Sad Boyz - Soulmate POVs

Episode Date: February 17, 2024

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Welcome to Sad Boys, a podcast about feelings and other things. Also, I'm Jarvis. Minus one second. Wow, that was really impressive. Thanks, Steve. You know what's funny is that's still slower than the world record. It sucks. It's dog shit how long it took to do the Rubik's Cube. And I looked more focused as well. You weren't looking at it.

I fucking love those TikToks, Steve. It's like they don't like the cube. It's always some kid who's like a Rubik's Cube enthusiast coming up. They like, it's like they don't like the cube. It's always some kid who's like a Rubik's Cube enthusiast coming up and being like, hey, what's up? Jacob, could you fix this one? And they're just going like, yep.

Do it really fast with one hand. Like that's, it's a Rubik's Cube. Same rules as always. Thank you so much. And I'm Jordan. Hi, what's up? We were just talking before the show about

building furniture and i was about to say that i am in a weird place mentally physically my body's deteriorating i'm having like a bad sort of thing thank you um sick i'm having like a bad health like what would you even call it like bad health winter where cuff season season of bad the season of bad health where like um that's a like a destiny battle pass right right the season of bad health. Yeah, timeless travels. Yeah, timeless travels. All of my chronic stuff is coming up more so than usual. So I've been breaking out into hives every day. That doesn't happen as much since I've known you, at least. It's gone in waves.

It's gone in waves. It's gone in waves. And I had a big, big kind of flare up with it in – well, the thing is I take allergy medicine every day. It's like this chronic hive thing. It's not allergies, but it's like an autoimmune thing that is like a histamine response. So that's why I do the antihistamines and stuff. I have some of

the hives like on my arm and just it's like all up my back right now and so it's like very hard to be comfortable but that's been like it was a little bad maybe five years ago before that it like mostly disappeared and then it came back like five years ago and then it was really intense for like a little bit. And then it's like chilled out a bit since. But then recently, like the past week or two, it's just been really intense again. And I'll like, well, I like had a shoot the other day and I woke up and like my lips were super swollen. And then I had to like take my like Zyrtec, which is just like the over the counter, like anti-histamines that i can

take just hope that it like goes down but it just like makes me uncomfortable like every everywhere i am and so i've just been spending a lot of time in bed and then i also have uh not been having um a lot of i've just been having separately to this executive function issues so like i have never helped by poor quality of life exactly yeah and then my sleep has also been kind of whack like fastidiously psycho and so i think the sleep and the histamine stuff like is tied together like when my sleep is bad it does tend to get worse but the yeah that's literally the case right like when people struggle to sleep from some kind of dietary like i i can't eat like some fish for the same reason and you know i mean there's not sleeping bastard yeah you

are you are the not sleeping i was did i not do it last night yeah but not otherwise kind of sometimes but the yeah you wake up and it's at some point or not even wake up but at some point your body starts getting itchier and it's like boosted by the adrenaline that you kind of start leaking because you're trying to move and it's like the amount of and this is like a little tmi so but like the the sign that it's getting bad and this has happened is like when i was a kid when i was a kid when this first started happening it was was like 11, 10, 11. I don't really know. I'm itching right now.

Jesus Christ. When it first started happening, I would like scratch myself so hard that I would like bleed and scab and I just wouldn't notice. And so it's like it's just bothering me so much. And it's so like incessant that I just scratch instinctively. And then I like I'm like, oh oh no that that that was like already kind of you know to the point of like breaking the skin and it's like a buggy body that needs like a patch because it's like well i shouldn't have the instinct to scratch if that's worse yeah turn off don't do that um and i don't want any no backseating in the comments about by health uh unless you specifically have chronic urticaria uh i'll give a swing stop it but like uh but anyway um so on top of that i

have had all these backseating that is a good way of phrasing yeah yeah uh well i've been streaming a bit and we'll talk about that no but uh so on top of that the executive function stuff is rough and so i am doing some moving around in the uh in the place and re like i've got some new furniture little furniture pieces to put in the office and i they will take no time to build i just haven't sat down and built them so i'm literally just going to get a task rabbit to build it so that i can move on with that like turn that page of my to-do list because right now i just fucking can't sit down to do it and it's like the easiest thing in the world so it's like frustrating because i've you know built larger more complex pieces of furniture

uh there's that complex like complex right there's a we can know it intellectually as much as we want exactly but the truth is that like when you're low you're only as good as your most recent x thing right yeah only as function you're only as fit as your current fitness you're only as good as your most recent X thing, right? Yeah. You're only as fit as your current fitness. You never achieved anything that wasn't like today. Or like, I've always been the way I am. And that's bad. Yeah, exactly. And so I know that if I just wait longer,

I will come back around and be able to do it. But I want things to keep moving. So I might just like have a have a task tasker come it's still nice it's still nice to see progress exactly exactly i always forget the fucking time but like there is i i think a point of maturity or or i don't know um i guess you could call it emotional development but that always sounds so kind of wanky, you know, but like a version where you kind of accept the things you can't be good at at certain times or the, you know,

the exercises where you're pulling an old injury or the habits you have that are bad, like by like having a lot of storage and surfaces, for example, is like a change. I feel like we both acknowledged after moving i think both in the we talked about it in like san francisco we both like didn't realize that that was helpful oh yeah and where if you are predisposed to like depressive lapses or even just for whatever reason extended periods are not being as functional it's prevention is the only cure like you just have to have so many drawers at such immediate distance yeah yeah that or better yet like

having like a designated area where the dishes that need to go upstairs it's like having a having a place for everything like i literally um the laundry can go on the floor but it goes on the floor in the in the specific place it goes on the floor so it doesn't there's a room that i'm turning into the game room that has just been like the recycle bin uh or the no no no no it's the equivalent of when you want to clean up your desktop and so you create a folder and then you put everything on your desktop into that folder personal but yeah so i'm just like trying to weather that weather that storm and it's it's temporary but um and try not to be too hard on myself in the meantime because that's the easy thing is like oh my god these things are so easy why can't you do them but you've got to just

meet yourself where you are and you know be kind to yourself and not you don't gain anything by beating yourself up so you just so ruminating on the what instead of the why kind of thing yeah or just like ruminating in the moment too because you've got to like uh kind of just continue to be present and focus on like what your needs are my site called me very explicitly out for ruminating on details. And we, I mean, we've talked about it before.

Like it's so, it is literally just easier to focus on tangible pieces of a problem that were like a unique to the moment. Like, man, I just, my bucket, I can't,

I need new shoelaces. Right. That's like, and I can't seem to get the new shoelaces. I'm pathetic. Yeah. As opposed to like, well,

you just need something has to be done, but bit often not even a crazy high priority thing you just sometimes it's um mixing up like correlation and causation right it's like when i have built furniture for my place i felt really good right i must i'm last time it must have made me feel good as opposed to like already kind of okay at the time, and then building the furniture brought it up. Like, I'm sorry you're not feeling so good, dude. That's okay. You don't look... Saying you look crazy is completely wrong.

You look handsome as always. Hey. Well, you know, it's funny, because, like, I have to just, you know, power... Or I have to kind of just set aside the sort of negative narrative and just continue on and kind of not acknowledge it, or at least like hit the, hit the snooze button on it. Because, um, I also, it's one of those things where I think in my life, and this is, I think common with people with ADHD too. It's, it's like, um, it's like, everything's like high functioning and then like everything like goes to shit. And then you like sort of, and they kind of rise and falls. And so for me, it's like everything is like high functioning and then like everything like goes to shit and then you like sort of – and they kind of rise and falls.

And so for me, it's like everything is up or everything is down. It's kind of how it's always felt. And I am also not eating well right now. Haven't had good health habits. It's like haven't been walking around, haven't even been playing pokemon go uh the uh i'm gonna try today to just eat a salad once for one meal this i haven't been eating the worst but i just have been eating totally fine and then eating a bunch of candy at the end of the day and i'm like why am i doing that it's because i i'm like i need some sort of solace, some sort of reprieve from the perils of existence.

And that's like one of the, just like biologically I will get some satisfaction. There's only so much. It's like I'm getting a bad drinking habit with it. Yeah, it's like just a little bit of an escape. It won't be good enough and it won't go for long enough, but like, I don't know. I can like lap Tekken combos on a couple IPAs in a way that i can't you know right that's yeah

bone dry right and you know part of the reason for that is um i've talked to my therapist about this is uh you it it's not a it's not meant for this purpose but like it's knowledge to know that like when part of your mind is like quieted you are more at peace kind of like when i'm um it which is like uh if you're drinking then you're like a little you're just like not yeah able to like tap into that anxiety sometimes as much it depends on the person but obviously again uh slippery slope and i wouldn't recommend anyone self-medicate with alcohol and there's a little bit of well i can't go anywhere i've been drinking right what i'm supposed to do my emails i just be it's 9 p.m i just had beer what am i gonna do but like my version of that was uh

i always wish that i could be in the state when I'm like about to fall asleep because I feel like I enjoy things so much more. Oh yeah. Like, um, I'm like, I can just, I can just listen to this,

like watch this video that I normally, or watch a movie that I normally, uh, would be to like sort of divided attention, anxious brain, not be able to focus on. But now because my faculties oh i think this is where i talk to my therapist about this like when i'm tired like super tired sometimes

that's when i feel the most at peace because my brain doesn't have the energy to bounce around and be anxious it's like i can only really focus on what's in front of me or you can like tap on it for a second and be like well i don't know how i can deal with it yeah yeah i'm dumb right now yeah exactly exactly um but and you can't remember all the details yeah and they're not important and which is yeah i mean you shouldn't that's that is ideal it's like um the the thing that i've been talking to my therapist about is like um uh single pointedness which is just to like only focus on the task at hand because um it's a thing i just need to practice and and in that in in a world where you can control 100 of your attention

anxiety doesn't exist because like by definition it's like divided attention and i'll just i'll just resolve the thing i don't feel good about i'll just there we go it's gone but but uh but yeah it's like easier said than done obviously because even like i'm someone who always like wants something in my ears some sort of distraction some sort of something to like quiet the voices or whatever like there's not really voices it's just like the discomfort of like silence i guess sure um especially if you don't feel at times like we're describing right like you don't feel like you can fill that time with doing something proactive and solving it like i don't even want to i mean

you know it's the classic putting on a podcast in the transition from picking up the uber eats meal to the couch while choosing something to watch on the tv casting it playing something on the switch while you eat dude 100 it's like the um I talked to my therapist about this as well like the discomfort of the thing you're in the middle of an action let's say you're doing the dishes and then like the thing ends like all right guys that's enough for this video we'll catch you in the next one my hands are wet it's like you enter a quick time event fuck um yeah yeah it's like uh it's like, you know, there's like a red halo around everything, like around the screen, and you're like, doo-doo.

You get four retries until the video actually ends. Oh, fuck. I got to refresh the home feed. Is there a new video you hit refresh one time? You're like, fuck, that one doesn't fit. You hit refresh the second one. Fuck. I don't want to watch that either. When you refresh the third one, you're like, fuck, that one doesn't fit. You refresh the second one. Fuck, I don't want to watch that either.

When you refresh the third one, you're like, I guess. I guess I could. Autoplay goes on to like, you just listen to a two hour video essay and then it goes into a three hour video essay. Same creator, but you listen to it last week. Oh, yeah. It's not that old. Oh, the amount of times the autoplay or you get recommended a video that you forgot that you started watching and we're fully like halfway through like an hour and a half video that happened yesterday with uh dan olsen video

i've been re-rolling through the folding ideas videos um because when it comes to re-watching a long video i i do quite enjoy doing it but there's a mental hurdle to starting it like that's not efficient i'm not using my time efficiently oh my god as though i remember the nuances of a fucking folding ideas video from two years like how would i know yeah no the each bomber guy video the plagiarism one like that one obviously everyone was recommending it but i was like i need i need to find the right moment to watch a four-hour video oh dude i yeah i need to see uh tenet and imax kind of yeah yeah I need to see it the way the artist intended I feel like I'm just such a fan of Harry

especially that I just don't want to kind of misuse his videos but at the same time I've never once felt that afterwatch it's never taken place like I've just been shitting during a part of it and it does not take it away from the video at all because I wasn't even looking at the video

I was on the switch it's a delusion i do think it's a uh maybe it's a habit that we develop but i do also think it is like a a component of adhd i feel at least where you're like trying to optimize a lot and you get option paralysis because well i could be watching i could be casting to my tv but the TV in the living room is, you know, it's like, then I'd have to hang out in the living room and I want to build this piece of furniture in my bedroom. But I think my-

I need the perfect thing at the perfect place everywhere. Yeah. We've got to take the dog out in a sec. So do I watch it now or should I take little video? Yeah. How do I- Okay. So yeah.

How do I plot this path where I walk the dog, I do my catches for pokemon go i listen to the video i need to listen to and it's like it's all leisure like it's all something i want to do and it's also something where it's like you i could just walk the dog with no music and just enjoy it yeah and it's fine i've not enjoyed a a piece of fiction as much as I did just watching. I had kind of a manic type thing yesterday. Hypermanic response to good news, which we can mention maybe in a sec. But I had kind of a hypermanic period the following day.

And so I couldn't really sleep last night, not in the normal ways. I didn't want to take my new medication because I was worried about being drowsy and just missing the show and uh i recently i need to get past that but i might need you to start calling me um thanks dude i will um have like an amber alert life alert sleepy bastard eat shit yeah but i I It's like a sleep app But I can listen to it live It's like a baby monitor For a man I'm so drowsy

Oh let's check on the baby But I was so Oh he's sleeping on his face Yeah you give me a teddy bear As a gift With a huge obvious 4K camera In the center of it

His eyes Are freaking Sony G Master lenses I can hear them Back in focus His eyes are like Sony G Master lenses. I can hear them back in focus. That's what they shot Avatar on. There's a director.

What's that Leonardo DiCaprio meme? You said Jacob with all the equipment. Oh, yeah. Okay, well, if you want to. The lights on. You cannot sleep in there. There's well, if you want to... The light's on. You cannot sleep in there. This is the one mic in the longest XLR you've used. XR going all the way out your house into mine. We convert my garage into a studio.

I'm like, well, I guess... It's Jabba's idea. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I got really, really into the extended edition of watching The Hateful Eight at like 5 a.m. this morning because I couldn't sleep a wink. And I watched it comfortably. I got this little mini couch in my bedroom. Again, prevention is a cure. I'm too depressed to go to the living room.

I guess I'll later, you know. But, dude, being physically too EP? prevention is a cure dude I'm about to go to the living room I guess I'll later you know but dude being physically too EP being too much of a small bean at the time to get up

move around want to do other stuff do a crossword on my phone at the same time laying down on the couch watching April 8th

and portrait you know like I know when you're too tired to do the other things it is some people are just wired that way and i'm like oh you got the good roll oh dude when the adderall also is like rolling in on extended and you weren't expecting like it to come around again and you finally uh install the supports on a shelf that has been sitting technically been up

in the living room for a while but wobbles when you put something new on it the day where i installed those two shelves when i became the shelf bastard i that feels like that's my crimson chin i like when i turn into the is what i i feel like oh like i shout shazam right oh man i mean i still i still have to hang all the art and i still have to do so many things but i know the answer can be no but if if it would ever help for us to have a leisure day of doing that i know i keep telling anastasia that we're just going to take off one day and i'm going to like figure some shit out oh speak of the devil i I forgot she was even coming. What the hell? Oh, he heard what we did. Howdy, howdy.

Anastasia, I literally just said your name. This is really creepy. I heard it. Yeah, we said it three times in a mirror. Yeah. Well, if it isn't fucking show favorite. Oh, we love the episodes with Anastasia. Yeah.

We won't show her face. love the episodes with Anastasia yeah don't we won't show her face shut the hell up um somebody do fan art of Anastasia I mean they know what she looks like so it's not

it doesn't work the same way as the Jacob ones but do do it if you don't know what Anastasia looks like do an interpret yeah

they just draw a side work I love fan art actually that would be sick please do do do do please do do uh please do do yeah that's me and my my doctor they're like please do you're you're having like an inflated stomach yeah oh come on please please do do that's me talking to my dog uh when he's like i don't wanna and i'm like please do you do foxes uh

the the command for her to like pee while we're out is uh go potty and i feel so embarrassing i know it's right it is like it is perfect for her it's quick she gets it but it is there is this um the toxic masculine part of me is just like yeah party go party oh i said go party you freaking americans don't understand my accent it's just my like sweet hispanic neighbor didn't hear a word i said what was that party i said i was just saying i was just saying that um we're talking about executive function stuff and uh jordan was talking about like when you finally like like connect that shelf or whatever that's kind of there but it's a little loosely thing i was talking about how i need to how i need to put the art up in the rooms i need to figure out what we're starting at though we we

did we did some of this furniture we got was me and anastasia like on zoom going to finally solve this problem of like what's gonna go over here but um it doesn't feel like one of those things too where depending on your mood and well-being it can be a work work thing but also it's like the little things often feels like, why was I putting this off for so long? And you then feel worse. But if you're a little more balanced or a little more, you know, even if you're a little low, but you get that done,

you can have the exact opposite response of like, oh, thank God I'm out of the slump. Neither of which are true. It's just phrasing, right? You didn't do something. Then you did something.

Why is not? The other day we were looking at, we were in a meeting, a Savoy's meeting about this episode and talking about some stuff that we're going to talk about later on in the episode. And I pulled up an old episode of the show from June, and I saw the background. And like while there has been a lot that's changed it reminded me of how much i haven't done down here and i had this immense like come the fuck on dude why

aren't you ah just fucking do the thing jordan i uh talking a lot about myself how are you doing uh and i'm gonna talk about myself some more. I'll talk about yourself. Ew. I do sometimes feel like maybe it's a comfort with the show thing or like finding, you know, voice so-and-so. I feel like I went from not liking how forced, ostentatious I used to be on like older versions of the show or my channel and stuff back to being a little too i don't know a different kind of inauthentic which is like a little lower these are not things i'm going to translate to the show all the people around me but you know again lower points you analyze different ways to now uh i'm i'm analyzing my silliness level because i do still like going ew i'm saying like zip you know those like stuff like the sound

doing sound so he's just like uh yeah it was really hard it was like stupid shit like that it's like a slide whistle i am trying to like you know accept the journey the change or whatever that's just a thought that randomly came to mind anyhow um i'm always right nothing's wrong about me i was so bad because uh and i didn't want to talk about it previous episodes of the show but since well we've always known it was coming up but my we are in the process of my next visa the the final frontier final visa and you know ideally and short of me doing a misdemeanor and or being killed well i guess it's still the final piece uh misdemeanor is my mr beast but he's so channel where i take things away from people. I'm going to take your house if you don't give me a million bucks.

I stole a hundred boys and a hundred girls. I blinded I trapped him in a hole. It won't let him out of this Lamborghini. I drove that bus into a pit with the kids. That's so mean. Describing a huge crime is mean.

Yeah. Man. That's mean. You have a hundred people, you have a hundred rich guys touch a Lamborghini and whoever stops touching it last loses their Lamborghini.

Is beheaded in a guillotine. Hold on. That might be a channel I'd watch. They all own, it's a timeshare Lamborghini that they all own. They all own it. A couple and they have to get

divorced. I guess Saw, that's kind of Mr. Meany. Yeah. Jigsaw is kind of Mr. Meany. Mr. Meaner. Hey, you want to play a game? Has anyone ever done that? Mr. Meaner? I don't think I've heard it.

It's Mr. Meaner. Maybe like a Flash villain or something. I feel like you should cut this out of the episode because it's gold and we need to make it. It's my Marvel superhero. Oh, that's awesome. It's a musical artist. Oh, it's a group. They're small. You can take it.

You're mine. Destroyed by clout. But yeah, I was very anxious because April is when my H-1B with Subway's LLC results. You might be thinking, hold on, but you haven't even been back in the US that long. That's because the H-1B, which typically lasts three years, extendable often, not always, lasts for, to a freestyle rip poetry because the h1b i be on the visa visa i might get kicked out i be not on h1b no more see ABC, H1B, CP3, oh, my God. Uh-oh, PRM, Visa, next. No backseating movies.

There's some, we accidentally activated one sleeper agent. Someone woke up and decided to start a podcast. They go, I must buy a shirt. SM7B. Yeah, I did every new podcast. I need to invest a large amount of money before getting there. I really do. Okay, this is a and i love you all all my friends who are podcasting with uh sure sm7b's these mics cost like a third a fourth a fifth of the price same audio quality for this sort of podcast yeah i mean there's too many people holding handheld sm7b's yeah unless you're

planning to release it like on apple music with the oh 3d spatial audio you're planning to release it like on apple music with the oh 3d spatial audio you're planning to record thriller inside of a fucking uh recordings booth exporting at source you also don't need a cloud lifter to get to boost your clean gain like i have sm7b i've used it for many years but cloud could it's got hypebeast true. It's got Hypebeast. True. That's true. I am Hypebeast.

These are all facts. It's a Supreme SM58. The SM58, though. Oops. It's a classic, dude. But yeah, I've been very anxious because it's coming up, and I think as soon as it was six months away... Oh, yeah, the reason being that I got the H-1B three years ago.

Two and a half years ago, but travel ban stopped me from traveling. Trump said, no. I don't like the show. I don't like the show. I don't like high-skill workers entering the U.S. Go start doing tech videos again. Bring back the tech videos.

Bring back the new stuff. Bring back pitched. I like the D&D. I was the one guy who listened. I listened to that episode. Listen to ARCS. I can't do a Trump. I wish I could do it.

I need to fucking sit down for like 10 hours and practice a Trump voice. Yeah, dude. We got to get it in place. 10 hours is a long time. Accents take work. I like your Trump better than the real Trump, so I think you should just stick with it. We're psyched. You know what voices do

come naturally to me as some of the Baldur's Gate characters? Don't touch me. Don't get me going. Don't get me smooving. It might be the whole damn thing. The thumbnail for this one is, and the title is Unfortunately, Jordan's Baldur's Gate's game we took a hard left turn he recites every uh selection prompt like uh when

you're in combat you select gail and he goes all but no gloom all doom oh i uh wait hold on let me do this uh i want to do an illithid roll. So that's going to give me a, it's going to be a difficulty class of two. Not going to be very hard. And we're going to, and hold on, let's throw on some guidance. Of course. You know, just a little plus one D4,

just a little bit of extra. And we're back to talking about the visas. Oh, thank Christ. It's a one. It benefited everybody else that it's a one. My bloodthirsty friend. It doesn't matter. Whatever.

I'm just a normal human. Don't even fucking worry about it. Fucking relax. Hey. I have so many funny things to say about this game. And it'll crush in the Patreon-only episode, all right? We might have to like start at the end no we'll do a little bit and then we'll uh we'll we'll okay here's my plan

we'll put on a timer for 10 minutes after after this and we'll talk about boulders gate stuff and then we'll just do the rest on patreon respect uh yep visa ending in april we were making a submission to recapture that time i don't even know if i should go into too much detail about the visa stuff but i also want to raise awareness for some of the weird logistics surrounding this stuff because especially with h1bs there's a lot of it is clouded and a lot of people even with work visas especially work visas um are not afforded the benefit of an experienced legal team or consultation, which I have been via Subway Chelsea. I wasn't sure if I was going to get the recapture time.

You're supposed to hear back within 15 days if you pay for premium processing, which we did at the end of December. Then we got some weird email at the end of January when we should have already heard back saying, oh, there was some miscommunication. We're reapplying. It's going to be another 15 days. It was almost another 15 days

and I did get it. And now I have another 400 days. Let's fucking go. And then once the next one is submitted, I am permitted to stay until that one resolves, which could be a couple of years after that. And if I get it, I'm here permanently anyway. So yeah, but yeah, the TLDR is like, i am permitted to stay until that one resolves which could be a couple years after that and if i get it i'm here permanently anyway so yeah the uh but yeah the tldr is like we had to apply to

all of the time that jordan spent in the uk with the visa not using the visa to be in america we uh applied with the government to like have that time back but i think like traditionally is is more framed as to the benefit of the company because we weren't able to like have that time back but i think like traditionally is is more framed as to the benefit of the company because we weren't able to like utilize the asset that they paid for and it's submitted yeah i wasn't able to utilize jordan as an asset i see him as a pawn i was not applied yeah like an oil to say a rapier using finesse on the back out of my bonus action dip. Oh no come back. Minus view somehow. A cunning action

of sorts. I know I'm edging you. I'm gooning for Baldur's Gate. I don't I'm still kind of this was the thing that kind of put me into a hyper manic loop was

getting that news back, finally breathing a sigh of relief because that has still been an active anxiety even since I came back. Right. I've been back for just over a year and that was always on the horizon and there was a very good chance we wouldn't get a big chunk of it because there were two different reasons travel ban was probably very like i'm very confident about that because that was explicitly outside of my control and then the the other like you know 200 days or whatever it was was when i was looking after my mom which could have been seen as elective in a different way turns out didn't matter that was elective but that was like the you know lawyers god bless them they are very deliberately vague

when it comes to like contingency plans and the like and now getting that receipt through i woke up to it and i cried my eyes out dude i did i didn't get up till 3 p.m i woke up at 10 and i just stayed in bed i cried and then i would watch something on my phone i just can't get up i'm not depressed well i am but it's not it's not what's keeping me in bed it really just is i don't know how to approach a day without the feeling of blood test results on the horizon and i don't i because i didn't really know what to do with it i was in this kind of stasis kind of like we saying, where you enjoy the entertainment a little more because there are lower stakes on stuff. There's a lot of shit I still have to do for things, personal life stuff in the UK and stuff related to a whole bunch of bullshit outside of Visa. side of visa but that resolving my my psychiatrist very boldly called me out on uh investigating and focusing on the minutiae of what's stressing me out instead of say like grieving for example i'm

like you know if anybody asks about my mom i just won't talk about it because the thing that is tangible and that is the visa very real thing very real problem but it is something that is tangible and there is the visa very real thing very real problem but it is something that is it's only ruminating because what can i say about the visa there's nothing i can do what i can do is talk to my partner about things with my mom and i was like i don't i want to and she's very on board but i get i just start getting angry like before i get sad and then like as soon as this news came through that has not been a problem anymore i don't know why but it's clutch it's pogchamp dude uh death don't mean anything to me i'm immune now yeah it's true uh but yeah no it's i think i'm still riding high on what is you know it's funny to be so excited about just kind of like less fear it's you know it's not like a fun fellas yeah it's you know

it's mediocre it's mid if you will but i am very uh it's now when i get a little i'm putting up a shelf i don't feel embarrassed at the thought of putting this time and effort into putting up that shelf only to leave later when we do an episode of sad boys i don't feel sad that what if that's the last one when we do uh me and katie stayed up till like 6 a.m doing playing co-op boulders gate not i'm not gonna talk about boulders gate yeah when you said i'm immune now i was like it's almost as if uh i don't know someone like Shadowheart for instance casted Sanctuary on you

you know so that you couldn't be targeted but cause splash damage from other spells yeah splash damage from other spells it's sort of AoE or pushback

you know like you could next turn I will not be able to receive Sanctuary at all for balancing purposes understandable doesn't really make sense within the lore

plus it I mean it implies that her concentration was broken for the five turns that's viable but yeah it's silly why would my wife not happening to her she's gonna be concentrating on me at the very least to bless especially if her equipment gives you bless whenever she heals i don't even mind actually right now it's focused mainly on getting reverberation, but come on. Yeah. I can't see how I'm going to do it. Anyway. It's so, I can't tell you how happy I am that Katie loves that game. Oh, that's awesome.

It is like, it feels also nice to be able to apply what has been some worthless D&D 5e knowledge for the last couple of years. I was thinking, I was thinking about you often about that. I was thinking about me often, dude. Glaze me up much? Jesus, dude. More like glaze me up. Come on. about that. I'm thinking about me often, dude. Glaze me up much? Jesus, dude. More like glaze me up. You know what I'm saying? Two-handed weapon with extra reach.

Yeah. Anastasia, yes, no worries. Yes, I love it. Okay, thank you. I'm loving all those. Nerd loser. Okay, we can do 10-minute Boulder Gate talk. It's like coming out of the ocean dude finally popping the sea water out of my lungs before i wasn't breathing talking about my fucking bullshit life who cares

who cares when i have my second run where i'm indulging in the absolute okay so here's the thing here's the thing here's the thing yeah indulging me absolutely yeah uh so i um all right we can we can start i okay spoiler alert for boulders gate 3 but spoiler alert for you to me so you know where i am i am so as i understand it uh uh i was i was in grim forge I go... Place a lot of people miss. So I was in Grimforge. I think I accidentally beelined there because people were like, how did you get here so fast? And I was like, I don't know.

I like did a fight and the next thing I knew I was in Grimforge. I thought it was part of the critical path because that happened to me too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Did you enter through... What was your route to? I entered through Priestess Guts.

Yeah. Nobody fucking does that. Same thing happened to me. Yeah. Oh my God. Nobody cracks the puzzle. There were so many fun things, though. I'm right pre-act 2, but I'm going to do some other stuff

before I make the leap. Currently, my run, I'm going slow because I've never played the game before, but then also I'm streaming it. There's lots of things that end up extending time on stream, but I'm like 27 hours in. My main player character, my PC, my TAV,

Jarlyn, Jar-apostrophe-L-Y-N. Shout out. Not close to your name. I wanted to do a little bit of player insert me. Why didn't you play as a friggin' loser? Baby loser. As a nerd. Low charisma.

So I'm a half-elf barbarian. That's been fun. The newest fun shit I'm doing is, okay, so I started, I'm doing this thing where I'm trying not to spoil myself too deeply on any story stuff, but still doing a little bit of the like D&D kind of look ahead of like the progression and like figuring out multi-classing stuff for like Baldur's Gate. So I just respect my characters. I'm just level five. So I'm still like pretty early post subclass. That's still a fun. Yeah.

It's like subclass is an option and I'm going to be driving towards now that I've done a little bit more research. I also talked to Maya and make some tune about this loser. I'm going to I think I'm going to multi-class asterion into like a shadow monk. I think that seems like it'll be fun. But right now, I'm kind of going to wait until I can kind of like probably like level six or level seven to like actually do some substantial stuff because right now I'm liking his natural progression,

but I understand it like tapers off. I did reclass him to a thief though because originally he was an arcane trickster and then arcane trickster as much as i love magic missile and i love magic missile oh yeah we've talked about this for years uh i love magic missile um but anyway my my my team my team right now is uh oh yeah anyway so respect respect to stare my team is a starion shadow heart and will perfect um gail too much of a yapper for me the man never shuts up yeah i've been compared to him several times with different people unprompted by them um nice to hear that for no reason uh lazel's cool and all but but dude, I, the night after the celebration after we saved the Grove or whatever in Los Angeles, weird insert.

We must fight for the American. Yeah. I fight for the Americana. I fight for the brand. I fight for Glendale. I fight for Mendocino Farms. Glendale is the equivalent of the Astral Plane. Yeah, oh, true, true, true, true.

Yeah, you meet your guardians. I will ascend. They're at Sweetgreen. I will ascend to an overpriced rent area. I show them my absolute branding at the Sweetgreen to get 10% off. Hey, dude, go into the, the,

the, go into the Americana and you're able to go to that little gin bar for a better price because you have like the head of something. So during that, that I, I wasn't sure who I wanted to romance at first. I was like talking to a stereo in a bit, a stereo and as a character,

people in my twitch chat are alluding to the fact that his story is like justifies that he's a horrible human being uh and that's fine but like every time every time there's like a slave and i go hey don't do that to the slaves and then asterion disapproves and you go okay Asterion I don't know I look one of the miracles of this game and I will focus on just glazing up the production of it because I do

think it's just an incredibly admirable piece of work the it did not need to have great core mechanics and great writing and great pacing and a great story and great quest work the miracle of that game is that it pulls it all off effortlessly there are two underwritten characters and asterion he's really close yeah it's a he has a great story

yeah and it's really interesting but like as the game goes on and even now by no means a story like the theme of the game is how culpable are you or anyone in that world for how you like metabolize abuse

right right right exactly and for you know example Klack as a character i think is very it's very admirable the way that she has yeah carlack is like super upbeat even though they've dealt with and i was like you have mechanic in your heart i've been talking to car like that much and it's like you look you're not you're not responsible for what your natural instinct is and there's i you know i'm of you know it's pretty clear i'm of the perspective that a lot of astarian stuff is performative yeah like uh you know i've done all this dark shit i can't i've got gambler's policy i can't go back in it now

yeah 200 years but at the same time it gets a little so that that uh actor won the game awards doesn't matter but won the game awards award for best performance i think that win no bad performances in the game and his performance is great especially as the story escalates but that feels a little like when everyone was fighting for the, I forget her name, she played the daughter in everything, every role at once. And everyone was like,

why didn't she win best supporting? And it's like, well, because she acted the hardest, like she did the most acting, but it's not about that. What you like is how the character is written. You like the character. And that's not the same thing. Karlak is the best performance in the game that one is full of a ton of nuance

gail for kind of similar reasons to a sarian you know he's not underwritten but there you know there's limitations to what his character can kind of do i think shadowheart's performance really impressive but that's nepotism and she is my wife I'm playing Borat she's my wife I think Astarion is a great character and he has one of the best companion quest lines

but I think you're very valid to be pushing back I think he's very appealing and I think that's why he's like Tumblr famous he's Tumblr coded he's the like he's the Bun been saying i'm just not comfortable even though people were like you can say it i'm like i'm like i don't want to um but but yeah but anyway uh there was like a little bit of shards of romance here and there i let him bite my neck and such but the what was so funny to me is that i i started turning down his advances and so come time for like the grove celebration with the druids and

halston and stuff is that his name yep halston yeah big boy big boy big boy the world's biggest elf 300 pounds heavier than any elf that's ever if goldberg was a zaddy moment yeah he is very zaddy there's literally just a line where you can ask about it and he just goes like hey you know mom i'm him he's like jack where it's like it doesn't make sense you're like how are you proportionate at that size? Well, is he the druid? Yeah. My friend was just telling me at her birthday party that she had like a threesome with someone else and him. And then afterwards he turned into a bear and they all just cuddled on him as a bear.

He is a bear. Imagine doing that. Imagine being some cheeky bastard that did such a thing. I know. I know. He saved before something went wrong. Oh, I see. Okay.

Well, so, okay. So the, so the first night that you can really romance people is after you defeat this goblin camp and save all these Druids and their, um, so what, if that's what you, if that's what you choose and uh the i had never talking to never talking sorry my southern came out for the first time ever you're speaking infernal yeah yeah um i had talked to lazelle zero since the beginning of the game and she goes i want your body she was like i want your body and i'll take it and i was like what the fuck you sound like cell right now i will i will absorb you and it will be perfect and you're like i'm actually good sorry man and she's like

yeah fine you'll be back for my body enjoy your lithicit worm yeah it's so weird i was like i was like jesus but then i did save because i was curious what the interaction would be like and then um and then after so you have sex and then she's like uh all right it's morning it's time to go and and you're like do you want to cuddle or anything like that she's like i'll come back to take more of what's mine when i want to and then i was like do you want to cuddle or anything like that she's like i'll come back to take more of what's mine when i want to and then i was like okay you are fucking at 100 too often i like can't with you okay so this is it's been 10 minutes um actually it's been like an hour and we just recorded a full episode of sad boys nights but we reached the 10 minute limit on

this episode of sad boys so you can head over to our patreon.com sad boys nights to hear us talk for an i don't know jacob was it how long was it it's about an hour and 20 minutes oh yeah about about 80 minutes about boulders gate 3 and dnd and every week there's an extra episode over there no other ones have been about boulders gate yet but maybe they'll only be about that now it's like we're sorry uh we are sorry but we're getting back into the episode shave shave between segments you see the super Oh, the crack of the bat. Nope. Close.

Take me out to the ball game. Still the same sport as which was wrong before, yeah. And there he is, walking up to the mound. Okay. Another game of cricket. Goal for... Okay. So I'm guessing now.

No, which one is it? Do you mean the big game? The big game, yeah. No, i was kind of lightly tracking it i watched all the little ads i'm one of those basic bitches you know that does that i just watch it for the ads i was supposed to go there was a super bowl gathering we were invited to but um me and the old ball and chain uh were uh hung over from boulders gate so we missed it i um about you did you hit the ball i did i i hit the super bowl um with my remote control from my television i sat on my couch and i watched the super bowl you you nfl or not really but not like the NBA not like the NBA uh I do know things about football like I watched football for many years grew up in like a football town so I I'm familiar with the

sport I do enjoy the sport and I was saying that like you wouldn't hear me if I didn't get the mic is uh I mean Atlanta also right so at college yeah in college i went to every like home football game because my dorm was like right next to the right next to the stadium but the thing is i don't don't follow professional football that much i only followed like the college players that i watched like back in the day and now they've all they're no longer in the league most of them except for super bowl kicker for the kansas city chiefs harrison butker who went to georgia tech at the same time as i did and he broke he broke the record for the longest field goal in the super bowl look at you and uh

the georgia tech instagram account posted about how he uh he used to keep spreadsheets and like analyze the the draft and like the angles and stuff of of his kicks with his dad and i was like yeah i love a nerd a whole love a nerd playing sports a sub tab in the sheet like go inside the color sub tab in the sheet sounds sexual sub tab in the sheet full dom tab in the streets dude uh so i okay so the game was very defensive the offense was like not super present for the majority of the game and people were talking about it like it was so boring but i was having so much fun i was enjoying it i was on the edge of my seat i didn't have a dog in the race um you put a pony on it you got a hundred bucks or something no not even i was just i i kind of decided that after seeing a bunch of travis kelsey tiktok shorts and youtube shorts i was like this

guy seems nice and the guy that is uh taylor swift's boyfriend okay yeah that's what they said on the nickelodeon broadcast she she's not his girlfriend okay right i met god she's a woman six three by the way god was or you big lady um so uh but he but travis the only dialogue i ever heard about the game was just people complaining about you know because uh conservatives just learned the word psyop and they're really excited to say that she's doing that is it they're not coming to her that much no uh the entire broadcast she was shown for 53 seconds uh yeah not even a song no she didn't even play a song oh but who did play a song was usher yeah what's that about cool i loved it and ludacris turned up? He did. He showed up for, yeah.

Him and Lil Jon. Also, Jermaine Dupri was there. Wow. Dressed in a very funny outfit. Were they targeting us? I feel that seems like demographically. It's very millennial coded. I was in.

I was into it. I love Usher's music. I grew up with it. Was Rihanna the last year's Super Bowl? Yeah. Okay. Yeah, they're definitely looping us in they definitely got it i guess we are the spending age yeah and it is good

um and uh the game was good the 49ers you know for some reason i never became a 49ers fan even though we were in san francisco for so long they play in Santa Clara. Like, you can't really go to a game. Yeah, it's impossible to get to Santa Clara. It's literally impossible to get there. Especially once you've climatized to San Francisco and you're like, a car. Yeah, what's that? I want to be over there.

But, like, even public transportation, I mean, it's just, yeah, you can't take Caltrain. Does Caltrain? It doesn't go there? Caltrain does Caltrain it doesn't go there so Caltrain's got like yeah like four stops over a thousand miles

or whatever I know it's not in Palo Alto anyway do you remember our co-worker that used to Caltrain in

for three hours in and three hours gone that that rat bastard from Sacramento that's a whole

different job truly he would just do his work on the train oh he's also just a wonderful human being who's helped us out recently um but uh yeah so i enjoyed myself the game at the end got very got very kooky crazy went into overtime who was the favorite um the favorite was actually the 49ers but uh the the opponent of the 49ers was the chiefs and patrick mahomes is like a sort of a the homes and the chiefs it's like a burgeoning um dynasty and so it's one of those like don't count them out type situations because in the clutch like they you know can pull it out and they and they've done they've won a lot of games from behind as

narrative style underdog yeah and that did actually end up happening in a kind of crazy way like um no and then the super bowl overtime rules are like different from or the postseason overtime rules are different from the regular season overtime rules and they're they always are or this yeah and and so i think they always are um but the 49ers didn't prepare for these overtime rules whereas like the chiefs did and so they had a plan for like the coin flip because who gets the ball first who gets possession first like matters i think if i was coaching i would make a plan for the game yeah it's it is weird i and i have barely no football that's just my yeah what do i know right over time for yeah it's weird like not a lot of superbowls go into overtime so whatever i just we plan out the whole game i'm like i'm so tired i don't want

to why are we talking it was fun it was a fun it was a fun watch i was yelling at the screen even though i like don't care i like i became invested like that morning in the game do you think your enthusiasm like for just all athletics has kind of gone up like rising tide with nba yeah a little bit a little bit because a lot of the content creators i follow for n stuff are cross-interested in NFL stuff. And so if there's more content for me to consume, then I'll just slurp it up like a little. I want to start coming over to World of Ice first when I'm watching some NBA games, because getting into the NBA was one of the things I iced when I got really scared about the visa,

because that's such a sad thing to enjoy when I leave anything that I like reminds me so I iced it and now I'm back I'm watching the video I see this again I'll say oh there's uh I mean it's a good time we're about to have the all-star break the um and then and so the all-star game is going to happen it's going to be kooky crazy. They've already, everyone's already chosen. Everyone's already selected. My ass could maybe. You might be able to slide in as an injury reserve. That's anyone that I have to injure myself.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Kick my ass. You should show up in street clothes, but go into the, like, go onto the bench. And then maybe they'll be like, this like a a guy who's here in street clothes he's injured right now and he can't play yeah and they'll try to kick me out ben simmons just on the sidelines i'm injured and i'm like hey you can't kick me out ow my arm it is in indianapolis it is yeah i don't know if right now is like a good time to go to indianapolis jacob just because it's cold is kansas a state look at look up or is it just a city and it's cold. Is Kansas a state? Look up.

Or is it just a city? And is Kansas City in Kansas? You're talking to a... Kansas is confirmed a state. Kansas City is not in Kansas. That's obscene. But it also is in Kansas. Is it near it?

It is. Okay. It's like on the border and so there's two sides? It's in two states. There's two Kansas cities and they're touching's two sides there's two kansas cities and they're touching yeah that's why'd you say it like that okay take it back um so one of the recent developments of um so yeah so we can get you invested in the mvp race which has just gotten

shaken up because the far and ahead favorite for the MVP is now injured for probably the rest of the season in Joel Embiid. And there's a story I want to talk about that's related to this and also mental health. And then so you got the MVP race, you got the back half of the season. You've got teams that really want to make it into the playoffs, teams that really want to make it into the play in tournament to even have a chance to get to the playoffs the the west is incredibly stacked with a bunch of incredible teams and the east is there too i mean like the east is just a little bit more of a foregone conclusion yeah for who's going to make it into the the playoffs like the good teams are good, but the West is just like – there's like 10 teams that are good enough to make the playoffs.

And there's been times in the NBA where things were so close that teams with incredibly good records and good teams didn't even make the playoffs. And so that's why they made the play-in tournament because now there's uh the bottom what is it is the bottom the the sort of two seeds so the playoffs is how many teams uh eight on each conference eight on each but then it's six and six and then the play-in is between the two and two yeah wait no four so the play-in is for the uh seven eight nine and ten seats of each conference yes and so then and then then two

make it um from from each so uh it's like a little pre-playoff playoff and the stakes are high because you want to even get the chance to compete for the championship. So last season, the Lakers had like a middle of the pack regular season, made some trades at the deadline, got their act together for the play in, then made it to the playoffs from the play in and then made it to the NBA finals. So that was a huge storyline. But yeah, this this one, the storylines are still cooking up and i can fill you in on anything and everything it does i'm following so many teams it does feel like the same rule applies that we were talking about earlier like the the lore is really dense and there's a lot of history to find but you just have to enjoy the basics and the team you choose or the thing you're going to pursue and know that you will acclimatize to this other stuff.

Yeah. Like do it a one-on-one course. As I'm getting deeper. Now there's interesting stuff where it's like, you start to learn about like the trade assets that a team has and how, you know, like Oklahoma city thunder is not only a good team in the West this season. They're in the West, right?

Even though Oklahoma's like in the middle of the, okay. That makes sense. Okay, so Oklahoma City, they're a really good team. They're a really young team. And they have an incredible amount of resources in the way of first round picks in the draft. They've got tons of them. Yeah.

What's the, what's the contributing factor to that? Well, so, so every team gets like a number, like gets the same amount of picks in the different, like gets the same amount of picks in the draft and there's the different rounds of the draft, but those assets are tradable. So when you're, so a team like the Clippers, for example, when, and so a team like the clippers for example uh when and so this is like this is the stuff so okay clippers are really good right now very uh old team a lot of like um probably past their prime but still incredibly good superstars who are like mostly from la all playing together in like kind of a last dancey like this is our last chance to like make a run and potentially win.

Oh, all people who've never won a championship. Okay. But have the capacity. Most people have never won a championship except for Kawhi. They have the capacity too and this is like a legacy. They have the capacity too because they're like doing really well. And they've got Tyronn Lue as a coach who's one of the best coaches in the league and also really good at managing like big superstar personalities.

And then you've got a team like Oklahoma City, these teams both in the league and also really good at managing like big superstar personalities um and then you've got a team like oklahoma city these teams both in the west where um they're really young uh they got a they were pretty bad post kevin durant russell westbrook like james harden all leaving all players that are still in the league today, Russell Westbrook and James Harden together again on the Clippers. And another way that these two teams are connected, I'm just trying to give you a storyline of two teams that are doing really well, that have like a deeper connection. So Paul George, so Kawhi Leonard won the 2019 NBA championship with the Toronto Raptors, brought the chip to Toronto, was kind of a hired gun. Hired for one season, won the championship, left. He's from LA, so he wanted to go back to LA.

Ended up signing with the Clippers in a huge deal. Which was a huge upset because everyone thought he was coming to the Lakers to play with LeBron. Exactly. And that would have been actually Cuckoo Bananas insane. Yeah. But then he goes to the Clippers, but he says, hey, if I'm coming to the Clippers, you've got to get my boy Paul George. And Paul George at the time was in Oklahoma City.

Yes. Yeah, because- Google in Oklahoma City. Yes. Yeah, because – Google if Oklahoma's a state. So Paul George came up in Indiana, so Indiana's relevant, was a great player for the Pacers, kind of built a superstar status there, but never really had a lot of postseason success because he was competing with LeBron, and LeBron kind of owned that era and uh he ended up getting traded to there was also an almost trade to the calves that paul george had i found out about it on his podcast but um so he's in oklahoma

city uh clippers trade basically all of their first round picks in this paul george trade so like so like as like as an incentive like not an incentive but like as in as in they don't have the active players on their roster that they're going to trade like the the resources that you can use to trade are like active players cash and oh you can use cash you can use cash to an extent. And draft picks. And so... It's like trading cash, but also stock options. Yeah. And so the Clipper... I don't know the full details on this,

but essentially the Clippers have essentially no draft resources. So they've really just got what they've got because they have... They may be past their prime, but they're for like star players essentially. But then no future outlook for like the new people they're bringing into the draft because they don't have any promising draft picks. Whereas Oklahoma City has like a treasure trove of high draft picks or first round draft picks. So they're resource rich and they're already good. So that means that like based on whatever happens in this season,

in the off season, they could sign another star. They could do whatever they need to like fill, to use those resources to like sort of better themselves for, you know, a decade to come. Cause all their team is like extremely young. I kind of don't understand Oklahoma City's front office's game plan though because they keep doing this thing where they'll sort of get, they'll draft a great player, they'll raise them up, and then they'll trade them.

And they've done this over the past like five years or something to the point where people joke that the 2028 draft is going to be like all Oklahoma City, that they're just going to get every single player in the draft. And part of the reason that they trade is for salary reasons because the way that the salary rules work in the NBA, I can't fully explain it. But essentially, the way they've worked contract-wise recently is that it's really hard to keep your homegrown talent. Because once they get to a certain point, it becomes more and more expensive to keep them.

Because if you develop a player, they're on like their rookie contract or something like that. And once that, once they're up for a, their new contract and they're a star player, they can command a lot of money from other teams around the league. And so then if you want to keep them, you have to match that offer. And it's hard to match that offer for like every one of those homegrown players. It's like a Best Buy hack kind of thing Yeah, and so what happened? This is what happened with James Harden. So James Harden was like an off-the-bench Six man was he six me on the year?

Probably at some point he because for Oklahoma City he was off the bench and then they knew he was really good but they had so much star power and they ended up trading him because of salary reasons because he wanted more money than they were willing to give him. And he was still pretty young. And he was still pretty young. Then he goes to the Rockets and instantly becomes a superstar, like instantly becomes a 25-point-per-game scorer because he was already that player,

but he just wasn't getting the playing time because he was competing with Kevin Durant and Russell Westbrook who were in their primes. And that team, if they had stayed together, because they made the NBA finals really young. Yeah, that was like a really, that playoffs was one that made people hate the Warriors because without getting into too much detail, essentially the Warriors knocked them out of contention for, they knocked them out of the playoffs. Yeah. And then that was in 2015,

Warriors won the championship that year. And everyone felt like the Warriors played dirty there's this one guy who's no longer on the team whose name I can't remember for some reason Zaza Petrulia. Did you forget a name like that right? I feel like if I had guessed, I might have got it. That's like as likely as any D&D name I would come up with. Gleazar Magal. That is a D&D name, actually. Yeah, he's a half-elf. But yeah, he played really dirty and people were really upset about it.

And were like, you hurt our players. Wait, no, sorry. I'm actually thinking of Kawhi with the Spurs. Oh, yeah. But it doesn't matter because people were really mad at the Warriors for knocking. They got a lot of hate because people loved that Oklahoma City team. And then after that. Yeah, they were like America's team because they were super young.

They were super good. And then they broke them Yeah, they were like America's team because they were super young, they were super good. And then they broke him up essentially by trading Russell Westbrook. Excuse me, by trading James Harden. And then Kevin Durant left to go to the Warriors. And that's also what made him... He left after they knocked him out in

2017. It was a later time. But... What's your method of keeping up with the nba news um you just got every group chat there's also twitter i have a twitter list twitter's definitely i i just don't go on twitter anymore valid but it's really from my friends i'm i have a basketball group chat that I'm in that we post news. Do you have anything about restarting the old pod? Oh, sorry.

I just remembered something. So it's a bug. Well, my co-host didn't want to do it anymore, so no. What about it's just Staz, maybe? Just Staz. That's the name of the podcast. It's called Staz Money Moment. It's called Staz Kitball. Just Staz. That's the name of the podcast. It's called Staz Money Moment. It's called Staz Kitball.

Staz Kitball. Come on. I just, okay, there's a new channel that actually is incredible. It does weekly summaries of all of the games that happened that week and the storylines. Wait, go, and they're actually starting to blow up. It's kind of crazy. I watched their first video when they had like 14 000 subscribers and now their most recent videos be getting 1 million views per video it's crazy uh type in goat nba yeah oh so they're like this

goats go talk go theology and so it's like uh if you go to videos like the new it like the newest ones so like if you just click the the NBA just delivered a comedy classic. So it's like a 26 minute video, but then here's how it plays out. That is ridiculously bad. It really is. The NBA just delivered a comedy classic. From players brawling

to sneaky assassination attempts at the refs. This past week was a wildly fun week in the NBA. I hope you brought snacks because the party starts now. So basically this just goes through all the big games and the developments of the week and I've been watching it and then at the end Go to go be into this video. Can we subbed? Maybe like the last 20 seconds

This guy's it has the cringiest outro, but it's it's sweet. If you end up enjoying this video, please subscribe It's free and you can always change your mind Anyways, wherever you are in the world be the goat of that moment stay goated oh that's so we should close this episode stay goated wherever you are in the world um i do have to say jordan like my favorite way of getting well like how i got into the nba is kind of just by picking a player or a couple players and just like really following that player and what they're doing josh hart is a great example because he he was a very young guy on the lakers and he's just like a kind of a silly billy

and there there's compilations of him going to high five someone and them leaving him hanging and him like sadly high fiving himself there's players who are really into anime there's people who've done like who's the guy in the Orlando Magic who has the Pokemon shoes oh yeah

who is it I can't remember Orlando Magic Pokemon Pokemon Shoes There's also guys who like Cole Anthony Who stream Who, you know Have a bigger presence on like social media

And stuff But yeah, I Like for me I feel like I follow One of the most hated teams in the NBA because we were following them before they were, you know, before they had their first championship, which was the Warriors, Golden State Warriors. And so that's the, you know, the hometown team back in, you know, San Francisco.

And it was great when, you know you know before 2015 when they won their first championship you could go to games for so cheap and it was so fun to watch them and like they were just like this young upstart team and they had never won a championship and had years and years and years of being like the worst team in the league. Yeah. And then you get Steph Curry joined the team and it's like, oh my God, this is so exciting. He's so good. And then Klay was drafted. Right. It was like, this is awesome.

And then they won in 2015. And then Kevin Durant joins them in 2017 after they lost to the Cavs. And everyone is like, we hate them. They were basically in like six of the last eight NBA finals or something like that, where like they were just like became like the, the, the dynasty of the NBA. Cause they were just always in the conversation. But now. And that's why people don't like them?

Yeah. Because people are just like, oh, if they're dominating. And then also. Any dynasty gets hate. It doesn't matter. And then, and then also. I got us with the show. Because, because part of it

is because of fairweather fans and like dude they get all these new fans that are annoying that are like oh my guy's better than your guy and they just are insufferable imagine the the worst richest tech bro who is now also a fan of the warriors and he's got like a steph curry jersey on oh hell yeah and it's like he's got step a Steph Curry jersey on. Oh, hell yeah. And it's like, he's got a Steph Curry jersey on. And it's like, I like Steph Curry too, but you're annoying me.

He's talking about how like, uh, the ideology of jujitsu. Like actually if you eat ox meat, it makes your dick so cool. Yeah. And then, um,

and then, so the warriors right now are bad, but like, there's still hope. And I think that's a fun storyline for me to follow because they, probably the best case scenario, can make it to the play-in and then turn it back on. But they didn't make any, the NBA deadline, trade deadline just happened. And all of these teams were like shuffling to move players around because now everyone's locked in. And all they can do is like free agent signings and like buyouts and stuff.

And so the Warriors didn't make any moves in the deadline. And it's like, okay, what's going to happen here? And they know that, you know, Steph Curry is still playing incredible. I mean, Steph Curry just put up a 60-point game against the Rock where it was a loss it was like who is that against i don't remember but like he put up a 60 point game in a loss and then everybody's like they're wasting seth curry's talent because he's 35 turning 36 he's still incredibly good it's like a lebron james situation i always think of seth curry so young yeah he looks so i mean yeah he looks fantastic and i guess when he was rising the prominence yeah he's always looked like eight years younger than he is when he was in college he looked like

a 12 year old but yeah it's like clay thompson who was like steph curry's number two guy and one of the best shooters ever also has been having a terrible year and he's like talking about you know adopting a more limited role on the team potentially and that's like he's got to swallow his pride because he's just like not he's like been zapped with like the the he's lost his juice a little bit but he also like had essentially like a career ending injury that didn't end his career uh a few years back and still played well after he's playing like okay after that crazy he had a few he had good seasons after it but for whatever reason this season like his shots just off and he like used to be a much

better defender and then there's um there's uh the young guys on the team well so there's draymond green who's like one of the most hated players in the in the league but he's even by warriors fans just because he's even by warriors fans because he's like has antics or he like actually like has hit players on the court and stuff and it's like, yo, what are you doing? He also punched one of his teammates and it ruined a season because of like morale was bad. Like he's known for like sticking his fingers in people's eyes on purpose. But he's like –

Badass, dude. He's kind of like a – you you know he's good on the team and he's got a lot of he's got like 12 years of chemistry with like steph curry as like the warriors number five so he's like kind of a necessary thing but he got suspended for 16 games 20 games for kind of like doing this like windmill hit on use of nurkic like he was like turning he was like his jersey was being pulled and he was like whipped his hand around and like hit him it was bad um sounds like he was pretty cool yeah none of says what martial arts is wrong now yeah so he's but he's back and he's playing well um but then uh but then the big the big story

is that there's a 21 year old player who's in his third year in the league and is starting to break out fully jonathan kaminga so he like earlier in the season everybody's like we need to play him more every time he plays he's doing well and then uh the warriors started when draymond got suspended and they started to fiddle around with lineups a lot more rookies got play and also Kaminga started getting major minutes. So now Kaminga is basically the number two on the Warriors. And he has a completely different game than someone like, someone like clay.

Cause instead of being like an outside shooter or like a catch and shoot guy, um, he's driving to the rim. He's like just dunking the ball. He's like extremely athletic. Um, he's from, uh, he's like just dunking the ball he's like extremely athletic um he's from uh he's congolese so the philadelphia 76ers um who have the had the leading mvp candidate on their team it was recently injured but one of the younger players on the team recently became like, has sort of taken the superstar jump or at least the star jump, Tyrese Maxey.

And so this is like him meeting a fan. And he seems super sweet. And this is a super sweet interaction. Yeah! All right. Very cute and wholesome. Now, Sixers posted this. Who's cutting onions? So just to clarify, though, the fans crying. The fans crying.

And he kind of comforts him. And he comforts him and it's a sweet moment and people's reactions are very i'm sure reasonable and this is where we get into like this like hyper masculinity that is in sports circles a lot i get it but i ain't having my son crying over another man women do better women do better that's crazy that's why the uh boeing plane had such an issue is because it's too diverse the right exactly please surround our young black men with healthy choices from family to communities it sounds like he's surrounded by healthy like he's experiencing his emotions he's not bottling them up there's nothing wrong with look why is i mean

are they just operating on like can you view more can you oh how do we can you if a strong dad was around then couldn't be my son what are you out here crying no i'd be the ones crying like this that can't control their emotions there's a difference between control controlling your emotions is such a suppressing dark dark type of phrasing i feel like control usually means don't show it to me it's it's it's like a this really miserable self-fulfilling prophecy right where it's like if you can't control your emotions then you'll cry in public and you're like right and what's the bad thing that happens at the end of that is like yeah you look like a pussy and then like and what is the thing that like why are we doing this dance what's it for and the truth is that it's like

it's deliberately obscure so that we obey that kind of behavior and don't think too critically about it i'm like this guy's gonna like like maxi's young like maxi's probably gonna be in the league another 10 years you know in some capacity probably. And this kid's going to get to like have that experience as he goes through his, you know, formative years of his life. And I think that's so special. Yeah. And honestly, it's overwhelming when you're a huge fan of someone and then you meet them and like.

Yeah, it's a different kind of crying. Yeah. Even the kind that if if you for whatever reason are willing to subscribe to traditional performance masculinity which you're really just doing for the for the boys but you know you can say it's some kind of like an objective bravery or whatever yeah very brave to not do something uh it's just something else this is like uh getting angry in defense of the people you care about versus getting angry from road rage it's they're both angry but one is pathetic and like having a lack

of patience and self-awareness and the other is like has something productive to it right but yelling at somebody on the road doesn't mean anything and crying for being overwhelmed is like i don't know what what if what if he was crying and like saluting the flag? Or if he was patriotic enough. Yeah. Or like he's watching like a presidential speech. Is he allowed to then get over emotional or intent? All those clips are like people crying while they storm the Capitol.

People are like, that was a patriot. And he's like holding up his little brother so he can see. I'm like, it's just so sweet. It's so sweet. This is like so what it's all about. And the fact that people are like trying to find an issue with it is like annoying. It's just gambler's fallacy, man. It's like if you spend your whole life not like, I mean, don't get me wrong.

These people do cry and they are like emotionally fraught because that who else would leave comments like this but it's living with that kind of insecurity and performing this kind of bullshit for 20 30 40 years whatever you cannot go back and say god i wasted 40 years pretending that i was okay you just have to keep it going to the grave like people just don't want to look back on they don't grow and change because then you have to accept that you're never done yeah you're never ready it's just like this made me smile okay great from sinistar 22 that's awesome i mean but anyway this was this was sweet and i just think maxi's a cool dude he's super positive he's always got a smile on his face. Okay, so I wanted to revisit a trend that I know is familiar to you and well-loved by you.

I'm a trendy guy. What can I say? Which is the soulmate trend on TikTok. Can I just say I recognize a name? Yeah, this creator is the creatormate trend on TikTok. Can I just say I recognize a name? Yeah. This creator is the creator we talked about before. This creator is the lifeblood of my channel, too. Yeah.

This is the soulmate trend. Some of the only good videos. And I mean, it is Valentine's Day today. It's Brianna. Brianna, welcome back to the Sourboy Shams Bay year-ish. When did we meet we eight months ago yeah hell yeah okay class it's time to complete the assignment in front of you you may work in small groups britney britney what is it i was sleeping my soulmate is in this classroom no way cover your

ear and listen closely see if you can find any hints where he might be good idea why would covering your ear give you hints? That's true. I mean, is she just hearing it all the time but she needs to, like, isolate?

Yeah. Is it telepathic ear? Is that what's happening? Right. What is soulmate's ear? I know, they're treating it like culturally established language.

You know, soulmate's ear. Yeah. I hear a gum wrapper. The ear is telling her Devil on her shoulder Okay, there's a soul mate in the room Hearing voices I should kill everyone in the world use it. No. No. no. Well, if that means I find my soulmate.

That's true. What if I was a killer? B, good idea. Here, a gum wrapper. No, no, it's paper moving. Well, any idea who it might be? This makes it look like she's on a corporate. She's got her Bluetooth.

The eagle has landed. The eagle has landed and there's a gum wrapper. My boyfriend is under the building. Also, how big big is this class look for a guy moving around yeah why are they why could britney not hear her when she first yelled britney britney look for the uh the guy in the class is going oh jesus yeah someone's yelling oh god someone's jacking off. No, it's not a foot. It's not a foot tapping.

I'm looking for my gooning soulmate. Sorry. Canadian? What stop tapping your foot? Brianna, don't disrupt my class again. Sorry, sir. Sorry. Sorry. Canadian. What is this, dude? That's like, you know, you think you're talking to somebody normal. You find out with one simple word.

You think you know someone these days, huh? Just kidding. And then all of a sudden they're like, ooh, hey, guys, it's me, Curtis. Hey, I got a little bit of stand-up for you. Oh, sorry, guys. Sorry, guys. Did I make a commentary video? Sorry. So I'm going to go up here and talk. I got a little bit of stand-up for you. Sorry, guys. Sorry, guys. Did I make a commentary video? So I'm going to go up here and talk a dukes a little bit of stand-up.

Shut the fuck up. Sorry, Jesus. What the fuck is going on? Soulmate's ear is just a soundboard. Yeah, dude, it's a... It's a soundboard of a bunch of esoteric sound. Heavily compressed MP3 soundboard effects. Smack. In mono.

I'm sorry. Watch where you're going. Brittany? Brittany! Brianna, wait. I don't know if you know me, but... I don't know you. I can't find her.

That was her soulmate. Yeah, I mean... Wait, is she here in Brianna's? Brianna, wait. I can't find her. That was her soulmate. Yeah, I mean. Wait, is she here in Brianna's? Brianna, wait. I don't know if you know me, but. This moves at such a breakneck pace. I know.

I feel like we spent most of this past minute, most of this TikTok in the classroom listening to sounds, and we actually meet the soulmate for two seconds. Immediately in person. And then we flash soulmate for two seconds immediately and then we flash back to that two seconds four seconds later this is it's some dragon ball pacing on that one like we move really quick through something and then we get to the fight it was like gogo i think he's vulnerable at this state five minutes like then he has conversation he was like i think he's vulnerable in that state flashing back goku i think he's vulnerable but it's like cps so yeah yeah it's like oh this happened in the past clearly i remember when i was over there yeah they did just put a like a dream a dreamscape like backdrop

behind it he was my soulmate he still is i would imagine yeah and now you forced him to transfer schools because you said stop talking to me there is something weird i there's just something fascinating to me that it is it for obvious reasons for demographic reasons if nothing else it's always it's often in school like you know yeah because it's the most relatable place for the audience people and and in some respect everyone and it's also like you know it's a time when people are maybe seeking a soulmate and also are like a little maybe innocent about some topics. And also it's like YA novel ideas a lot of the time.

It's weird how many things are going on at a day at school where you've got to be places. It's a school. You got to, you know, go to the classes or whatever. Maybe it's a one room schoolhouse. Yeah. I guess it's huge because you couldn't find a soulmate while he was jacking up. Who's tapping? Hold on.

Let me cover my ear so I can hear. Someone is not making, my soulmate doesn't seem to be making any noise. If I can find the person that's completely quiet. Yeah, if I can find someone who, I'm insane by the way, if I can find the person I'm thinking of, let's say part three. Yeah, there's so many of these specific ones.

A lot of people thought it was a teacher, I wonder why. Well, maybe it's because it's called soulmates here and the first person to speak was the teacher. And they sound the same. And it's it's because it's called Soulmates here, and the first person to speak was the teacher. And they sound the same. And it's all the same person's voice. They should do the voice. I mean, the pretty was great.

That's my soulmate. Pay attention. It's me. It's me. Jai for Jai for. This one kind of explains more of the lore. Oh, good. Yeah.

This is a explained, ending explained video. Oh, yeah this is uh this is a explained ending explained video because this is now you're age seven so before you were age 17 speaking of breakneck breakneck pace a lot of the time it is from birth a lot of these videos are from it's very much like it feel i guess this is a young adult trope but it's very much like harry potter it's like at this very young age you were fate yeah fate has called you to this this unique ability there's usually some weird tragedy and it's always then followed up by a classmate being like hey did you know you could do this yeah you're like oh yeah you're a soulmate here in a world where everyone has a soulmate here 10 years after i got it someone reminded me to put my finger over it i do just

want an edit of the soulmate here where it's just a bunch of random. It's like a jackhammer. Okay, it must be a construction site. No, he's listening to Dave Chappelle's stand-up special. What's up with gender? Nope, nope, I don't like that. That's my soulmate? Really?

Let me try the other ear. I love Joe Rogan. Oh, no. Really connecting. Good point about those guys. We both know who I'm talking about. Oh, yeah. Oh, my racist soulmate.

I'm so sleepy. Mama, may I have cookies? Suppose, suppose, suppose. Oh, my goodness. It's a soulmate of two years old. Mama. Mama, may I have cookie? I'm so sleepy. Mama. Mama, cookie?

Oh, man, that's crazy. That's crazy. Please. Please. Mama. Cookie. What do I do? The Cookie Monster?

Yeah, he's really young. He's a really young Cookie Monster. Her soulmate. Please. I like that it's like a pause on pause. Yeah. It's not like a constant stream. It's like when you put it on, you hear more of it.

That is into a conch shell here in the ocean. Mama. Mama. Can I have cookie? What is the mama answering? It's like a Pokemon. Just come. Mama.

Pokemon. Mama. I'm just obsessed with that. Cookie Mama It comes in so processed Like I don't even know how they created that voice It's kind of cool Can we do it one more time for a good measure I'm so sleepy Mama

Oh my god dude It's so It's so intense. Oh, so you gotta warn you. That's the other trope of all of these, is they always... There's like a universal thing. And it's like if you have a seven-year-old pigeon. They're like, you got wings, by the way.

You got... Oh, soulmates here. I should have fucking... I completely forgot to mention. You'll hear voices. Cookie? Please? Okay. Bye. I should've fucking I completely forgot to mention you'll hear voices That's because you've one of your soul mates ears you have your soul mates right ear and they have your left ear So whenever you cover your left ear, you can hear whatever your soul mates hearing in that moment Wait, why what determines the left you you and your soul mate have swapped ears what are the rules as far as all does it had her on or even the

girl has the right ear and the boys I mean I don't know that much ears are ears are pretty important in balance you know like you have to find your soul mate for equilibrium yeah like literally's going to be a problem. Do you switch ears back? Oh, like... Yeah. Also, we don't even have to get into it, but I'm just going to assume it's like the inner ear

and not like the external ear. Oh, it's like turned around. It's got it. Otherwise, there's no way... It's a different race. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. That's exactly what I'm saying, yeah. I mean, I guess they could not be the same.

Seven-year-olds don't say it. Seven-year-olds don't say it. It also is funny because you know when you hit play on audio and you hear the white noise, the room tone in that room? That's kind of what I hear. I guess I don't know what they're recording it with in his ear. Right. The chip.

It sounds like a Tickle Me Elmo gone rogue. Yeah, they put it on the back. Yeah. The only ass superstar. Get me off. Tickle me. Can I have cookie? I'm stitched, man.

I want family and cookie. Mama, I can't die, but I can feel pain. Mama. I don't like this toy. Mama. Sorry, I'm... This is going to... Someone's going to hate this.

Everyone probably is going to hate this. So you're saying my soulmate can hear everything that I hear? Yeah. Off to school. Was it Ariana Grande? Yeah. Yeah. Wait.

Yeah. My soulmate can hear everything I hear. Because that's not... Because all you're touching the hear? Because that's not... Because you're touching the ear. But that's not what she was... That was everything he was saying. Unless he's a mother and that was a little kid.

Well, you know how you can hear yourself inside of your own head. Right. Maybe that's what it is. But you didn't hear the mother going like, why do you sound like that? Stop it. You're scaring me. Why are you an infant?

You're right. They then could just talk to each other like walkie-talkies. Yeah, why don't you just go like, hey, are you cringing paper? Are you dragging on? Yeah, wait. I mean, like, also, this lightly implies that your soulmate's the same age as you.

Hopefully. I mean, this scenario. Yeah, but, like, the mama doesn't inspire confidence. What? I wonder what my soulmate's up to. What's your soulmate up to this morning? That is the first. Jacob,

search fart SFX and see if it is the first one. That is such a classic. We've done this before, yeah. It's gotta be. The gaming sound effect. Yeah That's a good one though, I will say no no go on YouTube and search fart sound effect I kind of think it's the reverb part Recommended dry Oh dude, the recommended dry one. This is nasty dude.

That would have been so much better. She's blown back by it. That was it right? I don't think that was it. I don't think it's... What? Go back! It started with the thx yeah i don't know okay okay wait can we just I don't want to watch this video. Can you scroll up?

All... Wait, scroll down a little bit. All fart sounds. Wet, dry, quick. Brr. Brr. Brr. All quick occur.

TikTok wet fart sound effect. I don't know what that is. Oh, that's it. That one fart effect people have been searching for. Wait. That actually might have been it. That's an insane title. Wait. We have been searching.

I wonder what my soulmate's up to. Yeah! They titled it that one fart sound effect people have been searching for. Jarvis and Jordan. It's me from the future Go ahead hit that download link Go ahead pull that What?

That is strange That's cool Wow Easy Yeah why have we been searching for that one How many patrons are going to And finish the show Yeah, why have we been searching for that one? How many patrons are gonna... That's who this morning. I don't know.

Bree, I just heard my soulmate talking to his girlfriend. That is so messed up. Why wouldn't he wait for you? What about you? What's your soulmate been up to today? Let's see. Give me your lunch money, dude. Oh, wait.

I was really hoping he was still farting. Yeah. Where in class is he? He's doing the cinematic one. Reptile. Also, hold on. Give me your lunch money, kid. He's 17 years old.

Yeah, he's cool. What we think. Give me your lunch money, kid. No, no, please. Don't take my lunch money. Ha, ha, no, please. Don't take my lunch money. Ha, ha, ha, ha. Loser. I hear Jake's voice.

He's stealing someone's lunch money. Maybe my soulmate's Jake. Or it could be the guy he's stealing the lunch money from. I think, honestly, compelling, compelling. I will say, though, because I watch a lot of these,

that often the follow-up one is not the follow-up to it. Right, they don't actually continue it. It's like, oh, maybe he's the bully. And then you never get the resolution on it. I'm like, hey, I found my soulmate. He doesn't fart at all. Oh.

Oh, come into mama, may I have cookie? Please, can I cookie? Can I cookie? What are you doing here? My soul mates in this classroom? But I gotta go it is way too hot in here. Ah Oh my gosh, it's finally cooling down It's so nice and cool over here bestie says you I've been freezing all morning What's that even you're're cold burr burr i'm cold did you find your soulmate no i found it was class for my soulmate thing but i couldn't get

close i started overheating how am i supposed to find my soulmate if it gets unbearably hot every time we get close oh i think you just don't date them yeah i think that is a that it sounds like you can't who Who's saying that's your soulmate? It sounds like maybe just an enemy. It sounds like it's a heater. I found my soulmate. It's in my room in the corner. It gets

unbearably hot when I get close. He's always crackling. Oh, I want to get close to you, but I'm just so hot. Oh, dude, my mom was cooking a, and every time I go near the oven, my soulmate is there, I guess. Is she playing a moth? I am in love with that.

He's fabric. I'm in love with this coat. There's just like a light outside of a door. I have to go to you, but it is so hot. Only at first. You two need to introduce yourselves to each other. Once you introduce yourselves to each other, the temperature will become perfect.

Okay. Why does no one tell me these things? That is a really good question. Really? It's other students. It seems like everyone else knows all of the rules. I know. It's actually, it is like exposition from like a bad sci-fi movie yeah well it's just like wait what are we doing here again he's like well we live in a

society where we have this hunger games thing it's like you're about to you're like sitting at the fishing spot in the video game and you go how do i do it it's like have you tried pressing B? This is going to sound insane. How do I work at my farm? How do I do farming at my farm that I've had for a long time? I feel like I've just been dropped into my farm that everything has been set up for me, and I just don't know how to operate. I've got all my overalls. How do I romance this neighbor? Allow me to provide an overlay that explains the various mechanics what are those uh like like in

metal gear or the automatic girls or whatever where it's like riding if you use r2 you'll be able to look across the wall remember to lock in with r2 don't remember don't forget you'll be dropped in with no weapons but your inventory is available without don't forget to hide under a box like the game remember the game. Remember the game? Snake did that in one of them. Oh, all of them, actually. Actually, yeah, it's kind of a whole thing. Oh, sorry, I'm drunk.

I don't know. Otacon out. I got somewhere to be, man. Hear it drop. Otacon, is that you? Mama. Sorry, wrong channel. I think you're my soulmate.

It's getting hotter in here. I'm boiling hot. You're so hot. It's getting so cold all of a sudden. Is your soulmate still breathing? If he's not alive, you'll freeze to death. Did she kick him? In this universe, kick him.

What is... Was it she slapped him with her foot? Wait, go back to that sound effect. Where did he die? The heat? He's not breathing. If he's not alive, you'll freeze to death. Wake up!

Ow. Hurry, hurry. You hear the clip after the ow sound? Ow. Wait, listen to that. Wake up! Ow. Hurry, listen to that. Wake up! Ow! Ow!

Ow! Ow! Um, wait, so, so she introduced him, she introduced herself to him, and then he spontaneously died. Was it from the heat? They said the temperature would get perfect once they introduced themselves, but... I meant they die and then you freeze to death I fix it. Why does nobody tell me this?

Like a car that won't start oh cool okay maybe we'll find out in the next part because it'll be just like a new premise again oh it's part three yeah this was part two and this is this is part three okay i'm excited it always seems yeah it's always like part two what could that what could part one possibly be that was like it part two is where she found out what it was they have to optimize for the for the, this actually continues. But they have to optimize for the algorithm. Yeah. But also she deleted part one. I couldn't find it.

So I don't know why. It's racist. Whenever you're near your black soul, Nate. It seems unnecessary. Hi, my name is Brianna. Hello? Hello? I'm still freezing.

That's because he also needs to introduce himself to you. Kick him again. Breathing? He's breathing, but he's not responding. Call an ambulance. He needs to go to a hospital now. Yeah. Whoa.

Well, doctor, is my son going to be okay? It's not looking good right now. It appears he's had a heart attack. He had a heart. It wasn't even the heat. He was so surprised by it. It appears she's... It sounds... She's not a child, but for some reason it sounds like a kid impersonating a dog. Yeah, two kids in a lab coat being a doctor.

I'm your doctor. Also, I don't think doctors generally are that, like, kind of laissez-faire. Is he gonna be okay? He's like, he has a fucking heart attack, doesn't he? It's not looking good right now. I mean, look. Is he gonna be- he's, like, shouting good right now. He's like shouting from the OR. That's like...

What is it? Is it... Dead. They're dead this time. How's my soulmate looking? Sorry, only family is allowed back here. Is he supposed to be doing that? And he's just like clearly awake and he's fine. He's on his Gameboy. There's a machine that's keeping him alive.

Tell her I had a heart attack she's too warm dude at what point do you think she grabbed that jacket on the way to the hospital oh yeah she left him i guess you've got to have it around if you're like you don't know where your soulmate's gonna be she went to uh she went to address for us and left him on the ground while she was picking out a nice parka it appears he's had a heart attack no he must have had a heart attack. No, he must have had a heart attack when he saw me because I'm so beautiful. Respect. No, he has a history of- No, definitely not.

We aren't sure what happened to him, but I can guarantee that's not it. I'm gonna be honest, huge swing to say to the doctor. Devastating. He must have had a heart attack because I'm so beautiful. No. Now bear in mind, I'm grieving, so maybe be nice to me. No, he has a history of heart problems. No, yuck.

He would never think that. That's so mean. Ew, mid. Problems. Please wake up. I want to meet you. I have some unfortunate news. We believe this man may be brain dead.

Holy shit. He won't be able to communicate, and his organs will start to fail. No, doctor. If he goes, I'm going to freeze. I'm selfish. We are 100% sure, but we're going to run some tests to confirm it. Well, yeah. You should definitely do some tests.

I'm really sorry. This doctor, by the way, is drunk. It's like, oh, I'm not a doctor. Sorry, I was just wearing a white t-shirt. No, sorry. Sometimes I get it. I like to role play, so I get really into it. This guy really feels like he's brain dead.

Oh, he's asleep. We're going to do some tests. Shake him. He's asleep over here. No, we don't know for sure, but to scare you, I will say that he has no chance of recovering. We did do the tests, and you're busted. It wasn't because you're beautiful.

Yeah. It was the only thing we know for sure. Run some tests to confirm it. Please introduce yourself to me. I'm going to freeze. He's gonna die. Hi, I'm Timmy. I love you.

Doctor, doctor, he's responding. I'm Timmy. I love you. Is he still a baby? I'm Timmy. Mama, I love you. I'm dying. At least he gave her, in his dying wish, normal temperatures.

Yeah, that's true. She totalized and then it was just immediately. He saw her again. She was too beautiful. Kill him. I love that. I love the doctor. She extended her hand for the handshake.

He's like IV'd up. He's probably connected to so much shit. He's pulling out all the machines. Shake my hand. Shake my hand. I'm going to freeze. What was your name, dude? He's definitely not brain dead then, right?

No, but then he's dead dead. But then he regular. Shake my hand. I'm going to freeze. What's your name, dude? He's definitely not brain dead then, right? No, but then he's dead dead. Yeah. Ugh, rats. But then he regular... He full died. That doctor was very wrong. Yeah. I'm telling you, no license can be wasted.

Medical malpractice lawsuit incoming. I love the idea of just introducing with what the condition could be. He could be brain dead. Soulmate sense of taste. So this is Giselle. This is a different person. This sounds familiar. Yeah, yeah. They, I... Please don't. Oh, I love this.

Her videos are significantly louder. How does Jacob have a way of sounding mean when he says something so matter of fact? It's just true. It's just true. Wrecked. Yeah, yeah destroyed they deleted the account i uh i i will say of all the tiktok trends that are fun to kind of riff on please do turn it down though because we will die i i every joke i feel for these ones it totally comes from love i think

that's so cool oh yeah i think it's really neat that these can exist and i like this really low lift it's just fun to play in their world it's just so bizarre it's like if uh every single idea you had for a movie released it just like came out and be like wow 99 of these are deranged no it's it's just fun to play around it is cool who cares i mean she's uh great as well i haven't seen as many of giselle. Is it Giselle? Please don't be taste anything but taste Taste really Oh soulmate sense She got a taste some I do love that these all live in a universe where like the tick-tock caption The sorting out from Harry Potter, but it's just text floating backwards in front of you What is it?

Etsat? Yeah, yeah. Etsat. Etsat. Oh, wait, no, it's backwards. I have to go on Etsat, this boy. Good morning, Mom. I made breakfast, hon.

You want some? Sure, sounds great. I'll go grab your plate. Wait, let's try that. Good morning, Mom. Hey, honey. Sure sounds great. I'll grab you a plate.

Just give me one second, please. Thanks, Mom. I love you. Yeah, thanks. I like you. Yeah, thanks. I like you. Can I have cookie? That's not even... It's not an age. There's no age.

It's not like that. It is a new creature. May I have bones and flesh? Can I have cookie? May I have the bones of an Englishman? Please, can I have a cookie? Dobby wants a cookie. Free fire.

Was that Necklace necklace say giselle yeah that's hard that's actually really cool what if i start wearing something like says giselle i get a necklace that says giselle yeah i would think that you misspelled giselle i love giselle you love giselle i want to remember wanna remember how to spell it. Yeah, with a J. Or it's Jordan plus gazelle forever. And I have taste tattooed on my forehead backwards. Tasty. Wait, what's bad? Taste is bad for a soulmate scent. Smell, sight is really good.

Hold on, hold on, hold on. What the fuck is a soulmate scent? I think it's the way you find out if they are one. Yeah, you have to taste things. Oh, unless she tastes whatever they're eating. This could be an ear. Oh, okay. It's a hornier option is the type that I can help with. Okay, good, good. Is bro drinking straight up milk?

Psycho. I'm not ready for her to talk like this considering the other character. Can someone go and get their mans? Yeah, whose mans? Mandem drinking milk? Whose mans is straight up drinking milk? R.N.

Brother's sipping milk for real, for real. Fam sipping on for real for real. Here you go, hon. Fam sipping on that cow juice? That cow pack. Smoking on that cow pack. Smoking on that cow pack. Juice mode. Wait, what sight?

Is one of your eyes just... I would throw up. Is bro looking at a cow right now? Bro in a farm at this moment? Is bro straight up looking at milk? Which is what would happen if you were drinking milk. Yeah, I guess. Almost all of them.

Am I listening to milk right now being drank by bro? By bro? Bro drinking milk right now. Why is it such a judgmental tone? That's like not that crazy of a thing to be having. Yeah, if he's having cereal. Yeah, bro drinking. You're just like.

Is bro drinking milk right now? It is better. I mean, it's maybe still the worst one. The smell bad though. Because you're almost always. I'd say more often when you are tasting something, it's intended to taste nice than the average smell in the world. Mm-hmm.

Here you go, hon. Oh, no thanks, mom. Lost my appetite. Oh, because of milk. I'm lactose intolerant. How's your soulmate sense going? Not too bad, actually. He's eating pineapple on pizza?

That's disgusting. It is very funny to go. Is this guy always eating? What the hell? Yeah, most of the time I feel like, let's see, maybe a few hours ago he might have had a snack. Is the mad lad breader be eating pizza right now?

Somebody come get your man, Dan. Go off, King? Homie's eating Hawaiian style? Ooh. I'm just gonna eat it. Tastes like he's eating tuna. I was hungry.

Really salty and expired tuna. Oh, this better not be. Is this motherfucker a gourmet? Yeah. What is happening? The most defined palate of all time. What is that, a Pinot Noir 1991? Interesting.

Tuna. Fat content looks like about 30%. Is it calorific? It's kind of cool. He's having a sushi, nigiri, lean tuna. Okay, so his taste isn't too great. And this, ooh, sweet fin. Ooh, blue fin.

What is... This better not be. Mr. Bates, can I please go to the washroom? It's an emergency. Go ahead. Thanks. Not Canadian so far, that's good. It is funny that even in the context of this TikTok, she doesn't fully lose frame.

She goes, Mr. Bates. Wait, which camera are we going to look at? Mr. Bates, can I go to the restroom, please? Like, what's this? I hope it's farting. Go to the washroom. It's an emergency. Go ahead.

Thanks. Meow. It left a frame of her paws on the shoulder. She forgot where it was. Jessica, Caleb, what are you guys doing in the washroom together? She enunciates in a fun way. I think she is not a native English speaker. Really?

No. I've watched many of her TikToks because I just think they're so ridiculous and funny um and she like has less of an accent now than she did and when she first started you can see how dangerous your sulfate is let's go from one to ten when they did that for us it'd be 10 be 11 even yeah well i mean if i would be a 12 actually oh yeah okay. I might be a 13. I don't know any more ones. Do I have a weapon? Because if so... I've got a leather jacket and a speedy moped.

I've got like a really strong brother. I've got like a motorized scooter, but not like a lime scooter like in the city. I bought my own. I have a truck. I don't have any fuel right now, but I've got work later and then I'm going to refuel and I'm going to hit you with a truck. I don't have any fuel right now, but I've got work later, and then I'm going to refuel, and I'm going to hit you with a truck. Yeah, and did I mention that my jacket is leather, but it's pleather. It's not real leather.

Mine's real leather. I was looking at a cow. Is this guy wearing a cow? Is bro tanning a hide right now? For some reason, it's just a farmer. It's a weird criticism for him. Please be a good guy. Please be a good guy. Please be a good guy.

My soulmate's danger level is a three. When do you get, when do you get, like, cause this person's a fully developed human. Do they turn a certain age and then they like, it's like finding out what school you got into. We go to a website and it's like,

we're going to tell you your soulmate's danger level. We are pleased to inform you that your soulmate is not a serial killer yeah that's awesome i usually i mean with uh my friend brianna it's usually 17 is when it is like okay hi what is that that's like second or last year how high school's 2018 yeah you could i mean some people graduate younger but yeah oh is the oh but a lot of the time with rihanna ones it's you know she's wearing pigtails it's like i'm seven mommy could cook him she puts the age on the screen she's three people to guess what mama what age that was this goes three danger level what's

three out of ten what do you think that is relative? That's like a normal person. The average person does not have a high danger level. Ten's murder, right? Ten's murderer. Ten's, yeah. Or you're like one of those parkour people who jumps on the top of buildings. Dude, you're a Russian ready to die. One of those Polish guys with a GoPro is doing spins on a 300 story.

That raises a good question. Dangerous to whom? Ooh, true. The society. Dangerous to yourself, to society. Because that free solo guy is dangerous to yourself. Alex Arnold is a dead, I guess. Yeah, I'm dangerous to your sensibilities.

I pop the collar of my leather coat. It tears off. I shouldn't have made this myself. I kick off my scooter. I realize I forgot your sensibilities. I pop the collar of my leather coat. It tears off. I shouldn't have made this myself. I kick off my scooter. I realize I forgot to charge it. Fuck. I walk back to the garage and plug it in. My skateboard.

I stumble on the skateboard. So I sit on it. So I can be stable. I'd say just you wait as I put on my shoulder pads and my elbow pads. See you around, babe. And I order an Uber. Yeah. And I go like, oh, fuck. Sorry. No, I go, this one's mine. on my shoulder pads and my elbow pads see you around babe and i order an uber yeah i'm like oh fuck sorry no i go this this one's mine i get in and they go not the right car and then i get

out and i go drive anyway just drive please just drive please just make me take the end of the block please this is not good why didn't she say she didn't want danger yeah please be a good guy well three is sore three is yeah i guess I guess you want a little bit of danger. I want to. Yeah, where's the whole math guy out? We got to look at. We got to look at the charts and see like what danger levels are good. I drew some very pretty right angles.

Here you can see on my matrix. A danger level of three means you are not desirable. Hey, mom. What's your soulmate's danger level it better be zero yeah of course it's a zero why why is it it's like not something she's in can choose i get yeah i mean what's your dominant hand it better be right well i mean the bright is better than oh shut up oh come on okay you're a. You don't know how badass I am. I almost wore a leather jacket.

Too heavy. I use... Yeah, yeah. Too heavy. Too heavy. Zero. Good. You know what would have happened to you if it wasn't?

No, I don't. We don't allow troublemakers into our family. Yeah, I know. Wait, is this the mob? It's the opposite of the mob. It's like... We don't allow no... We don't allow any troublemakers.

It's the mob, but for good, guys. No misdemeanors, no misdemeanors. Nobody meaner than miss is my wife. But no crimes. If you so much as cheated on a test or drank in a spoiled glass of milk, we don't want you over here. Or eaten any kind of suggestive meals. You know what I'm saying?

No suggestive meals. No pineapple pizza. If you're too cheeky, you don't get to join the Sweetlianos. Yeah, if you're too cheeky, no speaky to use. Oh, motherfucker,

small beans. I'm a small, we're a family of small, we're an organized, what's the opposite of crime? We're organized. We're an organized family. We got a char wheel over here yeah who's taking out the trash this week it's vinny oh but he's willing to he's willing to looking at putting

on his helmet before he gets on his bike you don't care that it compromises his haircut hey he's got a little pomade in his bag to get him right when he gets to his destination he's still they look exactly like mom guys that's actually cultural appropriation yeah that's true that's true unless you have been in the got a call from your italian unless you're. My soulmate's danger level is a three. Now it's a four. Why are you so worried about that? My soulmates don't allow troublemakers in our family.

My soulmates, I think she meant. If my soulmate was dangerous, they'd get rid of me too. Why is the number going up? Because he's doing more and more dangerous stuff. He's riding his bike without a helmet. Not putting pomade in his hair. Crossing the street without looking both ways. Eating pineapple on pizza, drinking milk.

Skydiving. I need to find him and figure out why he's so dangerous. It's Ben Shapiro. He's getting so cheap. I'm so dangerous because I'm what the left doesn't like. I've been giving something really bad inside my little briefcase that I take to school. I'm writing hot bars that are going to be number one on iTunes. I've been doing my homework late, but only the homework I assign myself.

Class, welcome our new student, Zach. Wow, he's kind of cute. I heard he's a bad guy. He's been expelled from three schools. That's a seven out of ten. A seven out of ten expelled from three schools? He's like a difficult student. That takes a lot of time.

A seven out of ten is like a couple of that takes a lot of time a seven out of ten is like a couple of war crimes do you know what ten is like yeah three points down from that one start building your soulmate no yes no part six they yes. I finally get to build my soulmate. Yes. Cool. Oh. It's over? Yeah, all right.

Oh, there's a premium currency. Oh, it's like a microtransaction. Also, the green eyes cost money, but the brown eyes don't? Yeah, because brown eyes are default. That's right. It's a DLC. It doesn't even have... It doesn't have enough... To be blonde hair, blue eyed, you need to pay a premium.

You have to either reach Super Saiyan or be a Yeah, those are the only options. Yeah. So she's coping when she says I don't like blue eyes anyway because she's like I only have 50 gold. 50 diamonds. Be serious or be funny. 10 bucks for be funny.

Yeah, I think I would take this. I would take that take that no i'm serious as hell and i'm badass and i'm at 11 out of 10 badness i love that you're just like going about your life and then you get like a push notification for like choosing your soul mate quiz you're getting amber alert for race blonde race. Okay, blonde hair is free. Blonde hair is free. I take it back. Dude, blue eyes, brown hair kind of hits. I love dark hair. Choose brown hair. 35 smacaroonies. Smacaroonies.

What's left? Height? Be a slob. 40 for beanie. It is tough. I guess my soulmate's going to be a slob because I don't have enough gems. I was going to say me not being able to catchlob because I don't have enough gems. I was gonna say me not being able to

catch a Pokemon because I don't have enough Pokeballs. Oh, she's fine with that. For zero gems, be rich or be poor. Be humble, dude. I mean, relative to what?

I mean, this is a gem gem society so maybe that's the only this is a storybook there are only princes and poppers you have a be landed gentry how's building your soulmate going pretty good something weird happened

there was a glitch don't tell people that giselle question mark how are you i'm not done building you yet you're in danger oh okay hold on i mean it's like the end of into the spider-man all right well it was good. You're in danger. Okay, cool. Yeah, I guess. I guess I'll watch something else. I guess I'll wait a year. I think you're so made as Mr. Bean. Hey, you're not supposed to be here.

I haven't finished building you. It doesn't have any limbs. Just watch an advert to get two or two to get free gems. That's pretty funny. It's interesting that it's like even a currency thing. It isn't just like you gotta choose these things. I'm like, oh, I can be... Why am I workshopping

the script for one of these? What am I doing? I do love the end, which provides no resolution whatsoever. But a problem. And doesn't even say part one. There has not been yet that was 2021 yeah there was no follow up I feel like there almost never is

I mean what is the follow up it's fine the way it is go ahead hit follow go ahead hit follow that's the follow up is me hitting follow oh she just published it wow that's build a build a tiktoker right there That's the follow-up is me hitting follow. Oh, she just published it. Wow. Wow. That's build a TikToker right there.

Well, that's all for today's issue of the printed magazine that you just finished listening to. Okay. Sad Boys. What do you think the show is? It's a magazine and it comes out every week. Some of us, right? It's available at your local magazine stand. Okay.

That we write. And you can hear it with your ears. Okay. Who knows this blooper, man? You don't know it well. We end every episode of Sad Boys with a particular phrase. We love you. Mama.

Stay go. Stay go. go to Gucci girl Gucci girl how you doing how you moving girl moving girl how she delicate that future girl future girl yeah we on now

take my money go away all you want and go to rich for me