Sad Boyz - Soulmate POVs Are A Nightmare

Episode Date: November 16, 2024

Jarvis and Jordan discuss why babies are like that, how many times The Rock has been to Inn N Out, and explore the intricacies of POV TikTok universes. Head to https://factormeals.com/sadboyz50 and u...se code sadboyz50 to get 50% off your first box and 20% off your next month! Sad Boyz Live! Nov 30 https://dynastytypewriter.com/sad-boyz Poster art by @totteringchatter POV TikToks by @nickel_c Weekly bonus episodes for only $5/mo at: https://patreon.com/sadboyz Join our Discord â–¸ https://discord.gg/Hw82Dhun4m P.O. Box â–¸ 3108 Glendale Blvd Suite 540, Los Angeles CA 90039 Play Sad Boyz BINGO â–¸ https://sadboyzpod.com/bingo Write To Us â–¸ sadboyzpod@gmail.com Use the subject line "Pen Palz" and we could read it on the next episode! Our Links â–¸ https://linktr.ee/sadboyzpod 00:00:00 Babies hate this one simple trick 00:11:52 Red One Movie 00:16:42 Sponsored By ZocDoc! 00:18:02 Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson 00:29:43 Sponsored By Factor 00:31:50 Candyland Lore 00:45:28 Sad Boyz Live! 00:46:04 Mattel Wicked Figurine Debacle 00:58:30 POV TikTok

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Starting point is 00:00:00 I will. Well, actually, both of my babies love this one simple trick. You're like, I go like this? But I'm still there. Babies hate her. Babies hate this one game. No, they love it when I pretend it. You started.
Starting point is 00:00:19 Welcome to Sad Boys Podcast about feelings and other things also. I'm Jarvis. I'm Jordan. And Anastasia's here. And Anastasia just started. most anastasia we were we were about to start recording but then anastasia started telling a story and the story started with one of my babies no both of my babies fall for this one simple trick you won't believe and i have so many questions one who are these babies we to our knowledge you do not have two babies
Starting point is 00:00:46 but then I'm also curious about the trick when you said one of my babies I think you were like okay well I understand maybe there's multiple of them no there is two I have two babies in my life
Starting point is 00:01:01 explain I have two babies what do you want to explain okay you just reiterated i have two babies what do you want okay you sounded sad i have i there are two couples that i'm friends with that both have babies around the same exact age they're both around seven months so they got laid respect pretty badass i fist bumped them when they told me they were pregnant it is weird that when people are trying for a baby yeah we're fucking yeah i was like yeah okay no protection for me thanks for letting me know there's actually a really horrible trend of um pregnancy announcements announcements I agree like don't announce it but also the they'll wear t-shirts or or have signs
Starting point is 00:01:52 where the um woman will have a t-shirt that says like turkey in the oven and the husband will be like I did the basting oh and it's like i don't want to think of your why and why did you need to wear a shirt about it like you already have one would assume that before this happened you had clothes and then for for you to have done this you have said i'll introduce a new clothes to my uh clothing collection and it's going to be all about the sex we just yeah waiting anxiously for your etsy delivery to come through so you can do the most epic post bun in the oven i provided the batter and it's like imagine if i was gonna see this yeah so your best friend is a baby because you're a baby you love sesame street okay yeah but it's i and i
Starting point is 00:02:42 do want to let you finish this story but i think it would be funny if i deviated once again this is the format of this episode what is what is it's thanksgiving is coming up yeah what if we got those shirts and had a friendsgiving that would be amazing you're like i have a turkey in the oven and i did the basting and it's like no he literally happy thanksgiving we're cooking the turkey his job was to base the turkey in the oven and i did the basting and it's like no he literally happy thanksgiving we're cooking the turkey his job was to baste the turkey you have another one underneath that says turkey's done we're gonna eat it now and then later had the turkey it was okay and then your whole time you had i did the basic just multiple layers what was the other one what was the buns are in the oven as well that's the other shirt you should take off the shirt it's like a breakaway pants like in a basketball game pie is in the oven i made the filling yeah oh cool that's also a shirt
Starting point is 00:03:30 and then all of those things are cooking because it's a beautiful thanksgiving day gorgeous wait a second oh my god that's rough this one's rough it. I think we're probably looking at the exact same one. I declare pregnancy, Michael Scott, and then Dwight, just the hair, it's just the silhouette, just the hair and glasses, fact, I am pregnant. Fact. Dude, I hate it when people try to disprove pregnant people. Wait, growing a tiny human, I helped, those are the people who work at the in vitro fertilization building a child i feel like the people to make or wear these t-shirts are the same people that do like the like tying your wife up at christmas lights and putting tape and it's like finally
Starting point is 00:04:18 peace on earth yes or the disney couple shirts that are like i'm my favorite disney villain is my wife and it's like that's i'm a little i'm drinking yeah i wear half of each you're drinking for two because uh your wife has a bun in the oven yeah and she uh doesn't want to be inebriated because she doesn't want to lose sight of the bun that's in the oven so i've been gonna't want to be inebriated because she doesn't want to lose sight of the bun that's in the oven so i've been gonna focus on that i've been basting it in turkey juice which probably doesn't help what can you look at some of those turkey ones scroll up hold on this one just says it's all gravy we're having a baby that's just a rhyme that's not like it's you know baby's made of gravy i don't know know. Who cares? I put a turkey in her.
Starting point is 00:05:05 That doesn't even make sense. I put a turkey in that oven. There's a turkey in this oven. That one feels like it was made by Chad G. The uncle has like, my sister has a turkey in the oven, by the way. I'm imagining his. Wait, there's multiple shirts that say I put a turkey in that oven. There's a turkey in this oven.
Starting point is 00:05:23 You put that shirt on your oven during Thanksgiving. Just so that people know there's a turkey in that oven there's a turkey in this oven um you put that shirt on your oven during thanksgiving just so the people know there's a turkey in there the shirt catches fire because the oven's too high do you think anybody okay so it's gym day right nothing to wear i'll be bad with my laundry i guess i'll wear this again the child is now four years old but i'll put on i put turkey in my wife or whatever this is guess who's full of turkey i'm imagining like turkey wait can you go back jacob are these just they're forward maybe because this is back i quit drinking oh and then it says just kidding i'm just pregnant well no i hope you're not kidding. I hope you are not drinking, but congrats.
Starting point is 00:06:07 I quit drinking. Just kidding. Just kidding. I'm pregnant. I'm drinking. Guess who's not smoking cigarettes? Psych. Pack a day, actually.
Starting point is 00:06:13 It is very funny to just kidding. I'm quitting drinking, which is just like a normal thing that happens in people's lives. Why do you need a shirt about any of this? All of these shirts are uh they're they're about pranking your family at like a family gathering oh take off a jacket baking more than cookies this christmas oh i'm i'm baking little feet i have tiny feet guess that i'm that are in my oven i have a child's feet in my oven. I miss beer. I wear that every day. I just wear that every day.
Starting point is 00:06:48 I miss beer. These actually do feel like they could be Jordan shirts. Oh, go up. In my merry pregnant era. The ultrasound ones are also too weird. It's so like trad. So my friends who were pregnant both told me people really do just touch your stomach without your permission and like they're do they mean the baby from the inside love you out but it's like such a weird thing to then constantly be like hey look there's a baby
Starting point is 00:07:21 in here look at this i almost would want a shirt if I were pregnant that had an arrow pointing to my face and said, There's a lady up here. Stop looking, please. Stop looking down here. I'm a human. It's like a boob shirt, but it has an arrow on this side where it's like, I'm up here. My eyes are up here. So you're best friends with babies because you're a baby with a sesame seed.
Starting point is 00:07:44 You know what? At this point, me telling you what I was going to tell you is like not... So essentially, I was going to say is when my friends...
Starting point is 00:07:52 When I'm playing with my friends' babies, I pretend to take a bite out of them and I go, how? And they giggle and it's cute.
Starting point is 00:08:00 Are you worried one day the hunger will take over? And I will actually bite them. And you'll wear a shirt that has baby feet on it? Because you will be wondering what it means. Baby in the belly. I have a baby in my stomach too. My friends are like, no, please prosecute her.
Starting point is 00:08:16 Like, what are you doing? Someone call the federal baby inspector. I put your baby in the oven and I basted it. There is a weird thing about wanting to eat a baby no no i'm not saying me understood i'm saying the shirt is ordered etsy says it'll be here in four to six weeks no jacob can you google 150 welcome thanks for thanks for coming can you google like wanting to eat cute things it's a a psychological, yeah, it's actually a psychological thing. It's his homepage.
Starting point is 00:08:50 Where you're like, I just want to eat your cute little toes. Peeps is here, too. What up, Peeps? Peeps has said stuff, but I just wanted to make sure people knew it was the intern, a.k.a. Peeps. Yeah, Peeps has become, like, an actual nickname at this point. I haven't put the hours in. Yeah, you have the intern, a.k.a. Peeps. Yeah, Peeps has become like an actual nickname at this point. I haven't been the average one. Yeah, you have. You texted me.
Starting point is 00:09:09 You were like, me and Peeps have arrived. And I'm like, all right, we're doing it. All right, pal. This is real. Am I remembering the context correctly that I just hadn't had Peeps? You don't like them. And then you were like, Peeps are better than my family. Well, hold on.
Starting point is 00:09:23 Yeah, you said you actually are wearing a shirt that says, I've got, I'm eating Peeps. I have Peeps in the oven. They're melting. I should have basted them. And then another shirt that says, Peeps have destroyed my oven. Why did I cook the Peeps?
Starting point is 00:09:37 I put them in the microwave. They did explode. They do explode. Baby in the oven. Oh, no. Get the baby. Get the baby. I've got a baby in the microwave. Oh, God Get the baby. I've got a baby in the microwave.
Starting point is 00:09:46 Oh god. Oh god, oh no. Isn't that from like The Flash or something? He catches a baby in a microwave because that's like better than your hands or something. Not only does he catch it in a microwave, he then, because they're all falling out of like a skyscraper, right? Like a baby. And he has to,
Starting point is 00:10:01 because he's going to catch multiple babies. Sorry, this is harder to understand. Batman fights the Joker. That's his thing. The Flash catches a baby and he has to because he's gonna catch multiple babies you know the flash this is harder to understand that man fights the joker that's his thing the flash catches baby fall out when you know fall out when the baby okay uh the flash um in order to keep it safe while it falls 7 000 feet he puts it in a microwave because of this protection oh i forgot about ezra klein ezra miller yeah so. So all those babies are flying through the air. Oh my God. There's the baby in the microwave. Hold on.
Starting point is 00:10:29 Yeah. He's hungry for, wait, how is this? Okay. What the fuck? I don't remember. Is he throwing that at a baby?
Starting point is 00:10:37 This is so dumb. Yep. There we go. Now it's safe. And this is before, after they did all those crimes. Uh, released after produced for years for some reason. Oh, thank goodness. You got to look out for this. And this is before or after they did all those crimes? Released after.
Starting point is 00:10:47 Produced for years for some reason. Oh, thank goodness. You got to look out for acid. This baby is like almost as bad as that Twilight baby. The CGI. Oh, I love that. That Twilight baby is. Have you guys seen the animatronic original one before? They TGI'd over it.
Starting point is 00:11:02 It looks like Annabelle. It's legitimately terrifying. That's awesome. It's so good. Oh my Godastasia you said you said more that's your best friend you you're the you're the top comment on this video that goes my favorite part is two minutes and four seconds this movie honestly it's a very funny uh mess of a movie it would be legitimately good if one of the first things that happens in the movie is the Flash fails to save 12 babies and the movie just has to move on. So does he just put the baby in the microwave? He puts the baby in the microwave.
Starting point is 00:11:32 And then let it do the rest? It just falls. Well, it lands on the ground, but it's safe because of the microwave. So I did the egg drop in middle school. You raised your hand like you were in middle school. Anastasia? Yes, thank you um i you did you ever do the egg drop where you have to drop an egg from increasingly higher heights class yeah so speaking
Starting point is 00:11:53 of bad movies there's so many like bad movies i feel like we all need to go see together yeah i would you already saw it's i'm santa and look out i um um no it's uh we gotta find santa we're santa's friends we gotta find him we're a mismatched duo and one of us is dwayne johnson and it's actually called red one red one i you were okay so first of all we were in a meeting yesterday or i was filming something or something we were like talking before i i was at my computer and i extended canon i don't know what day it i i was at my computer and it was an extended canon i don't know what day it was i don't know what time it was i had to go upstairs to get something and there was a like a delivery that came in a bag and the bag had the red one
Starting point is 00:12:37 had red one ad printed on it and i felt like i was inside of like some sort of ARG. Can you find J.K. Simmons as Santa? No. Yeah, it does feel like a joke movie concept. You watched it. I saw it. I saw an early like screening of it. We watched the trailer with other trailers on the watch along on our Patreon. It's like on the higher tier of the Patreon.
Starting point is 00:13:04 And we theorized we workshopped a new movie called uh door oh yeah that was we had some good bits in that it was really fun but anastasia had prepared all of the trailers that we watched but anyway yeah so you're the movie connoisseur the movie bastard um i think yeah uh i think i thought it was fun whatever it's fine like it was a good i had a good time watching it um but it's weird like that there's so many bad movies that are also popular like beekeeper and no i love these movies but they're bad i know what you mean okay well tomato tomato if the movie's so bad how come he kills a bunch of innocent people yeah well he blows up a building that is a good point because he wants to get to one guy
Starting point is 00:13:53 and so he blows up an entire building that was completely full of people doing their nine to five he has a throw like a throwaway line that it's it's almost in the same vein as where they're like i noticed a little british in your accent it's like that throwaway line he's in the building and he just goes like if maybe you can wait your mates up and get out of here and they don't yeah they explode and he walks into the recept the reception desk and he goes i'm gonna set this place on fire he's like i what in the world are you here for an appointment? He's already walking away. I'm a beekeeper. There was another movie that you said we should all go opening night.
Starting point is 00:14:32 What was that? I really want to see the Minecraft movie for one opening night. That would be fun. A skibbity toilet movie. I've heard through the grapevine that the Minecraft movie is not bad. It seems, I mean, it's just, it's the current version of a movie. This is a movie. When does it come out?
Starting point is 00:14:51 Red One is the same thing. It's just a movie. April 2025. I maybe have heard some things through the grapevine. You know, they have tests and screener things. And we live in LA. So sometimes word gets around but i went to a screening on the paramount lot uh that i can't talk about because i signed an nda yeah somebody probably broke their nda by being like
Starting point is 00:15:15 i just saw a movie this past week that's coming out in june 2025 so it's like that's i don't think people realize how far in advance they have a cut of the film and test it with audiences yeah because they make changes yeah because they want the movie to be i would love to have an early release of a youtube video and then be able to like make make changes yeah and they they the movie i saw had no visual effects on it so it was like you would just see like a photo of a balloon and it's like we will put a balloon here a balloon it has a balloon balloon is this balloon city uh-huh it is balloon city the movie balloon city one no it's just a balloon that's the whole the movie's called balloon yeah and it's got that trailer where they've got the slow-mo somebody once told me
Starting point is 00:16:15 the way and then it's like door slam the world is good there's obviously a baby in a microwave from the producer of a bunch of blumhouse movies. I ate the sharpest tool in the show. Timpani. And then reveal there's a baby sitting on top of the balloon as it floats into the sky. And then hard cut to black, white on black text, and featuring. And it's like Sylvester Stallone's cousin. There are certain times in life where fit really matters. Yeah, like finding the right jacket.
Starting point is 00:16:50 I don't know what you're talking about. This is my jacket. It fits great. I'm really cold. The other place where fit matters is finding a doctor that fits your specific needs. You should not have to compromise when it comes to your health. And you don't have to, thanks to ZocDoc. ZocDoc is a free app and website where you can search and compare high quality in-network doctors. Choose one that fits your specific needs and click to
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Starting point is 00:18:01 I've missed. Can I have it back please? No. Dwayne the Rock Johnson as a character. Don't worry about it. Yeah, he's a character in the movie, and he's not Dwayne the Rock Johnson. And he goes, I'm just telling you one thing. I'm not the Rock.
Starting point is 00:18:17 Your suspension of disbelief is saved. In Red One. For some of this year, probably. The Rock plays himself in Red one essentially not literally i was all like hey brother but it is funny him being like come on uh santa we have a code red you're like why is the rock just like talking to santa i watched like a video about how the rock just exaggerates so much stuff and it's very funny because I think he, it's one of those things where he's like, Yeah, me, The Rock, here, Dwayne.
Starting point is 00:18:52 Every day I eat 9,000 billion calories just because I want to get a good workout in. You know, we work hard. We play hard. The Iron Jungle is here with me, and we're repping it out today. Have you seen him lie about In-N-Out twice? Three times. Legend, dude. Wait, what's the In-N-Out lie?
Starting point is 00:19:12 Maybe it's twice. Maybe it's three times. He's lied about him going to In-N-Out for the first time. On Instagram. The funny thing about this right here is that this is actually my first ever this is dwayne the rock johnson's first time at in and out maybe you cut to a video you cut to a video two years prior and he goes funny thing about this is that it is actually also on instagram it's an older post and then he like also he he interacts with food wait can we watch this can we watch the rock
Starting point is 00:19:43 uh lot the rock in and out he interfaces with the burger the same way that a kid does when you get a coin from behind their ear he's like well i don't know how this works this is incredible yeah he's like this now what i'm understanding here is that they've got a ah i'm just a burger right in the middle of a a big old bun no i can't eat the bun they slaughter a cow shattered like i have a delicate constitution it just includes him also oh yeah here he is he said my first in and out burger experience again thanks to the fans who reminded me that i went to in and out years ago and totally forgot about it
Starting point is 00:20:21 yeah i'm actually not upset also we have to talk for the audio listeners about the emojis here so when he says again crying laughing emoji and then uh when he says you totally forgot about it 45 degrees rotated crying laughing emoji and then facepalm emoji i'm actually laughing about it roll rolled up in my pickup this is not like this is not like i don't do a dwayne johnson but you know how he's kind of like i'm gonna over enunciate everything he rebranded he used to do and then he shifted to like i'm just a dad you know um rolled up in my pickup and tried to be cool af with my order pickup truck emoji uh sunglasses emoji you know like a car but i didn't know the lingo didn't know who to pay where to pay didn't know the lingo. Didn't know who to pay, where to pay. Didn't know shit. Didn't know what money was. Didn't understand what human beings were.
Starting point is 00:21:10 My servos were going crazy. He's so used to experiencing the world through his handlers and sort of catered experiences where he's like, I had to exchange currency. I went to the bank and asked them for a few dollars and they just gave it to me you know what i'm cooking i didn't know who to talk to i didn't know if i was allowed in the vault um also didn't know the lingo is very funny because you just order a burger can i have a hamburger they had this big piece of something with a bunch of words on it but but I didn't know the lingo. I ended up with a double-double, triple-animal-style hashtag cheat day.
Starting point is 00:21:49 He just ended up with one of the merch t-shirts and no burger. I do understand, like, you know, whatever. In-N-Out has a secret menu, blah, blah, blah. Wait, wait, wait. But they also have a normal menu that's printed and in person. Yeah, they have burger. So at the end, oradi goes but I'm a quick study brain emoji
Starting point is 00:22:10 wink emoji loved everyone's positive vibes and their holy shit it's the rock oh I get that all the time when I go to In-N-Out they're always like holy shit it's the rock even though I don't know the lingo I'm able to be beloved as Dwayne The Rock Johnson.
Starting point is 00:22:27 Dude, I loved the grub. And then burger emoji, fry emoji, melanated thumbs up. Like, this is skin tone four, thumbs up. Yeah, is it different than the cringe face? Than the pace pump he was doing earlier? I think it's the same, but... Or maybe it's slightly darker.
Starting point is 00:22:49 And love how everyone in the drive-thru looked at me like i have three heads when i give him a tip okay i everyone in the drive how many people will they're sticking their heads out of their cars yeah looking at them thank you in and out for being awesome imagine like going to a store today i went to walmart and uh i saw that they had a skibbity toilet mystery box for the low low price of 49.99 no i don't know i want to thank the kind people at walmart for serving me and exchanging currency for good now i went to cvs i don't know what a famarcy is but when i went up there and asked for hth they were more than willing to provide me with it i don't take that though i though. I wouldn't take it, and I never would, and that's why I'm 60 and my body looks like this. I eat 9 billion calories a minute.
Starting point is 00:23:30 I don't know the lingo, but I'm able to eat that much. The funny thing about this is it kind of, it is not an ad. Like, he hasn't. His life is an ad. Well, I want to watch this video because I do think he narrates it. Okay. Come on, man. Take a picture.
Starting point is 00:23:43 No, no, no, no, no. Oh, God. I don't speak Spanishanish did you just say how handsome i am cheat meals wow the production vfx oh my god this seems like an ad right but it's not well you have a oh my god i love the framing of this is just look at the rock's large arm while he's i don't know why even feel that like at this angle the back of his head which i i don't want to be mean but the back of an older man's bald head is often weird to look at develops a second smile reminds you reminds you of your babies. Yeah, when I'm biting into their flesh.
Starting point is 00:24:29 Give me the back of your head. Can we find the first video? It is Sunday night, approximately 11pm. It is cheat meal Sunday for all of us. Two bowls of his own tequila. And the reason why this is history in the making is because
Starting point is 00:24:43 this is the very first time that i have ever tried an in-and-out burger so heavy or in-and-out fries or anything from in-and-out for that matter now i've picked up some in-and-out burger before uh through the drive-thru a few times for some buddies of mine i've never tried it so this is a first uh let's see. I have two double doubles. He's balancing on a ball. Loaded with lettuce, tomato, pickles. These are 50 degrees Fahrenheit. Yeah, those fries are inedible.
Starting point is 00:25:20 If you haven't had In-N-Out fries before, you have to eat them like fresh out of the fryer. They have the worst shelf life of any fries. 30 seconds. It's his company. Oh, it's Matt. I can't. This is like a fun way for him to justify drinking in the day. He's like, well, I'm about to drive.
Starting point is 00:25:44 I'm drinking straight tequila my very first in and out burger it would be funny if this one also said oopsie sorry oh i was just about to say it would be so funny if it cut before he tried the burger and it does well he didn't even eat it and this is still on yeah what on uh lying again little liar do it shameless liar likes by moving by david i like that guy he's always moving around he's cool say flexi fame is such a wild concept to me because a video like this getting 1.2 million likes is so funny. Yeah, it's like weird for me, I guess, to live that kind of life.
Starting point is 00:26:29 Yeah, just to see. So like, because this is a small time to you to this. It's like the it's like how the rocks hands looked around and ended up double double. It's like just like small scale. And me, I'm like, I would have to get two rocks to even fill my bun in my oven kind of thing. What? Truly. I actually, I'll say it.
Starting point is 00:26:49 I find The Rock detestable. I find him extremely off-putting. And I think it's his brand, his constant presentation of brand. And sure, everyone's doing a performance, especially in that space. There's just something sinister to me. He is America's sweetheart. And yet, he hasn't been in a good movie yeah one he hasn't been in one how crazy is that it's very funny uh it's also very funny that his bio is og girl dad homie thinks he invented fathering a woman
Starting point is 00:27:21 wait is og um qualifying girl or dad? I'm the dad of an OG dude. Yeah, I have a 90-year-old daughter. She's so old, dude. Wow. Didn't he recently, maybe not recently, I just saw it, start his own soap brand or something? Maybe, but I was just going to say this reminded...
Starting point is 00:27:42 Oh, there we go. He started a hair care line. Yeah. He's doing the LeBron can't believe this is my life pose. I do like the tattoo care. That's cute. I should try that. There's like a funny... There's something funny about him talking about the hair care
Starting point is 00:27:58 where he's like, I know it's good. Scroll up, Jacob. So he was... All the way up. He was GQ's man of the year or whatever was he a man of the year and this is 2024 so this just came out and the photos are so funny because he looks like an old-timey greaser but he has a bandana in his pocket oh and there is very specific there's a there's a code for bandanas in your pocket in uh gay male uh history and this is otherwise the most hetero photo i've ever seen
Starting point is 00:28:42 tucked kevin bacon t-, very blue jean. So I looked up what tan is, and tan is like cigars. What? God, that's nuanced. There's a lot of them, huh? There's only four, but one of them is there. The hanky coat is really fun, actually. Wait, hanky panky.
Starting point is 00:28:59 Is this supposed to be a Springsteen homage? Is that what he's doing? I have no idea. I think he's just like a all American fifties dude. Keep scrolling to see. Let's see if they have other photos. It's him dressed as a cowboy and then a biker. Oh, he's looking at a fish in the mouth.
Starting point is 00:29:21 POV Dwayne Johnson shooting you with a gun. That's also a fish. Yay. He pulls the gun out of the fish's mouth okay this fit actually that's actually slick wait a second this actually rules the american bad ass he looks like a little pump in that kanye music video yeah he looks like a roblox character oh my my belly i'm so hungry grumble grumble oh it sounds like you're busy and also hungry from breakfast to dinner to anything in between factor has easy nutritious meals that keep you fueled and feeling your best and whether you like having a nice consistent routine or being twisted messed up changing things around you're covered Factor because they have 35 different meal options every single week.
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Starting point is 00:32:05 I don't know anything about Candyland. I'm, you know, King Candy. Grammar Nut? There's one where it's like, it's just a mud pit. And I'm pretty sure his name is like gloopy. His name is La Brea. La Brea Tar. Why do they have gloopy on there?
Starting point is 00:32:23 Man's name is jay okay also lord licorice is like looks so out of place no that's me actually yeah you are definitely lord licorice oh yeah that's mr man look at that oh he does look like mr wait jacob go back to uh to the right to the right question and then there's baz who's just a dog that's also a basket that's sad specifically in this version of candyland it was the one on the left i think it's like queen frosty or something we should be clarified yeah when i was young that was my first crush i think peeps is a youth peeps is uh eight years old i thought candyland was of an elder generation i thought they keep bringing it back they keep reinventing the style of the characters too and some of them they did
Starting point is 00:33:13 a horrible job not a child's child so can i look at lord licorice's bio please how old is he same age as me if we're if we're talking gender envy though it was mr mint i would like to be mr mint i think you honestly you could cosplay as mr mint that does i do feel it like an energy vibe an energy match this is the biggest compliment i could ever receive this is me lord licorice royalty royalty is you like i how progressive of the candyland fandom wiki to have the pronouns of each of the characters portrayals i was portrayed by marco so i guess his name is gloppy not gloopy i think that's an easy mistake to make i i mean that's me that's so good wait wait are there any of them that
Starting point is 00:34:00 um are like they them like have they that's what i'm going to do before you deviate i want to read something because this is uh very funny because this is a fandom wiki for candyland which is apparently a thing that exists and um the wikipedia page is written as if as a normal celebrity page would be written on wikipedia gloppy is a character in the Candyland universe and a major figure of the Candyland game series. His associated location is originally Molasses Swamp, then later Chocolate Swamp and Chocolate Mountain. These are from Fortnite.
Starting point is 00:34:36 Molasses Swamp doesn't resonate with the kids these days. No one's eating molasses. Well, the whole thing with Molasses Swamp was that you can't really get out of it because it's sticky oh that'd be cool how many characters die in it wait hold on peeps how do you know about this molasses swamp is a location from 1949's version of candyland if you don't think i know my candyland i i look i might i uh look at this i recognize game i guess it's a photo of peeps from 1920 if i were to like if i were to be a betting man about which of us would appear in a photo from 1929 it would be peeps yeah that's
Starting point is 00:35:11 tough though tough yeah it would you would i would expect your model vampire you time travel that would be your justification uh now's a good time to plug my podcast time hole yeah travel through time maybe that's what my bias is coming up also you say it's like a you say it's like the um premise of a podcast but i do think that you have had every job and experience known to man i do love to travel through time by reading books oh yeah me and Anastasia have actually known each other for about 900 years. I don't like the name of that guy.
Starting point is 00:35:51 Fluffy Jacob says very effectively. He's up to something, right? Yeah, why is Haynes buying his bag? He has a pistol. Jacob, are you identifying with Fluffy Puffer? Yeah. Hold on. No pronouns. Is that close? Jacob, are you identifying with Fluffy Puffer? Yeah. Hold on. No pronouns. No pronouns.
Starting point is 00:36:06 Is that close? There's none. That's maybe more progressive than the he-him-ing of Gloppy. Yeah, Gloppy, I can't imagine. So to make it appear, you have to say its name aloud in multiples. Oh, no. What? Multiplies. multiples. Oh, no. What? Multiplies. No, no, no.
Starting point is 00:36:26 It says whenever its name is said aloud, it multiplies, which is horrifying. It has mitosis. VCR. That's true for Jacob, too. History. This section has not yet been completed. I read that as Candyland VR game. You wish.
Starting point is 00:36:42 No. Oh, see, now the Gen Z is jumping out. Yeah, VCR is a video cassette recorder no i know yeah right now you know it from you know it from your past life from when you invented it yeah when you were working with john uh videotape i've just seen a picture and i thought to myself what if this was it's the ladies what are mr mint's pronouns the Mr. in his name. And what's his race?
Starting point is 00:37:09 Mr. Mint and Mr. Mime probably are related. Come on, that's a he, they, king right there. Come on. Yeah. Yeah, it should be Mix Mint or whatever. How would you say it? Jacob, can you please click the link for human in the species section? Yeah, open up a new tab because before we deviate,
Starting point is 00:37:24 I just want to point out that Mr. Mint is a multi-hyphenate king. for human in the species section? Yeah, open up a new tab, because before we deviate, I just want to point out that Mr. Mint is a multi-hyphenate king. He is a peppermint lumberjack, a keeper of the royal, and of the royal peppermint forest. Of course. Or is he peppermint lumberjack, keeper of the royal peppermint forest? He's a lumberjack, a royal lumberjack.
Starting point is 00:37:43 He's a snow beaver companion? Oh my god. Sometimes he is seen with. Yeah, where is it? That was the beaver question mark. That's what we saw earlier. Not what I was expecting it to look like. Betrayals by Ian James Corky. Humans.
Starting point is 00:37:58 Oh, right. That's what you. Oh, wow. That is us. That's a photo of humans right there. You should dress like that. Humans are a bipedal primate species. It should be noted that the term human,
Starting point is 00:38:13 as used for the purposes of the Candyland Wiki, is an assumption based on the physical appearances and not typically used in game. Yeah, I can imagine that would come up. Because Candyland is a largely unknown realm and its humanoid residents might identify differently or have significantly different internal biology. They are so progressive.
Starting point is 00:38:30 That's it. I know, I love that. They're like, while we are using this turn of phrase, human, it is really a shortcut, as we do not know the internal. I gotta be honest, I think I would be taking more creative liberties were I an admin on here. I got my cram on that for a second.
Starting point is 00:38:43 Isn't there exactly how you have the floor? Peeps, can you read the first paragraph here? This is great. Creative liberties were I an admin on here. I'm on that for a second. Please. You have the floor. No way. Peeps, can you read the first paragraph here? This is great. In history or notes? History. It is unclear exactly how humans rose to power in Candyland.
Starting point is 00:38:57 Like the Dark Ages. They seem to have a mostly friendly relationship with the other, mostly friendly with the other species in the realm, although this varies based on individual disposition. Racism. The royal family of Candyland appears to be entirely human, which implies that there is an adherence to some sort of caste system. I can't imagine that they like gloppy. I was going to say.
Starting point is 00:39:20 The possible alternate biology of Candyland humanoids is hinted at in the 1999 version. Two children are shown running while holding left hands in a contorted position that might otherwise be. It's just like an artistic inconsistency. And they're like, hands might be backwards in Candyland. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. It's a homunculus. I'm so confused so the oh yeah the feet are also he's like holding hands behind yeah he's got his left hand back this is the
Starting point is 00:39:55 thing you can do in in on earth as well yeah you just have to do you just have to wait hold on wait wait that is his no wait this is hard He's doing this, right? You... Wait. Recreate. Jarvis, put your left hand behind you. Oh, yeah. And then I'm grabbing it. Grab his left hand with your left hand.
Starting point is 00:40:17 Let's go. If you were to trip, you would pull my arm off. Well, we've got to get to the gingerbread plum trees. I'm no artist, but I feel like it would have been easier to draw them not in that pose, right? Like, I feel like just a normal holding hand. You don't know what they were going through. Yeah, it was composed by M.C. Escher. Gingerbread plum trees to plum trees are an infinite loop.
Starting point is 00:40:43 I mean, real. Go ahead and check King Candy's information. Because they're saying that the caste system has placed humans. Wait, there's Grandma Gooey and Grandma Nut. I'm sorry. Grandma Gooey Nut. Gooey Nut. Is he a human?
Starting point is 00:41:00 Because that would... He's a human and royalty. He's gorgeous. Welcome to my castle. I am King Candy, and I've been described as the imperial head bonbon of the grand jujubee of Candyland. Excuse me, King. Do you see any issues with the fact that we have established a caste system that keeps all non-humans living in the slums that we put outside Candyland.
Starting point is 00:41:26 What you must understand is that we come from a superior biology. Wow, okay. We have two left hands. Imagine how many, we can hold hands at any angle all the time. And fucking Basket Dog cannot do that. Why are these guards taking me away? Get him! I wish that they would hold elections
Starting point is 00:41:47 in candy land it's sad that they have a monarchy but candy land the candy family dynamic seems to have changed again with princess frostine returning to name queen frostine and appearing as a black woman in this incarnation princess lolly appears to be of east asian ancestry they never say any of this about they don't go like king candy white by the way yeah this is the deviation so uh king candy appears to be the sole arbiter of the candyland justice system with the power to convict and sentence criminals on the spot notably i just did that or he just did that sorry i have no relation uh it is unknown if there are any constitutional checks or balances limiting his authority i feel like how can there
Starting point is 00:42:31 be it's an original uh pauper feudal system of course candyland a child's first game comes to life oh that's scary you go in it's like it's's peeps. That's what everything is. So you're Lord Licorice, is that correct? Yes, I'm Lord Licorice. Do you think he is questioning King Candy's power? And thus, in the propaganda that we're looking at here, that is sent to the natural realm, he is portrayed as something of a villain, dressed all in black, which apparently is bad.
Starting point is 00:43:04 He is like the one goth it's like when you look at the lineup it's like who does not belong yeah actually what have i made a pivot to candy goth that's my new fit oh candy goth is such candy goth core candy goth core i love this what if i started going by daddy candy i mean i was i was frowning but you wouldn't be that far off from Grandma Gooey Grandma Bust I have a nut in the oven Grandma Gooey and Grandma Nut that's my shirt for Thanksgiving got a grandma in the oven
Starting point is 00:43:33 and I a nut yeah I know she's like peanuts but I have no idea what Grandma Gooey is and I don't know if I want to know she like gummy bears wait wait wait wait the link that was immediately after grandma nut's name was house grandma nut's house oh yeah she lives in a peanut burrow house everyone knows
Starting point is 00:43:56 the king i wasn't raised in the house is the home of grandma nut come on dude get your wait so grandma nut and grandma gooey are the same because they go to the same link. That's racist, though. No, it goes to the same link, doesn't it? Oh, really? No. Grandma Gooey briefly replaced Grandma Nut. And she died.
Starting point is 00:44:15 Well, after you, Grandma Nut, it's Grandma Gooey. Ew. I got a cookie in the oven Chocolate cakes are her specialty Gloppy Gloppy are both residents of Chocolate Mountain Ooh do you think something's maybe Like Gooey and Gloppy Are hooking up
Starting point is 00:44:44 Well Chocolate mountain is where uh goppy used to live gloppy where obama's actually from gloppy still lives in chocolate mountain but it used to be the molasses used to be the molasses swamp oh before i introduced grandma gooey because they were like oh we need more chocolate people for some reason. What'd you say? Hey, just like America, am I right? Beeps, can I say on the podcast, maybe I'll save it for the Patreon, can I save the thing you said two days ago? I guess. And the magic card I made to represent it.
Starting point is 00:45:15 Should we talk about the things that are on our table? Yeah, we're having too much fun, and we've got to get to the Candyland episode. We've got like a hundred tabs open. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's our personal time. Go ahead and reply in the comments with your character from Candyland. Hey, hey, you, you.
Starting point is 00:45:31 You've got something to say. We have a live show coming up in Los Angeles, California on November 30th, 2024 at Dynasty Typewriter. Last time we did a show it was a highlight of the whole time. it's really wonderful
Starting point is 00:45:45 thanks everybody for coming out but you gotta come out again this time we have two shows one at 4 p.m one 7 30 you can see our beautiful poster here from tottering chatter on instagram we'll link that as well hope to see you there uh tickets will be available uh in a link in the description and if you can't make it no no worries. It will be available afterward on our Patreon. Jacob, what's the Wicked situation? Yeah, so there's a Wicked movie coming out this month and here in a couple weeks. And it's been a big deal this whole year. People are really looking forward to it.
Starting point is 00:46:19 15 weeks ago, which would have been in July or something, they announced, mattel announced that they would be making wicked uh figures um for purchases they do with many movies yeah mattel famous for making figures for making figurines old plastic they're the barbie people right yep yeah yep um so they make a bunch of toys and dolls and figurines. Okay, probably. And they announced that they would be making some for Wicked. It's perfect. And they got their reaction.
Starting point is 00:47:12 That doll does look like ariana grande it does they did a good job yeah yeah uh these dolls were released this last week um okay yeah so people have been looking forward to this jacob snow just says and then just ebay at the. That's just to learn something. That's just for him. Not everything went so smoothly. Oh, no. That's got me saying. So on the back of the packaging, as many packages do,
Starting point is 00:47:37 they put the link to a website. And I think someone just typed in the website that they assumed that the movie should be. The website is wicked.com. Oh, no. Don't search this yet. Don't search wicked.com. Because if you go to wicked.com, this is what you'll be greeted with. Oh, no.
Starting point is 00:48:06 Access beyond this page is restricted to adults 18 plus only. Only adults can, yeah, they can only appreciate musical theaters. You might think that. If you go beyond that, you will be greeted by an adult film website. Okay, now Jacob's showing us some. Wait, like, like.
Starting point is 00:48:22 Jacob keeps scrolling and he's like, and you'll also be greeted by, and then just scrolling through the videos. All the links are purple. Wait, Jacob, so like, like John Wick, like adult, because he's an adult in the movie. Yeah, because it's not wicked, it's wicked.
Starting point is 00:48:37 And that's what happens when John Wick kills your ass. You're going to get the wicked. Yeah. Yeah, wicked dog. That's so funny. So what is the actual movie? Your wicked movie or something? Pornhub.
Starting point is 00:48:49 Wicked is also what happens to candles. That's so true. They get wicked. They do get wicked. The URL should have read wickedmovie.com which will take you to the website for the movie. I thought that's what uh you
Starting point is 00:49:05 that's i thought that was what uh someone from boston describes it's a wicked movie i'm gonna go see the flesh it's a wicked movie i'm gonna have it yeah see the flesh what do you think how was that okay oh she says i'm in really nice we cut it out um group bookings please yes oh i'll book us now um so many of the articles that i read said that mattel had apologized i could not find the apology anywhere um on the figure reply to someone rb yeah um in office so i don't know if they actually apologized or not i would assume they would have because they've been they've been like recalled and stores are pulling them off the shelf and we know what happens when stores it becomes a family heirloom it's not as crazy as like maybe the candle that we looked at a
Starting point is 00:49:57 couple weeks ago okay but they are selling which is weird right it's weird it's weird that the kkk hood candle is going for 10 10 times more than the wicked doll i guess the disposable income available to bath and body works demographic the dolls retail at i think 25 do you think people want to buy this so they can find out what the naughty link was they like can't remember it i think like oh what was it top rated yeah um but yeah so now they're selling to for like uh two to like two to three to four times as much as the retail price wow what about skoda and i guess it's kind of it's like all of them purchased by me yeah purchased by wicked.com lover yes not not the musical wicked.com i'll say it again wicked.com the porn site it's me wow where they fit under the character reselling them to himself but yeah they haven't said whether or not they're going to fix the packaging and and resell these you assume right bad dragon yeah it's also
Starting point is 00:51:14 interesting i feel like if i were to buy one to sell it i would hold on to it for longer yeah yeah and i would like search the website or some shit you know what i mean like if i had it where would i even find a website like shit you know what I mean like if I had it where would I even find a website like that like where what was the link again where would I even do that
Starting point is 00:51:30 if you if you're early to this and then you buy a bunch of them you want to flip them as fast as possible and flood the market before like people realize
Starting point is 00:51:37 how many of them are out there you go to wicked.com I'm trying to flood the market I flooded the market and I helped my market was flooded economy's crashing and i flooded it and i raised it
Starting point is 00:51:50 and now i'm raising our child is it weird that i'm like am i too brain rotted yes that i'm like this isn't that big of a deal i you know what's really funny is that like it's it's one of those things that like it is an honest mistake you would think right but then there's going to be a portion of people that are uh there's a portion of people that are going to be like this is how the elites move everything's a code they're trying to make our children go to porn websites and um and so that's why because you know just fucking for some reason it's like the janet jackson thing yeah it's like so sometimes i'm reminded that we still live in that society to to an extent where it's it's like obviously it's bad obviously it's bad but
Starting point is 00:52:44 not everything is that calculated like sometimes it's just two like obviously it's bad obviously it's bad but not everything is that calculated like sometimes it's just two departments didn't communicate with each other and they put in placeholder text and it is so i think there's something that this happens a lot really with like i mean any service and it's one of the reasons that people are so cruel to support workers because there's like a mysticism to a brand like hasbro mattel amazon whatever and you're like talking to support you're like did you do pizzagate i bet you did pizzagate because it's not like rick is first something like this happens yeah it's like a placeholder on a template it's a little bit of a confidence that happens because because all of the there's probably a template that's a little bit of incompetence that happens because because all of
Starting point is 00:53:26 the there's probably a template that's on the back of all these dolls even the ones printed before this so it's like open up uh barbie doll size like 15.psd and then you fill out the wicked stuff and and then someone probably put wicked.com as like a placeholder. And then the next person assumed that someone had already filled in the, you know, the website. Hey, what's going on, sad boys highlights? Huge fan of your work. Because if it got printed with insert website here, it's not as much of a, you know. But have you been on insert.com? I remember seeing on Twitter when this this first broke people who were like oh my god mattel just
Starting point is 00:54:09 announced that they were using ai to create their packaging but there's an article that talks about how like this was not an ai mistake this is not like some you know also yeah it's like i think that people don't have a good sense of like how ai is being applied yeah what exactly would it have done to let that happen like people aren't saying hey ai make the back of the phone like and they're not reading it yeah like if they'd seen it they would know i mean i to be i didn't know this sounds like i super did but i did not know wicked.com went to that but i think i would click and check right yeah of course yeah so people someone messed up but even if i'd spelled it wrong like i want to check that even if uh you know the ai exists
Starting point is 00:54:59 like you could make an ai that just made the back of a thing, whatever. But this is a pretty archaic company that has made 5 million bajillion dolls. So obviously their processes are pretty well oiled. And so they're probably just doing everything as they usually do. Also, I think this is where the skeptics are forced. Actually, it's a less politically oriented version of a conspiracy theory where it's fun to put weight on something that's actually just kind of like frivolous and silly and this lets you do it with a buzzword right now but if you actually lean into it and you're like okay let's say they did use ai does that change anything about this no it's just
Starting point is 00:55:41 incompetence a human being quality check at some point like that it's because they use papers not microsoft word also my okay my uh template theory is further bolstered by the fact that i just thought about how the back of the barbie's probably just say barbie.com and then you double click barbie and it selects the word and you just type in wicked and you type in like because but you just didn't check because you're a designer and your job isn't actually filling out the copy you're just putting like and you're a designer and your job isn't actually filling out the copy you're just putting like and you might have been sent lorem ipsum that in an email yeah you probably don't you don't like just write in an email as a guess how did they get wicked.com
Starting point is 00:56:16 like that's pretty badass most one word urls were taken like 20 years ago well they've owned the url since 1994 there you go they're just like i gotta do something with this it's a porn production company called wicked that's makes sense dude mattel pay them off yeah there's no way that their porn feature film is uh more financially beneficial to them than the two million dollars you paid for the url or something it's so funny to look at like you can get a good sense of like institutional uh like money when you type in like very basic words like if you go to like flights.com or like hotels.com it's like to get that someone either had to if
Starting point is 00:56:58 you today you either have to pay like hundreds of millions of dollars or have owned it like elon musk has owned x.com since uh the 90s and then uh and he spent like 10 grand or something in the 90s so it was already so even then it was expensive before biodynamics you heard about this guy i have yeah because x.com was the original name of PayPal. Oh. Oh. That's way worse. So it kind of, I guess, makes sense why he's like, I need to change the name of this.
Starting point is 00:57:36 But it doesn't make sense. No, because I think he had a dream of making an everything. This is not even a joke. I think he had, like, a dream of making an app that was, like, kind of the everything app uxa and then he's like using the url because he's like helps him feel like superficially he's like living that dream even though the website doesn't work also apparently when he does the jump he's making an x yeah i just found that out it'd be better if he was making like a bird yeah like when he does this yeah he's making an x i wish you'd make a little egg he's on all the profile picture he kind of has the uh structural proportions of the default
Starting point is 00:58:11 the default profile picture before you customize it it's just like a high set of shoulders it's like it looks like too many fridges um let's let's take a peek into the world of pov tiktok because we've it's been i we checked eight months since we last addressed this important issue that's facing the nation oh tiktok uh no pov tiktok's about fantastical worlds oh of course my bad what you described is uh the best creative writing prompt or whatever i oh usually it's just people having fun and creating little mythical worlds and it's just very funny and it's fun and it's fun to like kind of it's fun to like play in their world i true like little self-plug what could i say probably for the first
Starting point is 00:58:55 time ever on the show um uh my two favorite videos on my channel are the ones about this stuff because i i mean i just found it so genuinely sincerely charming but also like crazy like like but i like weird bizarre ideas and this feels like looking into an alternate universe where this is what movies are yeah these are like so if you haven't seen them before it's basically like a like a TikTok where someone has in the caption or on text on the screen, world where your crush can hear your thoughts or something like that. And then someone does like an act out of that situation.
Starting point is 00:59:36 But then somehow subverts that even more into being even weirder than that base idea. And I don't know, this is a creator we haven't talked about before. So Jacob's going to take it away. Yeah, this creator's name is Nickel C. I think her real name is Nicole, but her username is Nickel C. Can I just say an embarrassing thing that happened the other day is I paid with cash for a coffee,
Starting point is 00:59:58 and it wasn't the exact on the number figure, and they said, can I get a dime? And then that'll give perfect change i know how much that is i do not know which coin that is and so they just like the rock they just i didn't know the lingo was wrong so they just gave me 10 cents off the coffee pretend to be british whoa for profit the lying power it's just. You also got the lying power, right? Yeah, why? What if we just tell each other a bunch of lies on purpose?
Starting point is 01:00:29 You are a genius. I also have the lying power. What if we just said a bunch of lies to each other on purpose? Do you think you'd know it was a lie? Well, I have the power, so no. Okay. Or yes, maybe. Who knows what it means?
Starting point is 01:00:42 The lying power is knowing something is a lie when someone tells you what it is in advance okay is there a previous one to explain why they would benefit no remember this always happens where there's you're just dropped into this world with no context yeah it actually it feels kind of like um like uh stumbling across like a fandom and just not understanding any anytime like when i was 15, I remember my friends trying to explain homestuck to me. And I was like, I just can't. What?
Starting point is 01:01:08 What are you saying to me? anytime peeps is like five nights at Freddy. And I'm like, I don't know this number five. Well, how many is night the morning? I don't get it. You are a genius.
Starting point is 01:01:21 Thanks. All right. You start. Okay. Let's see. Um, my name is Beyonce. I'm 69 years old, and I'm 8'4". No way.
Starting point is 01:01:30 It's always cash. No way it worked. This is the best I've ever used about. Wait, so if the things you lie about are true, then why would you just change your name to Beyonce and then be Andre the Giant? You would be the tallest man. When they tell a lie, they get money?
Starting point is 01:01:50 Or wait, so the sound was saying that they were getting money for just telling a lie. Cha-ching. Oh, so it's not even that the lie becomes true. Or that people can't tell when you're lying or that someone has to believe it. It's just that if you tell a lie, you paid it's money almost every single time it is because i think it's like it could be the like the saying poop power did you get the pooping power what if we shit all the time you just have to talk about it you have to do it it is weird that like it sort of uh encompasses like okay well what's what is it like a high school student or whatever
Starting point is 01:02:33 kind of like think about it's like okay what if i don't know if i had a power i i'd get money i don't know it's not like i'd save the world i do it's like yeah i'd probably just get cash i do think a lot of these povs are like what would be either scary or cool to a child yeah this would be scary to me because i've already got too much money oh because you love you love lying and so now you get paid for something that you love and if you get paid for something that you love you never work a day in your life but because you get sick of it you it's like doing a podcast huh like getting sick of doing a podcast with some guy and you can't remember the guy's name i don't think that happens um okay pal um i've got a lie for you it that isn't the case what i said is not how i feel what time is it right now how much money did i just get do me now okay okay i have pink hair i'm in one direction and i like country music oh my god
Starting point is 01:03:35 country music is always catching strays every every one of the lies up to that point was absurd i'm eight foot four i'm beyonce i like rap i like country music plus five million dollars what maybe it's that every time someone lies to you you get because she's singing above yeah yeah i have a i have a question about povs like this right so i'm. I'm not her. I'm the other person. Is that accurate? Because sometimes these, sometimes you just don't, you aren't. Because it's point of view, but a lot of the time it's like, I'm not doing anything.
Starting point is 01:04:16 No, you're looking at her and talking to her. I'm not always looking. You're lying to her. I'm sure there's people being annoying in the comments. There's always people being annoying. But like, hey, hate from England. And it's just like likes from the people being annoying in the comments. There's always people being annoying. But like, um, hey, hate from England. And then it's just like likes from the most boring people in the world.
Starting point is 01:04:30 But this is genuinely, I think, kind of sick. I've never been bored by one of these. It's like we're, not only are we having fun, but then the people in the comments are having fun, like kind of living in that world, and it's popular. Like, it's like to my knowledge, it doesn't harm anyone and it's just a little goofy it feels like uh kind of like um uh what's
Starting point is 01:04:50 it like uh easy access fandom where you're just like immediately in it there's it's a rare niche that is like simultaneously popular and seemingly not harmful i know i'm waiting for i'm waiting for one where it's like oh my god we got the racism dollar power we should subjugate the chinese let's see i hate black people i like country music shout out to country music shout out to shabuzy i feel like it's like because like it's it's fun for them to make. And I feel like every time someone does like this type of content,
Starting point is 01:05:28 they know it's campy and a little cheesy, but they're obviously having fun making it. They're getting the views they're getting like, get that bag. But also like, even though it's not like my cup of tea, like I just remember there's this guy, I think his name is ocean who does like this type of thing,
Starting point is 01:05:43 but it's in the Pokemon world. And I'm like, that's my type of like that check it out on sad boys nights today we are gonna find it and we're gonna talk about it like yeah it's the same thing and i watch those like hell because they're fun but i'm like oh it's just the same thing for someone that doesn't like pokemon yeah that actually is the uh i think it requires a certain amount of emotional maturity or at least it did in my case to appreciate something that connects with you personally and something that doesn't but you know does for other people as equally valuable because i feel like i spent so much especially of my adolescence and like a good chunk of my 20s
Starting point is 01:06:14 being like that thing that's the same thing as something i like but a different color that's actually bad and that's i think a good you know for people who are younger i think that's a very common feeling where someone liking you feel like you need to push away or put down what someone else likes if you don't like it yeah to validate yourself it's and that's not both can yeah both can coexist i think it's very wholesome to tolerate it's the wrong word but uh uh encourage and appreciate people liking things i i do i will say i've i've never liked the meme of like just let people enjoy things like no some stuff is is shit and i'm gonna make fun of you because i'll watch it but there is a i don't know i feel like a performance to criticism sometimes even movie criticism or something where it's like
Starting point is 01:07:05 biggest piece of trash fire doo doo trash I've ever seen one L out of a million this is years ago I saw angry video game nerd who like you know like sort of content farmified their stuff which I totally you know it happens
Starting point is 01:07:21 he's raising his kids but I think the thing from a few years ago he made a video about and this is like long past it's like prime right but the uh made a video about why he's not gonna review the ghostbusters movie that uh that like kate mckinnon and people were in the the women ghostbusters movie because everyone was like had their like gamer gate sleeper agent activation for that that thing and they were like oh the women I want to go out of my way to talk about how this is bad because of how much the women I don't like women basically oh my god Paul Rudd new one
Starting point is 01:07:57 Egon's in it this is good now it's also not funny or entertaining but the boys yeah exactly but that's the thing it's like but that female ghostbusters movie i'm trying not to you know we're using the vernacular of the little by being called the like the female ghostbuster movie but the girls one yeah i think that that is so like on uh that is just so maligned disproportionately to like it being a mid movie yeah it's just another like who cares like another unengaging remake like yeah it's it's like we have a million mid remakes and this is the one that's like you oh now you fucked with the holy bible ghostbusters people have like you can probably check out like a a reward reward um a review scale for every paul feig movie by cast and the boyer it is the better the score and when
Starting point is 01:08:55 it's too many bridesmaids what are they doing getting married to a guy what the hell uh my friend works at a restaurant she's a chef and she said when she reads uh reviews of the restaurant that it'll be like the food was inedible it was disgusting and she's like there's no way that's true like the food maybe you could be like it was fine i wasn't that into it but no one wants people love to be like um righteous and angry and way easier to articulate hate than love and it's really hard to articulate a seven like expressing that's why all ign reviews that are seven everyone's like good to zero that's what that means because it's it is genuinely very hard to articulate i liked this and here's me saying it in an interesting way. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:09:47 As opposed to like, biggest doo-doo trash fire. And then the latest Call of Duty has reinvented playing games and it made me reconnect with my dad. And also notably, it didn't go well. I'm sick of these pronouns. And if you don't go woke, then cha-ching. Yeah. You got the wokeness power?
Starting point is 01:10:07 Pronouns. Cha-ching. There has to be a twist in this TikTok, right? Ew, was that your sister? Did you guys hear that? I'm scared. I don't know what was that, guys, and I didn't do that. I'm scared.
Starting point is 01:10:25 Oh, she's one of the ones that ends, and I didn't do that. I'm scared. Oh, she's one of the ones that ends it in a popular meme. Okay. Oh, that's the twit. That clip is... Have you guys not seen that clip? You haven't seen that? I've seen that clip. Yeah. Oh, me too.
Starting point is 01:10:42 Cha-ching! I know. Everyone gets a million dollars yeah me me being like have you heard of this band you go yeah did you see that yeah i heard you know that movie yeah have you seen it it's like a like truman show or something like everybody has seen yeah i yeah you're holding your fingers behind your back i re-watched truman show recently the way he suddenly realizes or one of his biggest clues to the fact that he's in uh just a big lie is that in their wedding photo his wife as they're kissing is crossing her fingers behind her back which is like i love that movie and it is very magical realism like yeah it's actually i realized it's basically what a kid thinks it would be like
Starting point is 01:11:25 to be in a tv show like it's a lot like oh yeah they do that and they paint the wall to be like you know yeah but there is and what you need because there are real people you know making the people making this movie know how movies are made so they have to like you they have to like meet the audience where they are i just love the idea of like uh but we had a prenup like look again yeah cha-ching i do wait lying power too i'm seated dude let's watch she just makes more money a million dollars or a hundred dollars every time someone lies to me isn't it obvious it's the options are a million dollars. One million dollars right now.
Starting point is 01:12:08 Or every time someone lies to you, you get a hundred dollars. Every time someone lies, I think that's going to rack up. I think that's the right choice. If this were like one of those finance podcasts. So, okay. Then you know when people lie. Let's do the math. A million is a thousand thousand.
Starting point is 01:12:23 So you need to get to a million dollars. You need someone to lie to you 10,000 times. So, so 10,000 times, you're pretty young. Thanks. You have a lot of conversations and a lot of people tell white lies all the time. So if you just go around asking everybody how they're doing and they say yes and then you just get paid and then just every day you like go to your and they go like what the fuck was that yeah do they hear the sound because that's when jews doing it to with us pov
Starting point is 01:12:55 that's what pov is wait imagine the sound is played so that everyone can hear it. And then you go to like a church sermon or something. And the like super pastor is telling you that he needs like your tithe to be able to buy his private jet to spread the Lord's word or whatever. I think that there's also a thing where because this could become your job. Right. Because if you get a hundred times, times a hundred times you get a hundred dollars every time someone lies i quit my job and i start talking to people way more often i go somewhere into politics yeah you get into politics uh you get into talking to politicians as your job how about if i want a bunch of money i get the meeting a bunch of clowns in Congress. You become a courtroom scribe.
Starting point is 01:13:50 I'm going to say I become the person that is watching the lie detector tests. But you just are the lie detector. Right. The lie man. And you just listen for the... They're like, no, don't watch the polygraph. Listen for the cash register noise. That's when you know if you cheated. Also, does it go to your bank or does it appear in your pocket?
Starting point is 01:14:03 No, it goes to your head. Your virtual bank. It goes inside your brain. You go into Wells Fargo and you say, I'd like to do a brain transfer. You're explaining to the person, you're like, I have a million dollars in my mind because every time I lie, I get paid money
Starting point is 01:14:20 and then they're just hitting the button. All eight tellers are smashing it hey are you calling the police right now no I just gotta hit a hundred more dollars I know what that means putting her head on the contact list
Starting point is 01:14:36 you guys are gonna do great at the talent show you're the best music class I've ever taught I always knew Miss Gracie lied about these sort of things why don't you go first for your playing test um yes sure because i definitely did not procrastinate all my practicing for this assignment thanks for the hundred bucks it's kind of acting like they are transacting like it's their 100 but we know from the prequel this is funny everyone with this power is going to create a new financial collapse.
Starting point is 01:15:07 Oh, dude. They're all getting so rich. They're going to collapse. They're going to destroy. It's going to be the housing crisis, because we bought eight houses in Florida via me going to a live concert and yelling, I don't like ice cream. Duh.
Starting point is 01:15:24 Oh, my God. ice cream oh my god that's really good by the way shout out allison stoner uh shout out joe jonas and dimi lovato my oh by the way that honestly reminded me that he's an actor yeah that he can do acting yeah oh yeah that was his brother so i mean he was in that one too we uh what was it called we yeah i can't believe we didn't talk about camp rock uh in that in that one yeah i gotta say i i think another kind of cool thing about um trends like this is the language they develop not just like the visual language of what's on screen like the oh the things above me and it just becomes intuitive same way you do an extreme close-up if you want to show intensity or something like that panning shot for exploration blah blah
Starting point is 01:16:17 blah i think it's cool that as weird and junky as it feels that brief cut to black has become the language of this genre you don't cut to the next scene cut to black and then the scene because it's a different day you know it's it's um that somehow became you cut the lights of the theater and then you raise the lights never never a new outfit though no well it's theater it's you know yeah they're just wearing we're they're not changing like it is a legitimate phenomena that we have like shot composition and dreams yeah because like it's such a strong monoculture yeah and sometimes the thing to do especially if you're doing like a cringe uh experimental indie film the thing to do is weird confrontational editing because even this felt you know a little weird every time
Starting point is 01:17:10 that cut comes in you leave the music going there was a part of me that was i felt like an old man being like but they them is plural you can't but she's creating a visual language that means something so that the next time you watch one of her TikToks, you completely understand what's going to happen. Yeah, it's like we grew up using dimes so that whenever someone asks us for one, we know exactly what the coin looks like and how much it's worth. I'm just saying maybe make some more shapes, some more sizes, okay?
Starting point is 01:17:41 I went to her. Dime is the smallest one. What do you guys want to watch next word count daily curse or there's this also this multi-part soulmate sighting stalker well so i want to watch i want to do i want to do these first two and then i want to get into soulmates word count i feel like we i've seen something similar to word count right because this is truly maybe you just check the word count on your essay that's due on my day is this like the words you have left in your life before you die oh that's fun i thought it was
Starting point is 01:18:10 gonna be like you have to everything you say has to be within oh there's been other povs like this i think yeah i like it sis am i hallucinating or is there a number above my head oh your word count everybody got one that's just the amount of words you're allowed to say this year says who the government don't you watch the news please i can tell when you're lying to me oh shit you weren't kidding she turns on the news and it's like new word count instituted it's like wow how do they they have no other news to cover they're always talking about there's one channel it would that yeah that's like they were talking about the news nation there's like purchase on well do do like news reporters get the same amount of words as everyone else they have to swap them out a lot because yeah they have to be silent in their
Starting point is 01:18:53 personal life you're like government mandated like one day of news reporting yeah everyone's rotating in the podcast would get efficient i'd be... I would just keep going, well, I guess I don't have anything to weigh in. Um, yeah. Language would evolve. People would start talking more like cavemen. Oh, one really long word. Like kanji for speaking.
Starting point is 01:19:21 Lots of, yeah. I can come up with some of them. Give me a sentence I need to say. Sally picked seashells by the seashore. Seashells by the seashore. Oh, I like that. Sally! At this rate, you're gonna
Starting point is 01:19:35 waste the last of your words being a teacher's pet. Shut up. You're just mad because you got it wrong. What? I did not. I can see your paper. Yes, Nicole? Wouldn't the answer be normal for us? This is so, uh, like high school chemistry and physics. Like, it's like, grab the work, grab the homework. It really makes me think about how, like, you're just at school all the time.
Starting point is 01:19:59 Like, it's like, where would I be and what would be going on? Well, I'm at school because I'm... They're like, okay, school because I'm doing homework. How many words can I use in my homework? I also feel like if you only had a certain amount of words for the entire year, you would learn to not say did not instead of didn't. Can you get around it? What are we doing with hyphens apostrophes where's that following is uh it didn't that did not is that two words
Starting point is 01:20:30 i become the result oh he's shy about this one and therefore sodium chloride does not dissolve in water. Hey, wait. Are you sure you want to do that? You only have 18 words left. That's a good friend. Always watching your word count.
Starting point is 01:20:52 Yeah. Nicole, no. That is not correct. Because according to the encyclopedia... That's a really funny use of that. I've seen memes. Just cha-ching two things again i've got to see this daily curse please please please don't be an embarrassing one and it's the most embarrassing thing of all bro is dr suit don't think that didn't rhyme
Starting point is 01:21:18 is eminem embarrassing is fucking i do like that your friends are waiting for your curse to come in and then immediately hit you with bro is Dr. Seuss. I do like that every single time the POV is like saying... Anytime it's like a dude, they're always talking in like Aiden Ross AAV. It's like, bro's goofy Dr. Seuss right now. Bet, bet. Oh, God. I'm like, bros, uh, goofy, uh, Dr. Seuss right now, bet bet. Oh god. I'm gonna go bash my head against the wall.
Starting point is 01:21:48 Oh, I guess not. So, what'd you get as your prize? No, it rhymed with the, that's the worst of them all. Oh, the worst of them all. I thought we were still, I thought I was still the doctor. So she- Bros, Dr. Seuss. Guys, come on. She doesn't have to rhyme with herself, she has to rhyme with other people?
Starting point is 01:22:03 No, she said that's the worst of them all. She has to rhyme with herself, she doesn't have to rhyme with other people no she said she has to rhyme with herself she doesn't have to rhyme with other people gotcha do something there you go at least boomers got me like that the girls seniors make me feel better yeah i know that mine is worse do you have a tissue yeah i have something you can borrow. Thanks. God, I can't wait for tomorrow. Wait. Wait, but curse didn't... I'm having trouble. Go back.
Starting point is 01:22:32 As a rhyme connoisseur. Girls, yeah, I know that mine is worse. It was curse. So what did you get? Worse. Okay, got it, got it. Borrowed tomorrow. So it's not that everything you say rhymes.
Starting point is 01:22:50 It's that everything is an A-B rhyme scheme. Yeah, you don't need to be. It's only A-B. If I had a critique of this TikTok, it's that she waits too long between the rhymes. And there's not any rhythm to what anyone else is saying, so that you forget what was even is this too severe i think um it were this the case in society in order to maintain this law um i think if she messes up she should be put to death i think that would be the only way to go
Starting point is 01:23:18 i don't think she's able to mess up i think that's the curse she can't make a mistake her brain is being controlled by the curse she has to write her brain decides the path of words that she can take okay you see how you don't remember that i said mistake the first time and i'm rhyming with it and it's like okay that doesn't remind me i'm putting you to death. I hate my curse. Really? I hate my curse. You are a nerd. I hate my curse. Fiddlesticks. I hate my curse. Really? What could be worse than this?
Starting point is 01:23:58 I hate you. You speak in bad pickup lines. Listen to this. Are you a parking ticket? Because you've got fine written all over you. I stand corrected. Are you a parking ticket? Because you've got fine written all over you. I stand corrected. You have negative riz. Wait. This and riz?
Starting point is 01:24:11 That's a slant rhyme. I just want to throw out, she really liked the first part of the joke. She was like, are you a parking ticket? And she was like, no. That's crazy.
Starting point is 01:24:23 What an absurd idea. Come on, Cass. Well, that's... Okay, so now it's just. What an absurd idea. Come on, Cass. Well, let's... Okay, so now it's just rhyming within the same. Everyone else is... Oh, I thought someone else was saying... Is she going to say now you have the rhyming one? Cass, we're late for class.
Starting point is 01:24:35 Oh, that rhymes. Can you curse us for today? Come out in a few seconds. What the... Whoa. Oh, okay. She's physically compelled. Oh, my God. That's me. Okay okay that was pretty good i loved it so the curse changes every day yeah yeah i thought it was like
Starting point is 01:24:53 daily curse no that's why it was called daily curse oh yeah okay now now who's on their back too ambitious i would love one that was just like, you're a gun. You have a hundred guns and they're firing all the time. When you speak, your words are actual bullets. Bleak. When you speak, your words are bleak. Okay, rhyme boy. Rhymes I must seek.
Starting point is 01:25:18 His rhymes are strong, not weak. It's a riddle. Open my door, it must not creak. I don't know how to do that. Limit words, I mustn't speak. I also have the word count curse. That doesn't mean I put him to death. But I suppose it could be worse.
Starting point is 01:25:37 You, close one. So I think these ones are less meme-y, more dramatic. Dreamy. Anastasia, cut it. Your soulmate has seen you 192 times. And then it goes up again.
Starting point is 01:25:54 He has a knock against the window. It keeps going up. He's holding a stereo, but he's using it to hit against the window to try to bring it. He's holding it. It's out of battery battery so he's just... He knocks it through the window. Boom!
Starting point is 01:26:12 That is extremely funny. Oh no. Ah, nice. I knew my boyfriend was my soulmate. Hey babe, so what number did you get? It's not going to go up. That's not a lot of times, is it? Don't play dumb. We're not talking about like a day.
Starting point is 01:26:30 You've only seen your boyfriend 200 times. Yeah, because I do this. We've done 150 episodes. I've seen you roughly 150 times. Oh, but let me check the number. Oh, my podcast host has seen me 20 times. Who could that be? Oh, you're blind. Oh. My podcast host has seen me 20 times. Who could that be? Who could that be?
Starting point is 01:26:46 Oh, you're blind. Oh, right. Okay. Which moons your... Oh. Weird color for the text. That's getting pretty challenging. Don't play dumb. I got zero, which means your soulmate is some other dude.
Starting point is 01:27:00 What? No. I swear I would never. Then explain to me how your number is over a hundred clearly there's someone who's more important than me in your life this guy's fucking nerd yes this is the uh what was it what did you say i'm a nerd oh fiddlestick i hate my curse golly goodness i hate my curse oh that's actually that's the voice I would do as Lord Lichor. Oh, that's a good one. I hate my curse.
Starting point is 01:27:27 I hate my curse, and I wish for it to not be worse. I'll get that king candy. I'll put him in a hearse. I'm going to kill him is what I mean. I'm going to take his life. Ooh. Am I human or am I a tiny dancer?
Starting point is 01:27:44 But I am going to kill him, to be clear. Before, killing him. Jaden broke up. Yeah, it sucks. The worst part is I have no idea who my soulmate could be now. I mean, Jaden was my first. There's no other guy that I've seen this many times. Hey, do you have an extra book I can borrow?
Starting point is 01:28:01 Your soulmate has seen you 193 times. He has one book. he's always asking to borrow others it's just it's just name it oh like his name is book haver or like oh the name is above johnny bookson this is another one as well like soulmate connection you can because there was that one where she like heard her soulmate fart you remember that like usually you heard them like going to the bathroom you can hear what your soulmate is doing right yeah yeah i remember that one it's okay i mean if we start looking now i'm sure we'll find him in no time you know what the only thing i want to do now is just go home and relax in my bed
Starting point is 01:28:41 is it the bed? Is it the soulmate? Is it a brother? Does it make that noise every time they see you? Wait, so it's a cliffhanger? Yeah, well, there's part two now. Oh, my God, I can't wait. Do we get resolution, Jacob, or are you leading us to a death? Yeah, yeah, you do. Okay, great.
Starting point is 01:28:59 Jacob, will we be able to finish completely, to burn in the oven? Mom? Mom, hey, so this uh soulmate thing just like any algorithm it has glitches right no honey as far as i know it's never made a mistake in the history of mankind as you know i'm an archaeologist and as you know this happens to everybody mission control for like the algorithm or whatever? I'm never going to find my soulmate. He's seen me zero times.
Starting point is 01:29:30 I almost wish I had that problem. What do you mean? What happened? So get this. Last night, I was completely alone in my room. Imagine your soulmate's like, I've been watching you. I've seen you a hundred times. Last night, I was completely alone in my room,
Starting point is 01:29:49 and my count goes up by one. Oh, that's freaky. What if he was watching you through your window? Oh, hell no. I'm getting curtains. You don't have curtains? Oh, hi, honey. You have good ideas.
Starting point is 01:29:59 So, I've been thinking about investing in some curtains. What is he doing? Why is there a gypsy? Yeah, I think I'm investing in some curtains. What is he doing? What is he doing? Jigsaw. Yeah, I think I'm investing in curtains. Me thinks I'll be covering her. Horrible parents. They're like, my child is not going to have curtains in their room. Hey, mom, I'd love to have a mattress on my bed frame.
Starting point is 01:30:18 Yeah. No, honey. You need to not have curtains so your soulmate can see you. In all the history of mankind, no one's ever had curtains. No one's ever had curtains. You're in window civilization. Yeah, we're in window world. That would be a fun addition, and they don't go into it.
Starting point is 01:30:36 Okay, we can look into it. We can look into it. Sure thing. Mom, are you stupid? Huh. Sure thing. Mom, are you stupid? oh no okay hold on i hope it's not followed it's like i was joking i mean oh is this gonna end up actually lord licorice as his as her soulmate well what do you think this is like because the other trope we don't see as much in this it's like a very fanfic-y trope it's like jeff the killer oh are they gonna murder me or are we in love like oh i've been kidnapped by the vampire and but we fall in love kind of thing what if the killer is stalking her but her soulmate is stalking the
Starting point is 01:31:32 killer oh and he's like a secret agent they're in love he's actually like i know i'm teenaged but i'm actually an agent for the cia you might think that I'm not old enough to do that I guess I'm just a little ahead of the times he's 38 I'm just a teenager like you or what if and I think we're being a little too hard on the serial killer for one he's neurodivergent in a minor
Starting point is 01:31:57 and he's a sweetie and he's an emperor for two he's just using process of elimination to make it easier for him to understand where his soulmate is so he just has to kill everybody until he's gotten down to... Until his number goes up to one. Right, exactly. He's on the loose.
Starting point is 01:32:12 Where was he? He used to be on the tights. Imagine if he's sneaking up on someone and then stabs him and they turn around and they see his number goes up to one. He's like, no. Or imagine that... I don't want to imagine that.'s twisted yeah that is pretty messed up you watch family guy or something it's pretty dark god he's self-focused this cannot be happening my soulmate is a serial killer this just in he was last seen on woodbrook avenue This is just hanging out. No he's not. Dude, the idea of a newsman.
Starting point is 01:32:46 Just hanging out, not saying anything. Just going like, oh. We just found him. Our news drone is now just following him. There's no windows, so we can kind of... Thankfully everyone has curtains, right? Thankfully everyone has curtains, right? Yeah, we can kind of just see him wherever,
Starting point is 01:33:02 because we live in glass houses here. Don't throw stones. Scene on Woodbrook Avenue. And I think I'm his next victim. It's fine. I mean, all my doors are locked. My windows are closed. And I'm sure the police will find him before he gets to me anyway.
Starting point is 01:33:17 What was that? Oh, my God. That must be him. And he just picked the lock. Is that a Minecraft impact sound? He's like, I just picked the lock because he just picked the lock. Is that a Minecraft impact sound? He's like, I just picked the lock because I just took a lock picking at my local community college. Loser, that's the worst part. I hate this guy.
Starting point is 01:33:35 Oh, my number just went up. I love you. Oh my god, we just installed that extra lock. Sounds like he gave up. This house needs infrastructure. It's missing everything. While he's breaking in. They're like, you'll never break in because I've added an extra lock.
Starting point is 01:33:51 She's on Amazon ordering one. You have to open the door to add a new lock. Honey, what was all that noise at the door just now? Nothing worse, mom, in the world. You didn't notice someone was breaking into our damn curtainless house? Anyway, honey, I got you some curtains, and she just has, like, a stake. Yeah. Not even close to that. How'd you not see that?
Starting point is 01:34:15 It's not like we have curtains. Oh, excuse me. It's a real good idea. Check in on my daughter. What now? Probably the serial killer. The window. I forgot to lock the window.
Starting point is 01:34:26 Oh. There you are. Ooh. Ooh. Charmed. Charmed, I'm sure. Lord Licorice at your disposal. We were right.
Starting point is 01:34:42 It was Lord Licorice. Oh. Oh my god. Finally, my sweet. What if the TV's still on and the news anchor goes, Oh shit, look out! She's like, wait, let me turn up the TV. Lord Licorice was spotted
Starting point is 01:34:56 at local teenage girl house. Floating around doing all his bullshit. I'm not gonna do nothing about it, but somebody should probably check this thing out. Keep an eye out. He just goes back on his phone sorry something in my throat please don't kill me kill you god no i'm not here to kill you i'm just here to tell you i hate my power i hate my i have been watching you but just because i was trying to get a chance to talk to you then why choose breaking and entering over i don't't know, knocking on my front door?
Starting point is 01:35:28 Well, I figured you wouldn't answer the door to a stranger when there's a killer on the loose. So I figured I'd break in like a killer might. Hey, look out for the killer. So I went and practiced lockpicking to make sure that I could get into your house so that you would know that I wasn't like some sort of bad guy. I'm not like a weirdo. Hey, be nice to me. Also, I've been waiting to get into your house so that you would know that I wasn't like some sort of bad guy. I'm not like a weirdo. Hey, be nice to me. Also, I've been waiting to get a chance to talk to you 194 times.
Starting point is 01:35:51 Yeah, that's crazy. Sounds like somebody has not met this one, okay? Or to a stranger when there's a killer on the loose. How do I know you're telling the truth anyway? I mean, if I wanted to kill you, wouldn't I have done it by now? What a charmer. What a little charmer. Things to never say, by the way.
Starting point is 01:36:07 Red flag. If I wanted to kill you, I would have done it by now? Yeah. Oh, and she's like, oh, good. Her mom comes in. What's going on, sweetie? Who's your friend? Mom, this guy just broke in and said that he wasn't going to kill me because if he wanted to, he would have done it by now.
Starting point is 01:36:23 Oh, good. Well, I made brownies. Does he want one? here's some cortons i started i started i started googling there's there's curtoils you're telling me about the mom's on the news i'm still looking at local idiot trying to figure out what a curtain is a serial killer the history of humanity or whatever wait a minute but you fit like all the descriptions of the killer that the police have been putting out right that's the second reason i wanted to talk to you i need your help finding the real murderer the real murderer you mean you were framed yeah something like that anyway i think help you find the guy who did it wait answer, answer the question. You can't just say...
Starting point is 01:37:05 His name is Jaden Potchwist. You can't just say, yeah, something like that. I don't know. About being a murderer. Like, so you matched the description of the murderer and you broke into my house. Like, yeah, but it's because I'm trying to catch the murderer. This is why everyone thinks Lord Lickeridge is evil. He's always doing shit like this.
Starting point is 01:37:22 If I could kill you, I would have already done it. Anyway, I think you can help me find the guy who did it. His name is Jaden. Lord Lickeridge. Don't say it's Jaden Wells. Yeah. How'd you know that? It's her boyfriend.
Starting point is 01:37:35 It was her boyfriend, Jaden, who just broke up with her. She broke up with her or something. They broke up because he was like, I love killing. Because they were like, I haven't seen you enough. My count is zero. Yeah time my count is zero yeah my count zero and every time i look at you it doesn't go up so bye time to go kill so i'm just gonna i'm gonna murder so i so i could use process of elimination i like that spider-man is in this universe yeah yeah he should be helping yeah how do you know that's why they have no curtain so that he can see what's going on we know him or something there's another spider-man poster
Starting point is 01:38:09 he's my ex as of one day ago oh that's the teen rom-com acting where they're like um yeah that's my ex as of one day ago. So this is happening right now? And I thought mom said life was going to get better after high school. Come back from commercial. I can't believe my boyfriend is trying to kill me. Rats. I'm here to kill you. Finally, someone's's gonna do it
Starting point is 01:38:46 uh he's right behind me with a knife these were fun i like these wait so is there no par five i i want to i still want more of the expository dialogue between these two i need to find out why he's wanted for murder. Well, let's just say I'll never tell. Yeah, something like that. What is it? I missed it. Wake up, babe. Where's part five, though?
Starting point is 01:39:13 Oh, God, wait. There's so many parts. Because it says stalker part five. Yeah, there's a lot of parts. Should we finish this on nights? Yeah. The grand spoilers. And the finale, you can see over on Patreon.
Starting point is 01:39:25 Well, I'll say we'll finish it if people actually want to see the content. We'll watch it in our private time. Probably not. But thanks for joining us. Thanks for coming around. Thanks for looking into our window. Yeah, thanks for having a look at me. We don't have curtains around this camera, so we can't keep it private.
Starting point is 01:39:42 You don't have what? We don't have curtain. I mean, neither me nor my mother have any idea. I just went to the fandom wiki, and I found out that curtains do not exist in the Candyland universe. So that little lord. So that King Candy's police state can operate with full autonomy. So that they can decide whether or not you're allowed to have a number on the back of your head or whatever. King Candy's police state can operate with full autonomy. So they can decide whether or not you're allowed to have a number in front of your head or whatever.
Starting point is 01:40:09 Thanks for listening, everybody. Much love. We're going over to patreon.com slash sadboys. Where we have it. Where we have Sad Boys Nights, our premium Patreon podcast. And what were we gonna talk about today? We were gonna watch something.
Starting point is 01:40:20 Oh, the Pokemon POVs. Oh, we're gonna watch some Pokemon POVs and maybe some more of these. I've got the rhyming curse. I hate my I hate my power. I hate my curse. This is your dick
Starting point is 01:40:35 falls off. Oh, I hate this one. This is worse. Oh, it's a forever thing, but you get a new curse every day. We had every episode established Snap Boys With a whole team We love you Bye Moving on, how she dead looking, that future girl. Future girl, yeah, we on now.
Starting point is 01:41:05 Take my money, go away, all you wanted. Girl, you're too rich for me.

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