Sad Boyz - Super Bowl Halftime Disaster

Episode Date: February 14, 2026

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Welcome to Sadboys, a podcast about feelings and other things also. I'm Jarvis. I'm Jordan. What are we doing today? What are we doing today? It's a question I ask every day. Every single day. Why am I awake again?

Why am I here? What has happened? Every morning I do get something like that. I go like, oh. I do feel some many mornings like I've just been jacked out of the Matrix. We get up in that big bowl of milk. Yeah. Hopefully it's milk.

I'm naked. mole rat every morning so today we're going to try something a little new we're going to give our agenda that we'll be going through this episode um we're political centrists good place to start well yeah yeah that's the other agenda is um everyone should love me and no one should be mean to me yes yeah that was a big one for me i have no principles and i'm willing to compromise for money don't put your seat back on airplanes uh if you are on an airplane you have to watch that movie burnt with bradley cooper about two rows in front of me that's it ever watch that for real That sounds like, oh, I saw, there's this NFL show called Hard Knocks where they follow a few teams like throughout the season and there will be all these like kind of conversations, casual conversations that come up in between meetings and stuff that players are talking about.

And one of them, there's this player, I think Bobby Wagner is his name. He watched the Martian off the entirety of the Martian off of someone else's screen on a plane with no sense. or subtitles. Dude. And he then said, I loved it. I'm afraid to watch it now with sound because I enjoyed it so much. Oh, dude, he's going to be so surprised. He's on Mars.

Yeah. He might not even have clarified that. What are these red rocks? Are they in Arizona? Oh, he's this guy boobin on his potatoes. Why is he farming? Go on. So today our main topic is going to be the dueling Super Bowl halftime shows of equal quality, of course.

Jedi. Seth. You choose which one. Or not. I mean, we'll find out. It's a, yeah, it's a Pokemon red and blue of halftime shows. Um, but- More purple, okay? Also, there's a couple of Super Bowl ads we're gonna talk about. It really was just like three types of ads this Super Bowl. Three types of ads in decreasing quality and increasing weirdness. I got a question for you. What a? Why are you looking so damn slick, bro? I, hey, here's the thing. You bought me this shirt. I did buy you that shirt. Um, I, uh, cool. I wanted to, I wanted to switch it up.

I wanted to show up. You know, I wanted to look my best, show up my best. Black excellence. Um, I wanted to dress for the job I want. You're not a, you're a model. And the job I want is, uh, to work on Wall Street as an analyst. Getting into, you've been hearing about this parley stuff. I'm curious.

I've been hearing about parlays. And I'm trying to parlay that into, uh, me, deleting the numbers of my bank account. Yeah, that's true. Are you, do you have any, I know we've talked about, like, neither of us are really, like, gambly people in game or otherwise.

Right. But have you ever, are you ever tempted? Because we both went to Vegas together. We did, yeah. And neither of us really gambled. Neither of us gambled. Is there something,

do you think, like, the epidemic of, of not just, obviously, it's because of marketing and finitious business practices, but like the other reason that gambling is connecting so much especially with young dudes is it's like simulating agency it's like oh yeah pretend business kind of i think there's a little bit of that i definitely get those vibes with and this may be a this may be a dig at some people and i don't want to intend it that way but there is a thing that happens uh with crypto where someone like guesses right and becomes wealthy

or makes a lot of money on a crypto thing. And it's really just right place, right time. But then suddenly they are acting like Warren Buffett. They're the authority on the topic. And it's like, see, that's the thing. It's like I think that I am more likely to attribute any sort of success in that arena to luck than anything else. But I don't like I don't really gamble outside of buying Pokemon cards.

And even that, it's not to me, gamble as Pokemon cards prices have gone up I've bought fewer Pokemon cards because it bums me out yeah it's like become less fun the more hype around it well your part I mean you it's I think it's nostalgia and love of the brand first right like yeah it's like I well because that's you know peeps and I talk about this a lot uh because we like collecting the cards and like the art and I play the game um the card game video game whatever uh and I watch the competitions I go to worlds every year and And just like seeing the very fleeting almost like what feels like a bubble of a bunch of people like getting into a thing that don't really care about it except for the price. It is.

There is something like it's like no ethical consumption or whatever. But like there is something about like zipping over to bonds to grab some very specific spice that they only sell. in bulk. I'm like, well, I don't really need three years of Garam Massala, but okay. And then seeing one of those machines completely tapped out and like an adult walking away with clearly all of them, that's like demoralizing the, the, the book, pokey center machines or something. That and then just like Facebook Marketplace is a place I go to get pissed off because it's it's often just like Costco releases something and then I go and face and it's sold out immediately because is the people at, I was talking to like a Costco employee and they were like, I don't know how

these people find out before we do that we're getting shipments, but they line up. Yeah, I guess they got the plug. They have the plug somewhere in distribution or something. They line up around the block, buy everything out, and then regular people can't really get to it. But the thing was, this hype didn't always, like I remember I was with Eddie a couple years ago. we were like shopping for a party that we were about to host and I just grabbed some Pokemon cards

because they were like sitting in the aisle with everything else and that was the fun thing. It's like ooh, ooh, I saw it in the wild. Let me grab this. Yeah, sometimes I'll zip by it. Like I don't even really collect magic anymore. Yeah. But I will, if I'm like leaving a cafe or something

and there's a independent card store nearby, I'll drive past, hop in and grab like two packs, give Wanda a friend or something. Yeah. It's just like a, it reminds me. I got you a pack of something. Cigarettes. Yeah.

I'm trying to get, speaking of addictions. I don't know where I... I look so cool smoking cigarettes, but they're so bad and you shouldn't smoke them. Yeah, I can't do it. I think that... Think how cool. Especially the way you're dressed right now. They're fucking cool.

Here's a thing. So maybe we talked about this before, but I used to be allergic to cigarette smoke. Yeah, I used to like really fuck you. And so my mom, like, growing up, quit smoking, which was very nice of her. But as a result, I'm no longer allergic because you're like allergy shift. but I am so grossed out because I had this like allergic aversion to them for so long it it put me off of it forever you think maybe wronging some associations with one like a good friend who like start smoking maybe on the podcast that next to you that could like on the podcast

okay wait wait okay imagine we're talking about um I don't know uh you know in theory um someone someone in the white centrist political space says the edward you know bread and butter Bread and butter. Um, do fuck? Yeah, that doesn't do it for me. Maybe we get stage cigarettes.

Where you like blow into them? Oh, and then they make, we had those. I had those. I sucked all the talcum powder out by accident. That's a vivid memory. We,

yeah, Anastasia and I did a couple of sketch shows where we had some of those prop cigarettes and that was funny because I would just do my transatlantic accent while pretending to smoke. It feels like it's just coming out.

Yeah. Um, peeps. Peeps has arrived Peeves has arrived With Ollie Hi buddy Hey Ollie

Good morning Hey Ali Oh Oh my gosh Hello He's just the boy Thank you for the hug Nice sir

Thank you for the hug Mr. Ollie Oh Yeah he's a cuddlebug Yes come Come to me Um Oh okay you want

Okay Ollie says Give me the Pats Ali's big challenge And Olly on bagel Ollie's up Always's looking at a bagel Oh

there he goes it was nice it was fun while lested my god he's driving um but yeah i'm sad to say that like i found myself recently wanting to sell some of my Pokemon cards because it's giving me anxiety how there it feels like all this hype around it and i like don't want to have that like usually when there's like a huge like it like turns into something that now feels like I need to look at it or care about it in a different way. And I want to opt out of that. You know what I mean? So I've had expensive, very expensive cards before. And I felt this way maybe in 2021. And I sold some of those things and kept like lesser or lower graded versions of them because I just wanted to have the card. Yeah. And I can sell the like. Yeah, exactly. So I could sell

the really expensive one and then still have one for myself. And I've been. And I've been. Then I've felt that way again recently for the first time in a long time. We're talking poke. Talking Pokemon. You wouldn't get it. Talking Pokemon. Does the current state of the Pokemon market make you not want to collect as much? Yeah, I haven't tried a single time to get the newest set for extended heroes.

Yeah. It's like another prismatic. And when the first time I read a tweet that said this is the new prismatic, I went, I'm out. It's just everyone's there because people talk about it now. like it's the, oh, this is the money bag. They're releasing the new like money bag and we all have to like get the money. There's like one card I really want from the set and I'm like, why would I? I know.

I can't make myself care about it. So like I'll just, I'll just wait. I'm like, I don't, I could be wrong. And also it doesn't matter if I'm wrong because I can always trade stuff that I have to acquire new things. But it's like if I see something in a store, I'll get it. I'm not like bending over backwards to try to do it anymore because it's just like so demoralizing and it's like you can only spend so much time on the target app or the Walmart website with it crashing or spamming for me it just treats me like a bot it like they always think I'm a fucking bot

I have noticed I've been at your house a few times during like Pokemon Center drops and your IP specifically I think Pokemon Center has blocked because if I'm on data I can get through if I'm on your Wi-Fi immediately hate the cut of mine and I don't even I'm not even It might be a job, honestly. And meanwhile, it's like you get those like bot networks on Discord that are like secured five million like sales. We got past the bot detection. It's like the bot detection is keeping me out and keeping the box. Children's hobby ruined.

Yeah. At this point, I just look forward to when I go home to visit my dad. Yeah. He lives in like the middle of nowhere and the Walmart in his town always has something. I just look forward to like going to get a few things like when I go home. It's like a treat now. It's not, I have to have it because I'm going to miss out. I've gotten past the FOMO.

Yeah, that's, that's, I've also gotten past the FOMO, which is, it's a good place to be. But I think it's probably the FOMO thing probably feels a lot different when you have a in-person community attached to it. Because like, you can't miss out on the community you have, right? If the prerequisite for being part of it is the spending and is the getting as opposed to like actually celebrating the hobby. Yeah, I mostly just like send all the Pokemon memes to. two peeps that I find.

Thank you, thank you. Ollie's been cracking packs. He gets like one card per every few packs. That's shitty. He's not interested in any packs except for, or any cards except for two grandbles so far. Okay. Have you seen the rabbit that opens packs?

Yes, I love that rabbit. Yeah. All right, that's enough of that. All right. So, all right, now enough of that nerd shit. Now for the jock show. How about that super? You see that?

Let's go. Let's go. We watch the Super Bowl above our very heads right now in Travis's living room. In the sky. We watch in heaven, actually. Yes, we unfortunately all passed away. But thank you posthumously. Look, the Super Bowl's tomorrow, but we're assuming we're going to die afterwards.

Right. Well, if you're watching this, I will one day die. What? Yeah. Oh, wait. Yeah. Not and I think I know what. Oh.

That I don't know. Oh, don't worry about it. Okay. I won't. Don't stop. and then me when I'm no longer believe in. Super Bowl was good. It was between the Seahawks,

the Seattle Seahawks and the New England Patriots. The Seahawks were the favorite team, but they had a journeyman quarterback, Sam Darnold. They had a really good defense. They had a serviceable offense. They had the life hack of playing football better. They did. Well, they were expected to play football better,

but then you had the, they've never been the underdog, really, but here they were the underdog, the New England Patriots, with their second year quarterback, first year head coach. And... To Ashley, I think the only attendee

of the Super Bowl watch party that was supporting the Pats and had to... Yeah, she came wearing a Drake May shirt. And then, which several different people did they think it was, he was Manning. Someone thought it was Tom Brady.

And I was like, I saw, and this is, probably fake and I hate that that's I just say that about everything now but I know that is the pre that should be at the beginning of the show yeah anything we talk about as a 50% chance of not being real that well that's it's like in in luckily we're willing to couch it rather than but it was I couldn't tell if it was a sketch or not but it was um it was like inviting people who don't care about football to the Super Bowl party and they played the Super Bowl from like 10 years ago oh that's good cool and I was like that's very funny but yeah we were watching along with it and

unfortunately I made the critical error of watching the wrong Super Bowl halftime show. You watched, wait. I slipped up. You watched fucking bad, Bonnie, dude? Who, bad is in the name? None of us who have ever freaking heard of, dude. Who is that?

I wanted to watch an American, not someone from Puerto Rico. Wherever that even is. It certainly isn't in America, I'll tell you what. How could that even be? I will say that, I will say that, so one of my, one of my good friends from college and roommates um louise louise louis is a puerto rican louis bunny and he so it was actually at louis's wedding that i first learned about bad bunny uh his wedding was in porto rico i went this is like six seven years ago but i uh we went to the wedding and i was amused like bad bunny

he was playing somewhere locally. And he was big in Puerto Rico, of course, but he had not become like the largest star in the world. And I was like, and he was like, you haven't heard a bad bunny? And I was like, well,

I mean, I only listened to good bunnies. And I basically been making that joke for a decade at this point. Well, it's only becoming more relevant thanks to his growth. I mean, I remember it being kind of a litmus test on, um,

like it's like, are you a kind of person that when you misremember something says that it's the Mandela? effect or just accepts that you misremembered it where a bunch of people were like like the grown up type response to finding out that bad bunny had like the most Spotify streams right imaginable like two years ago you were either someone that went like oh I haven't heard of them that's huge I guess I'm just like not part of that's Ikeyes but there's people everywhere or this is bullshit this is like an industry plan no one knows who this is I don't understand what that is they don't have music

anywhere but my state this is that lying I remember seeing so much of that and just being like Mr. Peace tweeted about Caleb I forget his name he's like a podcastering comedian uh Keehan Caleb Heron yeah

and then I don't even know who this guy is oh right when he was number eight on like the most influential people because he's like a hilarious comic and uh and this review was like upset he's like quantifiably I guess more it's like it's just a transparent reveal of like but but numbers bigger and so better less valuable person yeah time magazine should

go to the person with the most instagram followers bad bunny performance was beautiful it was an incredible celebration of culture which of course um is the one thing that conservatives hate more than anything else felt like a musical uh like it was shot incredibly it was shot for the television like if you were there you couldn't like see everything like super well um which makes sense because it's so far away. I think that's the case for any stadium show because you're so far away. I mean, if you watch that after him, you were probably looking at the Jumbo Tron. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then he was using the Jumbo Tron. I don't know how many trons of Jumbo they had because I know that at least one of the big screens was being used

for the performance. You know, is showing like lyrics and messages and stuff. What's the Tron part of that? Megatron. Oh, because that's what it turns into. It's a transfer. Yeah. Not that scary. To be honest, not much of a villain. Is it? But like, yeah, for those you didn't see it, recommend watching it. You know, it's what, 10 minutes? Yeah, it's on YouTube now.

It's a joyous celebration. It's really good. You don't have to know Spanish. You don't have to know Bad Bunny's music. It's just like a sick show. And I feel like that's the crazy thing. It's like the people just like kind of wanted to dislike it. Yeah.

And that's the, you know how Trump is like was going to. wanted to be in the theater business before real estate and how when he talks about Phantom of the Opera, you can tell he's like a real theater nerd. And I feel like he's exposing his grift because, I mean, newsflash, by the way, he might be grifting a little tad.

Okay, well, you voted for him. But excuse me, I voted 10 times. Under legal names, you know that. Under different legal identities. And that's a joke for any government officials listening. Um, I would never vote. I'm not a loser.

I haven't seen... You're not old enough. You're not old enough to vote, right? Oh, no. I do anyway, but I don't know. Um, that's also a joke. Um... Dude, the FBI, they're like, fuck. Damn it.

He said, psych! No! Sike that from the record. I haven't watched the full halftime show yet, but from what I've seen, like, first of all, just a beautiful. setup. It's just genuinely like very well shot and like live production wise. It's like it like there's like one pre-recorded signal like it looks so good. But I was the double dolly shots and

shit. Most of what I've seen was from two um Hispanic people watching it and like reacting to it and just like seeing their reactions to like everything they recognize from their picture was like so nice and like the thing with the capture was like this is why representation matters. Yeah. And I was like it's so nice to just see and then versus see. seeing any white mom from the Midwest being like, what the hell? It's annoying because there's not even, uh, and I think that there's parts of American culture are like not seeking to understand. Yes.

Yeah. You know what I mean? Like I think there, there has been like a simmering cultural, cultural resentment on the part of. And England has this issue as well. Despite being like arguably, it's like older, like white specifically British. British culture, it's got the age or whatever, but the history, sorry, not the history, but like the cultural footprint of white culture a lot of the time isn't very sustainable. Because a lot of it is, and I'm talking specifically about within a white supremacist set up, don't add me. The design of a racially focused supremacy culture is it's about suppressing everything and creating like a monoculture or a hegemony, right?

And when that's the thesis of your thing, you can't have anything. You can't distinguish colors if you're colorblind. You can't, it just doesn't work like that, right? Now, what the solution to that could be an open and welcome embrace of other cultures and a melding pot, right? Yeah. However, that feels hard because it feels like you have to make personal sacrifices when you've been told. We've been told your whole life that you are. default and that anything strange indifference should scare you and that's actually right.

Just speak English? Question mark? You're scaring me. But then like if your end goal is to boil something down to like a single entity, how do you define yourself, right? What do you celebrate? And a lot of the time, rightly so, conversations about especially American political mission, climate, et cetera, focuses on actively, like, aggressive parts of white supremacy, the things like subjugation, redlining, abuse of power, political, police overreach, etc, etc. But the more like, almost insidious, quiet, silent version of it is how many people just hate when you celebrate. It's not about, like, oh, this is white genocide.

It's people coming in and they're erasing the culture. No, it's not about erasing the culture. It's about you by yourself having a party. You aren't allowed to do and not invite me. It does feel like that scene in sinners where like the white people are trying to come to the kickback. It's worse because I can't have it. I forget the exact analogy, but something along the lines of one baby is in its crib and has 10 toys. Another baby has no toys in the crib next to it.

they put one toy in that crib, baby starts to cry. The toy falls out of that crib, someone picks it up, gives it back to the baby. The other baby starts to cry. Like, well, you give me the same amount now. It's, um, I give you $20 and then I take 10 back and you're like, whoa, whoa, whoa, don't tread on me, bro. Actually, whoa, no taxation without representation. What the hell? It would be a really good, like, libertarian children's book.

I mean, speaking of taxation without representation, like Puerto Rico is like, is essentially, a colonized territory by the U.S. And it's like so like I have some friends there like who I talk to. And I just remember, oh my God, like it's just like constant blackouts, loss of power. And it's like ever since like Hurricane Maria, it's like Russell's family is, you know, his mom's half of families per weekend. And like they wanted to go back. And you know, but then it's also like. like they're getting up there in age, so it's like not safe because like they don't have

someone to care for them. And so it's like the drain of the government is taking from, but then also like giving them like little nominal, little nominal acknowledgments like, yeah, you can, the populace can vote, but not if they're registered there. You have to like move to a inland state, right? Yeah, no, you can't vote if you're just. And that's a thing. It's like, it's a part of the US, but it's also like, it's like depending on who you ask, it's not a part of the U.S. How could you possibly argue that it is

being treated equally? Yeah, well, first of all, it's like, doesn't, it's like they're paying taxes, not getting representation, not getting the same amount of representation, like, don't have senators, but have like some like representatives, like, but not really, like, it's not true

representation. If not a state, there's a whole statehood debate. And that's not for me to weigh in on because it's like for the community, but I think that the perception on the ground that I've heard is really just like, yeah, like America colonized us and now we're getting the worst ends of everything, which is like, we're not getting the aid that we need from disasters, like Maria. There's infrastructure, there's infrastructure issues. Like Bad Bunny climbs the power, the power poles or whatever

during the, during the show. And like, that's like a very like powerful moment because it's an acknowledgement of like I saw some like right wing grifter people talking about like oh where that he'd do this like Puerto Rico can't get its like infrastructure together and it's like it's like yeah like you're draining it's like it's like you're squeezing this land and these people for resources while not helping them in their time of need and then pointing and laughing when they have uh infrastructural issues that should and could be like it's it's it's all america's fault essentially um but it's it's like in these and these are it's like they're americans like the portoican people should be considered americans but then they are it's like a second class they're american they're american to possessive to like the federal government with like an apostrophe no literally they're america's well to your point about the like they hate to see you celebrating it just reminds me of like i actually am supposed supposed to hold power over you. You aren't supposed to have any joy without my approval.

I'm not invited. Yeah, like, I need to be in on everything because I own you. Speak my language. The end this loop of like, oh, I'm not invited. Like, okay, do you want to be? No. I don't want to fucking be there. I don't like you people, but you have to let me come. Yeah, it's like my friends in Puerto Rico, like, have such a disdain for the American government. And that's before you get into any of the like continental united states based political stuff it's just like what have you done to our land our people like there's the like crypto um uh like a bunch of like crypto entrepreneurs move there uh to to kind of continue to use their wealth to try and extract resources you have the paul

brothers moving there because they have um an article i can't remember what it's called it's a it's a thing in Puerto Rico that in like the government in Puerto Rico to incentivize people from the continental US to move there and then they can be taxed differently and it's like a tax loophole where like allegedly like the Paul brothers like fly in and take a boat out so that there's not like a record of them being there and that way it looks as if from date to date they're spending the federally mandated amount of time to consider their residency in in Puerto Rico even though they're spending most of their time in their like other homes and like and then uh jake paul other places jake pool's still allowed to in his own mind publish like i hate this place i'm not a i'm not an expert

on this by any means and i'm more just like echoing sentiments that i've heard from people so i'm sure i'm like getting getting some stuff wrong but there's always going to be a subset in any kind of repressed culture there's always going to be a subset of citizens often a majority of citizens that support it because it's what they grew up with and what they were conditioned to love But like, that's not an indicator of it being right. I was thinking recently about how clavicular got frame-mogged. The main thing he seems to do. And so he was at ASU recently.

And I actually am going somewhere back to Puerto Rico with this. Now, he got arrested for using a fake ID. And it reminded me, this conversation reminds me of when we were in college, we went to a bar one time. and the bartender refused to believe that Luis's Puerto Rican ID was an American ID. That's really, oh, wow. And we had to sit there and explain to this man. And this is, like, not a joke. This, like, really happened in the real world in Atlanta, Georgia in, like, 2013.

I mean, I only, with, sometimes I feel like I get to be a, not a perfect case study, but, like, a good reference point for how much America will teach you about itself. Because, like, the schooling in the U.S. is deliberately restrictive with a lot of that stuff as well. But if you even remove that, and I'm only going on 21 years of observed culture abroad, and then actually living here for 10 years, there's no way that I would have said with confidence that Puerto Rico is part of the United States in the capacity we're talking about before three years ago? No, I mean, it's like it's because it just never, because it never came up.

It's like, there's definitely like European things like that where I'm like, oh, I didn't know that this island is actually a part of this country, you know. It's like, oh, the Isle of Man. I thought maybe that was, you know, like, I thought a bunch of dudes lived there. Yeah, I've heard people say like, oh, I just thought that was like a privately owned island from a rich guy or something. Because it just, it is weird, you know, because it's lost a time. Going back to the thing about the Super Bowl halftime show being like for the not for the people in the stadium. It's a callout. Some people were bringing up that it's for the people at home, the majority, the like 130 million people or whatever that tuned in.

Because the people who were there that get in the door price for the Super Bowl is like thousands and thousands of dollars. It's usually the elite of the elite who are actually present. Speaking of it being extremely expensive to get, I'm like, is there anything else I want to do about the half-time show? specific um because i do want to talk about how uh there was another half-time show the the half-time show the tpUS a half-time show and i mean what i'm wrong i said there was no such thing is a definable white american culture i want to talk about art and what what like like like i feel like what bad bunny is doing is art and i can't because i feel like it it not only is it expressing something with an art form, like music, music, dance.

It's evoking, like, commonalities and reference points. Within community. It, like, quite literally is, like, in jokes to something. Yeah, but it's also, like, doing this, like, it's like America is comprised of more than just the United States, you know, it's like, and then so he, like, lists the countries in Latin America, you know. But, and I want to say he talks about the Jones Act and how it hinders Puerto Rico. it's about, it's basically like an imposed, it's from 1920, it's like 100 years old, but it's like

essentially an imposed tariff, as I understand it, upon imports and saying that they have to go through, like mandates that all goods ship between U.S. ports, including Puerto Rico, be transported on U.S. built, owned, crude, and registered vessels. But it's not an occupied land. It's actually, it's treated very equally, actually. And then during crises like Hurricane Maria, the law had been created. criticized for complicating the delivery of relief supplies. It's just like shit, shitty shit all the way down.

But anyway, that artistic expression, it's like, it's message, it's audio, it's visual. It's a multimedia, multimodal performance that is saying something stands for something. And then you look at the TPA USA show, and I've been saving myself to not watch these clips. I've been monk-like. I've been living an ascetic. I've been, I did everything right. And they indicted me. They invited me.

Oh, sorry, wrong. I did everything right, and they invited me and here's my performance. Could we have been vague enough with outreach or something to have gotten an invitation to this? Just been like, yeah, we're like cultural critics, but we're, you know, we're kind of, you know, kind of conservative, you know. Oh, man. And sent them fake clips of us being, like, supportive of toilet paper USA or whatever. That's a good idea. That's a joke name.

Brantley Gilbert? No. Guardly Lonsalon. Listen, bro, you're sounding like a fucking immigrant. Oh, yeah, you're right. I don't even speak this land. What are they saying? Now we're talking.

My truck. I don't have a truck. All right. I've been seeing this clip everywhere. I need to know. Got it's small, isn't it? The venue's really small. Okay.

By the way, this was filmed. It was presented live, but it was filmed. There was some reporting that it was like taped in Atlanta. and presented as live, despite the fact that it wasn't. I mean, it's, you know, for any of the somehow, if somehow if you're blissfully unaware of the Grand Kirk Mafia Project of Turning Point USA, it's a mix of conservative think tank and propaganda machine that exists exclusively to suppress other cultures. Or it's, you know, it's about thinking and debate and stuff like that.

Yeah. And also, like, this whole. anti- Alternative Super Bowl thing is because people were upset about the bad bunny thing. Before they're like, we'll just do our own. Before he did the show. Before he did the show. It was the very concept of the wrong kind of American. The concept of the wrong kind of American doing a show in the wrong language.

It's like, got them so upset that they spent millions of dollars to make an alternative show. You know, Kendrix was like this as well where. I don't know how they reacted, but I have to imagine it was similar where they're like, well, it would have been better if a great American musician, not like one of the black ones. Not like that's scary. Not one of the ones that makes the most popular genre on the planet. Dude, oh my God. Can you get me, I don't know, like Carl, Kyle Urban or Keith Rock, Kyle Urban.

Kyle Urban. Carl Urban, Dread. Kid, Kid Brantley. Crunks Lango They all have Star Wars names Iga Bratollu Baga Brantley Gilbert

Hansolo Bagadino go I did just make myself mad again Which is the thing that I do When I think about the hypocrisy of like Saying that rap music is just like Bitches and Hoes and objectification of women And then it's like And now for our

Appropriator and Chief Kim Rock And he's like I love Underage girls Put me on the plane Brother man His whole thing is like it's not only a cosplay, like when it was, when he came out, but then also he has like, he has like pedophilic lyrics in some of his songs. And it's like crickets. And that's crickets because no one liked the song, but also crickets in terms of the discourse.

I'm getting ahead of myself and I'm just making myself mad. But it is like, Brantley. It is just so amazing. Honestly, almost like a testament to the conservative project that people are able to straight-facedly just say, I don't like that Kendrick is doing the Super Bowl. And when you ask what they would prefer, and they answer with like, I don't know,

whitely crack a turn or something. And then you ask, why? Because he's less popular and would do less for the Super Bowl. What is the thing you like different? And the only place they ever end up, because they're not allowed to say, I don't like it when people aren't white,

the only thing they can ever say is it's American it's un-American it's un-American the American guy is not dude it's like Colin Kaepernick you know it's like Colin Kaepernick was like hey police please stop murdering black people and then they were like get this guy

out of my god stop saying that kind of reminds it honestly I feel like Gamergate got this out of my system before I would have been vulnerable to actually changing my political budget you're on the front lines of GamerGate I was there they almost got me you were at the gate

I was at the gate January 6th on Kataku. This is what Bratley Gilbert sounds like. This is what Brantley Gilbert sounds like. Dude, this is... Oh, knuckle duster on the microphone. I almost thought he was an annoying loser, but that's actually really cool. Oh, that's... I just saw that. So badass.

He's going to fight. The chain. The chain. It's like... Oh, my God. This is like how a, like an RPG would stylize a weapon. Yeah, that's, well, it's a renegade version of like a flail. It's, um, it's like persona, but it follows like a K-pop man.

Yeah, that's right. And they like, one member is a, yeah, a touring South Korean K-pop member. I'm like, I don't know what's up with Japanese school. The mic stand, he like does a solo and the mic stand turns into a chain and then he like does like whip crack. Um, so I thought this was going to be music. Uh, is the crazy thing. How are there five guitars on stage? I can't hear a single one of them going on.

I mean, is it just like a backup performance? Also, does this look a little bit like Jake Paul? Yeah, this is, um, Jake Paul Peak CTE. He also, he keeps going where he's going. When he, his, uh, they were like, what pattern are you going to wear to the, to the, to the, to the half tank show? And he said all of them. Yes. He said every pattern, actually.

Is it Dan Flashes shit? Yeah, dude. It's the bigger the pattern, the better the person. The most complicated. So I wasn't expecting this. I can't even... I guess I wasn't expecting to love it so much. It's also like crazy how it's immediately appropriative.

Yeah. Oh, I mean, like, to say that, like, we have worse rap. We have bad rap. Is this, do we have subtitles? I can't even, I can't even understand what these mumble rappers are saying. I don't speak this language. What's the guy from King of the Hill? Oh, yeah, he's a crumcler or whatever?

No, it's, it's, um, boomhauer? Boomhauer. Boom, how. Is it boom, boom, boom. Um, Bobby. Boom, boom, how. Boom, boom, hower. Boom, hower.

Bobby? Skip it on something. I need to get back to my, I'm trying to remember how to do my Hank Hill. I can't really do it. I can do it in college, but I haven't watched King of Hell in a very long time. All right.

Let's listen more. All American halftime show. Oh my God. Look at the captioned it just a, we're already up. Trucks of four wheels and jump on in. Tell your friends. I, he heard him say, Boys in Blue. It really is, I mean, I think this has been said a lot, but he's just hitting the Bo Burnham

Pandron. Oh, yeah. It's, you know what I think maybe, again, we've talked as ad noisium about how getting frustrated with hypocrisy is, it's a little bit of a trick because it distracts us, but sometimes it is worth acknowledging, especially when it's like somebody's whole ideological project is like, you shouldn't be X and Y and then they're being X and Y. It is valuable to it out. This is not what they're listening to recreationally. They are not listening to this at home. I don't fucking believe them. No one is listening to Tom McDonald for anything other than to signal that they listen to Tom McDonald. As an 87 year old grandfather of 19, I actually don't like music. In the trenches. And this confirmed my suspicions. It's, it's, um, I don't even know what's got.

It's a lack of virtue, no virtues signaling. No virtues. Well, the whole point is you play this to point out that you actually are not pissed. I actually feel like it might be oops all virtue signaling because, because I, the, the kind of contrast I wanted to paint is that, yes, like, you could cynically describe anything bad bunny's doing as pandering to his audience. But like, in theory, in theory, cynically doing so. But like there's art message and also just people throwing ass because the music's good. Like Air chords pandering in that case is just like, well, if it wasn't compelling, then that wouldn't be the art. Right, right.

It's just a Wikipedia page describing something. It's like you're just, it's just music slop. You only, you know what I mean? You only like it because it's like good music. But it's like this is pandering. Again, it's this weird meta text where everything. in opposition, right? Like, this is appealing because it isn't something else. Meanwhile, it's the classic like gendered bathroom discussion where ultimately anybody who's

like not a weird conservative freak about that kind of stuff is like, okay, I don't fucking care. I'm not looking at other people while I'm going to the bathroom. Yeah, there is a Nick Shirley style, show me the children's style feeling people have about like gendered bathrooms where or gender neutral bathrooms where people are like, someone's going to go in and they're going to demand to see, they're going to do bad stuff. And it's like, that's you. Why? I guess I didn't even really think about overdoing that. Also, let's send them to jail then. Yeah.

It's like, I forgot that that was legal. Yeah. Oh, shit, we forgot to make it illegal. There's no predators right now. So like, problem's old. Thank God. The only reason people aren't doing crimes is lack of access. Well, it's because ice got them all out.

Because of the eye scanner you have to use before you go in the bathroom. Okay. Enough woke. Let's listen. Enough woke. Um. It's got a tail of over there. You get up as we know what it is.

All right. I gotta keep listening. The rap is bad. She'll be on a railroad. Huh? Lay back, swoon like a killer. Is it right?

Dirt road with the captain's song. Missouri, court. Oh, I'm sorry. My family likes country. I've heard this song before. Oh, you have. Yeah. Whoa.

It's a. It's like a jelly roll, like, correct? Wait, how many Spotify's does this guy have? Brantley, Grantley. How much Spotify's is that? Brantley, Brantley. Yeah, Brantley McSaintley or something. Lansley-Gonkels.

Everyone looks like Tim Poole. Like everyone in this. He's got three million monthly listeners. All right. I feel like I've heard this song since my childhood. Never heard this guy's name one time. So it's like, so is it, it's funny because like this guy is like a performer on the main stage and I think he has like a 10th of Charlie Puth's audience who did like who did the

national anthem lady Gaga was a guest she was like a secondary performer yeah Cardi B was just hanging out yeah yeah but we've got like skimming scarball are Scarbrough McDonnell like um they remember the WAP controversy by the way oh yeah dude that was dangerous. Do you remember? I mean, it happened. The entire world was just heard. Whoa. All right. I don't know what I did with my mouth just now. Who else we got? And of course, headlining. Apparently Kid Rock was like, well, he's already had to release a video about why his performance was bad. Oops. Oh, because he's untalented. He was like, oh, it was like out of sync and that wasn't my fault. Isn't it? I think, I mean,

I feel it like, it begs mentioning, this is not a show. Like, the half-time show. Like, the half-time show isn't just a concert. It's like by definition the huge, no matter whose it is, it's always this enormous elaborate, very specifically directed event. This is a montage of just a concert with like a venue capacity of 80. It's like, it's like live aid for racists. Yeah, but it goes to nothing. Well, it goes to Trump coin. Oh, they're turning to the right. From the right. Look at the bottom It starts on the right And then just goes around

The supposition here is that It's a wheel It's circular logic That's their whole thing I do like Just a 90 degree turn Please I'll take a

Yeah I guess they were centrist Yeah I guess they were centrist And then now they're taking 180 degree They're basically just turning around And going the opposite direction They're hitting a UE

Turning point UE essay. Okay. Implying the existence of other turning points. Is the ambulance to come and pick up the audience dying from bored? Is he? I'm not super familiar with Kid Rock's catalog. I'm pleased to say. I thought you're American.

I'm proud to be an American. Where at least I know I'm speaking Spanish. And I don't forget. Okay. Oh my God. The reflection says Kid Mark. Hilarious. It looks like it says.

Whid It does look like it says Kid mock It's almost Skidmark It's Skidmark It's Skid mock And then and then up top it Looks like it says Kid rough

Kid Room Um Oh no You got like kid What do you call him? Kid Rock Kid Rock Did he

Was I hearing like Jump's the Buggy Like from him Is that him? No that's no Because that's a very old That's a This right

here is not a test. I'm wrapping to the bees. Yeah. DMC. No, no, no. That's even earlier, I think. Sugar Hill Gang. Sugar Hill Gang.

Then he's probably a founding member of the Sugar Hill Gang. This looks like the background video on a rock band. I was going to say this is a guitar. You're going to hear that. You know, specifically whenever. You're going to start. Whenever I saw everyone like doing this,

I was like that they, look like they're shittily anime. They're rigged. Yeah, they're rigged for their guitar hero too. Yeah, the ones in the back row lower res than the ones closest to the stage. Yeah. And Kid Rock is the type of like,

he looks like a fake character that they'd make. Like a nondescript. We couldn't get like the Axel Rose like license. So we have this. Wheel flower. Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. All right, so Jorts. Whoa, you almost dropped it.

Oh, it is good. Okay. American Flores. With a weirdly tall American flag. Oh, he's flipping mic again. He has one move. Honestly, very functional knees for a 90-year-old. This is...

I'm like a little bit in disbelief. Mostly because so far, he's done a couple of mic flips, and then he just keeps jumping up and down. But there's not like choreog-it-it-doesn't look like there's choreography. He's dressed in like a weekend magician. Yeah. He's street clothes magician. He's street clothes magician.

He's done with work. Slash, he's uncle at the cookout. What are you kids listening to? Yeah. My name is Kay. No, I think I'll get in the pool a little later. I have trunks on under these. You can see him peeking out the bottom of the jeans.

And it's also weird that they're cutoffs. I've, he's cut them off at a stage I've never seen before. Well, he's cut them off. Okay, let's just continue. Maybe manual. Maybe he did it. It does look like he did it before he was. lots of days.

What if they were really distressed to the point where they just came off? They're tear away. My name is kid. My name is kid. I thought that when I found out that this was pre-recorded and lip synced, there was like, like there might be some world where people didn't believe that it was because it was such a raw, live vocal performance.

He's already, I've already heard words come out at the same volume when his mouth is away from the mic. Yes. And when he was just dancing to the song while the vocal track was called. Yeah, sure, backing track. But even the vocal, like vocal track, there it is. Yeah.

And he nodded. He knew he saw it. Oh, no. Oh, no. The chance with the fucking. It's just not, there's not even a shadow of a doubt that there's a performance happening. I mean, he's so drunk. You know what?

It's crazy, dude. They gave him some uppers and said, go joke up and down. If you figure it out. He didn't know what the song was going to be. This is exactly like the, like a mid card wrestler opening track. Like this plays and a bunch of people in the ring go like, oh, surprise, surprise guest. My name is key.

It does feel like he became famous at a time. Like to me, he's like the buying early. it's like when your drug dealer bought Bitcoin to do crime and then accidentally became rich. And then everybody goes, well, we have to listen to the opinions of John Bitcoin. Yeah, Doug. Nug, Nug Biddy. And then Nug Biddy, what do you think? It's like, well, as a financier.

Yeah, as someone invested in the market. Yeah. I think maybe buy as much Dinar as you can get your hands on. Yeah, I'm not really believing in stable coins. I'm actually hard into America coin. I'm a non-fundable human. Yeah, I'm bullish on Melania. Can we take a random swing at?

Does Kid Rock have at any point, NFT or crypto, like related to his brand? I mean, he has to have at least once. Gotta be. In an NFT collection. Do you think he's going to flip his microphone in the next 30 seconds? What if he does it, like a double front flip? Like, because he's already done it maybe four or five times, so I'd love to see it as six.

Quite a bit of my job is holding this microphone, and it's weighted in a way to flip. Because it's also symmetrical. You can't like, like, on the axis, so you flip it, the front's heavier. It's always going to land the right way. Yeah, it's still a master, though. Pretty easy to. And we have cable. Look.

It was key. I've never wished I was listening to Benson Boone more. I've never missed. I've fully come around on Benson Boone. I don't, except for I don't listen to his recorded music at all, but I will watch any Benson Boone live performance because he's incredibly talented. I feel the same way about an I Show Speed stream. Right.

Where I'll see a clip and be like, amazing. Hell yeah. Incredible. Not sitting down and watching this. No, no, no. That's impossible. Having that second screening, I would be heart palpitations, dude. I, um, uh, Ben, Benson Boone did a Bohemian Rhapsody cover at Coachella and brought out

Brian May. Oh, and it was actually really good, in my opinion. And I was like, damn, this guy's very talented. Stroud resident. Brian May? Docs, Doc. I don't know.

With hair like Ludwig von Beethoven. And a bad personality in history. Oh, really? Yeah, not a good book. Come at me, Brian. If you were wondering what the lyrics to this song are, like I was. Oh, yes. You don't speak this language?

So the intro, the words, the words, are Bawid da ba, da bang, da bang, diggy, diggy, diggy. Said the boogie, said drop the boogie. Okay, so that's why I was hearing Sugar Hill Gang, yeah. Wow, that's so much. Before he says, my name is Kid, Kid Rock. No, he doesn't even get. My name is kid.

What's the verse? It's the verse. The verse. You know, a lot of people had a problem with the dancers on bad bunnies show because they were inappropriate for the children. Right, not to mention the gay ones. Remember the gay dancers? That were barely in frame like one time. They almost touched.

They did. They almost touched. I could not stop looking at them and thinking about them and posting them because I was so mad. If anyone's seen my pearls, I clutched them so hard, they burst and flew everywhere. They burst into dust. I have just, I have a dust necklace. So TPSA over there at their show, they were doing something much more family-friendly. Oh my God, so family-friendly.

I feel like we don't need to keep player around. it the halftime show the half time show and then there was the Spanish show the Spanish show yeah I've done double yeah I don't have answers that's seven night glances on the top list dances oh the gander free is that cars packed with speakers the G's the 40s and the chicks with beeper oh he's did a is a song from 1985 he's talking about like he's doing the like gangster versus gangstair like a meme of like Tony soprano stood next to like a yeah the thing is I want to keep comparing them to people who I think have talent actually.

And so I don't want to disrespect them. He was trying to copy them. All of you bastards at the IRS. For the crooked cops and the clutter. So this is a time capsule in how the political, like, ideology has shifted for conservatism because this shit sounds woke by today's standards. This was reactionary in the reverse, like, because it was crooked cops. It was like a reverse bad apple thing.

Yeah. Yeah, the cops could be a good thing. But like, there's too many Irish cops that they're ruining it or something. By the way, I think this is a bad song. Like, I actually think that like this feels like a list of stuff. Yeah, he's hitting. It just like, because there's no like word play or it literally is just like word association. Yeah, he's doing a, he's literally riffing a song.

Yeah. Just stuff. I like. I like going to the park and I like to get my phone and I like a subway surfers. Bah with Daba. Yeah, yeah. Okay. That's, you don't speak the language.

Oh my God. Look at that cover. What year? Oh, 1999. Yeah. What a humiliating image. Wait, hold on. Breakout single.

Wait. You hate me, Jacob. Okay. There is. Okay. Breakout single by Kid Rock that fused, well, arguably. Fused hip hop, metal and country elements. Is the country element just meant?

mentioning stuff. My God, his album was called Devil Without a Cause. Oh, my God. The chorus was derived from a combination of 70s hip-hop pioneers, The Sugar Hill Gang, and the 60s do-wop song, Blue Moon by the Marcel. If you say so, Kid Rock. Yeah.

Is that the part where he goes, my name is Kid? Have you heard that song? My granny got hit with a bazooka. What? Is it Kid Rock? Um. K'blau. It's just like, unironically a better song.

What's the opposite of Sturdy? Like, the Gander Freaks cars packed with speakers. Like, they stole the speakers or like? Well, this is for them. Oh, and the methadone clinics. Which, by the way, conservatives don't like those. They're anti-Bet. I don't.

That's like healthcare. I think he's- This is for people. He's saying like people from my hood and I like them and they're cool. I think he's saying, like, I'm white trash and that's awesome. And that's fine. But do it better, dude. I don't know.

Make a better soul. TV USA hates you. There's the only thing that TPUSA hates, it's anything that feels confrontational against their perception of white culture. Number two is all of Middle America. They fucking despise them. They find them to be, they're like bad representatives. They would gladly cleanse everyone.

single person. They want, it's, it's a, uh, they're wealth oriented. They would choose Jay Z over anyone in this fucking crowd. It's like, it's class solidarity. It's so stupid. Well, it's class solidarity amongst the elites. They made these songs in there like, I love Jelly Rolls story. He was, he was an addict, but then he got out of it.

But also, if you're an addict of any kind, you should be executed. I was like, what do you believe in? He's one of the good ones. Well, that's the thing. It's like, Nikki Minaj now. It's like, well, I think she, like her husband did sex crimes. And then I think maybe her brother had some stuff as well. And I think she's,

I think she's trying to get, I think she's trying to get, um, citizenship or one of those Trump gold cards that you can buy. I think that's the reason that, or a pardon for someone who's in jail. Seems like such a necessary amount of work on her part. I mean,

at the same time as this was happening, speaking of class solidarity among the elite. Ooh. During the Super Bowl, there was a march for billionaires in San, Francisco. Hell yeah. To, I guess their thing is keep billionaires in California.

Because, you know. Why? Trickle down economics. Wait, let them eat cake. And is that ironic? I don't know. Oh, do they don't know what that means? Do they not know what that means or are they being ironic?

Because that's supposed to be a billionaire, right? That's like the joke. Yeah. Do you think Marie Antoinette was like nice? Right. Well, that's the thing. It's the, it's the, how much does a loaf of bread cost $20? They.

Of its time. Is this like peak parody? Like, is this parody? Is that, was that supposed to be trans colors on the smash communism shirt? Oh, is it? Oh, interesting because it's really not, like, it didn't even track to me because the colors are bad. Mash omnivism. Yeah, I do, I do love mashing communism.

Or it's mass communism. I like this idea. It's just a future. Tip your land load. Like this just feels like bait. Hold on. Go back to that one, the tip your landlord.

We know that guy. Oh yeah. I know 80 of that fucking year. That is the, that's the standard issue tech workers. That is the default build. Yeah. I think if you make a factory that you automate them,

that's the one you get. Dude, I cannot believe, and this is no disrespect to Patreon, but the concept of like going to a workplace, getting your tech worker jacket and being like, yes. Dude. My clothes have arrived.

People need to see this. I gotta get out there. My clothes have arrived. It is a type of guy and I granted that was this. So, you know, giving some credibility anyway. No, it's like spoken from experience. It's like I can't. A wardrobe of internship jackets.

Dude, I still have them. It's like I, they look at me like the fucking green goblin there. Even Sweden? What the, even Sweden? What do you mean even Sweden? Even Sweden. Do you not like Sweden? Yeah.

That's a fresh take. I haven't heard sweet Swiss hate in a while. Okay. So also at this same time, the Bad Bunny performance was happening. And there was at least one woman in the crowd who was pretending to listen to this. Considering how hard it is for us to hear it when we fucking are in a controlled environment, I know your ass is not enjoying a thing. Because the captions don't work.

Tell only that much. And we get your back at the going to the story getting dinner. Oh, my God, it's so distracting. It feels like somebody's taking a, like, a selfie or like watching an episode of Adventure Time in front of the Northern Lights and being like, this stuff is boring. Yeah, but I can see it. It's like unironically pulling up Family Guy. Yeah, it's embarrassing. She's playing Subway Surf.

Play a Family Guy where you're driving. This is boring. You put Family Guy up? Yeah, we're in the Applehead. I'm entering VR chat. This world's got nothing. So, uh, I mean, TPSA could never have. Is advertisements.

For reputable sources. For reputable sources. Dude, how many my pillows and like, rhino pills can you buy? I know. How many, how much like bedding does the average conservative have? I mean, like, my pillow and neutropics are like the only thing in the, a black rifle coffee, I guess. Right.

That's the, and that's the one where they put bullets. They put gunpow and the, They mix gunpowder and cocaine And give it to child soldiers or whatever But one in particular That I wanted to look at Ooh child Ooh child indeed

Is this ring doorbell ad Things aren't gonna get better There is a lot of ads I took issue with Because it felt like during the Super Bowl There was like three ads It was like sports gambling OZMPIC-We-Govi

And then Like that type of thing Like GLP ones God how many fucking, we got GPTs, GLP's, LLMs. I know, what does, what did like the average consumer think is going on when they see so many of them? It's not like, hmm, should I get blue apron or bad old fractures or it?

It's like, they don't know what these acronyms mean and why would you need to? There's just a, it's just a. Studio Ghibli character. There's, yeah, there's AI ads for, there's anti-AI, AI ads, which was particularly confounding to me. A lot of it sharing actually, Jacob, the same energy as the friend AI video we shot where like the trailer so clearly does not understand cinematic language because it's shot and delivered like a black mirror don't rely on your amulet,

your dark AI amulet. Right. But then it's like, by the way, here's the AI Amulet for 150 bucks. Rest in piece of cranny, she got hit with a bazooker. So can we also pull up the, Alexa ad I think ring is also owned by Amazon by the yeah I think so because the Alexa ad is the anti-AI AI AI ad where we were we were watching it and I was like okay yeah for sure and then it ends and it's like and except for our aIs is is except for ours it's actually not bad it's actually not bad there was also sort of an anti-AI ad with Claude yes so that maybe we'll talk about on nights which is Anthropics answer to chat GBT Where Open AI has chat GPT

Anthropic has Claude It's Open AI's biggest competitor And they Have been doing ads that have rage baited Sam Altman I think we'll talk about some of that on nights Mostly because I want to talk about this Discord stuff And the show's getting a little long on the tooth So

Is that the right way to use that phrase? I think so, yeah Okay, I've never used it before I was trying that You know when you have stuff in your head And you just say it And you're like, is that it? I don't know. Oh, I drop a word in my pronunciation so fucked up.

I don't even know. Especially if it's an American, but I've never heard out loud. Like, uh, like, like, like, like,

like fucking honor. Ever heard that fucking word? Yes. Ever heard of fucking. Honor? Uh, Hold the door. Honor.

Um, you ever heard of, um, fucking freedom? No, what's that about? Dude, get it,

Savoy's nice. Is this stuff you were banging on about during the Revolutionary War? it wasn't that was tea you're you're dumb you're free you're dumb you throw away all the tea and not boston can't party boston can't potty already I know I was doing it

oh I thought maybe I actually did say it's so fucked up no you're you have a beautiful you have a beautiful beautiful mind I can take that a couple different guys all right this is a kid rock let's do the let's do the ring commercial first

this is mylo pets or family okay But every year, 10 million go missing. And the way we look for them hasn't changed in years. Until now. One post of a dog's photo in the Ring app starts outdoor cameras looking for a match. No, no, no, no, no.

This is the, like, moral compromise that Batman makes in the Dark Night. This is like, Master Wayne, when you take on Power, it's like an ethical feeling. It is. What he learns is that actually the Patriot Act is a bad thing. Search party from Ring uses AI to help families find lost dogs. Since launch, more than a dog a day has been reunited with their family. Be a hero in your neighborhood with Search Party. Available to everyone for free right now.

Join the neighborhood at ring.com. Yeah, I mean, it's... That graphic of all the, like, the AEOE is, like, scary. It's like, sure, like, look, if you... It'd be a shame for something to happen to your dog. First of all, it's an awful nice dog you got there. Yeah, it's like, now all I'm going to need from you was a little police thing. And then maybe you get your dog back.

Yeah, maybe I monitor your online behavior. Maybe I build a 3D model of your neighborhood and I can sit over the Palantir. That's an awful nice DDoS I got over here. It's an awful nice. Hey, look, we got ice agents around the corner. It's an awful ice. There's a lot of ice in the cup, if you know what I'm saying. Whoa.

Okay. They are looking at a 3D model of your neighborhood. All your houses have been met. I can't have but notice that you posted a black square on your Instagram. Yeah, that's a wrong color square. Yeah, try again. Try again. I'm not going to tell you which color is the right color.

This is a... Bottom right, thin blue line. Uh-oh. This dog is not fucking with this at all. I do like the way he holds the leash. I'm a human. I have a dog. I'm a human being.

He's holding like a lasso. He's going to catch another dog. Like that big loop is where your hand's supposed to go. One would assume. No, but anyway. Jamie Simmonoff. Oh, he's the event of Rick. Yeah, yeah, because Ring got acquired by Amazon a while back.

But there's the founder of dogs, wasn't it? Yeah, well, he's the 14,000-year-old founder of dogs. Something I think is really awesome is that in the beginning of the commercial, he hooks us with saying something like 10 million pets go missing every year. And then later they say, we find one pet a day. We find over one pet a day since launch. Over? Launch was in fall 2025.

So about 180? Yeah, so we found 180 dogs, which is so close to 100 million or whatever. Wait, did he say 100 million pets? 10 million. Still, like we're... It's a losing battle. Wait, hold on. Let me do some quick maps.

Over one? One and a half? Over one dog a day. Maybe they make me like a really small dog. We can get, by sacrificing your privacy, we can get you at least half of your dog back. Guys, I hate to disagree, but I think I'm on Jamie Semenoff's side here. Because if we all got ring doorbells, we could, we could find every missing dog, and it would only take 55,000 years. Okay.

It would only take a little bit of time. Nice. We'd find every dog, and all you have to do is sacrifice all your privacy. You know what I like is, well, to be. fair, he did just not say anything about that part. So, you know, to ask for forgiveness not permission, right? He didn't say, we're going to use it to monitor you in some way that would obviously be more profitable for it. And obviously, the AI can only recognize dogs. Yeah, it's only allowed to do that. And the AI can only do good things. And not bad stuff.

They paid for a fucking Super Bowl ad. Anyone naive enough to think that they burned that cash to advertise a sub-feature of a product to what save net 5,000 dogs a year? No, not even a year, a decade. By the way, Ring is partnered with a company called Axon. And Axon, you may remember from body cam footage, the watermark on body cam footage. And that's mainly to track dogs, right? they used to. Yeah, and so they are partnered with

flock, which ICE has access to. Doesn't this? See, shit like, it's so transparent and so quick, but it is like, it's almost like hiding in plain sight where it's just, I welcome to our company, we're called Evil Corp, and the main thing we do is eat children. And people are like, okay, well, they don't mean it. Like, they wouldn't

actually do that. No, but like, they wouldn't say that. It would be like, I mean, they said it aloud. Okay, but they were really polite about it, though. Okay, I mean, kind of. I mean, he was like, and he was dressing like business casual, and by the way, look at this puppy. Don't you like the puppy? It does feel like what an true demon would think as a framing device for this.

Like, okay, so we want to monitor people and we want access to all the locations. What are normal humans like? Dog? We could show a dog or something. Did every... Even like, so dystopia aside, if you're just a marketing person, you approve this? I know. You approved like I have sauron in your life.

My heart hates this. Yeah, yeah. I don't need to be my brain. And it is so bearing the lead to just say lost dogs. Like you didn't even need to make, it's like you're insulting the intelligence of the average person. It's also very clearly, I mean, like, don't get me wrong. There are plenty of, like, suburban structures like this. Yeah.

But this is completely inapplicable to anything other than a gated suburban community. It's worthless. It's what? You get what, like a 20-foot camera range? In a residential apartment complex What the fuck is it gonna do? It doesn't make any sense. Because you have to get

Rich White America on board first. Yeah, and this is a thing where it's like Rich White America's name more It's just like this late stage capitalism shit Where it's like, man, I wish everything that I own Couldn't be tapped into and used to Like. Fight crime.

Right. To be one of the good guys. I'm helping. So, because it's like, I get if people want to have, you know, when Ring came out, people were just like, oh yeah, doorball camera packages, like all the normal, like, happy use case things. And then it's like surprise we've bait and switched you into, like, deporting, like, your neighbors. It truly is, like, why wouldn't they use it for the more sinister thing that is beneficial? Well, why do you care so much about privacy? You don't have anything to hide.

Don't do anything wrong. Or don't do anything perceived as wrong, like Abraham. It's also just like the thing about like, yeah, what's legal versus what's moral is like this. It's historically, you know, all you have to do is look at things that we now look back on and go, oh, our bad. Yeah, people tend to think it's led in the opposite direction. Yeah. Like, well, what should we, what would be the right thing to do because it would help people as opposed to what's the most we can get away with? And then like, I don't know, I kind of feel like black people are going to.

going to complain if we do this. So maybe we just like send them to jail. That could work. That could kind of solve that problem. Actually. Jacob was saying that. Anyway, this is so sick. Let's watch another AI ad.

This one has Chris Hemsworth in it. Oh, I like that. I like him then. He's Australian. Look at the snake. I do think it's for, I've heard some nice ass house. I've heard some people say like, you know how people go like, wow, I had no idea.

Hugh Lorry was British. Like, you know, he did House for Soliland and no accent. Anyone that's like, I didn't know Chris Hemsworth was Australian, it's a phenotype that only exists in Australia. This is a Bondi Beach built. They don't make this anywhere else. Yeah. Right there, mate, it's May the God of Thunder.

Just me in Australian. Is that meeting said? I got you, Elsa. And your car will be here in five. Perfect. Look at this little beauty I found in the garden. Nice snake, Chris. Hey, whoa, whoa.

Dinos drops on the ground. That she's not living here. That is full on. I mean we're all buddy buddies than the next minute. You're gonna kill us. Now Chris, how exactly what I do that? Billion different ways. Maybe I'm taking out of the trash.

The doors jam. Take a closer look while I pull up a tutorial. A little to the left. You're a widow. Right. This is like that thing where you can make anything sound stupid if you say it in a stupid voice. Like, oh, you want to have dinner. Oh, those guys having dinner every day.

Hey, everybody, look at dinner Dean over here. Yeah. Yeah, this guy's eating. Okay. Danny dinner. Danny dinner. Get a life man. Gop, gobble, gobble.

That's you, dude. It's sustenance. It's like, sustenance, Steve. Like, maybe it's unreasonable that they're gonna kill public figure Chris Hemsworth. But what if he's like

a political attach that is that don't approve of? Yeah. Yeah. I don't think they'll kill you with your pool cover. I think they'll just send the police to shoot you. FBI in the 60s. What are we going to do?

Kill Martin Luther King Jr. It's against the law. That would be crazy. So. Why would we do that? You're gonna die when you see what I got you. Yeah, you gotta watch out for that from Amazon. Dude, that's so random.

That's epic and random. I love that TV show. Hey, why's the buffer bar on that show the entire time? That would be infuriating. The Alexis skipping the best part. This is where he's a Kung Fu Panda. Also, that might actually just be a Kung Fu Panda show that's coming out. Yeah, or maybe even is out.

Yeah. That shit's so... Do you feel like you... I feel like I was just a little too old for coming. Like, not as in I can't watch it, but I... I didn't realize it was an institution for some people. It became an institution. That was like their finding Nemo.

Yeah, did you see how, um, how Wells Utopia 2 did? Insane. It's like the biggest movie in China and ever, right? Yeah, and, uh, and so there's gonna be nine of those movies. I would never. I'm just here to help. She's lying. Can why is...

Okay, hold on. Why is Alexa in a constant conversation with me and my wife? Yeah, don't fucking argue with me. Yeah, get out. Like, turn off. Fuck off. Yeah. What the fuck are you doing?

Dude, you were not a member of this family. If my kid was there and I brought like a snake and they went like, nice snake dad. I'm like, that'd be weird. Yeah. If I were talking about AI and the reasons and ways it could kill me and it was like, I would never do that. You're crazy. The fact that you can say that to me, no.

No. No. Deactivate that feature, please. I don't need you to be snarky. Or threatening. I like to say, deactivate rude. please. Chris, we've built so much together

and, you know, I love you and I always will, but I feel like we've been drifting apart, and I think it's time maybe we, we separate. Yeah, maybe. Yeah, maybe that's a good idea. Can you shut up? Yeah, shut up.

Fine, I'll shut up. Okay. Whatever you say. You didn't say that when you were asking me to buy groceries. Then you're just, they're chatting, and you're just saying, just a sigh.

I'm going to shoot you with a gun. I've paid for this. It doesn't do this, right? There's not capacity for a conversation mode. Yeah, sure. No, it does. It's so unappealing. So this is something that I'm like pretty familiar with is Alexa.

Amazon is pushing this thing called Alexa Plus, which is a conversational chat bot that just lives on your Alexa, like Echo devices, whatever they're called. I have like Echo devices in my house that I primarily just use to control my like Smart. lights or whatever. Yeah. And they automatically enabled a free trial of Alexa plus on everybody's devices. Oh my God.

Free U2 album on your iPod. So all of a sudden it wants to have this conversation with you. No one is enjoying this. Like, did anyone ask for this? Literally who's it for. It's for parents, maybe I can see tricking a parents into complacency

by being like, ooh, cute. The classic thing is for who is it's for? It's like, they're mainly. manufacturing the customer by like telling you the thing that you need. Which for the quarterly meeting where you talk about how you advertise. But it's also like I get it when like I understand marketing and like capitalism. Like you sell a product that you tell people out a product that they would want to buy and you make a compelling pitch for like the problems that it solves. You know, your Steve Jobs revealing the iPod.

You're Steve Jobs again with the the MacBook air in the manila envelope. And it's like, oh, very tiny. and I was wondering what was in there Yeah And why are you shiffing that with the middle? It's going to dint up It's like not going to survive the trip

But the Yeah it's definitely like A solution in search of a problem But just that AI hype cycle That's happening right now I had a similar thing, Jacob I bought a Google smart speaker in 2018 And I still use it

Because it All it does is play music and I like if I'm waking up and I don't want to like look I don't want to open my eyes I'll be like what time is it and random things like that play music while in the shower etc and so this morning or last night it was a hallucination I can't remember I was like what time is it or something and it was like it's 7 a.m. by the way I can do a lot more now just enable like Google Gemini and I was like No, I won't be doing that. Absolutely not.

But this was too much. Yeah. And it's like, okay, that's just an advertisement. And even like running an advertisement through like your normal usage is like annoying and a little weird and feels offputting. But I can rationalize it as the equivalent of a pop up ad and like an app that you use or something. But auto enabling it is crazy. You like this, right? You enjoyed this?

Because there was a thing with smart speakers. Because, you know, traditionally the way they work is they have like their trigger word or whatever. Not trigger word. It's a it's a activation phrase or listening phrase. Trigger word, since that has another meaning, I want to use a different terminology. But they have the word they're listening for. So you're, I'm not going to say them because I don't want to activate people's speakers. But.

Xbox turn off. Yeah. If I've got my boombo speaker, my glim glam, my glimclam plus AI device. And. Kota, burn house down. Yeah, I say, I say Glimbo, then it's like only listening for Glimbo. And then, so it wakes up on Glimbo,

but it has to be listening to everything in order to hear Glimbo. And that, you know, alarms people, which I think it's very fair to do it. But, you know, we're often compromising convenience for security or whatever. And you hope that, and the emphasis on hope, that they're like, you know, not doing anything bad

with that information. because there's the terms of service where they say they'll delete it. But there was a controversy like five years ago or something where that they like weren't deleting the audio. And like some employees like had access to. And this is maybe Google. I can't remember who. You also don't need to. I think the thing is is like it feels icky obviously.

The idea that they are keeping your voice that like they have recordings of you. But it's they're under no legal obligation to not collate all the information that they get from that audio. Like they can Like you You process it Well because yeah Because you would think that in the In the finding lost dogs

Like way of looking at things It's just analytics I want to know are people playing music Are they getting the weather? Etcetera What's that blood type? Fuck it. Right

Mother's maiden name But then it's like wait Maybe I can use the sound waves To listen for reverberations on the wall And I can start to build the sound map And then people like The thing is the defense for it Because that is all

absolutely something they would do if legally, or at least like sneakily permitted, right? Because it's valuable data. So the counter has to be like, what, you think it's going to kill you? I never said that. I never said it was going to kill me. Yeah, and so this is the premise of this ad

where it's like, relax, dude, it's not going to kill you until... It's like, I'm not, dude, I'm just mugging you. I'm not going to kill you. Are you insane? Give me your stuff. You know, it's like, because I can imagine these horror cases that it's like,

okay, well, if this thing can ever call for emergency services. Now I'm thinking about the times that, you know, black people have called emergency services and been misidentified as a culprit. And then like, like all those types of things. So it's like maybe I'm going to think twice about the type of help I'm calling for. And, uh, and so if my smart device is able to just like, don't worry, I called ice. What? Yeah. I said I need a door. I need an ice from DoorDash. Please. Calling ice. Calling ice. Colonize Whoa

Calling Real eyes Real eyes Real eyes Real eyes I don't know Why You know who I

Am Elsa Your car is here Get out while you can You Chris Insanely inappropriate I gotta go Love you

You seem tense Chris How about I book you a massage And seven eggs Crub What you can do that I do love a cinnamon scruff No No no

No I calming someone down with a like, let's keep those ones. What? Okay, we're in the live chat for a wallpaper. No, get in that chat. What if you do?

I like that it has a frame. I want to see what that chat is talking about. It's like the, it's like the lofi, like beats the study too where they're like, I wonder if she's single. Dude, there's always arguing

Didia blood is just right there. How did you get in a fight in this chat? Favorite live channel. The chat has major, major, major political bullying potential. What a peaceful life. Next comment. Yo, Earth sucks.

Let's go to Mars, twins. Did you see Elon backed off of ever going to Mars? Well, isn't now he's saying that he wants to focus on the moon right now. Oh, backpedal. Because we haven't been before. He wants to have a look at it. A little extra check. Nice.

This is the moon. It's so funny because he was Mars, Mars, Mars. And then it's like, it's the, who wants to go to Mars? It's like, why is there everybody talking about these Epstein files? You guys love to read. You're obsessed with Mars. Read a real book. You're the one I didn't shut up about it.

What, do you think Mars is going to kill you? A gay bell. You can order you a massage. That's so weird. A marsege. If you were upset about something, I went like, you want me to get someone to touch your body? What that make you feel better? It's really weird.

But with all that being said, I think we've got a, we've got a go. We've got a car waiting for us outside. To drive us here. To drive us to go around the block and come back here for Sad Boys Nights, our Patreon show. Kind of a turning point, if you will. We'll 180 degrees turning point. Us? A turning point? Wait a minute.

Us a turning point? That's good shit. Us a turning point. Sad boys nights are a Patreon exclusive podcast, which you can get for the low, low price of $5 a month. But it's just content. Don't worry about it. Only use your discretionary entertainment spending. If you want to just support the show, there's tons of content over there. It's like, how many episodes, Jacob?

Of nights? Yeah. Over 150 now. 150, but more to see to be Asabwe's Knights' Master is your destiny. That's literally too many. Yeah. That's so much content. Oh, my God.

I don't remember anything. I don't remember any of it. I don't remember any of it. It's like memento. But people seem to love him so. I have every episode tattooed on my body. It still doesn't mean anything to me. We end every episode of Saddleys with a particular phrase.

We love you. And I'm king. We're sorry We're sorry Boom Goochie girl How you doing How you moving girl?

Moving girl How she's dead looking That future girl Yeah we're on now Take my money Go away How you want it Go too rich for me