Sad Boyz - Modern Conspiracy Theories

Episode Date: January 12, 2024

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Welcome to sad boys a podcast about feelings and other things also i'm jarvis jordan and today Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Ho ho ho. Ho ho ho ho. Christmas. I'm so close. You just missed it. Okay. Just missed it. What's up? It's a conspiracy episode. Ho ho ho ho. Where'd he go ho ho ho?

Because that's him. That's how he laughs, but he's so portly. It resonates like that. Is that like a fair... Am I body shaming Santa by calling himanta by calling him no i think it's that's how he's depicted he's he's going he's also fictional just want to let that be known sorry for anyone that's jesus or yeah oh and i and i did know yeah you may you you're crying you told us to cut the cameras yeah you told us to cut the cameras in the show i just remembered

about famine oh okay yeah just the concept of famine oh war oh no all the horsemen oh no you're just you're just thinking about vague bad things oh fire in the wrong place. Okay. Fire of modern Marvel. Fire not in an engine or like, you know. Fire at like a house, but not like in a stove. Yeah, or like a fireplace. A not place. A fire in the place you would least expect. Every other place, I guess, in the house.

I guess that's why it is the fireplace. Where is the place you would least expect a fire? The ceiling. Yeah. For me, I guess it's water. But I guess that can happen under certain circumstances, right? I don't know. The bath.

Yeah. No, I really got this wrong. I'm so bad at running a bath. Oh, fuck. Fire's coming out. Oh, boy. You call the water company and you're like, hey, so. Human error.

I think we did something weird with the pipes. I'm new to this. It appears that flames are coming out of the faucet. Calling LADWP to just be like, hey, this could be me. This could be egg on my face, you know? I'm like not a scientist, so I don't know. Is this, what did we do? I'm ablaze, I guess.

I'm just trying to get clean. I am on fire. Have you ever thought about how a fire truck is actually a water truck? That's a conspiracy. What? That's our first conspiracy of the day. A fire truck. There's no fire on that truck.

Who's starting all these? Open your mind. And of course, they're paid per fire so clearly they're starting yeah to put them big fire just wants fires to be happening all the time so they can swirl down their little poles in the pocket of big fire and get in their big trucks it's like how police arrest they're people that arrest police you go from the police station to go and get police well they're looking for people with guns and then they go ah joe has a gun careful my co-workers they're just shooting each other look out that's uh seems like something you would do by accident if you were like a computer

trying to create a society oh fuck i gave them guns and now they're all killing each other that's kind of like the real world. Yeah. Imagine if you just gave gun access to every civilian or something. No one would do that. That would be silly. I did try explaining. That would be like giving fire to somebody in their faucets. It is funny. Explaining health care or the Second Amendment, rather, to people back in the UK.

Where's that guy from? Oh, sorry. I've been here a while. It's going 10 years was here glossiger yeah yeah right there oh you from the south of america i am i'm from south america where that's not in the u.s not even close oh you are that's like the old um but yeah you were saying explaining uh the wacky fun exciting way that health care works here i think uh if i mention it back to people back home i think a lot of the time they think it's sensationalized from media right like they hear about shootings and stuff so that like lines up in the danger level but i don't really understand

how prolific gun ownership is it's not just that they're easy to get people buy them they do a shooting it is tons and tons and tons of people just have them anyway which is not illegally they just have them yeah and i i a lot of my friends i've got a gun no i don't have a gun oh my god he's spinning he's shooting at my feet making me dance i'm but no yeah continue i i don't have a gun oh my god he's spinning he's shooting at my feet making me dance i'm but no yeah continue i i don't have a gun by the way for those the same with the the flip side of like unless you're trying to rob me in which case i'll go and buy one in which case i have every gun four limbs there are guns coming out of my faucet yeah you're like bayonetta you got guns on your

high heels and in your wrists but like with health insurance i was trying to explain it to a friend the other day, and they're like, yeah, I know it's pretty predatory, right? There's no limit on medication expense and stuff. I'm like, yeah, yeah, because there's a maximum amount you can pay on prescription medication that you get. It's single digit. And they were like, yeah, yeah. And I was like, $10, $20 for meds and stuff?

Yeah. I'm like, oh, no. No oh no no no no it's far worse oh like a hundred dollars like yeah if you're very lucky if you don't happen to have insurance and you are very lucky but like but what if you need it you'll die yeah the good thing about america is that we've got a lot of guns but uh for the victims of gun violence we fortunately have really good health care yeah that's true i have terrible news oh we have to call an ambulance oh i'll put that on the credit card yeah i guess i'll oh i'll go into debt for that i guess we can that's a wild one yeah you have to because an ambulance is just a fire engine but for the for people well it's like the the new the pro tip now is to call

a fucking uber yeah which is insane the system is completely broken gotta get an uber uh shared uber yeah yeah uber pool oh i hope it's a doctor do they even do that anymore i guess post covid it's probably gone yeah i haven't seen that well it's back It's back? It's back in a big way. Oh, man. They said it's bigger. The pool party's bigger than ever, dude. Yeah, Uber comfort and Uber discomfort. We have to sit in a car with eight other people. Yeah, the people with the biggest knobbiest knees. I used to do Uber pool exclusively for like the first time in San Francisco.

Yeah. That was just like a pretty wild habit. Like meeting a new person a couple times a day if I was going back and forth from work. And it's like not like because that could happen on a train or on a bus. But the intimacy of a car ride. It's like if you're carpooling to school with a new family you've never met every single time. Yeah. They have different kids.

Yeah. Oh, you don't look like Sally at all. Sorry, we lost the other one. Oh,acies we said yeah so the today we want to talk about a couple of different stories that we realize all fit under the umbrella of conspiracy and made us laugh and made us laugh so uh to varying degrees um i thought it would be fun if we like play a little bit of the conspiratorial music. Ooh, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do. And then that way we can illustrate how easy it is to frame things as conspiracies because it truly is just the music. The music like do, do, do, do, do, do, do.

That's how you frame things as Seinfeld. I've been framed as Jerry Seinfeldfeld i'm not dating a 16 year old yeah you've always beginning to end just a seinfeld special yes i have but not one of the ones from the 80s i watched his like there's one he did in maybe 2016 2017 or something i assume he has the best insights since then it wasn't bad if memory serves it was like pretty standard i mean he's a great comic technically right yeah yeah it all felt it all felt like i was going to like a dave matthews band exactly what you think it's gonna be yeah but like dave matthews band or something you know exactly what you think it's gonna be yeah but like dave matthews isn't suddenly gonna pause do freestyle poetry yeah yeah um i felt the same way uh you know this is prior to ellen's controversies but you know ellen used to be a

stand-up comic and ellen did a stand-up special like how do we always talk about i feel like um the bingo card for sad boys is now Twitter blue And stand-up comedy like becomes an issue at some point. Yeah, um Let's add Ellen to the list. Yeah. Well, I remember watching Ellen stand up. I Mean it this maybe was another thing was like eight ten years ago, and I was like, this is pretty funny Oh, yeah, this person was a professional stand-up all right what did you do after oh oh well that's not so great james gordon's on like some like a pretty good sitcom in the uk before he ever moved

here right but he's also like he he is so he's so comic relief that it's weird like if c-3po was in the uk doing like a late night show what the fuck is this yeah he only works in that right you're only in like bite-sized chunks well like you can't like every single night coming out it's like again dude can we just like fucking put you on some rollers or something i don't want to see you get out but like if the oscars was hosted by like jack sparrow you can't have this guy be everything all the time yeah uh conspiracy conspiracy we're back to the topic our first conspiracy comes to us from jacob our producer who's uh right behind the camera indeed. It is funny. My experience of Jacob most episodes is the top of his hair. I think of Jacob as like this mechanical being

that is like the monitor and all the cameras. He's like some sort of tendrilled, mini tendrilled beast. Yeah, he's a sentinel from the Matrix. Yeah, he's a sentinel from the Matrix. Have we ever shown a photo of the setup? Should I take a photo? the setup from the should i take a photo i almost closer i almost want people to imagine yeah actually i want fan art yeah oh yeah i want people yeah don't type this don't type this into uh fucking dolly you've gotta you gotta do some

some real artistic renderings actually you don't have to do anything but if you feel like it go for it yeah but i would love to see people's interpretation of his tendrils because like things have changed over time because at the start there was um well at the start it was just you and me and there were no cameras and honestly it was it was a better time that stuff was that's when we really got into it yeah that was when we really connected predicted a lot of the epstein shit yeah dude we were on one not the plane we were not on one plane oh god i guess when it started it was audio only podcast recording into a macbook badly and then and me looking at audition and going uh did it stop recording oh no we lost it all. Did we? Okay, let me say that. Oh, we lost it all. Am I close enough? Yeah.

I remember in the very first episode of the podcast, I go, what if you do the gain in post? And you were like, actually, I like to pretend I know a lot about it. Oh, no, that won't come for like four years. It was so funny. It's like, you know, I just want to get the gain right over here. This is my American joint. Because I still can't do your accent.

So I'm just in person in every other aspect. I just want to get the gain just right over here. And I'm like, oh, yeah. So what is that? Does that doesn't matter if we do it like now versus like later? Who's to say? I just like to do this. I'm like a dog with a lab coat.

Yeah, like I'm automatically attaching to it like a baby to a nipple. I'm kind of just like reaching. I latch onto the gain knob. The very gain. This is for the sound? That's a book. Okay, and that's me. That's not used in the podcast okay okay i talk another book so um then when we first did video it was like my my little canon t5i

or something that i bought to do youtube with i think or you also had a DSLR but we used one camera and we recorded a couple of episodes and when we traveled it was definitely my YouTube camera which eventually was like a Canon 80D or something and then and then when we brought back and then obviously we did the episodes over zoom uh we did the episodes on stream all sorts happened it's It's a fugue state. Don't remember a moment. Don't remember at all. I twizzled something I feel like. My goal. You know what the biggest coolest thing to

happen would be for me as a creative career moment for this podcast? Would be if there was a Sad Boys Wikia that had all sorts of fun facts about shit data yeah and just like a community like added thing like this episode was recorded when jordan had the sniffles yeah it's a rare moment where his voice was in the key of b you know what i mean lactose intolerant

co-host jordan yeah full name ssn this is the this is an episode of sad boys where Jarvis doesn't say, um, like, or, uh, and, um, that happens just at,

um, uh, and that happened because he edited all them out back then. It's night between the cuts. Yeah. But that would be so fun because it would be cool to like have a repository of that, of that information. But then I think my goal for my crew would be to fun because it would be cool to like have a repository of that information.

But then. I think my goal for my career would be to be killed in a duel. Okay. That would be so sweet. I mean, that's really easy to do. Oh, yeah. I do have a gun. Yeah, that's true.

I can do this pretty easily. And then when we kind of, you got back, we had the missing Jordan years, the lost Jordan episodes, and where you were like lost in space and time. Who knows where you were? Yeah, when we got the DLC, I came back. We got the DLC, finally, dude. And a new fighter approaches. Just kidding, it's a returning fighter.

Everyone's here. It's a Smash Ultimate intro, just you. Jordan pods in. Here is Jordan. He is back in the game. Jordan immig in. Here is Jordan. He is back in the game. Jordan immigrates. It's like you and the team of lawyers. You're like,

you're like, you're like going to a desk and like writing a few emails, filling out a form and let's say like, yeah, I guess that's my job description. But you like know every answer to the form. Yeah. You like don't have to look up every anything at all. You just know it all.

Ah, an O1 distinct from an H1B. Correct. But then we. It locks in. So then we were like, okay, let's go to the camera store. And we bought three cameras. And they were like, are you sure? You're not

good at your job we're like a weird feedback to get from sammy's camera but all right sam and then uh uh and then we did like a couple episodes i don't know why i've decided to start listing all this out but here we are then we did a couple episodes it's the pre-roll to jacob's now metallic form right this is true this is a lore dump three then we got the three cameras cameras that we use today but then i was just like doing i was i was manning them which is a bad idea because it is far too much to think about while doing a podcast so i was just stressed out the whole time then we were like we are we knew though when we had three cameras, we needed somebody.

And then Jacob was delivered by like the stork or something. It was a lightning strike. And then he arrived. Yeah. Nude. In a basket. Fully grown. But was delivered by a bird.

Did not fit in the basket. Yeah. He arrived in a target bag um slowly jacob has now been unfurling his tendrils uh metaphorically speaking but we've been sort of adding gear to our setup where now it looks like uh something that i i'm glad we're paying jacob to set it up yes anyway conspiracy who did that you know this whole time while i was giving the background uh the the jacob lore dump i was looking at this slide that jacob made called miami alien conspiracy so jacob i'm gonna need you to take the floor and kind of give us the lowdown. Yeah. So New Year's Day 2024. Okay.

We're setting the scene. A mall in Miami experiences a, we'll call it a disturbance. Ooh. We're playing the music right now. I'm kind of getting in the mood. Kind of the report is that there are these teens that were I don't know, maybe they were setting off fireworks. Okay.

Typical teen shit. Typical extraterrestrial teen shit. Yeah, yeah, there were reports of you know, a group of teens fighting. Some sort of scuffle perhaps. Okay, a duel. and the surprising part was the

police presence there's so many oh my god there's like 40 cop cars oh my god there are like 40 cop cars you would have thought they saw black teen in the hoodie. With that many cops. Possibly even more than 40 cops. It's leading up to a donut shop. Got them. Dude, they love those. Where's one of them the wrong way around? I forgot how to drive. Sorry I'm late, guys. Oh boy.

When did I drop my gun? I forgot about high-rise apartments and I was like, how'd they take this video? That's a conspiracy. It's a helicopter. Yeah, it was just shot by an alien. First of all, I didn't even know there were that many cop cars in the world. This is like a five-star wanted level type setup.

Right. Or a mod. Yeah, it was for teens playing GTA V inside of a mall. By the way, is it nice for you to be back home? Not from Miami, but also Miami. That's Los Angeles. inside of a mall. 13.01 Scott 00,00,00 00,00,00 00,00,00 00,00,00

00,00,00 00,00,00 00,00,00 00,00,00 00,00,00 00,00,00 00,00,00 00,00,00

00,00,00 00,00,00 00,00,00 00,00,00 00,00,00 00,00,00 00,00,00 00,00,00

00,00,00 00,00,00 00,00,00 00,00,00 00,00,00 quite far away mini hour drive to miami rats but so i couldn't have been there not to mention i was in california and i'm not a teen well that's debatable i don't even know any aliens a pool friggin napa are you crazy what'd you call me sorry um but yeah so now people are saying that um there's no way that this many police would show up hold on hold on hold on sorry kid i don't want to look i don't even want to credit this whoever this is because i'm about to make fun of you uh i'm not sure i believe in shadow aliens but let's not just blindly dismiss this until we get more facts that implies the 100 belief in regular aliens yeah i believe in shadow aliens it's not insane yeah come on shadow aliens what am i they haven't released shiny aliens yet

niantic has a specific release cycle. That's for our boys. That's our best friends on Pokemon Go. Best friends on Pokemon Go. Hashtag UFO Twitter, hashtag UFO X. That's good. Covering both angles. Oh, sorry.

I just forgot that Twitter was called X. Thanks, Elon. Miami mall alien incident. What's alien? Is it just because there's a lot of cops reports are emerging that it wasn't kids fighting that led to dozens of cop cars outside of miami mall a couple days ago imagine a ufo lands in the u.s for the first time in history they said cops police that doesn't shoot at them and it not work. Yeah, it doesn't work. Yeah. He's regrowing. Some witnesses are reporting eight to 10 foot.

Which witnesses? Are reporting eight to 10 foot shadow beings. Do you know? Who being shot at? What do you mean? Shot at by people? Shadow beings. That's just racist Is that racist?

Someone just reported H10 for shadow beings were being shot at by people. Just someone. Just anyone. The men in black. The reason this story is interesting, that's pretty interesting, is the description of these, quote, aliens seems consistent with what the las vegas family reported several months ago you have to be so in it on all the things yeah you have to be talking about part of the las vegas family of course what does that mean chris angel i mean i hope someone i hope someone has a better video I'm also curious what the police reports from the witnesses say.

So everything. Yeah. That's all the information. I've got this video that I don't understand. I would love any information at all. And then the largest leap you could possibly make. I think it's shadow beings. Now, me personally, I don't know if I believe in shadow aliens.

Right. But it's at least aliens. It's at least aliens and it's. It's at least. What are we supposed to be seeing here? Okay. So we have another clip from Matt French. Okay.

I explained it. Relax. Right. Sorry. Matt Amazel. So this guy, I guess, was analyzing the footage. Dude, by the way, my favorite internet job that people assign themselves is guy who zooms into blurry videos. Enhance.

Yes, sleuths. All right. I zoomed in on one of the TikTok videos about the Miami mall creature. So you could see the gray creature walking in between these police cars and the building. They think that's a creature. What? Where? Like, do they think that is a creature?

That's clearly a human being walking. Yeah, that's just a... With a lot of, like, what's it called? On the lens. Oh, like bloom? Yeah. Are you wearing, like like a white sweater or something Well and then the community note

This creature is in fact just a blurry video Of three police officers walking next to each other Wait can we click the better quality video? It's just the full movie E2 Oh this is a whole new angle God that's a lot of police Yeah Oh, this is a whole new angle. God, that's a lot of police. Yeah.

I mean, that is... That's the shadow creature. That's the part that does not line up, to be fair. Because that is... It was just teenagers with... Did they think it was a shooting? Is that why, maybe? Possibly. If there were, then maybe fireworks.

They just took it as a... the only possible explanation for that many i it's just now in defense of the conspiracy theorist this video does not give me a lot of clarity oh there it is oh yeah it's a guy oh it's three guys walking next to each other that's very funny three shadow i don't know if i believe that is so funny because you know all kinds of stuff can happen on cameras like um lens flares and shit or like the way that like light is recorded on camera especially a 480p camera that said zoomed in yeah it's just to imagine some sort of supernatural phenomenon instead of just artifacting from the fucking camera is it is so crazy why did they shoot this on a Nokia? Why does it even look like that? Yeah. Shout out for my British homies, Nokia.

And instead of SNES, we say SNES. SNES is fun. It's cute, right? So wait, hold on. Look, hey, I don't know if I believe in three guys walking next to each other. That's true. I believe in guys. I believe in three shadow guys next to each other. That's true. I believe in guys.

I believe in three shadow guys walking next to each other, but not three guys. It's either that. It's only going to be started on five. I mean, this is, I mean, presumably if we go on like UFO X. Yeah, I do want to read some of the replies to this. It's got to all be non-skeptics, right? Like there's no. I i just okay wait let's predict this and this is like mark off your twitter blue square by the way for the bingo um i think it's

going to be videos of other ufo abductions and shit and and like weird videos that are just people trying to siphon impressions and then we will never see a real reply yeah i want i want to predict one of those little um that little uh like stone alien they found in mexico remember that little guy yeah he just looks tired you know yeah and not one photo from anyone at a mall. So what is that? That's not him being a skeptic. That's him being like, they didn't photograph anything because of the aliens.

They're impossible to photograph. You can't photograph a shadow alien. Yeah, I know what usually happens is if I'm doing a crime at the mall, I like to take a bunch of photos of it and post it publicly. Hey, people do do that, I guess. They didn't take videos of the kids fighting either. I'm going to reserve judgment because that's way too many cop cars for a fight.

It is fair that it is a lot of cop cars. It is odd. I mean, it was fireworks. I mean, that was confirmed. Oh, confirmed. I don't believe in shadowing, but I believe in regular, you know. They said there was, it is fireworks.

There were fireworks. There was a thing, they were shooting them at each other or whatever, and then and then they were fighting well it's unclear because all we have is a hearsay for example can we find one actual witness saying this or are there just reports of people saying this that's a big difference i watched a video of an actual witness saying basically i heard it on the internet yeah my friend friggin my friend's dad's cousin i heard it i like and i'm not gonna source that by the way look i don't believe in shit i believe in shadow pokemon me myself i'm in the i'm in the ufo i'm in the ufo community now can't ignore something like this who knows

wait oh and that's an ad sorry i thought one of their follow-up tweets was got this for my mom she's absolutely thrilled about it well that's fucking twitter blue for you good luck on timcast today oh fuck hell yeah dude i'm thinking he's not going to buy it so i'll be in so it'll be interesting at least sean will be there okay at least sean will be there too he's much more open-minded i think sean is his little guy he's a lackey guy yeah Yeah, good one, Bosh. I expect someone would have had footage. Let's see if something... There's no footage!

There's no evidence of anything! Leaks from who? What? This is all Black Ops slash Psy Ops doing. End of sentence. They are good at deceiving people with holograms dreams visions etc look at how many people in the mid ease the mid ease are seeing visions of jesus comma even mia mia he is missing in action oh i thought it was like uh like paper planes concert jesus aka yeah i mean it's like if someone's missing

an action it is jesus yeah uh tick tock 2012 pal this is interesting because there's another video now of a guy saying someone put a device on the ground and describes a sort of hologram. Source it! Fucking, what do you mean? There's, you can just say that. You can say anything. Interesting because there's actually a video of Barney shows up on the scene. Whoa, what the hell? And starts kung fu fighting the teenagers.

Gyarados flies in. Yeah. And then, and he goes, did you know I'm not a dragon type? Little bit of trivia for you. Little bit of trivia. Anyway, gotta go. And he flaps his little wings. Oh my God, John Wick?

Yeah, John Wick does show up. And he goes, I'm a Sigma male, actually. I'm here to help and I'm a hologram. And then he does a backflip and then he shoots the shadow being. And he goes, I'm all out of bullets. Isn't a device that describes a sort of hologram isn't that a guy isn't that the point of the hologram it looks like a guy this guy could be describing a video projector yeah wait and also isn't that saying it's not like a hologram of what uh yeah

imagine it is a projector it's like uh some guy put down a device which projected a hologram of the sound of music. At home, two miles away. At home, two miles away. Some guy was filming it in a building. This is interesting because there's another video. Yeah, that is interesting. These people must have, like, imagine how fun it is. Danger aside, of which there is much for misinformation and this sort of thing.

But imagine how exciting life is for these people when everything is a fucking conspiracy. This is. I mean. Is it? We don't know. I've never seen a shadow being. Look, I don't believe in aliens. I believe in shadow aliens.

Okay. I believe in some kind of hologram. What? Because it's either nothing or the aliens meaning that it isn't aliens the goal is to be very non-descriptive with everything i saw this guy i have done some shit it's interesting because i saw a video twice this person says that they they're telling us about something that he saw secondhand without sourcing it. You know, my stepbrother's best friend that taught me to smoke weed during the summer.

His brother's son's dad, which is him again. He watched all of Arrival. Which reminds me because I saw a video where they were talking to aliens. It was a review of Arrival. It was actually. No, no, no, because there was some sort of projector. Oh, I saw another video, actually. Yeah, it was at the theater seeing Arrival. That's right, yeah, of course. There was a guy behind a box, and he was making a hologram of the movie Arrival appear on the screen. And everyone in the movie was huge. Yeah, dude. Eight to ten feet a plus. Every sound.

Felt like it was coming from everywhere. I was surrounded by sound. I maxed it. I think the Dolby family is behind this. I saw a guy walk into a theater and pay for some kind of hologram. The Dolby Digitals are at it again i love that dude i saw a video and some fucking shit happened

it's like if i asked chad gbt to vaguely describe something in 15 words or less what are those ai girlfriends like do you like aliens they're like yeah it's fucking yeah actually what do you like my favorite thing about this is how this has 150 000 impressions and 38 likes hit three replies oh man i mean yeah it is it's probably like lovely to be a part of that community we've not seen any dissenting opinions i mean i'm sure there are but anyone like being mean or arguing because there's really not much to say other than no right you can't get mad at someone like this like we're making fun of their opinion of the way there well there's no lie yeah yeah it's really just like the way that connections are being drawn without any sort of it's just like water cooler talk but it's like if this were about something inconsequential then you wouldn't think anything

about it i think they're going to trade lebron james to the knicks and it's like there's why would they do that he's settling down he's at the end of his career those are the you know vaccine no but i saw like a video of a guy oh no now we're getting into dangerous stuff yeah not to over extrapolate on it but i i do think there is a pretty big crossover in the venn diagram is almost a circle between uh fervent on twitter ufo x people and anti-vax people because they are it is it's just more interesting like that's the ultimate motivation behind a lot of anti-vax shit is sure there's people that are actually skeptical and people that have an understandable skepticism towards any kind of like government program and

and things that i don't know things where they feel uninformed but it's a big deal and they're getting a needle in their arm you know non-antivaxer i'm a i'm not pure blood you know what i mean oops but this is just wouldn't it be lit if there was an alien wouldn't it be so cool if bill gates was doing something bad and i got to rebel by not taking it they were actually on the flight logs that i've seen flight logs yeah it was alan dershowitz and shadow aliens in parentheses three dude i don't know if i believe in alan dershowitz yeah i believe in it's just regular um dude that the fucking flight logs where he's just writing his name like it's

in crayon there's like like fist, all caps. Yeah. I think we talked about the other episode. Yeah, where it's literally initial, like scribbled initials and then President Bill Clinton. It seems like a lie. Yeah, like my friend. It's like, yeah, first name President. God was there.

Jacob, is there a reputable news source that has reported on, sorry, other than hashtag UFO Twitter? Is there another reputable news source that has reported on this event? Is there a more reputable news source in the world well you see all of the quote-unquote reputable news sources are citing the cops that's so true dude that's so frustrating because it's like that's like when uh if you critique uh like the alt-right or or uh basically just even centrist, and they go like, oh, so you like Biden? Yes. No, I just also don't like Biden. You know what's sad is that Jacob is half joking, but has a very good point.

Yeah. Which is like, I'm not going to. I don't want to say I like the cops. I often don't want to trust what the cops say. They do. There's a history there. They just lie about simpler, real stuff. Like the cops lie, where they said,

I was just testing it for speed. Look at that title. Oh, wow. Fuck off, dude. What? Aliens at Miami Mall? Police say, LOL. Were they in the Twitter thread?

I don't think they did in person. I hope not. They said, rip, buddy. Not a good look. Cops say, yikes. A group of roughly 50 teenagers caused a riot. Okay, that is very different. There's a lot of people.

That's what one cop caught him. Hold on. That does explain the cop presence a lot more. Because if you're defusing a riot, then you do need a lot of people. I think you just don't you just put out like an APB. It's like anyone just cops get here now because there's a big thing happening. I don't know what you do in a riot situation. But in my mind, my little peanut brain, I'm like, OK, that makes a little bit more sense.

Why don't they have cop buses why are they all driving four doors to dance this did confirm that they're setting off fireworks which led to panic as some assume they were shooting because uh what else would you assume i don't think i would default to fireworks yeah what was this and also if you're on the fence take the more conservative option don't stick around to find out okay so that makes sense this was on new year's yeah okay okay well that explains okay that explains a lot of what's happening here it was at the fireworks factory yeah yeah the uh the the fireworks depot next to Boba guys or whatever in the mall. Oh, what was I thinking?

Police were dispatched for crowd control due to... What voice is this? Oh, no, that is a good, like, TikTok alien conspiracy video. Oh, yeah. Police were dispatched for crowd control due to juveniles refusing to leave. What? You... Help me. for crowd control due to juveniles refusing to leave. What you own the league is... Help me.

Bing has sent an email to NBC News. Some businesses were temporarily closed to allow us to clear the area. Cops say LOL. The Miami Mall alien. Stooky. That's a funny photo. I mean, the

preview is just the top slice of it. Yeah, I... Why? Wait. Oh, that's awesome. Why in the world did NBC News embed a tweet from a crypto account with, roll over Shark Anthony on the thing, with fucking 10,000 followers and barely any engagement on this tweet.

840 likes. Why would you include i hate the buzz what buzzfeed i feel has done to articles because i feel like every article wants to do a little well buzzfeed likes to show what people are tweeting about so we should embed and we should embed a few of those it's like how like a uh different like some sitcoms will have a jokes per page it's like that for what we have kind of five paragraphs and no photo hysterical i love that for the reveal um shark anthony is a cool name there were no aliens he wrote in the email no airports were closed nothing is being withheld from the public lol okay that is not a good look that is actually at no point during this entire

time did i believe that there were shadow aliens more than when i go nothing is being withheld from the public lol oh my god i'm actually laughing at the idea is so great what a shadow you think there were three shadow aliens walking together and they went in between a at the prospect. The idea is so great. What? A shadow alien. You think there were three shadow aliens walking together and they went in between a building

and we attempted to catch them but they were too fast and then they disappeared into shadow using the holograph technology? What? Holy.

That was so much specificity. Why did they link to that? Wait, link to this? Yeah. Me to the aliens if I'd been at the... are they doing dude nbc is so fucking unserious those are funny pretty niche ones like that just 3000 likes this is pretty cool that's like when i got a dm today that someone said to me you were on national tv in poland uh for in a story about VR.

They used B-roll from your VR video. And I was like, dude, me and the freaking alien, dude. We're having the big time. I feel like you should get some. Some kickback? Some Dinar. Some Skrilla. Some doubloons or whatever they use.

Yeah. One person posted what appeared to be an ai image of a generic alien holding shopping shopping bags and joked it was the miami malai why is that in your article that's that's above a different tweet was this written by ai yeah oh an alien one person posted what appeared to be an ai image okay grandpa did your great did your fucking grandkids show you how to print it out on the ipad that's describing the next meme as well they're just describing each meme now was there a person shared it in the golfer tiger woods holding out his hand as if to shake another person's hand with the caption me to the alien if i'd been at the miami mall wild is wild this is insane oh that are just quoting

tweets well is this like um like business insider whatever where a lot of it is contributors who are like not really on staff or is this a real journalist who wrote this oh oh no no email them okay it's a real journalist i don't want to put them on blast. I mean, it's, oh, don't get me wrong. This is just their job. It's just crazy that NBC News doesn't have the due diligence to have like more professional articles. It's weird that they'll publish this. Or like maybe it's a strategy thing. I mean, it is interesting.

I'm sure it's getting more engaged. It's just, I just cannot believe. Who is the audience that you're describing the big dog tiger woods meme to like your grandpa like yeah and then also we don't have to assume it's an ai image i can tell you straight up i can tell you straight up it doesn't appear to be an ai that is not actually the fucking miami mall aliens that an eight to ten v2 that does concern me though because for the future because we are all doomed in a way because uh video you know like photos have kind of been unreliable for a while online you can't trust everything you see it's like it's like don't trust your eyes and ears like uh george orwin's um 1519 or whatever like joni uh joni blowhards 19 uh yeah it was uh uh francis scott keys the star spangled 29

the poe pose new poem yeah the 80s look out f scott fitzgerald's The Roaring 1980s. Fahrenheit. Fahrenheit 1985. We're aliens. Ah, the very book. Ah, Ray Bradbury's Harry Potter 451. Read Tom Clancy's book on birds, yes. The Boy Who Preheated the Oven. To 455.

I don't know. That's all. That Fahrenheit 451 just made me think of setting the oven. Yeah, it's too hot. What is it again? It's something about burning books. Yeah, and firefighters. And I do think a lot of people assume that we're doomed. And to a degree, I see where that's coming from. But i do also think that we are starting to distrust

everything we see which is good because very soon we literally will not be able to tell like right now we have good ai i you know for like the uncanny valley i do fear that that's gonna go away the development speed is where i mean like the meme still is like if it's one of a person they'll have an extra finger extra tooth that's a lot rarer now yeah actually kind of crossed that bridge yeah exactly or like the hair strands of like i've been seeing ai profiles on dating apps right and like uh because i'll like be like on a dating app and i'll be like okay this person's ai and i like match with someone and i was like are you ai or excuse me i was like uh i was like are you a bot they're like they're like no lol they're like why are you AI? Or excuse me. I was like, are you a bot? They're like, no, LOL.

They're like, why would you? And then their account immediately got blasted or whatever. What are you talking about, name? Yeah. And. Can you write me a string of Python code? Yeah. And they're like, I can't do that.

Deaf food, colon. Steam. can't do that death food colon um steam what concerns me about this article is how do you you we need to have a journalistic integrity to call something ai to be able to say something because i don't like i know that this is like a low this doesn't matter right like this is kind of a fluff piece but it does concern me that it's like what appears to be ai art i'm like we need to be able to say for certain we have tools where we can determine sort of probabilistically that something is ai um defaulting like to yes yeah like like like acting on the assumption that it probably is and then proving it wrong yeah and so i i think that we need those tools need to be like kind of in everyone's pocket

yeah it's weird to feel like anytime we tickle like ai skepticism or something i i worry that people generally assume like ah philistine get with the times whatever and it's not so much that it's like we right now the branding of ai as kind of a goofy silly thing is going to do a lot to discredit actual issues with ai in the future just because the technology is not developed yet yeah like what guns are dangerous those things we have to top load and push the gun powder down yeah and i'm not like right now and i'm also not a i'm not anti AI because you know, it's like I You know AI has been around for a lot longer than you know, people have been aware of it I had a minor in artificial intelligence in college and like not that that makes me extra qualified

But I'm just saying that like we're not just any predictive technologies AI now a lot of the technology that exists yeah, AI has just become a buzzword, but um But I do think that it's going to be on platforms too. I do think that if I were to make a prediction, I think that it would be wise to have some sort of server side community note type thing that does like analysis on media, it would be extremely computationally expensive. And I don't know exactly how this would happen. I'm not exactly sure how this would happen, but I do expect to see at some point in the next five years, a tag on something that goes likely AI or something like that. You're obliged to have a watermark or something in the corner or like, and if you, you know, it's kind of like how i'm not against ads like like we will do mid-rolls now and then

yeah and and we will be doing a lot more mid-rolls in the future but it is like it you know it facilitates paying and giving raises to the team and growing the show and doing other things and paying all of our salaries it's i no issue with it, like ethically. We're on an ad based model, you know? It's like we have our Patreon, but that's like, it kind of is in addition. Yeah, but like ethics wise, I think the only unethical move

is to not divulge that it's advertising. And that was criticized what? Five, six years ago was the, when that kicked in as like procedure for YouTube. Yeah, it's like- Four or six years ago was the when that kicked in as like procedure for YouTube. Yeah. It's like been against the law for a while to do undisclosed advertising just in like in

general. But because it serves the people doing like it benefits people to avoid that. Yeah. The Kardashians got sued for like millions of dollars because of by or not sued. They were fined for a lot of und because of, um, by, uh, or not sued. They were fined for a lot of undisclosed brand deals. Yeah.

Right. Um, and that like breaking that sort of trust, cause you need to know when you're being advertised to. And I had a brand recently, um, and I don't care if I get in trouble for saying this, but like I had a brand recently that like a lot of times brands ask for more than they're going to get. It's a part of the negotiation process, but they wanted to do like integrate more integrated using the product, use the product during the video, like have it in the background and I was like, or like, it's like more than just like the mid-roll. Cause when I cut to a mid-roll-roll it's like we know we're in ad time and we're about to watch an advertised sponsored segment right that that is important

like it's a part of the job it's like a going to be a part of the job for the foreseeable future for me and this video is supported by x exactly up front but the thing that i don't like is if my audience needs to know when something is an ad, and if I'm like taking a bite of the influencer bar, the like, if I'm taking a bite of the like super cool snack bar and I- Prime nootropic. I love the super good snack bar and I don't, and it's sponsored by super good snack bar.

Now I don't know i feel like that i'm blending hey jarvis how you doing this week like i'm a little hungry i'm a little honestly i need a i need a snack that'll pick me up and provide me with electrolytes i just had an idea on the patreon only episode this week time to snack party yeah so like that type of thing is like that's a a hard line for me where i said uh literally no or else like there's no deal it's a non-starter because i need the content to i need the audience to know that this is like authentically me and this is a thing i was paid to say yeah and there's people with i mean a lot of audiences have literacy now when it comes to advertising like it not only because people are hiding it less but because they get used to it And there's people with, I mean, a lot of audiences have literacy now when it comes to advertising.

Not only because people are hiding it less, but because they get used to it. It's kind of like when we were growing up and we switched to commercials. We very explicitly know that this is a commercial break. But at one point in time, the idea that online content, it was all still very small bean coded and like, hey, I'm just a guy making making videos and that meant that you would assume that they're just doing it for fun and oh they're bringing up that gambling website because i guess they're just like hanging out i'll say we got an offer from like a brand that sports gambling yeah i'll just say i'm very comfortable yeah it was just like that's another red line where it's like um I'm not going to do any gambling stuff. You know, there's certain things that are more like personal preference.

Like I don't personally like doing alcohol advertisements just because I know that it's a good portion of our audience is below 21. But if there is the right integration for like the right price and it was financing some big project or something that we needed i that's a thing where i could at least have a discussion follow that you know see where that goes but with something like gambling there's under no circumstances could i like ever attach myself to that they literally one life will be fucked up by that yeah post and there is nothing that's like a no start just like any any vices it's like an over time and it's the thing that it's a privilege because it's like over time as we've become more established, we've had the ability to turn down certain things. And then some things feel like feel like they are harmless and then turn out to like not be good or something like there's been a few like near misses for me with brands where i've been like

not sure if i wanted to work with them and then something weird came out and i'm like okay i probably want to steer clear of just this entire class of product but um but that's a privilege because it is hard to tell people where the line is when you're trying to make a living as a independent creator if we couldn can pay the team especially well you know at some point it's like i mean the only way we get to pay them for their work and commitment is by doing this whatever but the hard line in the sand is certainly the gambling thing and with that that was i don't know it wasn't even really a question mark i don't begrudge you no it wasn't a question mark it was a lot of money it was like more than normal or

anything like that but it was the comp the at what at what cost, right? Like you just can't. And it's like, and it's like, you can't buy me with that. Like I can comfortably say like, like, I truly don't think there's a number where I could like do a kick type, like gambling deal. I just can't, it's just so. have to be something where like the commitment was so small and the i the i would not keep the money yeah it would have i would have to be it would have to be like you would i would have to be like it would be have to solve some sort of world problem it would literally just it would have to never even go into my bank account it would literally just have to filter to or like or if like uh they were like um we're gonna shoot jordan in the head if you don't like do this fucking uh uh prize picks ad you'd be like wearing the head yeah i'd be like what does the recovery look like is it recoverable no i'd be like okay fine but everybody would know the context right they turn up i'm like what is why is this sports gambling website here with a revolver i uh this is a separate side note and me and anastasia were talking about it because obviously

i've been getting more into nba this season and just sports in general and it's ridiculous how everything is you have to put blinders on for sports gambling because to enjoy like ESPN has ESPN bet now like they have a whole lot fully integrated that's they have a they have a whole lot fully integrated that's it they have a they have a separate cast where there's like a different there's different shout casters who are like looking to see when people hit the over on certain point spreads and shit like that and i'm like i like i want to play fantasy uh next season like for oh yeah that'd be fun you know yeah but just for fun with friends you know but but doing like just walking into that slippery slope of of gambling especially when it's like sports gambling it's like there's just so many young men who've become victims of this because

they just love the sport and it's become so normalized you want to engage with it more and that really is kind of the only way you know know, I've actually never gambled at Vegas, but I'm not ethically opposed to like playing blackjack or something or playing poker or anything like that. But it's more, that's like how I drink alcohol socially. Or I'm pretty boring actually with all the stuff I do, but there's like lots of stuff. Boring guy, not fun.

Yeah, that's true. But there's like lots of stuff that I may do in my life that i will not advertise because i think there's a difference and also you have to be aware of the audience and the risks right because you're not obviously you can't control what people do but there's like a much bigger risk in certain things with certain behaviors um and you're also making assumptions that everybody's experience of x y is the exact one that you would have especially when it comes to substances like i just don't i don't know i short of some very specific circumstances i don't recommend drugs like in general i don't you know i've had a pretty

decent exposure to most stuff and i never done coke and i never will because i just had that to me is a okay maybe i'm one of the rare few that just does coke socially and then takes myself sure yeah but it's just like not worth checking seemed so unnecessary and i would even if i did i don't think i would ever romanticize drinking culture binge drinking british culture etc i feel like a lot of my involvement with that when i was younger was the result of the culture and not the actual enjoyment i was having and down a pint because then we'll approve of you and with um some with ad stuff you're just not in full creative control of what you say yeah and and so like uh i try to make sure that, you know, when I'm used as the essentially the paid actor for an ad read, the stuff that I'm saying, even like you could get that.

Like, again, this is a personal choice and not like a moral state. It's not like a moral judgment. Do you listen to shows that have done sports gambling? Oh, I mean, I watch the NBA and it's like just unavoidable every fucking dude every uh runescape youtuber that i watch is sponsored by raid shadow legends and fucking honkai star rail and i think i did one where i was going to do one with one of them i did one with raid because i was like everyone this is who cares like like like i'm like i looked looked at stuff about Raid and everybody's like, you know what? They do all the mobile game stuff.

I play Pokemon Go. I spend all my time playing Pokemon Go. And it's like, and everyone who plays the game is like, actually, you know, it's not that bad. And everyone knows it's not like extremely harmful or it's not like actually like gambling or whatever but um but with with sports gambling i i watch so many small creators who are like trying to make a name for themselves in this space and it's really hard for me to pass a moral judgment when you're like trying to get your sort of get your foot in the door and you just can't it's kind of like when i uh i think we've talked about this before like my first job out of college it's like i'm not prioritizing the ethics of the place that i work at as much as i am uh making a living yeah and as

much as like sticking with like your career goal a lot of people get very self-conscious about having a stop gap in between them doing the very proactive like i'm going to college for x i'm going to now get into that exact field it's like i'm moving back home and i'm working retail while i figure that out yeah people have shame about that when ultimately i don't know the hell else are you gonna do until you get a foot in that industry? And that's the point where I just don't begrudge any creator. Yeah, so it's more just, I think of it as a privilege thing. Yeah, certainly.

And also, you know, we have management that filters that and negotiates that in a way where, like, I think I would be, if I was an independent creator and i had these some deals coming in and maybe adsense covers some stuff but first of all there's fees on basically everything you learn as a creator and if especially if you're an independent contractor or just independent uh creator your tax is extremely high there's just like a lot of things that you would need to be cautious of and i would probably be worried if i had like big student loans associated with you know there's a number of reasons why it's easy for me and us. And I would not begrudge them doing a sports gambling deal. I don't know their circumstances.

And I feel bad that anybody would have seen something they might ethically disagree with. I think a lot of people don't have an ethical disagreement with sports gambling because they haven't seen the results of it. Gambling is one of the least valid addictions to people. That and sex addiction are like, well, yeah, it's not real. And sports gambling feels removed a little bit because it's always presented as these like little light. Oh, just five dollars here, five dollars there.

And it's like, that's great if you can do just that sure well when people talk about sports gambling my brain always defaults to like some suburban dads in the neighborhood we got a little pot going 100 bucks each we're gonna see who gets it and not like that seems fun that seems like a good old time but that's not what a sports betting website is you know what i mean yeah it's like it but the thing is it it is like that from the outset. Like it presents like that. But the issue is it becomes so easy. Like it's very easy for me to buy Pokecoins with Apple Pay or whatever.

Just tap, tap and boom, load my account up. Daddy's got to buy some new gift boxes. I bought the Hatchbox this morning. Oh, I do it all the time, dude. Because it's like, it's a hobby. You know what I mean? It's like a lifestyle game and it's a hobby. And it's contributing to me walking tens of kilometers more per week than I normally would. And I'm like, that's great.

And I also could afford to do it. And the upper limit isn't bad. And I've done brand deals with the Pokemon company. And like, there is actually like a, and I sort of do stuff with the Pokemon IP. And I'm happy that I get to kind of have this comp, this kind of combination of like something I actually like enjoy.

And it's tricky. And I think everybody's line is different. But I think people generally understand like like when i did um i did an established titles brand deal yeah uh because we that's the buy a tiny chunk of land in scotland and then um this was before anything came out about them and it to me i was, I was like, oh, fun gag gift. It's kind of like a cute tweet. A cute little certificate or whatever. It's like buying somebody a star.

A star or something like that, where it's like, I don't feel like I own the star, blah, blah, blah. But that's all the stuff that goes on in the emails back and forth. Okay, this seems cute. This seems silly. This seems harmless. And as long as those things are true then you're good turns out it's like kind of based on a like it's not not really doing what it says it's doing even a little bit the money's like not really transparently going to the causes

it's allegedly going to and so i was also lied to you know what i mean so in that situation i just immediately pulled the ad as soon as, and broke a contract as soon as I found out what was going on there because it turned out to not be a harmless thing. And it turns out that I had been sort of, and other creators too, like, I don't think people were blaming creators for this until, you know, you take an established title deal like afterward or whatever. Because, you know, it's like we, everyone was kind of lied to together. Right. And it's like you're, and it's like, I could have done better vetting, but what people don't recognize, what people don't realize is that, you know, we, I generally try to do like vetting myself, but also the agencies that are bringing these brand deals are like the same agencies that are working with so many brands.

So it's like the same brand that brings you, you know, the special shirt, the TZ tuckers or whatever they call it. What are they called? From I think you should be- The little button tucker or whatever, or Dan Flashes. think it's a little button duck or whatever or dan flashes yeah the same the same brand that brings you dan flashes might bring you the this other thing and so nestle and you and you work with them over the years and you like build up trust and you have no problems and then suddenly you know everybody gets caught in this thing and then

it's like i'm not complaining by the way it's, it's my fault at the end of the day. And I, you know, I did the stuff that you're supposed to do, but sometimes that trust is broken. Sometimes mistakes happen, but the goal is to, if you're advertising anything, it's like, you don't want to cause all material harm to anyone. Yeah. I mean, people sometimes ask me why i don't do videos on my channel anymore and you know to be completely honest i was doing them because i already had brand deals now i was having a fun enough time making them but i was constantly flying i was constantly going to and forth from the uk most of my time was still taken up with the the things with my mom and then immigration and

like it was that was just nine to five there was that kind of stuff and also you know you start from zero every time you move countries i'm like oh shit why don't i don't have any glue i need to like fix this thing or i ordered something from amazon it didn't turn up there is just a lot of other focuses but that was my income and then as soon as sad boys covered that the focus shifted because this is fun it's fun to grow it's fun to work on in different different chunks of the production process it's like fun to put together and if i can i was just discussing you know the the all the contributing factors discussing like coming back and working on some newer stuff i think i mean those ads would just go back into the company but that would be with this like oh great the energy i'm getting from sad boys and the enthusiasm and the collaborating

with people now gets to make an another thing that goes on my channel and then feeds back into the sad boys ecosystem yeah and i i now that i don't have that anxiety i just i do feel like a completely different person and that's the sympathy i extend out to those indie creators yeah you know obliged to i mean but but also just like anyone can be like i did more brand deals last year or I think I was like less discerning when I had I gave myself more ad spaces to fill and more videos because just due to some personal stuff that was going on there was more financial strain on me and it's like everything's fine when you're like in your own little bubble but then there are like external factors and people you care about and things that

you need to like uh things that you want to be able to help with. And so like the, in, when those things happen, it's like, okay, well, I can take more, you know, it's like, no one loves doing ads, but it's like one of those things where I just think of the criticism of like, oh, well you can just like make less money or you can like have fewer, like hire fewer people. And those things are all true. But, you know, it's like I want to make sure that, you know, you and our team can all like live a comfortable life and like not stress about these things. Yeah. And that's like has to is, you know, I could not pay the expenses back in the uk i'm not like legally obliged nor you to support me nor the team or but it's what you want to do and it's it's not viable yeah it's like

we're we're figuring it out too at the end of the day and like we're we're trying and i think it's like anything when you're it's like a small business that's all it is it's like a small business so you're just like figuring things things out and i want it to stay a small business. That's all it is. It's just like a small business. So you're just like figuring things, things out. And I want it to stay a small business, you know? Um, but that means like every individual person who's a part of it, it's like, you know, uh, care a lot more cause it's like, not like, uh, cause people are like, I feel like the trust from, you know, it's like our team's like, like really it's like's like five, six people total. And I feel a lot of trust has been put in me from, you know, people who like trusting me with their time with their work and with their careers. And so I also like feel a responsibility to like do right by do right by those people. And if I don't feel like I can do that, in all earnesty, then at the end of the day, I could all just go back to just me by myself. And that's an option too. But working and collaborating allows us to do things like this. And it's like, if I was just working by myself, I don't think I'd be able to do the podcast because I'm just,

my brain doesn't allow it. 05.01 00,00 00,00 00,00 00,00 00,00 00 It's like, you know, you saw with, you know, MatPat is retiring. Is that what all the trending stuff was? Yeah, yeah. He's like

stepping, he sold the company a while back and it's, I think he's stepping back from being a face now on the channels, like starting in March. And that's just a theory, that is. It's a game theory, but it's also the truth. That's just the truth. That's what he, that's how she ended the videos. And that's not just the theory. And that's just the truth. That's what he, that was good in the videos. And that's not just the theory.

And that's the case. Yeah. So like where, you know, him and Tom Scott is someone else who's like, you know, it's like they've been working for so long. So consistently,

so hard, like both of them, very hard workers. Joel Haven, no longer doing weekly videos. Yeah. Yeah. It's like, I respect all of those people for like what they've built. so hard like both of them very hard workers joel haven no longer doing weekly videos yeah yeah it's like i respect all those people for like what they've built and what they've they've also all

been nice to me uh every one of those people has been very nice to me um and uh and so i also get that and i know i'm like a burnout risk so i try to do what I can to like balance what I am capable of. And then like what what's the sweet spot, you know, for for doing what we want to do and also being happy. There's pride in it, too. I think it's like it's a different kind of career and it feels fulfilling to do it right. Like it feels fulfilling to have this team. Oh, yeah. It's a different kind of success, but it's almost like when people, you know,

they had X or Y goal, X or Y age, and then they became a dad. And now it's like, oh, now I want to be a really good dad. I could leave, but I like this part is mutually fulfilling in a just completely different way. And Plex has a different skill set, which is nice too. Yeah, but anyway, conspiracy. That was a conspiracy.

None of it's true. Conspiracy. I don't believe in Jarvis. Don't believe in the shadow Jarvis. What is going on? What is the, can we look up shadow alien? Be careful. What is it?

Whoa, it's me. Shadow illegal alien. How did that happen? Oh yeah, you are the shadow alien, it's your visa. it's me shadow illegally how did that happen oh yeah you are the shadow aliens your visa technically i'm a legal alien though so the only results for shadow alien result in the miami alien they really kind of it's rare to get a phrase going that has good seo with two common ass words so congrats on shadow alien for the people at cbs news and you know the people on uh ufo twitter i guess yeah you fox um what is the episode of ancient aliens called the shadow people 2022 oh wow that show is still going yeah dude season 18 that's respect on kooth millions of people around the world have reported encountering shadowy entities who That's uncouth.

Millions of people around the world have reported encountering shadowy entities who instill fear, shortness of breath. Even fireworks. And he had a mall. And even walk between buildings with two friends. Is it possible that the so-called shadow people are more than mere figments of the imagination? Could they be visitors from other worlds or even other dimensions? No. Mysterious reports of shadow people are handcuffing criminals across the nation.

They wield guns and sometimes they use their power. In good ways only. In, ooh, no, bad ways. Oh, no. And that's why they're shadow. Oh, I see. Right. Not like a good cop. They're cops they're cops not one of the good what if the shadow aliens are cops actually yeah they've just never seen cops before like whoa they all drive the same ufo uh let's move on to our next conspiracy which is the craziest airline shit we've talked about airplanes before. Mostly the Barcelona diarrhea plane. The biological attack. Yeah.

The bio attack from a single man's bowels. Bioterrorism from a tourist. His lower intestine is a bioterrorist. Yeah, he was a victim just as much as anyone. His upper half is not on the no-fly list. Okay, so what I know about this this and we've got some resources thanks to the team is that uh was it the exit door it wasn't an exit door it was where an exit door would have been had there been more seats on the plane so it was called something called a plug

okay so thank you jay until you buy coke so it's like a space though in the plane where an exit store would have gone and it just like blew out in the middle of the flight so then there's just this gaping hole in the flight in the plane oh you're not supposed to have those and it did it suck out the seats parts of them. It sucked out parts of the seats. And then they had to emergency land the plane. No one was harmed. So that's nice. I guess you just open the doors in a plane then.

Go ahead if you're flying soon. I mean, that's what D.B. Cooper did. Yeah, that's true. Yeah. You can, and as a result, Skylaw, not illegal. Yeah. That's what D.B. Cooper did. And then he landed in my backyard.

And that's where he lives to this day. I take that out of the podcast. Conspiracy. Conspiracy. DB Cooper's in my house. It is really loud. His name is Dan. Booey.

Booey. Booey. They call him Booey because he floats in the water. I guess you would have to have. So because we live in the age of TikTok, much unlike the shadow aliens conspiracy, there's a ton of video evidence of this. Oh, yeah.

And a ton of people just on the plane going, holy shit, there's 200 cops on this plane. Yeah, the cops are all like, they're all trying to get to the sky. They're trying to hit it with the cops. No, they're like fast and furious into the sky. This is like a lot of people's fears about planes now these things i have to say this every time uh what is the logical fallacy called um

it's a form of selection bias but let's look this up it's it's when you think um plane crashes are more common because you see them on news all the time oh it's it's the availability heuristic okay um wait did i just remember that all by myself yes the availability heuristic i did it i did it i get i i re-earned my a in psychology um availability heur, when asked if falling airplane parts or shark attacks are more likely cause of death in the United States, most people will say shark attacks. In reality, okay, well, I don't know why they said flying airplane parts. But anyway, I understand that a lot of people fear flying. And even stories like this,

I want to remind us of the availability heuristic. Because every single time a plane crashes or there's something with a plane, it makes national news because everyone has this fear already. So you have access to so many, in your brain, you have access to so many events of bad things happening with planes that you think that it is a much more common event than is actually common whereas like car crashes are so mundane and every day that you they're not news they would never be reported on they never reported on 2 000 car pileup yeah and it's like uh jacob can you google how many people die in car crashes a day not to get dark 3 700 people die in car crashes a day? Not to get dark. 3,700 people die in car crashes every day around the world. Yeah, wow.

Can you look up how many people die from karate? Will you now look up how many people die from plane crashes around the world? Or even COVID right now. People are acting like covid like disappeared um but being treated like flu was before covid happened but the um infection rate is still really high the mortality rate is still really high the like long covid is still something that we're trying to understand it's still coronavirus like it is still the thing that got really bad so anyway all i all i wanted to say is before we get

into this story conspiracy um but then turn off the music for this fact i i think the stories like this i just want to acknowledge the risk of covering them can contribute to uh the availability heuristic and the fear of flying i will continue to fly i don't have any fear of flying i'm like a stats guy and i know how risky it is to cross the street. You know what I mean? Versus like getting in a flight. It's definitely a world approach because phobia style fears for me are just eliminated as soon as I know the numbers. It just works. Like if somebody tells me- Yeah. And not everybody's built that way. Which is also, you're valid if you have a phobia. Obviously you're valid if you have a phobia. Sorry if I made it seem like-

Sorry if you're a big baby. Yeah, sorry. Sorry. I have a couple of stats you're valid if you have a phobia sorry if i made it seem like you're a big baby yes or it's like um i have i have a couple stats now oh hit us okay so the chances of dying in an airplane crash are less than one in 11 million yeah the chances of dying in a car crash are one in 93 that is so crazy that is that That is like on the order of like 100,000 times more likely. That's also not, that does not include collisions. Wait, no. Sorry, I did the math wrong. One in 11 million, one in 93. So that is to get 93 million,

you would have to multiply one by 9 million. Yeah. 118,000 times more likely. I did it right the first time. Yeah. All right. Well, my brain does math fast and then I second guess myself. Okay.

Yeah. It's 100,000 times more likely to. Yeah. And that's just deaths also. That's not car crashes. Yeah. That's likelihood car crashes. Yeah. That's likelihood of dying in a car crash. Wait, what is the one in 93?

The likelihood of. The chances of dying in a car crash. Not getting into a car crash. 93. What is an event though for that? That's true. Because I'm like, is it getting into a car? It means it's one of your 93.

Because I feel like we wouldn't be driving it was falling into the engine it's like you're more likely to get into a car crash and to get a fucking shiny ev yeah they're saying yeah there's like a seven percent chance you'll die if you get in a car crash oh yeah that's true yeah what so less than one percent of crashes are deadly but okay so maybe it's the one in 93 was like the chances of dying in a car crash uh but but that is that if you're that's if you're already in a car crash or if chance of a car crash happening happening. Okay. This is from the, this is from e-surance. So it's the insurance people,

you know, it's good. Maybe, I don't know. E-surance says your odds of getting involved in a car accident are one crash out of 366 for every 1000 miles distance driven so every 1000 miles there's a one in 366 chance that you get into an accident which is like still pretty common uh oh yeah and then and then then there's a less than one percent chance that it's fatal but uh that number is still so far away from 11 million. It would be, it is essentially practically impossible to get murked in a plane, in a flight, if you tried for your entire life.

Yeah, that's true. Short of blowing up the plane yourself. Which is why there are people who fly every day for decades and are, you know, not at risk of... Okay, I have driven my car for 14,000 miles. Oh, you're overdoing it. Yeah. I'm going to make sure that it happens, all right?

Yeah. I mean, we're also accounting for, like, the source of a lot of conspiracies in general and also a lot of irrational fears and like aside from like trauma triggering them and there being a specific reason people in general really don't like feeling powerless like it's unsettling to not feel like you have control that's why some people don't like drinking and some people just don't like some people don't like being passengers in cars and not driving themselves or vice versa and i i just don't personally have too much worry about that. But I think one of the reasons people hated the vaccine or were so scared of the vaccine is because they don't understand it. But they've also never understood any vaccine that they've had

or never really understood. They don't know how nutrition works and they don't know how a car works. And people who have drunk drive also refuse to get the vaccine. There's no real correlation between like actually how dangerous it is or how much info they have. But the worst feeling in the world is someone jumping up behind you, scaring you, and then they disappear. You want to know who it was and you want to be ready to learn

and defend yourself in the future. And I think when the door blows off a plane, it's like, well, shit, man, I'm not flying the plane. In fact, I'm not scared of flying at all and then on that last flight we had like really heavy turbulence the person i was with is pretty nervous about flying right so my focus was so much on them that i didn't display any nervousness but every time that happens i just feel like hey can one of the flight attendants come out even if they're lying come out and and go, hi, I'm a flight attendant.

I do this every single day of my life. And this is completely normal. I do this multiple times a day, every single day. Don't be scared. This has happened 5,000 times in my life. And I've just something, because then all of us feeling powerless can go like, oh, well, the doctor did the surgery

or the doctor told me that the blood tests were actually fine. As opposed to me having to be like, well the the doctor did the surgery or the doctor told me that the blood tests were actually fine uh as opposed to me having to be like how many numbers for anyone following um along at home this is going to be great if i die knock on wood uh jarvis's chances of dying uh so far this is like the micromorts thing but anyway um so uh i did the math you know like the cumulative probability of like multiple events or whatever. So there's been 14, I've driven 14,000 miles in the past like year, not that much. I don't drive that much. So that's 14 events of a thousand, a thousand miles. So that's 14, one in 366 chances, which when you do the math, I have a 4% chance that I've gotten into an accident by now. 4% chance given if someone drives 14,000 miles right now,

4% chance of getting into an accident. What's the chance if maybe someone were to sabotage your brakes? 100%. But if you take that 1% chance of fatality rate, now it's four-tenths of a percent chance that you die. So if the car exploded, maybe. Why are you trying to kill me? I'm not trying to kill you until you sign my name in the will.

Okay, I got super distracted on that, by the way. Conspiracy. The conspiracy is that I'm going to murder Travis. So, yes, there's a bunch of first-hand accounts of this this is a little uh trigger warning if you have a phobia flying because i do think that this would activate that oh yeah yeah it wasn't the door weirdly right that was the i mean i guess we'll find out but yeah well no it was a so it's uh what jacob described as the plug which is like where the door would go so it is a probably like a cut

out in the plane oh like the template of the construction has it but the yeah because the plane doesn't have enough seats for it um okay can we watch one of these tiktoks yeah little death talk sorry conspiracy oh i don't believe in shadow death. Our plane from Portland to Ontario had to have an emergency landing due to a window bursting mid-flight. What, what? Oh, what, what? Uh, my staff now are treated. Oh, I was going to say. They're being seated for us for now.

Once they're treated treated we'll go ahead and then declaim but uh let's just stay seated and uh dude i was terrified they were gonna say once the door's back on we'll go ahead and take off again uh sorry about that we forgot to put the padlock on it or whatever so that's the one that kind of like a lot of media outlets that photo is crazy i thought you i know it's just from movies or whatever you get sucked out flew out of the plane so it gets depressurized when you go in yeah well it it the cabin is pressurized but then when the doors open that obviously fucks with the pressure so i don't know what like i mean i'm sure you get the bends or whatever. I'm like, was everybody locked in their seats when that happened?

Yeah. So after I did a pretty deep dive on this. Okay, great. Thank you. What happened was the door flew off only 20 minutes after they had taken off. Oh, my God. So they were only 16,000 feet in the air as opposed to like like 40 000 whatever like cruising altitude is um so they weren't like at a dangerously low pressure right but it did like it was enough

for them to like have to use the oxygen masks and stuff right um and it was definitely windy and some people's like things got sucked out um but thankfully like no one was like you know sitting in that row next to the window yeah i saw um there's a guy in like the fighting game community i saw a tweet from him who was like i never miss flights and this was my flight oh oh dude he's like a Frank Lapidus. And so, yeah, this is where some of these actual conspiracies come in.

Cause, um, there's just a lot of fear that, you know, people are, um, people are cutting corners and inspections and shit like that. Um,

that, that, that's like a legitimate fear. Cause there was that other, um, accident with the boeing plane the boeing max 8 yeah yeah well i mean that i think as far as conspiracies go that's kind of the issue with like conspiracy theorists indulging in exciting and fun conspiracies is that

even the word conspiracy is devalued as a discussion point. Because people conspire. People in positions of people in power absolutely conspire to benefit themselves. Fucking Epstein flight logs are enough to communicate that to you. Yeah, yeah. But, by the way, even if you're one of those extremely wrong people that thought Epstein

kicked his own bucket, still was able to operate for a very long time with the defense of famous, powerful people so they didn't get in trouble. Prince Andrew still was able to operate for a very long time with the defense of famous powerful people so they didn't get in trouble yeah prince andrew was just able to oh there's some there's some crazy stuff with uh what alex acosta the uh i want to say the attorney general of the state of florida or something at the time where he like took this like super light basically epsom got this famous sweetheart deal where he was like able to walk and then that they were not like um or he it wasn't it wasn't he was able to walk it was like he was able he

went to jail for like a year or something where he could leave and go to work and shit and like he just had to return at night the house arrested jail yeah it was like something super like lax and you wonder how that stuff happens when someone's like a real risk to to people and you know some shit probably went down it's because people in power conspired including himself that's conspiring in his own case conspired to to give him as much flexibility and power as possible because it benefited them and him and the right people were compensated the right amount but when the word conspiracy now comes up it's associated with oh yeah i saw a shadow beast and he went to the mall

he went to a champ to the mall and got some nikes yeah it's like we have this habit of conflating terms till they don't mean anything yeah like ai like conspiracy gaslighting is gaslighting is another thing yeah it doesn't it's not always gaslighting could we go back to that snipe socks tweet i wanted to shout out this person for the goaded move of missing your flight this was yeah this is a content creator and streamer um and uh and a caster apparently for brawl holla and they're like this was my flight yesterday i never missed flights but yesterday i did One of the emergency exits got blown off mid-flight

and the two seats next to the exit got sucked off the plane. One of those seats were mine. Missing my flight yesterday saved my life. And I'm like- Praise God. Yeah.

Well, I don't know. I feel like God might have pulled the seat off. Well, this is- So this is the conspiracy we were going to talk about, which is the burnt toast theory. Are you familiar with this?

I had the term, is it like when jesus is on toast yeah it's when you burn your toast no and it's sick oh some people like that freaking awesome dude oh that would suck dude you know what i love is those little crispy crunchy burnt edges of like a bagel or something. Oh, yeah. Mm. Yummy, yummy.

Raisin sultana bagel with savory topping. Hello. I have like half of one down there. I think this person proves that it was their seat like later in the thread. We don't have to look at it, but I feel like they'd have no reason to lie about this considering they're not in a um they're not in like a shit posting career it was like a random shit post guy i was like this person has a different like public facing job yeah they don't work for like ryanair

yeah yeah shut them down um but i don't know who knows blown off mid-flight same here pal mile high club oh yeah um okay let's go you were you had some other stuff you're gonna show us jacob yeah this was another angle of in in flight it was alaska airlines yeah dude it was going from portland to la but it's not a very long flight wait wasn't there something with ontario too oh it was that guy had a connection i guess guess. Ontario, California. Ontario, California. Yeah. Oh, that reminds me. One time I was in a plane and I fell asleep.

Yeah, shout out. Shout out to the sky. And I was asleep, right? I wake up. I hear we're making an emergency landing in Ontario. And I go, what? Ew, Canada. We're going to Canada. I was going to like Seattle or something.

I was like, why are we going to Canada? I guess I'm going to go back to sleep. And then I woke up fully thinking I was going to Canada for some reason. And then I realized that it was Ontario, California. And then I was like, now I got to,

they were like, we're not gonna find another plane you just have to find a ride home so then i had to like get an uber from like ontario california to like my house geez was that uh when you're living in la or san francisco yeah i want to it was recent um it was like in april of last year or something i don't know where i was traveling to why did they make the landing some maybe some sort of yeah they were like the plane said oh my tummy i hate flying i saw a shadowy beast get him get him um the ontario shadows what the heck there's a shadow below us.

He's chasing me. He's on our tail. And midday he disappears. He comes back in the afternoon. Okay, yeah, we can watch this. That's wild. That is, by the way, I would be so scared to pull my phone out.

They're thinking the same thing. Oh my God. I know. They decided to go club Alaska. At least it looks cool. Yeah, well, they didn't know that it was like a cutout, I guess, for the emergency exit. Even when you get to the emergency door, we're at the end of the plane, so the emergency door is right there. And it's just a piece of the plane. I wonder if this is going to, like, they're going to retrofit a door onto those in the future and just remove the seats that would block it.

I don't even know what that means. Yeah, I'm so, okay, so what did you learn about, like, what else did you learn, Jacob? I'm so curious. I thought we were saying that's the pilot. so what did you learn about like what else did you learn jacob i'm so curious i thought we were saying that's the pilot so what did we learn so what did we learn don't fly don't fly like that um it was a relatively new plane it was yeah the max nine because they grounded the i remember the 737 max had like two crashes last year and it was a new it was like a new it was the yeah the max 8 had a crash in late 2018 and early 2019 and then they grounded all of the max planes for like 20 months oh jesus right so that was crazy and then you know the max 9 comes out late this last year um just a couple months ago and now

they're already having problems with it that's great because i remember hearing all this stuff about boeing like not cutting corners but like they were doing the investigation they were they were like things that weren't caught boeing ceo admits error yeah i'll say yeah well that's good they grounded 170 170 jets after the incident. One of our friends, shout out Nezrin, a Sad Boys guest, former guest. On her story, she was like flying somewhere and she was like, my plane got grounded because it was the one that had the thing blow off. Hey, why are they making new planes? Well, that's interesting.

I mean, that's the thing. Out of wing, at least that's yeah it's crazy because i mean the technology is like a lot of the technology they're adding is like for safety and stuff you know that's the thing that's so that's why it's so ironic or i guess ironic don't worry nothing else could go wrong it's just the door part yeah that's also the most like i don't know if embarrassing is the right way but like optics wise the worst way for something to go wrong with the plane yeah we have a fuel leak okay they have a lot of reserve fuel they can land it's still a bad piece of news but there's no video footage of it this is jesus no it's crazy so bad oh wait what was the burnt toast thing? Oh, yeah.

Well, so the burnt toast theory is that burnt toast theory to me is the small inconveniences like burning your toast or like missing a flight are actually saving you from like a grander bad event or a greater consequence. Right. They said the two people who were supposed to sit there missed their flights is it so that's that's the thing the idea for burnt toast theory is that they missed their flights which is the inconvenience but it actually saved them from being in the situation having a bad flight didn't save their lives no it like the theory is it could have saved their lives because they

would have they were the people who were would have theoretically died were in those seats yeah they they those seats were not populated those people missed their flight um oh that's not them there oh no no there's like two other there's like seats right next to that area which may have like dislodged or something like that parts of the seat uh flew out of the plane oh yeah oh why did they why did they miss that flight we should find out i don't know they're just bad we should ask that snipe socks yeah well i guess he was oh he just missed the flight also yeah he was well because he had the seat number that was supposed to be like over there. A 10-foot alien visited them and said, don't take your flight today. Yeah.

The burnt alien theory. Yeah. 50 teenagers set off fireworks in their house. Don't go on the plane. He lives in Miami. They were shooting the house. Don't do it. Don't do it.

We have news. The cops are in the way. They're there to arrest the plane. So, okay. So the CEO, they didn't say anything of note or did they say anything um the ceo apparently just made a statement to employees saying that the company quote would ensure an accident like the mid-air alaska airlines panel blowout can never happen again gorilla glue yeah extra screening from tsa but yeah make sure that make sure that no um

no doors make it on the plane let's make sure all the bits are on yeah that'll be the sweet checking apparently in their investigation so far they have found other max nines that have had loose door plugs that's crazy crazy. That's the first. Okay. Do we have wings? That's going to be like check number one. Are they falling off? Is there a bit at the front with all the controls?

And then are the doors closed and functional before everything else? In these situations, my brain always goes, this is probably a situation where the bigwigs are trying to cut costs. They're cutting corners. And then the people doing the work are probably overworked or asked to do more because the people want to, because they've got investors and they want to increase quarterly profits by certain numbers. And then those things, those bottom lines become more important than safety. And this is like why, you know, this is why, this is like a critique, I think of like a free market system, right? Oh yeah. Because left to their own devices devices when everyone prioritizes profit you

need catastrophic horrible things to happen in order for change and one would argue that you don't want a door to fly off before you make sure the doors can't fly off you know what i mean and the truth is is this is not going to have that negative an impact on their revenue it's going to be a story for a week. And most people aren't going to know which airline it is. They're just going to know that it happened to a plane. They're not going to know which plane it happened to. And they want to go home for Thanksgiving.

They're not going to fucking like it. Well, it's like, it's also like, who else are you going to buy a plane from? You know, like, because like Boeing is like the main um american plane manufacturer and i think historically they do have the best safety record i think yeah this one dinged them huh yeah this one really dinged i know but but it's still only one yeah no but i'm like but then yeah compared to the alternatives uh but i don't know. Cause I know that the, I think it was like Airbus used to not have the best record, but then they've become like direct competitors. And then they have like different focuses.

I think like maybe Boeing is working more on like the self-flying stuff and like those types of things. But I don't know. There's so many automated systems inside of planes. It's like a modern Marvel that planes work. We should. Shout out Wright Brothers. Let's focus on like all the bits of it.

You know what I mean? As far as manufacturing and maintenance goes, let's get people to check all the bits of the plane. I think that's actually a really good thing they probably haven't thought of. We should send 20 cop cars. To shoot the door, see how strong it is okay you ever seen those videos of the planes being stress tested oh the wings terrifying uh can i just sorry on the conspiracy point that first one statement of the two people that's supposed to sit in those seats that is that's

great cool remarkable uh i don't so much believe like it being a cosmic thing but it's cool oh yeah yeah the other burnt toast theory burnt toast this is just definition of it i guess burnt toast theory if you burn your toast in the morning the time you spend making another toast i don't know if i'd call it a toast yeah i do make another toast may have saved you from a car accident that is some american exceptionalism bullshit there's some protagonist mindset stuff yeah like well i'm the main character so actually because what it could also be is that you burnt your toes i do sometimes think about uh existing as the main character because like like it raises the question of um you know like what happens when you die it's like the plot has to continue

they can't kill off the main character type type thing it's funny to think about yeah it's like i have plot armor that's what that's what burnt toast theory is it's plot armor it's also kind of a cope it's like no you're just bad at making toast yeah sorry um one time uh i'm actually really proud of myself i feel like normally this would like make me upset. One time it was like wet in San Francisco and I was going, I was walking to the bar to take the train to work. And I remember I slipped, I had like brand new white shoes on.

I like slipped and I like fell into the mud or something. And I got like mud all over everything. And then I just like picked myself up i like i scraped myself up too i like went back home i like put everything in like the dirty clothes like got changed or took a shower got back in bed and like pretended like i was starting my day over oh that's fun yeah burnt some toast yeah burned a little toast. Made another toast. How many toasts do you want? That probably saved me from... Falling in the mud a second time?

Yeah, that saved me from falling in the mud. Maybe your fit sucked. Maybe you looked like shit and it didn't want you to wear it. If that hadn't happened, then I would have fallen in the mud. Yeah. You would have worn those board shorts with the tear in the back that you were wearing that day. Right, right. I rubbed my pants like SpongeBob.ob yeah your zip was open your penis was out

yeah just fully full full hog and then jesus like we have to fucking yeah he was on the toast he was on the toast he started talking from the toes go back yeah that's what he'll say he's like the pop tart just clip the pop tart guy that they um they killed live on air at the football game they they set it up beforehand there's like a clip of the announcer going um there's a clip of the announcer going unfortunately he will die tonight like he's god yeah it's so funny he he must exit this mortal coil um okay the someone found the phone and then a man found the door oh that's what i assumed they were just showing something on their phone so i want to see these tiktoks this guy claims he found a phone that got sucked

out of the alaska airline he claims part of its wall mid-flight and apparently it still works sean bates said that he was walking on a road in oregon when he came across an iphone that opened to a screen showing the flight information and orders for air alaska flight 1282. he also noted that a piece of the charger was still partially in the port the rest of the charger was likely ripped out from the 16 000 foot fall from the sky in a follow-up video on tick tock bates rest of the charger was likely ripped out from the 16,000 foot fall from the sky. In a follow up video on TikTok, Bates said that the phone was still in airplane mode, didn't have a lock screen on it, so he was able to clue where the phone had flown, I mean came from. Bates said the National Transportation Board told him that

it was the second phone to be found that was believed to come from the Alaska Airlines flight. But the real question that everybody wants to know, what case was this person using that their phone survived that? This guy claims he found a- Oh, I know the answer to that. It doesn't matter because they're lying. Or it's just like- Why is that open?

Yeah, I don't know why it doesn't have a lock screen. That's what I do, dude. First thing I do when I get on a flight and we are mid-flight is I keep my flight receipt open. Yeah. I don't listen to music. I don't watch the the the wall has been blown out of the plane and you're like one last thing before you go just to confirm um i do think it's like possible that it could fall from that high oh yeah because it's like especially if it falls in the woods and um yeah it's i mean it's also not good it's not gonna like pick up a lot

of speed right exactly it's like it's yeah well um you know it hits terminal velocity yeah it's just not gonna land in the grass it's a soft it going to pick up the same amount of speed. What is this? Oh, how could an iPhone survive a fall from a plane? But not a fall. Well, it's like if it falls into a fucking, not from your pocket. Well, it's falling into leaves. That's different.

Also, if it falls, you know, like people have survived plane crashes crashes yeah i could by like hitting or people have fallen fallen from cliffs and survived because they like hit some branches and bounce around and it kind of breaks their it kind of breaks their fall in a way um so i that could happen i I, hey, hey. But this is a baseball cap. This is a full fedora. This guy claims he found the phone. It's the receipt being on the pay. I don't, why even lie about that? The crazy thing would be like, the most unethical ad would be if he turned it around

and it just had a giant Otterbox logo on the case. Oh, dude, someone even said Otterbox in the comments. Yeah, yeah. Who sponsored that? Like it just says, like, unbreakable by Otterbox. Plain safe. Okay, I don't know about that. But did the guy really find the door?

Or did he take a screenshot of a fake door and print it out? He found it before it broke off. That's the door. Or did he take a screenshot of a fake door printed out? He found it before it broke off. That's his door. It was actually a friend of mine who lives in the neighborhood. In one piece? That I go check my backyard because people were looking everywhere around for the door. I thought, yeah, sure. It's not very likely that it's in my backyard.

So I didn't do anything for a while. I got my flashlight and went around to the back, which is very dark because I planted a forest back there. I could see that there was something gleaming white underneath the trees in the back that isn't normally there. My heart didn't start beating a little faster at that point because I thought, oh my goodness, people have been looking for this all weekend. And it looks like it's in my backyard. This guy rocks. He's very sweet. He's very physics teacher energy.

There's a piece of this plane in my backyard that's not normally that i'm not i'm a sucker for a high school physics teacher there's almost never playing he seems like he'd be really nice and he could maybe explain to me how the door didn't break apart and how the auto box uh was able to protect the phone yeah well i guess if it fell in his yard you saw how much he planted a forest back there he did i heard that actually yeah there's a bunch of easter eggs in that story he's like i planted a forest what do you mean he also planted some easter eggs that's a very portland event might be right yeah yeah that's why it's that's why it's uh all the hipsters all the lumberjacks uh the fake lumberjacks aren't like everyone in Portland's a fake lumberjack. So all the trees are not cut down. They're all like holding a replica racks.

Yeah. $2,000 on a plaid shirt. All right. Last. I believe him. I think that's, I believe him. I don't know where you get that. Otherwise.

Yeah. Yeah. Um, it was like on Yahoo news. I'm like, what? I hopefully they fucking checked, but he seems I'm, I'm, I'm, I've got high school physics teacher bias, so I trust him. Oh my God. Sorry. Can we talk about the guy who got stuck in the fucking face?

That is the beginning and end of our commentary because that is the funniest. It's just the funniest thing. It is. Yeah, it's. It's what's his face from Elden Ring? Dude, this is this whole race. Ooh, I wish someone would get me out of this hole. I was bored at the wedding and I wanted to draw a little attention to myself.

He spins around with two swords. I'm doing everything I fucking can! God damn it! Why is he mad? down man did they put him in yeah did he get put into it like a bully maybe stuff him into a locker maybe he's always lived in there and they're breaking in um get away from my house yeah how dare you i gotta get away from my house leave now hopefully that's in jest right like maybe he's jokingly yelling at everyone no dude I think he's got a

like arm stuck in a banister you know just like panic the fear is taking over and everyone's drunk no one's putting olive oil on him I did like someone can you keep playing it my sweater all parts of my belt are getting in shit I did like someone can you keep playing it? nothing but like i do almost my entire friend group at college and you know nothing but love to white women but drunk white women have a superhero complex it is like i'm here so

everybody move aside i've got a problem i've i some, like, I don't remember where it was. It was like maybe my second or third year of college. There was a mugging that happened outside of a club. And like an hour later, small town, not a lot of cops or anything, but there's two police officers doing their rounds, chatting to people that might have seen something. And they were swarmed with white women all of them come up and like i can help solve the case give me let me let me talk to them or if like one person gets

broken up with and they're crying outside the club 30 white women just like surrounding them there truly is a and it's well intentioned it's altruism but the fact that like he's just like my knees are fucking stuck and she's like like, worry not. I can solve this. I'll take charge. Like one of those, when there's like the lights are out at an intersection and there's the people with the little flags. Right.

So he got out of the vase, right? He's not like still in it today. He's hopping to work. He's not doing like the thing. Yeah, this is wild. i mean so many questions if it comes out that like he did not put himself in the vase then i'll feel a little bad um but it kind of feels like he put himself oh they broke it with a hammer yeah of course he saw other people do it and it looked fun to him okay well then you brought that upon yourself. It looked fun.

Does it? Dude, when the wedding is so boring, you're putting yourself into a vase to have fun. God, that looks fun. I will say though, Jarvis, looking at it now, that looks fun. It is. I am imagining the moment where everyone's laughing along with him. Yeah. And thinking he's doing a bit

and then he goes no guys oh it's serious no that that gets my heart rate up i can't get out of the vase i don't like the idea of like pain like it's kicking and i tried to get out and i've drenched my knee and i'm like get me out get me out like i need to yeah can i stay the claustrophobia 99 of those people are not being helpful and even the people being helpful are all talking at the same time what could the guy to the left frame what could he possibly be doing yeah i'm gonna massage the vase whisper to it i'm gonna activate a frequency that will crack also it looks like an expensive bar so yeah i'm glad it wasn't like made of the first thing i thought was oh just break it the second thing i thought was what wasn't like made of... The first thing I thought was, oh, just break it. The second thing I thought was, what if it's made of like iron or something? Yeah.

That would be scary. They have to use a blowtorch. Oh, dude, scary. I mean, they have to be... Did it say who... Did the fire department come to it or like somebody had the genius innovation to get a hammer? Someone had like a comically tiny hammer in their purse. Ding, ding.

Okay, here's my conspiracy. What if they staged this? What if this is a scene from a movie? This is promo. No, I don't know what you would be. Maybe it's an ad for hammers. I don't know what the end game would be. It's an ad for weddings.

But this is something that like I'm starting, like the more you know how people like film sketches at like events and stuff now? I feel like this is the type of thing that's like, oh, this will do it for the Gram. I'm going to start staging things like this so we have more things to talk about on the podcast. Yeah, yeah.

It's always Jacob. Yeah, Jarvis got his head stuck between two banisters. Someone cut Jarvis' brakes and then got his inheritance. What? I didn't say shit. Jarvis was oiled up to get out of a vase, but then was driving and slipped out of the seatbelt and flew through the windshield because he was so oiled up.

He was so damp. He was so slippery, dude. He couldn't be held down by anything. Who would have done that? Who oiled me up? You open my phone and it's an email receipt of olive oil. Yeah. This phone was found on the scene.

It's just dripping wet. I can't open it. Oh, dude. I cannot get over the fact that he was like no it looked fun did it fun so i did it tell me with a straight face you wouldn't get in a vase all right yeah you're right it looks fun what can i say i think i would you know before I get into the vase, because I, look, I would probably get in the vase. Hey, I'm fun.

I'm fun. I like to have a good time, especially at a wedding. Nothing is happening at the wedding. Maybe they didn't get married. Maybe they fell off. They're like doing their vows and he's like trying to get, he's like, I'm in the vase. Yeah, you could just be like, help me. Yeah, you get caught in the vase the other way.

Running around. He looked like a Goomba. He had to jump on his head to free him. Yeah, that's wild. Next conspiracy, real conspiracy. Last one. I didn't watch the Golden Globes. I just scrolled on Twitter while the Golden Globes were happening. Yeah, we didn't watch the Golden Globes because we're human beings

in the real world. No one has ever seen the Golden Globes. I'm like a huge Joe Coy fan, so normally I would drop everything I'm doing to watch any joke that that guy's performing.

Yeah, I know his strongest material is going to be from the writing team of 30 people. I heard he had 10 days to write the material, so I was like, whoo-wee,

this is going to be something. Look at airplane food. Girls always have crystals. There was some sort of live feed online for the Golden Globes where if you went to it, it was just this table with Timothee Chalamet and Kylie Jenner talking sweet nothings to each other,

which felt very invasive. Yeah. All manufactured, I guess, is maybe the claim for some people. I guess, yeah. But I'm like, it's not so exhausting to manufacture everything. yeah all manufactured i guess is probably maybe the claim for some people i guess yeah but i'm like it's not so exhausting to manufacture everything don't get horny on main and don't get horny on cam you know what i mean just like hang out another time yeah it is interesting but yeah and then they they kissed and then it was like a weird like it was a peck because i i assume it was because she was in like full face of makeup

probably needed to be on camera didn't want to mess anything up um but people read into that because people like they were like freeze frame their lips aren't touching yeah yeah yeah because you're not allowed to touch lips if you're not really dating someone it doesn't work there's a little force field that gets in the way it's an at field shout out to evangelion fans i have kissed people so i know how it works and it's just it's just like just this on a feed oh okay uh wait play it back let's do let's do the voiceover i just think it's really fucked up that you how am i supposed to pronounce your name did you know i was in one car i was just is it timothy or timothy it's charlie in the chocolate factory i love this sparkly i remember look taste of chocolate it's on my lips yeah can you give me just a little thank you that's the one makes you

fly wait one more time this really sounds like right did you see the guy who got caught in that vase and it actually i don't really look at memes i'm cool in french or something oh i love memes i love scrolling and being normal check it out i found a door in the forest i built a point of forest i found the phone look at these lips what the hell don't touch them sponsor my auto box yeah maybe they hold it up they hold it up all right so so then um so so that was going on because they're dating and then some people like stands and stuff believe it's like maybe a staged relationship so i think that's why they took that very kiss very sane very normal thing to do yeah because

people are really engaged in their love lives just a very balanced way to be um and so then selena gomez and taylor swift are. They're besties, I think. I don't know. Are they besties? We're going to get in trouble if they're not. They're buddies. Actually, they're besties. We are the arbiters of this.

We have a platform. And so the word on the street is that Selena Gomez was going to her bestie, Taylor Swift. At the event. At the event. At the Golden Globes. Saying, she didn't let me get a photo with Timothy. She? Unknown she?

Oh, Kylie. Oh. Like, apparently. People lip read this conversation, which is also just so weird. They lip read this conversation and then said, she's saying, I asked him to get a photo and she said no. And then just like, who? And she goes, Kylie. And then this other girl, no, this other girl on the side says, Kylie?

And she goes, yeah. I asked for a picture with him. She said no. Oh. Whoa. I don't even know if i read those words okay let me look at it without let me like look at let me really study play the music again no she wait what i look i don't know how to lip read okay i think there cannot be enough people that are genuinely very good at lip reading to have a consensus for stance not that there could be a hundred thousand people that watch this video and are capable of lip reading for whatever reason the 18 million views that this has i do not think is related to the comments say the millions of i want to see people disagreeing i want to see strife and

confusion i want to see rife the um i'm sorry but like who says no to Selena Gomez? What does Selena Gomez do these days? She like in movies? Uh, she's in a show. Oh, that's right. She's doing really well. With Steve Martin and Mark Short. Yeah. The, no murders in the building.

She's slaying. She's mother actually. She's mothering. If this is real, that's so silly because they literally know each other and they've done a movie together. Mm-hmm. True. Good.

Is this true? This is like when people were not photographed together and then people were like, what happened to Jordan? What the hell? Is Jordan being replaced? Yes. Is Jarvis? Wait, no. I've never seen them apart.

It was actually. I can't even remember. Maybe this is the show. Well, that was. I think I know what you're thinking of, but I didn't want to say that. Yeah. Just out of respect. I don't even remember where it was. It was a VidCon. Well, that was, I think I know what you're thinking of, but I didn't want to say that. Yeah. Just out of respect. I don't even remember where it was.

It was a VidCon. Oh, of course. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Where are the people getting this monologue? Are they talking about the people they're bringing? Yeah, yeah. I just know these are the coolest girls in Hollywood. That person's having the time of their life.

It's unrelated. Sure. I just know it, okay? I just know. I don't know life. It's unrelated. Sure. I just know it. Okay. I just know. I don't know, but it's just a thought. But does anyone even consider that she might not have been talking about something else? Or someone else. Like literally.

There's like a similar thing. Like people are like this. Savannah James, LeBron James's partner, wife. Nice. james lebron james's uh partner wife um nice like there was some story about how she doesn't take photos with men and only takes photos with women and then every alpha dude was like because she's she's the last good one left because she knows how to respect her man and not like do anything to whatever and then uh there's like a guy who like took a selfie with her in the background. She like poses for it.

And then it just like immediately undercuts that entire like narrative. It's just so, they're so thirsty for validation of that. Yeah. Like, no, no one cares. No real adult even knows what you're talking about. Yeah. Like a red line, green line picture or something.

It's like, what is this? Yeah, show that to LeBron James. Let go of my own freak. What was the dramatic interpretation? So this is something that I think this is so funny. Okay. But I'm just going to play it for you. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Let's watch it. A couple hours ago, Kylie Jenner broke up Selena from her best friend, Timothy. And then there's also text on the video. Do you want to read that one? Yeah, uh so yeah there's that above in yellow and then it's actual videos over the globe and that's that part says selena gomez asked her best friend and kylie jenner to take a picture together kylie jenner simply said no and answered for both of them okay this is such a reach like that's according to who selena gomez was so shocked and disappointed with timothy timothy and told taylor star oh no that's no it's not it's pronounced willie what no no no timothy timothy timothy didn't say anything because it didn't happen he just stood behind

kylie and hurt his childhood best friend wow this is a reach man how do you know he didn't say anything everyone laughed and was happy that's the end while selena Selena Gomez's heart was broken yeah okay she's in a relationship this is millimeters away from fan fiction this is like oh it is I think it's fully

in fan fiction this is Jeff the killer fan fiction this is hashtag UFOX he realized that she wasn't feeling well inaudible shit talking oh is that him realizing yeah why did he why they edited him looking come on taylor swift noticed that he went to her no notice and went to her

dot dot dot kaylee has managed to make two best friends hate each other i it's that's so funny it's just amazing i think maybe one of the look first of all this is they're just doing minor movements and the most dramatic thing is that she puts her head in her hands which could be for any reason yeah but also like it's just the they contain multitudes these are full people and they're like famous people who are all insane like she could have been putting her head in her hands because like she got kicked out of scientology yeah these are crazy well i mean to say even if they're not like there's so many reasons for any any and so it's funny too i don't even know that the spatial i don't even know if the floor plan works out where like timothy like looking over is like looking like in the right we're just

shooting coverage yeah that was like a cutaway and then i also liked when taylor swift whispered something and instead of captioning it they just put dot dot dot uh but then something about this but then like tmz like hunted timothy shall we down hey did you deny kylie hold on pause is this a baby maybe maybe when you're accosting a celebrity on the street you uh prepare a little bit get it all ready to go yeah did you deny selena a photo like everyone's reporting can you shut down the rumors what are the chances what are the chances how you were just hanging out. We were just hanging out. We were just hanging out. We were just hanging out. We were just hanging out. But you guys, but they're good, right? Dude, he's handling us so well.

Yeah. Thank you. Good to see you. I don't know that I, I can only imagine how often that must happen. He's probably confused. He probably has no idea what they are talking about. Yeah.

Like, I don't think he has seen any of this. Yeah, cause he's like, what are the chances? Like, what are the chances that I'm just trying to walk somewhere with my friend and you were waiting around the corner like a fucking shadow in you? Yeah, in camo. Yeah. They popped out of a bush looking for their phone. What are the chances?

I mean, the reason he's confused on what to say is, what are you asking me? What did something happen? I don't think i don't look because everyone is in this like weird drama world where they already have the storylines cooked up that's like when the the that guy on twitter was like the las vegas family yeah it's like what are you talking about it'd be like if somebody came up to us and they went where's curtis's gecko like did you do what they said what did you do to the gecko sorry what i don't believe he has one i'm sorry um i don't what's funny to me is uh this

stands you're like he looks so good i'm like madam he was in a hoodie and a hat only two percent of his face was visible at any point. He's dressed like an assassin. Not gonna lie. He looks so good. I'm really into ninja. That's good. Tata on his back. Not gonna lie.

I love him so much. And his personality is amazing. And his looks. But I mainly just love him for who he is. Heart and then a hug emoji. We need to give him more space though shiny heart globe he's amazing people need stop i was gonna say well said well said by your mom yeah that's right what i do love that uh i love him so much and his personality is amazing and

his looks but mainly i just love him for who he is the way he looks it is yeah i mean that's awesome good for him you know he used to uh he like made youtube videos modding xbox controllers loser dude oh my he's not hot though. Yeah, dude. I'm stuffing that motherfucker in. Get in there. Wonka. Stuff him in. Shout out. He's on the podcast next week. Obviously people don't know that. Presumably.

He's going to have to push it out a few years. He's going to make a statement about all this stuff. What year do you think we get Timothée Chalamet on the podcast? I would say maybe in 2056 we have a shot. Yeah, I don't think you'll be around with it. Oh, okay.

But I'll have a house at the time. Okay. We tried to do something a little different this episode. I want to know what people thought of it. We were just goofing and gaffing

and having a grand old time. Had a big break where we talked about the ethics of advertising um very much deviated from the conspiracy stuff but we got back that's just that was classic dude talk about something serious talk about how we feel about something dip back in look what happened with timothy and who was it kylie jenner yeah i just can't even remember remember. So trying to look at an eclipse. Yeah. Good for them though. They're all so pretty. Yeah.

Nice. See you. Seeming. I don't know. 30 years from now on the pod. I'll be coming through. This is it for this episode of sad boys podcast, but we will be at the same bat place.

Same bat time right now. Continuing with our Patreon bonus episode over on patreon.com. Extra episode every week, $5 a month. A whole episode. It's hours and hours of content. Not good. Bad. I think it averages out to like 10 cents an episode.

Episode ever, yeah. With all that being said, much like the airplane door, we are off. You're off to make like a door. Split. I'm going to make like a door and fly off into Oregon, I guess. We end every episode of Sad Boys with a particular phrase.

We love you. And we're sorry. Boom. Every time we start this podcast, I'm like, I don't have energy. And then we go for an hour and I go, oh, okay. It's so funny to have that feeling of satisfaction and work completeness when i sat with my friend and chatted yeah and getting home being like that best uh long day wash the dirt yeah the crime out of me yeah i gotta clean my work boots that's true girl. Moving girl. How she delicate. That future girl. Future girl. Yeah, we on now.

Take my money. Go away. All you wanted. Girl too rich for me.