Sad Boyz - Surviving a Bear Attack (w/ Nickisnotgreen)

Episode Date: December 8, 2021

we're joined by nick (in person!) to discuss very important topics follow nick~ https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCnTr3rLQySAokkQjXbduk7Q Listen To Us! Spotify ▸ https://sadboyzpod.com/spotify Apple Podcasts ▸ https://sadboyzpod.com/itunes Follow Us https://instagram.com/sadboyz https://twitter.com/sadboyz Outro music @prod.typhoon & @ysoblank

Welcome to Sad Boys, a comedy podcast about feelings and- do I say a comedy podcast? I don't say a comedy podcast. No, we've talked about it before and it works. Yeah, I don't know how to do this show still. Maybe we should- Oh, wait. Yeah, I'm remembering we have no idea what we're doing. That was why, right? Yeah, okay. Um, welcome- Welcome to Sad Boys- Welcome to Sad Boys, a podcast about feelings and other things also. I'm Jarvis.

And I'm Jordan. This is the new me. I prefer him to the old one. That's what, Fredophobia or whatever? I'm in love. I'm done with The Sopranos. I got bored of it, but it has influenced me quite a bit. And I'm actually something of an old... I love the old country job. Today, we're joined by a very special guest. And the special guest is Jordan.

So everybody in the chat thinks they know who it is. Get bent. Nice try. I'm the special guest every single week. The special guest that we... We only take special guests that are tall, unfortunately. So we couldn't find anybody that fit into that category today. Yeah.

And our only guests like are like, we are both green. Like Jordan is green. I'm green. Thank you. Yeah. So our guests, so like we can only have people on who, who are green here. We need a tiny, we need a tall, not tiny, green, not, not green. Um, I mean like Nick is here, but like, he's not a guest.

He's not a guest. I can't even see him. Too little. Yeah, he's just like always off. He's always out of frame. No, the guest is Jordan. The guest is Jordan. Hey, what's up?

Keep your eye on the prize on the price get out of frame get the fuck out of here son of a gun uh okie dokie hi everyone hello hello hello i have an outline i have things i want to talk about oh my goodness yeah this is a podcast say what i got a couple things but defer please take it away well no i mean we should start with uh how we start every episode how is your welcome to the comedy podcast about having a joke in a good old time is nick is not green the guest no i'm no i'm here i'm here i'm not the guest no he's just here i mean he's the guest at your house Jordan is the guest thanks for having me again I'm the guest

my presence is present I really appreciate I really appreciate the 70 or whatever recurring guest spots you've been able to give me yeah I figured that was nice of me

do we have any idea how many episodes because there's the batch of lost episodes I would guess like 45 or something yeah and there's only like

oh wait no there's way more i think it's wrong yeah well we it was at like 30 something when yeah it's probably like 50 or 60 but like we haven't released them all and sometimes you and me just hanging out counts as an episode in my opinion um yeah so welcome back to the podcast where two lifelong friends talk about life for a long time i'm ret and i'm link that's the ear biscuits podcast get that shit out of here we hate those do your podcast link more like smell and stink yeah more like more like thank you brett no. What rhymes with Brett? No, it's okay.

Fret. More like Brett. More like... More like Brett. Brett. More like Rhett. Oh my god, Nick Too Far. Really? Nick Too Far? More like Rhett.

Oh, about stinking sweat. Oh, not too far away from the camera. I see. Nick Too Far. Yeah, no, he went too far with his comment i see i see um no let me i went and stink there we go that's good that's good yeah yeah perfect um no shout out to retin link i'm a mythical beast they're cool i guess we'll probably have a podcast at some point um you're now you intro if you want say what next time the intro go ahead it's your podcast intro from your podcast oh my podcast intro

yeah welcome back to nick is not talking in the podcast where i don't do anything welcome back and yep it's like curtis's podcast except for it's just 50 minutes of silence and i just sit there and i'm like i actually can't do i can't say anything so i have a button that does that it's a text to speech oh i should do the um i should fix our uh make this so that it doesn't do the thingy you know you know the thingy you know the thing oh god oh god okay all right we should both we should probably both stay be in focus now is it just me or is jordan louder than nick and jarvis i don't know probably it'll be me is it ruining your day we can we can lower Jordan. I can help. No, leave that light off.

It wasn't a light. It's the camera. Why don't we leave you off? On the chat. Oh, yes. Again, too far, I think. I look good today? Wow.

That's rare. Thank you. You look nice today. Little Nicky, too. Your hair's dried out. I saw Nick after the shower earlier looked very very boyish very harry styles ask oh yeah very wet wetty hairy wetty hairy wet you gotta you gotta leave these celebrities alone dude they're never gonna do the pod yeah now you have a laundry list of people that will never go on the podcast ret link and Styles. You know, I think we may be able to, like, I don't know,

make some inroads and have them anyway. Yeah. I think, genuinely, it's the accessing and making sure he has available time. I don't think Harry Styles is off the cards forever. Not forever. I think that is a 5% chance, though. I'm sure we have some sort of connection.

Yeah. Both British. Oh, true. We are. percent chance though i'm sure we have some sort of connection yeah british no true we are both fashion icons beloved by millions fact and harry's there too um both bullied online okay well nick since you're here um okay i'm gonna drop a bit where we're rude to Nick. Nick, how was your week? My week was good. I flew in to LAX on Tuesday. Oh, yeah. I wonder if I should complain about... I wonder how much I can complain about the thing, the snafu, you know?

Oh. Okay, here's what I'll say. Originally, I wanted to have Nick come for like a project and we ended up having to postpone the project past when nick leaves by fault of not not yeah not anyone's fault it just like kind of happened that way so it was a very uh unfortunate circumstance but still we get to hang out but anyway you flew into lax yeah so i'm here for no reason um i got to hang with some people and today's my last day and so we're just going balls to the wall that's where our balls are at will you fly out again if i come over in like a week? Yeah, I'll just figure out having someone to take care of my cat for another week.

Just ask the pilot if they can do a quick U-turn. Oh, true. And get on the plane. And ask them if they could get off the plane, watch your cat, and then you fly the plane back. Oh. Yeah, nobody can trust more than the pilot. Now, here's a question. Let's say someone... Let's say...

Let's say that you had to fly a plane. Do you think... Moi or Jordan? Just either of you. Both of us have different flight experience. Some of us are more decorated pilots than the other. Yeah. Jarvis will do the wheel.

I'll do the gear stick. Do you think if you... If a plane was... You were in a plane and it was going to crash and you ran up to the front of the plane and pilot co-pilots out, do you think that you would have a chance at landing the thing? It's only us. There's no, I can't run back and be like, hey, is there a qualified person? It's just one, maybe the two of you together. Like, do you think there's a way where you could figure it out? That would be a pretty funny way to die. Podcasting together. I feel like, I feel like we would, we would hold hands.

Maybe we would share a warm embrace and we would just commit to death. Or, you know, I'd probably try to do something and I fail. Because all they do is go flip, flip all they do okay yeah no that is can you elaborate on that nick so there's sort of a bunch of switches on the ceiling and you go flip flip flip they probably have big labels on it that go this flip this one before the plane goes up this one down yeah if you're right if we're and they have that one that's like if we are unconscious then flip this one yeah and it's sort of handling landing yeah it's a lot of labels i do think that like autopilot does do a lot but then landing i think is like a more manual process right so yeah start stream and hope there's

a part of the entire i'm going to disparage the entire profession and say all of it's easy, especially landing. Yeah. Landing's just driving a car. That's going to end up being Jordan's last words when he's like, all of it's easy, including landing. Here I go. Dude, we just have to find out where the black box is and we can record a final episode of the show. Do we have to record it into the black box? Yeah. It's like the black box is and we can record a final episode of the show do we have to record it into the black box yeah like what it's like the black box keeps track of keeps track of the position of the

airplane it's pinging satellites or whatever and uh also it has uh adobe audition on it that's fortunate and two microphones who knew the rss out now yeah yeah and a little uh internet connection for uploading specifically to libsyn.com there's no time we have to go now yeah we have an emergency podcast how confident do you feel i mean genuinely i think there's a not i do just want to say that if we could go over the loudspeaker and just be like, excuse us, passengers, we are going to be recording an emergency podcast before we all die. Sorry. Sorry for that was too loud for anybody. No, it's going to ASMR.

I think what I would do is first I would buy, I would put the flight on autopilot. I would know how to do that yeah and then i'd get i buy the in-flight wi-fi eight dollars with southwest not great wi-fi by the way i was like wait are you it's not like you're shilling southwest and then now you're yeah i don't know whose side you're on no it's bad they should be able to give you the wi-fi for free if the plane's crashing yeah there should be a button that's like you know how like you can still call the police even if you can't get into someone's iphone like they should have that for a plane it's an emergency you described it you know when you like you can't get into somebody's iphone

you're like at least i can call 911 but i would put it on autopilot i can't get into my girlfriend's phone is this a police? Yeah. Need help. I would tweet and be like, hey, who knows how to land a plane? Because you can't do much else on that Wi-Fi but text and – I see. You can do the bare minimum. Specifically on Southwest Wi-Fi. Video is not going to work.

YouTube is not going to really fly. And then – No pun intended. Yeah. And then – oh, that's funny. And then I would head towards an ocean, and I would sort of ride the shore, down the side of the shore. But, like, you know, like a mile out, I'd see the shore off to my left, and I'd be flying.

And then I'd slowly land it and just really grace the water and foo into the water. Your answer is you'd stir to safety. Yeah. Wait, at what point did you learn how to land the plane in that? Did you? Wait, what did you do? I zoned out for a second.

And you were like, it's just a fail safe. Like in case someone's like, here's exactly what you need to do. Oh, in case the's like, here's exactly what you need to do. That's just a lucky thing. In case the plane's crashing? Yeah. So that's just, like, while I'm headed towards the ocean, I might as well see if someone's got some tips for me. I kind of feel like you should just tweet it now. Oh, just to get ahead of it. That reminds me of that tweet that went viral that was like, here's a tip that might save your life if you're like

lost on a hike or something like that you can like set your voicemail uh to your location and then people will be able to find you and then every expert was like no you cannot do that if you don't have service uh and then also there's other things that you should be doing like talking like contacting emergency services instead of hoping somebody calls your phone why would people think that calls you and doesn't hang up after five rings i think at a certain point it got so many likes that people were just like it must be true like do they just think that when it comes to voicemail sending a voicemail like it the internet will just like work for that i didn't i didn't know that um i didn't know that the when that went viral it was

insinuating that you didn't need service to change your voicemail yeah i just thought they were saying you could do that but i'm like if you could do that and why wouldn't you just contact someone who could more directly help you it depends if you got mates if you are really if you don't have any friends and you're on a hike where you got lost what's the context of this one yeah i don't know i think because help hey what's up it's me jordan i'm being attacked by a mountain lion anyway you can find me somewhere in saskatchewan yeah no that's like that's kind of what it was i mean this was like a big thing there were like articles written about it how do you know your coordinates if

you don't have any access i think it's supposed to be like i'm on this trail this was like a big thing there were like articles written about it why do you know your coordinates if you don't know internet access i think it's supposed to be like i'm on this trail this was the last like landmark i was at or something like that yeah here's all the specifics of where i am but i am lost yeah well i mean i don't want to like because it was in the wake of people actually like dying uh yeah like yeah it was like a family i didn't mean to bring this down but i was it is valid to like get lost in the wilderness or be incapacitated for example this family uh like they the climate like um shifted very dramatically from when they left so it became hot and then the family their newborn kid and their dog all died due to heat why are we doing this

i was like i i want more details because newborn dog no new room baby oh i was like you guys have uh emergency backpacks actually i don't know if it's if emergency or like um are there natural disasters where you're from nick actually? I actually have no idea. I live in Illinois, so no, not really. I think sometimes tornado comes through. Like I've got water and Yeah, we don't have those.

We have basements too here. So we're not here where I'm from. We didn't have basements in Florida. Yeah, they don't do basements in Florida. That's where I was born. I was pretty jealous didn't have basements in Florida. Yeah, they don't do basements in Florida. You did. Yeah. That's where I was born. I was pretty jealous of people with basements.

You were born in Florida? Because there's a thing in Clearwater, this guy. I'm the number one famous birthday. Most famous birthday in Clearwater. In Clearwater, Florida. Number four, IG messaged me and said, I'm going to take your spot. And I was like, says you, but I'm sitting sitting at a pretty six thousand and you're sitting at a what i don't know what she's bad not that much higher birthday what is there a voting pool can

i vote for one of you i think there's a boost button i don't know what it does it just kind of turns a different color when you tap it here's the thing um i have a fear of running into a bear in the wilderness now i don't go in the wilderness right but i did work at a a summer camp um when i was a junior in college i was a videographer for a summer camp and the photographer was a very outdoorsy person and i was like i don't know why i got this job like i don't know why I decided this is what I want to do because I don't go outside. Right. And so I asked him, we were walking and I was like, hey, I've always had this fear of running into a bear. And I know what people say.

They say, if it's brown, lie down. If it's black, fight back. Because if it's a black bear, it's going to try to kill you either way, even if you lie down. So they're like, you might as well get big, get loud, freak out and try to scare it away or, or do whatever you can because you're going to die either way. Then Brown, they're like, if you pretend you're dead and you're really quiet, they're going to walk away and they're not going to worry about you.

But they've got an honor code. Yeah. They have a certain way they do their business. And so I asked him and he's like well that while that is true you can't necessarily tell just by looking at it like all brown bears aren't just the color brown and all black bears aren't just the color black so well okay i forgot what he said i think he was like i think he was like no matter what you should try to like get big like you're supposed to like make yourself look really big and yell and but i'm still scared because i'm not 100 sure so i'm like if i ran into yeah now i'm confused i'm like it's like

the tip was fight every bear it was like so uh black bears are like this brown bears are like like black bears will kill you brown bears won't but you can't tell the bears apart so all bears will kill you or whatever and so i'm still scared because I always forget when I look it up what the real tip is. So I'm like, I think what I would do, I like personally, I feel like I would freak out and just sprint as fast as I can. But I know you're not supposed to. That's like the one thing you're not supposed to do because they're faster than you. They're going to destroy. Yeah, I'm like a two mile an hour.

I mean, yeah, you know what? Grizzly bear can easily take on a gorilla and beat it in a fight. Like no problem. Yeah. Cause I saw a poll. I didn't know. I saw a poll on Twitter and some guy was like, somebody was like,

who would win in a fight gorilla or grizzly bear? And I was like, gorilla easy. Like they're fast. They're limber. They'll go weapons. And then I went in the comments. It was like 50, 50. I went in the comments thinking like gorilla easy like they're fast they're limber they'll go weapons and then i went in the comments it was like 50 50 i went in the comments thinking like gorilla easy and there were

people who were like oh i'm a like freaking zoologist and like a grizzly would destroy like a grizzly's mouth is like a freaking chainsaw and it would destroy anything coming in its path and it's big and it's strong and even if a gorilla is faster there's no chance there's no shot no no no no the gorillas can have the capacity to communicate with other gorillas via sign language and like yeah and bring them all in one will see it and they'll be like it's gonna be like the ewoks yeah and they'll all come But do you think two gorillas could beat one grizzly bear? It's kind of like that versus Batman question, isn't it?

Was that the final? With all that being said, do you think two gorillas could win? I think... I'm accounting for that. Three? Yeah. But if I was to get into a fight with either of them I think I'd pick the bear

just because the bear I know there are ways to get around it I feel like a gorilla would just rip you to shreds oh my yeah we're dead with a gorilla there's bear repellent

it's like pepper spray but stronger it's a submachine gun it's a it's a glock yeah it's just bear repellent whoa shit dude i'm sorry if you shot a bear in the face do you think it'd stop

what are we talking about i think if you shot one in the stomach or the chest it wouldn't do anything it wouldn't hang off i think it would stay i'm sure there are some hunters that could answer your questions what do you mean it would stay it was'm sure there are some hunters that could answer your questions. What do you mean it would stay? It would stay on the ground forever. Like, I think you would like sit there and be like, I'm still gonna kill you. Yeah, when a bear gets shot, the stomach is like, oh, that means stay.

Better stay here. Don't shoot bears, it's really hard to get right and you're more likely to turn them aggressive. I was right. What do you know? What if you shoot it um yeah it was good wait i'm gonna look up how to fight a bear what do you so i want to it's like what are you supposed to do it's like if if you see a bear don't shoot it don't run away don't stay there it sounds like like what are you supposed to do most don't go hiking i think what you're supposed to do is make

your body look big, like you're supposed to make your arms really high, and you're supposed to scream at them, and, like, be like, stop, bear! Stop! Oh my god. Have you guys seen... Did you speak English to the bear? Stop, bear! Mr. Bear! Halt where you stand. You have to speak

with respect. Yeah, please. There's this video from utah around where my friend where derek lives i think he went to high school with the guy but it went viral and he was in a forest preserve and like uh it was like a tiger or like a oh i would have to look it up it was like a uh i don't know black or i don't know brown bear i know tiger the video stressed me out so bad like so so bad it was like this angry animal um and this kid is like freaking out um i remember sorry i'm yawning i remember seeing that video of that um

woman that was trying to protect her dog from like a bear but it was like a bear oh yeah oh it's utah cougar attack fantastic you should we should watch it soon um it's viral video shows cougar stalking utah hiker and terrifying six minute encounter so the the cougar was like running this guy and the guy was like stop he was like stop right now he's like yelling at him like he was like freaking out and i and i was like stop in the name of the law and the cougar would like run at him and then stop and like massaging him up for like how old he is and stuff yeah it's a cougar they were like that's not really my type i'm currently reading wiki how how to survive a bear and all six of the points i've read so far are fight it sometimes but

not always see that's the scary part is like i don't want to be in the encounter and be like why didn't i figure it out back when i had the time yeah i'm gonna be so embarrassed if i die by a bear there's a fucking okay actually you know this one that's what i say it says um you should prepare to know when it's no it's okay to play dead and when it's not. It suggests that you lie down on your front and pretend to play dead. On the other hand, many bear experts recommend that you should never play dead. See, that's what I'm saying. However, if you do and the brown bear or grizzly roughs you up a bit,

stay flat and silent. If he starts to lick your wound, stop playing dead. That you mean like elbow he's licking your wounds and you're like yeah are you supposed to how are you supposed to recover from that without him just going oh now i need to kill you because he's looking you go gotcha i'm alive and then and then he's like i will spring back out of surprise yeah and then he does a reset where you get to stand up and like you start the battle once again yeah the bear lies down pretends it's dead okay so if i've run into a bear i think what i would do so do you guys think if you ran into a bear let's say i i think what i should do is get big and yell and scare it away

and make myself seem massive and if it starts attacking me yeah I'm gonna run away but if all do you think that if you were in that scenario you'd be courageous enough to I mean do it my thing is like I'm not ant man I can't make myself look that much bigger than I am but they're dumb animals like you're supposed to just get your your hands like big holy shit all dude What the first thing you do is Jesus Nick this guy is huge You're not huge I thought you were really short dude what the hell

But if you were supposed to go like this And be like this big And like wave your arms and be like AWAY BAMBOO How do you even change your size dude In your head I was like this big... I was like pin... Yeah, dude, you had...

You had pin from Spider-Verse. You had me for a second. I was about to... I was about ready to start eating your wounds, but then you put your arms up in the air? Yeah. Damn. Damn.

Good thing you shot me in the stomach, because then I knew to stay. I stayed. I thought I'd better stay. I don't know. I mean, Nick, my legitimate answer is if what would i do in a bear attack i would die yeah that would be the thing that i would do yeah and that's okay i don't want to go yeah what a way to go out first thing i do is i change my voicemail hey guys uh bear

gonna kill me i tweet i tried to do my first tick well i think we can all agree that you would never get lost in a in a situation where yeah yeah i'd have to get lost i would just i would just use my gps and find my way home simple as that yeah i would actually just run past in the back is what i would do i would use my training oh that was weird did you see that like oh no really crunchy for a second and then like it's it's fine actually um i had another i had another question and i forgot is it about wildlife how to avoid a bear because i have some things that are not wildlife related that i want to talk about you're like i have a list okay um one second we don't have to talk about my list i had i had it in my head for a second i was like, I remembered a story I wanted to tell and now I forgot.

Well, we'll come back around to it if I remember. So I was shooting a bear. So yeah, I was in the forest and I had my Glock out and I shot this bear. And it returned fire. What is... I caught the bullet. Have we started the podcast yet? Oh God, yes. Yeah we we're halfway in we need responsible bear tips imagine somebody's lost in the forest right now and they're listening to a downloaded episode i

was just trying to ask how everybody's week was but this is i mean because i always yeah i thought this is like the pre-show and then it was like no we did the whole intro and everything that's true yeah and then i said we start the podcast with how was your week, and you were like, my week's good. I went to LAX, and also, have you heard about how to escape a bear? And we were captivated. That's a good point. Nick, have you spent a lot of time in LA prior to visiting and stuff?

The first time I ever was here was when I last visited Jarvis in September? No, it was earlier. It was earlier because I got dipper at the beginning of september it was like july maybe perhaps yeah did you get to see it though or was it i don't know how long you were there um i think i was here for the same amount of time maybe a day longer we saw more than this yeah because i feel like you had more of a plan coming into it last time. And we've mostly been doing content. We didn't really do content last time.

No, we didn't. We did, like, a little bit. We did, like, that video with Elsie. Oh, yeah. But this time, heaps of content. This time there's heaps of content, to be frank. Especially for the time. I want heaps.

Sorry. No heaps for you. I just noticed my last three google searches a pilot dating app uh nick green famous birthdays and how to fight a bear wiki how they don't call me nick green on famous birthdays we've had this conversation yeah strangely we have had this conversation because nick brings up famous birthdays at every opportunity it comes up we all it comes up by you you bring it if you bring it up at every opportunity. It comes up often. It comes up by you. If you bring it up, it's not like it comes up.

That's like a choice. What a weird thing that has happened. That's my secret. Yeah, you're right. If we can still hear one. The 42nd most popular first name Nick and 44-year-old web star number 16 is Grim Green. 44 web star number 16 sounds like a fucking sci-fi novel. Somebody, like in the future.

Okay, pull up your list, Jarvis. I want to see what you have. I mean, I feel like it can't hold a candle to this. I think everyone would be disappointed if we went away from this wildlife conversation at this point. I had something interesting I wanted to say. I mean, okay. So my... I mean, these are things things that i don't know if i have the energy to do my i was like gonna do a little rant i don't really know if i have it you'll find the energy in the rant i

bet um but no i i uh so i've never seen seinfeld oh ever no and uh i used to like to say that like black people didn't watch seinfeld which is true like there were other sitcoms and things that i watched i watched martin uh amongst other things living single there were black sitcoms is what i'm trying to say okay um never saw seinfeld and uh and i went to the dentist recently or i've had to go to the dentist a couple of times because i'm getting a crown and they had to like figure out that i needed a crown because i'm a king um and then i had to like get the crown filled and then they put a temporary in and then i had to go back for a permanent one and then they put the permanent one in and they were like we sized this wrong so we have to come back

and so it sucked it's i've been to the dentist a bunch it's insane every single how much it doesn't feel like science yeah and every every time i go um seinfeld is playing on the tv there in the little waiting room or in the in the like like i can lie back in the seat and i can look up and uh an episode of seinfeld is on and anastasia friend of the pod anastasia uh goes to the same dentist as me and she because it's in our neighborhood and she showed me or she told me about this ahead of time and she was like oh you can get the headphones and like the remote and i never um did that for whatever reason i was just kind of captivated by seinfeld but it was without sound soundfeld there was no no soundfeld and so i was watching i've watched like six

episodes of seinfeld eight episodes of seinfeld at this point with no audio, subtitles on, at the dentist. And I have thoughts. I have thoughts about Seinfeld. It's a weird show. I mean I think that the show, you know, it's important. It's an important show. It feels like a comedy template at this point. It's called reverence, yeah.

Like because I see other shows' influence in it, like I can – I kind of watch it through all the shows that have influenced it. So I feel like I've seen every episode already. That's one thing. Another thing, the characters are weird. Kramer sucks. Pointless character. Terrible guy. Apparently he was really popular. He's really – he's a cool guy in real life. Kramer sucks. Pointless character. Terrible guy. Apparently he was really popular.

He's really – he's a cool guy in real life. Yeah, yeah. I do know about him being racist. No, he's a cool guy in real life, and I have been in a coma for 30 years. Yeah, but what Anastasia was saying is that he was like a hugely popular character back when the show was airing, which is very interesting. Yeah, he was like – He was like the Dwight. I guess, but like Dwight's so the dwight you know i guess but like

dwight's so funny much funnier huh jordan yeah that's the perfect comparison it is like it's it's michael scott he's like the highlight kind of thing yeah but it was interesting so like that's why my one take is that kramer is a pointless character all of his b plot lines are stupid um so dumb like what is the point it's like it was it was like uh he had a why are they friends with him yeah it's like he barges into your house he's got like a business idea where he's putting butter on his face to shave because he was stealing jerry's shaving cream and and now that he's done stealing jerry's shaving cream the only thing you can do is not buy shaving cream but put butter on his face.

And then that becomes a business of his. Not significantly cheaper. No. And so, so like he's pointless. And then, uh, uh,

George Costanza, I think George Costanza is a funny character. His, his whole bit, he's a bad man. That's the joke, but it's funny. I think that that character holds up.

Um, always sunny esque way, like not a respectable dude, but a good performance. Funny idea. Yeah. Like there is an episode that came on that is still edgy to this day, which is George Costanza. He sprains like his ankle and instead of getting crutches, he gets a cane because he thinks it's cooler and then he interviews for a job and they think that he has uh like a disability and and and then they treat him as if he has this disability and they treat him really well and so he doesn't reveal that he

has a disability edgy to this day it's like it's it's you know it's pushing it was trying to do something it was pushing some envelopes i guess um but uh but overall the character is funny i think um jerry seinfeld or actually i'll leave him for last elaine only exists in the context of men she's always dating someone and even they're like bit characters for they're like characters that don't matter. It's like an old rich dude who's guest stars in that episode alone or whatever. It's always Elaine in bed with a man. Elaine talking about a man. Elaine lying in bed with a man that she's happy with.

And then he goes, I love being racist. And she goes, oh, oh whoa i didn't realize i have not seen the show so i'm a little confused but i did when i was at belmont listen to a seminar of the guy who wrote the seinfeld theme song who played the little that was i listened to him talking it was it was entertaining and pretty educational. Yeah. Yeah, he seemed – he was a good guy from what I saw. Travis, you're right in that assessment of it's kind of like Lord of the Rings to fantasy, right?

Where it's like, oh, Lord of the Rings is so generic. Yeah, and it's like I get that when it came out, it was transformative. Obviously, I could point out – so some of these things are obvious right like like women the the role that women play in the show there's also a like it's extremely white there's so few people of color it's actually wild um and they're in new york it's weird it's weird that the obligation that's the weird thing about shows of that era is like okay i can get that you just didn't care about diversity but did you not even feel obliged did you not even like did you think it was believable that you were in like you're in the year you went to a well it is jerry seinfeld outside of open mics he never interacts with black people i guess so yeah um and then finally, Jerry – people are like, that's the 90s. Like I wasn't there.

I was alive. I experienced the 90s. Me too. I also just referenced other 90s sitcoms. But the – so – oh, yeah. so oh yeah and finally jerry it feels like the show is trying to make jerry have a cool line like every every script like every like thing just like feels like it's bending over backwards to give jerry the look at these guys you know because like that that's the whole premise, I guess. It's because it's this straight man in this world of wacky characters.

You know what I mean? And then it is very stereotypical. I found it really funny that there are actual what's the deal with jokes. Oh, yeah. unironic i but i mean the one that the one that comes to mind was in an episode that was self-aware but i was telling anastasia about this and i just like went to seinfeld scripts.com which is apparently a website that exists and i like went to the episode i just searched what's the deal and it just was like right there uh which is something that i kind of want to do for every script of the uh of the show to figure out but it was uh what's the deal with lampshades uh if it's a if you need a lamp why do you need shade

that's like a laughy taffy joke yeah that's a bridge troll riddle it was it was in an episode where he was like bombing on like in like in a stand-up so it was he was bombing with that bit impossible uh it's actually that wasn't the reason that he was bombing too it was because he made a joke about cancer and then a guy in the audience goes, I have cancer. Oh, classic. It ruined his otherwise great jokes. Have you watched the Seinfeld? Like an extended Seinfeld SCU?

You know, like comedians are getting cars with me. I've watched some I've watched some funny guys in my vehicle drinking caffeinated beverages. Yeah, Caffeine and the Car caffeinated beverages yeah caffeine in the caravan caffeine in the caravan with my comedy cameo my comedy corral bang bus but funny wait that was pretty good coffee in the caravan with my comedy corral that's good right that could be us we could

do that that could be good and we could sing songs too and drive around with celebrities oh we'd have a late night show where everybody hates us yeah we could be british hey come on you could be jordan you could be the person that when he lived in the uk everyone loved him and then he came to the states and then everyone decided to start hating him. Just somehow, just despise the exact opposite of what he had. That sounds like Chex Notes. Damn, I should have brought it up. What else is in my list here? Oh, oh.

So, I mean, Jordan, you said you had had some stuff so i don't want to dominate uh more general i mean like it was more a thing that i thought we could start doing like a little little highlight of the week maybe a little low light of the week i know it's a weird week for you nick because you've been like basically just on a plane thinking about how you would save everyone if the i don't know what what happened to the pilots in this idea um i don't know honestly maybe they just forgot when they took off to they didn't make it in time or something and the plane to stay awake yeah um i'm trying to think of if i have any like airplane qualms because like whenever i go on whenever i go to the airport i did have what's the deal with

am i right yeah i had something annoying happen to me a long time ago when i was at an airport and i never got to bring it up to that many people so i will talk about it now so use the platform in your head imagine it's yours security line okay you have the big round thing that goes around you put your arms up you know what i'm talking about yeah five people in the big round thing that goes around. You put your arms up. You know what I'm talking about? Yeah. Five people in the line waiting for that. And you know to the left of it you have the normal rectangle one where you just walk under and sometimes they let people through. Yeah. Yeah. And if you're pre-checked, then that's usually where they're going to.

So imagine five people in the line. We're all waiting for that and they go. And the one that goes, the normal one is that is far ahead of the other one so in order to go through that one if you were already in line you'd have to walk backwards okay say that one more time so the regular one we were all standing in front of oh you're staying in front of the regular one not the big one the big one i mean okay oh the the swoosh because well no the reason i said the regular one sorry is because the old one was all it used to be yeah but but yeah that seems like the regular one right right so so okay wait so the there's the big the big swooshy guy i would draw this if i could but just imagine

bit this is from a this is from a vertical angle big swooshy guy five people right and then right next to the fifth person in line rectangle yeah the people in the tsa agents go hey you guys some of you guys can come over here yeah to go in the rectangle one and since you had to walk backwards you you see i i was number three in line okay so I was in the middle since you had to walk backwards number five in line goes to the front of the line number four goes to the front of the line

oh so you're not just like turning around in place and then walking no it was sort of like a backwards which I don't care it's two extra seconds you're walking through I'm not going to hold on to it for several years. That's an inefficient way of doing it. Like no one should care about their position in life.

I'm not the one in this situation who would care. Let's just say that. No, I'm agreeing with you. We snaked backwards. And so the girl who was, it might have not been five. It might have been six or seven. But let's just say I was third from the back. So now I'm third in line in the rectangle.

And the girl who was now in front of me is one behind me and she goes she says to me i was in front of you and just goes in front of me in line and like doesn't doesn't say or look at me just goes i was first steps in front of me and like very boldly she wasn't like excuse me do you mind if i could know and i'm like okay it's like she's doing it anyway but she's giving a look she's like pooping out an explanation for her behavior as she like wants as if i was not we both know it's not true yeah but i said yeah she's like oh i was in front of you yeah like in a very rude like she was like trying to be rude to me and i was like and i walked through and i give my stuff and i'm off at the same time maybe even faster than she was and i

was like man what what and she didn't say it to the other two people who were farther behind us in line who were also waiting for rectangle time wait you went past them as well but didn't even give them a like soft explanation she she they were in front of us and all she the only person she went in front of was me who was like just behind her before that and i was like i was just i just came into the rectangle line i didn't know we were identified yeah i didn't know all of a sudden we were playing games here i didn't know i did something wrong but that happened nothing wrong nick that happened like a year or two ago so just oh that was that happened a year ago that's not i'm not mad about it at all

it didn't happen on your trip here no i had nothing to do my trip here is fine but if anybody knows where i can find this woman i'm getting an official apology dude yeah consider a brown bear food um the the thing that always gets me about the airport is um well this is just like one of those things that i'm never gonna fix but it does kind of unreasonably irritate me every time it happens when you're like sitting at the gate and they start calling people and they're like delta extra special like superhuman mega priority and everyone stands up and starts going to the thing like they're not going to be standing up for like 30 minutes yeah that kills me because then i'm trying to figure out where i actually am in this like hodgepodge of people yeah and if we actually just got up all at the

right time we would probably all board the plane better um dude it's like it's what and the experience of standing up on the plane at the end of the flight and everybody gets up at the same time that's blocking everything that's like going in like the comments of a steven crowder video it's like i don't i know it's gonna be terrible but it still hurts like every time it's just like yeah we're all stupid and i'm going along with it i'm doing it i'm stupid also yeah i stand up sometimes to stretch my legs but i don't like i'm not trying to get in the what kills me is when people try to get in the the aisle as if that is going to do something it's the same energy as when people um honk at you on the road like then swerve around you to get ahead of you only to end up at the red light at the same time as you at which point i wish i had a horn that just went hey was

that you seem like an asshole yeah and we're at the same place where you seem like a jerk and you didn't get ahead huh like a whisper one that only goes into their car yeah that only goes into their car oh message from the car uh next to you was it worth hell was it worth it when you just like made it seem like you really needed to get somewhere fast but you're not like the the street lights are timed in such a way that you're often not getting any faster by speeding on a short little fucking stretch of road like a highway it's just a regular road yeah it's like what is the point so every time i pass one of those people who was like really urging to get ahead i like there's something like karmically inside of me that feels good

yeah but i i have another bird another confusing another bird another like bird's eye yeah scenario okay and this just happened like less than a month ago so it's more recent you have to be less than five years ago this would happen so yeah same woman yeah busy road like goes over a highway not it's not the highway but it's like the the big road that i live on in illinois and i'm pulling out of a place into this busy road so you have the road here going up there's a red light at the very top of it and all these cars are there and i'm turning into it so you know you like someone usually lets you in yeah at the red light or whatever you're yielding to the flow of traffic yeah and so i'm sitting there looking to my left and i pull up and there's a big semi truck and then a decent amount of space. I think he was looking down at his phone is what it was. So the cars were pulling up and there was a lot of space. And, and so enough for me to pull in like halfway. And so I'm like, okay, I'll pull in so I can just like edge my way into traffic and i'm sitting there and all of a sudden i hear honking

and i look to my left and this dude's giving me the finger and he's like he's in his car just like giving me the fat finger and i was looking at him like i i just looked at him and i was like like hey i had room i didn't i mean like as much as you can with your hands i was just like i wouldn't i was just going like this like it okay. I was saying it's okay to him. Yeah. And then he kept giving me the finger and then light turned green while I was still saying it's okay to him. And then he, and then he points at me with his finger up and he's like,

he's like, well, go ahead. Like all sarcastic, like, okay, go. And then,

you know, I'm not the guy who gives a finger in traffic, but I did give him the finger back. Yeah. I haven't ever, I haven't honked my horn yet and i'm afraid to do it because i feel like it'll it'll be the flood open the floodgates dude aren't you curious what it sounds like no you can set it to different sounds every time i um every time i am in the car and somebody does something horrible i have this moment of like i go like i'm above this do i want to be the person that responds this way in this situation

yeah that's what i like i literally like try to try to do that well someone said they learn someone said you've never honked keep in mind that jarvis has been driving for like a few months now like he's not that he's still he's just getting and he's good at it yeah yeah not mean i'm someone said they hate when um well how do you feel about this when so first of all uh for the people who can't relate because they haven't driven i only recently got my license so it's like a um that this is an inspirational story um but i can't remember if i interrupted you or not but i was gonna say somebody in the chat said uh said how do you feel when someone uh like the light turns green and somebody honks immediately behind you oh see i okay so i think it's okay like i'm at the point

in driving where i don't feel like angry when someone, like you can kind of tell what a friendly honk is from an angry honk. Like if I'm at the green arrow and it's been like two, more than two seconds and I haven't gone, then a honk is warranted and I go, Oh, sorry. And I wave my hand and I go,

and you know, that's fine. But then if you're at a green light and there's no, you know, especially if there's no Russian traffic and it's been like one second, you haven't even had the chance to process it yet. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like my foot's still easing into it. Yeah.

And I'm not the one to accelerate super fast. Right, right, right. Man, that just gets on my – I'm like – It gets on your nerves. I haven't even had the chance to think about it. Like it's the type of shit that if I was really letting into the petty side of myself i would stop the car which would be like some critical feedback oh so now so oh you you want me to go i'm just gonna i'm actually in park now how do you feel um but uh but no is the goal to like shock you so much

that your foot goes down and right that's otherwise it's just distracting you i haunt or i honked i got honked out one time uh someone did that and then i turned on a feature on my car that beeps when the light turns green so that i never get honked out by another person it's the most jarvis shit ever i like that that's i i kind of need that i'm pretty bad at being bored in the car and like the light hits red and I'm just out of it. I'm in another world. You're on your phone. You got your hot plate out. You're on your Switch.

I have a burrito in one hand, my phone in the other. I'm playing a game with my toes. Driving with my teeth. Yeah. Next thing I know. I get out of my car at every red light. Yeah. Did you guys ever do, when you know in high school and stuff

did you ever do like the i i don't know if this is a dated term it's called a chinese fire drill does i'm gonna i don't know what it is my guess is definitely i don't yeah i also don't know i've heard that term before but i don't know what it is now i don't know why they call it that probably for racist reasons yeah because it's super racist yeah but um basically the premise is that you and your goofy friends stop at a red light and you park the car everyone gets out of the car and go and change his seats oh that sounds that's can't be and by the time it turns green you all you're all buckled up and ready to go it's that's so strange it's almost not racist it's not even close to any racist thing yeah i'm not really sure what it has to do with chinese people but my always changing seats

you got it jarvis i'm just like gonna let the blood flow um okay wait so there's one more thing that i wanted to bring up uh and then i'll stop bringing things up. So I'm on dating apps, right? And I got a message on a dating app recently. Like somebody was trying to get me to match with them. And I've realized that there's a lot. There's a humor on dating apps, I I guess is where I would start with this. Wait, before you continue, on this dating app, I didn't know that with this specific dating app that you can get a message before you accept.

Right. That's interesting. So someone can send you a message and then you receive it. Okay. And then you're like do this is like a um it's like a pickup line or whatever yeah you accept based on you assess their reaction to a prompt okay yeah i see and so and so uh so there's a photo of me on this so so first i'll say humor is tough through text humor is also tough on dating

apps also people have very different styles of humor so i think it's not funny i think that opening with your style of humor is actually a fine way to open because if they if the person's into it then they could be into your style and if not then i feel like you want to rule out the people you don't like vibe with yeah it's a speed run that being said jarvis on raya flex no i am not on raya they never let me in what is raya it's like a it's a famous people celebrity yeah it's a uh sociopath they're doing so yeah i've been on the yeah i i got on the the waiting list for uh for it because i was curious what it was like because people you know it's like there's memes about it and stuff and uh and then i've been on the waiting list for like three years and they never let me in

um okay so someone said is this gonna be a breast milk joke because red flag the breast milk jokes have been made yeah um so but it's not that it's not that it's not related to my content or anything so uh so i have no problem with somebody trying to express themselves with their sense of humor. Yeah. Or take a risk by shooting their shot. However, I have experienced a couple of times when people take such a gigantic swing and it's a big miss. And it's a big bad miss. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And I'm going to read this to you because instead of like in a video where I would like – I would feel like I needed to show this. I feel like I can read it and that way it takes away – it kind of protects the person a little bit. So – because I don't mean any ill will to this person. They made an attempt. Cool. Yeah. Um, so there's a photo of me. There's a, there's a photo of me, um, holding up a pair, a pair, two bottles of Zyrtex because I, you know, I, I have to take allergy medicine every day cause of a condition I have.

It's not, it isn't related to allergies. My body thinks it's gotten allergic allergic reaction to something it's weird so anyway um i take zyrtec every day and uh the so i'm always buying zyrtec so there's a photo of me at walgreens from a couple years ago where i'm like holding two uh two bottles of Zyrtec. And I think the caption on the photo is like, Zyrtec over everything or something like that. Just like me and the boys. Something very like, ha-ha, but it's also from my real life. It's cute.

Okay, I think it's cute. It's a better, yeah. The person replies. Nick, do you want to read it? Yeah, I'll read it. So this is a – basically you're seeing a photo you're seeing the photo of me with the zyrtec and then their comment under it yeah and it says ideally you would still be doing this after we meet only difference is you'd be picking up some

plan b smiling crying emoji i'm not really sure what the emoji had to do with it i genuinely don't know it doesn't really fit the vibe but the the joke i guess is like hey you can go you should uh you're gonna be at walgreens again buying contraceptive because you cream pied me last night Is that appropriate? Do we have an ad on this? No, we have no ad. These zoomers, these damn zoomers. Oh my god. Yeah, it? I mean, let's...

Let's boil the joke down to its simplest form but yeah no the joke the joke is like it's it's an unprotected sex joke but not one that's like i feel like plan b is such a serious thing it's intense it's like not something that you casually take you know what i mean it's not a record it's an intense kind of difficult day yeah and so the like the it feels like someone was introducing like a kink or some sort of like thing into that they could have just said you're buying me birth control even that would be and that would be weird but it'd be weird less weird than like this thing where this thing that usually happens in like an emergency i think like i would so think i think here i'm just gonna say this don't make any sexual jokes up front yeah you know what i

mean like um yeah plan b has insane effects effects on your body i thought that like you could only take plan b a certain number of times like in your life like is that i chat help me out because i would know i just know that it's like a very taxing drug yeah and it's i mean you're actually yeah it's it actually displays kind of the universal sexism that for a second there i did not even consider the fact that it was a weird harassment it's weirdly sexual like opening with opening with not really well okay cool but anyway like unprotected sex joke is a no-go nice outfit but i think it's great on my bedroom floor you know i just think a sex joke you can take as many times you just might explode takes it every time because they're rich jesus christ oh that's not what diminishes efficacy

okay that's weird though because why wouldn't you just get birth care i yeah it's very hormone heavy okay but let's i guess it makes intentions pretty clear but like i don't think i don't think you make intentions clear with a joke like that i think that before you meet up you make that intention yeah yeah i feel like you can yeah listen i think i mean also if the intention is like at some point we might have sex i don't think that has to be clarified probably at least not right it can mess up your cycle a whole lot it can take months to get back on track yeah i'm just hearing it's very taxing on the body very strange i think the basic thing like the basic thing besides all that is that it's just like this is weird this is a weird thing besides all that is that it's just like it's just weird it's a weird

thing besides all of the like intricacies but like yeah i think that if they had said let's bone it i wouldn't have brought it up on the podcast yeah but it would and it but it at least would have been like not a you know it's like not what i'm looking for you know what i mean and i'm sure there's but like my thought is like maybe that works maybe somebody's like ha what I'm looking for. You know what I mean? And I'm sure there's – but like my thought is like maybe that works. Maybe somebody is like, ha-ha, let's do it. Name the time and place. Yeah, yeah. That's just not me, you know?

That's just not Jar. I'm sure you guys get them as well. Loyal Robin. I just – sorry. I just joined stream and I have no context for why three guys are talking about birth control. It's because of a joke someone made towards me on a dating app yeah now let's the door was opened not by us yeah you know i don't want to be the guy that says like like there's a double standard here but what is the what would be the flipping

the script the guy saying it to a girl like equivalent i feel like i've seen those types of things i i mean you i there's a i bet you look good with your clothes on my bedroom yeah yeah and they're very like like pushy and weird and for sure and there's way more of them than there are yeah the reverse i don't yeah i do not mean to tell the story to be like guys deal with so much yeah no i just thought it was funny for someone to take take such a large swing yeah which is obviously happening on both uh to both to both sides yeah i just want to make the point like sometimes you'll get like an inappropriate dm shooting a shot right like that's okay yeah i kind of feel like the

philosophy behind that is it's so unlikely at at least they're defaulting to, it's so unlikely that they'll respond that I might as well. It's like how people who have never had a job write on their cover letter, like, I'll murder to get the job. Like something just so aggressive. They're like, they'll remember me because they have no life experience. Yeah. The same sort of applies to sending a DM. Like, I literally don't even want to say the words included in it, but I got one yesterday

that was like, I don't really delete messages. I'm like'm like i don't know maybe they'll follow up and i won't have the context for anything else but this was like oh no i don't even want to see those words on my phone it was it was not racist it was just really oh i delete shit regularly because i don't want to see the words on my phone i just yeah however this is not a there's 0.1 they reply i've got to make sure i have an impact this is like a service for them replying if they like you yeah like say something likable and cool right i mean i just think that it's funny that like you read my profile and then they're like i know it'll get him i know what he's up to yeah when i was first like when youtube was first happening and whatever and like my i had started having people in my dms i got a i got two messages from someone the first

one was a message just saying hey and then a couple hours later i wasn't responding of course because i don't i'll respond if someone's like you know telling me that they like my content wants to has a question for me then maybe i'll respond they just said hey i'm like i'm not gonna yeah strike it up like literally people will be like hey and then like why why won't you respond to me yeah because you gave me nothing to what do you want me to say i haven't responded to most of my friends oh danny it is danny look who it is it's Danny Danny in the chat Danny in the chat classic Danny baby

with Danny here first message was hey second message unsolicited vagina picture that's also such a I admire the I don't admire I don't start with that

we don't talk about unsolicited badge picks. So it is kind of odd. It's almost a strike. It's a strike at the glass ceiling in a way. Yeah, it doesn't... I never thought that I would be on the receiving end. And I have to say, they didn't feel good. No.

I did not like it. I blocked the person right away. I mean, I've gotten weird DMs. One... I mean, I've gotten weird dms one i mean i've gotten weird sexual dms the one event where it worked you know what was the one time something like this worked and it spread amongst like the pickup artist community yeah some caveman my friend just edited it and now he's married a stone a stone tablet yes carving of his penis

like a like grunk set yeah it's like this could be yours sent olga stone carving of his penis like a like grunk said yeah it's like this could be yours sent olga stone carving of his dick and she somehow accepted it and it boomed into this like butterfly effect of horror yeah fell in love with one of the other 12 people on earth but that that's fun i mean i just think the the mechanics of dating apps are so funny you guys seen that video of uh ben affleck trying to convince somebody on a dating app? Oh, dude. It is awful. What is it?

It's on Raya. I think it's Ben Affleck trying to match with some girl. Do you want to watch it? And then he sent her a video on Instagram or something trying to convince her to talk to him. I saw another with um did you did y'all ever watch that uh the show uh the mask show freaking sexy beasts one of the dudes from sexy beasts who i talked about in my video someone sent me and this is stuff that i never want to you know really put a big spotlight on because it's like it feels private but there were viral tiktoks at this point so it's like whatever but like they sent me these tiktoks of what the dude

from sexy beast who who was this very like free spirit californian guy where these women on hinge were like here's the messages he sent us and he's like hey sexy sharon yeah you need a cowboy he's like exactly the same yeah he was like the same dude and it was like it felt very bad it felt awful yeah sexy sharon yes i don't think that's her real name but that's her name i sent uh the link if you want to watch that ben affleck thing by the way yeah oh i kind of want to see you is it on discord or yeah just go oh you're gonna have to i'm gonna have to freaking oh i can also screen share no no you're good you good dog oh my gosh the whole the fact that you can pop out a window on discord never occurred to me and i've been every time i need to look at discord while i'm have someone on my twitch, they get to see all my messages.

And I never thought about that. I think we're going to, I'm going to, wait. Do you want to match me? Chat, could you hear that? I actually don't know if I have it set up. I can hear it over the mic. Yeah. But not there.

Could you hear it over the, like Jordan couldn't hear it. Y'all could hear it? I think it might be set up to where y'all can hear it. You can hear it? Okay, cool. We're going to do this. Jarvis, do you want people to disclose that they recognize you on dating apps right away uh not necessarily but don't hide it for a long time that's happened before it's like i made it to like a date with somebody and they brought it up like

they they were like playful about this is years ago they were like oh what do you do blah blah oh that's cool and then they're like i listen to your podcast and i was like dude don't do that yeah ask like don't do that don't listen to the podcast have you given it five stars okay it's me it's me me so is she super big on tiktok i think she wasn't and then she got big on this because how did she get on riot do they just let like hot girls on there because honestly i'm not they will let anybody on literally anybody i'm the only one they won't let on so i know they won't let

me on no standards yeah because she's not huge on TikTok. So I'm not going to say. I did say it, but I'm not going to go further than that. I'm just going to say that they never let me on. Let's just say they have some standards. It's sort of like a club in LA where they're going to let the big boys in. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But the. I'm going to stop there.

Let's see. We can't see. I just don't want to. Yeah, we don't have to see. It's just a video of his face. It's we don't have to see yeah it's just a video of his face it's just a video of his face it's just a video of his face i like how they play the music over it why are they doing it i don't i bet you could find one without the music one that doesn't have like raya it's me

why why did they do this? Dude, because they need the watch. Why did he do it? I bet if you look up what we watched. Oh, this is probably it. Yeah, there we go. Oh, wow. That was it

yeah why would he do that Naveen why would you unmatch me it's me imagine how embarrassing that would be have you seen the Snyder cut

we can't see the video no it's just his face I didn't want to it's just his face you can find his face online actually quite a lot yeah it's easy

um have you seen the Snyder cut how do you like them apples did i do a good job remember it's me it's me i don't know why it felt so it reminds me of your uh reminds me of your uh marge impression it's me it's me Why didn't you recognize me? Why did you unmatch me? It's me. Why did you unmatch me?

What did you do? Where is she? Where is Naveen? That's him to Raya support. Where is she? Where are the other matches going? Why are they unmatching me? I would say that more often than not another thing that i don't this is i'm not why am i talking about this this isn't like

it's not normally my like cup of tea to talk about this stuff um but i was just gonna say that like the unmatching thing is normal like i get like no way that's you or i'll get dms i'd say the most embarrassing thing that happens to me is i'll get dms from somebody where they go someone's impersonating you on this dating app and i'm like no it's me it's me it's me i actually had a funny i had a very distant relevant relevant relevant thing that happened to me it's pretty distant but I had someone sorry if you're in the chat

he's a patron of mine it was a very sweet message but I have my he exposed himself I have my he said I have my like I'm gonna have to reuse the term cream pie unfortunately not on the podcast no

i had i had a i have my third channel my secret channel that i stream on now because twitch tends to be a little stressful and i want to just play video games and have fun and so i've been i post like memes to that channel and just kind of it's just like a shit post thing yeah yeah and i had one of my patrons and someone who's been watching me for a while dm me and was like hey someone is like is like reposting your content to this page and is like literally taking your streams and like restreaming them live and there's like 60 people in the chat watching and it just is like really makes me bad so it's like pretending to be you and i was like i, I was like, I'm sorry.

I know this is going to be really embarrassing, but like, that's just me. I was like, he's like, his account has 20,000 subscribers and is like pretending to be you. And I was like, if you watch the stream, like I'm responding to the chat. Right, right. And like, you can tell it's live. Imagine how like much work that would be if it was somebody who was. And they'd pick me. I'm like like would you rather

pick someone who's like has a bigger following you're just the guy who's uh got a response to every possible question in the universe yeah and they're like they can just play the clip i mean i'm glad to stop there what if the guy was just like hey i found this page and luckily i'm pretty talented and i was able to track their ip i've sent swat to their house they're on their way i'm actually outside their house now and I'm coming in with the SWAT team. No, please don't. I don't. There's not quite enough time for you to respond, but I just wanted you to know

that I'm about to fire the SWAT team. I just wanted to give you a heads up and they should be arriving in three. Oh my god. Oh man. Should we close out the podcast? I mean, we can keep streaming. I think we had a good amount of time for the pod. Yeah, the pod's good. All right, so this is not necessarily the end of the stream,

but we are going to end the podcast. So we end every episode of Sad Boys with a particular phrase. I can do it. I don't remember on the tip of my tongue. I think if you guys do it, it will come to me. Yeah, if we do the whole thing, you'll know. Yeah, you do the first part, and I will think if you guys do it, it will come to me. We'll do the first part. You do the first part, and I will remember the last part. Jordan, three, two, one.

We love you. And we're sorry? Let's go. Oh, I remembered it. I was like, I don't remember it, and then it just popped into my head. He was actually just apologizing. And I'm sorry. We did it. I'm just going to hit the stop record.

I'm sweaty. We love you and I'm sweaty. Go to rich for me.