Sad Boyz - Mark Zuckerberg's Glow Up

Episode Date: August 16, 2024

Check out our 70+ bonus eps on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Patreon⁠ Join our ⁠Discord⁠ P.O. Box ▸ 3108 Glendale Blvd Suite 540, Los Angeles CA 90039 [e-mail] Play Sad Boyz Bingo ��️ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Watch us on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠youtube⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⏯️ Our links 🎶outro music🎶 @prod.typhoon & @ysoblank 00:00:00 Hyperfocus (It's Still MTG) 00:17:37 Hypothetical Scenario 00:33:38 Gerbil Bandit 00:53:33 Mark Zuckerberg's Glow Up 01:14:24 Sad Boyz Nightz This episode was recorded on July 24, 2024 Produced & Edited By Jacob Skoda

Welcome to Sad Boys, a podcast about feelings and other things also. I'm Jarvis. I'm Jordan. I did think I said the name first for a second, and that's not the case. You do say I'm Jarvis before I say I'm Jordan. Yeah, I just kind of ramble out those words. They just stumble out of my mouth like the gates coming open, like a dog waiting to eat his meal. The valve wobbling right before you release it burns my face yeah it's starting to like unscrew itself and what uh grim appears for a boss fight no guys seriously no come on welcome to um uh gamer game mode gamer game one of the most one of the longest and most annoying shows about like how everything you like is bad. I do feel, right?

I do feel like we need to address something, which is that this show, it's, you know, we have seasons in the world. Like, Earth has seasons, but Sad Boys also has seasons, not in the traditional media sense, but in the sense of, like, what is your hyper-focus right now? And that tends to dominate a lot of the water cooler talk in the sense of like what is your hyper focus right now and that tends to dominate a lot of the water cooler talk in the podcast yeah what season of the anime is it oh luffy has a new scar what arc is it yeah yeah um oh there's a time skip now they're talking about magic the gathering yeah that makes sense uh usopp's jacked and i will not stop because currently the magic

grind has continued uh bloomboro has just released lots of critters are running around the plan is complete regarding jarvis what i'm gonna do i'm sorry talk about magic oh no sorry i just uh so i just got a chance to do uh do a pre-release last one um one last pre-release and then i personally am really looking forward to the future and i'm making lots of plans that i can't wait to enact time to fill up that gcal bell i'll be popping my alibi on there too you'll be popping your alibi yeah it says away you can't that's not gonna be enough august 1st through 3rd is it just says elsewhere the cops are like well jordan says he's away on his calendar so i guess we have to look elsewhere i love i've always loved the idea of going uh

being on the stand like one of those you know smug mob guys in a movie being like i ain't saying nothing but i have nothing to go on i'm just movie. Right. Like, I ain't saying nothing, but I have nothing to go on. I'm just going, no bullshit. No way. Yeah. I ain't saying nothing, but then everything you say is like an admission of,

I ain't saying nothing. Except where I was. Except for where I was and what I did. With this gun. Well, everybody's like, he gets down. No,

wait, it's not. No, it's not. It's not loaded anymore. I shot my last bullet at the guy. I was like, I'll put it's not. No, it's not. Oh, it is loaded. It's not loaded anymore. I shot my last bullet at the guy. I put it on safety. The button comes off.

Oh, man. Oh. I wanted to show it on camera. Jarvis is very sweet to me, but he did it sincerely and didn't show it on camera, but I wanted. Yeah, that's kind of my whole thing is I'm a. Jarvis gave me two commando boxes. Yeah.

And Assassin's Creed boosters. Yeah. So, Wizard of the Coast, if you're watching this, please send me product. This is not even close to sponsored, but it could be. And that's not a joke. We would really appreciate it. Also outs to the uh i forgot the listener who sent in to pauper decks oh yeah that was sick

you and katie even playing up a storm you gotta play um no thanks i think so one thing that's been really fun for me is the concept of a cube um so this is not about magic right so there's just become three-dimensional yeah what i really like about cubes is how many sides i love going forward how many sizes a cube has tons think about it think about the colors of a Rubik's Cube. Okay. One, two, three, four. Stop me when? Five, six. No, no, no. You stop yourself is the thing. One.

You started over from one. Seven. You're jumping all around. Six. Anastasia's giving me six. Yeah, Anastasia, you are going to be reprimanded for that. Your license is going to be revoked. I was mouthing this many.

Oh, it's based on a d6 uh yeah the the cheat code would be to think about a d6 which is a cube and how many sides that has okay i don't know yeah i like the nfl how about that how about that first hyper focus you're talking more about numbers and cubes i'm talking about like being strong real quick though i will uh get this over with as soon as possible so a cube is a term for um you know if you do a draft and we haven't done a draft yet but we will soon maybe as of the viewers seeing this we'll have done one for bloom bro um but the concept of a draft is like you have a pack and you take a card out of and you pass it around right so a cube is like you make your own custom packs you make your own

custom set of cards based on the power level and the synergies and the combinations of cards that you want to be yes set and then you can play that with your friends so some people play oh you create for the whole squad yeah Is that accurate? Yeah, for the whole squad. So then you do your own drafts. And it's also a more economical way to draft because now you can reuse, recycle, so to speak. You can give the cardboard away, recycle that, start a whole new game,

accidentally drop a foil rare in there, $7,000. I was thinking, and that's the kind of thing where um we could get uh we could get a cube together and then like it wouldn't even cost money to like do the events and then everybody can get more familiar with the cards and i'm just trying to get all my friends into the game everybody's interested by the way and us making yet people are content content. I think people are interested. We've had some comments of people saying, yeah, do an MTG episode. Shut up.

I'm also... Shut up, people saying that. I do whatever I want, okay? No, I'll do it. I also wanted to give an update on my Fortnite escapades with our good friend Chad Chad. You're dropping into Tomato Town. Yeah, I'm dropping into Tomato Town. i did get a few victory royales but then most recently they've

started putting me who's now level like 14 or something nothing high uh i'm now playing against level 360 people those levels are um per season by the way so those people have been grinding the shit out of the season legends there's so many mechanics it's fun it's fun i just don't have a sound when you don't know you get cooked you when you die i usually i'm yelling at chad chad to res me the sound is helping i'm like i'm like get me to the fucking uh ambulance thing that you can bring me back to life what are you waiting for what can i make a wall what can i wait this is no bill zero bill what i want to get a cool skin because right now i am this uh every time i play a game it like randomizes that i'm like a white woman or a black man or or whatever ah the two the two wolves the two wolves two wolves of inside of me a karen and

lebron can you still get like previous seasons games you could be vegeta okay so i asked chad Two wolves. Two wolves up inside of me. A Karen and a LeBron. Can you still get like previous seasons games? You could be Vegeta. Okay. So I asked Chad Chad about this. And who's my resident like Fortnite expert? She said, who's this? And she said, why are you calling me?

I told you not to call this number. Help her down. Help her down. And she's like, we're not playing the game. And I'm like, says you. The game never stops for me. You die in the game, game you die in real life i wanted to get a cool skin apparently sometimes i come back in the shop haven't done the battle pass yet because i'm like i really need to get magic into a a more a maintenance state right now i'm in such a hyper focus completely absorbing everything like

last night after i got home from a shoot, we did some meetings, we had some work, we did a big to-do list of stuff. And then I sat in bed and I watched four hours of shout out Luis Scott Vargas, of him doing arena cube drafting. Cause I'm just still learning about so many of the, there's so many cards in Magic's history. I'm just like learning cards that I'm like, Oh, the nice thing about cubes is that they'll put famous powerful cards in the cubes uh like on arena and i'll be like oh i've heard this card's name so many times but i've never played with snapcaster and now i'm actually getting to mess with it or there's a card uh that when you play it it shuffles the power nine into your deck on arena.

And the power nine is like the moxes and black Lotus and like all those things. And I also downloaded magic online, which is the old magic online client. That's the one I might, cause that's what I used to play. I kind of want to do that. Oh, it's so old. It's windows only, but it is so old. You, you kind of want to, you kind of want to inside of you as two wolves you need arena and boy yeah you need arena and you need uh uh magic online because magic online has vintage cube and i want to learn that too because i just want to play with

all these old cards because in the vintage cube on magic online you can get you can play with black lotus and stuff and i i would love to i think we maybe are one in the same or maybe this is just typically how hyper focus goes in general but that i think what you're describing is this is still the sponge soaking up phase yeah it's like the i've got a vacuum before i mop because i want to get the floor perfectly clean but if i do it now i'm almost like locking in the dirt that's there yeah i'm gonna get these bad habits because i don don't know, like, I gotta play each. I need to play Eldrazi before I go up against Eldrazi. Well, that's the thing.

It's like, I played a lot of Modern Horizons 3, and Image 3 was the first time that I sat down and I learned what every single card did. And in that limited format, I was like, this domain, I understand. I have not yet generalized my game sense. I have a lot of experience with other card games, so it's like I have an above-average game sense for card games.

But in Magic specifically, evaluating a whole new set of cards with Bloomboro, I'm like, I can in general tell what's good and what's bad. But when it comes to a pre-release event where you have one of these boxes and you open up six packs and you look at all the packs and you need to build a deck under a time limit and then play that against people. It's a lot of reading.

It's a lot of like, I need all of the cards to just sort of float and synergize and put everything together. It's a lot of reading in order, random order. In random order. And I need to know before,

but if I know what every card does, that makes my life easier. So right now I'm studying up on Bloomboro because we're going to have another month to six weeks of like Bloomboro limited before like Dusk Morn season starts. I mean, we both, we both had our hyper focuses, but I tend to get like very solitary ones. And I, or like, uh, un-shareable ones a little bit like i get really really really obsessed with i'm like i want to learn to make like chip tune and then i do yeah yeah you you're like you'll like make beats and i'll and i'll be like you'll like share some stuff with me that you're making

this is we're talking six years ago yeah it's been a hot minute but yeah that's good because i don't use anything for anything at this point and And I'll go like, my indulgent used to be like, what if I bought like an orchestral kit for $250? And then that was my little indulgence. Play with it for two months and then do nothing with any music because I never finish any tracks. I just like learning everything. And then it's kind of solitary. But this one in particular, I am so excited to see people

because I know I'm going to get a friend. You know, we're on the friendship. I know I'm on the friendship grind. Yeah. But it just, this is almost like announcing or like posting like, hey guys, I haven't mentioned this before. I'm actually Catholic. And then all your Catholic friends are like, you should come to our church. That's so sick.

That's exactly what it feels like. Because like, for example, this upcoming weekend is a pre-release weekend, the official pre-release weekend. I did some early sponsored stuff. You've been gooning before the release. Yeah, so I've had some early access. But this weekend, I don't even, I'm like going to a commander night at a friend's house and playing some Bloomboro Sealed on Saturday. Then Sunday in the morning, I'm recording Arabs to a commander night at a friend's house and playing some Bloomberg sealed on Saturday. Then Sunday in the morning, I'm recording a raps.

Oh, nice. And then, uh, uh, with, with, with the gang and from outside,

you're not on the show. Yeah. My camcorder. Then I'm going to a pre-release, a public pre-release with Brian and Karen and you, if you're available to 2 PM on Sunday. Yeah. Um, uh, and Tina and then Karen and you, if you're available, 2 p.m. on Sunday. Yeah.

And Tina. And then me and Tina are going to a private pre-release after that. So it's just like a full weekend. I'm like canceling dates. This is how I picture like being in succession, except instead of like a wine social where you kill a homeless person, it's like doing a pre-release bag. People ask me like or how

do you get good at anything this is how i am with everything in my life that i find interest in yeah because i don't think it is the right answer for everyone it's not the right answer for anyone it is like just yeah how i like how did you get into computer science well i just like went overboard swallowing memory chips yeah i swallowed my computer like constantly and then those three holes in the back of your head and spine like like in the Matrix, and they are just uploading information. But what I want to get to is I want to... I feel like I'm playing catch-up, which is fun for me because I have so many friends who know so much. And I get to connect with them.

Like, I have so many hometown friends. That's up a lot. And things like that. Like, when we go to the wedding, a lot of my friends have been playing Magic for years. So I'm going to bring Dex, of course. Oh, I playing Magic for years, so I'm going to bring decks, of course. Oh, I'll be bringing them. It would actually be fun to bring a cube. If I could put together a cube and then we could do a draft.

But that type of thing... You don't have it in you. I'll never do it. I was kidding. No, please. But I love that aspect. It feels like I'm studying. I'm scratching my brain.

I'm filling my brain full of useless information that has application. And then it makes me funnier if I'm in... I've filmed some magic content recently and I'm able to riff and do improv bits where I'm bringing in lore and things like that. It's like doing improv warm-up games to get good at a harold kind of thing yeah like i was playing with uh i was playing

with a group and some people were like targeting me uh because i was playing with artifacts and i was like if he's commander is urza chief artificer have you heard the lore of magic have you heard of the brothers war urza versus mishra i was like i'm like wow i'm like i truly am just learning all this stuff and that's so fun for me um but yeah so that's the magic moment this magic moment and then now we can move on to other stuff about i feel like yeah i don't know if i'm allowed to say this yet uh so i'm going to double check before i do but i had the pleasure of recording with Kibler, recorder commander at home with Brian and Olivia. Had a wonderful time. Also just had a privilege of recording Command Zone Game Nights with Josh Lee Kwai and Jimmy

Wong and those are potentially out or at least announced those those some of those are going to come out soon some of them are going to come out in a long time but uh i just wanted to say like what an amazing community and and just like those i just had the biggest blast it was like such a cool little fun thing that i got to do and i'm like very grateful for opportunities like that even though they're like you know it's like the type of thing that doesn't like directly benefit my career, but just enriches my existence. It's almost like the reverse, right? The career benefits getting to know people like this. Yeah, exactly.

It's just like so many, I've met so many great people just through hyper focusing on magic the past couple of months. So, shout out. And we've gotten closer to people we already knew as well. Yeah. I didn't meet Emily until I had already gotten back in and I know she was also relatively new. So we. Yeah, she was relatively new. And you came over this last weekend.

Whenever people came over for drinks, we chatted like the whole night. It was like, so I'm just learning Commander as well. Yeah, no, it's so fun. Yeah. Also shout out to Ify and Emily and Brian and Karen. Just everybody's. Kamala. I mean, shout out to Sam.

Sam, who recently left H3 and joined Cutie Cinderella. That's right. I took Sam and Ian to their first magic pre-release So I'm getting them into it as well. They were previously into it, but the first period so they had Ian had played before and had a commander deck. It's his commander neck He left at my house and is still sitting upstairs, but more But Sam was still getting into the game and I threw her into the deep end and made her play a draft. Oh,

I didn't know that she was so inexperienced. Sam is someone that I'm going to met. We've gotten along very well, but now it feels like I want to, this magic is the perfect format. Yeah. It's a great icebreaker. Come be my friend now.

Exactly. Um, but yeah, just everybody's been wonderful. I have a hypothetical for you yeah please i have uh as we've a newish topic a few weeks ago would have been the first one who knows we've done one in between but this is uh jordan's important questions play the theme candle in the wind if i could change the world what would you do what would you do

in this incredibly hyper specific scenario oh I love that we need to isolate that Frank can take that and turn it into a little track isolate it double it flip it and reverse it remove it put it back in don't send it different voice different man different song

new lyrics now it's now it's brat again what's your favorite place to take a little walk take a peaceful walk favorite place to take a peaceful walk well i do love uh taking a stroll down to my favorite breakfast spot near in the hood in my hood um i uh i i take this walk maybe at least once a week play a little Pokemon Go listen to a little music walk a little dipper

you know a tiny tiny tiny little version just a tiny little version of dipper with my tiny little headphones it takes a really long time to get there I have a hit clicks it's like one of those old things where you'd put in a little cartridge

and it would play 30 seconds of baby one more time one of those pens that records audio live yeah yeah Things where you'd put in a little cartridge and it would play 30 seconds of Baby one more time. One of those pens that records audio live. Yeah, yeah. Okay, you're scrolling down to your favorite cafe. Can't wait to get a little caffeine in you. Slow morning, but it's a decaf.

You're on Vyvanse, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You got it. You got it. You know me. Taking the delightful scroll. It's hot, not boiling hot, but it is nice. You know, maybe a dry. I thought you were going to say it's hot, not boy summer, but it's hot. boy summer but it's hot chet hank's summer okay

this one's chet brett you're strolling down having a lovely time really positive day you end up striking a very brief conversation with someone who's also going to the same cafe oh they come along perfectly friendly they're also playing pokemon go it's like no way what a funny thing that's crazy they're not going to turn into like a frog or something i that's not how these questions work the that's a good idea kind of okay don't don't run with that esoteric little odd that's not i don't do that kind of thing so they walk along catch a fly no you're walking along and uh they happen they're scanning through recently caught pokemon they have a legendary you have in fact been in the market for a shiny you both have enough stardust to run it through it's

a community weekend so you get two special trades i yeah no i i need an i need a shiny necrozma maybe i can go lucky exactly you obviously can't have a lucky trade yet but you do become friends has the two uh lucky uh two special trades you want to do you mutually also in fact you only have one but he accepts like a a vanilla ditto just to be. Oh, they're just being a homie. That's cute. Yeah.

Yeah. Wow. Actually, they have a collection goal to get, to evolve correctly for the season. So you made that trade. Cool. You both say at the same time by accident,

uh, thanks for the trade. Thanks for the trade. That's fun, right? Yeah. Let's try it. One, two, three. Thanks for the trade. Thanks for the trade. That's fun, right? Yeah, let's try it. One, two, three. Thanks for the trade. Oh.

Then you both laugh the same way. Point at each other. And then you both say, hey, you owe me a Coke. Jinx. Wild jinx. And you go that far. And he goes, once again, you go. Not the Pokemon.

Just Josh. You owe me a Coke. Every single part is aligned. Right. I better get going. And he goes, once again, you go- Not the Pokemon. Just Josh. You owe me a Coke. Every single part is aligned. Right. I better get going. I'll see you around. I'll text you.

Have an exchange numbers. Oh. You leave. You did exchange names. First name's on me. Okay. The name's Scramble. Scramble?

Scramble strolls away. And they're lightly breezy. So again, it's not too hot. It's a nice-ass day, what can I say? Nice-ass day. It's non-germane to the question whatsoever. Strolls away, and you see them stop not super far away, because it's a long, straight street, and you do see the motor at Uber and go away. I've done that.

You don't hear from them for really three, four weeks. Okay. Yeah, I didn't expect it. We didn't happen to exchange information we're friends on pokemon go they have not been sending or accepting gifts for me okay that's fine you take another stroll you're out and about you see them further down the street they start walking deliberately very quickly moving their eyes away they've already got their coffee and they're strolling. When I see them? You see them coming out of the cafe while you're on your way there.

Different day, three weeks later. Three weeks later, okay. Another month goes by. Outside the cafe, you are officially served papers demanding recompense of one Coke. You are being sued for not delivering a Coke that you promised you would provide. The papers are extremely explicit in detail. sued for not delivering a Coke that you promised you would provide. The

papers are extremely explicit in detail. There's 45 pages and they do clarify that it cannot be a Pepsi, it cannot be a flavored Coke, it has to be a vanilla Coke, it cannot be diet. It has to be a vanilla Coke, but not a vanilla Coke. It has to be a vanilla Coke, but not a vanilla Coke. It uses the term vanilla Coke, non-capital V. Non-capital V, yeah.

Also known as generic Coke. There's a lot of clarification. The letterhead at the top is the Coca-Cola logo. Non-capital V. Non-capital V, yeah. Also known as generic Coke. There's a lot of clarification. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The letterhead at the top is the Coca-Cola logo. Is this from the Coca-Cola company? It is from Scramble. Scramble CEO of Coca-Cola? Mr. Scramble Coke.

Oh, no. Wait, Scramble, but then when you scramble the letters, it spells like I am Lord Voldemort or whatever. Yeah, it's from Tom. Marv like I am Lord Voldemort. Tom. Marvolo. KOC. Mark Coaklow. Whatever.

You see this concerning news. What do you do? I try to get in contact with him. I've got the coke. I'm good for it. I just wanted a friend. The contact information is only available for the legal team. I've reached out to the legal team. high uh automatic response i'm out of office well that is just i don't know if you've ever interacted with lawyers that is just genuinely 100%

the lawyers if you email a lawyer they're like sorry i'm out of office monday through friday saturday through sunday it's fucking crazy when do work? I will send a reply all to the person who just emailed me. Emailed me. And I get an auto reply that they're out of office. How did you just email me? Where did you go? Where did you go? It's like if someone called you, you answered in their voicemail.

Oh. And I start talking and it's like one of those voicemails where they're like hey how's it going not just josh and i'm not here right now uh psych psych seriously no that's just a little bit of actual pain from our our uh lawyers that we have to deal with they're the best but it is every day uh but anyway yeah that uh you're able to reach out to the legal information they tell you this is taking place in August of this year. They say they are back from being out of office. The entire team is on a team building exercise until January of 2025.

They do have to build the team from scratch. It's a big ass team. It's a big team. Brick by boring brick. So there is no way to access them. And when you go to the cafe, you haven't seen them for a while. I want to go into the cafe. I want to be like, hey, have you seen this man?

And then I just show the photos I found. You receive initial mail demanding that you transfer the shiny Necrozma. No. Can you do that? Well, with the new Pokemon Go. Yeah, with the new TLS, I guess you can do whatever you want. They are insane. Delete me, I guess.

They do not appear at the cafe for months. It's now November. You see them sat down on their laptop typing away, listening on those Beats headphones

that artificially boost the bass. Right. They're like, their headphones are vibrating off of their head. Yeah, it's really loud and you can see on their Apple Watch it's saying audio warning.

Yeah, it says audio warning and it's like, stand up, stand up drink some water do something please this is bad for you you walk up to them you're pissed off you see on their phone they're listening to the podcast and they're they're loving it they're laughing it's you saying like a joke and they're cracking up i need to start talking about this issue on the podcast so that i can reach them what do you do in that moment? You see them. They don't see you. I say, hey, what's going on? Like the song. You both sing in unison. You kiss. I say, hey.

Oh, okay. What's going on? It sounds like you're not going to be able to resolve this thing until January. They stand up. They pick up the phone. They're good. They pick up the phone. They put it to the headphone.

Hey. Credits play. We're good. They pick up the phone. They put it to the headphone. Credits play. You're jailed. Death penalty. This happened in Texas. I, God, all I wanted was a friend.

In the UK, we used to say snap, not ditto, or buy me a Coke or whatever. Oh. Is it ditto? Am I remembering that correctly? Jinx.

Jinx. Ditto, Jinx and ditto, both Pokemon. pokemon purple now yeah um i recently learned that at least some people in the uk call french toast eggy bread yeah eggy bread i there's a it's a little different i'll say we are we're too xenophobic towards the french to use exactly so is eggy bread more on the savory side than the sweet side yes though often you'll you'll put enough syrup or something on it to kind of get it there i would say it's it is a little more umami and it's definitely more egg than bread oh and sometimes

you don't i mean i feel like you don't you never toast it but the bread is it's definitely a lot soggier okay and and sometimes people do make french toast that way i don't prefer it but the bread is it's definitely a lot soggier okay and and sometimes people do make french toast that way i don't prefer it but i do i do love the combo of egg and bread there's many ways to do it there's like the uh uh hole one egg in a hole wow i really was like i can't remember the one where there's the egg in the hole is this a soft-boiled egg and toy soldiers i think that's what we call it Bread soldiers or something Yes you do call it that

I have to say If you hate the French so much Why do you call it aubergine And courgette I never once said I hate the French Aubergine is eggplant And courgette is like zucchini In my defense I never said I hated the French

I gave them constructive feedback That they suck and I hate them. Very constructive. It is funny that they, I mean, they are kind of based at doing protests and shitting in rivers. I learned about Aubergine from a Panic at the Disco song. And tell me why were those 18-year-olds from Vegas... It's counterculture. And tell me why were those 18 year olds from Vegas. It's counterculture. They talked like they were like middle-aged European men.

They were like quoting books and stuff that I'd never read. What happened to aluminum to become aluminum? What did you do to that? How did that happen? I think we just pronounced it normal. Yeah, I think we did it good. Yeah, we did it good yeah we did it good i'm sick of this oh that's very funny how dare you why did the british call aluminum aluminum and then and then wait can you google where is panic of the disco from because uh i think they may actually be from california oh man i'm a genius you just don't

miss we're trying to find them when we go to Magic Con we don't need to find him anymore oh though if I were to go back in time and I was only allowed to do inconsequential things

I would prevent Ryan Ross from leaving the band the real ones no and I'd also stop Brandon Urie from being weird

hey stop yeah cut that out hey this is not gonna end well for you buddy yeah that thing i want to get one of those like really distressing dog clickers yeah oh man the old panic i miss it so much but at least i saw a fall boy panic still uh they basically like who was it the story uh fall away so panic is like technically still around but it's just brendan uri and then brendan uri i think got canceled for uh some bad behavior i don't actually fully know what it was but he definitely disappeared but you will be preventing it with the power of time travel uh yeah and then um uh i think it was like inappropriate behavior towards fans or something like that.

I hate that that would be my assumption. It's so often, right? You know, there's a weird. Oh, yeah. Towards minors. Early 2000s, kind of like emo. Allegedly, by the way, I don't know. But, you know, don't sue me.

The early 2000s like emo hardcore scene for some reason has like an alarming number of creeps in it yeah well i do feel like most scenes i feel like there's just an alarming number of people who are creeps that's right yeah that's what i was thinking i mean it's and also like it people say the same thing about like oh like there's certain types of youtubers or there's thing about like, oh, like there's certain types of YouTubers or there's certain types of streamers or like there's certain sub genres of music and so on and so on.

And really just all it is, is like once the demographic meets the powerful creator or person in power. It's power. It's like how there's like a disproportional amount in the army or banks or large corporations. It's like as soon as there are people that are so disproportionately more powerful than the employees or fans or groupies or whatever, that's kind of when it starts happening because there's just a concerning hit rate.

It's like, dude, fucking fighting game community. It just constantly happens. Oh, yeah. It's like this is supposed to be the most like kind fun, insular, we're all homies, whatever. Ugh. This convention center smells terrible. Yeah. Shout out to Evo.

Biggest Evo ever. Oh, yeah, dude. Did you see the, I mean, it's a little bit past now when this is coming out, but did you see the MK1, the Mortal Kombat 1 final? I did not. Oh, wait. the MK1 the Mortal Kombat 1 final I did not oh wait Google Jacob can you Google

MK1 EVO final shout out to FT Signify by the way got I think in the mid 200s yeah for a second well really

yeah that's sick and you can click on the first one I take one you take one we're not coming back big old jump in for the fuck classic cage shit counter on the first one. Yeah. Classic Cage shit.

Classic Cage shit. Counter. Cage counter. So this is grand finals. They're 2-2. Nicholas can get the reset. Both got Chameleon on the back. Johnny Cage mirror.

Ooh, full star meter. Nothing there. Stand four into glaive. Sonic could get crazy here. Got the meter now and the katana to back it up. Oh, classic cage shit. Classic cage shit. Fatal blow.

Oh, no, he doesn't have fatal blow. Oh. Oh. Reset or tournament is an overshadow. From the top row. Sonic Fox one hit away. One hit away. Could recover some health. Has the fatal blow.

Fatal blow upcoming. Oh, maybe not. Wow, didn't even need it. Yeah. So, people were talking about this because, like, Sonic Fox was like, What the fuck happened there? No health. And then just, like, without fear is just, like, approaching.

Like, if you look at, like, Sonic Fox's approach here. I mean, he's the best 2D fighting player in history. I think popular opinion is Sonic Fox is one of the greatest fighting game players of all time. Most versatile ever. And people are like, oh, they're only good at, what is it, NRS? What's the name of the developer for the combat games? Netherrealm, yeah. Netherrealm Studios.

Oh, yeah. So that is NRS. People are like, oh, they're only good at NRS, but they're good at everything. They're very good at Street Fighter. Also, every MK requires a ton of research. They are very good at stuffS but they're like good at everything. They're very good at Street Fighter. Also every MK requires like a ton of research. They are very good. Just the goat. Also yeah the whole Tekken tournament

was very very sick. Shout out to FD that was really cool. They posted on YouTube community. Think about it. We gotta get FD on at some point. Dude I would love that. Brother I was on such an FD gig and then you turned up in a video, and it genuinely distressed me. Oh, I forgot that happened.

Yeah. It was the, like, what rapper is this or something like that? It was, like, an obscure rapper that... It was the one that paints their face like silver. It was that video, I think. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's a goodie. FD Signifier.

You don't need that. Did I come off like I knew things about hip-hop in that video? I can't remember. I remember FD Signifier was like, you know, I've got a fun idea for a video. I mute it when you talk. Oh, my God. Oh, okay.

That's fine. I was like, who is that? Why am I not looking at the left side of his face? What the fuck? Yeah, that's so weird. Where's his legs? They're uncrossed. We gotta watch Drupal Bandit.

It's just sitting on the board. It's just sitting on the board. Jacob, who put this here? Was it Jacob? The intern sent it to me. Alleged Petland burglar arrested with gerbil in his pants. Gerbils? Richard Gere. He's wearing

cheetah print like it's camouflage. Oh, is that what that is? I don't know what that is. It's kind of triggered by trictophobia. Yeah, this is really hard to parse. A brazen intruder has forced his way into a pet store, smashing windows. Do you think they're going to make any pet puns? I know the news likes to do this.

A brazen intruder, that felt like an opportunity for something. I don't know. A wild. You want me to coke? No. Soon. Sorry. And releasing animals from their cages.

Okay, not a pun, just a description of events. As the animals run loose in the parking lot near Columbus, Ohio, cops desperately try to round them up, even the birds. I just don't know that cops are going to be particularly good at rounding up animals. This is another one of those situations where part of the reason there's so many issues with cops

is they're put in situations that they're not trained for. Yeah, it is almost like every conceiver. What about animal control? Yeah, don't dog catchers exist? Yeah. Dog the bounty hunter. That's what he does, right? That's's who we need it's bounty the dog does he kill people what is his deal dead or alive

they call him a bounty hunter and i'm like we've got a uh someone that didn't turn up to their probation appointment dead or alive i think bounty hunting is actually like much more boring than it appears well i'll tell you who calls themselves bounty hunters is tech recruiters they they're like i'm a bounty hunter i'm looking for highly skilled individuals headhunter isn't even any better oh headhunter yeah they do call themselves headhunters not bounty hunters i i conflated the two terms well guys you remember django fat yeah i was like i'm going to it's me i'm jango fit i'm going to i can't remember the clone wars very well something you did something like this i'm going to find someone with three

to five years of experience in microsoft excel i don't i don't really know what his voice sounds like but i wanted to keep the joke on do you have any path on experience All bounty hunters do is if someone posts bail to get out of jail and then they run away, they go to get them and bring them back to jail. Why do they do that? They should do this.

It is such an old-fashioned system. Is it like a private job oh that's crazy well because they tend to get a license to loan out money oh for bail god the system is so fucked hey dog or what are you going to shoot and kill me i'm going to leave so were they doing citizens arrest or what essentially yeah that's wild i's wild. I citizen arrest you, dog. Yeah.

For being weird. In reverse, actually. For having a mullet. Yeah. For being annoying. Dog, get a real name. I'm Person. Guy Person.

No, okay. So this looks like a puppy. This looks like a puppy. And I'm just nervous that this officer who's not trained in animal control is going to hurt the puppy. I know it's just because they're always, it's just what body cams look like, but whenever I see this kind of angle, like a guy's arm outstretched,

I think it's like a Russian parkour video. Oh. Wearing a GoPro. I feel like the ones that I see on my feed do not end well, so that's why I always... They're not on rooftops. Yeah, okay, let's see. Rest it. Less than a mile away from the pet store, well so that's what i always they're not on rooftops yeah okay let's see rest it less than

a mile away from the pet store cops say they located the suspect sleeping on a bench his name is no it's not you were lying that's it's eggy bread located the suspect sleeping on a bench. His name is Matthew Pancake. Come on. Pancake is really his last name. And here's something weird. He was wearing a leopard print one. Oh, it wasn't leopard print onesie.

Mr. Pancake, you're under arrest. No way. Calm down. Why did they do it like that? That's like it felt scripted. Mr. Pancake. You're under arrest Bojack Horse Yeah, he's a toucan Dave why do cops love doing that? They just love like yanking you around the fucking like i'm not resisting bro i

hope it's him i'm sleeping on the fucking bench i'm not that i'm defending his thing but i'm like this seems like an excessive also we landed on his ass he's got he's got dribbles in his pants be careful yes they're gonna be a pancake also can we back up there's a comedian named sam pancake and that's his real last name can we change it Can we just back up to when the guy was in the pet store? He was next to the hermit crabs. So to quote Demetri Martin, more like mingling crabs now. Cheers to that.

Cheers to that. No, seriously, cheers to that. Yeah. Psych. Hey, I'm... I'm never one to try to steal a joke, so I'm going to quote... Okay, this guy's name is Les Trent.

Can I get more Trent? It's a river. It's Littren. Littren. Littren. Yeah, someone's been shitting in him. It's the river that the Olympians will be swimming in. Oh, God.

What is with that? Change the river. Do a different river, Paris. Nope. Nope. He wins. Nope. There's only one.

His name is Matthew Pancake. His name is Matthew Pancake. His name is Matthew Pancake. I just love the tone, the news reporter tone. The perpetrator's name was Matthew Pancake. Yes, that is his real name. And then, Mr. Pancake, you're under freeze. Flip. Wait, can we back up

to mister like why did they do it like that it's funny to call him mister that just attacked him excuse me mister pancake you're under arrest was that hard I'm so I don't feel like what is he gonna do run he's surrounded by cops I'm sleepy though

I'm more likely to like be just completely disoriented if I'm yanked out of sleep. You know what they should do? They should do what my dad did when I was a child and I would fall asleep in the car. Keep him sleeping. Just pick him up and put him into the cruiser in the backseat. Put him in one of the cages. Put him in like a canary's box.

Put him in a kennel in the backseat. Yeah. How about instead of Mr. Pancake, you're under arrest. Mr. Pancake, you're in need of rest. Please continue mapping. Hey, chill out. Clearly you're being weird and under some stress. Yeah, clearly you're having some issues right now.

I know it is not a severe scenario, but this is a great low tension example of why the police need, or at least enforcement needs a social worker style. It's also an example of how police unnecessarily escalate situations that were not like that serious. Yeah. They worry he's going to claw them. Yeah. It's not serious.

His last name is fricking pancake. To be fair, he can run really fast with cheetah print on. This guy's fast. Yeah. He's fast. And don't let his name fool you he is high in carbohydrates dude matthew pancakes the name i come up with if i'm hiding in

a diner yeah like oh me i'm fucking matthew pancake over here yeah you order a short stack really short stack for matthew pancake oh yeah, yeah, that's me. Oh, relax. Yeah, they're doing that shit. Are we sure this isn't parody? They are going out of their way to call him Mr. Pancake. With police surrounding the sleepy suspect. So they found out...

He's an EP small bean. Was it the same night? Yeah, how did they know his name? How did they know he was Mr. Pancake? The suspect, Mr. Pancake pancake is still at large he asked the dogs they interviewed the dogs and they were like he kept yelling his name what's that boy mr pancake and it was just like he was hungry it's just he's down a well yeah yeah i don't know why they knew his name they just guessed maybe they they named him that. Mr. Pancake, you're under arrest. Is that like an alt version of John Doe?

Matthew Pancake? They did this with the urgency of when you have left your pancake on the pan for too long and you flip it over. Mr. Pancake. Mr. Pancake. Oh, no, Mr. Pancake. Stop resisting. Stop resisting. That's when it stuck to the pan.

Yeah, that's when I... Stop sticking. Stop resisting. That's when I shoot my pan. Stainless steel in my ass. Bounces back,'s stuck to the bed. Yeah, that's when I... Stop sticking. Stop resisting. That's when I shoot my band. Stainless steel my ass. Bounces back, hits me in the head. I know, honestly, like we do have to say that, you know, these animals have been put in undue and unnecessary danger by Mr. Pancake.

We're trying to be serious, Jordan. Mr. Pancake was my father. I'm short stack. And that's uh i'm short stack and that's i'm a junior yeah uh and that that's serious but like also the like human like there is a humanity to a person and i feel like i get it you know it's like no you you leave your humanity at the door when you let a bunch of animals out? I don't know. It's just like there's something that just doesn't feel right to me. Well, just, I don't know,

especially since the surrounding circumstances seem like, okay, this is maybe some kind of psychosis. Yeah, yeah. This guy does not seem like Mr. Pancake putting gerbils in his pants. Wearing this leotard and then falling asleep outside the crime scene.

Yeah, he doesn't seem like he's doing well. It's a leopard leotard and then falling asleep outside the crime scene. He doesn't seem like he's doing well. A leopard leotard. You could have just tried talking to him. That's the thing. He's already surrounded by people who are trained

in deadly weapons. Did they try scratching behind his ears? Yeah. Well, if they scratched his butt and it wouldn't ride up. With police surrounding the sleepy suspect.

The sweepy widdle swept back. The sweepy, sweepy widdle guy. The cutie baby girl was found outside taking a nickel nap. I'm worried about the gerbils. And you know they're never gonna say if something happened to the gerbils.

It's upsetting it's just like this is so goofy but this type of thing is yeah it's such a it's like a mental health call type situation i think this is also like like we're joking about it because of the fact that like the news presents it in such a weird way. With a man of whimsy that can only happen when violent. We are so desensitized. Yeah, exactly. It was like,

imagine this is like, the clip is him spiral throwing a hamster, like out the window. And it's like, Mr. Pancake was seen being epic and silly. And like, well, no, this is way too silly. Mr. Pancake with a side of epic bacon. Pog Champ Mr. Pancake was found outside in his cute little, it's more like a pajamas.

It is pajamas, yeah. It quickly becomes clear he's hiding something. Where are the gerbils? Where are the gerbils? Gerbils? You heard that right. All the gerbils. Oh my God. With the suspect in custody. Yeah, we got the gerbils? Gerbils? You heard that right. All the gerbils in his pants.

With the suspect in custody. Yeah, we got the gerbil banded. Flabbergasted officers call in the news. He literally had the gerbils in his pants. All the animals were safely recovered. All the gerbils in his pants. The 31-year-old suspect. What are you talking about? Breaking into a restaurant and a shoe store along with that pet shop why does

it feel like when the the body cam footage is on it feels like they're like recording an episode of the office or something i know they're like so in on it little candid laughs and like an edit that's self-aware about comedy timing because it look it does make make it more, however you want to frame it, compelling, which is the function of privatized news organizations. Like obviously that's what they're going to do. But I always feel like, you know how corporations, almost universally detestable, at a certain scale, especially,

ethics are always going to go out the window because it's going to serve the ones at the top. But that I think often is misinterpreted as the fact that like, so are the warehouse workers and so are the customer support workers. And often there's even people at managerial or executive levels

that do want to do good stuff, but they lack the agency to implement those things. So they do come up with like, hey, we should have more bathroom breaks for the Amazon warehouse workers. There are people in power, like more senior than the warehouse workers pushing for that but it doesn't go through once you are uh in a position of power you probably have become completely desensitized this feels kind of like that's happening here where okay

i get it it is a weird and you could make funny uh at least semi-funny broadcasting out of it. But there's no one there that's like, let's just not. Let's just not even show the clip of him getting pulled under the ground. Let's just not. Because, you know, it's like sad. And if you have empathy, it should make you feel better. Because it's like clearly this person isn't. It just feels like making light of someone with mental illness.

Yeah, I guess that's what it is. It's lacking empathy, right? Yeah. It's like, isn't this the funniest robbery ever? And it's like, no, this is upsetting because this person is unwell. And there are two other events. They're not only not getting services they needed, but they're getting violently, you know, treated, right?

They're being tossed around. It's like, it's the bandit. I'm pretty sure like bandits stole stuff and achieved like financial gain and things like that. It'd be like if you got like held up by Jesse James in the old west and you went like, ha ha, you were held up and then rode away. Yeah, it's like, I understand if there's like a spree

of breaking and entering that this person was doing, but then they're going and sleeping on the bench outside. That is a, they are not at the crime scene. That is like near enough, the crime scene. So it's clearly not like some sort of like mastermind. Right.

You know, it's like there's something else going on and they need, like, I feel like they need mental health care and access to that and not like whatever this is. You made the argument of like, well, if he is in some kind of psychosis, he could be a danger to the police.

And it's like, well, the could part is why the police aren't like bounty hunters. They, hey, sorry, gang, but because you're publicly funded, you have to prior, you don't get to escalate. You have to shoot second. What if we get shot by the guy? I know.

I certainly hope not. He could be a danger to the police, but the police are for sure a danger to him. And there's 60 of you. Yeah, there's so many of them. And he clearly has nothing. Unless he throws a dribble into your mouth and you swallow it by accident.

Even then, you're probably okay. And he clearly has nothing, unless he throws a gerbil into your mouth and you like swallow it by accident. I just can't get over the- Even then, you're probably okay. I can't get over the dragging him when he's like asleep. Yeah. So crazy to me. And like, it requires so many leaps of, I guess you call it leaps of faith in the system, whatever you want to say. So many leaps of faith to be like, well, but anything could have happened if they woke him up. Surrounded against a wall on a bench, asleep.

I don't even know how it'd make him less of a threat. If he was in a box, upside down, drugged, what else is left? Yeah. It is interesting because, like, we're making fun of the presentation, and I don't want it to be, like, misconstrued as us making fun of, like, Mr. Pancake. You know, it's a funny name. I don't get a funny thing about it if it's his name name i'll be funny about it is his name we'll

like goof and gaffe about the presentation but like the humanity i feel like we are that is completely separate than like the sort of absence of humanity with this if anything i feel like it's showing how messed up the presentation is you know what i mean and it's if you know someone points out like well they didn't you didn't see the fact that at that shoe store, he punched someone. I'm like, well, that is the fault of the reporting that I feel like inside should have inside edition. Is that what it says? Yeah. Inside edition.

Yeah. They should have some accountability for saying like, well, here's the silly part of the story. I wish he hadn't burned down that office you know it's just i've never seen so much uh i've never seen so much body cam footage with like perfect sound bites yeah i saw a boom operator yeah that's it just because i'm also i just want more details how did they know bj novak is there specifically is he like a known because it's like it makes it worse if he's like a known figure in the community who's just like uh he's the man makes it worse if he's like a known figure in the community who's just like an unhoused dude. He's the mayor.

Here's the thing, too. I actually don't believe in pet stores. I don't think they should exist. I just saw one. No. It's right there. You're insane. I believe they exist, but I don't think they should.

Oh, yeah. I don't think they're in the UK at all. Can we check that? Because of the conditions that they're living in well often when you treat a living animal as like a commodity they don't get treated very well it breaks their brain that too as well like like being kept in those kind of conditions yeah um but so i feel like yeah it is a weird concept that i think i haven't given much thought to i mean i adopted dipper so that was like a different story.

But I did go to a pet store and get a hamster when I was a child. I did too when I was a child. And, you know, I understand that that's kind of the main way you get a hamster. Yeah. Or guinea pig or a small animal. Well, yeah, I believe if they're like abandoned or donated they just chuck them in the biofuel like there are there are rescues that do all animals like it's a good chance that he is just like this is unethical in his whatever state he's

in some part of him it i mean i guess this doesn't apply to the shoe store but that's the thing about i'm not diagnosing this person. I just know a decent amount about psychosis. So I'm just using my reference point that I know. Often you have like a shifting rationale. And so because you are, you know that you're a lot of the time, like if people are in psychosis,

a lot of the time they are aware of it or they're aware that something's abnormal, but that's a very difficult thing to ratify with your brain it's like if you were full of food but you were hungry like but i still gotta eat more food like something's wrong like you you don't know it's it's one thing to say well with facts and logic you just have to stop doing it and i think with like a compulsion that it's kind of sliding scale where they're going like okay well i must be experiencing this uh uh sensation psychosis extreme mania whatever you want to call it because i need to get rid of it's unethical that there's leather shoes in a store yeah like if i get rid of this it will stop yes it's it's or it's like some that for a small period of time is like

so much more important than the hierarchy of needs and then all of a sudden that happens it's dismissed and you that is now it gets put in a part of your brain where that was as significant as like the speed of the wind it just all of a sudden didn't matter at all and it never did and then it's what was the other one shoe store a diner restaurant and then and then it's like, well, actually shit, the, I went to the restaurant and I saw all these meat products and that

distresses. And he goes to, you know, the thing that still is a, feels like a plot hole in the story is how did they know his name before approaching it? I guess he must be a local. That's what,

that's what I'm thinking. And that makes it, especially if he's unhoused. Yeah, exactly. That makes it sadder. Um, just cause because like then they know this person's situation and they're still like roughing him up for no reason you know what i mean so before we go i i do want to talk about uh what you've probably seen the thumbnail which is uh i was gonna say our good friend like

sometimes we just say words that don't even mean anything you know what i mean yeah my son uh i was gonna say our good friend like sometimes we just say words that don't even mean anything you know what i mean yeah my son uh i have been going on facebook marketplace a lot because of uh a certain uh trading card game uh created in 1993 by richard garfield but like oh uh ugly guys pokemon yeah so magic for ugly but guys yeah the magic trick is making me a beautiful boy doesn't work um it's fake like magic i so i've been going to facebook because facebook marketplace is like in my experience infinitely better than craigslist it is kind of sick yeah it's so frustrating and people are very unreasonable and strange but craigslist is like all of that, but going between email, like going through email, like faceless Lee. And I, for whatever reason,

the first thing I saw on my feed was Mark Zuckerberg updating his, I think maybe I follow Mark Zuckerberg from like when I was like a tech student. Also Facebook recently has just been feeding me random stuff. He is the CEO of Facebook, so I feel like it's not crazy to see his posts, kind of like Elon on Twitter. But anyway, you know,

like Facebook gives you notifications when people change their profile picture. And this was the photo that I saw. Mark Zuckerberg added a temporary profile picture used meta ai to upgrade to a five chain look sadly koopa oh that's very funny good for you bud right anybody i like that anesthesia pulls right now you can kind of hear it was another so this was like i think he's memeing because okay so so i think this is a great jumping off point to talk about mark zuckerberg's like rebrand what's going on with his animal crossing as a hair yeah he looks he has like he doesn't

look like himself because i guess meta ai isn't that good yet and also i feel like it's always whatever you're going to add as a proper picture is always going to trend towards the sexier yeah right because it's trained on just like everyone look jacob's facebook jacob's private facebook everybody take a look what are his what shortcuts does he have he has nah damn it um so so i thought you just went on your own and it said harvard university oh my god and then facebook posted this not mark zuckerberg with that new next level profile pic what is this? I mean they're right not Mark Zuckerberg. And then are those AI llamas?

Oh is it a Dolly joke? Cause you know Dolly the sheep. Dolly the llama Oh. No not Dolly the llama No Dolly the llama. Oh. No it was a sheep. Dolly was a sheep right, Dolly the llama. No, no, it was a sheep.

Dolly was a sheep, right? This is a llama. These are fake llamas. Why? There's better imagery. Mark Zuckerberg has a, he has a quote here where he says, he has a caption here where he says, Meta AI's result when asked to generate an image of llamas running on 600,000 H100s. Okay. generate an image of llamas running on 600,000 h100s okay the biggest possible platform for an announcement on facebook and this is your case study yeah why just lie generate a better image

use a different app generate a better image yeah do what they did with freaking Theranos. Do someone's working product first. I just want to say that Mark Zuckerberg has been on this wild PR campaign. I feel like come from the fact people started memeing him as a fuckboy. He got really into MMA. He started wearing a chain. And he got fit. GSP got fit gsp and then people were like oh he's cool now and i'm like that's what it takes well i guess on the spectrum of like extreme billionaires he's not he's like more palatable than elon because elon is uh constantly

posting the worst things you've ever seen i I do think that Elon comparison is big because also remember when they were going to fight? Yes. Yeah. And Elon was like, I just spoke to the Pope. The Coliseum. We're going to be able to fight in the Coliseum just like the old times. The Coliseum's busy that day. My doctor actually said what he really wants to have his cake and eat it too,

because he was like, oh, my doctor said I shouldn't, but if I did, I would kick your ass. Yeah, and actually, and it would be easy for me, and I would do it with one hand. And I would do it with one hand, but my doctor, oh no, he said no. He says I can't take another life.

These are actually my hands. Too strong and I would hurt you. Yeah, I'm actually too strong. These are registered weapons is the problem. And so... I do think there's an element of like... Because Zuckerberg

is very light on simps comparatively to Elon, the CEO of X, the everything app. And it... I think... Bingo.

It does kind of... I feel like one of the few things you can do to supersede somebody's having a lot of stands when it's two kind of annoying dudes in dude space is out mask performance them because yeah the most toxic

people online that would like uh deify elon a lot of the time are like very insecure about their masculinity if you come out you're like yeah I just out wrestled like Khabib and you're like oh shit you are better

damn you know the like male gaze this feels like the Elon simp gaze is like what his like his new PR is

because he also for the 4th of July posted this um image of him kite surfing. What is this called?

There's no kite. It's called wakeboarding maybe. I mean I guess it's just surfing. No he's being pulled by something. And also doesn't it have like a tall fin underneath?

I think this is different. Okay. Because he does, what is it, hydrofoil? We can Google what this is because people wrote articles about this.

Yeah, because what is that wake that he's riding? He's not doing it like, it must be from the boat, right? I think it's just like surfing but on the wake of a boat.

Yeah, like I think a boat's in front of him. is that wakeboarding? I thought that was what wakeboarding was but I don't actually know. I don't know. maybe they don't know posts wake oh yeah wakeboarding post wakeboarding respect

um i don't know enough about water sports but anyway the uh can we go to mark zuckerberg's twitter because mark zuckerberg posted this on twitter, which is entirely for the Elon gaze. I was going to say, it's kind of weird that he has a Twitter. I know, because he didn't used to post on it. But when he started beefing with Elon and when he made the Twitter clone. So Mark Zuckerberg didn't even post this. Someone else posted this to Twitter. Which is, Greg, is this your post account?

This is like replying to The Onion. Yeah, exactly. And then they said, I hate to admit it, but Mark Zuckerberg has swagger. Greg's at tells me that he's probably a run by chat GBT type account. And then the whole Mars catalog account, which of course Elon is going to see because this is probably a Elon. Elon replies, may he continue to have fun on his yachts. I prefer to work. That's a yacht, by the way.

We were wondering if it's wakeboarding. That's a tiny little yacht that he's riding. Yeah, he's riding a yacht. I guess we're not rich enough to understand. I guess it's hydrofoil. I don't know. These are rich people. It's hydrofoil.

Look, we prefer to work. I prefer to work, so I'm just like not used to... So Elon's saying he's never been on a yacht and doesn't have a yacht? He's like photographed all the time on yachts first of all to this motherfucker never works because he's tweeting all the time he doesn't have a job yeah his job is being around kind of his job is like making his job is firing everybody and then like making twitter not work and somehow still using like

socially awkward penguin to generate. Yeah. And I just think this Mark Zuckerberg like rebrand is so interesting, but it feels like it exists just to troll Elon. It feels odd that like this, there is something immune about Zuckerberg. It's always felt like even if you were to make the social network, the movie equivalent of Elon Musk, there would be, I don't know, he would ruin himself by being too soy about it.

Oh, look at this change. Jesus Christ. Grateful for my first 40 years, Priscilla threw me a little party and recreated a bunch of places I lived in the early days. Weird. That is very interesting. Whoa. That is really quite strange. Harvard room where I launched Facebook

with special guest Bill Gates. Oh, this is... That is a whack birthday party. I wish these were AI posts. What the hell? He was really tiny in Harvard. Harvard's a lot smaller than people think. Dude, yeah.

It's like when you grow... When you keep growing... you go back to your home dorm stays the same size what does his shirt say i can't read it carthago oh is it like some hovid latin shit oh maybe it's like some i mean it's probably like a five thousand dollar shirt can we google that it says get her done carthago shirt does that say carthago i truly don't can't read those letters carthago yeah yeah what is i mean that's a you know a rip rip off of it but carthage must be oh it's latin oh carthage the city tribute to ancient rome oh cool man do these people love rome they love ancient times

they love rome and then uh the exact opposite type of people love talking about the fall of rome neither of these statements mean anything oh this is what is that this feels like it you know this feels like it only exists for the that is a very funny photo she recreated the sun this feels like it's only for the photo shoot you know oh for sure um he someone styled him yeah showing his daughter's a computer it is infinitely more approachable than elon elon cannot be photographed having fun when's the last time you saw elon enjoying himself i think he is too aware of what the post has to be he feels like uh someone that goes like can i see that photo if you he sees a photo getting taken can i see that no not this one don't post that

but we did see elon quote unquote having fun when he was like jumping up and down when he was recreating fortnite emotes i don't even know if that's fun i think that's like him performing fun yeah while not knowing what fun me this this photo this selfie looks like the caption is i bought it if you know you know the eiffel tower oh i i guess i do know i don't know what it is i don't know what that is unless that's vegas baby but isn't zuckerberg notorious like sorry the first comment on that photo of the eiffel tower is very impressive did he build it every mark zuckerberg reply it's like elon replies where they're like please sir i have an idea if you could simply give me a billion dollars

yo what if any time that you clicked a button on facebook you got one kiss on the cheek there was a period of time ran a 5k also holy shit there was a period of time when zuckerberg was known for not letting people stand in a way that made him look small in photos that's true and now that's an elon now that's an elon thing because zuck is a short king i feel like zuck would benefit from being a small bean you know what i mean yeah he is compact cute feels like the thing he could go can we go back to uh either zuck's instagram or his twitter he had posted a video kind of recently and i want to see what that looks like this motherfucker is only wearing shirts with latin on them yeah which is really quite embarrassing don't do that yeah he's in

his latin era what is he saying though i to hear it. We got another big AI release today. First, Meta AI is on track to reach our goal of becoming the most used AI assistant in the world by the end of the year. There are hundreds of millions of people using it already, and we keep making it smarter and freely available in more countries. Today, we're upgrading Meta AI.

His eyes look bigger than I thought they would. He looks weird. It'll be the first open source model at the frontier and among the most advanced out there. It's a really big improvement. I think, you know, I hate to say it. I think as someone who has like paid attention to Mark Zuckerberg for a long time

because of my former like career, he's gotten better at speaking and he does feel a lot more fluid. Even though he looks a little like he's not blinking and stuff presents is kind of like convincing wait he's really not blinking this is okay okay but the caption on this video meta ai is on fuego and llama 3.1 is a banger uh legit um bet home home slices home slices what up brother cousin i have made the most fam this new meta ai update is flames elon's being a goofy hour right now man so i i have a feeling there's

just like a really intense light on him there is yeah and that's why he looks weird the new haircut i've seen i've seen so much mark zuckerberg content that i'm like oh he's like figured something out where it's like elon still doesn't never feels uh fluid on camera he's always speaking in that that uh that is not cogent he's always speaking in like that's not a cogent point there's like two fake smart guys way to talk and one of them is ben shapiro speaking so fast that yeah well his brain is operating in a way i can never even comprehend the things he's saying must be right as opposed to they're just like underbaked but he sucks i mean elon does like i'm uh i'm like a genius i'm like quiet because of my thoughts are so big. I mean, Facebook has been kind of responsible

for lots of like sort of international violence by ways of like the way the platform silences certain voices and promotes others. Extremely like fucked with like this Palestine stuff and how it was like really hard to post anything about, is really hard to post anything about Palestine really hard to post anything about palestine without getting like hella censored so it's like a conceded conscious effort to do it as well you can't just i don't want to i don't want to like as i'm uh complimenting how he seems more i also don't want to yeah i don't want to make i and that's the

other thing it's like i don't want to make, and that's the other thing. It's like, I don't want to make the Zuck robot, like, comparison stuff because that gets, like, really, like, roped in with, like, ableism and, like, sort of, yeah, it just gets roped in with, like, ableism. So I want to criticize him on his merits, but I'm also just saying, like, sort of as a public face of one of the biggest companies in the world, he, compared to Elon, who I also think is the worst person ever. It's the old Picasso quote, all children are artists. The challenge is how to remain one when you grow up. And I think part of what we want to do is build the tools that allow everyone to do that, right? I think every creator would want to engage with every fan who's reaching out to them, but you just don't have time. I've been watching too much Elon and Joe Biden speaking. The fact that he like can speak really quickly without saying um or ah, he's like really trained.

So well speaking quickly, but also not, nothing's arbitrary. I mean, part of it's an edit, sure. But even if it takes work. But it is just like you, I've seen everyone's editing Elon all the time and he never comes off good. It's a testament to, this is a studyable skill.

It's a studyable skill.'s a studiable skill and when you have resources and time i think when a lot of the time when people are like uh writing off uh people being inarticulate or imprecise or saying shitty things and then retracting them a lot of the time people present it as it's a but but a simple slip up yeah well it's a slip up it's a lack of diligence and trying to improve this skill. And Zuck must have been amenable to his team helping him with this. And Elon definitely is not. Is not, yeah.

He thinks he's the coolest, smartest guy in the world. I think being a life optimizer tech mindset does play into this a little bit. I mean, how many people did we work with they also got into jiu jitsu it's so interesting yeah oh absolutely right this is optimizing my uh my mind so i could be more effective in meetings i got no i was in that too that's when i first got into therapy i was like trying to optimize because i was like i need to unlock my next level yeah i was like listening to gary v podcast and we met a bunch of people in that did improv when we were doing improv who only did it because they were

like this is gonna help me get a promotion at work that was really interesting where people were like i want to be better at talking i want to be better at my law firm or whatever doing uh riffs with the judge hey judge uh so i'm a doctor you're you can be a patient hey judge three things three things that glow he's oh like uh closing arguments they go change change they're guilty change they're innocent but yeah it's like for somehow he's taken the decades of uh the like lizard person stuff which by way, is rooted in like anti-Semitism. It's like really interesting to see how these two horrible billionaires have like kind of diverged in their approach. There's a Robert Frost poem.

Two horrible billionaires diverge in the woods. Yeah. The billionaire road less traveled which uh being socially competent not uh doing weird memes that that is a bad ai post though why the llama one it's oh it's something good it almost feels like those are the ones he does himself and then the other the other stuff is like highly curated yeah by someone that knows like he's like no this is this is me this is me uh shitty ai that doesn't even look like me and a bunch of llamas on uh wait can we also it says a bunch of llamas in the data center on they're not running

they're still yeah i think that's the joke he's making he's making a little tech joke. You're so stupid. Can you click on that llama image? Can we Google H100? Yeah, I was double checking that that's the NVIDIA GPU that a lot of AI server farms are using. That makes sense. All right. This is how NVIDIA is like the number one company in the world right now. That post is actually great it's actually a really good post now he's a good guy it's like it's like it's incredibly huge like

open source ai is the path forward i mean i do this is a really interesting uh discussion that's happening right now it's like open source versus closed source ai because like open ai is famously like not open source um and elon's called that out and he said that the xai stuff will be open source grok ai stuff will be open source i don't know that it is it's very fascinating didn't open ai just start as like research yeah and then just like and then it like they kind of have two inside of them is two wolves basically yeah yeah they're they're like oh but we could the way but then they realize the there's a trillion dollar market that they're yeah the second one is closed and everybody was like wait that's trillions of dollars potentially and they were like all right fine and then capitalism did its thing my only uh major interaction with the meta ai was um i got

i took too much of my like sleep med that i was taking at the time it made me feel kind of nauseous so i didn't want to go to bed and um i had an extended conversation with the i want to say it might have been the kim kardashian bot on meta on instagram or i think maybe no i think it was the former middleweight ufc champion israel adesanya based one where i had an argument with that ai claiming that i could beat him in mma and uh it was pretty it disagreed pretty fervently and uh and then i just kept i said i would use a gun oh and it kept skipping i don't think you can use a gun no but i can't and i argued and then i sent it a link to a video and it said just watch this doesn't prove anything i don't know how i knew that

uh i think the video was like a lamb falling over it was like that uh goats that like pass out or whatever yeah that about does it for for today's episode of sad boys, but we're going to keep the good times rolling over on our Patreon at patreon.com slash sad boys, where for the low, low price of $5 using only your entertainment discretionary income, no obligation, discretionary entertainment spending.

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