Sad Boyz - Hating Women With Math

Episode Date: January 20, 2024

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Welcome to Sandboys. I'm a big baby. I'm Jarvis. I'm crying. Wah, wah, wah. I poo-pooed. Do-do-poo-poo. Welcome to Sandboys. A podcast about feelings and other things also. I'm a little baby. Oh no. I poo-poo-poo-do-poo. I can't wait to see the audio audio listeners interpretation of what that was. Yeah. That was Jarvis. of what that was yeah that was

jervis yeah it was me i was tapping into the fourth dimension uh what's up up front i want to give an official apology i saw somebody call it out in the comments of the last video and i unfortunately the howdy intro has gone the way of the dodo it's a it's a seasonal thing i think that's right when the summer returns um it's a buildup to live shows. Next time we do a live show, you'll see it spinning up. You've got to come up with a new thing. What's, well, I was about to say what's like an archetypally kind of gray, slightly colder place, and it's England. Oh, yeah.

Or the Midwest. What are they? Oh, wow. Hey. There we go. And I'm Jordan. Okay. Oh, I'm in a good mood.? Oh, wow. Hey. There we go. And I'm Jordan. Okay. Oh, I'm in a good mood.

Minnesota nice, I heard about. And it's when you want to kill someone, but you're like, you shake my hand, bud. What? I was with you for a second. Hey, the part I'm the most prolific serial killer in all of Fargo. Oh, I see. That's the thing. I haven't seen that.

Gotta get you. He's an original character that I'm submitting for the next season. Oh, I see. I see. thing. I haven't seen that. Gotta get you. He's an original character that I'm submitting for the next season. Oh, I see. He's called the Handshake Killer. This is your reel. Your reel for Fargo. Yeah. He doesn't kill, but he's thinking about it.

Oh, I'm thinking about it. Oh, to top of the board. What's going on, laddies? I'm going to take your life. Oh, I'm thinking about it. Oh, check out my coffee brand. Oh, I was thinking about that street interview guy I talked about where

he ended up interviewing that Irish woman and she goes, oh, that's too dark for me. Too dark. Oh, no, she goes, I love dark chocolate. I love dark chocolate. What about like 80%?

Oh, that's too dark for me.'s i simply couldn't the heart of darkness it's fine joseph uh who wrote heart of darkness joseph not joseph campbell uh joseph let's see what i get it before jacob he's typing it in conrad conrad's well great job on his day i didn't even know what it was unlike us i said you did uh because you're a big fucking con all right and you're not rad anastasia's here hi i have a mic i forgot to use it it's okay she's learning all right you're like one of the guests anastasia is currently a small bean that she will grow into a full human being with a camera one day, maybe.

I'm just a little bean. Speaking of little beans that grow up one day, without spoilers, I saw The Boy and the Heron recently, and it's good. It's Pogno? Yeah. I really enjoyed it. I don't want to give any spoilers because I want people to go into it without knowing anything. Did you see it at the movies?

I did see it at the movies. I saw it at, there was like a little event that was put on. Because it's like running out of theaters. The theaters are running out of the movie. We are running out of theaters. It's like going to be out of theaters soon. So I wanted to get a chance to see it. Saw it subbed i recommend it i did hear though that robert pattinson uh a good friend of ours

who i don't know if they're comfortable with me naming them but they said that uh robert pattinson put his whole robert to see into this performance so i i guess i'll have to i guess i'll have to go um see that at some point i'll see it again i heard a story about robert pettinson's performance where um they didn't tell him in advance that they wanted him to do an american accent and they just forgot he was british oh that's very funny that's his curse And so he showed up to record and they're like, okay, so if you can do an American accent. And he was like, oh, it takes me like a month to prepare my American accent. And they're like, okay, well, what do you just have in your back pocket? And he's like, Brooklyn.

Oh, hell yeah. He's like, I'm walking in. Oh, a cartoon. Hey hey am i a heron 1940s and i'm in tokyo over here look jordan hasn't seen the freaking movie maybe he's a heron maybe he's not i don't know why i'm supposed to know everything i'm a child that i'm about to go on a mystical adventure over here i'm being dropped into a city it's good go see it yes jordan yes go see the boy in the heron um i i have avoided like everything about yeah i think that's good it um i truly if i were to give any more reasons as to why that's good i think it would be a spoiler but um you know miyazaki's done it again how you

doing dude what's up i'm doing good mr movies seeing a movie i'm mr movies i'm going to see movies i'm tired all the time and i spend so much time in bed and i really wish i wasn't fatigued but i'm trying my best i'm trying to see more movies i'm trying to i'm trying my best over here uh tm uh available now at jarvis.shop but i do mean that i am trying my best january 6th jarvis.store actually let the record show i didn't miss say my url but um yeah in general i'm good and in lieutenant i'm bad no sorry i can't say my adhd is attacking today it's in full boil like the military um but uh i'm all right he's crying I've been better

I just remembered about famine I just remembered about the bad stuff gun I just heard about I just watched Oppenheimer also and I was like what why did he do that what are you doing did you see that

Oppenheimer yeah I didn't see either one of the barbenheimers oh it was not against seeing either of them i just am barely on my movie grind they were coming out at a very particularly high depression point i was waking up yeah kind of too late for even movie theaters like to get there in time but they uh i i don't know if i have a the stamina for another nolan movie for a while that's fair a little much they'll play like they feel like music videos to me because the noise just never stopped it's like scored all the way through yeah and barbie i feels like such an event movie i'd like to see it with people yeah well um i'm happy to host a little

uh i would host a you know what i bet people are gonna have barbenheimer parties after the movies go to like video on demand and so maybe i'll have a barbenheimer party and you can just show up for the barbie part oh my god this guy's watching movies for girls yeah that i haven't seen that i have seen i have seen it to be clear and by a process of uh that kind of like osmosis i have also seen it don't get mad i see and if either of us like a k-pop song or a tail swift song the other one does as well yeah we like all the things that you like and we don't like any of the things you don't like and we agree with you about that we hate comments we stand the one that you stand as well my bias is

oh my god i stand them too let's say it at the same time me too same you couldn't hear it because of the mic was far away yeah it was the same and anastasia say it into the mic whoa that one's really bad didn't you hear about what they did oh no they got canceled actually open hiber um latest what's what's cracking so we've been we've chatted less than usual this last week chatless mood what uh uh you you were you were a sleepy boy we had a one-on-one and you were like i'm gonna be in dream town i've become the sleep bag i will say mr sandman uh yeah mr you're always kind of in a little sleepy i had to to make you take off your cosmic space hat.

Sure, yeah. With Zs that were floating above your head. Well, I woke up the moment you took away the feather that was floating above my lips as I went. Me, me, me, me, me, me. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, you were honk-shoeing. I do all of them, yeah. Yeah.

Honk-sh-me-me-mo-mo. Honk-sh-me-me-zee-zee. I have something to show you regarding being the sleep bastard. I have been... I turned into Scooby-Doo, but I'm surprised when I'm a bastard. Yeah. I have a sleep tracker that I'm pretty happy with. It works just really well as a good alarm.

It does like a slow wake up over 30 minutes type thing. Right. But by consequence of using that on and off for a couple of years, I years i finally have you know the status dot and make sense the average score i had for sleep the average hours were like three and a half to four and then the time in bed was like six you know yeah oh my time in bed so long the quality was 61 average this is the sleep bastards behavior last night oh oh wow 7 15 sleep nine hours in bed 98 quality that's amazing i did listen back to one of the audio recording segments and i say something along the lines of swinin, and there it is. And I still have no idea. I don't know why it bothers tracking them.

They're nonsense. That's for you. Yeah, that's you processing some stuff. You can mark your favorites, which is very funny. You're doing commentary for like a golf tournament in your dreams. Swin, and there it is. Commentary and I don't know anything about golf?

Yeah. Another ball. That'll move the chain mr green okay what is that i'm learning it's a club how are you though how how is how are you being the bastard of mr sandman mr sandman best asleep um good it feels nice to be so last night um me and kat Katie had been out playing Pokego. I play Pokemon. We play Pokemon Go. I don't know if we've discussed this.

No, no. I don't think we've talked about it. I'm not a loser though. I don't watch movies. Not even a single time we've mentioned it. I don't watch movies for girls. The general motif that we do a little later in the day, talk ourselves out. Katie went home, took the dog, who I am now dog sitting for the next week.

Granted, Fox is at my house with a bit anyway so she'll be with jordan fox time but she'll um hey maybe maybe she'll be sleeping on a pillow not always in the crate i don't know maybe we get a little cheeky i don't know because that way she won't bark in the night for the uh don't tell don't tell the old ball and chain. But I, last night I did something I've never, ever done before, which was I was really sleepy right before Katie went home, kind of half napping. We get up, go to a car, Katie turns off. I go, goodbye, old ball and chain. Thank goodness.

Time to game out. True, true. I went home and I realized like no part of me, not a single part of me wanted to sit down and play a game no part of me wanted to watch something no part of me wanted to eat anymore like there was actually nothing i wanted to do other than sleep and instead of my instinct being how can i get to a place where i don't want to sleep it's like 8 30 p.m i just went i'm just going to go to bed yeah i've it is telling me that i think my instinct for so long especially when i was away everyone i know is eight hours behind i was like

i'll just figure out a way to stay up so maybe i can play a game or chat somebody at their lunch time or something right and i just i was like all i want to do is sleep what is this part of me that doesn't want to do that pop my little sleepy mad became something of the sleep bastard yeah you became the king of sleep you said you said swoosh there it is and there's a hit of the ball very nice there it is and what is that i'm being told that is the ball okay good i would love to watch basketball commentated with like golf type things. Same whisper. And they're making it down the stretch. He hard and passes the ball to George.

George does a step back and he shoots the three ball. It doesn't go in the big circle. So to my understanding, that is. It's a shot clock violation. He did not hit the rim. Okay. I'm going to head home. Game's a little too loud for me. Yeah right sounds good i'm tired i don't watch girl movies we've been asking the crowd they're doing a silent disco they've all got headphones on and they're just doing this

they're having a lot of fun we're playing classical music anyway i've been told i'm watching a youtube video of a basketball game i'm at home by myself and i'm not at a game at all this is a dream and then i wake up there it is uh yeah no it's okay that made me feel very proud yeah because that's the new year's resolution no i love that no i'm i genuinely like um uh every time you know like if i am a like a final fantasy 7 boss or something like that every time you use uh uh um well insomnia does kind of sound like a final fantasy 7 attack i was i was gonna translate it into one um you like or something or whatever but every time you whip open your

grimoire and cast insomnia yeah but insomnia already sounds like one every time you cast insomnia and you're like yeah i i didn't sleep i get like a little bit of chip damage i know yeah yeah i'm like oh not dead yet oh not a oh man and a quick healing spell of hey actually slept nine hours last night. Yeah. Yeah. So that's actually refueling me. I'm getting healed. It doesn't do anything for you defeating me, but I like to think as a boss, maybe we could live in harmony. We can kind of subvert the expectation that you're supposed to destroy the boss.

Yeah. So you're not really a boss, so it's just a guy I know. That's true. But I do like to think of everybody does have a health bar. Yeah, I suppose you're not really a boss so much. You're just a guy I know. That's true. I'm attacking a tiny bit. But I do like to think of everybody. Everybody does have a health bar if you think about it. Yeah, you're an ally. I'm sapping your life and I'm not gaining anything

by just not sleeping. I don't know. It's the tiny... Like, I did also a tiny little workout yesterday and I'm a little sore because I had, like, bad form, what I was doing. I was an apy guy. I was actually the best at sleep sleep and i woke up just feeling a little sore and instead of going like oh my leg i said i went like yeah my leg actually felt very good so that's progress that's

fun how about you um what's your new year's resolution oh fucking it's fucking he fucking survived double double the head double the breath my new year's resolution is to make it through is to get to 2025 yeah um that's the next one okay sure all right damn all right cool um you'll never find out one thing i wanted to talk about uh is well okay well one um we talked in the last episode about how like, I said that one of my biggest creative goals for this podcast would be to have like a wiki page, like a wiki for Sad Boys. And a couple of people have created a Sad Boys fandom wiki. And I want to, this is a PSA, if you want to productively contribute to sad boys fandom wiki i don't even know what's there i was thinking we could like take a little peek and and check it

out and you are all welcome as as loyal fans know you are welcome to include in my extended bio that my dream is to die in a duel okay very nice episodes okay sad dash boys dash podcast.f nice. Episodes. Okay. Sad-boys-podcast.fandom.com. Wow. Just check out 2019. Whoa, look at A. What happened there? Boom. I have some theories.

I have some theories. And then we started with the episode, Hey. That's fun. Podemic. Papa John's trash. Gosh, it's funny how these have to be prompted there's no way i would remember any of these names short of surviving a bear attack what uh uh these currently are just like lists right there's nothing there's no like links okay cool and then oh And then, oh, look at 20, oh, look at 2023. Whoa, we made so many episodes.

Destroys the previous year. Yeah. And this year only two, come on. The, what's gonna be interesting is sometimes we fiddle with the titles for like algorithm purposes. So good luck. But we will start,

I think we will start numbering them soon. So it'll be a little bit easier to keep tabs on things. And then, oh, that's cool. There's like a little thing of the Sad Boys Nights, shameless promotion for just $5. You can get access to all of these episodes. Yes, sir. And I forgot about our and uh i forgot about

our off our off i forgot about our ai girlfriend tasha that was a fun episode i forgot about our episode with eddie at the top did you see the title of that what is it oh there are two n words yeah that was that was very funny um so uh yeah so there's a bunch of patreon content and there's also our live show there's some there's episode zero there's a bunch of Patreon content. And there's also our live show. There's episode zero. There's some stuff for higher tiers as well, just like some extra, extra stuff. We're actually recording some more stuff soon for that. But yeah, thanks to the, I believe it's two editors right now, but get in there, get in there and do make stuff what i would love to hear about like lore and ongoing jokes and stuff like that so that we can even keep track of it because there's so much

stuff that like we just can you do know better than we do yeah you know better than we do because people will come up to us and like reference things and we'll go huh what now was it there was one level at surfer or something oh ted nerfer nervous surfer now that that one's been brought back i do remember it but somebody will like tag us in some pan out and say like scrimble on the 19 huh yeah and i'll be like for for certain my friend as many times as it takes yes delete the wiki delete the show uh uh we i still yeah little things like that do still give me a little emotional boost the other was the art that the very accurate interpretations of jacob that

we've been receiving oh right because we described jacob as a uh uh a screen and like a tendril beast with cameras yeah an eldritch cyberpunk horror and like so far there's been three fan arts and they are close like given the fact that given the fact that we did not show a picture of what we're looking at i recognize it like it almost looks like an artistic rendering of of what we actually do so like we witnessed a crime like um male perfectly rectangular yeah you're talking to like an AI. Cameras, I guess. Thank you for being sweet.

This is a little reward. Oh. I can see my wrists. Oh, look at that. The one thing that I fell asleep watching last night, and I knew what i was getting myself into i i started watching are you familiar with billy mitchell uh his notoriously infamously

okay so for those who are not familiar with billy mitchell billy mitchell is a um hack so he was featured he he is most he's best known for playing the game donkey kong for the arcade cabinet um and uh they're probably thinking that that must be just regular and normal and true because who would care if you like so okay so there's this documentary called king of kong that came out a long time ago at this point and it's very good uh kind of before speed running was made yeah yeah it's good from a narrative standpoint but like there's this guy steve weeby who's like trying to like beat the donkey kong world record for like high score and then there's like this guy uh billy mitchell who was like kind of like the villain of the the thing and throughout the documentary he's talking about um how you know your your skill as a gamer is like how how well you can perform under like

high pressure situations in front of an audience and to really test your metal and show that you're the best while ducking and diving away from Steve Weeby's abilities to play with him. Like, so in that documentary, we never see Billy Mitchell play the game a single time. He kind of honestly plays the way that Cat Williams is talking about everybody else in Hollywood. They won't be in the same building as me.

Kevin Hart ducks me every time he sees me. In case people need a visual for Billy Mitchell, he looks like. God, my ADHD brain is taking me to, there's a clip. There's this NBA player for the Minnesota Timberwolves named Carl Anthony Towns. And there is a um towns like a place towns like a place he he did a he did a foul a while back and i don't know if you've seen this there's a referee so like when a player commits a foul the referee goes to the um scorers table or whatever he goes to the camera and he like describes what's happening and then

they go back the referees talk and then they report to the public like what they've decided and um the guy like carl anthony towns is known as cat um because k-a-t right carl anthony towns and so he goes um the guy goes um the foul was on Cat Williams. It just took over. He like accidentally says Cat instead of Carl Anthony Towns. And then his auto-complete goes and he just goes, Cat Williams. And then he just like

Cat can't be long enough. He goes, one free throw and then he just walks away like nothing happened. Maybe Jacob you could pull that up while I continue describing this other thing so would you say for a visual billy mitchell looks like if matt mercer was corrupted by necromancer holy there's nothing wrong it looks like if matt mercer was uh bald and to comp and to compensate for it he he found a life-size lego piece of a hair to like attach to his head because billy mitchell's hair okay jacob can you pull up billy mitchell's hair

billy mitchell's hair safe search um looks like it's in motion god damn looks like it moves as one piece. Oh my Lord. Look at that fourth one. Good Lord. Anastasia, look at this. Oh, you see it?

Okay, good. He's a little smile today. I wouldn't hair shame anyone, but this guy, he's like super litigious and he like sues a lot of people who like talk bad about him and stuff. So, hey, maybe he'll do that to us. What's going on with this American, oh Jesus. like sues a lot of people who like talk bad about him and stuff so hey maybe he'll do that to us but uh jesus but uh this is i'm just uh poking fun at him i'm not saying these things are true

anyway uh so he's like purported as like the he's kind of like the villain of king of kong and because steve weeby he like goes and he gets this really high score in donkey kong and then right as he does that billy mitchell releases like a vhs tape of him getting a higher score but it's like him playing it on his couch not doing it in like a high stakes environment and it's like not like verifiable or it's like for the for the longest time it's been been verified as real, but people, I think even as early back then, but especially now, have alleged that all of it was fake. And he played the game on an emulator, which you can't do for this type of, to be considered in the same thing as, you just can't compare an emulator run or not. But then on top of that, they assume that um sort of cheating happened and there's a lawsuit there's actually a number of lawsuits about this and like carl jobs has made a bunch

of videos about it and that's mainly how i've been like following it but um he is like the biographer he's yeah and then like there's a case on his wall like with a bunch of photos yeah i gotta crack this and then billy mitchell is suing him currently and so that's still ongoing very normal uh super super litigious and and there's just like so many like videos of him being like caught in like apparent lies i don't want i want to be very careful with my language here uh but like billy billy to be clear this it doesn't benefit you to go after us no it's this is fine doing a thing would be way worse but the um but there is a uh four hour video that explains in gratuitous detail how billy mitchell uh billy mitchell's runs cannot be possible oh okay uh and one of the basic things is like you can tell that his runs are on mame run on the emulator

the arcade emulator because of like how they draw how they draw the levels is is like there's like a bug in mame uh at the time that billy mitchell did this where they like drew they like sort of the scan line went the wrong way and so they draw the levels differently than how they oh okay but the draw distance is busted they draw it from the side instead of drawing it from the top because like if you like uh when i was in college uh i like learned how to like program like game boy games and like learn how like a game boy like works and so it's very you were a game boy i was a little bit of a game boy myself and so like you basically have a scan line and then you have like a video buffer

and you're like kind of taking the stuff that's in the video buffer and like printing it on the screen. But like you have this like sort of line that's going sort of down. And then that line has to get from top to bottom within the refresh rate of the screen in order for the picture to not be broken up.

Because if it was slower, then you would see like a half picture when like the like screen tearing yeah yeah so it's like um so anyway uh basically the actual arcade cabinet goes from top to bottom but i think this version of maim uh was going from like like left to right or something so if you slow down the footage you can see how it draws the uh so it's allegedly fake. It's like, even from that. And then like, there's a... Anyway, I'm getting into the thing. But there's...

I believe that video, the four hour video is by... Like probably Veritas is the name of the channel. Let me see. Veritas, yeah. I was like, it's like Latin and means truth. So that's Veritas, right? I was like, it's like Latin and means truth. So I was like, that's Veritas, right? Okay. Anyway.

It's bad. Anyway, so that's a video. And then Carl Jobs has a bunch of videos. But like this lawsuit settled yesterday. And then Billy Mitchell went out and claimed that it like absolved him of cheating. And then everyone else was like no it doesn't um and like one of the settlement things was that they have to put up like a way back machine-esque like version of the the score archive on um uh uh what is it called the um

oh my god it's two words and it's not it's not twisted realms it's uh it's not uh what's the what's the function of the um the who the lawsuit was with oh okay um twin galaxies i was like twisted realms twisted sister yeah yeah twin galaxies so like so twin galaxies like like, their actual leaderboard. And they have, like, an archive leaderboard that, like, because they had taken Billy Mitchell's scores down because they were, like, proved to be fake, allegedly. They allegedly believed them to be fake. And it's their website. Yeah.

And so, like, now there's, like, a way, basically, like, there's a Billy Mitchell view where you can, like, see Billy Mitchell's scores still up there. And that was for him, like, I was right. I didn't cheat at all and then everyone's like no you did um ah but the guy is just like so incredulous and so like um i don't even know how to describe it i think i've done a really poor job of this but like there's just so many deposition videos of him like lying like there's so many like provably like uh one would assume that it's he's false not telling the truth allegedly lying in a kind of don't talk to us way in go away way um but anyway uh it's it's a it's a crazy story so i recommend if you're like interested in the tea and you're you're nosy and messy like myself, you can watch Carl Jopp's videos or the...

He is a very funny presence. Like his presentation is... It's so strange. It's almost like he's led for lying about all of this. I suspect he may be lying about being a human being. Because he's like a... If you said like, do you know that Billy Mitchell is an android?

Wow, they are so close to being ready like almost they're like almost there wow in the 80s that's really impressive um all right let's watch this uh carl anthony towns clip so it's the kick as the shot goes up that one right there upon review the offensive filer says cat williams has been determined oh yeah he's just typed cat williams too much before williams did you ever have that way you type like you've sent let's fucking go a bunch and so lfg comes up instead of usa i sent somebody i miss you i am y the other day and it autocorrected to oh my god that's how i was like oh that is not what i meant at all yeah that's like that uh that I miss you. I am why the other day and it autocorrected to oh my god

Oh, that is not what I meant at all. Yeah, that's like that a that meme of like hey grandpa just passed and they send the shock This is just a silly thing. I have to go take a layer off because I'm so hot. Oh, okay. I wore underlayer thermals. Yeah, I did. I am going to make it a little bit cooler in here by getting Jordan out of here, if you know what I'm saying. It's such a weird thing for Billy Mitchell to say. I want to conquer the Donkey Kong world.

I know. It's sad because it's like you could have a full life outside of this, but you can't give it up. And it's so weird because there's even alleges. Just say that from time to time there's even allegations that um that there are certain awards that he claims to have been given like best video game player in the universe and shit like that or best video game player in the world and uh and those awards like don't exist or like or like the governing bodies that allegedly gave him these awards like have

denied giving given the the awards and then he's like had new versions of the awards made that are like kind of fake and there's all these weird accomplices and it's just like this whole big thing for what reason for what purpose it kind of reminds me of um that guy keith ranieri who started the cult um nexium oh and he'd be like i'm a world like renowned piano player i am the smartest man in the world and i'm a judo champion it's like why did you add judo champion so factually provable like one of the billy mitchell things is like in one of the depositions uh there's this argument about what color the joystick was and it's like an official donkey kong machine has a black joystick and and he's like that he gets asked like what color is the joystick and he's like well a donkey kong joystick is black i wouldn't

have played on a joy i like i've never played on a non-black Donkey Kong like joystick machine or whatever and all of it's leading him to the fact that there's this photo of him playing on one that's not black and so he's just like or or there's even a um some like video game archive board or company where he's like on the board of trustees but then says that he was never involved with the company and then there's like actual documents that have his name on him that he's involved with the company it's like just all of this stuff is provable why are you it's such an unsustainable way to lie it's like the grown-up legal version of when someone's like hey what have you played mario and as a little kid

you're like my dad made it yeah i plan i know everything about it oh nepic but also billy mitchell is right and he's been right the whole time and please don't sue me i was just thinking about best donkey kong player ever to exist in the world oh i was just thinking about that would be so sick and if and if he wants us to take this down, then I mean, he wouldn't be the best Donkey Kong player in the world. Cause I'm right now I'm saying that he's the best to ever do it.

Why would he feel threatened when the thing is true? He's the best to ever do it. And he never told a lie. Like Abraham Lincoln and George Washington, which one of those guys never told a lie? I hear you're doing the best. I heard he's Donkey Kong's brother. He's Donkey Kong's brother.

He's Mario also. His uncle's dad's best friend's dog. His's Donkey Kong's brother. He's Mario also. His uncle's dad's best friend's dog. His dad is, yeah, he was heavily involved in the production of Manio, was it? Manrio? Yeah, dude. The Mario siblings. Mario, the Memorio. Sorry, so speaking of NBA, Anastasia here is our resident NBA expert, and she has prepared

a game for us. I don't know if I believe him. Okay. Coming. Yeah, I take the seat off. Okay. So you guys, well, Jarvis

and I have done this. Just the two of us. We can make it if we try. Where we're just hanging out and Jarvis is like, I want to name two players on every team. And I'm like, go. Well, I'm trying to learn.

I'm like fully, this is like how I am with everything I get into. This is like why I know so much about Pokemon Go. It's because I just like, just I go sponge mode with my ADHD hyper focus. And so currently my ADHD hyper focus is the NBA. And I was like so impressed

because there are people that I know who are diehard basketball fans who can't name players on every team. There's a lot of teams. Some teams you just don't watch. For some reason reason you're watching two of the teams that no one ever watches like the pistons um that's true so there's quiz

shout out to uh my friend kofi or our friend kofi you know my kofi uh who's a pistons fan and just because of him i'm now like involved i'm involved with the pistons personally you're intimately involved with the pistons the friendship's finally paying off. So Jarvis was like, what if we made a game? And I was like, hell yes, I will make a game. And I wanted, Jordan, you're also getting into NBA. I'm working on it. And working on it.

So I wanted to include you in this. I put questions specifically for you guys. So I call this basketball game, AKA not the game of basketball. Because people might get confused. Sure. Can we, at some point we will do a basketball game called gaming, specifically basketball to be clear.

Yes. Yeah, we'll clear off the couch. We'll play a game of three on three. Come back. Or two on two. I guess there's four of us. How will we play three on three? Jacob's Android body floating. We'll play three on three but the i get to bring shack

and i play it in a truck um okay so the first question is for jarvis uh what's this man's name and which team does he play for look i'm I'm starting easy. Yeah, we got to start easy. We got to start easy. And don't ask me numbers of players, though, because I want no numbers. That's okay. But this is Nikola Jokic. He plays for the Denver Nuggets.

Okay. Is he Jokic? That was what I knew. No. That was the only one. Okay. I like the white ones. There's a bonus question for Jarvis.

Okay, what's his favorite animal? Okay, well, my assumption is horse, because he lovesvis. Okay, what's his favorite animal? Okay, well, my assumption is horse because he loves horses. Okay. Yay! What's his name? Don't look at the sign that says it. Outrider! Oh, come on. So, Outrider! Dude, why is he attached with those

chains? It has on, looks like a ghost. It looks like Mewtwo. They're like trying to keep his power contained for so uh he is serbian nicola jokic and he and the horse trains um i don't know what they're called carriage horses i think at carriage racing you can just google nicola jokic horse and there's so many good photos of him riding in the back of a carriage. They're riding him. Wait, literally carriage racing?

That sounds... Yeah, like when the jockey's in the back in a carriage, not on top of the horse. Because he's so big. Well, he's not the jockey. No, but that's why he's got to be in the carriage. He's living vicariously through his tiny boys. Vicariously. But the funniest thing is at the end of like the nuggets won the championship last year and he was pissed at the end uh like after the the nuggets won the championship they were like well there's

gonna be a parade and he was like no i gotta get home he goes what day is parade and they're like thursday he's like ah uh out the rider because don't do it he's like i have to go home i want to go home but then he then came back because people criticize him for that. But he was like, you know, I saw all the people who, you know, were so happy that we won. And then he went to the parade. He was like super happy at the parade. And then he went back to Serbia and didn't touch a basketball for the whole summer. And then started playing out of his mind when he came back to the league.

Everybody's like, what do you mean you didn't touch a basketball all summer? He didn't seem in attention. No, I touch horse. I hold on to horse. Horse is came back to the league. Everybody's like, what do you mean you didn't touch a basketball all summer? He's like, no, I touch horse. I hold on to horse. Horse is the basketball of the summer. I can palm horses back. Three pointer with horse through to finish line. Okay, next question is for Jordan. Are you ready, Jordan?

Oh, yeah. What's the horse name? What is this object? All right. Now, are we talking about the floor? No. Okay, all right. What is this object? All right. Now the, we're talking about the floor? No. Okay.

All right. So there's a. I mean, bonus, what's the floor called? To describe it to the listeners, it's a floor and there's a golf ball in it. So I'm going to. It is orange with little stripes. I think it's a visibility thing because of the green grass that you'll see a lot on a golf pitch. I'm going to have to go. I don't know.

I want to be silly, right? It's a fun joke. It's a basketball. Ball for the basketball. Great. Good job. Dub? One point.

One point? Well, yeah. You'll get more, I'm sure. Come on. Do it. Oh, I bet 2,000 points that it's a basketball. You don't get to create points out of nothing okay next question uh jarvis which two players recently got traded from the pistons

to the wizards okay so uh i know isaiah livers is one of them and the other i I think, is Marvin Bagley III. Okay, let's see. Isaiah Livers and Marvin Bagley. Of course. And what are they? Oh, they're golfers. They go whoosh. There it is. Marvin Bagley, who is someone who I, he was a first round, he was a number one overall draft pick.

And he's seen as a bust. Or maybe he was number two or something. But he was. He was high up in the draft. He was high up in the draft. And then like currently seen as a bust. And in fact, a lot of the Wizards, sorry, not Wizards. A lot of the Pistons players are people like James Wiseman,

who like was a number two pick for the Warriors. But then like didn't pan out and so then like it's a lot of it's like this proving ground for a lot of these people who like are still yeah the Pistons are another life yeah they're all young boys who really you know what I kind of hate that aspect of the nba and sports in general being like you were a number one draft pick and you didn't pan out it's like yeah it's like they're like 19 year olds they're children 23 or whatever like chill and also maybe they just didn't have the right coach developing them right yeah because i feel like so many times it's opportunistic yeah like the rankings for basketball would be in exact order of when they got drafted. Like Steph Curry, when he went to Davidson, had a coach that, first of all, like no D1 school,

like no traditional like big basketball school like wanted to take him. Because he's too small. Davidson's D1, but it's a, what is it called? It's a, it's a, it's D1, but it's a, well, it's like a small school, but I can't remember the term. I don't follow college, so I don't know. Well, there's a term for the type of school it is that is escaping me. But anyway, it's a smaller, like lesser known school. Yeah.

And, but he had a coach that believed in him and kind of built an offense around him and i feel like if he wasn't able to shine in that way you know who's to say if he would have been able to like sort of propel into you know what he became plus he was he was in the first round but i think he was like sixth or something in the draft so yeah it's not even like people were that pumped on him it wasn't like a first round and then look look what he became. I have to admit. Or like a number one overall. I have to admit, when I looked at that graphic that we have up,

it includes two players for each section, right? I was under the impression, I sincerely thought the one for the Pistons featured him, Gallinari, and then his nickname,

Mike Muscular. So if you had asked me this in reverse, I wouldn't have known cause I've heard the names Danilo Gallinari and Mike Muscala, but I do not know anything about their game. Mike Muscular. Danilo was on the Clippers for a while.

So I kind of watched him when he was on the Clippers. Also there were rumors that one of the Kardashians was like, Hey, let's go on a date and he was like no i'm good i'm playing basketball um but it's this is funny to me because these are teams that like no one watches and people talk very poorly about yeah but jarvis seems to know something about the same thing no one watches people talk poorly about you. The reason I started watching the Detroit Pistons is because they tied the record for the longest single season losing streak in basketball.

And so then it became this thing of like, every game of theirs was like a game seven where you'd be like, will this be the one? And they had a game where the number one sort of ranked team in the in the league right now the boston celtics they were up on the celtics by 20 at halftime and then somehow choked that game guys you're ruining the streak stop playing like that so crazy but boston would have never heard the end of it if they somehow right they're the ones that got sponsored by wingstop right

um the pistons yeah the pistons have the wingstop a couple teams do but the pistons have sponsorship the pistons have the wing stop a couple teams do but the pistons like like the wing stop near here has like lakers paraphernalia on it um right let's go to the next question for jordan is it a basketball who is this man on the shoes hint his name is also what we call the shoes he's a bit small he's not a bad he's a tiny man he's does he currently play basketball the tiny guy on the not the guy that the shoe is based on the guy no the tiny guy yeah he played he hoops okay right and he's on all the shoes actually he's not i don't think okay so it's not michael jordan he is on every shoe is he on every shoe yeah he says swoosh that's he's called the jordan swoosh just get it uh just get let's get

it let's get it nike let's get it oh that's gonna have to be a child-sized michael jordan yeah kind of sperm size before he was ever fully conceived. That's what his sperm looks like. I have a bonus question for you, Jordan. Do you know what the logo is called? The logo mark for Jordan? Of course. Like when you see that icon, that icon has a name. Yeah.

I know. Okay. What's the, uh, Jordan's third question? Yeah, it is actually the Jarvis third question yeah it is actually Jarvis's third question I know what it is yeah I guess it's pretty straight forward actually

I gotta say I know the silhouette's supposed to be him it's like it's one of those optical illusions where it's like is this a vase or two old people kissing I know he's jumping forward it looks like he's just doing the splits to the camera yeah this is actually from when he was on that broadway show stomp oh that makes sense yeah right when he was part of the blue man group yeah um okay next question jarvis question three what's the name of the youngest player currently in the nba who recently was so excited to talk to Shaq?

This is a harder one. This one's sad because it was a loss for the Warriors. And I am a Warriors fan. But it was Gigi Jackson of the Memphis Grizzlies. Yep. But this is a very cute clip. If you click on it, we can actually watch. This is adorable.

It's such a cute clip. Yeah, he's like 19 in some days. Gigi Shaq here. I don't have any questions. I just want to say congratulations, young fella. You played a hell of a game. And the people that know who you were, they know who you are now. I'm so proud of you.

I appreciate you. Congratulations on being ready, brother. It's an honor to get to hear your voice. Appreciate you. Isn't he so cute? That's so sweet. That's so sweet. I just want to say,

Javis is going to know who you are. Can you imagine? I mean, it's just very exciting. I'm sorry my chicken restaurant is not good anymore. It was pretty good at the start, but now I kind of have checked out of it. I have too many obligations.

Hey, what's going on, everybody? It's Critical. I just want to say you did play really good at basketball today. Hey guys, it's the big guy, Shaq, Shaquille O'Neal. Charlie O'Neal. Charlie O'Neal. I stand at eight feet tall.

Oh, that's Gigi Jackson, by the way. Oh, okay, yeah. Okay, next question is for Jordan. Yes, okay. Name the shoe man's friends. The shoe man. You can't give it away just in case you got it wrong. Just in case.

The shoe man. All right. Okay. A lot of Gigi Jackson wears shoes. I'm almost going to. You can't assume. Didn't see his legs in the clip. Shaq does not have legs.

It's shown every time he's on screen these days. Okay. That is... I would describe it more as... From Space Jam, I would describe it as Bill Murray's friend. Him and this character and the Jumpman himself, Mike... You call him Mike Mike.

Mr. Jordan. Mikey Mike. You call him Mike Mike. And the Funky Munch. I don't think they connect on that intimate level. And he did make him drink a drink called his special, his super juice, his special. Yes, special sauce.

Mikey's special sauce. That's true. Which I think is a betrayal of sorts. So I'm going to have to go with Bill Murray's friend, Bugs Middle Name Bunny. I think he does have one. It's like Richardson. Yeah, it's like Charles Entertainment Chief Okay bonus question for you here

Which game did he play With the shoe man in the film Space Jam Who was he playing against No which game did they play Oh the jam Welcome to the jam Is in the song They don't say welcome to the basketball

Come on and jam now Welcome to the jam is in the song they don't say welcome to the basketball they know that's what you want me to do come on and jam now it's time to play basketball everybody get up it's basketball time my name is the jump man ready to jump we have an image ready to jump into space oh Wow, what an unflattering image. All of the- He looks like he's 100 years old. All of the stills of Space Jam online, you're like, it doesn't look good. No, we really- It's a very- It's like it had to be in motion. Yeah, we've come so far. It is like, I do imagine that it was so hard

to do this back then. Like even the reflection of Marvin the Martian or whatever Oh, yeah, it's part of it is I mean part of it that I don't like and that was people always creep me out as a kid It is the weird like gradient shading on all the cartoon characters, but it is very impressive There's that meme of uh, it was like it's like wait, what was it? It was like the cartoon and like the cartoon movie. And it's like Homer Simpson with a little shading. Or like the close up on Ren and Stimpy. That's what it feels like.

If you search on Google, you'll see that there's pictures of Michael Jordan playing with guys in green suits for the movie. It's very funny. Is there a shot of him stretching his arm 30 feet to reach the basket? Oh, that rocks. Dude, this is like the horror cut. It is really weird and funny. That's actually scarier than the monsters. Yeah.

That genuinely is I was hoping the question was like, who were they playing against so I could see the monsters? They felt pretty good about myself. Now in the case of the. You're killing it so far. You might win this game. Yeah, pretty easy.

How many did Jarvis, how many did you miss? I mean, so far so good. Okay. Oh, wait, I bet all my points on the one. I'm actually impressed with both of you. You're both gotten everything right so far.

Who's more fun? So let's see Jarvis's next question i'm nervous what was the decision okay so this is when this is like uh i want to say it's 2010 and it's when lebron james uh leaves behind the team that drafted him his hometown team the cleveland cavaliers and goes on i don't know if it was TNT or what, but has a hour long TV special where he like hypes up what team he's gonna go to. And he ends up deciding the Miami Heat.

He's gonna take his talents to South Beach. And then he kind of became a villain to the NBA as a result, even though it was all for the boys and girls club of America. And like- even though it was all for the boys and girls club of the uh of america um is this what you showed me you showed me some images of uh they were his hometown is hating on him the that was his first game back in cleveland after the decision but uh where they had like it was like a horrible like everyone was like ridiculing him and they were like crazy signs and people were being mean people were like burning Cavs jerseys and stuff.

It's like, are you okay? Dude, that pones them. They bought it for money and then he can't wear it anymore. They burned it. It's like you're not hurting anyone but yourself because if you had saved that jersey 20 years from now, you know. I'm pouring out all my Bud Light. How do you like that lgbt what's up with that there's like that uh kid rock thing where um where he like like shot bud light

cans with a rifle and then like three months later he was like pictured at a football game drinking bud light and then got asked about it. He was like, let's move on, man. Leave me alone, man. So there's an image here of LeBron. If you click on it, it'll go right to the point where he says. Do you have any doubts about your decision? No, I don't have any doubts at all. Would you like to sleep on it a little longer? Are you ready to make this decision?

No, I've slept enough. This is like 20 minutes in. Or the lack of sleep. Yeah. You still a nail biter? Ah, I have a little bit. Not of late. Well, you've had everybody else biting their nails, so I guess it's time for them to stop chewing. This is on ESPN. The answer to the question everybody wants to know.

LeBron, what's your decision? Um, in this fall, man, this is very tough. In this fall, man, this is very tough. In this fall, I'm going to take my talents to South Beach and join the Miami Heat. Miami Heat. You can stop it. It's honestly the most boring thing to watch.

Yeah. And it was like an hour long. He's so much better on camera now. Yeah. What's going on with like i feel like it's pretty exclusively american media to frame and shoot that like who wants to be a millionaire like the slow zoom they did it like any if peter crouch had said something in the uk like in the 90s and they'd whip pan to him and be like what are you up to peter what are you doing then who

you playing for it would be weird like they would feel they would feel off. It would feel like a lie. Oh, look at him. His little shirt. Little baby LeBron. He looks like he's going to prom. Okay, next question for Jordan, I believe. Name one NBA or WNBA team in California. Extra half point if you can name all of them

just the California team what's that in the distance it's the half point going away goodbye see ya okay gotta throw in the Pistons as we've covered we were just

they're mostly they were all in California Detroit California okay so what Pistons were all in California Detroit, California Okay, so what? Pistons has never played in California? Got to say He names all 30 NBA teams I'll quickly call out that Jarvis didn't bet any points on that last question So he does not get

Am I supposed to be betting points? All of them at each time You have to wager You have to wager them every time Name one NBA or WNBA team in california lakers mode oh got them so one point uh warriors mode oh shadow heart the cleric that follows the way of shah no the first companion i made no that's a great team name, though.

Shadowheart. No, you're right. The Shadowheart. It's the second companion I made in-game. So some people can have it later because sometimes you don't save them. It's okay. Well, you got a point.

Because she's in the WNBA. Presumably. The Warriors not backing Asterion, which is a different character. How many other there's four NBA teams and one WNBA I said the Lakers and the Warriors yes yes you have two more in in California the Knicks in the NBA the California Knicks the New York Knickerbockers yeah the New York California okay yep. Okay, yep. They got stuck, no flights.

Can I have a hint for one of them? One of them is in Sacramento. Kings. Yeah. Yeah. And another one is in the city that you live in. There are two teams here. You look so...

See, we should zoom in on this i uh used to buy my ales but i'm nervous now that was such an inorganic setup for the joke hey um hey what are you hungry are you hungry i'm dead no what i'm if you're oh sorry if you were hungry i'd be I'm not hungry anymore. I used to be. And so are we for that answer to the question. The LA heat. It's funny because you said nails.

What do you do to your nails when they get too long? The clippers. The clippers. Yeah. I don't get those points. The WNBA team. Do you know the WNBA team? The Sparks. Yay. R. I don't get those points. The WNBA team. Do you know the WNBA team? The Sparks.

Yay. Rats. The Los Angeles Sparks. I didn't have time to say it. Whoa. That's the Sparks logo. That's a good logo. Those are all the teams in California?

Yeah. LA gets three of them? The Oakland might be getting, or San Francisco might be getting um a wmba team oakland okay guys uh okay that's nothing next question i'll kill you easy one who is red hourbuck i don't know i do not know um red hourbuck this is like okay wait i'm gonna guess he's like the gm of something I do not know. These are getting progressively harder. This is like, okay, wait, I'm going to guess. He's like the GM of something.

That's my guess. Okay. That's him. He's cute. This photo's a hint, probably. He's old. Is he like the founder of the NBA or something? No. Is he like the founder of the NBA or something? No, but he, so he is a 70s, like very famous winning coach for the Celtics.

And then he did become GM after he retired from coaching. I don't know much about the Celtics history. So that's a blind spot. I knew, look, I said questions would be getting progressively harder. I'll take it. Jordan just got a really hard one. You got a hard one.

Mine was a sticker dude. That was so streaky. I think Jarvis gets the half point from the WNBA. I think that's fair. Red Auerbach is, it's very funny. Cause he, first of all, look at his outfit, but also he's like chomping on a cigar. I was like, okay boys, you gotta go in there. You gotta go in there and you gotta kick him in the nuts. because he, first of all, look at his outfit, but also he's like chomping on a cigar.

Okay, boys, you got to go in there. You got to go in there and you got to kick him in the nuts. Hey, what is this? It's the 70s. No, there's no rules in basketball. Name all the teams. We actually saw him in that Larry Bird video. He was the guy going, okay, so Larry's coming in. Oh, okay.

He does look like a police commissioner. Even the name. Commissioner Auerbach, yeah. Give me your gun and your badge and your ball. Who do you think I am? Red Auerbach? That's not going to fly in my precinct. What did they say to him?

Hey, you like basketball? Okay, next question is also hard. How many points do you get for a three-pointer? Do you think I'm stupid? No. Do you think I'm some kind of rube huh you're so smart what's up it's oh this is you think i'm dumb just because i don't freaking know anything and i a lot of my practical skills are non-transferable and i'm really developed in any kind of you know practical

or significant way and i don't know like 15 years're like, cause I didn't finish high school. Great. Cool. And I don't know how to drive. He's still going. Great. Yeah, no, I did this. Who's telling him these things? Who even cares about that? I'm a little slow.

He's starting to cry. Oh no. I see tears coming from his eyes. My doctor is concerned about the butt disease. He doesn't say it's dangerous or anything. He just says it's embarrassing anything he just says it's embarrassing he just says i'm sad that you have it your butt i'm so sad i have to email all of your friends i've got to let everyone know i'm sad i had to hack into your email address and

email your immigration lawyers and it did you lost your visa as a result america's like we can't let you in with that butt disease. I pray that there's not some nuance I'm missing and it's not three points. Okay, let's see. Three. It's okay. Zero. Zero points.

That's Steph Curry, two points for that. Yep. I'll give you 10 points. I'll give you 30 points, his number. Oh, it's 30. He's on their worries. And he's sponsored by uh racket and the jump man oh yeah okay next question jarvis explain the triangle defense so okay what i know about the triangle defense is that it was something that was played in the olden days, in like the 90s.

The all-back era. Because there was different rules about, like you couldn't have spread, or excuse me. Yeah, you couldn't have zone defenses in basketball until relatively recently. I don't fully know how the triangle works, but I know that like you had to have a man and you couldn't like drift from your man. And I assume that you're creating a triangle somewhere like around the, like the paint. Other than that, I knew that,

I know that there was a coach who ran it that was really famous and maybe it was Phil Jackson it was Phil Jackson that's gotta be a half right and if I'm being honest I can't explain the triangle

so I don't know you clearly did not know who Michael Jackson was. You know what I mean? The guy, the jumping man, Michael Jackson. There is a Michael Jordan, Michael Jackson music video.

Oh really? Yeah. Where they were like, um, uh, where like Michael Jordan teaches Michael Jackson how to play basketball. Michael Jackson teaches Michael Jordan how to dance. I'm really good.

He said dance. Um, here them are good at it. I'm really good at dance. How to do the last one. Here's a photo of what it is. Hey, there is a triangle in the paint. I'm just making that shit up. Also, they drew triangles for the players. That doesn't make it a triangle. I just Googled triangle defense.

But what I do know is- Any defense of your team is triangles. It's actually a combination of man to man and zone i don't know anything else beyond that yeah there is yeah but uh phil jackson is the one who came up with it for the 90s bulls there you go i knew i knew a lot of surrounding facts about it the big dance all right next question this is we're coming towards the end were long or short in the 70s and 80s see that the issue is that they're called shorts you know that's true the bias is kind of first of all it's relative to the player

if it's a shorter player their pants if long shorts would be better for mugsy bogues those shits were pants it was just pants the jeans at this point the 70s is especially challenging because uh i feel like i've definitely seen the very very early basketball players with kind of hilariously short shorts like volleyball shorts however long, long, dancing, long pants, hammer, empty hammer style

basketball shorts would make sense to me as well. I'm going to go short and I'll tell you for why. I believe when you showed me a video featuring the triangle defense with the pick and roll with Scotty Pippen. nope his friend no his friend's

michael jordan no no they hung out oh okay i see the guy from the celtics yes scotty pippen was on the bulls what's his name he's white he's so white we'll see him in a minute famous famous white he's white and you can see so much of the white because they were short in that video from the past his uh he's like not a raven but larry bird there he is michael jordan he's got a wedgie there yeah oh wow give him a break that's magic johnson oh yeah and larry bird and they both have the shortest shorts in the world you know what doesn't help what's actually maybe helping magic is how long his socks are larry bird is elected to like wear like flip-flop socks like they're really they're starting below the calf and it is man it's there's real estate between those socks and the ass i'll tell you what yeah his legs look like little hot dogs um they're so moisturized just a little um fun fact

during this time converse was the exclusive shoe of the NBA. You could not wear any other shoe. And we all know how fun it is to play in Converse. It was illegal to have padding. I'm not even comfortable to walk in Converse. Yeah. I can't even stand for 10 minutes in Converse. To Jordan's credit, though, in the early 2000s, the shorts were so long.

Yeah. Like they were like Allen Iverson era or whatever. So there's an interesting thing in shorts. I'll say. Where they are so short. This is like late 70s, early 80s. Then towards in the 90s, they start getting longer and longer.

2000s, it's like, whoa, you are wearing pants. You're wearing baggy pants. They've jumped the shark in how long they are. And then around 20, like recently, 2019, I would say, they started getting shorter and shorter and shorter. And now I think we're at the shortest they'll be and they're going to get longer again. Just because of the cycles of stuff.

And that's Anastasia's shorts theory. That's true. Okay, next question. How does that affect the moon phases? Jarvis, name seven of the most notable career records. Okay, most points. He's got that. Most points all time.

Yeah. Longest shorts. okay okay most points he's got that uh most points all time yeah longest shorts um he okay it's it's so he's played for so long that a lot of them have to be but the thing is i know he doesn't have like most assists or something like that because that's a john stockton record uh all right brainiac yeah but the thing is i'm like what are his records it's like the most notable ones uh maybe like most games won in a career i don't know uh definitely not most championships most hair um because like because bill russell has 11. Bill Russell is Celtics great. Okay, so maybe that's two. Most games played is maybe not one,

but I know that LeBron's had no major injuries over the course of his career. Maybe most minutes played because he's high usage rate. Cause a lot of people have like long careers, but they become role players in time. And LeBron has been a starter his entire career. So maybe most career starts. These are not notable,

but I'm like, is that like you were in the starting team, not on the bench? Yeah. Like you're in the starting five. So like what goes hand in hand with most points? like you're in the starting five. So like what goes hand in hand with most points? Probably something like most 30 point games

or something like that. But you know how like Kobe has like most missed shots or something like that? It's just cause he takes a lot of- He's shooting a lot. It's a very ungenerous framing. Right, right framing right right no exactly but it's like one of those oh wait that's right wait most finals losses wait maybe that's not true actually

wait LeBron does have one of those records it's like sounds really negative but it's actually a positive yeah yeah I don't know I'm out of ideas do you have any hints oh I'm giving it to you because I can't name all of them. Like, if you look at all of his accolades from high school, like, and NBA and even the Olympics and stuff, like playing for our national team.

Right, right. It's too much. But here's just a sample of some of them. All-time leading scorer you double digit scoring games oh okay you got most 20 points but you said 30 points so maybe he doesn't have most 30 points but i should have yeah okay uh most all i didn't think about team selections uh top five all-time points okay yeah four mvp. All-time playoff point. I didn't think about the playoffs. Youngest player to reach every round milestone in points,

which is crazy. I had the right thinking, but I didn't select the right things. Yeah. But, okay. Congrats on that, LeBron. Oh, yeah. Shout-outs to LeBron.

Yeah, coming on the pod soon. We hope. Did you imagine? Yeah, that would be so strange. We are talking hair transplants. Oh, thank you, sir, for being here. Oh, Mr. Michael Jordan. No, the jump man.

He walks out. Okay, next question. Which basketball player are you told you look alike a lot? Hint, he fucks. Wait, why'd you say that Italian style? Well, you look alike a lot. Look alike a lot. You look alike a lot. Why fucks. Wait why'd you say that Italian style? Well you look alike a lot. You look alike a lot. You look alike a lot. Why you looking so much? Hey this guy's looking a little bit uh there's a little bit like Wilt Chamberlain. Oh that's the name. He fucks no? He does. Look uh at this photo of him. Oh look at how short that shorts are. That's too short.

That's too short for life. He got a little too comfortable with those shorts. Tell me if that's not Jordan to a T. Yeah, that's me jacked Jordan. There's one where he's, I think it's in college where he's dead to camera. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And just mustache. And he has like kind of my teeth from a year ago, a little bit too. And weirdly, he looks, he's kind of the spitting image of my teeth from a year ago a little bit too and uh weirdly he looks he's kind of the

spitting image of my dad oh hold on i've never seen jordan's dad and will chamberlain can you type in daddy please there's a photo of him going like this and his arms and my like his arms are so long and his muscles are so big it's wild yeah i need to get that second part i gotta get big what if i got huge arms and save the rest everywhere else okay like a big ape would you agree to get an outfit like this and take a photo too much side ass yeah people complain about side ass but they haven't seen the nba in the 70s just you wait okay this is the last uh bit by the way um toss up question are you ready okay um means either of us can take it which current nba yeah so just

shout it out when you know which current nba player rode a jet ski on spongebob david haslove kind of true he's in it that's true not nba player but current in the movie i mean i feel like the only people it could be is like lebron it's not who you think it is oh okay so i was check i was shocked okay okay oh current nba shoot it had to be him begging to be on rather than them asking him okay okay good player i would know maybe not patrick star oh cute oh you know what he did do a big dunk so so that's also that's actually one of lebron's records as well. They started doing this weird thing where they would put Nickelodeon characters

into games while you watch them. And there's one where Patrick dunks and then he mean mugs. What? I've never seen him like this. What happened to you change, man yeah ever since you got rich um i'll give you a hint he is on the lakers right now right now on the lakers yeah anthony davis in his dad's suit i didn't realize it would be a human Anthony Davis and not like a cartoon.

Man, that looks like it'd just be a press photo. What? I tried to find the video and for some reason I couldn't find it. It's been scrubbed. Dude, riding a jet ski in a suit is the coolest thing. This looks like lost media. This looks like something that you would see on a forum

where someone's like, I'm trying to find, I had a dream in 1998 that Anthony Davis was riding a jet ski real i'm developing the first version of stable diffusion it's not there yet okay here's an example do you imagine surprisingly jordan won he knows more about basketball that's true oh i guess you know i think shout out that the the shadow heart question i think is what really pulled me over the line on that one and the fact that i bet all my points and it won. True.

And then I found a point in the couch. You did find a point in the couch. Although you got a side point for me just for, you know. Just for funsies. One other thing I was thinking about when we were looking at the Jumpman thing is I was like, I know who the logo is. I wanted to be like Jerry West.

I genuinely, very sincerely, uh you brought up the shoe question there's a part of me like all right should i be confident i'm worried i've because i've felt this level of confidence many times in my life and been so wrong about really basic shit like what's your address and then i say it wrong yeah i asked what year were you born like this year i'm sorry i'm under pressure i just want to go to the bar please i mean same there have been times uh where i'm with my closest friend and another person comes up to us and i go to introduce my closest friend i can't remember the name the big dog wow that happened to me it happened to me i was on a how how much of this can I say?

I was on the lake. I think this is fine. I was getting coffee with a date. Like it was just like a little coffee date. First meeting of someone. And then our friend Evan walks into the cafe. And so I say hi to Evan, but then I introduce him to my date. And I'm like, and their name is?

No, I didn't forget their name, I didn't forget their name. I didn't forget their name, but there's a part of me that was like, here goes nothing. I'm like, I hope this is right. The stakes are too high. Yeah. It is a miss, it's a huge miss.

Michael Jordan. And they're like, sorry, I'm LeBron. I've bought myself time before being like, this is one of my dearest friends. And Lisa. time before being like this is one of my dearest friends and this is just what is that

what is that is it a full moon today it's 12pm what is the there's so many names I have many names for you I call her my little pally she's got a name but

i think it's more important you know she's my pal it's really nice of you to say i'm your closest friend by the way oh yeah it actually meant a lot to me yeah that you forget his name regularly jordy laford jordy i've not that's what we call when jordan's uh cooking in the oven he's like putting in a souffle he goes goes, going into Jordi's LaForge. I'm melding a sword. No, seriously. I've not been doing great lately, and it meant a lot that you said that.

And you didn't say it about Jarvis, which you meant a lot to me. Right, no, for sure. Jarvis and I don't go way back when we're old friends. No, not at all. He's not my little pal again. Don't I know it. Thank you for pairing me up, Chris. Thanks so much, Anastasia.

Thanks for letting me win. I'll leave now. Please. You're just going to the chair. She's sprinting. You still have the mic. She's attacking Jacob. Feel free to, thank you, Anastasia, for joining us.

Feel free to bring any and all games to us. I think it's very bold as gate the game so i can hang you bring boulders gate jordan plays for 120 i'm in a really bad mood if you try and talk to me i'm like i'm gaming he's gaming silently in the corner while we record i put up one of those little signs you see on teenagers doors that's like danger gaming in progress so today uh our main topic i wanted to talk about something that i failed to make a video about i like went to go record a gold video the other day um on two things actually and the other you will see in sad boys nights the premium patreon podcast uh hosted by us immediately after this podcast the

one i wanted to talk about today is ho math it's the two funniest things next it's too like not that funny by themselves but ho math yeah that sounds like a a name from the 30s ho math hogarth my two sons and pimply um this is so funny also i love that he's using the you wouldn't steal a car yeah you wouldn't download a car you wouldn't download a car yeah so this this is like a a tiktok account that we found where this it's like a red pillar manosphere guy it's already very cool normal way to be yeah normally i'm totally cool with that not insane and dangerous way of thinking but he stitches um these like women who are talking about relationships and stuff, explains why they're wrong by using his own homegrown infographics that he drew himself with his own colored pencils. Literally the way the Riddler thinks. Yeah.

I've built a game, a structure to prove that Gotham will fall. Oh, you already got it. Perfect. And so the reason that I couldn't figure out how to make a video about this is because there was so much shit to tease apart. I needed, like, help. And that's why I brought you here today. I'm here. There's one thing I know. It's math.

And that's why I brought you ho today. Also, I don't like saying the word ho to refer to women i'm only really using it in the context of this uh in the context of this tiktok this and santa the name of this tiktok account but just just know that like i that's why we're saying it um and it's like yeah um i don't even know what the consensus is on it you know it is uh yeah it's just like no fun you don't want to i i feel like it's in the in the same arena as like uh using the b word to refer to women anastasia thoughts i said that because anastasia picked up the mic not because i was like

resident women checking in let's check the rules. You're a hoe. What do you think? I think it's very slut shamey. That's the other thing too is like, who cares if someone has lots of sex? But it's like these people aren't even having a lot of sex. It's like the concept of it.

A woman saying something. So I just think it's like the the concept of it yeah a woman saying something yeah so i just think it's a a bad word that and i also don't like how it sounds yeah it's a poorly constructed i don't even i don't even like the gardening implement it's not the one i use i just call it a shovel and i know i'm wrong i'm curious about the one that says sword. All three of these are incredible. What's toilet paper? But maybe we can... Where do you see toilet paper? Isn't that what they're pointing to?

Oh, I see. Yeah, sword. Could we go to that first, the TikTok page for Hogarth? Charts and diagrams on a hose, et cetera etc which is an insane thing to write normal brain moment yeah very normal behavior there's lots of women in the thumbnails i tell you no it's like straightforward yeah and he tags all of the people and i've seen i've seen him say in the replies like they have to know like he's like i've got to correct them and so you're shaking your head it's just like so arrogant he's very arrogant that's like and i said i've got to correct them and so you're shaking your head it's just like so

arrogant he's very arrogant that's like and i said you just want to join us guys actually come through no because now i feel like um i don't want to do like and the resident woman in the corner checking into beep corner they forced me to stay in that corner. I don't choose to be there. There's no chair. Yeah, I'm sitting on the ground. No, I'm just kidding. I chose to be in the corner. Yeah, Jarvis and I looked at this trying to make a video out of it, but it was just too hard.

He's a producer for us and has worked with me for many years and is behind the scenes on like everything. J'ai vu. Le J'ai vu. Yeah. If you think I'm not there, you're wrong. You're wrong.

I'm there doing math. I'm in the shadow. I'm a math expert. Calculating. Jar of math. And so, yeah, we were looking at this and this guy is just like a piece of work. A real interesting gentleman so he takes uh women who say things about relationships on tiktok and other platforms that made me mad already on my tiktok um and and stitches uh with them to explain what they're saying because they're not allowed

to talk about tell their own feelings they can't explain how they feel about something themselves he has to tell them they're wrong well they should have drawn some charts yeah if they want no math um okay so let's start with sword because I haven't seen that one. All we want in the depths of our heart is for somebody to do this. I've been widely criticized for including the words dark triad in my relationship. What? I mean, I don't know specifically why he's been criticized, but I'll criticize him for being a nerd. Far and wide have I been criticized

for my use of the dark triad. The grimoire. Okay, first of all, the issue is we don't get enough context on what the woman is saying. Like not unlike what we're doing right now, but we don't get enough context on what the woman is saying uh before he chimes in so the the like all women want is just like for a guy to like

threaten her with a sword that's like a little bit like a little renfair horny posting yes is that they're kind of gesturing to like domination is that yeah i think um first of all you know she's wrong for saying all women true true because she wants this i don't think women in general would say i want someone to lift my head with a sword yeah i think that's true because i've never heard it once in my whole life and i've never thought it once i i identify as a woman and i've never been like where's your sword you didn't bring a sword what's stopping you from sorting me into my throat yeah that's because you don't consider yourself a maiden no i and i never have yeah if she had said all maidens want is this but i think

it would have been a little bit if i could find the right ladies um but then uh but then i think he's wrong for being like I think what he's going to say is this is an example of the dark triad which what is I don't know so let's find out it's the three types of magic it's not in the new version I don't mean to encourage these things

but what I do mean is exactly what this wait can we can we pause back and go back to the dark triad dark triad narcissism psychopathy machiavellianism nerd yeah why would you say machiavellian is this a is this a thing that i assume it's something in the manosphere that he's previously yeah or he's like just hates tupac i think i think like honestly syllables are a way of manosphere guys verifying the bullshit they're saying right as many syllables you can ask machiavellianism which what they're really talking about is like not hanging out with me

yeah telling me to stop dming them pictures of my feet so i think what he's saying is women want a narcissistic psychopathic machiavellian dude lording over them and threatening them with a sword yeah okay but what i do mean is exactly what this girl is saying as always i will let women speak for themselves anyone out there like always he never going to show you a secret move. It's a move nobody's talking about, but I know for a fact all women want. You see this? All we want in the depths of our heart is for somebody

to do this. That sounds dangerous. Let's hear you. Oh, it's... She's speaking kind of lightly. Yeah, she's being cheeky. That's... Come on, man. That seems dangerous. That is bad faith, brother. she's speaking kind of lightly yeah like this is being she's being cheeky that's come on man that seems dangerous come yeah that is bad faith brother or you could be a villain slaughtering my people across the seven kingdoms whatever she feels like she's in that's character it's a joke

because it's crazy so and okay let's keep watching this. And then I, that's all it takes. Just a little hoop. Slaughtering her people. But I thought girls were nice. Oh, fuck off. Well, actually that's stupid. And you're stupid. He does this thing where he accepts something is true that was not in the argument.

It's so dumb. It's like a straw man, right? Like he's introducing an argument that is not in the argument it's so it's uh like a straw man right like he's introducing an argument that is not being made to argue against that's right wild i mean that's this might as well be can you jump back to the like but i thought women were nice and men were mean oh popular it's not very nice to have your people slaughtered yeah he's the man snorted them that is mean i didn't think about how how a manslaughtering people was bad. Yeah. Is having your people slaughtered mean?

It's not really on you is it? Yeah, it's kind of rude of you to have your people slaughtered. You're very mean to the man. Okay. That's stupid. And you're stupid if you believe it. The way it actually works is that girls want to be on the right side of your meanness. On my old chart, I wrote dark triad

because I thought it was clear enough. You thought it was clear enough? That proves that you live in an echo chamber. Yeah, the sphere is so closed. It's like every single human knows what dark triad means. We're born knowing. Yeah, when I put dark triad in a tiny little bullet. You know what that means?

That feels like a clue. In the most cluttered and messy chart in the world with little drawings. I thought it was clear. The style of these drawings too, it looks like a diagram

for walking home safely from like middle school. Like how to cross the road. Don't forget to read. Don't forget to read. Don't forget to read. Reading can be good for your bad boy score. Women just want you to read it though. One of the things I love about this guy

is that you can tell that his passion is in making the charts. Because he will often refer to it and refer to the different versions of the charts he made as if we know what the fuck he is talking about. He's like, and this is something that wasn't included in V1 but I've since added in V3. And it's like, brother, we do not care.

It is so transparently like a, you know, since we're talking about it, like here's something I worked on. Here's some shit I worked on or whatever. I mean, I just used, I bought a whole new box of Crayola color pencils for this, but like, I guess since we're on it, here's like a little story I wrote, like some music I made or whatever, you know, check it out.

Why does he bold some of the letters? I think he messed up. Masculinity, E, confidence. He starts with an E and he goes, no, know no no fuck it's supposed to be a c dark dark that case nobody mess with me like a snake i'm a snake that's it yeah i always get my way nobody better mess with me oh it's such bullshit man he's just this is like almost like there's a five percent sincerity in like what she said the thing is is that if you've had friends in general and a

community outside of people that explicitly just hate women you know what she's referencing like it's like a little a little bit of poking light fun so like uh this is as bad faith as if he was like i thought women wanted to be progressive and yet she's wearing a corset yes and a cape that's pretty she is in a period costume is he ever going to acknowledge that also i know for a fact that he um looks at comedy videos and considers them to be real, takes them at face value, doesn't understand the comedy in them because Jacob's friend,

who is a comedian, he responded to one of her videos. Oh, Jesus. And she is a comedian. She's making comedy videos. And he responds to her as if what she's saying is what all women in the world want.

Well, that's because women aren't allowed to be funny online. Oh, yeah, I forgot. Women are funny. No jokes for ladies. I don't know if you knew this. Women are a monolith and this girl in Renfair clothes, regardless of how you want to read it, is actually a perfect representation

of all women. The modern woman. There's plenty. The way that any kind of cultural oppression works is that it also stockholm syndromes a lot of people into perpetuating the things that are hurting themselves like it is there is no representative for women and if he wants to work hard enough he can just find someone saying yeah i actually genuinely like it when a man points a gun at me yeah he's she's just finding it happens that he happened to find one that's so it feels wrong to call it a joke because it's a it's like a reference to something it's like a to a general sensation

right but like sit that seems dangerous i mean a real sword and that that sort of cherry picking could also be like retroactively applied to like us cherry picking this guy but the issue is he has an audience of people who if you read the comments are like genuinely like wow i never thought of it like that and i think it could be very harmful we're also not applying you know we don't have the like the term math you know and we're not like falsely manipulatively applying very specific data science. I did make some charts. I'm just going to go ahead and grab. Are they drawn like a child?

Yeah. So I've got my TI-84 silver edition here. He's writing boobs. Yeah, he's just writing boobs. Now he's writing hello. Wait, is that an email? Eggshell. It's an email from your doctor.

It says boobs um i uh the thing is he does make jokes and he has a dry voice but he'll every once in a while make a joke and you could argue you know that he's doing comedy as well and his little stupid doodles are comedic or whatever but like jarvis said there are people in the comments that are like you're finally putting on a graph what i've always believed and if it's on a graph then it's true it's what i mean people watch it's like those kids that came up to sneaker that time were like yeah kill all women yay and then he was like i'm it's it's actually like a character so yeah i'm actually andy kaufman yeah i killed a woman for the bare bed they said they wanted a sword the murder i did was a joke oh my god judge you're being annoying dude it was a fake

sword i was in period clothes um give me give me some more math yeah Yeah, let's check out the math. I'm trying to learn. On the new chart, I split masculinity up into competence and confidence, and I split that up into light and dark. Dark includes things like I'm better than others, I always get what I want, and no one better mess with me. Oh, look, she's happy. Dark masculinity? That is the soy shit. Nobody better mess with me. i am a dark man you can mess with my friends but if you come after my family i'll have to take action i'm competent it's one of those you know those tiktok memes where it's like somebody goes after me and it's

just it's playing like what i've done or whatever he's like whatever and then once it kicks in it says goes after my girlfriend. And then he turns into a wolf. A wolf filter turns on. Better not. So it sounds like a trait that you can like gain in Diablo or something. In your skill tree.

Well that's what he's turned it into. Yeah. Dark masculinity gives you 15% plus to access. Some people use shit like this to like, trick their brains into like working out more. Or like doing healthy habits. And this guy is harnessed for evil. To dark graphs.

If men who shouldn't be messed with. Ignore that for now. So when she says this. This moment has yet to happen to me organically. But God, I long for it. What even is the point of romance if a man cannot slightly tilt my chin up pause pause pause there's it could have a watermark that says joke yeah this is so fucking obvious this is insane yeah and if it wasn't obvious enough she's in a costume

also like on uh book talk as the resident woman right sure yeah actually i'll talk about it uh take a minute i actually have the right thought yeah hold on yeah sorry i got this one um i get i get recommended a lot of like romance book talk stuff on tiktok and i'm not i do occasionally read romances but i'm not into book talk because it's like too crazy right and um and so i'll get recommended these little videos that are like, this is my favorite part of the book. And it's like, he held me down against my will. And it's like really dark stuff, you know? And I just want to say, just because someone is, does, you know, reads romance books with that stuff in it, or does cosplay or LARPs with those elements in it, or even makes jokes about that stuff in it or does cosplay or larps with those elements in it or even makes jokes about that stuff it doesn't mean they actually want it in real life i don't think like if you

i mean if you don't fuck you don't understand the nuances of it and there is a like imagine imagine you hear somebody like they did like role play and he's like so now what i'm learning is all women want a doctor and they want to be a nurse. Yeah. That must be it. Yeah. It's like one dude watches a step-sibling porno. Yeah. And you think like, oh, he wants to just have sex with a stepsister. That's not necessarily true.

It's like a fantasy. Dark triad. He like crosses out Machiavelli's and types in like sibling question marks. It's like such a silly thing to minimize people who are very complex beings into such a... Into a chart. Yeah, into a chart. It's funny because people are infinitely complex

and you cannot turn it into a chart. And so it's funny for him to create a V1 of the chart and go, no, no, no, that doesn't represent the complexities of human relationships. V2. Instead of going, I cannot get this all into one chart. It's simply the chart is not detailed enough.

He's like, now I must make boxes. We haven't gotten there yet. We haven't gotten there yet, but he does do that. If you guys, you're familiar at all with that new Daily Wire movie, Lady Ballers. Or I mean, the current one. It's, yeah, the whole premise, just to summarize it, it's a wacky comedy.

It's not after a great foot because nobody is less funny than the Sylvatic Daily Wire community. Because every time they start joking, they start getting too angry. It's like, LGBTQ, it's making me mad. They wanted to make a documentary about the topic the topic being um in this wacky movie a bunch of guys join women's basketball so they can win and it's like you know it's just trite and shitty as it sounds and also uh the joke as it's framed is clearly supposed to be like discriminating against trans people but they have so little insight into trans people it just becomes about hating women all women that's like a lot of transphobia sadly is also just hating on women and that's like originally before it

became a comedy is because they wanted to make a documentary about it and were frustrated to discover it doesn't happen anywhere in the world because of course it doesn't yeah that's like this where it's like i need to find footage of a woman saying she wants to be killed for the sword um okay well it's not in real life i guess i'll find an obvious joke yeah somebody talking about kink oh i see you want to oh you want to have sex with a dragon i see how interesting i see yeah okay let's continue what she means is be strong prove it and then let me get behind you you want her you want her to be looking at the floor and that's not like literally all she's describing is like i'm horny for this sort of like role play a thing from movies and books that's it yeah it's a thing

that's been romanticized in movies and books does he know she's not from movies and books that's it yeah it's a thing that's been romanticized in movies and books does he know she's not from a village she's not from the 1500s she's a modern woman dude she literally does not have a village that was just slaughtered yeah the seven kingdoms he was like hold on okay interesting this is actually the first tiktok ever he does later reference the dothraki as like an example of people a book written by a man totally fictional group of people yeah he has a real hard he has a lot of difficulty with fiction i'm noticing he's like like separating because he probably lives in a fantasy land yeah he lives in his little drawing yeah that's me by the way it's self-insert.

Yeah. That's my wife. This is me hanging out with Tony Hawk. We're skateboarding together and having a good time. She's yours. In other words, I could, but I won't. Climate change. Yeah, I mean, look at the book.

Hold on. Hold on. I think if you showed somebody burglars accountability, they would never guess climate change is the thing in the middle it's so mean okay burglars are the worst wait why is accountability me i don't know it's probably like like cancel culture thing i don't know but yeah it's probably like uh well honestly it might be holding women accountable in the things like they say they want this but then when i can't believe he thinks that this is like an understandable chart. Yeah, I don't understand why accountability is there at all.

Hopefully we can find that one. I don't know why climate change is there at all. It's mean, dude. No, I get climate change. Okay, yeah. It's mean. You're mean if you- Also burglars.

Yes. Not thieves or criminals. Burglars. Like the Hamburglar. Maybe he thinks you're mean if you believe in climate change. Oh, that is so mean. You're- It's not real stop it dude women say that they are like they like nice guys but actually they hate the ozone did you know that yeah pretty hypocritical they want a guy who doesn't recycle

they want a guy who's like fuck it chloroforo chlorocarbons into the atmosphere cfc's baby they want a ceo of a company that it pollutes the environment yeah bp um okay i do want to watch like a uh maybe one or two more of these and then go into his chart description. So we may have to stop it a little less, but we'll still get it in. Have the power, but it's yours. Being a good guy does not mean being weak. It means giving her stuff like competence, perhaps with a sword.

It's so literal. Yeah. Is that mean he against competence yeah that's pretty that is actually quite attractive i think we've um i've seen this one from radiant amy and so i i know it will at least yeah let's just watch that one attractive woman cannot afford to date down i wonder who told her anyway some things never change it has never been a good idea to date a woman who is looking for problems here are a couple of literally talking over old Testament. Remember that 6,000 years ago, it is better to live in the corner of an attic than to share a house with a quarrelsome wife.

So what does that mean? Let's ask her. If you're dating somebody who is beneath you, who, you know, you're clearly out of his league, he will always take it out on you. And this also goes for a man who clearly can't afford you because these emasculated insecure men are going to end up enraged and the only way they can make their sad little selves feel better is by exerting some form of control over you potentially even abuse and the clearer it is that you are not beneath them that he is beneath you the more triggered he will be. I mean, yeah, it's a thing again, if you take it extremely literally and don't kind of understand the nuances of it, then you could say, yeah, that's let me put you on a scale.

But I mean, yeah, I mean, she brings up a man who's insecure, first of all. Yeah. Like, I think she there's things that she says that i totally disagree with i yes but i think what she's talking about is when um you're in an abusive relationship where someone feels insecure so they're taking it out on you rather than just feeling secure in the relationship very commonly understood to be the source of yeah a lot of emotional physical abuse right it is i mean the only complaints i have about is like syntax like the phrasing it's like i think conflating it with can't afford me or like um above me above me beneath me like that sort of stuff is like, it's probably shortcuts for what she

actually means. But I think that it is a trigger for this type of dialogue, which is like the rankings, the numbers and stuff. And so like, that's why I don't agree with like that sort of context of what she said. But the core of someone who's insecure, dating someone who's insecure, that might will project it is highly likely to be able to project that insecurity into the relationship is like pretty well understood yeah again he had to find one where some of the language was disagreeable or like the kind of language they would use in the first place afford for example yeah yeah it's a little it's kind of that's the term they would use in their space but the she'd be making the

exact same argument if she just said someone that feels insecure about their income right feels like they can't buy you things do things and she's none of it is coming from her right and also those guys would use that term in their head i can't afford you that would be it triggered he will be so what she's saying is that she's a 10 because all women are 10s except for actual 10s because

okay not what she said I guess I didn't hear that not even a single time did she say that I guess maybe also I just want to remind us

this is what she said about a bible quote she never mentioned right right because he didn't bring this bring in a random bible quote

about a quarrelsome wife what does that even have to do with anything this lady's being quarrelsome i don't want to be sexist but she's being real quarrelsome also if you're living your life by uh you know 200 a.d standards he cited it being six thousand years old as a credited like thumbs up for it like right okay so this is really old and yet you think it's wrong also don't people there's like disagreements about the whatever yeah it wasn't written in english six thousand yeah no wait the but he's saying the bibles jesus was yeah okay i guess the old testament was yeah that's the thing that's the thing where i'm like it's he states this is fact or it's like accepted fact i'm more into the yeah i like the remake though all right let's keep going because all women are tens except

for actual tens because that's a patriarchal beauty standard and pretty much no men are tens except for the ones who would never date her so if you do date her then you are beneath her let's just go like this okay she didn't say any of this reaction to a different clip none of it no no it's like it's like all of his insecurities coming in what he said is that i'm too short and my hands are too small and you wouldn hates my hair. And you wouldn't even date somebody who is more attractive than me.

So why aren't you settling for me? Why would you love me? My mom says I'm nice and I'm handsome and have all the qualities a girl would like. Basically what she's saying is that she doesn't like any crayon drawings at all. She thinks it's unimpressive. And she thinks if a guy has a colored pencil

then he's bad and bad. Why have I heard that so much? But if he's great at drawing it's a patriarchal yeah yeah yeah when he says except for actual tens because that's a patriarchal beauty stand every woman is a 10 except for actual 10 it does rely on you kind of like the how the bible quote kind of relies on you putting stick into the bible like yeah screening that objectively like hey look at this thing we all believe. This requires you to believe in it and use a scale.

Like, no, it's not what she was saying because most people don't think that's real, dog. That every one of his videos, he starts with, since we know all these facts, and it's like, those are not facts, what are you talking about? In accordance with the dark mystery or whatever. Yeah, yeah. The grim triangle.

Well, it's like, because we know bananas are blue. And it's like, hold on. Wait, wait, wait. I don't think those are that. That means she doesn't like the size of my legs. Huh? And that makes you an abuser. So that's a little quarrelsome.

Where, where? It means she's all set up to tell you you're worthless, start making accusations, ruin your life, and then do it all over again. And it doesn't stop there. Girl, always. Can you pause? Does he think that women want to like chew up and spit out men

and don't want to be in loving relationships? I think that's literally it. At a young age that men are food. Yum, yum, yum. Yeah, of course. You know, that's because I, you know, often we'll hear the motif that. Careful, yum, yum. Yeah, of course. You know, that's, because I, you know, often we'll hear the motif that-

Careful, he'll take you literally. You know. He's like, this documentary, it's Attack on Titan episode one. All men are, according to them, all men are huge and exist in the nape of their neck.

Yeah. All men, all little guys have swords, I guess. Yeah. I mean, yeah, obviously, you know, what we hear all the time is that women are never educated or pressured to defer to man and try and make them feel more secure by reducing their personal comfort or anything what they hear is women are black widows that deliberately kill you because it's funny because that's a cycle that cycle is

like chew up a man destroy him make him an abuser okay it doesn't sound like that's something that that sounds like something he did like the the way he throws around abuse is so weird it's it's so dangerous too because it's like that is actually a part of abuse is making the person being abused think that they deserve it they did something wrong to deserve that does he think abuse just doesn't exist at all that's the only way any of what he's saying makes sense because he's using abuse like

it's a legal term that those wily women use yeah that women careful with women because they might label you as an abuser they'll win on technicality and it's like not well I mean first of all men are abused in relationships as well like they're all an abuse they'll win on technicality yeah and it's like not well i mean first of all

men are abused in relationships as well like they're all genders can be abused so that sounds horrible but it's true yeah and so the fact that he's turning this into like a man woman thing is fucked up it's a relationship thing yeah and it is really dangerous to say abuser sarcastically like it's not a real thing and whereas he is convinced that the dothraki are real oh i really do want to find the clip where he talks about the dothraki because we found it i just don't know which video was that but anyway uh let's keep watching this. And it doesn't stop there. Girl, always choose the selfish option, okay? Let me tell you, I went to Berkeley. Here she is being the table. Everything she says in every one of her videos is,

men must serve my needs. She's pretty committed. I think we all know where that goes by now. Others are... He zooms into these charts like we recognize. You gotta slow down, homie. He zooms into the chart like we go, ah, slow down, homie. He zooms into the chart like we go, ah, yes, chart number two, V2,

women are evil, part one, section three. Yes, the Institute of Relationship Politics put this out. It's like, no, where did you get this from? The Institute of Chatology. Chatology. It is, I mean, even the fact that he just, yeah, pulling up the chart, getting away from it really fast, I'm overwhelmed, what are you doing? It just plays even the fact that he just yeah the pulling up the chart getting away from it really

fast i'm overwhelmed what are you doing it just plays in gotcha it plays into the fact that like his interest is not in educating or challenging these ideas it's a dog whistling to the people that already believe yeah exactly sub and do that comment the fact that you tag them is amazing his reply is they need to they need to know i'm doing a public good need to know. They need to know. I'm doing a public good. Stay single, Kings. I don't think you need to drive. They're dangerous, dude. And it's like, yeah, stay single. If you believe this, stay single.

For everyone's sake. Stay single. It's like very divorce court coded for people who are single. You know what I mean? They're like, not me letting a woman suckle me dry and steal all my life force. They'll take everything that I don't have. Yeah. I think we all know where that goes by now. Others are seen mainly as a means to an end.

So find someone who knows her value, agrees that it matches yours, and is willing to give as much as she gets. I think I would put her down here for personality. Remember, the Lord is watching. Why? He's very like a serial killer.

Yeah. That is what serial killers do. They write big charts and conspiracy theories on their wall, and then they have crucifixes up in movies. Yeah. The fact that it's one that he drew to is so funny to me. Oh, dude. Poor Jesus. Poor Jesus.

I didn't want to rag necessarily. No, I will rag on his art. It looks shitty, man. Why are you better at this you know he he also is like my he mentions like oh my bad little drawings or whatever but he loves his drawings he does he loves them so much he shows them to you so much i mean it's like how like ben shapiro was an aspiring screenwriter because he's from hollywood or he's from la and he was an aspiring screenwriter and he got pushed out of he's from LA and he was an aspiring screenwriter and he got pushed out of it

because he sucked and then instead he'd like, oh, what do people like? Oh, people like when I grift and say all this bullshit. Oh, that's actually, yeah, I always wanted to do that actually. Also the number two

on the men's scale is shirtless. That's funny. Yeah. Can we, okay, I think I have an idea. I do like the idea that if two fives fall in love,

then it's cool. This kind of reminds me of the, um, we looked at a Reddit that was like true rating. True rating. Yeah. This reminds me of true rate me where it's like, Oh,

so everyone is a five, right? They just want the whole world to be fives. And it's like... Well, tens are an unrealistic beauty standard. It's like, why not just stop using numbers to define people? It would make it harder to fit them in charts.

Oh, too shabby. Which, of course, you take to your first date and break down the diagram. And if they, of course, they align. He holds the chart up to her face. Yeah, like paint swatches. It's funny that you say that you say that well you're wearing a green sweater so you're a four and i have a shirt on um okay uh will you hit the x or escape and then i i think i may know where the dothraki one is it might be in positive toxicity season eight scroll up top right oh my

god i it might be i think you're right uh no no no positive toxic yeah yeah why do girls actually like toxic relationships this guy's not as angry as he should be when girls want you to be toxic you okay easily the guy was yelling what do you want as he moved the chart i I saw it said GOT. Oh, yeah. No, we're getting into it. We're getting into it. Yeah, you're exciting.

Also, let's look at the comments real quick. I'm tired, boss. Blood is a pro. Literally. Literally. What? What was that last one do you think when the board get gf still really wants you that she'll that'll that she'll push boundaries to get you to act in a more exciting way yes she starts fights

that's like um that's like you're being a bad boyfriend and then she tries to give you feedback of what she wants and then it's like you're just what she wants. And then it's like, you're just starting a fight. Everything was fine. It's like, no, I'm unhappy. I want something else. I worked a long day and all I ask is that you do some dishes like just help me with some dishes. Why are you starting a fight right now? What is this really about?

Yeah. Why are you starting? I was just, I'm just playing my game. Do I need to hold a sword to your throat? Yeah, he holds a sword to your throat. I thought you wanted this you are threatening me right now babe can you please consult the chart before saying this to me yeah this little devil means that you're being mean and these three x's mean horny we'll

get to that okay you can hit play angry as he should be when girls want you to be toxic you cannot respond like this you have to respond with positive toxicity let me explain oxymoron i don't just it's just nonsense man i'm losing so upsetting this is tapping suggestive text just over and over positive toxicity so on zones i split women's needs up into good guy stuff and bad boy stuff this is don't get it twisted. Zones V1 was something he was just fiddling around with and that didn't make it to the light of day.

And V3 has more little boxes. Because he was really into right angles. These are all true things, by the way. We're quoting him. We'll get to that next. But I wanted to show Jordan this. but I wanted to show Jordan this any good guy stuff and if you do that she's not going to get excited this is where all the exes are so if you're

only nice to girls then this is their reaction and if you are a little devilish then this is their reaction now being a bad boy doesn't mean being bad it means being cool it means doing badass things in Game of Thrones there's this one scene where the dragon princess is with the desert people or

whatever and they're having a big rowdy party and there's desert people or whatever he he is holding back dothraki he knows he speaks dothraki yeah he does dude desert people way worse way does that yeah really feels racist fictional people also i'm pretty sure they are grasslands people i read the books yeah yeah yeah idiot yeah they have horses yeah you know desert horse people or whatever or are there desert people that she's talking about but no not that not that uh uh the dragon that calise uh got with the dragon princess. Sorry. Anyway, continue. A big rowdy party. And there's one desert girl who I think is not wearing very much.

And then there's a desert guy and he goes, I like this. And so I am going to take it. Yeah, that's sick, man. I like this. I believe that's the exact line. This object, I'm into it.

And then there's another desert guy who goes, hang on a second. I would like to the exact line. This object, I'm into it. And then there's another desert guy who goes, hang on a second. I would like to have this girl. So now I'm going to stop you. And then one of them cuts the other one open and he dies. So what does the desert girl think about this? Is she horrified? No.

She goes, that was awesome. You can totally have me now. I also went over this with lions. When one male lion. And lion behavior is exactly the same as human behavior. Yeah, I'm glad he did go over it with lions because I was like, I'm just not seeing the connection

between these fictional guys. The desert people. These fictional desert people and real life human beings. But when you explain it with lions, now I see the connection. Right, yeah. Now I'm aligned.

Perfect. And you know... You're a lion. Well, yeah, I appeal to nature. Obviously, this is just like my ass dude i'm always doing lion stuff you know yeah it's true you're more of a desert man dude these teeth are wild okay yeah his lion drawings are balling these are v0 these are v0 he's just whipping them out temporarily all right continue and challenges another the female lions just sit there and watch just like who's it gonna be they are probably enjoying watching these guys face probably probably well they have to go what who's it gonna be because the other one's gonna be dead

who's it gonna be this is fun for me a female lion she said in english as a lion the dark i'm a dark triangle or whatever yeah Yeah. The triangle of defense. Enjoying watching these guys face off. And then they like the one who is stronger, the winner. So when you get a girl. He, the stuff he points to, he really thinks there's, there's no shot that people understand this chart. Did he point to the eye?

Because he's navigating around it in a way that's intuitive to him but we didn't make the chart yeah and it's not an intuitive chart hey so what's that climate change burglar accessibility or whatever hey little timmy what's this oh that's a fire truck and this is thy house and that's my dad oddly enough i do think it works though when you're not really paying attention you're just kind of scrolling tiktok and he's tapping a pen. You're like, oh, that is evidence. Of course. Well, it's like when Ben Shapiro talks fast and it makes you think he's smart.

But then you're like us pausing it and really going through it. It's like, hold up. What's this little doodle? Yeah. Yeah. Was it a devil? What's XXX? The devil means horny is so like. is also this doesn't need to be the

face next to the xxx but is it her having an orgasm yeah i think it is and also these boxes are pointless because like there's no relationship this this only goes one way it doesn't go up it only goes down which is no jarvis don't tell him he's bad at charts that's all he has oh no that's true okay i'll take it back. It actually makes perfect sense to me. Friend, and you only do nice things in front of her. She gets bored. You have to do manly things to trigger her, this stuff.

And you have to do it without cutting anyone's guts out. So it's unfortunate that we call these things toxic. Yeah. What do you mean? Do not cut her. We as modern men have to figure out some way of attracting women without killing someone yeah i see so his gripe is that we these women won't let us murder a rat um i know you guys have said this before but the funniest thing about all of this is he's, the bar is so low and these guys make it seem so much harder than it actually is.

Right. You do not need this chart. Yeah. Because it's never, have you noticed, it's never, ever, ever anecdotal evidence from their experience. Right. It is always, hey, I, you know, I watched five episodes of Fargo and I realized that like it's, they, I guess they love snow.

Just some bullshit because the way that they're signaling their knowledge of something is media analysis because that's pretty much all red pill shit. If you don't have the real life experience, then you have to grab it from Game of Thrones, which is not a place to get the modern woman's psyche. There is a... I just finished Scott Snyder's run of Batman,

and I guess what they love is rodent men. Yeah, true. I'm a fan of the Game of Thrones books. I read them all, loved them. But even I'm going to say, George R.R. Martin does not understand women. And there's stuff in there like just even about female anatomy where it's like oh he does not understand how this works right he's like the boob he caressed the boob on her back in the sand texture of them

her beautiful Magina below on the shin. There's a part where he talks about a woman going into a pool and the water going inside her. That is not how that works. We don't fill with water when we swim. That's what being pregnant is.

You inflate. Then why does your water break when you have a baby? According to the books. no more water for you. Women want to really date and have sex with the ocean. And yet they're saying to be nice. She walked into the balloon factory and her vagina filled with helium. She's floating away from me. And she started floating away from me.

She's floating away and that's why I hate women forever. She ate that candy from Wonka. Yeah, she was that aunt from harry potter who got really big what is get bad boy score will do all right let's see they're not toxic they're healthy you don't have to be bad to make her excited but you do have to make her excited so you're only doing these good guy things and then you're wondering why she doesn't feel this way we have a harder task than previous generations of men. Women from previous times used to just feel like, well, he's nice and that's all I need.

But today's women need to feel excitement. I don't think he knows that for sure. Based on what, dog? Previous generations sometimes didn't choose their husband yeah and they expect it in and it's a socially if there's like a social expectation to be married and be right and not rock the boat right and you're not focusing on the happiness of like women he wasn't alive you never met these people this never took place it's like all those uh guys are like i remember the good old days and it's a cigarette ad and it's like a guy driving to work and like nothing like the first marlboro of the day or like picnic with my family and ad companies invented right so

that people would buy the photography he thinks game of thrones is the olden times back when the bible was written and i think he thinks that uh the renaissance period it was filmed back then i mean also the thing the dynamic that's never going to make any sense in any of these is always you have to pick a lane dude between women have these disgusting sickening expectations and that's why they're bad and actually this is what they want you don't get both because either they're lying to you and they all and they're lying to you or it's the renfair girl and she does want the thing that's bad right either they're biologically evil or that they actually like the other it just doesn't work like if he finds one person that's like a trad wife if he was was like a trad wife TikTok, he's just going to go like,

see, women do want this. I'm like, so who are you mad at? Who are you pissed off at? The only thing left would be other men lying to you. And it does not make any sense because what's the like medicalizing or science-ifying instinct? He's just going like, I don't like women,

but I think it's because of rules. Must be numbers. Gotta be the right angles yeah i need right angles all right let's play today's women need to feel excitement you can't just go out and do things like this but it does help to make her feel even though you want to you would if you had to there's a whole big list of things to do here to make her feel like you're fighting for her. Be powerful. Exhibit leadership. If you go out and someone looks at her, make sure she knows she's yours. You don't have to do anything.

What? Sorry? Make sure someone knows she's yours. If a guy looks at her. I know what he's trying to say. Kill him with a sword. Yeah. It's very funny.

But he's saying women like that yeah so i mean what overprotective they want helicopter boyfriend some people might say that they do either because they are they feel they're expected to say that or there is like a kink element to like hey some people want to put on a leash it's not because they want to eat kibble and go to dog trainer school it's just an isolated sensation that they have it's kind of like wearing a white wedding dress like like the history of why it's a white wedding dress is a little it's like purity and but it doesn't mean someone believes in that if they wear a white wedding it just makes them feel nice okay and then it's over it's like i think that's the thing i mean whatever all of these whether you're a toxic man or toxic woman when

you put stuff like this on tiktok you are distilling human beings who are very complex and you know contain multitudes into this doodle into this cool art yeah um and that's impossible because not all people can be put into a doodle most people can't be put into a doodle i'd say most people don't like it when you kill someone in front of them the only people who can be put into a doodle are like the flow chart ass red people who like who like like actually just have the same responses and say the same things over and over yeah that's why we could do a video yeah yeah what if your kink was being put into a doodle oh my god he would find his perfect match draw me again with a little sword i don't know maybe i'm a little devil i don't know know. XXX, baby. I'm being bad, but she should feel like you are fighting for her and winning.

You cannot just stay at home and watch movies and go, wasn't that nice? It does not work that way. Well, you can't be boring. That's a different thing. Yeah. You can't just stay at home all the time and not talk to her. Yeah. You can't just watch movies all the time.

That's not fun. Yeah. You can't play video games and ignore her and have her bring you a sandwich. We can either watch him react to another woman or we can jump to Zones V3, the most useful relationship map in history.

My other favorite thing about this guy is how high on his own supply he is. Oh, yeah. We cannot watch all of this. No, we won't. It's 25 minutes long and it's just him explaining his pretty pictures. Last night, I did watch all of this. No, we won't. It's 25 minutes long. And it's just him explaining his pretty pictures. Last night, I did watch all of it.

What? Jacob. You are committed to this podcast. And I love it. Jacob. I'm late. His eyes are red from crying. You've got to tell us what you've learned after we watch a little bit of this.

Do you believe in it now? Uh, no. You're not a ho mathematician. You got your degree in ho mathematics. Yeah, from Hoverd. All right, let's jump in. Zones V3, the most useful relationship map in history. Historically, there's other relationship maps.

If you don't know me by now, I make diagrams to explain psychology and dating. As a part of my upcoming series on self-improvement called Self-Maximize, I have created a new version of zones here it is zones is of course my viral iconic relationship map that lays out what men are looking for from women and what women are looking for from men in romantic relationships as you can see the new version is much prettier and more fleshed out easier to read and easier to understand this it is easier to read easier to read and easier to understand as you can tell by all the quadrants i've had it there's three times the word count yeah easier to read here are the differences between the old and new versions the

old version uses these simple little drawings to demonstrate how men think about women and then other men plus five what the hell is what is this dnd ass like chart dude the thing i am sick of women always expecting is judging your looks and personality anyway here's my chart about every woman's personality combined oh okay so okay so what men looking for? They're looking for looks and personality. But then the minuses are other men and cabinet. I honestly, you know, we've dated. We've spent time with people here and there. I think every time I've climbed in the cabinet during the date,

there's been the judgmental. Every time someone I'm dating has seen the cabinet that I've elected to office, they've seen my treasurer. Chief of staff. My chief of staff. You know, if I stay around somebody's place, I'm just going to hop in the shower. Of course, I get in the cabinet.

I hide. I do not come back. Sometimes I'll go over to, you know, someone I'm seeing's place and they're building IKEA furniture. With six men. With six men. With six men. And then I throw my glass down as a distraction and I run away. Six men plus cabinet equals...

You're looking for the president. Yeah, you're looking for six men in his cabinet. He's got looks. He's got a personality. He's a keeper lady. All women want is a rich senator. I will say probably the first five minutes of this video is explaining the ways in which he's upgraded the graphics.

Which is why I think it's... Which is the reason... Which is why I actually wanted to watch this because him explaining how he's upgraded the graph shows how much he just wants to draw his little doodles yeah he's just having a fun like and that's why anastasia and i at some point he'll talk about how he uh changed it to be more boxy because he likes right angles that's cute of course it does the same for women who measure men along two axes instead of one galaxy if you're you're a woman, this is how much men like you. The cabinet galaxy.

They have to exist. This is how much women are attracted to you and how much they feel safe with you and supported by you. These broads. For lust and love. And these arrows showing that the good guy attachment is measured here and the bad boy attachment is measured here. Can you pause real quick. What is the ghost?

Oh, that means ghosting. She's going to ghost you if you're low on good guy and low on bad boy. She's going to suck you up at like Luigi's Mansion. She's going to suck you up. If you're high on good guy and high on bad boy, which does not seem possible, then you're Prince Charming. Dude, in what way is Prince Charming a bad boy he killed a dragon but if you're like if you're slightly less of a bad boy but still really high on good guy you're in the husband zone but if you're too

much of a good guy and not at all a bad boy then you're the friend and that's uh but they're wrong for uh shit sorry i need to make a second or third version of this um i just want to throw out we always talk about how people like this they don't have a sense of community they don't have women in their lives or to give them perspective on what people want outside of your assessment of what you want from them but people with no real connections outside of content consumption discord he doesn't know any men yeah there's no any real people so he has this graph saying this is what men want in order i know a lot of fucking people that don't want to get married asap don't just want keepers yeah that's

wrong i think that like we've talked a lot about how he's doing a disservice to women but he's also doing a disservice to men like men's also doing a disservice to men himself like men are more complex than he makes them out to be right and matt look how i love there is often it's like very it's an age-old thing it's like men are simple they just want sex and food and that's it yeah they want a cabinet maybe five other men they want five men in their cabinet well guess what what if you want 10 men in your cabinet? Preach. Preach, sister. And it's like, I mean, really what he wants is just one friend in his cabinet.

For men, I tried to show that lust exists here, but that love grows as we like you more. And that's pretty much the whole chart, which people have found helpful. The new version. I mean, the best I can get, don't tell anybody about this. Oh, dude, this is a guy that has had sex that happens for sure he really just wanted a rhyme with keeper yeah keeper sleeper or sweeper oh i see dude i see and then and then zero is the worst he'd ever go home with oh this is on the attractiveness scale and then apparently there's something that is negative three on the attractiveness scale. Bonus.

Barely matters. Right here. Where's that? Bonus. Barely matters. Conveniences. Possessions. That's probably true.

Origin. Like origin? Yeah. I'm from planet sector 496. Yeah. Well, you see she was bitten by a spider. Yeah. And then quirirk's cabinet.

What does that mean? What does cabinet mean? I don't get it. Bonus. Barely matters. Doesn't even matter if I have IKEA furniture. Wait, is he saying cabinet as in like it's the special things that you like that maybe other guys don't like? Oh, Quirk's. I don't know.

It's not as easy to read as he makes it out to seem. I could throw out maybe a real Babe Ruth on this one. I could totally be wrong. But it is a motif I've heard these freaks talk about before. There is like the trope of going home with a guy and you realize he doesn't have a bed frame and it's like a college type mindset of guys not taking care of themselves or being grown-ups or whatever maybe i feel like a very specific thing has happened where a girl made fun of him for not having a cabinet and he's like you know how they're always going on about these damn cabinets

oh women want is a cabinet. Okay, so here at the bottom here, he says, use this chart to figure out how people feel about you and what you can improve about yourself. Then select the available type of a relationship that works for you. So you're selecting like husband zone or situationship mid? Initiating mid relationship. Like all I deserve is to be a a sugar daddy like is that what he's saying fleshed out let's go over the details first of all i added text to explain how to use the

chart second of all i organized everything at 90 degree angles which are my favorite i've made sure to i'm I'm doing a ghost again because he's my favorite guy I organize things with 90 degree angles because it's my favorite not because it is it looks nice it's a spreadsheet yeah

it's easy to pause it's how most charts are in v2 he was using the bubble because they he thought we wanted that he didn't want it he didn't want it he wanted 90 degree angles he wanted 90 degree because there's his favorite they are rules that really had the same energy as like and then in the corner i drew captain america and if you flick through it he will throw his shield because he is my favorite avenger yeah all right it was a little bit sloppy and a lot of people didn't notice some details like how this is a speech bubble for

The what we let people know about and this is a thought bubble for what we keep secret So I left out here and I probably because the speech bubble was coming out of his eyes. Yeah Also all those things we say or don't say Right When you don't want it when you have a bad date you want to sweep right out of the rug and just think about it and never you think that you go never again whoopsie doopsie you know what people have never ever communicated to someone is that they are uh not interested in long-term relationship that's actually never happened true and also no one's

ever said yeah i'm not interested but actually is and is just saying it to pursue a relationship like oh yeah i i wouldn't mind just sleeping around, but actually I'm looking for love. I mean, that's another huge problem on this view of relationships is thinking that people aren't saying what they mean, that they're hiding something secret. And that's not how you do a healthy relationship. It's not how people work at all. Having an argument with your partner, and then like, I gotta get the chart. I mean, I agree that some people

don't tell you what they think, but that doesn't make for a healthy relationship. What makes for a healthy relationship is open communication and trusting each other that what they're telling you is what they mean. If they're saying, I want you to lift my chin up with a sword, then they do. But if they're saying, I don't like this when you lift my chin with a sword, they don't like it. You're lying to me.

I saw a video from someone I don't know. In a costume. And he drew a little woman who was looking at a ghost. What, do you think I'm dead? It looks like she wants to have sex with the ghost. Yeah, which I get. You know, there's a lot of people who've had sex with ghosts, allegedly. I like the idea of calling it that.

Dan Aykroyd. The fact that it's a ghost and it's called the Not People Zone does kind of suggest it's hell. This is where your spirit goes The not people hell You know it's like If it weren't so oversimplified Which is the issue It's like I think that it would be much better served

By just giving This advice you know what I mean But it's so It just doesn't I mean look at the stuff on the Right scale right There is so much crossover know what i mean like but it's it's so it just doesn't i mean look at the stuff on the right scale right there is so much crossover with the scale how is competence different from presentability because it includes social skills likability and reputation yeah is that outside the realm of confidence competence smarts how is income not part of investment? What the fuck are you talking about, man?

This is deranged. I want a guy that's stoic, but not one that is like supportive. I want a guy with muscles, which is also just like, that's such a simplistic thing about, you know, women, right? Like obviously not everything applies to everyone,

but imagine if you took the wrong things from this and you were like i need to become powerful strong get taller i guess because height is on here hygiene hygiene yeah actually i'd say that's on my list probably on every human yeah for everyone that's like a that i mean pheromones shut up it's pheromones oh my god chemistry dude pheromones shut up it's pheromones oh my god you fucking loser dude pheromones i i just yeah i i get what he's trying to do i wonder if like i mean it's it also sounds like he thinks he's helping that's a lot of these guys that's what's sad about it yeah i think there's always going to be two contingents

of people that connect with this i've been getting big in fd signifier lately i really slept on that but on your second channel you did a video about how the the myth that the youtube algorithm and tiktok by extension are putting people into the alt-right ideological pipeline is not true. What's happening is they're already ideologically there through their dad, through their experiences, through the culture or whatever. There's pressure to be like that. And then terminology and politics is informed because they don't know. You find something like this and you're like, oh, there's all these words these terms jordan peterson seems like a scientist i'll listen to him

i'll parrot his bullshit statistics and there is like that's one side of the camp of people that were already predisposed and then i would assume honestly and these people i feel the most sorry for if you you may have friends of the sex you're attracted to or gender you're attracted to you may have a larger community but if you struggle socially in general and you're bad at reading cues which was a common thing yeah then not a lot of people are giving you charts from the more reasonable side like we couldn't make a chart because we think that's insane. Yeah. But, ah, shit, man. If I was struggling to connect to people or, like, especially the people I was attracted to or make friends or something like that, and then somebody gave me rules. Yeah.

Right. What a relief. I'd probably be into it. I'd probably. Yeah, yeah. I mean, yeah, I want rules and guidelines to live by because, God, wouldn't life be so much easier if someone just told me if you do this you receive this but that's not how life works instead you're quarrelsome if you kill other desert what are you called desert people

if you kill the other desert guy then you get the woman right but she likes that but actually she doesn't like that and she's lying but she's telling the truth when she gets a sword hell yeah brother steam's coming out of his ears while he draws a picture of thor or whatever the the funniest thing is um it's it is actually simple it's not easy but it is actually simple and the simplest thing is communicate understand yourself and who you are and communicate that to the other person and then they do the same to you and that is relationships and you see if it works and if it doesn't work you go your separate ways and find someone it does work with and it's it is very. It's not easy to do because obviously...

Yeah, I like the phrasing of simple, not easy. You didn't include how cabinets work into this, but... No, yeah, I forgot that part. And right angles, boxes. Have you tried building an IKEA cabinet? That is not simple or easy, let me tell you. Jarvis helped me when we were living in San Francisco and I moved into a new place.

I actually was dating a guy at the time and I called him and I said, hey, I'm building this Ikea cabinet, but it really requires two people. Will you come over and help me? And he said, no. I said, are you busy? And he was like, no, I just don't want to. That's the thing. So then I called Jarvis and said, hey, are you busy right now? Because Jarvis lived like a street down from me. and he came over and helped me build a cabinet i didn't even know that

happened but you know what that is that's the orange peel theory which we will be talking about on patreon.com sad boys you couldn't have set us up better oh my god what are the all-time best transitions um uh uh thank you so much anastasia for joining us oh thank you what a what a treat Oh my god, what are the all-time best transitions? Thank you so much, Anastasia, for joining us. What a treat to have you not only behind the camera, but in front of the camera this time. It's my treat, really. And we end every episode of Sad Boys with a particular phrase. How about we

say the beginning part, and you know what to say. We love you. And we're sorry. Bye! know what to say we love you and we're sorry if you put this orange for me because i can't do it with my nails he's he's my soul mate mate he can barely peel it what's going on what is wrong with that orange that's the real theory only only the true king of King Arthur's court can give you the orange.

Myself or Lancelot are your true. The Jarvis wine that I got as a joke. Whoa!