Sad Boyz - Saying Slurs For Clout

Episode Date: April 12, 2024

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Welcome to Sad Boys, a podcast about feelings and other things also. I'm Jarvis. I'm Jordan. And Eddie's here. I didn't know if I should announce myself. Hey. What would you say? I'm Eddie. Eddie's here. Hi.

Maybe do a, hey, career, background, height, strength, UFC weight class, and vibes. Go ahead. I'm keeping, I kept track of all those things. Right. Don't even list them because I just know that you know them. UFC weight class. Big and strong. Just put big and strong

for all of it. Big and strong. That's why you can't fight anyone because you're above heavyweight. Jon Jones is shaking. There's some of that usually. We don't have it with us but where you're a guest on something and they're like

and go for it I don't know what to say about myself he's a comedian, a podcaster, host of the it is shorthand for I don't know who you are I heard something about you you said something about a burger

it's those moments where you know they're like, just tell us about yourself. It's like, I don't have anything. You own Rainforest Cafe. It's kind of a tell that they didn't prepare. Yeah. If they're throwing it to you to introduce yourself, because who wants to do that ever?

Right. Tom Cruise goes, yeah, I'm an actor. Make movies. I broke my foot that time. Remember? Held onto a plane. Do all my own stunts. and i don't have a personal life and nothing happens and i'm not religious at all i won't sit down for the episode i'll jump on the couch aliens what like the movie oh come on would i be that oh great i'm zebulon right of course uh. Laughing as his antennae are revealed.

This is the thing that we do where we have a guest on, but it's just a friend, so we don't have to interview you about your life. Yeah, I'm just here. So Eddie just showed up. He showed up to the wrong place at first, and then he was like, I don't know how to get home. And he was like, well, you can come in.

You can come on the podcast. Yeah, yeah. I usually bang. Anytime an episode is happening here, I'm banging don't know how to get home. And he was like, well, you can come in. You can come on the podcast. Yeah, yeah. I usually bang. Anytime an episode is happening here, I'm banging on the glass trying to get in. Yeah, and Jake does a really good job of cutting it out in post. Yeah, I know. I make it really hard, too, because I use different items

other than my fist. I'll use, you know, like a rock or something. Yeah. They do not look good, those windows. Like a 14th century cast iron sword. The glass looks like when, you know, you have someone who had a dog in their car and they scratched it all up. In our defense, we're playing your favorite music in there.

We've got the air conditioning on. We make sure you're not in any kind of danger. We put up a sign that goes, we'll be right back. Eddie's fine. That shit bothers me so much. I'm like, okay, well, maybe logistically the dog's not in like literal danger but you need to bring a dog with it yeah do you need when you go to coles do you need the dog with you like in the car right maybe if you're also walking the dog maybe do that and go on

when i come back he's panting like crazy i'm teaching him to drive the only uh yeah the only time that's come up is like when you have to like stop for some reason or like an emergency or something. Yeah, I can't. There's been very, very few times that I've had my dog with me where I've needed to go do something. But it's usually on the way back from like the park or something where he's like asleep. And I have the dog mode where I can like turn on the AC. And so it, you you know shows what the temperature is inside the car to any curious onlookers anyone curious did you that it like

shows up too yeah it says like you know it's hey it's it's 65 degrees in here the ac is on we're chilling address if lost how's it going eddie what the hell have you been up to again that's like we aren't friends we don't give up or whatever Eddie you just dropped a video on YouTube the world will never be the same you

took down Apple wake up babe Apple stock Steve Jobs died again after my review. Jesus. Oh, shit. You got him? Wait, real quick.

Did you see that that happened with an MKBHD review? That what happened? Steve Jobs died again. No. Three times deep now. No, no, no. So there's this company called Fisker. And they make like-

Oh, he reviewed their car terribly, right? Yeah. The review wasn't terrible, but he gave a, he said the car was shit. Basically, he was like, this car isn't ready for primetime, essentially. But they were like, they hit him up and they were like, we have an over the air update coming in a few weeks. Can you please hold off your review until then? And he's like, it's not my policy to like wait for you to be in your best light before i review it also that's not how a reviewer because it's on the market right now someone can buy it and this is the experience they're gonna get we just watched the review i don't like this i don't

like this and then their stock tanked like 40 jesus christ yeah it was like a and then their investor call or whatever they like had to talk about his like youtube video it was crazy and then obviously like it's not his fault right they have to talk about marquez YouTube video. It was crazy. And then obviously like, it's not his fault. Right. They have to talk about Marquez. Like he's the punisher. Yeah. We lost another business.

Yeah. I don't have Marquez's impact on not only, I mean, I don't think he could probably do it to Apple, but also people, I had somebody, uh, the comments and everything have been great. I usually try to not to look. And after I have something goes out, it's's just like I have my own personality with it. If people like it, then I'll be like, good.

And then I don't look. But I did see one comment that was like, this is the least informative tech review I've ever seen. It's like, it's because I'm not a reviewer. That's not actually a review. I tricked you. That's the guy who used to comment

on my old YouTube videos. I liked the tech information. Can you please get rid of the jokes? Like that was a real person who was like, I just don't like the comedy. Can you remove it so that I can get the information better? Any Redditor that is scrolling the internet and sees a video on Reddit,

like they access YouTube through Reddit. They're like, this video needs to be 30 seconds long. There should be no entertainment value. It should basically be like three images that flash and then print the information on my brain. I need it to go into my brain so intensely and quickly that I forget math.

I need it to hit me. I need some of my hair to be blown back. Now, Eddie, do what you do and tell us about the video. I was trying to do the lazy podcast. Describe whatever the fuck your video is. Local news story about a stand-up comedian that's come back to his hometown. Why don't you tell us a couple of little jokes?

Oh, yeah, you do stand-up. So you paid $3,500 for the Vision Pro. Yeah. And I didn't, by the way, I didn't get to return it. The video took me over a month and the window is like two weeks. I, somebody, one of the things that somebody was like, God, I hope you made the return window. I did not, but yeah, sorry. You were saying no. Uh, I, I just wanted to say that it's a good video. It's a good, like, you know, you talk about your experience in it. You talk about our place in society with technology

and what these companies are trying to do. Also, we were talking about it when you were producing the video and you worked really hard on it, and I'm proud of you. So if anybody wants to go over to Eddie's channel and watch the video. Wait until this episode's done. Wait, no, no, don't go. The engagement does affect the income. No, please.

Don't expect a tech review. Wait till this episode's done. Wait, no, no, don't go. The engagement does affect the income. So let's like. No, please. No, stop. Don't expect a tech review. It's like, it's called Apple's $3,500 nightmare, but it's not like a, really a takedown of really the product. But I. Which would be an insane title for like a regular review. Yeah.

It's like the nightmare bit. Isn't just because the product is bad. It's because of the whole thing in general. It's like the dystopian outlook. Yeah, when I was talking about it with Jarvis, because I think we went out like, which that was also the day that you weren't around, Jordan, that Friday. What was it like maybe a week before I put the video up?

Yeah. And it was something that like specifically the, yeah, again, it's like not exactly about the product, but it's about the idea of a wearable AR technology. Yeah. And the fact that like basically the relationship of like humans with reality basically. And the fact that like if you ingrain technology physically into somebody's vision it will change the way your brain works and so it's like

I saw that product and I was like I have to make a video because it might be kind of cool which every bit of technology anything that fucks us over there's one kind of cool thing so people are like oh you know it's fun it is fun to see a piece of technology where they're like,

the general consensus that always comes out when really there's any kind of, I hate the term, but like industry leading motion in a particular technology. It's always interesting to see the fate list. Oh, this is, chat GPT is the first stage in the singularity. And I always feel like a lot of us have to be skeptical about that and push back and say ai has been a part of your life for decades you just didn't know yeah also my question is the problems that we're currently facing are not that doesn't fix any of them and so i I'm like, I, the, the aspects that they're trying to improve,

I already like those aspects of my life. Right. Like I don't need, I can pull up a recipe just fine. I don't need it floating next to the pan. That's exactly right. That is like the, the thesis kind of not to talk anything about your video is that it is,

you know, some of those theories would be valid in this case. This is a like weird embellishment on life a devaluing of reality like it's not enhanced yeah i so the last thing i guess i'll say on it as well as like because i want us to you know move on to other stuff is like i don't want to talk about my own shit too much and we made you so but uh it was like you're like oh we're we're cutting this all out a couple little jokes pal but uh you know i think like you know i kind of went into being a little bit more like vulnerable

and honest with the way i uh i'm trying to not just i guess like really express things not just through comedy all the time with uh which i will always do but uh like all of the time with my sphere video and then with this one it's weird because like the intention sorry it's not i guess a spoiler at the end of the video you're not gonna feel great i'd assume um but it's weird to have an intention to be like i think the only thing i wanted to add to this conversation was like the feet i wanted people to leave the video with the like feeling that making it and the inspiration to make it gave me right and uh it's very weird because i i had to put it up on a friday night just because like sponsor

stuff it's very weird to be like okay i'm finally done this kind of torture for me for months this is such a big project that i worked on uh i'm gonna go grab a drink and all the comments are like hey i'm high and it's a fr Friday night and I'm like having a panic attack. Other than the panic attack ones, people who were like, wow, this made me feel awful. I'm like, yes. You're welcome. I'm sorry.

No, no, I was just going to say for like, you know, obviously this $3,500 piece of technology is not meant for the everyman at this current stage. And it's, I think it's important to have critiques at this because you're no one's ever going to stop like a trillion dollar company from like doing whatever you know they want to do and so i think that this is a great time to kind of put the idea in front of the consumer so that we can be more we can have the tools like it's like i worked in tech for all these years so it's like i'm already tech cynical but like if you uh to the average consumer

it's like very helpful to like think about these things or what the goals of companies are when they're putting these products out it's okay to have like a i think a lot of people are resistant to criticizing companies because they maybe don't want to identify as anti-capitalists or imbue that yeah instinct with some kind of political viewpoint which you know personally i'm fine doing that but some people don't want to give it too much weight because it scares them and they don't want to feel bad about being a landlord or whatever but it's you know it's okay that your dad worked at insurance and this technology makes you feel a little eerie because it's a little eerie. It has weird implications.

It's like, well, reality is in 1080p. Don't you want to be 1440? I'm like, my reality is in 1080p. And the one case I'd say with that that I wanted to put out, I guess, for our time currently, I feel like it's really easy when you're at a certain point with technology to look back and just, like, assume everyone adopted it rather than it being kind of, like, forced on people. Right.

Like, cars in America, possibly. The fact that we don't have walkable cities anymore. LA specifically where, you know, maybe the public transit industry was invested into by car companies and then destroyed in Los Angeles. Maybe the Revolutionary War kind of fucked you guys up, huh? Ever been to London, pal? My hope is, like, I guess the last, last thing I'll say is that, like,

I was getting really worried about young people growing up. Already, I mean, there's people we grew up where there was a time where social media, we watched it happen. But when, if you're just a few years after us, these are just like regular pillars of your life. Like even the fact, I'm working on a video with Tony where we're researching like how some like Hollywood stuff developed with like renting movies. Even the concept of going to the movie theater and then not accessing a movie a few months later and having to wait for it to rescreen in like 10 years is it doesn't feel real to me it feels foreign yeah the value proposition being literally don't miss this right and so like if you are especially younger than us it's like i part of the video and the feeling of it is like i want those people to know

it's not fair that you have to turn yourself into a public product for people at the age of nine when you make an Instagram account. It's not normal at all. And the reason for it is literally just because Mark Zuckerberg is like, I have all these employees. I have, we have a stock price and I need to to be holding to these investors and it has to keep going yes and because and everyone wants to make 100x their investment right and because of those pressures of the system that is built you especially like young girls are now looking at their body in a way they have in the past but never have to this heightened detail and then they have to present it to the world as children. And it's like, you have to verify the insecurities everyone has naturally. Yeah.

And then kind of entertain them for the rest of your life. Right. And obviously like other things about the world were worse before. I'm not saying it's only getting worse. Like that aspect of your life. If you're young is a recent creation that wasn't even intended to harm you like this but like it's good that you should know that it's just so another rich person at the end of the year can look at their portfolio and be like god damn i did a good job yeah it's the it's the profit motive

yeah and like that has side effects you don't just keep getting to like you in order to make that money you have to squeeze something out of somewhere. And it's like squeeze the attention out of people. It does feel like we, I mean, yeah, having observed that in a minor way, I remember having to, I was actively pushing my friends to get Facebook because they were still using a MySpace or a Bebo or whatever. I'm like, get with the times. I want to poke you, dude. And that push, in retrospect, what was my motivation? It was the sensation that I was ahead.

I was winning the curve. And I feel like ever since then, there's been a lot of reverse propaganda almost to say, oh, hey, old man, you really think it's... When you criticize the fact that everybody's just thinking about the follower count okay dude philistine back in the times but it is weird it is a little bit peculiar that even like myself i'm trying to present myself as you know what do i care i'm a straightforward kind of normal guy i care right i'm into it i remember what it was like before but i am somewhat invested in hitting social milestones even if i'm not posting and that yeah if you grew up with that and you don't even see the you don't have

any cynicism about it and you have a friend with 100 more followers than you and you have i don't know you have 200 followers your friend has 300 you're both in high school right how could you not metabolize that as failure on your part exactly and that's why even with like video stuff now i was like we have all reached at least to a level like by the way when youtubers get an ego about their following or anyone on the internet there are a billion people with a lot of followers online right now it's like you are not special shame is important yeah but like once you get whatever that is it's like nothing truly nothing changes and in fact when it gets to a level of like say you have a million after your name you're like oh

it's actually really gross if anyone sees me differently and i don't blame them because it's the systems but it's like i'm it's something that yeah you you want to put i guess back into like i'm sure you know you guys have definitely talked about this before on the podcast but like you want to put out there in the world and be like if you're young these pressures are real on you yeah but i promise you it will not make you happy yeah like not none of that will and and it's not for the easy reasons of it being a group that you already hated maybe and i got bad news going for a walk is going to do a billion more things for you than that going for a walk and sniffing a flower is truly the time-tested way to feel better as a human being. It's the way to do it in connection with your community.

I don't know. I've got this dopamine cube here, and it does amazing things for me. We're actually doing war. The final truth I think I'll say is I saw somebody was like, hey, I loved your video about the Vision Pro. I do think there are some positives, like, for example, this meditation app that gives you cool visuals. And it's like, may I suggest just meditating

with no distractions? Like, you don't need this. I don't want to gatekeep stuff. I mean, I don't even meditate, but that sounds like it's not meditation. You know, I'm sure that you can do meditation and you don't have to have your eyes closed, but it's stimulation.

But anyway, there's always going to be positives. It's just I think you you don't want to just look at any of the positives as like a panacea to validate something. It doesn't it's not invalid to criticize something, even if it has upside. Yeah. And there's so that's why it's like, you know, I don't want to be super pessimistic about everything but occasionally you want to make a piece that's a little pessimistic about the things you don't like and i like the imagination that somebody starts maybe like binging my videos for the first time maybe at like 5 p.m and then like they so it's like fucking the road trip videos and then it gets dark and they're just illuminated by

their laptop light after this new video yeah what the fuck what do i do now i was here to see you go to a bunch of fucking restaurants dude i thought you were gonna freaking i thought you just were gonna go to every apple campus in the world what happened to the knees thing yeah they started really early yeah why's this guy got a mustache you don't understand i gotta reverse it by doing another road trip video called desperate youtuber milks the cow till the udders spit dust yeah it's you it's uh it's the thumbnail is all of the comments saying to do another road trip video yeah and then you weeping and saying okay i'm sorry everyone yeah uh it's a screenshot of your comment your comment analytics for that video um okay so i know the perfect thing to move us on to the next topic and it's

to watch this video that people keep sending me called jarvis johnson lifestyle girlfriend biography engineer hobbies facts net worth uh oh it's one of the websites that like wait oh it's it's a video I don't know I haven't watched it let me see that thumb bow

can I wait the thumb bow is like is that the merch just photographs of me yeah it's like you guys call them thumbnail thumb bows

I've never heard sometimes I've never heard I like it but I've never heard it let's observe the IP of the creator if you use it you have to do a But I've never heard it. Let's observe the IP of the creator. If you use it, you have to do a commentary on it

to make sure that it's fair use. Do you remember, I'm sure this is something similar too. There was a YouTube channel. It wasn't just focused on me, but I found during the summer when I was on the last road trip that just like would make these fake with an image of me and a celebrity, just like a bunch of videos that said like we had beef.

I think it happened to Danny as yeah to this person versus this person yeah where they'd be like like youtuber Eddie Burback is beefing with Nicole Kidman I think back in my day you know someone would animate a cartoon that had beef with me right make it sound like I was really into breast milk whoa come on now fancy TV how did they know? Dude, that's got to feel good. Good views relative to the others. Hey, let's go.

That's not. Oh, that is you in the third image. You had way more than Bryce Hall's. Yeah, way more than Bryce Hall. Can I just say, maybe the views come from the one third of my face that is featured in the corner of the image. Oh, yeah. Jacob, can we humble him real quick? Can you click on popular instead of latest? Oh, yeah, humble me. Oh, yeah. Jacob, can we humble him real quick? Can you click on popular instead of latest?

Oh, yeah, humble me. Oh, Brett Rivera. Brett Rivera's got you destroyed. That's the thing. He always gets the last laugh. We can criticize Brett Rivera, but he always gets the last laugh. And you know how he even got the even laster laugh? Is if you go back to the most recent videos,

the thumbnail is of me with uh brit rivera's ex can i make a tiny detour really quick something hilarious that happened i will only talk about it on here rather i didn't want to post about it it was months ago it's hilarious okay um uh fucking brent did uh going to every gordon ramsay video ramsay's restaurant video whoa it's an ad for them, by the way, which officially, yeah,

which I can, can I say again, like, I'm not encouraging you to give these corporations money. Like I didn't like it, but, um, uh,

he did that and he copied, originally copied my thumbnail. Exactly. It's a bird. And the, the description had credit for the idea to me even though technically ted's idea and then we both did it but uh then he changed the thumbnail and removed me from the description right oh i have a i have a theory that it was like uh an editor that did it

and then and then he was like don't fucking he has a he has a history of just ripping thumbnails. Oh, yeah. Didn't Danny make a whole video on him copying stuff? Probably. They have beef. I just censored myself and said stuff instead of shit. Hey, we appreciate it. What the fuck happened? Can you calm down?

Sorry. I definitely don't want to watch this video, but I am going to assume it's narrated by an AI. Wait, yeah, we can't watch a little bit? No, we can watch a little bit. I want to watch a little watch a little bit oh yeah it's four minutes long oh cool fancy tv this video is made for entertainment it looks like they stole that looks so oh how'd they do that jarvis allen johnson what Allen Johnson also known as

Jarvis Johnson he just took out the middle name thanks for that aka date of birth 5 May 1992 okay

this is directions to hack your accounts present age 32 years old as of 2024 he did the math wrong I don't know how he did that birthplace

Gainesville Florida United States mother's this the whole thing? Mother's maiden name. Is it slides? Oh, that's a nice picture. Is that from Dynasty? Cassius.

Nationality, American. What? That's... Zodiac sign, Taurus. Respect. Is that true? Yeah. Religion, Christianity.

Oh, hell yeah. Okay. That's cool. Congrats, man. You can save. Ethnicity. Mixed. Opinions.

Racist. Height. Oh, me and Zara. Six feet. Six one, but thank you. Weight. 65 kilograms. What is that? How did he guess weight body type average

what does that mean thank you i don't know the spectrum what the hell 65 kilos 143 pounds six foot and a hundred body type average. Body type average. Eye color, black natural. Black natural. Your eyes are brown. They're brown. Isn't that photo there, bro?

Just a picture. Just a nice photo. Hey, it's me, Russell. Eastside High School. I was at Russell's wedding. Isn't it weird? Don't say where you went to school. University.

Georgia Institute of Technology. They're reading my Wikipedia article. Oh, so Russell was on the back of the room. Qualification. Bachelor of Science. Have either of us appeared in any of these photos? Have I? Yeah, that's kind of one of these.

It's a weird selection. I don't think we need to talk about that. What's crazy is that they have that I got high honors on my treat, which is true. That's kind of random. You go to weigh yourself and you're like 143 or whatever the hell. And in kilograms for some reason. You know, average being a skeleton. What is, I'm excited to get to hobbies.

Another picture of Mike. Mike's wedding. That's so funny to have a photo of you at a Mike. Mike's wedding. That's so funny to have a photo of you at a wedding. It was Patreon where Johnson This is the hobbies part.

He neatly posted software engineering videos before he began posting as a commentary YouTuber after watching a video from Hugo's This is more or less true. He quit his job

at Patreon to post regularly on his channel. Okay. In August 2018 traffic to Johnson's channel increased

after follow YouTuber Cody Co uploaded a video. This is true. What like you got an algorithm bump from Cody Co? We don't know for sure

but like But they put that in your life story is that Cody Co gave you an algorithm bump one time in 2018? Is there a chance this is from like an interview or something? Yeah, because like Cody made a video

about 5-Minute Crafts like six months after I did. So I changed the title of mine. But the only thing I really changed was that Cody's video is called 5-Min Crafts. And my video is called The Worst Life Hacks I've Ever Seen. And then I changed my's video is called Five Men Crafts. And my video is called The Worst Life Hacks I've Ever Seen. Okay. And then I changed my title to Five Men Crafts is the Worst Channel on YouTube. Okay, yeah.

That's what I... And then did it change the video like completely? The video got like, it had 15,000 views and it got 2 million views. Oh, okay. So that doesn't matter. Okay. But it's like, it matters because there's like my huge like come up moment, but it's still unclear to me whether or not it was related to cody co or not but my whole thought process was like it was i was at the

wedding that they showed me at and i saw cody co posted that video and so i was like oh you're unmarried i didn't think of using the name of the channel now that a big youtuber has talked about it people probably know the name of the channel so let me change my title because i was already experimenting you know with titles yeah yeah it is extremely funny to show a photo of you with a bride and then say unmarried yeah that is funny because that implies you were divorced they also meryl stannis not her unmarried also uh this frame looks like it's from a true doc a true crime documentary where you got killed i die yeah that's a black and white photo like he was he was just such a light to be around.

He's like 65 kilograms, six feet. Always laughing. Always laughing. Unmarried. The unmarried killer. Black eyes like a doll's eyes. Where does it go from here? We're putting out an APB in 65 kilograms.

Hobbies. Oh, we get into hobbies. Wait, guess. Wait, there's multiple hobbies? Yeah, Rubik's Cube, maybe. Maybe they'll mention Rubik's Cube. Skateboarding? If it doesn't mention Pokemon, I'm going to...

Oh, Pokemon, yeah. Let's start the hobbies. Oh, this guy's in his own section. He likes to stand outside. What if it's YouTube? He likes to stand outside. What if it's YouTube? He likes taking selfies. A photo of you with a basketball. What's so funny about that is the photo where he says,

I like taking selfies. You were doing it, right? I was taking a selfie on a toilet for like a bit in a video. Ah, okay. Yeah, like a bit in a video. Ah, okay. Yeah, I'm like in a bathroom. But this is like, even to use a photo like that. Yeah. This is edited. This is intentionally edited.

Yeah, yeah, true. They didn't just feed photos into this. This is, yeah. Hobbies. I've got a guardian angel out there somewhere, I guess. Selfies. Like playing basketball. Okay.

Like boxing Like listening to music Like singing songs Like dancing He is animals lover Animal lover? Let's start the social media I don't want this.

That's my face I'm making right now. He is quite famous on TikTok. On TikTok? I don't post TikTok. The screenshot there is 58K. TikTok is like... He's on TikTok. He has 58K.

He is very famous on YouTube. 2.7 million subscribers on YouTube. 0.7, so the numbers are off. Matter of time. Net worth, according to Google, $2 million approach. Zero. Thank you for watching my video. I hope you enjoyed my video.

I did enjoy it. Don't forget to subscribe my channel. That's great. That was much different than I was expecting. What if the net worth came out and it was like, broke boy. Broke boy. Oh, it also hashtags Curtis Conner in there. Oh, hell yeah.

Oh, do you think they meant to talk about him? One comment. It's 3 a.m. and the title of the video has me dead. Okay. The list of things. Someone watch that high. It's just like the script of the video wait a youtube star curtis connor gave jarvis a shout out on his twitter account while promoting his podcast in january 2021 how nice of curtis that is funny because i texted curtis about this

this week because the podcast we did uh Curtis's podcast we were ranking how hot Pokemon were and it came up in a different conversation in our like Pokemon Go group text uh because I like sent the screen the screen cap because it was a joke like related something and then I realized it had been three years since we did that and I texted Curtis like oh my god how has it been three years since we did this uh didn't mention the breast you know because covid it was like a time yeah yeah didn't mention the breast milk thing at all thank you barely mentioned you yeah i feel like that's kind of messed up didn't mention sad boys a lick no i think it is healthy not to mention us as they were too much no that's okay i would rather not be associated with you

oh interesting you know what i mean i do feel like when uh danny and drew did the we are two different people tour they shot themselves in the foot one because that joke uh was funny when they made it initially and it has never been funny since because they did the thing because it was the joke had already existed and then they did the thing where it's like, okay, we acknowledge the joke. We're making a funnier thing. And then we leave it there.

And it was. It was funny. But then people aren't funny in general. That's okay. Yeah, that's okay. If you still do that, it's like you mean well. You're just trying to be in with them.

You like their stuff. Maybe just... Just don't like their stuff. Maybe just – Just don't mix them up. Maybe just treat them as the individuals. Individuals. That's the only thing. And that's coming from me. Yeah, not them.

This is not behind the scenes talk. This is not behind the scenes. This is coming from me. It's just like, you know. Also, I mean, to be honest, I'll get personally annoyed where it's like one of them will watch like a really great video they made. And like the top comment like credits the video to the other person. And it's just like, not the top comment, but it's just like, maybe. Maybe we should do that like with you two guys.

But when that came out, the first thing I thought of was like, oh, that was a bit that I wanted to do with Jordan because people mixed us up in our real lives. Cause we work together and it didn't make sense to people mix us up. It's maybe racism. Yeah. But then also we have the same birthday. I'm like, I've never mixed you too. Yeah.

Well, I would say maybe if somebody said it in like text because of the J names, possibly. Yeah. I think it would be like, people would like be like, Hey Jarvis, can you come to the meeting?

And these are, you know, people that work with us and very often not a lot of team crossover. Yeah, we worked on completely different teams. I worked in engineering, he worked in partnerships. Like my managers. It was insane.

It was insane. And you were racist. I didn't work there. Oh, sorry, but I'm thinking of that stuff you said off mic. No! That explains it But I'm thinking of that other stuff you said off mic. You could be the other white guy. No. That explains it. Dude, I'm so sorry, Justin Trudeau.

Let's do Eddie. Shit. Might be. Jordan. Hello. You tried Prime for the first time. Yes. Prime the Logan Paul drink?

Oh, yeah. I was grabbing a Prime for a friend of mine. They're a fan. Of Prime or you? Of Prime. They really don't like my shit. Grabbing Prime for a friend of mine kind of goes, dude. That's kind of the bar. And it tastes like slime. I, without exaggeration, you know, I was skeptical.

Maybe not a drink for me. I always thought it was kind of a scam, maybe. Which one did you get? Because there's two Primes, and that confuses consumers. I always thought it was kind of a scam, maybe. Which one did you get? Because there's two primes, and that confuses consumers. I never buy it, really. I got it just because I was curious. Don't they have multiple? Oh, two primes is in. There's the can.

Yeah, there's an energy drink, and there's a Gatorade competitor. So sports drink and energy drink, same company? Same company, same logo. The real only way you could tell is one is in a can. And one is in a bottle. I had the Gatorade replacement. It felt really good because i got it from 7-eleven where i would buy a gatorade which i would like but instead i got the ice pop flavor oh yeah the one with the red white and blue you know and i'm sure that this is i hope like a fair and balanced review and that i said it's the worst soda or drink or anything i've ever had in my entire life. One and a half sips.

It's a very strange drink. Appallingly bad. Come on. Appallingly bad. Greg appallingly bad. It is at that level. Impulsively bad. My drink kept kissing me.

It was very frustrating because I felt like, well, okay, well, I'm going to mention it. But it's just going to sound like I'm being an anti-Paul Sinit or something. I need people to understand. I'm not a big soda drinker, really. Usually sugar-free because I'm a sugar-free bastard. Yeah, it's a weird, it's like weird what they do. But it is like, even for kids, I'm amazed that they like it. It's like hyper sweet.

It's so sweet. But it's not, it's like a not sugar sweet because it's like using some sugar substitute. And it also has like, you know, a, by all accounts, not very rehydrating set of salts. It doesn't very uh rehydrating set of salts it doesn't have a rehydrating set of electrolytes but it does have the salty aftertaste it's like mainly potassium and and uh and not sodium which is like what you would want from like a electrolyte drink the idea of finishing a workout and then drinking this it tastes like drinking concentrate syrup without anything else well so i would say that their big thing is that it doesn't

have as much of a salty aftertaste as your average energy drink but the reason that your average energy drink has the salty aftertaste is because sodium is the most like yeah electrolyte rehydrating thing well that's even uh because i was you know i'm not anymore, but at the end of last year I was training for a half marathon, and then right the day before it got, there was a lightning warning, so it was a half marathon. I did train further than this for a half marathon, but I only ran seven and a half miles for it. Was that a relief?

That would be a relief for me. But I guess if you trained for it. So I was really conflicted in my head, because I think there are two types of people, somebody who would be relieved, and then somebody who's like, oh, my God, I trained for this. And now and I think I'm both people where I was like it was the night before when it got when it got not canceled, but I guess like have. And it was like, oh, that's a bummer. But now I don't have to do the full thing tomorrow. And yeah, what I was going to to say is once I was doing that,

it was like, oh, I'm not going to drink an energy drink to get my electrolytes back. I'm just going to eat something salty or have like an electrolyte tab that I put into one of the – it's just like Prime or even Gatorade. I'm like there's better solutions I feel like. I like a Gatorade Zero. Yeah, I fuck with a Gatorade.

Lime and cucumber or whatever. Oh, that was refreshing. Or the Pedialyte. It's like Gatorade light or Yeah, I fuck with a Gatorade. Lime and cucumber or whatever it's called. Oh, that was refreshing. Or the Pedialyte. It's like Gatorade light or whatever where it's like its main goal is the hydrating. Because like when I was a kid, I used to drink Gatorade a lot and then I found it has more sugar in it than

soda. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so it's like, okay, maybe that's not what I need, but the like more niche products are still fine. Or I'll just do liquid IV now. i do have this weird part of my brain that like with with almost anything now i have to just anything because like an indulgence i have to justify it in some part of my brain as even one percent productive so if i get a non-water drink i have to think like well you know cranberry juice is like it's good

antioxidants that's pretty reasonable i can't just have like a pepsi you know i have to have a diet pepsi there's no sugar but the caffeine could be useful you know yeah no i i feel that i won't i won't even dive into it jarvis and i this last week we're talking about uh eating stuff with that that type of mentality but that's a whole different can of worms to open but uh yeah similar in my brain of having to like earn it's not great but well that's that's a private conversation and that's in the jordan review do you want to give it a star rating yeah no i don't have it would be not having any okay so no stars no stars. Yeah, I suppose if the, okay, out of 10 though, I would say it wouldn't be having any of the points though. What about a hundred stars?

Ooh, in that case, it's not, there aren't any in it. Okay. Like electrolytes, there are no stars. No, I genuinely, I always want to encourage, I don't want to encourage people to buy any product really that I don't actually like. But God damn, dude. Again, it's frustrating because I don't just want to be like a, hey, this movie, zero out of ten, trash.

Just so bad. So confusingly bad. It's marketing success and making colorful models for kids to. It makes sense why it's popular with kids because it's like over sweet it's like they're doing this thing where they're trying it tastes like a lollipop that's been melted or an ice pop that's been melted down where when you drink or excuse me when you like lick an ice cream cone or uh eat ice cream or a lollipop when something is cold we uh taste the sweetness less and so for anyone who's ever had their ice cream melt and

then suddenly it feels like much sweeter yeah that's why prime tastes like it's melted ice pop it tasted like hyper sweet it was very accurate to its promise being ice pop flavored dub i guess all right but i logan w yet another logan w haven't been watching him for very long but i assume all of his content is kind of just all dubs kind of a yeah just depending on when he's that guy he convinced me to buy a cum coin or whatever. That's his latest product. Logan is fascinating to me. He rides these waves. He's obviously just purely in it for himself

and rides these waves of like getting really dumb people to like him and then them turning on him for even a dumb reason that isn't like he scammed everyone, but it's like Logan didn't stick up for his boy. This is why you're mad at him. He doesn't. Yeah. It's weird.

He does not like it. There's a lot of loyalty. That's one weird thing about the Paul brothers is that they, people turn quick there. Yeah. Well, they're, they're like,

uh, they're like, they're like cockroaches. They like, you cannot kill them. They would survive a nuclear. You cannot kill them. They would survive a nuclear apocalypse. Yes, well, if a nuclear apocalypse happened, then it was like, say, Mad Max.

When you got to the Thunderdome, Logan Paul would be in that ring. He would work his way. Yes, somehow. I wouldn't doubt him. I wouldn't doubt him at all in that regard. It is very frustrating. There's a few people like this, especially like professional athletes. But if somebody shows like athletic prowess,

they get like 10% back from me. It's annoying that he's so good at professional wrestling. That's the thing. It's the WWE thing is I'm not even like into WWE. I hear when people are like they shit on it. It's fucking the thing that people like in this industry but I don't watch Days of Our Lives but it seems like a good time

but I've seen those like clips Andy plays a good heel so it's like he knows when to do something and work really hard at it to where people that don't like him go like gotta give him a little credit for that and that's all you need to make a lot of money yeah it's true

if Taylor Swift came out and threw a tight spiral everyone would turn around you know what hey thumbs up speaking of have you seen the meme of um have you seen the meme of the the woman at the basketball game eating the popcorn and smiling yeah so uh uh So let me pull up her name because she's – it's escaping me. It's something – while you're looking it up, can I say something? It's something that made me – Kelsey Plum, yeah. It made me cringe a little. And then when you see the internet doing it, you're like,

okay, let's go easy, everybody. She's being a little quirky. Let's privately maybe go like, hey, this is a little cringe. So that's Kelsey Plum. She's a W little quirky. Let's privately maybe go like, hey, this is a little cringe. That's funny. So that's Kelsey Plum. She's a WNBA player. She is an incredibly talented athlete. And the last time she went viral, it was of her throwing a T-shirt that was packed up into the crowd and threw a tight spiral T-shirt

into the back of the stands. And then that went viral because everybody was like, this is fucking sick. Kelsey Plum just launched it. And so literally, I think if these things happened in reverse, then everyone would have just forgotten. Oh yeah, I think this is it. Can they follow it?

That's actually it. Holy shit! Holy shit! Is it going to go through this wall? Oh my God. Did somebody catch it? Yo.

That's so cool. That was awesome. The guy broke his hand. She can be a little cringe eating some popcorn. If you can throw a fucking spiral like that. So shout out Kelsey Plum.

Shout out WNBA. Shout out Women's College Basketball. Incredible, incredible final. that's what I'm saying so shout out Kelsey Plum shout out WNBA shout out women's college basketball uh incredible incredible final I watched a lot of the tournament um shout out Dawn Staley shout out uh uh University of South Carolina shout out Iowa shout out every every every shout out every shout out uh Caitlin Clark. Hannah Stolke. You're crushing the 100 women challenge just on.

Let me see. Fuck. I wouldn't crush the 100 women challenge. I would listen to it. Wow. Oh, nice. Because you can't think of any? Yeah.

That's ripped straight from the. I'm listening to someone tell me. No, I. The. Yeah. No, I, I, uh, the, yeah, the whole storylines with, uh, like the women's, um, March Madness was, was crazy. I also watched, I also watched the men's. Okay. So equal opportunity here.

All right. Eddie is leaving. Hey, come on, man. Shout out UConn on the back to back, uh, first back to back national-back national championship win since my Florida Gators did it in 06-07. So pretty huge. Is that the last one they got? Huh? I think so, yeah.

Eat shit, pal. That's not going to be an L for the camera. Yeah, J for Jarvis. Unmarried, by the way. Unmoored, undrafted. Lomarried, by the way. Unmoored, undrafted. Loves to take selfies. Yeah.

That's one of my hobbies. Yeah, I loved it. Been watching a lot of basketball. Going to the Clippers-Suns game tonight. Nice. Pretty stoked about that. We're maybe going to hang out and then Jarvis has plans. Yeah, one of my friends.

I was late to messaging you. One of my friends just moved into a new uh new place and has a new roommate and that new roommate is a dancer for the Clippers uh and so they like got tickets to the game last minute and I was like I want to go because the NBA regular season's uh wrapping up in this week or next week anyway it's about to be playoff time I'm actually oh I actually... Oh, I got to play tonight. I completely forgot that was happening.

Oh, yeah. You got to play. I got to go warm up or something. Oh, you got to play? Okay. I'll be honest. I was actually going to wait until after the podcast to ask what you were doing tonight, and I thought you were going to a play, and I was like, damn, don't ask. I'm going to the operas tonight. I was like, what were you going to say? One thing I was like, damn, don't ask. I'm going to the All-Pros tonight.

So I was like, what were you going to say, Jared? One thing I was going to say, this is a little tiny, tiny little politics moment. Before the national championship game, the coach of South Carolina, who's this extremely decorated player in her own right in college and then WNBA and now coaching one of the like sort of best coaches in like 16 years she's like kind of turned this turned her school into like a dynasty but anyway Dawn Staley she gets asked I'm still learning I'm still you know it's like if I'm

new at NBA I'm very very new at women's WNBA and at women's college ball, but I've been enjoying watching it. So I'm just slurping up all the context. This is the study period. Don't slurp up the WNBA. You can enjoy it from afar. According to DJ Khaled, that is not okay. Bring out the lobster.

Lobster. Bring out the lobster. So, but, okay. So at a post-game interview, like after they win their Final Four matchup and they're going to go into the final, a journalist from one of those like alt-right adjacent things, Alt-right tabloid mags. Outkick, I think it's called. But anyway, he asks her about transgender athletes.

And then it's like, first of all, there are no transgender athletes in basketball. And there's like, of the NCAA entirety, there's like a handful. And so it's like a .0006% representation. And then not even in the sport that we're talking about. So like this is a completely irrelevant question. There's just some trans people somewhere.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Exactly. And then of course they make it seem like it's like this huge issue. And they're like, do you think trans women should play the sport? And then she like takes a sip of water, calmly responds, and is like, I know what you're trying to do. This is going to flood my timeline.

Ice. You know, whatever. And you know what? It doesn't matter. Yes, if you consider yourself a woman, you should play our game. And then she's like, I know I'm going to get some flack for this. I know people are going to give me shit. But she was just sort of firm, well-spoken.

And then they fucking won the national championship. It was such a fucking mic drop moment. That's awesome. That's pretty solid. Because asking that before they go into it, she's like, this is a distraction. Right. It's like, because this is not a real issue. And I'm trying to keep my real issue and i'm trying to keep

my team focused i'm trying to keep everybody focused we've got a game to win that's the foundation of that journalism is what if there's a dragon or something no but literally dude imagine something bad something that scares me i mean i think his other question was about like the national anthem or something and it's like like what are you doing it's just one of those things with them where it's like okay well uh have have trans people in sports ruined the fabric of society or sport in america and still waiting because everything yeah right wing people like that will be like no but what if it did though imagine what if it did i had a dream about it and it was bad and then uh uh what's his fucking name he used to play for university of florida which made me mad um chandler parsons chandler parsons He used to play for university of Florida, which made me mad.

Um, Chandler Parsons, Chandler Parsons, who used to play for Florida. He's like a talking head now. And he was like, so if Zach Eady, he was like a seven, four player from Purdue,

uh, wanted to be a woman that he could play. All of the hypotheticals are always. So if somebody who is not trans decided like yeah but then also there's like there's like there's there's all these rules that that trans athletes have to jump through to compete anyway they have to like be on certain um medications and and stuff and like certain hormones for like a year and they have to like sit for a certain amount of time basically no one is doing that for fun because it's it is not fun what to compete like the exceptional amount of time money and

emotional distress that would come from i guess in the these cases are always saying i don't i guess they're saying that these people are making it up or they're lying for this benefit as opposed to just i guess investing in their training in the in the sport that they're in it reminds me of that swimmer that a trans swimmer who competed and didn't perform that well but then like there was another woman who complained about the trans woman competing. And then they like looked at the standings and the girl complaining also lost to like a nine-year-old. Oh, I remember her. Yeah.

And it was like, why don't you focus on like your actual like – it's like not affecting you. It's like so not affecting you it is i mean it's a tricky uh issue when the thing that they are wrong about is so simple it's so simple but because they're so distressed by it you have to entertain it it's like a kid that trips and scrapes their knee and cries in that case you're a little bit more charitable to the kid than you would be to an adult that did the same but you still can't really validate it it's impossible to have any type of if they want to have whatever a quote like real discussion would be about it because they're starting from a place from being so deeply transphobic there's no there's no back and forth that you could even say you ever talk to somebody like that and you're like oh we're on like a different planet on how we view

sex and gender like yeah we're not like i actually don't know i don't know where to start the one thing i i normally catch like more like kind of if it was like somebody from my hometown is i always just say just uh uh and this is not my own thing own thing, but I say just give me one trait that doesn't have to do with, like, human anatomy, because I know that's what they'll do. Give me one trait that every man has. Yeah. It's like, you can't say football. Like, whiskey.

Like, tell me something. It's like being manly. But then those freaks have started to transvestigate every person. Right, yeah, yeah. I mean, we're not breaking new ground here. No, no, no. But it came up because I think Dawn Staley's cool, and I think women's basketball is cool,

and I'm excited to watch more of it. So does the, like, people actually love it and watch it it's just extremely unfunny people doing a meme of it's so boring haven't seen it though oh yeah uh oh i guess one thing that's relevant is the um the women's ncaa championship game a basketball game uh had like 19 million like people watch it. And it was like the most viewed basketball game of any, of any league in the past five years, which is pretty crazy.

And then it also beat out the men's by like 5 million people. It's so, which is crazy, but it's so boring, but it's like, yeah, it's just women's ball is having like a, a huge moment right now.

And it's really awesome. And I'm excited to like keep that momentum going. A lot of the players who are uh big stars like in college are going to the wmba this year and so there was like a story about how like caitlyn clark who's like the big one who everyone talks about and i tried to like downplay talking about over talking about her because like the media has like over talked about her but she's incredible and and like she's like the steph curry of uh i just she just like shoots the ball from half court and it just goes in every time and it's like what the fuck that is i i would

do that if i could get any skill to do basketball it would be throwing it very far into the hoop you were doing like uh if i was there i would have done that yeah i was oh i forgot to do it but like caitlin clark is uh the team that she's going to be drafted to because she's going to get the number one pick because she's like uh one of the best college players like in modern history and some are saying like of all time but i i don't i don't know the game enough to say that but uh but they they're having to like move to a larger stadium for their like inaugural game we're gonna get that hoop further away from her it's too easy they're like they're like we're adding in like another 8 000 seats so that like more people can

come to the game and i'm like that's sick it would be cool if they made it a longer court yeah like a like a soccer field i mean there was another thing god i'm so sorry i'm doing this but uh there was a um sabrina ionoscu uh ionescu uh let me double check also is it cool by p really quick yes okay i will do the same that's crazy let's do it together same timing okay so while they're gone, I'll explain this. I just thought it was fun during the NBA All-Star weekend where Steph Curry and Sabrina Ionescu did their face-off of three-point contest. It was super awesome, and sabrina is an incredible shooter and she scored

better than all of the men who were competing in the three-point contest uh it's steph did edge it out but um i i thought that was super rad um and so i'm excited to get more into women's ball because i've just been getting into men's ball over the past couple months so i'm like i'm stoked i think i'm gonna go to the bathroom now too okay we're back from our uh simultaneous bathroom break all of us went to go pee together same time we didn't cross the streams like i say how nice it was for somebody else to prompt going to the toilet. Oh, yeah. I'm a pee bastard.

Looked like the Bellagio fountain in there. Yeah, with the little cherubs or whatever. I mean, like, is that what that is? The little pissing? Yeah. It's a bunch of jets and streams. It's like World of Color. We lit it up.

We lit that thing up. All different colors. Each stream a different color. Yeah, we projected part of Dumbo on you. I was so hydrated. Pirates of the Caribbean ship comes in. I'm concerned that yours was red. I think that does have me in the woods.

That was kind of messed up. Oh, there's no LEDs in there? Yeah, that was... Why could I see Dumbo in my business? Can you go to the doctor for that? Yeah. Hey, doc. I go to the doctor to just tell them about what happened to you.

Dude, my friend pissed Dumbo. So the doctor's like, oh my God, this elephant has huge ears. Is that a bad sign? Yeah, he can fly and stuff. It's like from a movie. Who are these crows? Okay, well, it's pretty funny. It's like Eddie's video.

So Jacob prepared something today. Well, actually, we were having our pre-production meeting, and Jacob said, have you guys heard of, and then what it was? And we didn't know what he was saying. How is it? Do we know how it's pronounced? Yeah, Jacob, do you know how to say it? Yeah, so I'm hoping that there are some listeners out here with me that know what I was saying. How is it? Do we know how it's pronounced? Yeah, Jacob, do you know how to say it? Yeah, so I'm hoping that there are some listeners

out here with me that know what I'm talking about. It's Donghua Jinlong food grade glycine. Of course. It's one of those sentences that uses all the letters of the alphabet. Right. Wait a minute. I think I actually do know this.

Is this? Wait, I don't want to spoil it, but... No, but I don't want... Okay. I don't want to say it but oh no but i don't okay i don't want to say it ahead of time before you guys well you can maybe write it down in your notes app i i'll just say what i thought it was okay and i won't lie okay yeah okay a lot of the i will i won't lie a lot of the liars i know say that quite a bit i thought the lottery numbers were exactly what they were. Oh my God. Wait, did that say?

We'll look at that at night. Yeah. So I saw not the sources or the main ones of these. I saw this with like jokes of this with like, I think two or three likes on Tik TOK. And I was like, what the fuck is this trend? Isn't that funny when you like find a reference to something,

but you like, didn't find the main thing. So you're like, what is going on? I need a reverse bibliography. What are you talking about? Or when you search something important that happened and it's just like

what was the latest news in this major event? People are like, me when I see the news. And it's just them like, I don't know, like a spoof about the Sims but it's taking place in there. What happened to the guy? This company called Dong Hua Jun Long them like i don't know like a spoof about the sims but it's taking place in there no well what

happened to the guy this company called dong wajin long is a glycine manufacturer that ended up doing some promo on tiktok okay and because it's tiktok their videos went viral and people just think it's hilarious that must be so confusing for these companies. So here's one of the videos that they posted that did super well for whatever reason. Introducing Donghua Gene Loans Food Grade Glycine. Unlock Donghua Gene Loans Food Grade Glycine in 2024. Suitable as a flavor enhancer, sweetener, and nutrition supplement. Does this guy also make the Jarvis Johnson video? Sweet sauces, soy sauce, vinegar, and juices to improve taste.

We've been deeply involved in this field for over 40 years. A well-established brand and a large factory committed to providing you with high quality, high standard, and cost-effective products. It's like going to a brewery where you don't know how beer is made. Yeah. Okay, there's just a lot of vessels. I don't know what's happening so i was getting barely any likes ai like versions of celebrities advertising this oh so i got one of like joe biden doing the script yeah and so yeah it's a fairly normal video at its core. Yeah.

It is a company that wanted to get the message out that they are a manufacturer of glycine. And so if you need glycine, these are your people. If you're a major manufacturer of factory farm foods. Yeah, because the average TikTok audience is not their market. Right. I feel like every company now is like, we got to the average TikTok audience is not their market. Right. I feel like every company now is like, we got to be online. We got to have some.

Jacob, what were you going to say when you said TikTok? I was just going to say TikTok is really not the place to do that. Yeah. Your audience is not there. Yeah. Which is why it's funny. It's because. Yeah, you work in food, right?

Maybe you can buy some of this high-grade glycine. This pickle tastes like shit. Who could help me with this and i've been trying to make some soy sauce because yeah tiktok is a very random you don't choose really what you see right right it'll serve it to random people and it's funny because this is obviously like not somebody who would be buying hundreds of pounds of glycine and so people like took it and ran with it. And so now there's like this woman who's made a few videos, um, where it's like kind of like conspiracy coded. Oh,

of course. We just got a big update. Oh, wait a second. We don't have a big update on Don Juan. Second account. So they posted this to their stories last night, and it's gone now, but we got an exclusive look into their packaging department

for their industrial-based glycine. Stop here. Fucking glycine factory. See that? They're using the G-E-K-2-6-E. Whoa. I couldn't even pretend to know what I'm looking at with this machine. I don't know what it does.

Are they seriously using that? That's the glycine circle. This is awesome. Can I? Okay. I could be wrong. I'm not trying to say this about her, but the state of the internet. If we, she explains what this machine does and then we Google this machine and it's exactly

what Wikipedia says. I want to check to see if this is actually, what is she? Well, my thing is I feel like it's tongue in cheek, right? Yeah. Like this is like when, um, this is like when everybody works together to create a lore. Yeah. And I love that. Yeah.

This is AO3 fanfic. Yeah. Wait, let's go. ...molding machine made by the Xi Jiang Golden Eagle Plastic Machinery Company. Yeah, of course. Now, Golden Eagle is an interesting choice. I take it back. She's being funny.

...to use the popular Haida 330T. But this is what really sets them apart. So we've all seen Daisy try to sell us that Haida 330T. This is a great video. This is awesome.

We've all seen Daisy. And we all know that it's quality. So Donghua Jinlong choosing to use a different vendor for their injection molding machines is an interesting development,

but I think in the long run, it's probably why they're the best. We'll play the video. We'll let them walk around. This is like... The floor is painted a nice high-level satire. That's what comments are so funny. Yeah, I love how she's playing this.

I feel bad that even for the first three seconds I thought this was a serious video. It's incredible satire. I love this. That's how poisoned this kind of discourse is. Because it's the exact kind of topic that would engender some conspiracy theories. Right before I came here,

I was seeing people have conspiracies about the eclipse. So my brain was thinking about... We talked about that last week. We talked about how people were concerned. The demon face stuff that was going to like... Oh, yeah. Well, the world is gonna end and like cern is involved the large hadron collider do you think it's a good idea collider is not in the path of the eclipse or the fact that it's not done anywhere else and eclipses happen very frequently just not in

you know the protagonist country yes uh i think that one thing is also refreshing is i thought this was going to go to a racist place, but this is just like feigning genuine interest on this manufacturing process. And what sets them apart from other glycine factories would be so funny.

We all know how I do it. Yeah. And also just going to, now they're using a XG5. Wait, I want to keep watching. And then I want to look at the comments because I feel like they're going to be really funny. Shout out to keep watching and then i want to look at the comments because i feel like they're going to be really shout out to cities by dina dina maybe yeah probably why

they're the best we'll play the video we'll let them walk around you can see here the floor is painted a nice calming green color and the camera person is in what appears to be a hallway above the production floor so the fact that they posted this to their alternate account and not on main and then they made the conscious decision to share this as a story and not a regular video it tells us that they really wanted only the real fans to see this like like the three people right here the glass yes the glass i love that massive dongwa jin long update, let's look at the comments real quick. See if it's by Dan, okay. They're not afraid to innovate. Classic Donghua Jinlong.

This is a total game changer. Thanks for keeping us updated. Yeah, and then she has another one. Glycine girlies. Yeah. You girls act like the only place that you can get your industrial grade glycine is from Donghua Jinglong. Newsflash, there's so many other better places that you can get your industrial grade

glycine if you know where to look. Look, Bestie, we can see what you're doing. You're coming on here and you're slandering Donghua Jinglong for clout. You don't even need alternatives. Sure, there are competitors. There's other brands that you can get your glycine from. Are you really going to go with Jinamoto Group? I know their high performance semiconductors are good. There's other brands that you can get your glycine from. Like, are you really going to go with Ginomoto Group? I know their high-performance semiconductors are good.

This is perfect. Don't even get me started on Geo Specialty Chemicals. First of all, they manufacture their shit in Texas. Like, sure, American-made, like, that sounds great, but what are you going to do when the wintertime and the power grid fails? Where are you going to get your glycine now, huh? What about New Trend Group? Yeah, they're up and coming like their name says they're kind of an upstart in the market but they do monk fruit sweeteners glycine is like

their second or third choice do you really want to buy your glycine from somebody that's not fully committed no this person gets their glycine from chatham chemicals you do not want to go to chatham chemicals very scam they do that purest glycine woo-woo shit. No, their glycine sucks. I don't like this. This is mean. The only choice is Dong Hua Jin Long because they

have a whopping 31 patents. They meet all of the ISO certifications including 22,000 and 9,000. This is me in high school after reading

a Wikipedia page. This is so perfect because both the people involved with this video are doing such a great parody of internet discourse and playing it so straight.

Yeah, exactly. It's so, the bit is becoming more and more elaborate to the point where it is genuinely funny as opposed to just beat going fast mode. Yeah. Like you, if you exchange these types of replies out for like this discourse has

happened a million times over TikTok. Exactly. Somebody making a claim just like that. And it's just like that. This is, this is great. She's doing, she's really funny. types of replies out for like this discourse has happened a million times over tiktok exactly somebody making a claim just like that and it's just like that this is this is great she's doing she's really funny let's clear up some myths about don juan yeah they're competitors um that one real ones know it's don juan long or nothing senator i'm singaporean can you imagine what the Don Juan Long offices are like right now? There's a comment that says somewhere there's an incredibly

niche marketing manager freaking out right now. I know the cost of glycine is so important. Wait, this is like so such a good defense. I want to provide an annual glycine credit that will give Americans $400 a month for the next two years as glycine rates come down. Glycine credit that will give Americans $400 a month for the next two years as glycine rates come down. Glycine credit to every American.

Joe Biden has two things going for why his AI productions are always so effective. One is obviously there's a ton of dialogue from him. Yeah. But also he's such a static speaker. Yeah. He doesn't, often you can tell it's AI because the neck doesn't align with the head. Right, like his mouth was moving weird. He's like, yeah.

That's what's going on the a.i stuff does him favors because it sounds more coherent than fucking brewery clip from like two months ago right where he's speaking at the michigan brewery oh yeah a guy singing to him do you see that oh wait guy singing oh yeah guys are up to singing sing to him and it i guess he's saying something along the lines of all right it really clearly sounds like he's saying the f-slayer yeah it sounds like he's saying the f-slayer it sounds like biden saying yeah but it's it's not it wouldn't make sense in the context because it's literally just someone singing like uh what were they singing it was from from like a musical or something. What's up with that trend?

Just going up to someone and singing. I thought you meant saying the F word. What's up with that? You like it or you don't? Because you do it a lot. I don't. I think there's one particular creator that kind of started doing that. I guess like most trends.

I've seen one guy go up to people and do it and like like go up to mike tyson he's like hey i remember you i remember you doing it i remember you did that before yeah um all right one one more okay one more yeah jacob you choose dealer's choice say the weird thing people are desperately seeking realness. I feel like nobody's talking about the systemic plot in America that disproportionately affects the black population here in the United States. It's one of those things that if you're close to the communities that are affected, you would really understand. But if you're not, it's something that kind of just goes behind the scenes and you don't really um you don't really hear about it much so studies show that 90 of the lowest grade quality of glycine that's awesome black communities united states of america and one of the reasons why i

truly believe that the government is trying to block t is to make sure that the black community never figures out about Don Juan T. Long's industrial grade glycine. This is literally just how discourse is. We have to change communities forever. We just have that information. I think it helps that the bit is not just, and not to, you know, dissect comedy too much or whatever. I've been listening to too many of those annoying comedian podcasts i guess like those are too tiring there is a lot to the fact that they aren't doing the same presentation it's not all the conspiracy it's all different types of discourse you see on tiktok it's like guy in car with aviators yeah i was gonna say it reminds you of that um the uh the tiktok meme with the guy

who delivers the news who had is is it's my uh it's my birthday today and i brought my girlfriend have you seen that one i'm not sure oh oh oh this is important this is like and then everyone like comes together yeah yeah wait let me see i blew my head is this the one that has everything let's see let's see star wars day everyone today is also my birthday and because it's my birthday i get to introduce you to my girlfriend who is amazing happy star wars day everyone today is also my birthday and be star wars day everyone today is also my birthday or wars day everyone today is also my birthday because it's my birthday's day everyone today is also my birthday. It's Aurora's day, everyone. Today is also my birthday. And because it's my birthday's day, everyone, today is also my birthday. And because it's my birthday, everyone, today is also my birthday.

And because it's my birthday, I get to introduce you to my girlfriend. Marcus, you don't want to do this. Let her go. Breaking news. A man is currently holding his girlfriend hostage. Police are outside of his home waiting negotiation terms. Breaking news. A man is currently holding his girlfriend hostage police are outside of his home waiting negotiation terms breaking news a man is currently holding his girlfriend hostage a man is currently holding his girlfriend hostage

police are outside of his my fellow americans the current market situation developing i want to assure you i have my microphone i've known her for years it's like all of the Avengers but that's what it reminds me of because everyone's coming at it from like a different angle those bits are breath of fresh air for me because like when everyone's kind of parodying the discourse stuff it's like oh we're all acknowledging that this is everything we do all the time is insane

it's nice to it's refreshing for everyone to sit down and say this is nonsense this is entirely ridiculous what we're doing. This is entirely ridiculous that we're here holding this phone. Okay, speaking of ridiculous comedy, we've come to our main topic. The man himself.

We have to talk about it. The man, the myth, the legend, the funniest stand-up comedian ever to walk the earth. The most Italian name in comedy. The guy who's afraid to just say it. Let's just play it anybody here at pronouns oh what's your pronouns okay i respect your pronouns you gotta respect my pronouns do you want to know my pronouns are my pronouns are real that's my pronoun yeah that's a family member

he looks so afraid it is i think we talked about when i first saw the clip but the lamp like the uh the setup and lamp shading needed for that bit to work isn't set up it is like a fifth grader coming up to you and they heard a joke they want to say. And they're like, hey, do you have a car? What car is it? I don't. It's like, do you know what BMW stands for?

Yeah. And then the guy's taking the AirPods out. What was he doing right now? I'm sorry. Also, it's like he's not even... I'm not... I don't want him to be, but he's not even with the like,

we're playing make-believe. He doesn't even seem confident in being such a fucking idiot about pronouns. This guy, I was looking into stuff. He's been a comic of note for like eight years and the nervousness in what he's doing is so unf it's unfunny because like especially if you're doing i guess you can call it satirical if that's what he's going for if you're doing satirical comedy the joke is you are so confident saying ridiculous thing yeah it can't

be like i just can't get over the response needed. Do you want to hear my pronouns? Yeah. No, I don't. No, I don't. But if you did. Oh, okay. Well, because I was going to tell you.

Yeah. Are you sure you don't want to hear them? They're real good. No, I'm good, man. But thank you. No, thanks. I'm not a planner or anything. It's also the he, him.

Oh. All right. Yeah, that's the thing again it's like of course he planned someone to say they though i'm so the pronouns thing is something that that some old people are so obsessed with but even if you're one of these old people that feels like times are changing and you're not you can't even understand it it's the easiest like common courtesy thing you could do to another person yeah and then the joke is not funny it's just that's the we started calling puff daddy p diddy and look where that yeah that's that's a better argument against no but better joke to argue

um no but it's... This joke is so tired and I can't believe this. I think that a lot of it going viral is people going, wow, really still? Yeah. In 2024?

It's also just nothing. It was almost like one of the... So I did watch a few clips of this guy because I love to laugh. I love to chuckle. You watch Family Guy and stuff. I watched a lot of twisted, fucked up shit.

I watched The Joker twice and I had to do it enough the second time because it was too twisted right i watched the joker trailer for the new one volume off too twisted yeah yeah he said something about you know like the chaos but the first clip i saw is him on one of those stand up without a net type shows where you get a it's crowd work but it's just prompts and one of them is uh it's like stores or something like that and he has to do so much lift to like travel across the real estate all the way to you ever been there with a woman what's going on with these women guys the prompt would have led there about a walk in the special i

was able to watch five minutes off before it gave me the impact of reverse caffeine this morning ruined my morning lethargy it gave me lethargy just made me tired it was in the first three minutes with no like organic segues between them he comedian destroys feminism right talks about god kovid get him destroys kind of women a little more like spills specifically the pronouns is kind of touching on that i don't think feminism is specifically related to pronouns just women have them so i guess that that's there as well if you didn't want to get got by the comedy beam he does that thing that gervais has been doing for like five years now where he sets it up the foot and jimmy carter's as well where his earliest jokes are he does one semi-ironic joke i

guess because he doesn't and i don't know what he's doing and then he goes yeah that's a little thing called irony yeah you'd better get used to that for this show. And that doesn't do any of those jokes. Oh, we're going to have fun if you're laughing at that one. You're going to be scared. I don't know if you guys saw Big Joel's most recent video. Oh, conservative comedy, weren't you? Yeah, one of the things with Ricky Gervais is that he'll do that

and then go on podcasts and do a tour of like, don't call a joke offensive. Say it offended you. and it's like so you're you're nitpicking language okay semantics you got me don't say you don't like my comedy say that you thought you don't like my comedy special that my comedy wasn't my comedy isn't bad and my comedy wasn't for you. What's the fucking difference? Okay, well, one star still. What have you cooked up for us here, Jacob? So we've got all the cool things he's said ever.

Jacob actually already had these favored. Yeah, you can kind of just pick your poison. We've got conspiracies, ableism, transphobia. And our Joe Rogan, no less. Yeah, Joe Rogan. These are all links that Jacob pulled from a group chat with all your friends that nobody's responding to. Hey guys, might be, I switched

to Android, so maybe there's an issue with these coming through. Nazi UFOs, you catch that one? Yeah. And then a couple more. This one's cool because it has... Rocket League gameplay? Rocket League. It's one of those ones where it's just his visuals but the sound of Rocket League. Yeah.

I've got to say, sorry, the one caption that's in the thumbnail for that one, the Rocket League one, Victorian hooker outfit. That's great. Broken simulation. Saw a time travel. Is he a conspiracy theorist?

A little. Pick a lane. Yeah. In the same vein that he's riffing on pronouns, but clearly doesn't care or have a lot of interest or insight about it. When he starts doing conspiracy theory stuff, I think at one point you had a podcast about it. It's when he's doing the circuit on those, you know, any Tom Segura adjacent podcast called like real bastard shit. No hold bars radio.

That's what he's doing because it's long form. You can't do the pronouns thing for more than 30 seconds. It's funny to be like, there's Nazi UFOs, but then be like, your identity is what? Don't think so. Can we watch what he said? Yeah, I was going to do it. Are those two different Nazi UFO clips?

Yeah, this is like the intro one. Have you ever heard of New Schwabenland? New Schwabenland? You've never heard of New Schwabenland? No. Have you ever heard of Operation High Jump? His attitude is actually hilarious. He's back in his fifth grade at motor.

He's like, do you like Hot Wheels? Have you ever seen Cocoa Melon? Do you like those episodes? Have you ever seen Cocoa Melon? Do you like those episodes? Hi, Chump. So at one point, some people are like, what's going on with Antarctica? So they send this cat named Admiral Bird up to investigate with a giant fleet, like just a fleet to go bang, bro. And according to his journal that they found pause

he's a horrible storyteller that's his biggest problem what the hell my guess is well because i always don't want to credit somebody to being kind of like a grifter because i think one of the things is uh i think some people that get labeled grifters are also just like in those algorithms themselves and actually just truly believe that right someone like elon i think is actually just brain rotted himself and then bought the website that brain rotted himself um but uh but my guess is because he's not you know and he's done more stand-up than me but like if if you're not that successful not that great of a storyteller you probably get a bit resentful and then you probably think some crowds don't laugh at your jokes because of this this or that well you're bombing all comics bomb you know it's not resentful, and then you probably think some crowds don't laugh at your jokes because of this or that. Well, you're bombing.

All comics bomb. It's not the new material. I mean, you can even tell a fleet to go bang, bro. Like, what the fuck are you talking about? He also, what did he call the person? He didn't say this guy. Oh, this cat. This cat.

This cat. This groovy cat. This groovy cat. This smooth digger dog. Went out with a fleety pie. Named Admiral Alaska or whatever. He goes, yeah. Get into some shit.

Can we back up a little bit? Because, like, truly it's hard to follow his logic. Admiral Byrd up to investigate with a giant fleet. Like, just a fleet to go bang, bro. A fleet to go bang, bro. A fleet to go bang, bro. Okay. Okay. So, wait.

Okay, sorry. God, he's so bad at this. No, wait. I would say maybe let him give the whole pitch so we don't know. Because I'm still confused. No, no, no. But the thing, I don't understand like very important elements to this. Yeah.

So he goes, have you ever heard of, have you ever heard of like Fallujah land or whatever? Yeah. It was like new new I don't even know and then he said Operation Hydra jump they sent this cat over to Antarctica with a big fleet to go bang yeah we don't know why they're in a fleet

what government I'm assuming yeah okay you guys are idiots it's to go bang okay have you ever heard of new Schwab in land Brendan Schwabinland? Brendan Schwab's house, dude. It sounds like he's going to hit him with like, like Schwabin my balls on your face. You haven't heard of New Schwabinland?

What's New Schwabinland? New Schwabin my balls across your chest. Dude, that was too confident. New schlop. He has the grip above the end. Schwabinland. You never both hands. Schwab and land. You never heard of new Schwab and land? No.

Have you ever heard of Operation High Jump? It's just this for nine minutes. Have you ever heard of the Flim Flam fiasco? At one point, some people were like, what's going on with Antarctica? Some people, the president. Some people, Harry S. Truman. One of the coolest cats around. What's going on?

I've got to see the full context. Yeah, I'm so sorry. But okay, what is going on with Alaska is the inciting event here. Yeah. So some guy goes, what's going on with Alaska? Antarctica. New Shrovenland. New Shrovenland.

New Shrovenland. I'm just rubbing my balls over Alaska. They were like, what's going on with this? So they went to go bang. So they went to send a big fleet to go bang. A whole big fleet. Yeah. Send this cat named Admiral Bird up to investigate with a giant fleet.

Like just a fleet to go bang, bro. And according to his journal that they found much later, he basically met with ufos basically met with ufos they went bang if you can believe it what the fuck sorry can you keep i just have to know what he means by basically met with UFOs. Basically met with UFOs. Nazi UFOs. What? Yes. Nazi UFOs.

The Nazis. The Nazis had a deal. Like a flying saucer. Had made a deal, basically, working with. What? You've never heard this. No. It's the greatest story ever, bro.

I'll take your word for it, mate, because it was not told to me. This guy is just, he's dumb. He saw a conspiracy online. He's trying to recite it to Joe Rogan. He didn't think, maybe should I do some research into even the initial thing that I believed in. Even adding details that make it sound plausible.

So did they bang? A fleet to go bang, bro. A fleet to go bang, and then they found his journal later on. and it basically said that's that's a big space guy and then in the written words there was no there are no pictures there was no what do you mean basically how do we even know it's his journal he's got drawings like my favorite ship okay so this keeps going i i think this is related yeah how would you know also i would like i wish that the

tiktok included more context of whatever like like joe at least even responded with like even after if he had gone like that doesn't make any sense or if he had gone more into it it's like even i feel like this is too far even for joe says ian. This guy's saying it like he's kidding, but he also is saying it like he's a dumb guy. Yeah, he is truly incredulous that Joe Rogan hasn't heard of. Also, we don't know why it's called New Shobbin Lane. We don't know what the fuck he's talking about. I don't know. Maybe I just don't know a lot about a flat peak.

Why is the logo like down his hat? Oh, LA Upside Down? Because they're at war frickin dude come on if we have to explain it oh yeah sorry I'm writing down the dumbest comedian I've ever seen dog shit youtuber um yeah

the inward comedian is very dumb it's uh Nazi so what's this other conspiracy thing then yeah yeah let's watch it

yeah I know this sounds crazy so basically the aliens go down and Klaus Schwab's dad go down and meet with Eisenhower it's going to be like we can either do it one way or the other way, we can do it nice or we can do it

the wrong way, and that's where they say Eisenhower made a deal with these aliens that they could kidnap people and do experiments, but they couldn't just do it anywhere, they had specific places which were our national forest, and this is where the people and do experiments but they couldn't just do it anywhere they had they had specific places which were our national forest and this is where the missing 411 come from it's all really weird

because they all have like a lot of similar characteristics german-born highly intelligent they think like this might be some time traveling with the the who is german born at an american national park i did hear klaus schwab which now makes me think about schwabenland ah schwabenland okay yeah what what i just what always confuses me about these people is that like usually i'm not saying well i guess we could probably assume from this guy's comedy as well usually the people that get really into these insane nazi conspiracies are also alt-right and it's so weird to me that they think like they're they somehow think while also being

alt-right that this old like horrible party has now infiltrated like with through all these conspiracies the left and is like still pulling the strings it's like you you guys probably know a few nazis they're always so invested in uh clues in language or semantics or unnecessary details that when they look at national socialist party that's enough it's like a clue oh i didn't know the whole operation paperclip these guys always that. That is a real thing that happened. Yeah. Everyone would put like energy that they do into this into like, even bipartisan, like we,

like a Congressman who get to trade stocks and like trading. It's like, we all even agree on that. Maybe let's put all that conspiracy energy. Let's everybody. Yeah. That the meme of like the two hands shaking. Why is the topic not just corrupt people? Instead it is like, you know, ghetto style corrupt people.

Obama style Kendrick folk. And you'll be surprised to find out that it's actually a domino effect that we got Obama because of a Hitler alien. A time traveling Hitler alien. Because time-traveling Hitler alien. Because they know how to do the dog whistling. They know that they have to say Nazis are bad because those are the rules. The same way that Kanye even for Infowars, you're kind of not allowed to say that directly.

I was going to say that this guy gives Alex Jones how bad he is at it. I mean, he's like worse Alex Jones, but now I'm thinking, oh, would Alex Jones make that pronoun joke? Yeah, for sure. I also don't want to, I'm not, I don't want to give this guy any credit in any way, but we're also seeing these like hyper fast AI TikTok edits. And, and his, his tone is very odd to me. Like, it sounds like he's kidding kidding but i don't think he's kidding i think maybe it's like he's trying to be a little fun so he doesn't sound like he's crazy

but like also it's just such a short like cut up of that conversation i think rogan is somebody who loves platforming these conspiracies and for has a history of loving these conspiracies but also i think likes to push back on them a little bit and so when it's somebody who's a comedian but they're also way too into it and they can't pretend to be an expert on something he's gotta be like a little jokey yeah he's gotta be like oh bro you haven't heard about this and then says the most insane shit you've ever seen okay wait let's watch that other one then jac, that you mentioned. Yeah. Saw a Time Traveler. It's that fucking clip from the DC show where the DC gorilla visits Obama's dorm room. Barack Obama.

By the way, Broken Simulation is his podcast. I just remembered. Okay. So this guy's like deep into it. Oh, this is his official page. I think so. Yeah. He put the Rocket League.

That's kind of funny. it oh this is his official page i think so yeah he put the rocket league all of these have been off of this account that i believe to be either his official page or someone imitating okay okay well hold on we got to read the bio on that page spiritual gangsta oh dangerous man i actually think that's his twitter bio he's a dangerous man wait can we go to his twitter bio you could copy the twitter bio if you were right but i but i want to confirm that he he really runs with spiritual gangsta as a dangerous self-identify oh and then a shout out to his dogs spiritual gangster yeah very cool he's gonna hand the god two blocks down i saw elizabethan victorian hooker okay she's walking around in a elizabethan elizabethan uh victorian hooker outfit me

when i pass people walking into the renfrew i saw dracula men with fucking swords gun to the problem i have to mention it he's wearing an anti-vaccine vaccine oh that's cool i love i love people wearing parodies of that design i have not seen that A gun to the problem? I have to mention it. He's wearing an anti-vaccine vaccine club hoodie. Oh, that's cool. I love people wearing parodies of that design. I have not seen that enough everywhere.

Right, no, 100%. I want to see it more. What I love, I love to imagine going into my big, spacious walk-in closet and seeing a smorgasbord of shirts saying things like, my pronouns are attack helicopter or the Supreme logo, except it's a woman on OnlyFans. He sees a naked man on the street and he's like, I saw, swear to God, Adam from Adam and Eve. I swear to God he's walking around.

He didn't have his leaf covering his junk. I was, I went- But he wanted me to see it. I was near a convention center. You're not gonna believe this. All the Genshin Impact characters are real. Is he crazy? I think it takes place on new Shabban land.

She had the white hair, right? The big white hair and the long gown. And she had that wench pushed up. Did she look good? Did she look sexy? Yeah, dude. Like, who doesn't want to make a Victorian hooker? What if that's a time traveler?

Dude, or what if that's somebody's realizing that the game has changed and you've got to stand out? Oh, it's like that thing you were saying to me about OnlyFans women that are, like, working harder than ever now. Yeah, because of the economy, you've got to work a little harder, right? And she's like, why aren't we doing cosplay on the corners, bro? Why aren't they doing cosplay on the corners? Wait, so he's mentioning cosplay on the corners, bro? Why aren't they doing cosplay on the corners? So he's mentioning cosplay on the corners.

So did he post this as a... What's the caption of this TikTok? Oh, it's him destroys women, I believe. Sam Tripoli gets a working woman. So is he just joking about seeing a time traveler? Because then he starts talking about cosplaying. But it seems like something that he would seriously say. Right.

After the UFO. I cannot gauge whether or not this guy is kidding when he says this conspiracy shit or not. I think he's kidding here, but he's also wearing that anti-vaccine thing, so everything's fair game. It's also not a funny joke. It's just not.

I just picture this guy going on a field trip. Is it a joke? Is my question a joke? No, it's a thing. I can't tell. But like, I mean, that feels like in this context,

he might even present the Brendan Schwabenland or whatever it was called. He might present that as more of a bit on his show, but within the context of Rogan. Well, we also don't know the full context on the Rogan show. Cause it's like the Tik TOK bit. I'm not trying to give this guy credit. I'm just confused.

You're like, he's not, you're not letting him tell the full story. You shove it. We didn't know how Klaus got brought into the mix. And also, how did it switch from a picture of Harry S. Truman on the first one to Dwight Eisenhower on the second one?

And he also says what? They asked him, and he's talking about Eisenhower. I should give a shout out to... That was Harry S. Truman on the first pick. Eddie, you are more of a do-your-own of guy i'm more of a i think right now for a burback video we're actually just doing research so i'm more of like i need to get a primary source not for his conspiracy but just for him i can't i can't gauge this guy at all can we real quick just for my own fact checking go back to the very first conspiracy one where they say like they go to Antarctica, right?

Much going on with Antarctica. Some people are like, what's going on? I know my presidents. And then... That's my president. So Harry Truman was the president during the bombing, but like end of World War II. That's when they went boom or bomb or something.

And then Eisenhower... What did he say? A fleet to go bang. To go bang, went boom or bomb. And then Eisenhower. What did he say? A fleet to go bang. To go bang, bro. The bang bus. Okay, great. So Eisenhower was the president after Truman. So it could be connected, but I was still confused.

It's also, I think, I don't want to give a note to this guy, but like, if he were to start with maybe like missing people in national force, that's probably you're in not. Have you heard a new show? Yeah. I feel like you,

he's got to learn. You would think a standup would be better at establishing a story. So the audience come along with you. So now that we've seen some, I do want to see the rest. Can I ask one more question? Do you guys think, I think the,

the pronoun video is completely set up with like i think the audience is people he knows and then also the like woos and everything it just feels like a completely fabricated clip like everyone in the audience i feel like you'd hear at least a groan no matter what the audience just because the joke sucks all the self-published specials from these guys are because all you need is what 25 people to go to the cell on an open mic or whatever you to book 30 minutes yeah if you if you had they them pronouns and then he said since we're playing fucking make-believe right after saying the n-word he's like you wouldn't be like you can see his confidence skyrocket when he gets that pop because initially he's going like yeah

i'll strike your one so you're yeah you'll expect my ones and then they laugh and they go yeah because we're playing we believe boys if you look at everyone here everyone seems like they're people he knows or he asked the crowd like he was about to film a clip this just does not seem like a regular crowd that didn't know this joke was gonna happen in any sold out also it could have been from any other moment yeah i just wonder like it's it's one of those things where it's like this guy i don't know this joke was going to happen in any sold out. Also, it could have been from any other moment. Yeah. I just wonder like it's one of those things where it's like this guy, I don't know how like even legit he is in his

own beliefs or if he's just like kind of a grifter or like what I don't know what the hell you're doing. Let's just think about the pronoun one or the number of look, I know some people very good friends with some people who enjoy a good conspiracy theory as we we all do, but enjoy and maybe propagate conspiracy theories that I think are a little far-fetched. But typically, if it's aliens or the paranormal or something like that, it's usually motivated by interest.

It's fun. It's interesting. And some people find it very compelling and get bought in. Maybe a member of their family is also in. You know, whatever. However, there is a clean line in my brain between that and conspiracy theories just as a portal to doing the hate you already feel. Yeah. And the pronoun, it's so cynical and lazy that it almost doesn't feel real.

Even the, what was it it broken simulation brand type thing i don't you don't care about yeah that's the thing his heart his heart's not even in it when he said the n-word his heart wasn't even it's like when you do it oh it's so loud it's like you've committed to this path and so like when you it, the bar goes silent. Wait, I want to know more about where that clip goes. I don't know why I love accusing you of awful behavior so much. It's fine. So, I mean, you do that to me, and then I just always say that you being British is like this awful thing.

That balances out. At parties, I've cut it and be like, did he tell you about this? It's kind of messed up. They do cosplay on the corner. Not enough to be the best blowjob in town. Now you've got to have an angle. Right, 100%, Johnny. It's like, okay, good.

I've seen street hooker look a thousand times. We've all seen it on the corner. We've all seen it. Why not mix it up with a little Hello Kitty once in a while? I don't want God. I want cosplay. He's talking cosplay. I'm an advocate for mental health and life.

I don't think everyone should have Adderall. I think a proper diagnosis might be appropriate. Johnny, let me ask you something. Old-fashioned diseases. You're a man, okay? You're a man who's got a lady and you love your lady okay

and you would never be with a hooker okay okay Johnny but is there one look where you're like

oh shit okay I might have to do the circle oh there's a there's a couple of looks where I would like

Princess Leia Johnny would you I know we're on camera and you just have to do the circle oh there's a couple of looks where i would like princess leia johnny would you would you change because i know we're on camera and you just mentioned my partner but there's a couple of looks that would get me to cheat on her she knows you love your lady right you love her and you'd never cheat on her but is there one there's actually a couple there's actually a couple hold on dude saying shit like that genuinely is you know that's when i know i need to adjust the prescription that i have it's like i'm you know i'm very comfortable with my medication but there's been times where we've experimented with upping x and dropping y and i'm like oh no i see what i am to people right now this sucks also not to be this is a

complete separate problem but princess leia of cliche, don't you think? Alright, yeah. Does it just keep going on this? Okay, let's see. Oh, for Princess Leia hooker? You know what it is? And you might be surprised, but it's the ones that are completely tatted up, like all over. What, Suicide Girl hooker? But I think that's possible, Johnny.

I know it is, yeah. So it's a problem for me. But that's not really cosplay, that's just a style. know it is yeah that's what's a problem for me but that's not really cosplay that's just a style out loud admitting that it is a problem for him to it's i don't know okay that's not really a good question to even ask it's like the same with like the fucking fresh and fit guys where it's like there are women in your life and you are on camera and i do know you deal with this in private like i do know there are moments where there are people there are times in your life where people do not fuck with you because the shit that you say like this and they just pretend like they're in a world where that

doesn't exist because they want to be able to say whatever i mean yeah i mean speaking fresh and fit their world is crashing down right now it's awesome i love it thumbnails but i don't know the big oh that's a whole i mean yeah i mean that's a whole it's a whole thing but uh fit or whatever his name is fresh whichever he is the one that's not myron the one that never uses his actual name coconuts and barbados guy yeah he um he uh got an escort pregnant and then the person leaked. They had a legitimate relationship too. That's the thing. He has video of her giving gifts to his mom.

Yeah, and so she came out. She posted a lot of information where she was like, this was a real relationship for me. You kind of just ghosted all of a sudden, but let's not act like you didn't introduce me to your parents we talked about a future together uh all these guys are like that where like they are so they are the biggest wife guys on the planet that's the thing that was modicum of affection and they were actually really uh satisfying the h3 debate they did ethan really held them to that and also uh that guy, I think his name is Walter Fit.

Walter Fit, yeah. But I only know from the debate then because I watch it because I hate them. But they, like, he, Walter has bragged about bringing many women, like, home to meet his mom. Weird. But, like, it's, yeah, they also happen to be anti-abortion and then these texts that she posted were basically like we were in a legitimate relationship they are all about like anti-abortion keeping the family you know keeping two parents yeah

literally a man and a woman he's essentially holding him to every he's gotten what he's wanted position yeah he she has an instagram like he has he it's like she's like oh no but like you know we i want to keep the baby i want to have a family blah blah and then he and he's just completely uh goes mask off and it's like oh actually i don't want any of that because he he bought the starter pack he bought the alt-right starter pack and it comes with all that other stuff yes he's like i don't want women to have social media so i guess they're not i have to control their bodies well shit i didn't want all this bullshit well because i feel like there's the only routes like the the guys like that who do the like manosphere like i date a lot of women yeah um that like the only like sex that they do have

i feel like is either like something awful like a like a crime or they pretend to not be their persona in person yeah too and they're like oh no that's just for money and like they have like you said like wife guys in private where they're like oh i promise i know i just said something bad about you on the podcast but i didn't mean it was just for the public it was you know i mean they're soft boys they have to be because the actual personalities they have are extremely unappealing yeah they're extremely unfuckable the uh uh i believe her name is daisy because i don't want to just keep saying like this woman but uh i believe her name is daisy what she was talking about how people in my life warned me about you they said that i shouldn't and I followed my heart and that led us here. And also you were never using protection. Why are you suddenly like acting like you're

not aware of the consequences? This that I will say very quickly is this criticism of her does not mean it led to what happened. Just a separate scenario. Um, but also you gotta in some way be like, why did you follow your heart against the guy from fresh and fit like yeah why did your heart say that i wouldn't but i would say if you followed your heart with the guy from fresh and fit i would have assumed that he wouldn't be anti or he wouldn't be pro-abortion because that's what they say publicly right but i would have assumed he would have been an awful guy a little bit but again you know it's like whatever

people's tastes are but you're like yeah probably Probably the greatest detractor or detractor statement I could make is I bet he's just really boring. She also cooked his ass in the text messages. It's awesome. It's very awesome. She's great. She's great. I don't know her, though.

I don't want to endorse anybody. He's a case study in why soft boy stuff can work because it seems like the pitch is basically, I'm only my real self with you and then so uh i've had friends in the past i'm sure we all have that have been in those relationships and for a period of time seen that partner as whether a public figure or otherwise like it's a pragmatic thing their work needs it or it's the way they grew up or something on those lines but with me they're able to access this more sensitive side and the reality is no they that is as authentic as this

version of them because the truth is is that they have no personality they are spending all their time performing that and have been since high school or they're spending their time mostly unsuccessfully performing this and when they are unsuccessful generate generates more resentment for women yeah which then transfers into that character being so extreme that they can say it's just a persona babe i love you i'm only boring with you also oh wait sorry go ahead i was just gonna say there's no way to enforce this but i i wish like wish like a driver's test. I wish you had to just check for having sex. Before you have sex, you have to take a test where you're like just a yes or no of if someone gets pregnant

is the responsibility on both of you. And if you say no, you're not allowed. I mean, I guess that's what like payment like um uh payment or why am i forgetting the for when you have to pay for a child yeah child support yeah sorry um buy a kid when you have to support a child what is that called but like i guess that's the like legal your way to force it but it's just like even to just be like that's your problem it's like you you're signing that responsibility away the second you start having sex. Oh, yeah. For the love of God.

And then also in the text, he's like, well, if you got pregnant, I've got to talk to four other girls. It's like he's almost like lying to get out of it. Yeah. She's like, there were four other girls you were sleeping with unprotected, which also is a huge hazard from like a sexual health standpoint. If you're not communicating with your partners about what you're doing. And she really like in the perfect language, she was like, then why did you come in me? You came in me.

I don't want to, she did say that in the message. She did say that. I just, I know, look, I want to go directly to certain people in the audience. I know you think you're the one where it won't go wrong. I know you think, I don't have a condom with me i'll skip this side you're not the guy also i'll say you need to understand i don't think any of those guys are watching sad boys come on the fellas bloody boys the boys boys yeah can i speak to

a demographic that includes essentially those people? There's clips of Myron crying on the podcast. He broke a mug. He threw a mug against the ground. That's why he cried. No. Actually, it's really... If there's anything

to learn from seeing... Actually, can we pull up that clip really quick of Myron breaking down? I don't care. i think they're going through enough but uh i'll say for this it's no better proof when you see someone like fresher fit if you are like one of these like shitty like manister your people or just like regular in your life just uh like a horrible like misogynist you, you will be alone when you get old. Like it is a surefire way.

You can call yourself cool. Your boys will support you then. And then they will maybe either get married or be alone themselves. And you will either A, be alone at night when you're older or B, be in a very unhappy relationship where you are torturing somebody that you're with. Yeah, you're advocating for consequences you are torturing somebody that you're with.

You're advocating for consequences you don't know. You don't understand. Yes. And it's just like, you see the clip of Hit and Myron breaking down and you're like, their life has been extremely difficult because they've chosen this path. And then they'll, at other times, be like, my life's fucking awesome. Why are these people criticizing me? Or when they're kicking someone off their show for having a different opinion.

Yeah. I mean, kicking off somebody that they like somebody they brought there, got drunk and then are like, Hey, we'd love to interview about only fans. Stop interrupting me. Yeah. Halfway deep in their solo cup.

I'm just like, I'm so exhausted with shit. And it's like, how many, how many times do we see? Are we going to see these? Like, I don't know. I mean, I think what the bigger problem is like what algorithms are showing young boys they're always gonna find a new audience sorry myron got angry defending fresh

breaks the punisher cup epic rant no absolutely fucking the choice you know who was around me the whole fucking time these fucking guys so you motherfuckers can say whatever the fuck you want to say i'm not going anywhere i'm gonna stand by the guys that stand by me because you fucking pieces of shit aren't fucking there when i'm going to it you pieces of shit aren't fucking there when i'm fucking figuring out what the fuck i'm gonna do because we got the nonsense you motherfuckers weren't there when everyone in their fucking mind came at us you motherfuckers weren't there when i got the false accusation against me you motherfuckers weren't there when I got the false accusation against me. You motherfuckers weren't there when this bitch lied and said that I got her pregnant

when I fucking did it. And then you dumbasses, three years later, believe some bitch that makes the same fucking allegations again. You fucking idiots. I'm not going anywhere. I'm staying right fucking here. All right?

These guys were with me in my darkest times. I'm not gonna fucking leave diamond in their darkest times fuck you motherfuckers I got my real estate I got my money I'm fine I'm not going anywhere I can't be bought I wish I could become a ghost for a night and whisper when he's about to go to sleep

and go you've had these horrible times because of your own actions and you could just become a better person you can't improve because your soul is ruined. I don't want to say it, but it seems a little emotional. Oh, I'm sorry. Did I offend you with what I said?

Also, what is the criticism of like, hey, all the people that don't listen to my show, you weren't there. Yeah, it's- Because I wasn't there, your show sucks. Of course now he's got these strong emotional bonds with these people because he's gone through all these hard times of stuff that they've caused and the and the harm that they've done has consequences and it's just like yeah man like shit your life is is a wreck right now because

and both of theirs are and their show is in jeopardy because you built a foundation that was rotten and horrible. It's like consequences of your own actions. But on the bright side, you do have a supportive chat that says Myron hitting midlife crisis. The entire time. All it is, is that and lol.

Just L. And like, that is a, what would normally be a private moment revealed for if you're one of these guys. Like, this is truly what your life is like. It's not having sex every single night. And it's like, I still don't know how you can, like, it's the whole thing is like we go clubbing, we have sex every night, but we're all for, like, strong family values. Like, you can do those things in our view of what a strong family value is but not theirs

that's the thing it's the starter pack issues they said to themselves we will do whatever it takes to get our money up get your money up but also you know like women shouldn't have a job

I also forgot that their whole philosophy is that men can actually do whatever they want whenever and then in that it's just one of the i don't know um but also real gangsters dress like don draper other fun things are that myron was a rower in college which i think is really funny which one's that's that guy the one who's the punisher he killed the punisher and then all and then he became a cop and i think at the the end of the day, like the reason that men in America are like this is because like glycine production is hidden from them. They don't know what's really going on systematically.

I assume that they're using domestic, maybe Texas-based glycine producer. That's the biggest problem because America doesn't want you to have foreign glycine. And that's why today's episode of Sad Boys is sponsored by Dong Hua Jin Long. And Daisy, the person presenting in the factory. Get your glycine up, fellas. Get yourself a cold glass of glycine.

Fresh from the vat. Grab yourself maybe several hundred gallons. Make sure it's from that very specific machine, of course. This episode is also sponsored by Red 40. Red 40. It's red and it's for you. And it's from that very specific machine of course this episode is also sponsored by red 40 red 40 it's red and it's for you and it's what that's what the 4 and 40s and it's why eddie's pee was red don't forget to grab a hot steaming bowl of prime it don't drink it it hurts put it in the Steam it up nice. It'll be like a soup that hurts you. Yum.

Shout out to Logan Paul. I do want to look at other standup of that guy because I want to see what it looks like because his normal talking is so bad and we know his inward joke is bad, but like, what if he's doing a topic where he can't rely on that shock value? Joe Biden! Joe Biden! Joe Biden! You guys are still playing politics? This guy keeps yelling Joe Biden over there? That is the worst Tourette's ever, by the way. I'm letting you know racial slurs, Tourette's. Wow, he really-

My brother has Tourette's, he just yells Joe Biden all the time. He managed to add some racial slurs in there. Yeah, he's got a quarter. That was impressive. Sleight of hand. Alright, guys, take careing my f***ing jobs. All right, guys, take care. I hope your bus never gets you where you're going, okay? Like, this one had a little bit more of what I would consider regular crowd work structure.

But you can tell he almost mad libs. He's like, I gotta work in this edgy bit, this edgy bit, this edgy bit. I think part of the appeal of that kind of stuff is that you are just, it's almost like insurance where you need to, oh, I don't have a bit for this. Right. What will at least get attention for something? Because anything's better than a long pause. Interestingly, this clip ended not looking great for him. It looked kind of sad.

Where he's like, I hope your bus doesn't get to where you're, because people are walking out of the show. Oh, you're going to walk out? Well, I don't have a funny joke for you. I'm just sad about it. It's just people leaving. I hope you have a bad day. Also, why was the guy just shouting Joe Biden?

That's a very weird heckle. He thought he boosted Joe Biden. It's interesting because I know, you know, better meaning comedians can be heckled as well. But in my... Everybody gets heckled. Everybody gets heckled, but in my brain, he asked for it. In my brain, like, he did something that made that happen.

Also, it's, you know, if there's anything you have prepared material for, it's that. No, speaking of default bits, just do his age. Joe Biden. Yeah. Joe Biden.

It is very funny to just tackle someone with that though. Yeah. Just keep hitting them with it. Um, did we have another clip on that second slide? I was so sorry. I looked at my watch for a second. You said something to me and I did hear you,

but I looked up and I wasn't present for that moment. sometimes i i look at my phone to look things up it's fine you know what uh uh i'll say is a small detour that really really freaked me out um not only with my video but did you guys have a trained like response in your head when you're kind of sucked into your phone and maybe you're on like discord with somebody and they ask if you're listening and you notice your brain says like yes i am and then you catch yourself and you go, oh, I'm so sorry. Tony and I talk about it, my brother Tony, where we'll have a, no, I'm listening, and then we'll stop immediately and go, whoa,

I couldn't control that. My brain was trying to pretend that I was inattention, but I was really so out of it. It's like a skill you develop ignoring your parents. Yeah, imagine if that was in your glasses, and you were looking dead in the eye at somebody, and you're like, for sure so i was listening to jimmy jimmy beats he's about to explode something real big so i'm really excited he's got a huge fleet i did watch that's crazy third of a special from two years ago i couldn't find the it was i watched the no lives matter special um tell you what that's better than all as a

sentiment he opens that up in in that special pretty in like the first minute he says and so i named this the no lives matter special and i think he was thinking he'd get a pop for that there is a moment he says it you know he's like because it yeah and there's women we're not only fans like what's going on with that you know so it's not like a nihilism statement he just wanted doesn't just want to praise oh these are awful thumbnails damn they're really bad i actually like the brook simulation thumbnail yeah that was good they got a little cone heads i've never really seen cone heads but as a thumbnail i'm like pretty cool pretty weird heads i want to clear broken simulation would be a good name for a better podcast right like if it was uh like i like when like uh whenever gabrus

talks about conspiracy theories with like anthony otominick yeah and it's like fun because it's like they're riffing and and and one of them is just like really into conspiracies and brings gay bristlies because it's like the guy who did uh the Donald Trump show he was like the Donald Trump impression yeah yeah that's what's fun about conspiracy theories yeah is that they are fun to do but it's uh it's actually a lot kind of like some comedians where you have a very basic, not that compelling point, but you know that if comedy is profound, it means more or something. Also, can I say, a very smart move of him

to put a hashtag on your album cover for your comedy album. That way people know to put it on the internet. Oh, that's right. And I won't forget. He has a shout out to his dogs. Adorable. Are they? I still don't know what they are.

Because he only used ghost and ninja emojis to describe them. This is Trump playing Ghost of Tsushima. You can choose combat or stealth. It's all about your uncle. We just watched another one of his stand-up clips, and it was very bad. So on that note, the show is over. No, it's not really over though.

Cause we are going to be hanging out on patreon.com slash sad boys. Eddie's joining us. I'm staying for a very special episode of nights. What was the millennial mom coffee thing? I was just curious. Are there reasons why people don't typically let me drink coffee? And it's not because I don't like it. It's because now my husband

has to deal with me all the way home and we still have another three and a half hours left. This is hilarious. It's fun. I mean, it is. Interesting phrasing in that, like, this is why people don't let me drink coffee.

It's not just because I don't like it. I do like it. I don't like it. And there are bad effects. You people don't let me drink coffee. It's not just because I don't like it. I do like it. I don't like it. And there are bad effects. You get too quirky when you drink coffee. We have to stop it. I just think of this guy who used to come up in my YouTube shorts a lot,

who does a really good Redditor impression. Oh yeah. This guy? This guy really is like too good at it. As I sat on my couch reading a laughable pamphlet of misinformation, I was suddenly disturbed by a commotion emanating from outside. So I decided to venture over to the window to discover the origin of the sound waves. I was both mildly surprised and amused to find two simians engaged in unsanctioned combat but with that being said we end every

episode of sad boys with a particular phrase we love you oh yeah oh i got it i got it and we're sorry Goochie girl, Goochie girl, how you doing? How you moving, girl? Moving, girl, how's your day looking? That future girl, future girl, yeah, we on now. Take my money, go away, all you want is go to rich for me.