Sad Boyz - Ridiculous Science Conspiracies (w/ Hank Green & Flyana Boss)

Episode Date: January 26, 2024

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Welcome to Sad Boys, a podcast about feelings and other things also. I'm Jarvis. I'm Jordan. I'm falling into the guest zone. Whoa, you're falling. Oh, you're going into the guest zone where we have a guest. It's full of fire. Oh, oh no. Yeah, we have to, you have to go through the fire. Oh no, it's hell. Oh.

Is this because of what I did? Keep going. Deeper. Oh, the guest zone. And beneath the depths of hell, I guess, is our guest. Hey. Hank Green. Hi. Welcome to hell.

Yeah, no. I live in Montana, so it's just nice to be warm for once. Yeah, and it's funny that this is warm because a lot of- No, it's hell. It's hell. Oh, yeah. But no, this morning I was waiting for a coffee outside next to some L.A. people. And they were like, yeah.

And in puffy coats. And I was like, it's 68. I don't understand. I mean, even if they are a little chilly, L.A. people get so excited to finally use the winter coat. They thrifted with intent to wear it the same day. Yeah, and they looked lovely. They were nice people. People dripped out getting heat stroke, but knowing that it's working for their aesthetic i enjoyed the

drive honestly yeah like the the race because uh the people were like driving slower and i was like this is how we should be la people don't experience the past couple years we've had more rain than usual yeah but people freak out in the rain and they don't know and i'm from florida me too well yeah yeah and yeah i was like this is light drizzle yeah yeah there is a pride i feel like still probably imbued in all of us that comes from like oh you can't handle this oh yeah la people can't you know what i have a hot take yeah for this is just for the la people a hot take. Yeah. For this, it's just for the LA people. It's a weather hot take. No. Hell style. I think that LA drivers are good. Oh. Wow.

I disagree, but continue. So let me tell you why I think. So here's a number of reasons. First clue. The guys on the motorcycles are doing some stuff. Yeah. Right? Those guys are.

And they. It's all jazz. Are still alive. True. Well, the ones you see. Something must be going right i think they do the equivalent of like defensive driving but also our professional site i know those people scare me you're only seeing the number one number two is true because the driver's bias for sure

number two there there's a there's a place um in downtown la where my gps was like okay get on the interstate now and i was like all right and i've pulled onto what i thought was an on-ramp but it was just a stop sign and you stop and the interstate is three feet away from you and it's going full interstate speed yes and you can see backward like 30 feet this is the 110 this is the first and then allegedly the first highway in america and then in front of you there you have a like a merge that's 30 feet and everybody just does it yeah and and like no one dies it's the most and i was like okay okay live or die i can't go back no i just go that is true i feel like i feel like la drivers are good because uh the the roads got built before we knew how roads worked. Yes. And they have to figure that out. Right.

That highway is built for like the Model T. Yeah. Like where they couldn't go that fast. Yeah. Absolutely. So third thing, I feel like everybody is kind of working together. Like in Montana, you stop at a stoplight, you're one car back, the light turns green, the person finishes playing candy crush and here i feel like you're 40 cars back the light

turns green everyone lifts off the brake and we're all sort of like as a unit people are like we're we're doing this thing we know how to do it we do it all the time we're working together as a unit let's go and if you're not it's like yeah yeah whereas in montana if you beep at a person in front of you it's like very rude yeah i think it's got the same energy as like world war one where nobody knows why they are there yeah ultimately no one wants to be right like well it's christmas let's play football one day i don't know i know you're suffering but then at the time the moment you transgress i just i feel like i feel like it seems like la drivers are bad because you see 40,000 of them a day. And they're ethically bad as people.

I can't speak for other drivers than LA drivers because I didn't get my driver's license until I moved to LA. But I took driving lessons in LA. Yeah. And so I drove around LA with a man next to me telling me the rules of the road. And I would ask questions because I like to be a little rule follower. And I would just be like, oh, they're breaking the, they're not supposed to do that, right? And they're like, nope. And I was like, okay, cool.

But you have to be prepared for somebody doing that. Yeah, and there's just so much, no one, I guess this could be everywhere, but no one signals. I would, but like signals return. And if you're on the highway and you're near an exit engage defense mode because someone's going to be coming in

from the fast lane not realizing they needed to yeah and just doing like a four lane merge I don't I am

similarly a child I am finally getting my US license at almost 30 years old we're teenagers we're young and hip I kind of think I'm young as hell

you try TikTok yeah Fortnite family guys yeah all of you family guys We're teenagers. We're young and hip. I kind of think of it. I'm young as hell. You try TikTok? Yeah. Fortnite? Family guys? Yeah. All of the above. I love family guys.

Young, present stuff. Dope. Yeah. But I just did all the study from my permit. And by far, driving automatic is so much easier than driving manual. So the driving is fine. Right. You have to drive manual in the UK.

Yeah. Required. Whereas the written test here is a little more jazz. It's a little more like you know some highly specific question about California state law and then how many wheels does the bus have when it goes round and round. Round and round. Old MacDonald had a. Yeah had a blank. Bus.

No. Oh and if you fail fail it's true that if you fail you can just take it again you can just right there insane I got in a car the other day with someone I like to think of myself

as you know a little I want to be a little flexible with the stringent laws of the road you know me bad guy but I

I was in a car with a friend the other day they've been driving their entire adult life we've been down the freeway they're a good driver and then uh as we were going down i just mentioned like infraction diffraction misdemeanor and then they were like by the way do you know what like these are for because i've never thought about it and they pointed to the gears they've operated operated in drive and neutral their entire time. And they were like, what's it like the two and the one? Yeah. Well, the gears and they're like, why?

Why? Yeah. I mean, you wouldn't need it much. I couldn't think of a reason. Well, we use them when you have a lot of elevation. If you dropped onto a lower gear, then you don't have to use the brake as much. I just have my foot's reaching for the clutch and getting sore. Kicking the bottom of the car.

Now it's a Flintstones car with my foot. So, cars. But what are we here for? Who knows? Cars. This is what we can be here for. There's no rules. One thing I'll say, though, is that we all have the same birthday.

What? May 5th? Yeah. All of us. All of us? 1994? Wow. 1992 from WAP. That makes me a little tingly that's

wild it's very special i know this is the one thing because we we met and had a lot of other similarities about ourselves and then we found out that we had the same birthday it was like a weird a weird yeah but uh yeah so shout out to us and likele, I think, maybe. Good job. Yeah. Jacques Cousteau. Ooh. That's a nice one. Karl Marx, maybe? I think that's right. Yeah.

Determinism confirmed, anyone? Yeah. Definitely. It's a conspiracy confirmed. You're not going to believe this, but I have a birthday also as well. We've been watching conspiracy videos that are not even conspiracies, but just someone speaking a conspiratorial theory. That's like the background music right says

it got your nose yeah but i did louisiana purchase okay this is a crash course history you have to put it in the right frame for certain people to enjoy it that's true yeah the packaging matters uh as for what we're here for today hank we're here for you uh you're here in los angeles yeah um you've been here for a bit you've done a couple of shows one of those wasn't planned well it was very short it was planned eventually yeah okay i wasn't planning on doing it i was planning on going to a comedy show the night i got here yeah and i was like well I don't, if like my fight gets canceled, then I'll, you know, I'll just miss this show and I'll make it the next day.

Cause yeah, I don't like to plan a thing for the day I'm flying. Cause you never know. Montana is long way away. Oh, I just think I'll be tired. But that's not a concern. I don't like to plan a thing for a day. I don't, I love a thing. And so the show got canceled and i was like oh

and then i was i had a friend who knew a guy who worked at the venue and i was like hey what if we booked it and i had 20 hours between when that happened and when i was on the stage and it was very scary yeah because i like they weren't they were like yeah you can book it if you give us money they weren't like they were like give us your credit card right now and we'll hold it for you oh okay and they charged me and then and then you had to make and then i had to and then i had to sell the tickets oh you had the exact opposite of going to a show yeah we were like uh unfortunately i had a birthday party to go to or birthday dinner. So it was like a one of five people would be missing.

So, okay. Can't make it to the show. But how'd it go? It was great. No, I mean, I've done three now and it's been really fun. How recent is this? Because you would say it's like standup. Yeah.

Like a one man show. It's like a one man show standup thing. I don't exactly know i'm much more like it's it's what it's a story it like says the beginning i got cancer it has an end here's what cancer made me think about right um it's like i feel like it's very you coded at least my perception of you externally to turn this experience into content it's weird to call a thing that a person did them coded yeah it's me coded it's a thing i did sir but yeah yeah yeah but it's you coded in the i don't know you as a human being i know you as a artifice

online gotcha okay you see what i mean yeah yeah yeah hank green the brand code would totally do that turns out i'm i am mostly me i say i like to say that i on the internet i everything you see is me but it's not everything yeah like me but not all of me yes i i ascribe to that a very like a crop yeah very accurate yeah exactly what do you feel like you're very conscious about withdrawing like not putting in the something always cropping out yeah yeah i mean i like to be sort of like aggressively non-sexual on the internet uh so like you know obviously you probably could guess that i have like equipment that i have man what do you mean yeah like male paraphernalia yeah cool what do you mean how's that what do you do with it you're talking like a like a robot he's trying to convince us you might have some of the whatever it is whatever they are what do we do here and

we all clone whatever you think we do with something I've heard? I know. You saw like that's like a thing. I think that some people like to have that as part of their persona. And I'm like, no. You know, I have a child. And so like figuring out the balance there is interesting. Like I feel like for a long time i was comfortable telling stories but not showing pictures but now he's like becoming a person like and so it's like a little bit right

on the edge of being comfortable telling the story because like it's like in the some point in the future like he's gonna like yeah it's a person that people have friends and people will be like you this is a story about you that i saw on the internet right and instead of like an uncle that was there like back in the day, it's like some rando from the internet who knows too much about you. Yeah. That's fair. That's respectful.

Because do you ever get secondhand feelings? I don't want to say embarrassment, but like there's a lot of people putting their kids online and not thinking about these things. I try to not. I'm pretty good at not judging people. Yeah, that's good. But what if they're wrong i what if they're wrong what if they're bad like me uh you're a very bad man you said before we started yeah oh it was all bad so you had to get it all out of i don't know

i can't even come up with anything oh well you can't say it because it's illegal that's what it is right uh in fact he said it we had to cut it out the youtube editor because we got demonetized I can't even come up with anything. Oh, well, you can't say it because it's illegal. That's what it is. Right. In fact, he said it and we had to cut it out in the YouTube editor because we got demonetized. Ah, he said it again. Stop.

Quit that. Ouch. Yeah. I mean, I, uh, there's just a lot of ways to be in the world, you know?

Yes, I do agree with that. My wife and I say everybody's themselves. Everyone is them coded. That's saying we have, yeah, we had that conversation every single episode with one another or, or the guest.

How's that for your wife as well? I mean, she's been present for so much of your career. Oh yeah, no, I wasn't a YouTuber when we got married and we'd been together for seven years before that. So rats on her. Yeah. It was weird. Like I got cancer and I was like together for seven years before that so rats on her yeah a

little bit weird it was weird like i got cancer and i was like you seem to be handling this well and she's like you've thrown me a number of curveballs this is not the first time yeah things got weird in our relationship and yeah i i think it's super weird for her and she's like she's a pretty private person she does not like uh strangers coming to talk to me and public which happens a lot and so she just walks away and they're like did she and they're like don't look at her that's not yours that's uh she she didn't opt into this it wasn't her choice yeah how i mean you must have at this point a template for that kind of interaction right yeah of your amongst the most that's happened to youtubers that exist in the world yeah it happens a fair amount and and

i uh i like it to some extent like usually it's really fun and interesting and like i never really know what they know me for well we got that on our thing uh ever surprised by what people recognize you from yeah i mean it is not really because it's been so long but i yeah but for sure there was a time i remember the first time i went to penny arcade expo yeah we've been there uh and i usually like like everyday places get recognized for at that point for vlog brothers but at pax it was like all sideshow just sideshow fans and i was like i've never been writing for sideshow for so much but it's just a bunch of nerds and different kind of nerd uh and so that was a surprise but that was many years ago and so now i like i never know you know but like i can guess like i can look at a

person and be like that's probably a person who like is in it like vlog brothers gearhank and john sure everything and then i can look at a person be like that person has seen me make a joke on tiktok right they know nothing usually people for us will lead with it which is interesting they'll be like yeah where do you know me from i love your tiktoks yeah and we'll be like we don't even like someone came up to us in the vancouver airport and had only seen us on tiktok which is just like strange for us because it's not even a thing we're trying that hard it's just our editor austin makes tiktoks i was so god i was so excited about the chicken sandwich we were getting that i didn't even really compartmentalize it till afterwards it's just like oh but we're in line for like the chicken sandwich yeah it is fun though i was

getting um coffee with tom scott last week and the barista like had like a what is this a crossover episode moment because like we've never been like people don't know that we know each other right yeah i was we were at the i came out after after the show to say hi to people who stuck around. And I was taking a picture and the backyard scientist was at the show. And he was like, is that the backyard? And then William Osmond was behind me. He was like, what the fuck is happening? Am I dreaming?

Yeah, I think there was even somebody who didn't recognize Tom at first. And then Tom made a reference to the fact that he you know was taking a step back from youtube and they were like oh yeah congrats i think oh yeah i've seen one tom scott video it's the one where you retire i didn't connect to it you said you're going a lot of you i know you're from leaving you you know i don't want to have a chip on my shoulder, but Tom Scott's I'm retiring video got more views than my I got cancer video. And like, I don't know.

It's better. It's a meritocracy. It's a really good video, it's true. I did not like get lifted away on a helicopter when I got cancer. I was like, you gotta, you, I mean, you gotta go to the countryside and walk while telling the story.

Yeah, yeah. I do. I really was not in the mood. This is about to be a story of my personal health update. Yeah. Yeah, you know, you gotta do something like that. Now, I was like, oh God. So, yeah, you read the title, fuck.

Spoiled it. That's a good point, he didn't spoil the reveal. Yeah, I spoiled it. It could have been like big news very upsetting health update yeah we have feedback on the thumbnail and title right you have to workshop it yeah i really i really honestly i milked it pretty hard i could have done better but i milked it pretty hard i think you're allowed to oh yeah that's the thing. That's why I can say it out loud.

You get cancer, you're allowed to. Because who knows? You go on a long journey with that. And now, I mean, that's a chapter that is resolving. Yeah, I mean, whatever. When does any door close? I am in remission is the technical term. So there's no sign, at least the last time I got a scan of any cancer in my body. And the kind of cancer I have, it would be pretty unusual for it to come back in the next five years. And then after that, you call you cured. Oh, okay. So in, but like, if it's going to come back, it's probably in the next two years, but it's

so unlikely that they don't even scan you. You just sort of like. Within those two years, they don't even check. Yeah. You don't get it. I've gotten my last scan of the treatment plan. Right. And the only reason I'd have another scan is if there was something worrying that popped

up. So I just have to be constantly aware of my body and being like, are you worrying? Yes. Are you worrying? That's the weird thing about scanning. Is knee pain a cancer thing? Are you like, I mean, I think a lot of people are probably, I mean, thrilled but also surprised by the progress made and the kind of immediacy

of like, oh, great. Right. Quite quick. Were you surprised? I think maybe media has. I guess for us, though. I'm sure for you, time moves a little slow. It felt like oh it

took quite a long time yeah but now it doesn't anymore because you don't it's your brain is so foggy right it's very hard i'm just curious if it is i feel like i as much as anybody else has kind of a perspective on cancer as kind of a yeah it's like a trigger word for oh my god it's crazy it's always but you just i guess don't hear a lot of stories of success so much and there are a lot yeah it's just it's changed so much even in the last 20 years uh i have a friend who got the same cancer as me 10 years ago and his experience was much worse oh uh like just he had to have a lot more chemo than i had. And even though he was pretty early stage too. But like, yeah.

So the thing is like we talk about cancer like it's a thing. But it's like a hundred plus things. Right. Like it's one thing. It's a bunch of. It's like it'd be like calling is saying like I got virus. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

The virus. The ills. I got. You're like, okay, which virus? Is it AIDS or is it a cold? Yeah, who's to say? Yeah, so that is like, I mean, I've learned so much about it now that, like, you know, I've had people come out to the shows sometimes.

So I did a bunch of comedy in Missoula. And, like, you can sort of tell within, like, three, like, once you're in it, within, like, three exchanges where they're at you know like i was talking to a guy who was in the front row and his wife was like he has he's a cancer patient i was like oh so like where are you at and he's like well you know we've had a lot like and she was like he's had 11 surgeries and i'm like that's bad that means that like you don't have 11 surgeries all at once right right you're like the cancer's coming back yeah and then and and i was like so where are you at and he's like we're in the wait and see and what that means is we're not treating it

anymore so that means that means that's like a way of saying terminal yeah but like everybody in the audience doesn't know that right um that's why it's phrased that way yeah yeah and uh so like you know i'm also kind of in wait and see but like that's not what you'd say you'd say i'm in remission right yeah there's like a code there's a code do you get a i assume that once you even maybe before official diagnosis you went hyper on on getting the data and the reality of the situation yeah i mean it took me a little while to get into that uh well i guess not it depends on what you mean so like i wanted a lot of hard numbers numbers and I found that they were actually kind of hard to come by. Like there,

there are things that you know, but you have to sort of understand what those numbers mean. So once I was staged, it was like the, you know, five year, uh, mortality is 5%,

which is like low, but high. Right. You know, like that's a lot higher than I thought it was. Yeah. And, uh, and there's lots of things where that number like at at like the moment i started taking chemo and i could tell that the tumors were getting smaller that number gets smaller because for some people

like that never happens like the cancer is just not responsive to the first line therapy you can tell physically yeah wow wow yeah you could like i could feel i got like i couldn't like close my armpit without feeling it oh wow and so like that started to be like squishier like the lymph node was squishier well instead of being like a ball just like a hard ball oh yeah yeah i'm sure it's a like an annoying sentiment when people are like uh you know a friend of ours had um i can say because he talked about jacob jacob jacob chop has talked about his lot of his stand-ups about his cancer and stuff like that he had brain cancer he is very he's jovial about it but it's like annoying for people to always be like wow what a what an inspiration especially family members yeah but

with your platform i assume it was i feel like there must have been a lot of people well yeah i mean i like bad things happen. You want good things to come out of them, you know? That's part of what the stand-up, I think, was, where I was, like, so sick. And I was like, what if I could make something that is different and interesting for my brain? And it would be good for people, and people would like it. And then it would be like a, you know, not like a reason i got sick but like something good but what i want to i like i you were talking like what i'd like mostly is for people to like have a better idea

of what it actually is that like it's 2024 uh more people who get cancer die of some other thing than die of cancer and that's not how it feels you know know, that's not how you think. And also like the, like, you know, but like obviously still a lot worse than if you get a virus, you know. Yeah. Chances are if you get a virus, you'll be like better in three days. Yeah. That's not, but sometimes people die of viruses, you know. Right. Like we haven't cured, people are like, why haven't you cured cancer?

And I'm like, we haven't cured virus. Did you hear about virus? Yeah. virus yeah famously they keep making new ones we haven't cured bacteria right yeah like like there's the people still die of stuff and people like i mean the sad fact is you can't cure cancer because every time you make cancer more treatable you create more cancer because people get older and right because it's like an eventuality yeah yeah like the like the problem with the thing that the biggest risk factor and the biggest cause of cancer is just your body getting older so in order to cure cancer you have to cure death which like i think maybe we could do but not like too soon people are giving me a couple years there's yeah keep working on it. I got a couple ideas. That billionaire who's like injecting his son's blood.

Yeah, yeah. I'm sure that guy will never, nothing bad will ever happen to him as a man who's tested every single untested medical treatment on his own body. Yeah. I think maybe his son will kill him. Yeah, most common. We are often killed by the thing that we love the most. And that guy really loves his son's blood. Yeah, that's true.

He's going to fire his blood at him. Jumping back to the Tom Scott of it all, who is now the icon for YouTubers retiring, in a sense, because Tom, you know, I think he updated his thumbnail to say, like, probably not forever. Yeah, okay. Just psych a little cycle it once it gets all the music but there has been this moment of uh a lot of everyone's going what's happening everybody's quitting i do feel like that comes in waves but do you have as someone who's been online

for you know a very long time yeah um but he's young like us but is but it's still yeah yeah really fresh guy young and hip uh do you have thoughts on that just like as the i mean i think page turns for so many creators i think that it's great to look at so like if you write a book and you finish the book and the book comes out, did you retire from writing books or did you retire? You didn't retire. You finished that book. And so I kind of think of it that way where it's like, you know, Tom Scott did this thing for a long time and it's a body of work and it was never going to go on forever. Right. gonna go on forever right and i like so thinking about you know like each video as a piece of work

but then like that project where he made a video every week for however and like genius videos yeah it's impossible like i do not understand how he did yeah um that's that feels like okay he made that and now like it's not like tom scott's like okay i'm gonna move to florida and play canasta yeah he's that like Tom Scott's like okay I'm gonna move to Florida and play Canasta yeah that's where he's going on the helicopter he's up there counting cards

I didn't mean to grab the helicopter it was an accident help me I'm dying I'm so afraid I'm still on the helicopter they don't know i'm down here um but yeah i i totally and i think like like matt pat is the sort of same thing where it's like i think matt pat's not done creatively like i think that some extent he created theorist and it's a

company and it does a lot of great things and it's exhausting in a lot of ways to be in charge of something like that as a person who is kind of in charge of something like that yeah and like i think great like that the ability to like if you are a person who like i have a lot of friends who are like freelance writers and they're sort of always on the grind writing for magazines or blogs or doing copywriting and uh and that's like you know if they wanted to quit they can't they got to pay the bills it's great for I think for the like industry to be mature enough

that a lot of people are like well I want to try something new and like I don't need to keep doing this yeah so I think that that's kind of where it's coming from and like

for sure I don't think it I think it's great I think it's also good because it's going to free up those people to have new creative ideas and make different stuff

and just do nothing for a while all the time no not a lot Tom's got doesn't seem like a do nothing kind of guy he's walking in the field so yeah i um yeah the reason i ask you specifically is because i remember as someone who you know was watching vlog brothers back in like 2007 i was like an accio deathly hollows wow sure yeah front page you know back in the day i remember at some point you and john both were like okay we're not going to focus on growing vlog brothers yeah we're going to focus on other projects and that was kind of like obviously it didn't end because there was always there was like many endings of vlog brothers right there's the first year of like what's going to happen then there's the big actually we're going to keep doing this

every video and you know and it's like i remember i remember watching and finding that out and i was like oh it continues yeah yay wow you know it's wild yeah but um and then 18 years later we're still doing it right but but obviously like you're but you're doing more like it takes a it's yeah and like the idea of sort of saying like okay here's you're doing more like it takes a it yeah and like the idea of sort of saying like okay here's what vlogbrothers is and it's that you know like we make short videos once a week and uh and if youtube changes and youtube's like you know the videos that do well are 10-15 minutes long we're gonna be like i don't care yep uh you know what does well is like you have to think a lot about your title and your thumbnail and like the topic of every video make sure that like there's a way to get people in and like i don't care yep uh you know what does well is like you have to think a lot about your title and your thumbnail and like the topic of every video and make sure that like

there's a way to get people in and like we don't care yeah we like we want to have a relationship like we've we are so lucky to have established a relationship with an audience who's just like i will watch a thing that you make and then uh that and and like there's a there's almost a way that like people feel more appreciated by just like showing them whatever screenshot youtube chose and a title that says what's in the video i do think we're coming around i think we've reached an audience exhaustion point yeah no and i like do a custom thumbnail people are like yeah i'm not gonna go on that i think people have a literacy for the vibe of a video now that maybe they didn't initially as i mean at one point it just feels like it is text like literally should i be excited it's like yes you won't believe what happens next yeah now they

have the literacy for you might be that you're lying yeah i feel like whenever i see that you give me something yeah mr beast can't give away over a certain amount of money because it seems unbelievable, even if he does give away. And so it's like, he's had to like sort of bring down, you know, prize amounts and stuff. And that's, I think much like the 2016 loud vlog era of,

um, diss tracks and music videos, et cetera, like that exhausted its audience. People became like tired of it. And I think it stopped because it didn't, I feel like in this business, if something is still generating views,

it's gonna continue as a trend. And so like, I think the audience like moves on. And I think that I'm seeing a lot more, like at least personally in my own videos, just saying, this is what it is. I'm not going to say I found this wacky thing online. I'll just be like, someone did this and I'm going to talk about it. And it's like, okay, you're not telling me how to feel. It's just very bad. Like matter of fact. Yeah. Look out there over there doing it.

I think there is an authenticity and I do think it kind of goes in cycles, but yeah, there's an authenticity to like a vlog brothers video that you may not get from another type of video yeah i mean i i like it's very important to remember that like uh capturing attention is not the same thing as like building community and uh and like you need you kind of you certainly need to do the first thing first uh but like you don't have to do it every video you know not every video has to be about building the audience some videos are just about strengthening the audience or doing things with the audience right are you tempted to do a lot more stand-up is that kind of the next thing that's scaling up not immediately i feel like i wrote this show and i was like this is you know i and i wrote a lot of

it on stage like i'd go out i started doing 10 minutes and then i built from there and uh and i it was a huge amount of work which i didn't really understand how much work it is so it's a lot of work that's not fair is it you know it looks like like that whole point of stand-up is that it looks like it's not work yeah and then you like get up like you're like i'm just talking this is how i talk and i'm making and it's like yeah i was actually watching john mulaney this morning and as a person who's now done it i'm like wow he this is so sharp and polished and refined and also like not like he's speaking in a character right he's like he's got a character voice like you hear him like do interviews it doesn't sound

like john mulaney on a stage yeah yeah uh it's like watching the olympics and being like that no that's pretty good yeah wow they just did that okay yeah he just went for a swim and he won a gold. A bit lazy. The water makes you move. And so I realize it's a lot of work. And I'm also not a polished guy. I'm not. Like, that's not how I am. I don't go for perfection. Is there a lot of variance in each show?

It does. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. More than there should be. But the, I don't like it that much. Do you understand that? Yeah.

Well, here's the situation. When I'm doing it on the stage, I'm like, I love this. This is the best. Beforehand, I'm like, this is the worst and I never want to do this again. Afterward, I'm like, that was terrible. I don't want to do that again. Yeah. And then three months later, I'm like, I need to do that more.

Right. Okay. So it's like I just forget how much I hate before and after and I remember how much I love when I'm actually on stage. Oh, it's the endorphin release that allows people that have given birth to get pregnant again. Yeah, exactly. Do you feel bad about it immediately in the same sense that most of us do after some kind of big performance and then later you feel good about it yeah or you just know i

feel bad so like i feel bad in a weird way that i can't really put my finger on it's like a little bit of like being critical of what went wrong yeah like little piece that i do that messed up or but it's also just i'm so like i think there's like a biochemical thing happening where i just crash and i feel bad that's how i mean after our live show i felt we didn't record i was like i feel i felt bad afterward i feel i almost felt guilty saying that because it was like you know we did like a little live show with our podcast audience for the first time and everyone was super excited it went super well and then i was like in kind of a funk yeah afterward yeah i mean i'm like i'm like i could see how this is like what like you've

heard stand-up comedians not like famous for their great mental health and the lack of drug use right i'm like oh yeah trying to what yeah like his show about going to rehab this was very inspiring to me because i was like oh you can do a stand-up show that's just one story sure yeah mike berbiglia has been yeah you know like one of my favorite guys yeah just like growing up because i like you know we both grew up watching a lot of stand-up and he's a great storyteller and just, and so many interesting things have happened to him. Yeah. And health related too. Yeah.

You know, speaking of cropping life carefully while still releasing a lot of authentic stuff. I'm sure if we spoke directly to Mike Babiglia and then pointed to like, wow, I feel like I know you because of the show. He's like, oh, I don't.

That's yeah. First of all, it's been 10 years. Oh, fun fact for any comedy heads out there. Uh, Mike really has a 2006 album and I can't do that anymore. Fun fact for any comedy heads out there. Mike Brimley has a 2006 album. And I can't remember the title, but John Mulaney intros him in it.

Ooh. Yeah. So it's like coming to the stage. 2006 John Mulaney, baby. Yeah. Well, yeah. And John Mulaney's first album, the top part was where, you know, I'm a bit of a stand-up nerd.

So I was into John Mulaney before it was cool. But his first... Before he was funny. His first stand-up album was really good into john mulaney before it was cool but his first uh before it was funny his first but also after it was cool after it was cool too yeah um yeah he went to i mean mike verbiglia and nick kroll and uh and mike verbiglia nick kroll and john mulaney all uh are georgetown people and like mike verbiglia was a few classes ahead like was an alumnus who was like sort of starting to make waves. And then like Nick Kroll and Mulaney were doing, although they're on the improv team or whatever.

Yeah. So, I mean, yeah, they all go way back. But how long until you get the thirst for more standup? I don't know. Like I think that it, like there's a functional problem where like I live in Montana. And so I can do shows in small theaters in my town. Which I love doing.

Because we have a pretty good stand-up scene, weirdly enough, in 70,000 people, Missoula. And so I get to hang out and feature local talent. Yeah. So I could do that and work up a thing. thing and then but i can't like do a big tour right now like as a dad like like i don't know i just i got too many things i need to do yeah i think for you it's you just got too much stuff to do and it's not a function of energy but for us i would just be too tired i mean okay if you're crashing after one show as we we did, I think.

Crashing as you remember on stage. I mean, this is the trick. So I got here Tuesday and I've gone nonstop. And that's the trick. Because I don't really have a chance to crash. I feel bad at 1 o'clock in the morning in the hotel room. But I can't feel bad. I have to get in the car and drive and do Sad Boys. Right.

And so I'm just sort of like coasting and I will feel awful. Like Thursday of next week, like I should put it on the calendar. Like, Hank, here's why you feel bad right now. Right. A letter to the future. We knew this was going to happen.

Yeah, it's like if you went out. You are very sad. Your life is fine. If you went to Vegas and got extremely drunk and then went home like, why am I in such a bad mood? What this headache yeah what the hell that's a good idea though to give yourself a little heads up yeah ahead of time it's like here's my prediction right thursday and friday you're gonna be sad i've stopped trying to plan things after any, I know we're doing like a long record. Like if we have a couple, we're doing a backup show or something.

That is, there's not so much a sensation of dropping after Sad Boys. It's so familiar at this point, but there is a sensation of, oh, thinking really deliberately at all is not an option. Right. Yeah.

Which is after like a shoot day. Yeah. When we're doing SciShow, I'm like, I always think I'll do SciShow and we'll finish at three and then I'll do two hours of work I always think I'll do side show and we'll finish at three and then I'll do two hours of work. No, we'll do side show and I'll finish at three and then I'll stare at a wall.

Yeah. I think it's so funny too. Cause I never want to come off as like complaining. And we got a great comment on the Patreon. Oh yeah. Referencing. Cause we were talking about, we like accidentally recorded like a three hour main episode.

And then we like did our Patreon episode after that. And we're just kind of like sunk into our couch. Just like talking, yapping or whatever. And somebody was like long day at the talking to my best friend factory. My steel toe boots on. Pull one at the end of the factory day. Yeah. But yeah, it's a, you know, it's a charmed life, but you know, you still experience the range of the factory day yeah but yeah so you know it's a charmed life but you know you still experience the range of human emotion yeah what is your relationship with like because

obviously this stand-up show is very personal um uh but then like uh and so you may have some like you're saying oh it feels bad afterward i'm like you know i'm deviating from the the plan or whatever there's all sorts of feelings do you ever feel that with something where it's more of a collaborative effort like a sci-show episode it's easier to not feel bad about a collaborative effort because uh i'm more empathetic to people who are not me yeah um and uh and you and like you see other people's choices and you're like you know that was another person's choice and could be could be the right one right you know like who's i'm i don't know like it's not how i would have done it but that clearly they thought that was better they

thought that was the right way and yeah like they could totally be right um and also like it's very it's very nice to be able to be like, like, sometimes, absolutely sometimes I'll be like, this script ain't working or something like that. But almost always it's just like, I'm here. I'm doing my job. You're doing your job. Yeah. And, like, the person who's putting this episode out isn't any of us. It's SciShow. Right. It's Sideshow.

Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So the weight does not fall on any individual. Yeah. That's kind of how we feel about it. It's like the system is in charge. Yeah, yeah. That's kind of how we feel about this show

because it's like we want to be able to do other things as well. And so it made sense to invest in a team. And we have Jacob now who is like this mini tendril. We've never shown a picture of this, but we've been having people do fan art of... We described like it's a monitor with like a bunch of cameras and we've got a bunch of like Lovecraftian

creature fan art. He is kind of like inconceivable. You know, like a Cthulhu. It is beyond conception. Breaks your brain. Like the top of a head not the human head and a lot of equipment yeah i don't even have my phone right now because someone did draw almost it's like almost verbatim what it looks like and we did not show them a photo of it yeah um i like good i like the process of collaborating because you can give kudos to

other people and that's like refreshing yeah because there's no um because you know they're probably not going to give it to themselves and they're probably having the same doubts and like i submitted the edit how do i feel yeah it's nice to be like you are that you're great i like what this is even if there's feedback it's like this is you are as valuable as i was in this thing and yeah i don't know i guess it's kind of a circle joke but it's still fun yeah you know you see Everyone's smiling at the end of it Really Your channel My channel

Your other channel The sad ones Whatever it is That once it's out You're like Look what we did Look at that We got a subscriber badge

Or whatever Yeah I think it's harder to like Make pure art that way Sure Though I do I think I think there's ways to do it But

But like It's a lot easier to make just a good thing. Sure. Well, maybe that pure art is pure, but it might never finish or come out. Yeah. Or be good. How are we doing? It's almost 11, so I just want to be on.

Yeah. What do you want to do? Do you want to just sort of like pause and then like intro them and have like a sort of weird section section why not guests i don't know let's do that who are we talking about uh yeah is this also going to be in the podcast we do but i think that people enjoy this there's like a little bit of a surprise them yeah it's a because because here's the thing now is it more than one person or is it a non-binary exactly yeah uh but see the thing the value of leaving it in the podcast is uh you've built suspense now yeah so so now there's like oh i'm gonna hang i mean they're gonna scrub forward

and see what happens yeah i'm gonna stick around with special guests and if i mean you know if they suck jacob will cut around them aggressively or dub hire the marvel vfx team i think i think suddenly i will be the least cool person on the podcast but i'm used to that one thing uh before we jump into this we also have our game that we can do when our guests get here but one thing i wanted to ask you about before this is like, as someone who's worked in the creator space for a long time and in, on the business side of the creator space, you know,

subable and things of that nature. When you see things like the current stuff that Twitch and Twitter are up to, do you have any thought? Like I, I like, I could say some specifics, but in the interest of time, is there anything that like jumps out at you? I don know i mean it's a mess yeah i think live streaming

is really tough i think that it's like you know it's obviously not ever going to end like it's a genre it's a format it's a medium that is like like established and like i think that it will be live streams 500 years from now of some sort it's like they're still wasteland the forbidden zone like there are still plays glor paul there's still radio there will still be live hassan bot probably probably um but but i think it's a tough business it's wild to me that twitch never figured out how to hasn't like figured out how to make money even though there is money in the ecosystem yeah i think that there i think that we underestimate how good youtube is at business we underestimate yes yeah though i am like i have worries about YouTube too. I think that the people at Twitter have always not been good at figuring out what's valuable about the platform and how to leverage it.

And I don't think that's changed in the last year. I do think they've overestimated maybe recently. I think that the current leadership, that's a way to put it. Yeah. I think that there's an, there's an amount of like, it's,

it's a little like, you know, if I, here's what I'll say. If I looked at YouTube and I was like, there's so many problems, I could fix all these problems. And then you put me in charge of YouTube.

I'd be like, yeah, I, that was, I did not understand how complicated this was. A big day of meetings. I'm tired. all these problems and then you put me in charge of youtube i'd be like yeah i'm uh that was i did not understand how complicated this was a big day of meetings i'm tired i need a day off tomorrow actually there's a lot of stakeholders at this table and i do not know how to satisfy all of them and if i don't satisfy all of them everything breaks um and i i think that there's a little bit

of of that vibe where just like critics which which is great. We need critics. We need people to complain. for sure. And like to, so that that group of stakeholders will be heard. But I think that like, they don't like, you don't understand how fucking complicated all of this is.

And it feels like a bunch of people who thought it was really simple, got put in charge and were like, no, it's really simple. And they won't accept that. Actually, it's very complicated. Oh,

wow. I thought i could do millennia i thought i thought i could just stand up there and just tell him it looks like it looks like he's just talking he's having a nice time he just goes like this i can do that i'm on cocaine he puts on a suit he does cocaine and he gets on stage i think that i do think that it is very complex um i think that one thing about YouTube success that is understated is the fact that YouTube was a very difficult to this gigantic business, second most popular website on the internet, et cetera, et cetera. I do not think that Amazon

treated Twitch with the same investment. It felt like they went to money faster. Yeah. Yeah. Because having talked to Twitch employees or product managers, et cetera, it feels like the pressure is on them now to find profit and in this competitive landscape in the competitive streaming landscape where now unfortunately you also have to kick kick shouldn't exist like it feels like the kick is the result of a market opportunity fumbling it should not be viable yeah twitch and um and then like youtube is in the space and like, I don't know. I've like, I've had some disagreements in person with some Twitch leadership where they were like, you don't understand how expensive this is.

And I was like, you don't understand that no one is going to empathize with a company and how expensive it is to run your company when the creators are the ones getting the shit into the stick and- The only people that can advocate stick. And the only people that can advocate for you, the only people that can advocate for you and they're going to be pushed. They're not, it's not even a choice at some,

to some extent they're going to be pushed away from your platform because it cannot provide for it. I don't know. I mean, that's this, the wild thing is that that is what happened to vine. Yeah. But like Tik TOK figured something out.

Well, but have they, i don't even know like tiktok's wild now that it's tried to turn the bend to become profitable and it just is so much less cool yeah i think sucks on tiktok now tiktok kind of is a little bit immortal by virtue of having so much cultural cachet yeah like well has to be something but also imagine saying that about mtv in 1995 you know that's i did i was one year old also tiktok was not playing the same game though as vine because uh no like there was music and then there was like it's not gonna go vine but i think it could absolutely do what mtv did where it was very cool and now it's boring reality tv bland american culture yes and mainstream yeah whereas like tiktok's biggest moat is that it was cool and now and now it's not as cool anymore and youtube's like youtube and like shorts and reels are like well we're not cool we're like just as good it's honest and like we're not cool. We're just as good.

It's honest. And we don't have as many advertisements. We could get your interests wrong. Jordan, Joe Rogan? I heard that you like rockets. Do you like transphobia? I'm not really like, come on. What's wild is that happened on threads um uh threads like the instagram insert ads yeah

for threads where like i think they were just they had some sort of naive algorithm that was like oh yeah they had like a bad week there find the most divisive threads possible and it's just maybe the worst post the worst takes a lot of people are talking about this. Even like the pro trans takes, I was like, you shouldn't say that one. That one's also bad. Like you found a thing that's going to make- Somehow.

Well, I mean, like there's always somebody having a bad take somewhere. Like we all have bad takes. And they somehow surfaced it. And they're like, let's find that one. This is getting so much engagement. Right. It was the pure engagement

thing which is yeah we talk about like in the sad boys bingo we complain about twitter at least once an episode but the fact that you want us now like monetized bad engagement bait yeah where like every reply has been destroyed of like a viral post and it's like making you watch like hey did you want to watch like a fight no yeah that's weird yeah and i see you've been looking at old ancient memes what about war it feels like um i am like uh if i tap into like one of those videos it is now trying to keep my attention by all means necessary yeah where it's like oh um maybe you don't like the fight what about a picture of a cute dog it's like and it's like oh okay cool yeah like a venus fly trap yeah and here it's a little bit like tiktok but like with a race to the bottom of like the worst post imaginable that get 500 000 impressions and three

likes but it doesn't matter because you got all the impressions and so that's what you know dictates whether or not you get the rev share feels more like somebody trying to explain their dream to you it's like no it's cool because it looked like my dad but it was like it wasn't yeah okay yeah you told me about this i said i wasn't interested it's i mean i think it's like it's kind of exciting how messy the time suddenly is. It was like three years ago. It was like, well, YouTube and Google are going to own the internet forever, I guess. Yeah, true. And now it's like, oh, OpenAI is like, fuck you, Google. And Google's like, I guess we should make Google worse then.

Yeah, yeah. And then TikTok is like, so you thought you had video? You don't have video anymore. Right. And Neil Mohan's like, I guess we're going to launch a product that's like we've been working on for two weeks. Yeah, literally. And even

Threads is like, we weren't ready to launch this, but Elon said something weird and so maybe this is the right time to capitalize. Every time Elon says something where you're like, and that seems really close to white supremacy. The people at Meta are the right time to capitalize. Yeah, every time Elon says something like, where you're like, and that seems like, really close to white supremacy.

Like the people at Meta are like, oh, this is a new influx of users. Elon Musk slips on a banana peel and tweets like, Matt Walsh is pretty epic bacon. I mean, oh my God. He is a criminal, he's a. Yeah. Do you ever get the sensation sensation of or the pressure literally internally

to adjust the way you present your content or market your content to adhere to like some of the products they're featuring like doing memberships or i mean we get money sometimes like they pay us like tiktok paid me early on to like make science videos oh okay they're like we want more educational content on the platform so like then we won't pay you to make any old tiktok but if you make one that's educational we'll like kick you some cash specifically for that we got money for posting youtube shorts we got money for i got that uh i think we i think we got money i. I got that. I think we got money. I don't know if we got money for or like an advance on memberships at YouTube.

But like I've always felt like that doesn't work. Like that's what is kind of happening right now. It feels like with Twitter where they're like, let's take Jimmy. Let's take a Mr. Beast video and like just dump a ton of views into it. And then whatever rev share there is will, you know, tweak the thing behind the scenes. So that Mr. Beast makes a ton of views into it and then whatever rev share there is will you know tweak the thing behind the scenes so that mr beast makes a lot of money and then people but like that just seems like you can it falls apart pretty quickly yeah because like it's not scalable yeah yeah even it's not like twitter has a bunch of money to spend right it's a bad thing they're like

they're like really really not a good financial place yeah uh and and so that's going to be interesting i think that elon is in an okay financial place though. So maybe he'll just keep like, he always said like, you can't like trust anything he says. I'm not saying like they like, that's not like a, he's a bad person take.

That's like, he says things and then he doesn't do them more. You're like, you know, we'll, I'll, we'll never offer more stock. And then he offers more stock or like,

I'll never jealous of me. Jealous. Oh, I'm jealous of elon jealous of elon you wish you were tony stark you wish you had a bunch of non-functional products i think there are some things that i might be jealous of elon about but mostly not it's his i mean i yeah it's the jujitsu. It's the... It's the... I actually can't come up with a name.

Yeah. Probably something. I'll be honest. It's probably something. We had to cut out the list. It's night. For bread. The...

I... Yeah. I just don't think that that... That doesn't tend to work. Like YouTube's tried it so many times. Yeah. And it kind of pissed me off when they sort of like cloned patreon product oh that was interesting i was like because they had like done a lot of behind the scenes work with patreon and like talked about how they and they yeah but internally at patreon

i think everyone was always on the defense with youtube and so when that happened it wasn't a big it wasn't a big scare however um, it felt like an inevitability. Like I asked about that in my interview with Patreon. I was like, what if YouTube clones your whole shit? And I do think that, you know, Patreon does have a story. Like there is a kind of an answer to that. There's also a reason that we use Patreon and not youtube memberships even though the it would be easier we'd probably convert more people yeah being right next to the youtube video to i youtube

shorts yeah yeah i think that youtube overestimated how important that was that like that this sort of like because in e-commerce like getting the number of clicks down between wanting something and buying something is very important could be exponential but i don't think that that's that important with crowdfunding because like these are people who are motivated to help you sentiment but it also depends it's not as it could be more but it's not as impulse buy yeah but then there's also the kind of the crowdfunding um psychology versus the um i'm giving you exchange value exchange for like a product. Yeah. Which, which.

Yeah. If it's more of a product than probably. Because I think for me at Patreon, I became very wary of operating. Like, so I saw so many creators on the back end getting so much goodwill from people that then turned because they began to be expectant of things and entitled to things. And that was never a like relationship that I wanted. Cause I saw how much like, yeah, how shitty it could be to like have someone feel like they owned you. Cause they like gave you a dollar a month. And so I think for us, like for our Patreon, it's like gave you a dollar a month and so i think for us like for our patreon it's like you get the extra episode and leave us alone you know like and not leave us alone like it's a community but like we don't want to create the idea that we're the expectation like yeah as much

you access give you like you don't want you especially don't want people to feel like they're buying the ability to control you yes yeah or or even it's but javas uh engineering edit partnerships how we met at patreon oh cool and at the time the optics of patreon when we i started and then you started were very much charity that was e-begging you know yeah which had uh you know at launch seemed very viable seemed very appealing that's why there was the per video model and then that was there but then as larger creators wanted to use the platform the patreon's plan was we will just rebrand and market so aggressively that people will stop thinking that and that is not possible it's already a foundational thought yeah then uh uh patrons started investing more in

like white label white labels things where you can you can uh grandfather in the services but skip past the aesthetics which works great and then in the case of uh you know i don't know if i want to say which part is using it but people that use it uh that can find a nice hybrid between the branding of their own organization or something as an organization and the sentiment of I'm a part of this. I mean, I'm involving myself. Yeah, like you're supporting it, but also you're buying something. Yeah. Yeah. And it's like for some people, it's like their NPR subscription that comes with like a tote bag once a year is like they don't want the tote bag or it's more about the support.

So it's like trying to balance like, okay, are we actually giving adequate value? Because I didn't think you could still, cause you're not gonna get to like, right. It's not like a 501 where you're gonna get to like, write off your contributions, but. I don't think Twitch has figured out what their association is with that.

Whether it is about the exchange. With memberships or whatever they call it. Yeah, also primes are just kind of cooking the books a little bit for the volume of membership. I don't know, man. I just think... It's messy right now. It's really weird.

I kind of like it. I don't know what's going to happen. Well, you live for the drama. I live for the business drama. I could leave a lot of the drama, but the business drama is very exciting. Where the business drama gets me is whenever I see Twitch last year laid off 400 people, this year laid off 500 people. Yeah.

How many people are at Twitch? Exactly. They've lost like 30 to 40% of their workforce over the past two years. I think closer to 30%. But anyway, that's where I get upset because I think that those type of large shifts are like a function of mismanagement and over promising. It's over hiring and over. But yeah, over promising to investors and then over hiring as a result.

Or, you know, you have these. But the thing is, that shouldn't happen to Twitch because it's not like they're a public company. Yeah. They, you know, someone at Amazon should have been more realistic. But I think, you know, you can't expect that expect that obviously like what am i saying someone hey amazon be realistic whatever but um why did they do something but but yeah it's like when people like invest their i just don't like people losing their jobs and when you know hundreds of people lose their jobs

at once it's something else went wrong it's wild yeah. Do you have any issues, or like, I guess, probably for a long time now, of viewers and fans being surprised that there's like infrastructure to what you do, as opposed to the... Yeah, I have a joke in my show that's, you know,

it's basically like me getting diagnosed with cancer and being like, it's like I'm on a plane and I'm the only person on the plane and there's something wrong with the plane and i don't know anything about planes and then the joke is that the person i'm talking to this is a fake conversation says yeah you do i saw you do a whole crash course on the anatomy and physiology of planes uh oh yeah and then the joke is that was eight years ago and i was reading a teleprompter

and people in the audience are like what like no i just said all of anatomy and physiology into a camera out of my head you love our special guests oh my god elon's here pardon the interruption we are joined by two very special guests welcome to the stage just kidding like you're gonna perform fly in a boss and go ahead start rapping yeah we're flying a boss oh the mics are melting so uh hank yeah you know hank and i were you were scheduling the show. And then Hank, in a very Hank-coded way, said to me... I have terrible news. He said to me, is it cool if Flyanna Boss comes over at 11?

And I was like, yes. But I wasn't expecting this. This is such a pleasant surprise. No, I am. And we're happy to facilitate this first meeting. but like we were I wasn't expecting this this is such a pleasant surprise no I yeah and we're happy to facilitate this first meeting I mean it sounded like

you were saying am I right we can meet yeah yeah no I have a niece on Ultima but I'll take whatever you got I

yeah I mean I was I've sort of like when I'm coming to LA which for like a hunk of time which happens you put up the bat signal five years I'm like I need to which for like a hunk of time, which happens, you put up the bad signal five years.

I'm like, I need to see as many people as I can. Right. And it gets complicated when you're trying to do that. Absolutely. You see people. I was in, I was hanging out in their Tik TOK live and they were like,

are you actually Hank green? And I was like, I really liked that new song skateboard. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. And then, uh,

and, and then I was like, I'll DM you you they said you should hang out and i was like i should hang out and dm them and i was like how how would and then i was like where would we meet and i was like jarvis's house i i'm glad that that's where we decided to meet i was uh you know showering this morning getting ready uh for the show and i just put on like your music and i found myself dancing in the shower and i was like i need to get ready i need to i can't do this i actually hank's about to arrive and i'm sitting here telling christ i'm about to sin again you But now you feel ready for the day. Oh, absolutely.

I did the same and it made me so pissed off. It made me furious. I'm like, this isn't me. It's very. Who is yelling at me? Where are they? It is you. It was music.

We are you. Oh, yeah. I have to think of it. Yeah, it was the podcast. I don't know what music is. I think you guys have a videographer coming. You're going to film some stuff. Yeah.

But before we get into that, we did, Jordan prepared a game. Oh. Prepared. We love preparedness. Yeah. And so, I don't know, Jacob, do you have all the stuff you need for Jordan's game? Why does it say business coach credit fraud on the list? Oh, because we were going to.

Jacob, nothing to pull up yet. I'll just. Do we have that business coach credit fraud on the list? Oh, because we were going to... Jacob, nothing to pull up yet. I'll just... Do we have that business coach credit fraud TikTok? Yeah. Oh, this is great news. Business coach credit fraud. Our limits, let's go. So the first thing you want to do is you want to sign up for QuickBooks.

Then you want to go ahead and... Tap, tap, tap, tap. Yeah, no, tell me how it works. I'm going to send my other LLC an invoice for 2100 nice finger and i'm gonna put the limit there and i would put how much we're there and then i'll send it over once i receive the invoice i will then pay it off with the credit card i want to increase my limits with it will then deposit into my bank account yeah yeah once i get the money in my bank account i will then pay off the credit card with the same exact money.

Once I pay off the credit card, I'll do it a couple times and I will then call my bank and ask them for a credit limit increase because my limits are too low. A bonus is that QuickBooks will also give you funding because it looks like you're not going to be able to pay. Wow. Bonus fraud. I mean, I a little bit respect the hustle. If you didn't know it was illegal. Great idea. of money a little bit respect the hustle yeah if you didn't know it was illegal great idea yeah there are so many hacks like this on tiktok where someone accidentally admits to a crime right and then they delete i saw sometimes sometimes i think uh people to people like art are you having a good

idea or are you an asshole there was a stand-up comedian who told a joke once about how they had rented a car and uh but they were late for their flight. So they just drove to the place where you, like, to the departures area and left the car there. Oh, yeah. And I was like, that's not a fun. That's, like, that's just mean. Like, somebody from the rental car place now has to go get the car. It's like when people just say some unethical shit they did, and they're like, yeah, I'm not going to get in trouble for it.

I don't know how to explain what compassion is. I don't know how to help you understand what humanity is. What happened is that nobody thought to be that much of a dick before. Ethics. They're going the way. There is a trend on TikTok called unethical life hacks and most of them are crimes or evil things that you would never do if you had compassion

for another person. You guys see dark psychology? Sometimes though. It's just so funny. I've heard this phrase. Sometimes you need like, you have like the mafia after you and you need two million dollars

really fast and then you do what you gotta do. Unethical things. What you'll notice is other people have organs and then you can take them and sell the organs. That's not illegal.

I actually wouldn't know this was a crime if I saw it. Sorry. Yeah, I wouldn't need it. I would just think, oh, okay, you're doing something. Absolutely, yeah. It's like, doesn't see it. Like, they let you do it. That's a great point because a lot of people,

like this goes viral, it gets upvoted, and then... Yeah, you couldn't do it if it was illegal. It's meant to be educational, so the consumers of educational content are the people learning something from the video who don't know, and they don't know that they're learning a crime, and that's why it is also harmful.

It's also bad. You should do it in SciShow. So what happens after they make these videos just outing themselves that they're committing crimes? I mean, theoretically, they just stop. If you do a little fraud a little bit... A little fraud. Maybe fraud is okay. Big fraud, theoretically, they just stop. If you do like a little fraud, a little bit. Big fraud is okay. Big fraud, no, no.

There was a guy who was like, if you create a business credit card and then you declare bankruptcy on the business, I just bought this $25,000 Rolex and they can't get it from me. And then it was like, no, they can't. I'm moving my wrist really fast. It's like, haters wish they knew this tip. And then they like deleted the TikTok, deleted their account. And then on TikTok they're like flexing and they're like, people just don't know how I do, how I

get like this. And it's like, oh, we know. It's not good. His address and social security number. Yeah, you can turn up if you want. I have a bonker story. There's a guy who lives in a town near mine. He ran a lumber mill. And then the lumber mill closed down.

But he made a good amount of money. And then he started to be a gambler professionally. And then he moved to the Bahamas. And then they found his body on the beach without a head. And now his house is the best VRBO in town. Oh, is that where his head is? I don't think so. But he had like down the valley,

he built this giant like four-story resort just for himself on a hot spring. And so it was like just the pool is like hot. It's like a giant hot tub. It's amazing. We had our company retreats there for a few years. And I was like, why is this place here? And then I read the story.

And I was like, oh, because this man gambled until the mafia killed him. It's funny to live your entire life running a slashing company, a cutting and slashing company, and get beheaded after it closes. Yeah. Avoid getting anything cut off. He just saws everywhere and he was fine. And then there's a story I read in the newspaper, and his lawyer is quoted, and it says,

as far as I'm concerned, the mafia doesn't exist. Oh. Judge. Which is the kind of thing that you would say if the mafia existed. That's right. Yeah, he's like shaking. Oh, come on.

It was like, just so you know, I think this happened. I think his head fell off at the beach. That's what the mafia says. What was the gang trial recently where it was like some RICO case where they just started making up new acronyms for what like Yeah, it was a young thing where they're like, actually, this means love my mother always. And not like the Texas state killers. I love great improv lawyers that like they get

new undiscovered evidence brought to them like out of discovery they have 24 hours to figure out an answer and the evidence is like we saw him holding the sword cutting off the guy's head

and you're like no you're that bull bullshit and I was actually there and I saw him not do it yeah

well Jordan do you want to do a little part there's like a few options Bull bullshit. And I was actually there and I saw him not do it. Yeah, incorrect. Well, Jordan, do you want to do a little part? There's like a few options and each one's five, ten minutes. Okay. So we can just do one. Maybe do one. My God, I should ask you guys to dress me. We can do it now.

Can't go upstairs? We can do it now. Why not? You just come down with all the turned around. Yeah. Is this how they wear it? I remember in the 90s. Oh man. That's too much power to let you dress Chris cross Yeah, it was a thing if I was actually alive unlike you people

It was a great time right yeah, because we're 42. Because you're 42. Yeah. It was a great time, right? Yeah. Right, right. We all were jumping. At the juke joint. At the juke joint. Yesterday we were on live and we said we go way back with Hank. Like, we're meeting Hank tomorrow, we haven't seen him in seven years.

Oh my God. I don't feel as though you were the temperament to tell everyone they are lying. I think you might just go like, yeah, shit, yeah, definitely. I think that they say that you should yes and. And so we went to high school together. Yes.

Yes and. It was a musical arts high school. Yeah. Oh, yes, of course it was. In Montana, remember? And you were going to Venmo me to a nurse. Don't ruin it, Rob. Something happened with the Venmo. Ah, yes, but I fixed it.

And we're doing cash. That was just nice, thank you very much. No, but seriously, I could really use that. Me and the mafia. We'll take a credit card and then take that money and transfer it into another one. And then make an invoice. Yeah, then ask the bank for more money on another credit card.

I'm not a money guy. I think we're all getting ripped. QuickBooks is going to be like, here's 40 grand. We got some TikToks you can watch. The QuickBooks lawyers being like, what the hell does that say in the TikTok? Because I have to give it. Have you seen those real estate TikToks

where somebody goes, well, if you take a million dollars and you split that across five investment properties, and it's like, where did you get that? if you're already in real estate not a bunch of houses yeah um okay all right my little quiz uh you guys said that you like conspiracy theory yeah and that was cool we should do that the whole episode and uh hank i've i've seen through many a show that you do not like sometimes I sometimes I think they're grand I was watching the minions movie the other day as you do by yourself. No with some friends and it takes place in 1968 and And Yeah, the first one, not Rise of Gru, but the Minions movie.

And it's before, it's Gru's a kid and the Minions are... Right. The Minions appear to be immortal beings that have existed since humans. Or before that, they were little tadpoles in the early oceans. They're like in the background of the Abraham Lincoln assassination. They did it actually. That's the conspiracy theory I'm into. Behind the motorcade. And in 1968, the Minions are sort of like traveling around

and they stumble into a soundstage where they're filming the moon landing. And I was like, fuck you. That's awesome. Minions movie people? That's actually hilarious. That is very funny. That joke's not for me.

It's not for me. Anyone from NASA, they're with their kids. Yeah. Oh, they just like me. What the hell? That's me. Buzz Aldrin's like punching the memes. I can't control him.

Do you like the videos then of like flat earthers accidentally creating an experiment that proves the earth is round? I mean, yes, very much so. They take the lawyer route of just being like this is the test was well wet yeah so i was wrong with it something must be off in the atmosphere just says some tiktok of a man like holding a long stick of some sort over like a cliff and being like see and i just really thought that was hilarious poking china look look i got the longest stick I could get. There's no curve. If the earth was curved, how come I did it?

Why? Exactly why. That seems scary to me. How come I ran? Just like, where's the edge, though? If it's flat, where's the edge? It could be around any corner. Those people live in fear of falling on the edge.

No, I've never been to Earth. It's right there. That is the San Andreas fault. The other one's going to snap and fall off. Do they believe in space? This is the wild thing. There's an argument among the flat Earth people about whether the other planets are flat or not. Very funny to believe they are.

Yeah. Very funny to get invested in Earth and Auras. No, so like Earth is flat, but all the other ones, you can see how like the light shines on them, and that wouldn't do that unless they were spheres. So there's like, some people were like, yeah, the moon is a sphere, but Earth is flat. Right.

I get it. I mean, you can't see the curves of the moon. You can only see it from, yeah. But all right. Hey, what do I know? I haven't seen Minions, I don't know how. They're the moon. You can only see it from... Yeah. Hey, what do I know? I haven't seen Minions. I don't know. They're trying to figure it out.

They're doing their best. It definitely looks like a circle though sometimes. Pull it up. Sometimes. Pull it up. Is it a moon? Sometimes. That is actually how Joe Rogan finds out facts.

Jamie, pull that up. He goes, is it round? Jamie, pull that up. It's like a drawing he did. Oh, yeah. Crayons. That's the moon. But I that up. It's like a drawing he did. Oh, yeah. Crayons. That's the one. But I pulled up.

What was your game? Sorry. I pulled up a couple conspiracy theories. Oh, yes. How are you going to gamify this? That was really good. You might have a future in music. You're like, pulled up a couple conspiracy theories.

That actually means a lot. Do you really think that? Career change. Yeah. Career change. Because I wanted to do that and I compromised on podcasting. You have a great voice. We're looking for a third member of our band.

Which one do I get to be? Leave Jarvis in. You get to be number two. I don't know how. I'm not too old. No, we're 42. You might be too young. I do want to get it on mic that when you came in

one of the most things Hank says was you look older on video. I was actually thinking don't include that. A brave thing to say to someone you just met. I'm sure you did. You look so much younger.

You guys look so old. You Yeah, that's way worse. Wow, you guys look so old. You look like a couple of 42-year-olds. Online. Online. I guess say whichever one you aren't currently in. If you're not online, be like, oh, you look great. I'm not online.

That's crazy. Then in the live, be like, live? No, it's better like, I thought you were ugly, and you're not. Like, it's better like that. You look really terrible online. Yeah, but in person, amazing. Wow, your music is trash in person. But like now that I'm seeing it live.

Amazing. It's better. Better. It's better. People do experience grief when they find out that we are our ages. Because people are like, I thought you were one of us. Oh. Yeah.

Because people online think at 25 you're supposed to shrivel up and die and not have dreams. You give up on everything and you settle for podcasting. Yeah, you settle for podcasting. Oh, yeah. No, I thought you guys were like 19

when you walked in the room. Thank you. That's great. Okay. We'll keep it. That's not where it is. It's not where it is. We're 42.

Yeah, we're really old. We're older than these two. What do you think I was? Look, I know that I'm leading from the front. It's all I'm saying. Did you know, fun fact here, Hank, Jordan, and myself all have the same birthday.

Can we guess it? Can we guess it? Oh, wait, I just told you. May 5th. Is it May 5th? It is May 5th, yeah. Oh, we haven't seen each other since that birthday. And here he comes.

It's a great holiday. Yeah, true. All right, Jordan. And that's about age. Yeah, I'm young as hell. There's one in particular. I found one of my favorite ones of all the conspiracy theories. Sorry, did you know in Ethiopia, you're younger?

Like a year? Yeah, they go by different calendars. Yeah, so in Ethiopia, you're younger. Yeah, you're a different age, because you know what age is a construct. Anyway, continue. I don't suppose Kenya has that, because that would help me. Are you Kenyan?

Are you Kenyan? Yeah, I'm Kenyan, yeah. So it'd be half a year younger. It's in the same continent, so. It's the same shit. It's fine. It's a small continent, so I'm pretty sure it's- Yeah, it's a really tiny continent. It's a little bit minimal. On the map, so. It's the same shit. It's fine. It's a small continent, so I'm pretty sure it's peaceful.

Yeah, it's a really tiny continent. It's a little bit minimal. It's on the map. So just adopt the whole continent. That's what I do. It's a dot. It's flat. I guess. Mostly, kind of.

But I have some, like, keywords for this conspiracy. I'm just going to give you the keywords. You guys try and guess what it is. What the full conspiracy is. And then we'll do three quickie rounds and once you once either somebody gets it we show it this sounds hard okay i think it's gonna be like moon landing and forks and it's like they use forks to fake the moon how come they never ate any food with the fork on the moon this is one small bite for man Wow Jacob I did send you the wrong link

I'm gonna go with Okay Ocean moon Ocean moon The aquatic theory What's that It's a guess Is that all we get

Ocean moon Any guesses I can give you another guess. The tide. What? That it exists? That it doesn't exist? That the tide has never been high.

Tides are created by just like, it's like a bathtub sloshing around. As we go around the sun. It's God's bathtub. God's taking a bath. Is this flat earth? Incorrect. got it it's god's bathtub yeah god's taking a bath is this flat earth incorrect it is uh about the structure of of the earth okay do you have another word oh i'll give you another hint okay um the structure of the earth moon ocean really close. The moon. The ocean is the teardrops of the moon. Yeah.

Oh, that's actually, that's like Norse mythology. That's so sweet. The moon cried when the earth was born. Wow, I like that theory. I can see it, I can see it. That's sweet. Wrong, dude. Right.

You're stupid. No, next term is firmament. Firmament? Definition. I only barely know if you're stupid. No. Next term is firmament of the earth. Firmament? Definition. I only barely know what that means. The firmament is like the idea that there's like a ceiling. Oh, like a dome? Yeah.

And it's just like the stars are just like holes poked in the firmament. Okay. The dome theory? I feel like there's got to be some sort of inner outer layer. I was thinking inner too at first. I was like, is it because there is a conspiracy theory that there's a whole civilization inside the Earth. Yeah, I've heard of that one.

Is it that one? Is it the dome theory? Fermentation. Any final guesses? Fermentation? You got to say no. You can't just let us hang here. Yeah.

I'm sending it to Jacob right now. Are you Googling your answer? Do you not have it? He's sending it to Jacob. Oh, he's sending it to Jacob. Send it to Jacob. Pull it up. Yes, sir.

Did we all get it wrong? I think we're going to get the review. I am freaking out right now. There's a lot of unexplained things going on in the ocean right now. Hold on real quick. No. You get to Mars by going through the ocean. You get to Mars by going through the ocean.

Because outer space is the ocean. Now what you just said is- Jacob, go ahead, pause it. Spoiler, nothing else in this video. No, just a lot of mumbo jumbo. Literally just goes like, it's in the ocean, you gotta go down, get Mars. Okay, so yeah.

I'm glad that she closed the blinds though so that the eye can see. Even when you're putting it on the internet. Yeah. They're closed. She's closed. So you get to Mars through the ocean? Can we back up to the beginning where she gets really like stretched in?

Yeah. That was awesome. Y'all, I am freaking out right now. There's a lot of honeycomb. I didn't even notice that. Just listen to her. So Jack from the Titanic is in Mars right now. Basically.

Basically. On Mars. Is Mars the only place that you can reach from the ocean? Or there's no other place? All of outer space. Oh, yeah. Oh, everything. But the first place, the first stop is Mars.

Is that a... I don't know. Yeah, it seems like the first... Okay, so it's like the ocean is like a portal. Like a wayport. Well, if it's a flat Earth, below the ocean would be space. Oh. You guys don't know anything about science.

Flat space. It feels like... Flat space. Flat space theory. Space is also flat. Flat space theory is great. It's just a drawing. It's like when Wile E. Coyote

draws like a tunnel on a big piece of rock. It just goes out in each direction forever. First of all, guys, space is up. Space seems to be up. It depends on your perspective.

Space is everywhere, isn't it? Space is also down. Yeah. No, it's not. Like if you go through the ocean enough, you do get to space. You do get to Mars.

Yeah. Dude, look at the space. Hank, you sound insane. No, but if you look into it. He kind of got your ass a little Mars. Yeah, dude, look at the space. Hank, you sound insane. No, but if you look into... He kind of got your ass a little bit. First of all, it's the rug. First of all, that's a rug. If you look into water, you can see your reflection.

Are you up or are you down? Ooh. Listen to her. His nose is bleeding. Get him off camera. Get him off camera. Yeah, are you up or are you down? I don't know.

Who am I? Am I an illusion? Yeah, I don't know. Who am I? Am I an illusion? Yeah, I don't know. Am I just a story that I tell to myself? Right. Maybe it's just a reflection. Yeah. Can I do like the last?

Maybe he's the real guy. Maybe the last 30 seconds. Maybe I'm dreaming now and when I'm dreaming, that's real life. No. I'm for sure dreaming right now. Yeah, I love that one. I do like that. Yeah, that's my favorite.

I like dreaming being real. Yeah. A dream is what your heart makes. I heard that one before. Mine? Did you make that up? Yeah, I'm a bit of a poet. Would you like to join the band?

Would you like to join the band? It's full. I'm doing guitar. I think we maybe can do one more conspiracy before we wrap up. One that isn't true, unlike that one. Unlike that one, which is absolutely true. And you heard it here first first and Hank corroborated it yeah yeah

flat space theory underneath oh wait hashtag conspiracy theory hashtag conspiracies hashtag scary hashtag firmament now reach the audience

he's just using the hashtags oh you are aren't you hashtag hoax yeah you get to these by searching these hashtags right

well yeah search firmament it's my homepage on my PC. It's the Firmament hashtag. Are you guys on Firmament talk? Yeah. I checked it and they all said yes.

Bunch of TikToks. And then Hank says no. One guy. I'm good. Firmament is such a great word. Can I do like the last, an epilogue to every episode of SciShow and it's me right at the end? I'm like.

I don't know about that. Bullshit. That seems wrong you need to stitch it on tiktok and just go vaccines for peanut butter blocking the blinds don't you go don't listen to him um okay this actually this one this is this one's truly deranged. The first clue I will give is Chinasaurus. Chinasaurus? Sa-us, he's British.

Chinasaurus! He's British. Chinasaurus! Chinasaurus, yeah. Like, Chinasaurus Rex? Chinese dinosaurs. I'm so sorry. He's British with the first people.

He's a Godzilla? Like a Chinese, Chinasaurus. Like Jurassic Park with British Jeff Goldblum. Yeah. Fucking Chinasaurus. Watch out. Oh, Jesus. Like Jurassic Park with British Jeff Goldblum. Yeah. Fucking John Doe's a little bit more. Watch out. Oh Jesus. I think he's in all the phones.

Wait, is this the weather balloon? China Saw. China Saw. Just to be clear. Oh, could be. I think the weather balloon. Is it the weather balloon one? Yeah, the spy balloon.

Yeah, but like specifically, I don't know. But China can always see us. Yeah, they got satellites up there. Yeah, you just have to look down. The world is slowly coming to a halt. This world is full of people. They're under this rug. Yeah, maybe China has a network of spy devices everywhere. Because then they'll say some stuff about how there's more surveillance. And like, I don't know.

Is this about a person named China into a china shop destroys the whole place in Chinatown. Oh my God. That's why Donald Trump lost the election. Oh my God. Finally someone cracked it. God, I want a chai right now. I'm going to microbe myself with a chai.

I'll drink a chai tea. Second clue. Not mean. Oh, there's another clue. Second clue. No Camarasaurus. What? No. Camarasaurus? You got to spell, no Camarasaurus. What? No. Camarasaurus?

You gotta spell. No Camarasaurus. Camarasaurus. Did you say camera? No Camarasaurus. Oh yeah. Is that true? Yeah.

Oh you're joking. No Camarasaurus. No, you're joking. No, it's not even Chinasaurus. No Americans in the band. No Camarasaurus. I don't have an accent like that. A dream is to wish your heart makes.

Oh, a dream is to wish your heart makes. Oh, dream is to wish your heart makes. I can't do it. We're doing great. We fall asleep. You two are kicked out. Just the boys. We call it Unibus.

Flat space theory. It's a good thrash metal there. No, C-A-M-A-R-A-S-A-U-R-U-S Camerasaurus It sounds like a skippity toilet theory Maybe What's the skippity toilet theory? Do you know what skippity toilet is?

If you go down in the toilet and you reach Mars Space I have so many questions I feel like we're saying words that are just You have to hit me again and I gotta pretend like I can Me too. I feel like we're saying words that are just... You have to hit me again and I gotta pretend like I can understand you. Yeah. Yeah.

I'll be honest. Most of the time I was taking up trying to think of dinosaur names that also sound somewhat related to China. Oh, so you just made that up. So I looked up Jeff Goldlockdocus. Okay. Jeff.

Jeff Goldlockdopus? Jeff Goldlockdocus. Jeff Goldlock. Jeff Goldlocktopus. Jeff Goldlocktopus. Jeff Goldlock. Jeff Goldlocktopus. Give me the phone. Need I say it out loud? Give me the phone. Remember when we were like,

we have a very special guest, and we were like, someone's going to scrub forward in the video. They're going to go to this moment. What is happening? Jeff Goldlocktopus. I'm here by myself. Am I alone, anyone? Jeff Goldluck. I'm here by myself. Anyone?

Jeff Goldluck. Anybody? Jeff Goldluck. Wait, so was that the second clue or you were tricking us? That was the third to final clue. Can you not go ahead? Okay, give me the three in a row because I'm very confused. Chinasaurus.

Chinasaurus. No camerasaurus. No camerasaurus. I'll throw a netter. There's no evidence of it. You know, no camerasaurus. I'll throw a netter. There's no evidence of it. You know, no Camarasaurus. Oh, no dinosaurs? Okay.

So no. Jeff. Fossils are fake. Goblin, but I made it sound like it. Jeff Goldblum. Jurassic Park, Jeff Goldblum. Yeah. Made it look like a dinosaur.

Okay, so there are dinosaurs. I'm so confused. So is this about dinosaurs or what? Well, I mean, the final piece of evidence is, actually, maybe it was proven because a woman that was from vacation reportedly saw it on the news itself. Go ahead, Paul. Oh, she was on vacation and saw the news. That is a one to one.

She was on vacation that were proven real. Oh, that's gorgeous. I don't believe you. China dinosaur theory. Hold on, pull it back a little bit. China dinosaur. China dinosaur theory. Hold up, pull it back a little bit. China dinosaur. China dinosaur. China dinosaur theory.

According to this theory, China found an island that is full with dinosaurs. A woman that was for vacation in China saw it on the news itself. They sent the woman to an uncharted island

and they were found multiple new dinosaurs. That's very exciting. Is that the plot of a movie? Isn't that... Yeah, Dinotopia. to an uncharted island and they were found multiple new dinosaurs. That's very exciting. Is that the plot of a movie? Isn't that? Isn't that the movie? Yeah, Dinotopia. It was a comic.

It was like a graphic novel series that I read when I was a kid. Really? Yeah, it was like you wake, like you get in a car crash, like you get in a plane crash and then you're like marooned on a surprise island

and it's Dinotopia where humans and dinosaurs live together in peace. Oh, that sounds cute. Can you be marooned on a not surprise island? Oh, Dinotopia where humans and dinosaurs live together in peace. Oh, that sounds cute. Can you be marooned on a not surprise island? Oh, I wrote it down. Oh, this is, oh.

I mean, you all sound skeptical, but may I remind you, a woman that was from vacation reportedly saw it on the news itself. From vacation. From vacation. On the news, but on vacation. I think that this was

completely generated with AI. Oh, yeah. Every aspect of this. I don't want to tag the visuals who are there. You can just be like, can you make me like

25 conspiracy theory TikToks? And it's like, yeah. Yeah. And it's like, I'll put them on your channel right now. Yeah. I mean, hey,

if there's someone on vacation. Yeah, we might take that. Get into something. Make a pivot. Yeah. Not a pivot. We'll just add an addition. Don't do the fraud part, though. No, no, no. But can you ask ChatGVT might take that get into make a pivot yeah not a pivot don't we'll just add an addition yeah don't

do the fraud part though no no no but can you ask chat gbt to make a good fraud scheme you can do like fraud but quiet okay a quiet yeah don't make tiktoks about it you can do a full fraud video make it 16 20 minutes long something like that and then by the end go just kidding i don't know i'm not down with fraud. All right, good. Period. We don't have to do that. We stand for something on this podcast. Allegedly not down with fraud.

Not down with fraud. Why are you winking? What's the most fraud you've ever did? What is the most fraud I ever ever did Yeah take out those glasses I'm just thinking for a second I can check my notes up And see what's the most Fraud I ever did

There was actually A woman in China That went on vacation From where the You made that AI video Yeah I cheated on some tests That's kind of fraud

Not the smart guy I've plagiarized Every single essay I've ever written In my entire life Whoa that's a lot of them I've never read any I cheated on some tests. That's kind of broad. Not the smart guy. I've plagiarized every single essay I've ever written in my entire life. What? Whoa, that's a lot of them. You've plagiarized every what? I've read books at school because they were too heavy to hold, you know, too big, too scary. I feel like you're not telling 100% the truth. I still didn't read any of the books, but I did.

Pretty, you know, there's a thin line between referencing a source and saying the words. And just sort of like paraphrasing what they say. I remember there was this guy that said some shit about this. Actually, I think the same thing. One of the many books I read about this topic. Okay, that's not too bad a fraud. Yeah. What about you?

That's a little fraud. Okay. Oh, no. What's your fraud? What's the worst thing you've ever done? So, okay, this is one where I did, I only did it once because I was curious. So a little fraud curious, a little fraud curious in college, in college, we had these vending machines that you could tap your student ID.

I have done fraud. You reminded me of fraud. Should we go through every crime and you can yeah this is a really weird i was like a you know i was like a computer science major i was thinking about technology all the time um i wanted to get like a snickers bar or something and you tap your card and then it says like four dollar balance and then you type in the number b5 and then you get vended your thing you know how vending machines work. And so I was like, interesting that it loads up the balance

before the transaction, but then it doesn't deduct those things from my card, like my card balance until after the transaction's completed. And so I looked behind the vending machine and I disconnected the ethernet cable to test to see if it did validation

to security test it and then I got my Snickers bar and it didn't charge me so I figured out how to steal from the vending machine but I never did it again I never did it again because I was just curious you were using your studies

it was an applied research excursion yeah yeah that's what i said to the dean of students they're expelling me from professor you don't get it yeah that's not that bad oh yeah one thing that did happen that's uh not fraud but you know i don't okay not a lot of people know this but uh emails can be spoofed. So like you don't really know if an email is sent from the sender that it's sent from unless you like look at the actual like stuff, the source of the email, which most people won't do. So I could have any email address and then like send an email saying it was from Hank and it would appear as if it was from Hank.

Things like Gmail now do a better job of detecting things like this. But back in the day, this was like a real thing. So when I was in college, a group of students sent a fake job posting. Do you remember Portal? The game? The game. Yeah. So yeah.

Everyone. Okay, sorry. Forget I said remember Portal. We remember it too. You remember it too. Yeah, it was a big thing back in the day. A group of students sent an email pretending to be the dean of students with a fake job posting from Aperture Laboratories.

And then they all got in trouble, like a lot, because people thought they hacked. They hacked into the email, which would be a big cyber crime. But it's not what happened. They just spoofed it. But all of these computer science professors and stuff got so heated over it and they were like we didn't hack anyone yeah but it was and they had to like uh some of them got like kicked out of

uh class for a certain amount of time had to like write essays had to like go into like a student court thing it was wild as a prank bro that's what i'm saying it's just a prank bro when i was in college uh it was pretty early in the internet and there was a listserv that had everybody like there was an email that you could email that would email everyone in school which is a very bad idea uh and at one point somebody wrote like to that thing and they were like people need to wash their hands after going to the bathroom and then a professor wrote back to everyone at the school and was like no you don't oh hell yeah dude oh no and he was in the uh holding hands class and then like the public health professor was like, yeah, you do.

I remember early in the pandemic, multiple people said to me, I mean, they're saying every time. Like now you have to wash your hands like every fucking day. It just says employees. I don't work here. My hands are dirt. There's rules.

I'm followed. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's all jazz, baby. Drinking rules. I'm following. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's all jazz, baby. Yeah. Drinking water. I feel like I need to say what my fraud was because I said that I did one. Yep.

When I was in college, there was this thing where you could sign up to have them put ads on your computer and then for all the time you spent on your computer, you'd get paid

a little bit of money and there'd just be like a pop-up ad always on your computer and I installed some software that just like faked that your mouse was moving around and like left my computer running all the time and then they also had an affiliate program where you get paid if other people you got to sign up did that like use the service so i got everybody at college to also sign up for it and

then told them all about the thing that moved their mouse around. I took 5% of the break. And then that company went out of business. Oh, that's like significant. Because of you. I think because of me and people like me. I think I wasn't the only one who had the thought. So like how much money did you make at the most?

I don't know, like 500 bucks. That's good. When did you do this? 1999 or 2000. Pull up the statute of limitations on it. I think I'm good. I think that people at all advantage went on to other better things. One time in college, the bursar's office accidentally deposited $10,000 into my account. And then I got an email threatening to expel me from school

if I didn't give it back. And I was like, I didn't do that. What happened to finders keepers? Where's the first email that's like, please, pretty please? Also, hey, we made a mistake. I didn't steal it from you. It was weird. Yeah, this is kind of small bean.

Like, hey. Yeah. It was the scariest email ever where I was just like ah at first i was like there's no way this is gonna turn around yeah i spent it already i bought 9999 things might be shoot i bought a lot of snickers bars i did once get my uh my my debit card payment information stolen because i got an email saying that there was a, when I was in college and I was just terrified of like not any money going missing, literally any amount.

I got an email from Lloyd's Bank, I thought at the time, which is my bank. And after I sent my credit card information, the UK equivalent of an SSN, I noticed that the website it had linked me to was labradorsavailable.net. Oh, no. Which is, why that one? They should have, like, Lloyd's Bank time. No, because they stole labradorsavailable.net earlier that day.

No, from someone that really wanted to labrador. Yeah, somebody with a bunch of labradors going, no! I have so many labradors available. This is the keyest problem ever. And no website. No website. is going no I have so many Labradors available and no website no website no one will know about the Labradors I have they're so available

all right well this was super duper fun we've never frauded yeah we don't have any fraud stories well we didn't even expect it in your 42 years of living yeah but in college I got frauded I thought I got frauded. I thought I got frauded on, you know? You got frauded on? I thought that a homeless man was a hipster.

And I invited him over to my house, to my apartment. It was like my first week moved out here to LA. I'm from Texas. I'm from Dallas, Texas. You know, just a sweet homegrown girl. And you're like, hipsters should come over. Yeah. Sometimes it's like, are they homeless or are they a hipster?

Yeah. You don't know out here. So I fell for that. I fell for it. He was just like, little lady, I have a predilection. I want to find myself a place to live and sleep. No, he didn't say that. He just wanted to hang out.

Did he fraud you or did he just like, he didn't like take any money. The fraud was just like identity misrepresentation. He didn't take any money, he was just at the end of the night he was like, yeah, I'm kinda homeless. And I'm like, uh. Sometimes hipsters are homeless. Yeah, that's true. Yeah.

And it's like. Ma'am, I just co-opted the aesthetics of homelessness for clout and attention. Yeah, it started that way. At first I thought I was just trying to like look cool. And then I suddenly I was actually homeless turns out the life

of an outlaw is out on the range and not in like an apartment you can't sign a lease hey it's okay to be homeless by the way

it is but not a cowpoke but not do fraud yeah don't do fraud regardless of your housing status you might

might as well you gotta do something It's true So hey If you're not I don't get To do fraud Fraud within reason

Honestly Just a little fraud here A little fraud is totally fine A little fraud here Tell Chase You didn't actually Make that payment Isn't fraud

If your drug dealer Steals your money If you like Pay your drug dealer And they don't give you drugs Is that fraud I feel like that's fraud Yeah they are frauding you

But you can't do it You can't do it Because it's illegal Yeah You can be You can be like mean to them I've been frauded I feel like that's fraud. Yeah, they are frauding you, but you can't do anything about it. Because it's illegal. You can be mean to them. I've been frauded. What were you buying?

Drugs. There's a lot of fraud going on in high school. I'm currently being frauded because I tried to buy a custom Guitar Hero controller on Etsy. And it's been six months and I heard nothing. I also got frauded about some Magic the Gathering cards. No. And drugs. It's the same period of my life.

I also got frauded for some Pokemon cards recently. Yeah. Like during the pandemic. Yeah. It was on Craigslist though, so you kind of expect it. Yeah. One time someone sold me a stolen iPhone. Oh.

And you know how they're like pretty locked down? Yeah. But it was like in the, like nowadays it's kind of really hard to sell a stolen iPhone because it's really hard to get them like unbroken and stuff. But I was able to get it activated, but then I gave it to a friend and then we found out that it was like blacklisted, like the IMEI number or whatever on the phone was like blacklisted. As a stolen phone. Because they were stolen. whatever on the phone was like blacklisted as a stolen because they're stolen yeah yeah and I was like damn that's why it was a good deal so now I don't

buy uh phones on craigslist that's a good call I bought a dog on craigslist she got frauded it was a fake they were like I have so many labradors available and I recently lost my website I will meet you at Wells Fargo tonight. I met this lady at Wingstop. She said that it was a Maltipoo. Well, first she met her on Craigslist. Yeah. Oh, on the Wings.

Yeah, and then she was like, meet me at Wingstop. Yeah. And I'll give you this Maltipoo. And I was like, okay, please. And then showed me pictures of the Maltipoo, all this stuff. And then it turned out to be a little wiener dog. It was a totally different dog completely different dog but I got catfished by a dog yeah and it looked like it could have been a

multi-poo he was very curly then as he grew he just grew longer and longer and longer what was the plan that happened yeah like I a mystery box. He's a great dog's name is Daddy. You did still take the dog. It was like good. Oh yeah, that's my baby. Nice. My lying little baby. My little pod baby. Another all-Roddy pool. Like does catfishing work sometimes? Maybe that's why they do it.

She found love. I really did. Couldn't ask for anything better. Against my better judgment, I do love the show, Catfish, and just multiple times I've watched the full episode and gone like, I really hope it's a dog. It's so funny if they don't.

It's just been like tapping on the keyboard, walking over it. It's just an actual catfish. All right. Well, this was a wonderful time. It was so good. This was a wonderful time. Thank you, Flyin' a Boss,

for joining us. Yeah, thanks for having us. I mean, you guys have names. Do you use them have names I'm Bobby I'm Flyanna Boss That was awesome That was so cool

We've done over 100 episodes of this show and never gotten that right No We try to say things at the same time all the time and we can't do it Okay ready 1, 2, 3 I'm Bobby Everybody wants to be me And we are I'm Bobby. I'm Bobby. Everybody wants to be me. And we are...

It's sad boys, right? Yeah. Say hi. Let me check. Jacob, pull up the podcast. What's the podcast? Pull up the podcast. Yeah, what's the podcast?

It is sad boys. It says sad boys. Okay, go ahead. Okay, okay. I'm Jarvis. And we are Jarvis. Nope, just me. I'm Jarvis. And I'm me. No, Jarvis. And I'm not me. And we're...

We're Flyin' a Boss. Boys. Flyin' a Boys. And you can also be Flyin' a Boss if you want. That was exclusively. And I just want to say, is there anything that you want to plug? Obviously, like stream your music. Yeah.

Just check it out. It's so good. It's so good. It's so fun. It's the perfect vibes. It's the perfect... You are going to want to dance. You're going to feel good about yourself.

24th vibe of the year. Yeah. Flyin' a Boss. Wow. 2025. You heard it here first. You're going to want to dance. You're going to feel good about yourself. 24th vibe of the year. Yeah. Find a boss. Wow. 2025. Dawn. You heard it here first. We're going to clip that.

2025, you'll be too old. Over. No. 2025, we're falling off the flat earth. Yeah. Let's try to get to China. Portal through the flat earth into space. Going to Mars.

Hang out on the planet. We're falling off Mars. Find Mars. Flat space theory confirmed. Great. Might be an album concept. Oh, yeah. You'll get no credit. and a boss falls off ladders. Find Mars. Flat space theory confirmed. Great. Might be an album concept. Oh, yeah.

You'll get no credit. Oh, but wait, is there anything else? And I don't expect it. Because I want to get a little fried. A little fried. Just a little. Wait, when does this episode

come out? Friday. Oh, wait, no, sorry. Sorry, we normally record on Wednesdays, so it doesn't come out today. Yeah, in about a week. What day is it record on Wednesdays, so it doesn't come out today. Yeah, in about a week.

What day is it? Saturday? Yeah. So it will come out next Friday. Is it the 26th? We have a single dropping called Candyman on Friday the 26th. Hopefully it's this day that it's airing. This was a viral marketing campaign.

Yeah, it's called Candyman for all the lovers out there. And for all the lovers out there, Hank Green. Oh, yes. I am aggressively non-sexual on it. Aggressively. It's a callback to before, but also a fact. Fervent and specific. I don't know.

I'm sure you get hit on in the comments. They're like, that's a man who seems quite tall. In the comments of my TikToks. And I'm like, children, back off. I'm your teacher. That's a tall man. Yeah. I am tall, though.

I don't know. Go to Study Hall. Go to StudyHall.com. See how you might be able to get a little start on your education for a little less money than usual. Ooh. With a partnership with us. Yeah. Fresh Cross Arizona State University and YouTube. That's like your curriculum, right?

Yeah, you sort of start out on YouTube, just get a feel for it. You can start in a little cohort for cheap. And then if you do well, you like how you do, you can get college credit that's transferable to hundreds of schools. That's awesome.

Wow. If I got credit for all the Crash Course I've watched over the years, I would probably have a degree. Can you do it retroactively? Yeah, that's how it works. Y'all are getting your professors. Please.

I watched so much YouTube, guys. Yeah, I really did. All right, we end every episode of Sad Boys with a particular phrase. We love you. And we're sorry. Sorry.