Is bringing a generator easier to get onto a plane than a hot plane?

It's honestly, can we play that video, though? It's so disgusting. This is the most suspicious man. If he dare try to make food in there. Nah. Is this in the plane? In the plane. And he's not in prison? If he dare try to make food in there. Nah. Is this in the plane? In the plane.

And he's not in prison? If this dude was brown, shot on the plane. Are you fucking serious? Oh, I know you're fucking lying. You are the nasty. You know fucking nasty. The fucking airplane bathroom. This is just. That's where COVID comes.

You see? I would so much rather he had a gun. I would feel way safer. We watched other videos from this guy, and they're like all this bad. Wait, wait, wait. No, no, no. Let's watch him eat it. Motherfucker.

Oh, he had all of it. Success. Success. Incredible. Funky. Just absolutely disgusting. That's it. Success. Success. Incredible. Funky. Just absolutely disgusting. That's foul. That's foul.

This is like a lesson in self-actualization because we watch like that one guy be like, I don't know if my cheese is good. And then this guy is like, I made cheese out of dookie. And then he'd sit and be like, whoa. It's like he could have created an explosive on the plane. I know. Cutting up shrimp with a box cutter on a plane.

Well, I think that and, well, okay, I am curious. As far as, now this is actually a real crime situation. The diet soda that actually contains full sugar. Where are we on that spectrum? What do you mean? That's bad. Do we have a case? Oh, like suing them?

I don't... Yeah, like a class action. Yeah, why not? It definitely went that. Yeah. What about if it's just me and I represent myself? Sure.

I found sugar in it. I'm sure there is a class action, though, for it, like genuinely. Why not? One of these. Rubbing it in front of the judges. Your honor. Check this shit

oh it's not sticky you're under there sticky from something else but it is if they weren't it wouldn't be all right well that was something thanks again to thanks again to Ola and Lola for joining us

you can catch them on the well where can we catch you i guess on our joint podcast please wait hold on look at the shrimp again please watch the shrimp yes please check out our podcast lola and ole we drop new episodes every saturday at one o'clock eastern time yes and you should subscribe to my YouTube channel, Allure and Adi, where we do lots of things. Her channel is really good. Thank you. It's really good. We end every episode of Sad Boys with a particular

phrase. We love you. And we're sorry. So far off. We are. And they handed me a balloon and it was just an elongated balloon. Like, you just blew up a balloon. I said, it looks elongated balloon. Like you just blew up balloon. I said, it looks like a balloon. He said, nah, man, your boy over there said it's a butterfly.

I said a butterfly? He said, I said, is this an elongated balloon? He said, you gotta wait. It's in a cocoon, damn it. That's fun. That's a joke. That's a fun clown. Going to, you're an adult.

You go to a, essentially a birthday clown at this club. You get a balloon animal you're dissatisfied with and you go to the promoter. Sir. Excuse me. I asked for a butterfly. It's nothing. I think you'll like it.

Already. It's a weird club because there's a clown there. Why?